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  1. #781
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    The last two chapters are going to be very interesting, and I look forward to seeing how this new storyline will lead to a dramatic conclusion in the final chapter! I noticed a lack of commas in some sentences which distracted me a bit, but the writing and personsa were well done.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  2. #782
    Impossible is only a word BlueNostalgia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Instrutilus View Post
    I call Red is killed in battle, after trading Arcanine with Charizard so he has a Flying Pokémon and Maxwell's Wartortle with Lapras, so Maxwell has a decently powerful Pokémon. Eevee evolves into Espeon and Wartortle into Blastoise, but all 6 Pokémon in Red's possession are killed along side him. What you see on Mt. Silver is an image with the party Mewtwo saw, created by Mewtwo so Red's spirit never dies, something Blue asked it to do after catching the thing in a Master Ball.

    That's just me though =P
    You know I usually really hate Red being dead on Mt Silver theories, but that one, tied in with this story, is actually really cool.
    "I can't see the end of the road anymore! But I suppose, that's part of the adventure..."

    - Danerius Jr, my best friend and greatest Pokemon Rival

  3. #783
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Right now, I have no idea how you're gonna do it Gama, but I'm lovin' it! You're doing a great job, and I think there was a little foreshadowing in this chapter, but it was excellent!

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  4. #784
    I need beer money dammit! Rob Anybody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    *Rocks back and forth on chair* Mewtwo gonna kill someone...
    I don't calculate stat values, and I don't care about natures. I catch my Pokemon the way they are. I just play the game normally. If you agree copy & paste this in your sig.

    ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY HYPNOTOAD!


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    My Fic: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc Help a struggling writer! Read and review! Constructive criticism is much appreciated!

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    Back to KM Kantomasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great chapter as always. keep it up!!
    My 3ds FC: 0018 2172 7225 Safari: Rock Feel free to add me! I can only get on wifi maybe once a week at most though!
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  6. #786
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Instrutilus View Post
    I call Red is killed in battle, after trading Arcanine with Charizard so he has a Flying Pokémon and Maxwell's Wartortle with Lapras, so Maxwell has a decently powerful Pokémon. Eevee evolves into Espeon and Wartortle into Blastoise, but all 6 Pokémon in Red's possession are killed along side him. What you see on Mt. Silver is an image with the party Mewtwo saw, created by Mewtwo so Red's spirit never dies, something Blue asked it to do after catching the thing in a Master Ball.

    That's just me though =P
    Interesting theory. Some parts are quite accurate, others are not so accurate.

    Also, I forgot to say that Rival's Story has been nominated in the following categories:

    Best Serial
    Best Journey Fic
    Best Main Character (Blue)
    Best Supporting Character (Red)
    Best Supporting Character (Alakazam)
    Best Antagonist (Red)
    Best Antagonist (Agatha)
    Best Take on a Canon Character (Blue)
    Best Take on a Canon Character (Red)

    If you like Rival's Story or any of the characters mentioned above, I'd really appreciate it if you could show your support!

  7. #787
    The Darkest Magikarp Karpi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    So I was messing around in Emerald's Battle Tower in the Multi Battle setting, and I ran into none other than Sailor Maxwell himself!

    He used Omanyte and Phanpy (lol) and when I beat him his saying was "I'm making you my rival!"

    I didn't know you based him off an actual character!!! This just blew my mind so I had to post it

  8. #788
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Karpi View Post
    So I was messing around in Emerald's Battle Tower in the Multi Battle setting, and I ran into none other than Sailor Maxwell himself!

    He used Omanyte and Phanpy (lol) and when I beat him his saying was "I'm making you my rival!"

