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  1. #271
    Cuter in real life Iteru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I dunno, it just seems cheap. It's been established that the scientist won't cheat, so it's disapointing that Blue does. Especially as Blue respects the scientist, surely he would want to prove that he is worthy of the Oak name without cheating/fleeing? Blue's revenge just doesn't seem as epic anymore. I think it would have been easier to understand if items had been featured more.

  2. #272
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Gastly's Mama View Post
    I was trying to indicate that it learnt a new move - that was the best way I could think of doing it.
    If you delete the old move with a new move, the Pokemon will use the new move if you chose to have it use the old move, so this is fairly accurate.
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

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  3. #273
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Gastly's Mama View Post
    Yes
    Scientist Ted or Jose, right?
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

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  4. #274
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Iteru View Post
    I dunno, it just seems cheap. It's been established that the scientist won't cheat, so it's disapointing that Blue does. Especially as Blue respects the scientist, surely he would want to prove that he is worthy of the Oak name without cheating/fleeing? Blue's revenge just doesn't seem as epic anymore. I think it would have been easier to understand if items had been featured more.
    Killing a Pokemon isn't cheating?
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  5. #275
    Registered User revolvingscott's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    ^ Triple posting is so n00bish and against the rules.

    @Gastly, up to Chapter 18 and you've already improved since the beginning. Can't wait to see all the improvements you'll have made by now! (Full review coming in a week or so).

  6. #276
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimori-Hinoarashi View Post
    Scientist Ted or Jose, right?
    Jose is correct, but in the end I didn't like the name, so in this fic he will always be known as 'The Scientist' and nothing else, I think it's a bit more sinister anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by revolvingscott View Post
    ^ Triple posting is so n00bish and against the rules.

    @Gastly, up to Chapter 18 and you've already improved since the beginning. Can't wait to see all the improvements you'll have made by now! (Full review coming in a week or so).
    I look forward to it, my good man.

  7. #277
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Oh jeez, I can't believe I let this get to the second page. I'm sorry, people, here's another chapter and I'll put the next one out early next week.

    Chapter 47

    Blue looked at his unconscious Pokémon in utter confusion, he didn’t understand what had happened. In the time that Blue spent looking at the ground in confusion and dismay, the Scientist had already sent out his next Pokémon. The Scientist’s Electrode began rolling across the room, but it was not moving towards Blue. Blue didn’t pay attention to what it was doing because he was still trying to figure out what had happened to Gyarados.

    “That was stupid,” sneered the Scientist, “Live in the now.”
    “I am!” retorted Blue, “I don’t want to fall into the same trap again!”
    “Destiny Bond,” stated the Scientist with an air of superiority, “I had Weezing use it just before it fainted, it meant that if Gyarados knocked Weezing out, Gyarados itself would be knocked it. It appears to have been a worthy investment, don’t you think?”

    Blue simply scowled in response.

    “Well, anyway,” continued the Scientist, apparently not expecting any kind of input from Blue, “While you were busy investigating your unconscious Pokémon, I had Electrode here retrieve my Reliever.”
    “Reliever?” questioned Blue, although he was pretty sure what the ‘Reliever’ was.
    “Yes,” smiled the Scientist, raising his right hand which contained the healing gun, “The Reliever, my own personal invention.”

    Blue hoped the Scientist considered himself too much of a gentleman to use the Reliever, if he didn’t, all hope was surely lost. To Blue’s delight, the Scientist simply returned it to his jacket, presumably meaning he did not intend to use it. Of course, with Blue’s delight, came shame, he had cheated in order to pull one over on this man, was he that inferior to him? Anyway, there was no time for thoughts like that now, Blue had a battle to win. Blue thought about his remaining Pokémon, Pidgeot, Charizard and Exeggcute. Exeggcute was the only one that wasn’t weak to Electrode, but it was unevolved – things weren’t looking good, in spite of the fact that Blue had the numbers advantage. Blue did what he thought best and sent Exeggcute out, if Electrode was going to use Explosion, he may as well get it out of the way. Blue was sure that if he sent out one of the others, Electrode would save its Explosion for later.

