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  1. #406
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Nice chapter! I like Blue's tactics.

  2. #407
    c'est moi. :3 moonface's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    omg, what's gonna happen to blue!? :O

    can't wait for the next chapter!

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    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    *returns* You have definitely improved from the Mansion when I left. Can't wait for the next chapter!
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I'm hooked on your fic mate. Somehow I managed to catch up on your story and the big change in Blue is awesome. He started up very cocky and is now the perfect trainer (something that I really felt actually changed with his personality through Pokémon red/leaf green ect)
    Anyway this is epic and I can't wait for his elite four battle and final battle with red.
    I'm afraid that at the start I dislike how you made Red (really in two words Dick-head) but this is your story and you do make it work but unlike Blue's personality change Red's seems to happen overnight.
    But later on you made it work really well and I guess Blue beocmes more serious as Red beocmes more cocky.
    Great story with minor blips that really does nothing to put the score down ;) More please



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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Yumega View Post
    I'm hooked on your fic mate. Somehow I managed to catch up on your story and the big change in Blue is awesome. He started up very cocky and is now the perfect trainer (something that I really felt actually changed with his personality through Pokémon red/leaf green ect)
    Anyway this is epic and I can't wait for his elite four battle and final battle with red.
    I'm afraid that at the start I dislike how you made Red (really in two words Dick-head) but this is your story and you do make it work but unlike Blue's personality change Red's seems to happen overnight.
    But later on you made it work really well and I guess Blue beocmes more serious as Red beocmes more cocky.
    Great story with minor blips that really does nothing to put the score down ;) More please
    Thank you very much and well done on catching up after so long. I know you're right about Red. At the start, I didn't really know what I intended to do with Red, so things keep changing. That's also why his personality change happens overnight because it's a while between encounters with Red, so I change my mind a bit on what he's like.

    I am happier with Blue's character development because, as you say, it's more gradual. I guess when he's a rookie he's more unjustifiably confident and then as he becomes a better trainer, he has a better idea of how good he is.

    Anyway, as per your request, here is more:

    Chapter 70

    Blue had no idea where this Rhydon had come from, but he was safe in assuming that it belonged to Giovanni. He knew that it was coming at him with a Horn Drill attack and he knew also that that would be fatal. Giovanni had actually sent this Pokémon out while Blue was clambering onto Charizard’s back and considered this well within the rules of the battle. Giovanni would one day explain to Blue that this was what he meant by making Blue regret sending Alakazam out alongside Charizard, but that wouldn’t be for quite some time yet. Giovanni supposed since Rhydon was simply trying to kill Blue and not actually directly interfering in the battle, this was well within the rules that had been laid out.

    Blue sent out Rhyhorn, unable to think what else he could do, but as it turned out, he didn’t need to. A flash of electricity hit Rhydon’s horn, causing the gigantic Pokémon to stop charging in confusion. Blue looked around and immediately realised what had happened. Alakazam had managed to take Nidoqueen out with one final Psychic while Blue wasn’t looking and had proceeded to launch a Shock Wave attack without bothering to aim, Rhydon’s Lightning Rod ability had drawn the attack in to its horn and that is what caused the Pokémon the bewilderment displayed and saved Blue’s life.

    “Take out Alakazam instead!” yelled Giovanni from the other side of the arena.

    Blue looked around and saw Giovanni, still seated on Nidoqueen, just as Blue was still seated on Charizard, in spite of both Pokémon being unconscious – it was the only way to protect against Earthquakes.

    “Psychic!” commanded Blue in response, he then hushed his voice and spoke to Rhyhorn, “As soon as Alakazam faints, I want you to hit that Rhydon with an Earthquake, you got that?”

    Rhyhorn nodded obediently in response.

    Rhydon stared at Blue for a few seconds, still not certain whether to continue its attack or not, clearly this Pokémon didn’t have much of an ability to think for itself and relied on its trainer more than most. Alakazam hit it with a Psychic attack, but still it took a few steps towards Blue.

    “Attack the Alakazam, you fool!” chided Giovanni, “Horn Drill!”

    Rhydon nodded indicating its intention to obey and then turned to face Alakazam. Blue suddenly remembered Alakazam’s latest move.

    “Ice Punch!” commanded Blue.