    I didn't know you based him off an actual character!!! This just blew my mind so I had to post it
    Yup! I'm glad someone has battled Sailor Maxwell! xD This next chapter might shed a little more light as to why he is there actually. Also, why don't you go back to Chapter 26 and check what Maxwell says when Blue beats him for the first time? (Also, his Pokemon are randomised in the Battle Frontier so they're not much to go on =P)

    Anyway, here is the 99th chapter of Rival's Story. After this, there's only one more chapter left and I'd really appreciate it if everyone reading could take the time to comment on these last two chapters - even if you've never commented here before! Even if it's just two words or something, I'd really love that (make sure it is more than one word though or you'll get infracted!) Well, anyway, thanks for reading this gargantuan project of mine - it means a lot that so many people have stuck to it! I'm finding it a little emotional that it's almost over!

    Chapter 99

    “Volt Tackle!” cried Red mercilessly.

    “Blast Burn!” commanded Blue fiercely.

    Charizard and Pikachu ran towards each other, each of them launching the most powerful attack they could possibly muster. There was a huge explosion of light, electricity, fire and smoke, but when it cleared the result was seen. Charizard was knocked out and Pikachu was just about standing.

    “Damn it!” shouted Blue.

    He had won a handful of battles against Red since they had come to Mt. Silver but nowhere the number that he had lost. They battled each other every day, usually more than once each day. They occasionally battled against Maxwell too, but they always took it easy against him – they didn’t want to make the man kill himself. None of the three of them ever battled Giovanni though, he said he preferred to battle wild Pokémon, he had trained his Pokémon to be killers and he didn’t want to unleash them on his allies’ Pokémon. It seemed like a fair reason to not want to battle Red or Blue, in fact, both of the boys knew that his Pokémon were literally killers and didn’t want to risk calling his bluff anyway.

    Red and Blue retreated their Pokémon to their Poké Balls and, as always, went their separate ways wordlessly. They didn’t speak much anymore, particularly Red – Blue often had conversations with Maxwell and Giovanni, but the three of them were lucky if they could get three words a day out of Red other than commands directed at his Pokémon, something had changed about him. Blue was furious, he had thought this time he was sure to beat Red, he had even thought he might have improved enough to be a level above Red but, once again, Red brought it all crashing down around him with his clearly superior skill. Blue didn’t know where Red was going but he stormed off back towards the shack just outside the cave that served as a makeshift Pokémon Center.

    “Blue,” came a voice from behind him that he immediately recognised as Giovanni, “I need to talk to you.”

    It wasn’t often that they saw Giovanni. They only saw him every two or three days and even then it was fairly brief, he was always training his Pokémon somewhere else around Mt. Silver, he had become fairly obsessed with the Pokémon around the cave that were not registered on the regional Pokédex, he found it amazing that such Pokémon were appearing in Kanto. In fact, the times they did manage to speak to Giovanni were usually not instigated by them – them being Blue and Maxwell, of course, as Red generally didn’t speak to anyone. Blue suspected part of it was also because Giovanni was used to not mixing with his troops.

    “What?” asked Blue in a stroppy manner, he was never exactly a pleasure to talk to after he lost to Red.

    “Could we go somewhere a little more private please?” requested Giovanni politely.

    Blue agreed and the pair walked off to a deeper part of Mt. Silver.

    “I have a favour to ask you,” stated Giovanni simply.

    “I’m kind of in the middle of the last favour you asked me,” snapped Blue.

    “Ah, yes,” chortled Giovanni amicably, “I suppose you’re right there. This one is more long term though.”

    “What is it?” asked Blue.

    “Well,” answered Giovanni, “Whether this mission is a success or not, I think I’m going to retire from my position as Gym Leader. I don’t feel that I really did the role justice as I was rarely present at my Gym and, on top of that, now that I’m free of the shackles of Team Rocket, I don’t particularly want to be tied down to a Gym. However, it’s my responsibility to find a successor should I choose to leave my post for reasons other than illness, death or some other mitigating circumstance. So, the favour I wished to ask of you was that after we are finished with this mission – would you take over as Viridian Gym Leader?”

