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  1. #316
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great chapter. I'm glad you decided to keep going GM! Keep it up!

  2. #317
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great job! Koga was hard to beat in FR/LG, but I'm sure that Blue can beat him on his first try.
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  3. #318
    I'm untouchable Black Knightz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I just read up to Chapter 22, and it has been amazing! Seriously, you have writing talent. I'm looking forward to reading more.

    EDIT: I just finished reading up to what you've finished writing so far, and it just reconfirms what I said above. The story is very fresh and interesting, and makes me wish you posted chapters faster!
    Last edited by Black Knightz; 5th April 2010 at 05:38 PM.
    Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupidity.

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  4. #319
    Now with capital letter Pseudonym's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great Chapter! I'm looking forward to the end of the battle, since Koga still has Muk. Keep on writing!
    The path of a pseudo-champion.

    SuBuWriMo total: 3588 words.

  5. #320
    Is Golden. The Golden Tyranitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Wow.I love the way the gym battles keep getting better and better.
    Very enjoyable.

  6. #321
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Fantastic.
    Swampert_rox



    Thanks to Emi-chan and Blazaking EX for the banner!

  7. #322
    Back on Track BlueRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    This is beautiful. Inspiring. I totally understand how Blue feels. The only down side was that I didn't hear about this sooner. I had to spend hours reading this because it's so addicting. Keep it up! I spent nearly 11 hours today reading this...
    Check out my fanfic: The Song

    Stop the hate.
    I don't calculate stat values, and I don't care about natures. I catch my Pokemon the way they are. I just play the game normally. If you agree copy & paste this in your sig.

  8. #323
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by SunnyRose7 View Post
    This is beautiful. Inspiring. I totally understand how Blue feels. The only down side was that I didn't hear about this sooner. I had to spend hours reading this because it's so addicting. Keep it up! I spent nearly 11 hours today reading this...
    Wow. I mean seriously, wow. Thank you so much. As I always say, readers like you amaze me, I just can't believe people like my story enough to put that kind of commitment into it. Thank you. While I'm at it, thank you to everyone who reads this, I don't work well without feedback so everyone who posts in this thread genuinely does help keep Rival's Story going!

    Quote Originally Posted by βІǎĊҚ ĶηiĝħŤ View Post
    I just read up to Chapter 22, and it has been amazing! Seriously, you have writing talent. I'm looking forward to reading more.

    EDIT: I just finished reading up to what you've finished writing so far, and it just reconfirms what I said above. The story is very fresh and interesting, and makes me wish you posted chapters faster!
    Ditto to you, well done! Also, I used to post twice a week but I felt I was leaving people behind so I slowed down to once a week. What do people think the ideal frequency of new chapters is?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Tyranitar View Post
    Wow.I love the way the gym battles keep getting better and better.
    Very enjoyable.
    It's great to see you back and thank you so much! I wasn't sure this one was as good as Sabrina, but I'm glad you seem to think so!

    Anyway, without further ado, here is the next chapter!

    Chapter 56

    Blue was scared. He had three Pokémon left and Koga had just one, but numbers meant nothing. Blue didn’t doubt that Koga’s last Pokémon was capable of eliminating his entire team if he didn’t pay enough attention, in fact, he suspected that if he paid only as much attention as he had been paying so far, he would fail at this Gym. Blue couldn’t bear the thought of losing at this stage, after he had come so far – would he even be allowed to request a rematch? He didn’t know what the protocol was for that, either way, it’d be pointless, if he lost against Koga once, why would he win the second time?

    Blue was also excited. He knew that victory was within reach, he just had to make that final push and if he did win, it’d be easy from here on out. Koga was set to be the next member of the Elite Four, which meant he had to be on par with the current Elite Four and superior to all the other Gym Leaders in Kanto. That meant that the remaining two Gym Leaders would be a cakewalk and the Elite Four wouldn’t be much harder than Koga was. If Blue could beat Koga, he could become the Champion, he just had to focus on doing it faster than Red.

    Koga threw his next Poké Ball into the arena, unleashing a gigantic pile of purple slime. Blue recognised it as Grimer’s evolved form, Muk. Blue had his own Grimer and had rejected it from his team, he expected this battle might make him rethink that decision. Blue was past underestimating Gym Leaders based solely on his own experience with Pokémon of the same species as theirs, he was prepared for this disgusting Pokémon to be his most challenging battle to date.