    Alakazam’s physical strength was extremely limited; in fact, Blue had heard that Alakazam’s muscles are so weak that they have to use their telekinetic powers to move their limbs. This meant that the Ice Punch wouldn’t do a lot of damage, but hopefully, the fact that it was double super effective would make up for this. Rhydon charged towards Alakazam at full speed with its horn spinning at an incredible speed, making a cacophonous, whirring noise. Thankfully, the attack missed spectacularly and Rhydon thundered straight past Alakazam, almost hitting the floor. Alakazam’s fist lit up with ice and slammed into Rhydon as it stumbled, knocking it down but not really doing a lot of damage.

    “Stick to Psychic,” ordered Blue, “It’s much more effective.”

    Strangely, Giovanni did not give his Pokémon a command; he just continued to lie on Nidoqueen’s back, now adopting a smile on his face. Blue considered the possibility that he was just so badly injured that he wasn’t thinking straight, but decided that that probably wasn’t it. Blue was prepared for Alakazam to faint, but was still concerned about what would then happen. Blue was not at all confident in Rhyhorn’s ability to take out its evolved form, so it was integral that Alakazam dealt as much damage as possible to Rhydon. Blue had Alakazam continue to pelt Rhydon with Psychic attacks while it was on the floor but then he heard the all too familiar whirring sound synonymous with the rhinoceros’ Horn Drill attack.

    “Out of the way, Alakazam!” yelled Blue desperately, knowing it was too late.

    Rhydon didn’t have much of a problem with accuracy this time and succeeded in hitting Alakazam dead on, knocking it out in one go and leaving it with a pretty serious looking wound. It appeared Rhyhorn had better reactions than Alakazam because the second Alakazam fell, the floor of the Gym started rumbling and Rhydon fell to the ground. Blue took this opportunity to return Alakazam to its Poké Ball, but remained on Charizard’s back in order to protect himself.

    “Earthquake!” cried Blue and Giovanni in perfect unison.

    The floor of the Gym began to shake even more violently than before, the holes created by Dugtrio collapsed in on themselves. Both Rhyhorn and Rhydon looked as if they were in intense pain and Blue prayed that his would come out on top, as unlikely as it seemed. A few seconds later, it was all over, but both Pokémon were still standing.

    “Again!” ordered both the trainers, once again speaking simultaneously.

    The Earthquakes recommenced, this time even more intense than the last. In spite of being on Charizard’s back, Blue was still thrown around by the Earthquake; it just didn’t injure him this time. Blue’s head was tossed back and forth, so he found it very difficult to concentrate on the battle at hand. When Blue’s vision finally returned to normal and he was finally able to fully take in what had happened, he found himself unable to move. Rhyhorn had fainted. It was all over. Blue had not only failed to attain his final Badge, but Giovanni’s Rhydon was going to kill him. Blue looked to Rhydon, who was clearly seriously injured, but still safely on its own two feet, standing still, oafishly awaiting further instructions from its trainer. Giovanni took a little longer than Blue to gather himself, but when he finally did, a smile lit up across his face.

    “Please!” begged Blue, “Don’t kill me!”
    “Rhydon,” addressed Giovanni, completely ignoring Blue’s pleading, “You know what to do.”

    Rhydon nodded in response and its horn began spinning and it took a few threatening steps towards Blue.

    “That’s it, Rhydon,” encouraged Giovanni, “Go slowly, I want to see all the details.”

    Blue looked up at the creature in horror as it walked over to him, one terrifying step at a time

    “Please!” yelled Blue again, “I’m sorry!”

    In truth, he had no idea what he was apologising for, he was just desperate not to die. Blue grabbed on to Charizard’s unconscious body as tight as he could.

    “Please wake up, please wake up,” he pleaded his starter, knowing that it was useless, “Please, I need you, I need help.”

    Rhydon continued to approach, it was now very close indeed. The gigantic, stone beast lowered its head, preparing to puncture Blue’s body with its deadly, spinning drill. Blue looked around, considering running. The Gym Trainers were all around, watching the battle, none of them were going to let him leave.

    “Resistance is futile, Blue,” informed Giovanni, overjoyed with himself for winning the battle, “Just submit, there’s no way out. My Gym Trainers have been ordered to make sure this battle ends fairly and as you know, there’s no running from a trainer battle!”

    Blue whimpered something unintelligible to Charizard about waking up and saving him when he felt something move at his waist. Had one of his Pokémon miraculously recovered? Blue felt each Poké Ball in turn. Two were empty – those of Charizard and Rhyhorn, both of them were still lying unconscious across the arena.