    Blue couldn’t believe he was being asked this, but what he couldn’t believe even more was that he was considering saying no. He was just too upset about being consistently proven inferior to Red.

    “Did Red say no?” challenged Blue.

    “No,” replied Giovanni, “I didn’t ask Red.”

    “Don’t lie to me,” retorted Blue, “Why would you ask me instead of Red?”

    “I know Red usually wins against you in battles, Blue,” Giovanni explained, “I know I’m a little distant but I’d be a fool not to notice that. It’s not about that. You’re a spectacular trainer – better than me, probably and without a doubt far better than I was when I first became Gym Leader. The reason I chose you over Red is because you’re like me.”

    “I’m not like you,” blurted Blue automatically.

    “Yes, you are, Blue,” insisted Giovanni with a sinister smile, “You’re ruthless. We’re both ruthless, we’ll do whatever it takes to achieve our goals. That was why I signed the letter addressed to you with my name and I left Red’s anonymous, I knew there was no way that you would turn down that invitation, no matter who invited you, but Red is plagued by a disease known as ‘morality’.”

    “If you and I have no morals,” posed Blue, “Then why are we trying to stop the scientists in Cinnabar from creating this destructive super Pokémon?”

    “For ourselves,” answered Giovanni honestly, “And maybe for those we care about but no one else. If you were in no danger and none of your friends, family or loved ones were in danger – would you bother putting it the effort you’re putting in now?”

    Blue thought about it and, honestly, he couldn’t say he would have.

    “No,” replied Blue, somewhat ashamed of himself, “I guess I wouldn’t have.”

    “That’s nothing to be ashamed of!” announced Giovanni with a fiercely passionate look in his eyes, “That makes you stronger! You know what Red said when my man at Nugget Bridge asked him to join Team Rocket? He said he wouldn’t do it because Team Rocket were evil! Do you remember why you declined?”

    Blue shook his head, he honestly couldn’t remember.

    “Because Team Rocket was too weak and pathetic!” cried Giovanni, growing in both passion and volume, the echoes of speech flying around the part of the cave they were in, “And in Silph, you knew we were up to no good and did you put any effort into stopping us?”

    Blue shook his head again.

    “No!” declared Giovanni, “You came to get back at my Scientist and while you were there you tried to get back at Red too but you didn’t bother with me because you didn’t have a grudge against me! You are strong, Blue, you are proud but most importantly of all, you are ruthless. Red might be a stronger trainer, but you’re the kind of trainer who will really save the day and that is why I want you to be the next Gym Leader of Viridian City. So, what do you say? Will you do it?”

    Blue wanted to say no, he wanted to say he wasn’t like Giovanni, he wanted to say he was better than that, but he couldn’t bring himself to, Giovanni’s speech was just too rousing.

    “I’ll do it,” replied Blue.

    “Excellent,” answered Giovanni with an enormous smile, “I’ll send your name off to the Pokémon League Association today.”

    After that, Blue and Giovanni went their separate ways. Blue didn’t feel like training much after that, but he did want to talk to Maxwell. Although he had sort of given up on it, Blue had achieved his dream of becoming a Gym Leader and he had promised Maxwell that he could be a Gym Trainer, so he had to find him and let him know as soon as possible. It didn’t take too long to find him, Maxwell was usually hanging around the makeshift Pokémon Center, he found it too depressing to train too much because Wartortle couldn’t do much good against wild Pokémon. Even when he did train, he ended up coming back to the Pokémon Center shack quite regularly because he always needed to heal Wartortle.

    “Blue!” exclaimed Maxwell in delight, “It’s good to see you!”

    Maxwell was always excited whenever any of them came back to the shack, no one was there nearly as often as him. They’d been there a long time now and no one had enough patience to keep pitying Maxwell.

    “Hey Maxwell,” greeted Blue gloomily, he was still down about losing to Red.

    “What’s up, man?” asked Maxwell, seeming genuinely concerned, “You seem down.”