    “Fly!” ordered Blue, pre-empting some hellishly offensive attack.
    “Minimize,” commanded Koga with a smile.

    Blue cursed his premature orders, he had played right into Koga’s hands. Muk shrank to a quarter of its previous size, now resembling a smaller version of Blue’s Grimer, if Blue didn’t know any better he would have labelled this Pokémon a pre-evolution of Grimer rather than an evolution. Muk was able to get in a further Minimize before Pidgeot finished its Fly attack. As Muk was now a fraction of its original size, it was practically impossible for Pidgeot to aim, particularly since it was going at such an incredible speed. Pidgeot instead crashed into the floor, bounced off and fell to the ground.

    “Pidgeot!” yelled Blue, panicking in his concern and unable to think of anything better to say.

    Blue dearly hoped his Pokémon was not unconscious just yet, he doubted Charizard would be able to finish this off by itself and he knew Exeggcute would be much help.

    “Pidgeot!” cried Blue, “Get up and hit it!”

    Just then Blue saw a flicker of life in Pidgeot’s wings, but so did Koga.

    “Finish it!” screamed Koga, clearly worried about the potential damage that Pidgeot could cause.

    Muk started towards Pidgeot as fast as it could, but, owing to its pitiful size, this was not particularly fast. It wasn’t that Muk moved any slower than usual, but that at the same speed it covered a lot less ground. Without clear instructions, Muk was unsure of what to do and just headed towards Pidgeot’s head as fast as it could. It looked like Muk knew what it was going to do, but Blue suspected it didn’t, Blue knew this was an experienced Pokémon, so it would be able to figure something out quickly, but he also knew that it would hesitate for a second before attacking and that would be Blue’s chance. As Muk rapidly approached Pidgeot, Blue timed his command perfectly.

    “Peck!” shouted Blue.

    The second Muk was within range of Pidgeot, the bird Pokémon flung its beak at its repugnant opponent and sent the tiny Pokémon flying. Unfortunately for Blue, as Muk went flying, it unleashed a torrent of Sludge from its mouth, some of it managing to hit Pidgeot. Normally this would have caused a negligible amount of damage that Blue would have paid no attention to, but Pidgeot had a negligible amount of health remaining and the tiny specs of Sludge that landed on it were enough to knock it out. Blue retreated Pidgeot to its Poké Ball with a smile on his face, he knew Pidgeot had done enough, now just as long as Charizard could contribute just as much, he could win this battle. First though, Blue sent out Exeggcute, he knew Exeggcute wouldn’t last long, but he hoped it’d be able to land an accurate Hypnosis, it’d be a huge help to Charizard if it could.

    “Sludge!” ordered Koga, regaining his composure, as soon as Exeggcute was released from its Poké Ball.
    “Hypnosis!” commanded Blue.

    Exeggcute was able execute its attack first, owing to its superior size, but all six of the eggs fired their attacks completely off target and were taken out by Muk’s Sludge in mere seconds.

    ‘Oh well,’ thought Blue, ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained.’

    It wasn’t like Exeggcute would have stood a chance against a Poison type if Blue had saved it for last anyway, this was the way it could’ve been the best help, Blue did the best he could have done, he just got unlucky. Blue had matured somewhat since the start of his adventure, he no longer cursed bad luck, he simply just worked harder to overcome it.

    “Go, Charizard!” shouted Blue, tossing his starter’s Poké Ball out into the arena.

    This was it, it had come down to a one on one, just like almost all of his Gym battles so far had. The huge dragon like Pokémon burst out of its Poké Ball and let out a threatening roar, Blue was so proud of it.

    “Toxic!” ordered Koga.

    One advantage of Muk’s miniscule size was that it took it a long time to reach Charizard, meaning that a counter to its attack could be planned far in advance.

    “Wing Attack!” commanded Blue.

    Blue knew that Wing Attack was likely to miss, but hitting Muk wasn’t his plan. Charizard attempted to hit the tiny sludge Pokémon but missed completely, fortunately however, the flapping of Charizard’s wings caused enough of a gust to send Muk flying back and prevent it from successfully using the Toxic attack.