    Rhydon was now so close that Blue could hear its breath, it actually sounded excited.

    Blue felt his next Poké Ball. Pidgeot. Definitely no movement there.

    Rhydon took another thundering step forwards, lowering its head even further. Blue was on borrowed time now.

    Blue felt his next Poké Ball. Alakazam. No action there.

    Giovanni let out a cruel, uncaring laugh, eagerly anticipating Blue’s demise.

    Blue felt his fifth Poké Ball, Exeggcute. Not even a peep.

    Rhydon’s horn was now just a couple of feet away from Blue’s face, it was edging slowly towards him, it would only be a few seconds now.

    Blue felt the final Poké Ball on his belt, Gyarados, it was worth a try. Absolutely no movement, it was all over.

    Then, suddenly, Blue felt Gyarados’ Poké Ball twitch ever so slightly. Then Blue remembered – Gyarados had never fainted! It had been reduced to a miniscule amount of health and poisoned, but it had never fainted!

    As Rhydon’s horn span faster and faster and Giovanni laughed more and more, Blue grabbed Gyarados’ Poké Ball and called upon his final Pokémon.

    “Surf!” ordered Blue without hesitation.

    Rhydon had no idea what to do and all Giovanni could do was gasp in shock.

    Gyarados immediately complied and Rhydon was hit backwards, falling unconscious on to Giovanni’s left leg, pinning the man down. Blue looked around to the Gym Trainers, they were not intervening.

    “This is within the rules he laid out,” Blue reminded them.
    “We know,” responded the man who had claimed to be the Karate King.

    Blue nodded in response and walked towards Giovanni, bidding Gyarados to follow. Gyarados complied obediently, still groaning from the poison in its veins, no doubt it would faint within the next minute or so – this had to be quick.

    “I suppose this is it then,” groaned Giovanni as Blue approached, “You’re going to kill me?”

    Blue nodded and had Gyarados move forwards and place its jaws ready to end Giovanni’s life.

    “Well,” continued Giovanni, clearly quite laboured in his speech, “All I can do is ask you that you don’t.”
    “Why shouldn’t I?” demanded Blue, “You would’ve killed me!”
    “I...” started Giovanni, pausing after only one word, it was unclear whether it was due to pain or uncertainty though, “I’ve turned over a new leaf. You’ve made me realise the error of my ways. Please, give me a second chance.”

    Blue recalled his encounter with the burglar he’d had upon his return to the Pokémon Mansion, he had said that everyone deserves a second chance. That’s not the kind of thing you can just spout out without sticking to it.

    “I guess you’re right,” responded Blue mercifully, “Everyone deserves a second chance. Now give me a Badge”

    Giovanni went to his pocket and handed Blue the Earth Badge. After snatching the Badge from the Gym Leader’s hand, Blue proceeded to grab three Poké Balls from his belt, returned Gyarados, Charizard and Rhyhorn to their respective Poké Balls and walked out of the battle field area of the Gym, approaching one of the Gym Trainers who had been watching the battle.

    “Out of the way,” snapped Blue, “And go make sure he doesn’t die.”

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggcute, Alakazam, Gyarados, Rhyhorn
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Grimer, Aerodactyl
    Blue's Pokédex: 23 Caught, 88 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 8

  6. #411
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I like the chapter, but I don't know why'd Blue let Giovanni chicken out like that.

  7. #412
    Scyther use fly! what th. Neo_X's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: Rival's Story

    Wow this fic is excellent!
    Iv'e read chapters 1 through 49 in just two days.
    Take in mind that I have had to work both days as well
    I have been putting almost all of my free time into this.
    I signed up just to let you know how much a like it and to keep up the good work!

  8. #413
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Awesome! Now for the E4! Oh, and Exeggcute is going to evolve!
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  9. #414
    Fighting Type Trainer Kick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Wow, what an epic end to an epic battle. I almost completely forgot that Gyarados never fainted. Great chapter.