    Blue thought about it and decided that he was ready for an Explosion now, he sent out Exeggcute and had his hand on Pidgeot’s Poké Ball, ready to send it out and immediately order a Quick Attack, to rob Electrode of its single remaining hit point when it did use Explosion, and therefore winning Blue the battle. Exeggcute burst out of its Poké Ball and awaited instruction, but instructions did not come. The Scientist, Blue, Electrode and Exeggcute stood in silence, each one looking towards their opponent. Blue was scared, but determined not to show it. The Scientist was staring at Blue with a totally blank face, but with a smile slowly creeping on to his face.

    “Explosion,” ordered the Scientist simply.

    Blue laughed in glee, he had won. He sent out Pidgeot on to the field before he even bothered to retreat Exeggcute and immediately ordered a Quick Attack. Pidgeot carried out this move before the smoke had even cleared and Blue knew that he had won the battle, the only problem was he hadn’t won the battle at all.

    When the smoke cleared, Electrode was there barely injured and the Scientist was smiling with the Reliever in his hand.

    “I’m a gentleman battler, Blue,” explained the Scientist, pre-empting Blue’s question, “But if my opponent cheats, I’ll level the playing field.”

    Blue had allowed his Pokémon to faint and even lost battles before because he had found himself lost in thought, but he knew that if he let that happen this time, he was finished, he might not ever be able to battle again. Blue reacted instantly, giving Pidgeot the order that he knew was necessary.

    “Grab the Reliever!” shouted Blue, while the Scientist was still smugly waiting for Blue’s reaction to his statement.

    Pidgeot moved faster than the Scientist could retract his arm and grabbed the Reliever. This was good, but Blue knew what was going to happen next.

    “Fly as high as you can, Pidgeot!” yelled Blue, with his hand on his next Poké Ball.
    “Shock Wave!” ordered the Scientist furiously.

    Pidgeot flew into the air, but was hit by Electrode’s Shock Wave before getting high enough to do anything useful. Pidgeot was immediately knocked out by the attack and dropped the Reliever. Blue sent out Charizard and had his starter fly towards Electrode. Expecting Blue to have Charizard grab the Reliever in the air, the Scientist ordered another Shock Wave from Electrode. However, Blue was expecting the Scientist’s expectation and planned for that, instead Blue jumped on to Charizard’s back and leapt off in time to grab the Reliever. Charizard was hit by the Shock Wave as Blue jumped off his back, but Blue immediately pointed the Reliever and restored it to full health. Blue then withdrew Charizard and sent out the unconscious Exeggcute, healing it with the Reliever as he did so.

    “You appear to be quite the marksman,” stated the Scientist coolly, in spite of the rage building up inside him, “It’s a shame you’re not half as good as battling or raising Pokémon competently.”

    This comment hurt Blue, but he knew that winning, even if it was with cheating, would still be a huge victory. Particularly since the Scientist had admitted that he intended to cheat just as much as Blue did, Blue was just better at it. That said, Blue hadn’t won yet, it was still going to be a struggle… or so he thought.

    “Explosion!” yelled the Scientist.

    Electrode immediately obeyed, knocking out both itself and Exeggcute.

    “I want this farce of a battle done with as soon as possible,” snapped the Scientist, clearly aggravated, “If you’re planning on taking down Team Rocket, the Boss’s room can be accessed through the Teleport pad in this room, you won’t beat him.”

    Blue just smiled, he had won his dignity back, now he just needed to beat Red. His intention had been to take out the Scientist and then head to Fuchsia, Cinnabar and Viridian to get his final three Badges, he didn’t want Red getting ahead of him on that front, but once again, Blue’s pride changed his plans. He didn’t want someone’s opinion of him to go down, the Scientist expected him to take on Boss Rocket, so that meant he had to. Blue used the Reliever to heal his Pokémon, then ran up to the Teleport pad the Scientist had pointed out.

    “Here!” yelled Blue, tossing the Scientist the Reliever, “I don’t need this any more, have your fun with it!”