    “Oh, it’s nothing,” dismissed Blue, “I’ve got good news actually.”

    “Oh?” asked Maxwell, “What is it then?”

    “Giovanni asked me to take over as Gym Leader of Viridian City,” answered Blue.

    “Oh my God!” yelled Maxwell, “That’s brilliant news! Do you still want me to be a Gym Trainer?”

    “I don’t want you to be a Gym Trainer,” replied Blue, then, after a brief pause, he continued, “I want you to be the Gym Trainer. I don’t want my Gym filled with useless people, it’ll just be us. I won’t have anyone but you in my Gym, I promise.”

    “Not even Red?” asked Maxwell innocently.

    Blue hated Red being brought up. The idea of running a Gym with Red was something he simply couldn’t bear, the idea of a challenger coming in and fighting Red as a warm up to him and then remarking on how easy the Gym Leader was in comparison was absolutely mortifying – Blue didn’t think he could deal with that level of humiliation. He opened his mouth to say something in reply to Maxwell but the words just didn’t come out.

    “You’re upset about losing to Red again,” said Maxwell, “Aren’t you?”

    Blue just nodded his head, if he tried to speak, he probably wouldn’t be able to hold the tears in anymore, he hated being so weak.

    “Well, don’t worry about it so much!” declared Maxwell, “Just because you always lose to some people doesn’t mean you’re not a good trainer! Just because you always lose to Red doesn’t mean you should give up, we’ve got a job to do, we need to keep training here! I always lose, Blue, to you and Red, I can never win against either of you but I never give up!”

    Blue would regret what he said next for years to come and he would never truly forgive himself for it. He said what he said in the heat of the moment because he was upset and angry about being inferior to Red, an issue that had plagued him for almost his entire life but that was no excuse, he still shouldn’t have said it and he knew that. All he could do that came anywhere close to making it up to Maxwell was honouring the promise that he made to him that there would never be any Gym Trainer but him in the Viridian Gym while Blue was the Gym Leader there.

    “Yeah?” snapped Blue, “Well maybe you should!”

    Maxwell didn’t say anything to this, the tears just welled up in his eyes. He nodded, stood up and headed to the shack with all the supplies. Blue knew he should follow him in and apologise but he didn’t, he was too mad about losing against Red, he had frustration to take out. He just headed back into the cave to train.

    After Blue had been training his Pokémon in the same part of the cave for several hours he heard footsteps echoing around, coming up behind him. The echoes distorted the sound so he couldn’t tell whether it was Giovanni, Maxwell or Red but he hoped it was Maxwell – he needed to apologise to the man. Blue turned to see that it was Red – the last person that he wanted to see right now.

    “Blue!” shouted Red in fury, “What the hell did you say to Maxwell?”

    It was the most Red had spoken in quite some time so Blue knew something was up. A sick feeling came up in his stomach, he was scared that Maxwell had done something terrible.

    “What happened?” asked Blue.

    “You answer my question first!” snapped Red.

    “I suggested that he might not be cut out for this particular mission,” answered Blue, in an attempt to sugar coat what he had actually said.

    “Yeah?” challenged Red, “Well when I went back to the Center to heal my Pokémon, I saw him and he said he was leaving, I tried to stop him but he said that you were right and he had to go because he was a joke and now he’s gone! I don’t even know if he’ll manage to survive the walk back to the Pokémon League but he was determined!”

    Blue couldn’t believe it, he felt incredibly guilty.

    “He’s got Wartortle though,” said Blue, in an attempt to make himself feel better, “And it’s gotten a lot stronger since we’ve been up here, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

    Red aggressively pulled a Poké Ball out of his pocket.

    “He told me Wartortle deserved a better trainer than him and gave it to me,” informed Red, “I tried to make him take it back but he wouldn’t. I managed to catch a Ponyta for him to ride back to the Indigo Plateau but he said he was gonna release it as soon as he got there.”