    Quote Originally Posted by SSJ3_Raditz View Post
    I like the chapter, but I don't know why'd Blue let Giovanni chicken out like that.
    To be fair, Blue doesn't really have that killer instinct that Giovanni did. The whole time Blue was just trying to defend himself, and most of his attacks "targeting" Giovanni were just to set up a different strategy. Besides, even if Blue isn't completely aware of it, Giovanni seems to be very prideful. I daresay losing to not one but two kids (he's already been beaten twice by Red in Celadon and Saffron and will soon be beaten again at the gym) is probably a fate worse than the death for him. So he'll have to live with the fact that he owe's his life to someone who's a mere kid in his eyes. It's probably gonna bother Giovanni, to say the least.
    "Isn't Lady Gaga one of the Gym Leaders in Black & White?"
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  10. #415
    Back to KM Kantomasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    i wouldve killed him and stole his pokemon, then blame it on the gym trainers
    My 3ds FC: 0018 2172 7225 Safari: Rock Feel free to add me! I can only get on wifi maybe once a week at most though!
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  11. #416
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Rioluluver View Post
    i wouldve killed him and stole his pokemon, then blame it on the gym trainers
    As Blue found out, a scenario is one thing but real life is different.
    Swampert_rox



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  12. #417
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by SSJ3_Raditz View Post
    I like the chapter, but I don't know why'd Blue let Giovanni chicken out like that.
    Yeah, Kick pretty much nailed the answer to this one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rioluluver View Post
    i wouldve killed him and stole his pokemon, then blame it on the gym trainers
    Remind me never to get into a Pokemon battle with you...


    Oh, also, check out the date of my first post in this thread and check out today's date - just a heads up ;)

    Anyway, here's the next chapter.


    Chapter 71

    It took a lot of effort for Blue to keep up his bravado act all the way out of the Gym, but he managed it. He struggled his way to the local Pokémon Center, still in a lot of pain from the punishment he had taken from his toughest battle yet, handed over his Pokémon to be healed, stumbled over to the seating area and collapsed immediately.

    Blue knew he must have sustained some quite serious injuries from that battle, but the thing that was on his mind more than anything else was Red. His body was in some pretty serious pain, but his mind was in worse. Every second that he lay in this Pokémon Center, pathetically trying to recuperate his health was a second that Red had to catch up with him. He had managed to maintain his lead for so long, he wasn’t about to let it go now. Blue imagined where Red was. At the start of his battle with Giovanni, Red had only managed to attain six Badges, but he could’ve been challenging Blaine already. If he was, he would’ve probably beaten Blaine by the time Blue beat Giovanni. In fact, if Red didn’t mess around in Pallet Town like Blue did, he’d probably already be battling Giovanni. Blue couldn’t take the stress anymore and stood up, eager to continue on and finally challenge the Pokémon League – he had eight Badges now!

    As Blue stood up, his vision was clouded as if he was looking into a bright light. He immediately sank to the seat again.

    “Take it easy, kid!” chided a familiar voice.

    Blue wasn’t sure where he knew the voice from when he turned to see the old man from outside the Viridian City Gym.

    “Don’t rush yourself,” advised the old man, “Trainers like you can’t take everything in one go!”
    “What is your problem?” snapped Blue in retaliation – he had had enough of this man’s unprovoked verbal attacks, “I’ve got all the Gym Badges in Kanto!”
    “I feel sorry for you, kid,” responded the old man, somewhat more meekly, “You remind me of me as a boy. I was running around Kanto, beating Gym Leaders here and there and then, after getting two or three Badges, I collapsed. I’d run myself ragged and I couldn’t go on anymore.”
    “Really?” asked Blue in disbelief.
    “That’s right!” yelled the old man, “I was quite the hotshot trainer! I always wanted to prove that I was better than everyone else and I gave up my health doing it! I hate seeing kids like you doing the same things to themselves. I just wish there was a way for kids these days to prove themselves without going through all that stress.”
    “Something like a Gym, maybe,” suggested Blue, “Like, with a similar sort of arena so you can have nice battles that are well moderated but instead of battling Gym Leaders and Gym Trainers, you just battle other trainers trying to prove themselves?”
    “Yeah,” answered the old man, “Exactly like that! My grandson, Cal, just took a boat to Johto to get some Pokémon off some Elm guy and was thinking about taking the Gym challenge over there. Maybe if I built some sort of Trainer House like you said, he’ll come back. I’ve been worried sick about him!”
    “Yeah, maybe,” responded Blue.
    “Anyway,” continued the old man, “You rest up now. Don’t go hurting yourself. What are you gonna achieve by going so fast anyway?”