    Of course Blue would come to regret that action a huge amount over the remainder of his adventure, but for now, it just made him feel like even more of a man.

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggcute, Alakazam, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout
    Blue's Pokédex: 21 Caught, 77 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 5
    Last edited by Gama; 27th March 2010 at 01:28 PM.

  8. #278
    22 DoubleDeuce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I joined the forums because of this. Over the past couple of days, I've read it. While the beginning was sort of bland and without description, it's gotten considerably better. Keep it up :)

  9. #279
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Well, Blue is definitely to dumb to live now. Let's take on the big boss alone without this epic new invention. Yeah, good plan.

    Red is going to crush him in the next chapter.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  10. #280
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    As usual, a good chapter.
    Swampert_rox



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  11. #281
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by DoubleDeuce View Post
    I joined the forums because of this. Over the past couple of days, I've read it. While the beginning was sort of bland and without description, it's gotten considerably better. Keep it up :)
    Wow, that's quite the compliment, I can't believe you joined the forums because of my story! Glad to hear it, well, here's another chapter -

    Chapter 48

    After stepping on the Teleport pad, Blue felt the familiar confusion of the room around him changing while he himself remained completely motionless, in this new room there was a man looking rather terrified.

    “Are you a Rocket?” asked the man fearfully.
    “No!” snapped Blue, “Do I look like a Rocket?”
    “Y-yes,” stammered the man, pointing out Blue’s Rocket uniform.
    “Oh,” replied Blue, “My bad entirely.”

    Blue began changing into his regular clothes as the man continued talking to him.

    “So are you the kid here to save us?” asked the man with cautious optimism, “I heard there was a kid wandering through our building taking out Team Rocket.”

    Blue was delighted that his reputation had preceded him, even though he had only taken out two Rockets since entering the building.

    “You’ve heard of me then?” answered Blue with a huge smile.
    “Yes,” replied the man, who was presumably a Silph employee, now becoming more and more confident, “But you sure do change clothes a lot.”

    Blue was entirely confused by this comment, all he’d done was change into his uniform and out again, that was hardly enough to justify that comment.

    “What do you mean?” questioned Blue in genuine confusion.
    “Well,” explained the Silph employee, “I heard you wore a baseball cap and a sleeveless jacket, everyone was saying that was how you could recognise the kid who was saving Silph.”

    The smile suddenly dropped from Blue’s face as he realised what was happening, they hadn’t been talking about Blue at all, Blue had been ignored, he had been overshadowed by this other hero. Blue could have dealt with that, but what he couldn’t deal with was the possibility that this anonymous hero was Red and by the sounds of it, he was.

    “What’s this guy’s name?” demanded Blue.
    “I, I thought you said it was you?” replied the employee in utter bewilderment.
    “I thought you were talking about me,” explained Blue, “Now tell me, what the hell is this guy’s name?”
    “I don’t know!” yelled the employee in unadulterated terror, “They just told me what he looks like! No one knows his name!”

    Blue was silent for a moment as he thought over what to do. If the Scientist was telling the truth and it was through here to get to Boss Rocket then Red would have to come through this way sooner or later, so this would be the best place to stick around and wait for Red. Once seeing Red, Blue could do one of two things, he could suggest them teaming up and taking on Boss Rocket or he could battle him. The former was probably the more sensible, Blue was terrified of Boss Rocket, a man who the Scientist recognised as his superior was sure to be a horribly scary man, but Blue simply could not stand the thought of any kind of unity with Red, particularly after the latest humiliation he had suffered at his rival’s hands. So Blue decided he would go with the latter option, if he could humiliate Silph’s hero in front of a Silph employee, Blue would become the new legend of Silph, he might even be able to get away with not battling Boss Rocket, but he decided he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

    “Does this room lead to Boss Rocket?” demanded Blue of the Silph employee.
    “I believe so,” answered the employee, “It leads to the Chairman’s office and, if the rumours are true, that’s where Boss Rocket is right now, him and his cronies are bullying the chairman into surrendering Silph Co. and our findings to Team Rocket.”
    “Is there any other way into that room?” demanded Blue.
    “No,” answered the employee, “The Teleport pad in this room is the only way to reach the Chairman’s office, if you take the elevator, you can’t get in. The Chairman is very paranoid and apparently, rightly so and unfortunately, his cautious paranoia wasn’t enough to stop Team Rocket.”
    “Alright,” stated Blue.