    “Sludge this time!” shouted Koga desperately.
    “Just keep at it, Charizard,” said Blue coolly.

    Koga continued to try different tacks, but Muk was unable to deal Charizard any damage, although almost every one of Charizard’s Wing Attacks failed to hit the Pokémon, they all blew it away. It was only a matter of time before Charizard did finally hit Muk enough times to knock it out, but it did manage to, making Blue the proud owner of a Soul Badge!

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggcute, Alakazam, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Rhyhorn, Grimer
    Blue's Pokédex: 22 Caught, 78 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 6

  9. #324
    Cuter in real life Iteru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great chapter, though Pidgeot is unable to learn Peck. Just thought I'd mention that.

    For the ideal frequency, I would say two chapters a week. When it is only one, I sometimes forget what happened in the last one.

  10. #325
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Blue is going to breeze through the E4 now. Great chapter, and as for the frequency, I would say twice a week is best.
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  11. #326
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Once again, nice chapter!

    I can't wait for the E4.

  12. #327
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Good chapter. Twice a week is definitely best.
    Swampert_rox



    Thanks to Emi-chan and Blazaking EX for the banner!

  13. #328
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Iteru View Post
    Great chapter, though Pidgeot is unable to learn Peck. Just thought I'd mention that.

    For the ideal frequency, I would say two chapters a week. When it is only one, I sometimes forget what happened in the last one.
    Ahhhhhh game mechanics errors, my eternal foe. Why on earth can Pidgeot not learn Peck? Ah well, I'm not gonna go back and change it.

    And alright, I'll update every 4 days from now on.

    Chapter 57

    “Congratulations, Blue,” said Koga earnestly with a smile after their battle, “Here is the Soul Badge, I can honestly say that you deserve it.”

    Blue accepted the Badge and put it with the rest, he couldn’t hold back an enormous smile.

    “Why are you so happy?” enquired Koga.
    “I just beat a Gym Leader,” answered Blue, “How am I supposed to feel?”
    “I suppose,” retorted Koga, “But I can’t help but feel you are more elated than winning a Gym Badge merits.”
    “Well more than winning any old Gym Badge merits, yeah,” explained Blue, “But not this one. You’re gonna be the next Elite Four, right?”
    “Correct,” conceded Koga, “So why does that make you value my Badge so highly?”
    “You must be the best Gym Leader,” replied Blue, feeling like he was explaining things to a simpleton, “You must be as good as, or almost as good as the rest of the Elite Four. If I can beat you, I can beat any Gym Leader and, with time, I can probably beat the Elite Four too!”
    “That’s a nice idea, Blue,” stated Koga solemnly, “But I have a lot of training to do before I match up to anywhere near the Elite Four, so you are faulted in that logic.”
    “Fine,” replied Blue, now growing rather impatient, “But you’re still the best Gym Leader, I only have two left and they’re surely gonna be easier to beat than you.”
    “Haven’t you considered, Blue,” remarked Koga, “That there may be reasons other than inferior skill for being passed over?”

    Blue stood silently, he had not considered this and he was very curious to find out what these reasons may be.

    “It’s true that I’m a far better trainer than Brock, Misty or Erika, yes,” explained Koga, “And I believe I am considered superior also to Surge. Sabrina is widely considered my equal, she was also offered a place in the Elite Four, but she turned it down, saying she would prefer to remain in her Gym, she suggested one of her colleagues, but I was more qualified, so he was passed over. The other two Gym Leaders in Kanto, who I notice from your Badge collection you have not beaten, are Blaine and Giovanni.”

    Blue knew the name Giovanni, he was the Ground type specialist in charge of Viridian City Gym, the one who was never around, the one who should have been Blue’s first Gym challenge. Blue was starting to reconsider his wish that this man had been his first Gym challenge, it sounded as if Koga was about to praise him as one of the finest Trainers ever to have walked the earth. Blue had struggled against Koga now, he didn’t want to think about how he would have fared against his superior with just one Pokémon, who was almost completely untrained and weak to the Ground type. Blue had never even heard the name Blaine in passing before, but that wasn’t that strange, the only Gym Leader he’d heard of prior to the beginning of his journey had been Giovanni and that was only because he was the closest one to his home.