    “Where’s he going?” asked Blue desperately, he couldn’t believe so few words and made Maxwell take this action – he must have already been on the edge.

    “Back home to Hoenn,” informed Red, “He said a friend of his has some sort of Pokémon competition going on over there where you don’t need to have your own Pokémon.”

    Blue was silent, he hung his head in shame. Maxwell had always been there for him and this was how he repaid him?

    “I’m sorry,” croaked Blue, once again on the verge of tears.

    Red sighed when he saw this and his anger died down.

    “It’s not your fault,” declared Red, “He shouldn’t have been here.”

    “Thanks,” said Blue.

    The two of them sat down next to each other in silence for a few minutes.

    “Eevee evolved today,” said Red, “It’s turned into a Pokémon I’ve never seen before. Giovanni said it’s called Espeon.”

    “You spoke to Giovanni?” asked Blue, “Did he ask you to be a Gym Leader?”

    “No,” answered Red in shock, “Did he ask you?”

    “Yeah,” replied Blue, “I thought he’d ask you first. I said yes.”

    Red nodded. There was silence for a little longer.

    “I don’t think I can take this for much longer, Blue,” admitted Red, “That’s why I’ve been so quiet, it’s really getting to me.”

    “Don’t worry,” assured Blue, “It’s taken a long time to get where we are now but I’ve got a feeling this is all gonna be over very soon.”

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggutor, Alakazam, Gyarados, Rhydon
    Red’s Team: Venusaur, Pikachu, Espeon, Snorlax, Arcanine, Wartortle

  9. #789
    Me am stalking bug Instrutilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Wow, Red's finally beginning to crack. After 99 Chapters, it's about time, damnit! =P

    Interesting chapter, at least I got the Maxwell Blastoise thing right =P Now, for Blue's Charizard >=3

  10. #790
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Gama, this is EPIC. You have actually inspired me to write something called the Starter Exception with Rival's Story. Purely awesome. Oh, is the establishment in Hoenn the Battle Factory?
    HGSS friend code: 4770 4099 3568
    HGSS friend code's name is BLUE.

  11. #791
    Lovin the beach Surferboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I can't believe Maxwell is gone...
    Above post said the same thing that happened to me
    you inspred me to right. for that I thank you
    Friend Code X is:

    3840-6649-9157

  12. #792
    Epic Sea Otter ftw Yumega's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    O.o That was awesome in a sad kinda way. I'm really going to miss that optamistic sailor :(
    The next chapter is going to be big :O
    And so one of the most loved fics is coming to an end soon, damn that will be sad in a happy way! :) It was a good way of showing how Blue becomes a gym leader btw, but no mention of Machamp and Arcanine. Oh well they kind of explain themsleves!



    ^Credit for thumbnails goes to Instrutilus!^

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    Eternal Flame: Coming Soon!

  13. #793
    Back to KM Kantomasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    NOOO!!! only one chap left. oh well, all great things must come to an end. I hav to say, not only have red and blue grown, but you have too. look at this chap and your first chap, this one is waaaaayyy better. :)
    My 3ds FC: 0018 2172 7225 Safari: Rock Feel free to add me! I can only get on wifi maybe once a week at most though!
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  14. #794
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Wow, this is a good second to last chapter, and it certainly tells us how Maxwell ended up in the Battle Frontier.

    Anyways, I like how you portrayed Red in this chapter he's starting to turn into the hermit Red from GSC though I don't like it but it's your story. As for Blue he's going to fulfill his dream of becoming a gymleader.

    Though Giovanni's logic about a hero is kind of weird, I mean aren't people like Red usually the ones that are made out to be heroes?

  15. #795
    Yeah XD Danerius Jr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    ... two words.

    but seriously. i almost cried when Maxwell left, found it really sad :(
    cant wait for the last one!
    Sometimes I feel I should a more topical name!

    Without Mew!
    Life is like a Growlithe that's not Fire!
    Without Mew!
    life is like a team without a Flyer!

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