    Blue just nodded and lay down. His mind was put a little more at ease by the old man’s comments. The old man proceeded to walk out of the Pokémon Center, presumably to continue to stand outside and moan at anyone who dared to go near it. Blue thought about his journey, he sure had been going for a long time and he’d met a lot of people. He couldn’t help but wonder what everyone he had met so far was up to. Obviously, Red was a major concern, but he was also interested to know what Maxwell was up to, it’d been a while since he’d seen the old sailor-turned-rival-turned-friend, maybe he was finally living the dream and making a living wage off of Pokémon battles – didn’t seem very likely though.

    Blue wondered if Giovanni was actually going to be capable of battling Red. Maybe Red would have to wait until Giovanni had fully recuperated from all of the injuries he sustained during his battle with Blue and Blue would be able to beat Red to the Pokémon League without any trouble at all. On the other hand, there was always a chance Giovanni could get someone to stand in for him and Blue imagined that if someone stood in for Giovanni they’d be a lot easier to defeat than Giovanni himself. There was, of course, always the chance that Giovanni would just man up and battle for himself, fighting through his injuries. Blue just really hoped that Red wouldn’t get the Earth Badge.

    Then Blue had a thought – if Giovanni laid out the same rules for Red as he did for Blue, Red losing meant he would die. As much as Blue hated Red, he didn’t want him to die, they had been friends when they were younger, in fact, it was just Blue’s jealousy that had pushed them apart really. Oak’s clear favouritism of Red was the thing that had really pushed them apart, Blue’s parents had died before he and his sister could remember and Oak was the closest thing he had to a father and yet every day he felt like Oak preferred Red.

    Incredibly worried about his friend-turned-rival, Red, Blue got up, collected his Pokémon and dashed to the outer window of the Viridian City Gym, where he could look in at the battle between Giovanni and Red. That is, if it was actually taking place. Blue had to stand on Rhyhorn’s back in order to see into the window and even then he didn’t have a clear view, but he saw enough. Giovanni, stood completely still, making no attempt to get anywhere near Red and Red standing, completely unharmed. Giovanni’s Rhydon was facing off against Red’s Snorlax, which soon fainted due to a Horn Drill attack. Red held his hand over his two remaining active Poké Balls and took a few seconds to come to a decision, in which time, Giovanni and Rhydon did absolutely nothing. They simply waited for him to choose his next Pokémon.

    Blue was outraged by the difference in attitude to his two challengers – did everyone in the world prefer Red to Blue? Not only this, but it looked as if the battle was about to go in Red’s favour, which was something Blue certainly did not want to see. He didn’t want his rival to die, but he didn’t want him to particularly enjoy living either. Blue stormed off towards Route 22 and the Pokémon League, certain that if he headed off while Red was still busy with Giovanni. He knew he was definitely superior to Red in terms of getting through caves and basically anything that required physical prowess, so Victory Road would be no problem for him. Blue rushed down towards Route 22 as fast as he could, but he started to feel sick as he was walking – the battle with Giovanni had been too physically trying and he had to slow down. Blue arrived at Route 22 before long but then began to feel incredibly pained, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on for. Blue put his hand against the wall to try and recuperate, but it wasn’t enough. He then sat down on the grass for a few minutes, but still he felt woozy, so he decided that the best thing to do would be to head back to the Pokémon Center and lie down for a few moments where if he was in serious trouble he’d be able to be looked after properly. He remembered what the old man said, he didn’t want to end his journey now because he pushed himself too hard. Blue turned around to head back to Viridian City, but as he did so he heard a voice.

    “Blue!” came a surprised sounding exclamation, which Blue instantly recognised as Red.
    “What? Red!” exclaimed Blue, mostly to himself, not able to believe that Red had been able to finish his Gym battle that quickly.

    Blue walked over to his rival and stood toe to toe with him. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t feeling well, he wasn’t going to show himself up in front of Red, he couldn’t.

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggcute, Alakazam, Gyarados, Rhyhorn
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Grimer, Aerodactyl
    Blue's Pokédex: 23 Caught, 88 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 8

  13. #418
    Me am stalking bug Instrutilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Nice chapter, though you have two typos in your sig.

    The Compleat Workes of Gastly's Mama

  14. #419
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Instrutilus View Post
    Nice chapter, though you have two typos in your sig.

    The Compleat Workes of Gastly's Mama
    Haha. Thank you. Although the typos are intentional, supposed to sound all ye olde english and all that, you know =P

    Just a sad, little geeky joke. Oh dear, old english jokes, that's when you know you're a literature student >_>

  15. #420
    I'm back Wheels's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Once again great job.


    Props to Instrutilus for the sick banner.

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