    “Are Blaine and Giovanni better trainers than you?” asked Blue, “Or do the League think that at least.”
    “The League do think that,” replied Koga, “And they are right, they are both far superior Trainers to I.”
    “Then why weren’t they asked to be in the Elite Four?” enquired Blue in total puzzlement, in his opinion, being a good Trainer was all it took to make someone eligible for such a position.
    “Well, let’s just say that Blaine is a few cards short of a full deck,” explained Koga tactfully, “And Giovanni has… other commitments.”

    Blue nodded, but still didn’t understand.

    “You’ll see what I mean when you meet them,” assured Koga, “I don’t want to badmouth my colleagues, I could face complete removal from the League if I do that – even from my position as Gym Leader, my promotion is far from completely certain at the moment, I don’t want to jeopardise it, losing to you is bad enough.”
    “You’d lose your promotion because you lost to me?” asked Blue.
    “I doubt it,” replied Koga, “But it could be used if they wanted to get rid of me.”

    Blue didn’t reply, he simply looked at Koga, waiting for him to continue speaking, he was entranced by this man’s knowledge.

    “I guess you’ll see what I mean about them soon enough though,” continued Koga, “You’ll be challenging both Blaine and Giovanni fairly soon, correct?”
    “That’s right!” replied Blue enthusiastically, “Challenging and beating!”
    “I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you, Blue,” chided Koga, “These are incredible men we are talking about. You will rue that confidence when you come face to face with each of them.”
    “If I ever do!” complained Blue, “I don’t know if Giovanni will ever be in his Gym again!”
    “Well, if he isn’t, I’m sure the League will appoint a new Gym Leader,” answered Koga, “But I have reason to believe he’ll return to his position soon enough. He may even be there now, but I strongly suggest you challenge Blaine first, if you want to have half a chance of beating Giovanni, you’ll need all the practice you can get.”
    “Thanks,” replied Blue, “I’d best be off, I’m eager to beat the Elite Four!”
    “I like you, Blue,” answered Koga, “You are determined and you have the spirit of a battler. You’ll go far in this world, I don’t know if you will defeat Giovanni or even Blaine, let alone the Elite Four, but I do know that you have potential. I want to do what I can to help you on your journey, so I have something for you.”

    Blue stood confused as Koga extended his hand, as if he was passing something in spite of the fact that his hand was completely empty.

    “What?” asked Blue in bewilderment.
    “It’s a copy of TM06 which can teach a Pokémon the move Toxic,” explained Koga, “I’m sure you know what this move does.”
    “Yeah,” replied Blue, “I know, but there’s nothing in your hand.”

    Koga smiled at Blue and, seemingly without Koga moving whatsoever, a purple disc appeared in the man’s hand.

    “Go on,” encouraged Koga, “Take it.”

    Blue excitedly took the TM and placed it in his bag with the others, so that he could decide who to teach the move to later.

    “Thanks a lot!” exclaimed Blue excitedly, “This’ll be a great help in defeating my rival!”
    “You have a rival?” enquired Koga.
    “Yeah,” answered Blue, getting aggravated at the sheer mention of Red, “He’s a real jerk, I hate him.”
    “Hm,” postulated Koga, “If he is skilful enough to defeat him, I will have to award him with a TM also.”
    “What?!” yelled Blue in outrage, “Why? I thought you liked me!”
    “I do,” explained Koga, “That is why I must give your rival the same help I give you. I cannot let you get ahead unless it is based on your merits or his failings, now I suggest you get going, if you slow down your rival might catch up with you.”

    Blue left the Fuchsia City Gym in a huff, but really he had profited, he had earned both the Soul Badge and a new TM!

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggcute, Alakazam, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Rhyhorn, Grimer
    Blue's Pokédex: 22 Caught, 78 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 6
    Last edited by Gama; 20th April 2010 at 03:26 AM.

  14. #329
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Nice chapter. Blue sure is cheerful.

  15. #330
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Blaine is a few cards short of a full deck...
    Well, that explains his obsession with riddles. Blue was uncharacteristically (did I spell that right?) happy this chapter.
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

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