    Blue walked away from the employee and stood against another one of the wall’s in the room.

    “What are you doing?” asked the employee, “Aren’t you going to take out Boss Rocket?”
    “No,” answered Blue, “Well, maybe later, we’ll see.”

    The employee didn’t ask anything else, he appeared to be to scared to, he reverted to cowering with his back pressed hard against the wall and Blue ceased making eye contact with the pathetic man. Blue was resting against the wall for a few minutes before a flash of light filled the room and his nemesis appeared on the teleportation pad.

    “Blue!” exclaimed Red, he appeared to be genuinely shocked.
    “What kept you, Red?” gloated Blue, trying as hard as he could to give off a sense of superiority – he didn’t think Red was buying it though, Blue paused, gave a fake laugh and continued, “I thought you’d turn up if I waited around here!”
    “Y- you got here before me?” stammered Red meekly, he seemed genuinely belittled, “I, I didn’t think I’d see you here… I thought I’d overtaken you…”

    Blue was outraged at the idea that Red might have overtaken him. Blue suspected Red had fewer Badges and took this opportunity to prove it, he opened up one side of his jacket and flashed his five Badges proudly. Red looked to the Badges, slowly counted them and hung his head in shame.

    “I’ve only got four,” admitted Red sadly.
    “I guess Team Rocket slowed you down!” boasted Blue, now becoming genuinely pleased with himself, he then rethought what he had just said and considered that it may have been misconstrued as sympathy and thus continued in order to ensure this was not the case, “Not that I care!”

    Red paused for a moment, saying nothing, Blue’s words appeared to finally have gotten to him.

    “Why were you waiting around here anyway?” challenged Red, getting a bit more confident, “You hear about me taking down all of Team Rocket and wanted to see if it was true?”

    Blue realised the folly in what he had said and shook his head defensively in immediate response to this statement.

    “I saw you in Saffron!” exclaimed Blue.
    “So…” demanded Red.
    “So I decided to see if you got better!” retorted Blue with a smile.
    “A battle then?” propositioned Red, also smiling, “And worry about the Boss later?”

    Blue nodded with a gigantic smile on his face, but it was all a show, on the inside, he was terrified. When had Red started to instil this sort of fear in him? He wasn’t scared of what Red would do to him, he was just scared of the humiliation it would cause, he’d already lost against Red enough times, he didn’t think he could stand one more loss. Why couldn’t he win?

    Blue's Team: Charizard, Pidgeot, Exeggcute, Alakazam, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout
    Blue's Pokédex: 21 Caught, 77 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 5

  12. #282
    Lighting Things on Fire Sarcastically Insane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    OH NO THE WORLD'S BIGGEST CORPORATION IS BEING ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS! HELP!

    Blue: Hell no! I've got a childish grudge!

    ^That's what was running though my head when I read this, not that it's bad- it just made me LOL.
    Currently writing Hoenn Wars, a Travelsverse fic that needs no prior Travelsverse knowledge to understand. Chapter Seven, Sacrifice, is up.



    That's interesting; I might have a look when I have the time. Thanks!

    EDIT: Oh my god, these are too many links! Very specific...
    ^Someone's first impression of TVTropes.

  13. #283
    Now with capital letter Pseudonym's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I've been keeping track of this story and it's amazingly good. One begins reading and cannot stop until the chapter is finished. You've really got talent for this, GM. Keep on writing!
    The path of a pseudo-champion.

    SuBuWriMo total: 3588 words.

  14. #284
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I would've evolved Exeggcute before battling Red. Blue's going to freak out when he loses.
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  15. #285
    Rev
    Rev is offline
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Literally read ALL of this today :L, I think its great seeing it all from Blue's side, and how his actions have effects on how Red goes through the game. Also, Red is such a douche :D.
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