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  1. #151
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Hahahahaha! Well thought out! Clever and it explains so much. I thought Raticate died. Ha! Great work!

    ...

    This still doesn't explain Exeggcute, but I suppose now Blue might actually make it to Fuschia before Red makes it to Lavender. Red's probably lost in Rock Tunnel now.

    Great chapter. I am intrigued to figure out why Blue is in Lavender Town. You use in game text for battles... but Blue was in the tower catching a cubone...

    Huh... intriguing.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  2. #152
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Lol at ending. :D

    It all depends on the delivery. The main problem is, at the end of the day, Leaf is a main character, which is where she differs from Blue, so if the point of the story is "Oh look it's Leaf instead of Red", it probably won't be a very interesting story, but if you think you can tell it in a way that is unique and really adds something to the original story, I say go for it! And even if you are in doubt over whether you can do that, go for it anyway, it never hurts to try, post a link to it here or put it in your sig and I'll be sure to have a look at it if you do decide to write it. Best of luck!
    Thanks for the tip! Now what would be a good name for it, if I ever decide to do it?
    Last edited by SSJ3_Raditz; 13th November 2009 at 02:31 AM. Reason: something

  3. #153
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Ack! Second page! I can only apologise for the growing infrequency of my posts. As I've said, I've entered NaNoWriMo (JFGI) so I don't have a lot of spare time for writing on my hands, normal service will resume in December. Also, I had an essay due in this week that was pretty important, so I'm also behind on NaNoWriMo, but today I don't have any lectures so I'm going to try and catch up with both - here it goes!

    Quote Originally Posted by SSJ3_Raditz View Post
    Thanks for the tip! Now what would be a good name for it, if I ever decide to do it?
    It really depends on what kind of story it's going to be tbh, something involving Leaf's name would probably be a bad idea because it won't be attention grabbing. Having her as the main character probably won't make it much more interesting. That said, journeyfics always tend to be from a boy's point of view, so it'd probably be interesting to see a girl's one. Especially if it isn't a stereotype.

    Oh, and before you tell me, I'm aware that my game mechanics are a tad inaccurate in this chapter, but I don't care.

    Chapter 29

    Within five minutes of entering Saffron City Gym, Blue got very angry. He had one hour to leave town and he’d spent ten to fifteen minutes walking here and trading one of his Pokémon for a Fly HM assuming that he’d be able to walk into the Gym and challenge the Gym Leader, like he had been able to with Brock and Misty, but it appeared that this was going to be a repeat of the Vermilion City Gym, Blue just hoped that the similarity in difficulty reaching the Gym Leader reflected how well he got on with the Gym Leader.

    That is if he ever reached the Gym Leader. Blue assumed this was a puzzle, but perhaps this Gym had simply been shut down. He was in a tiny room with no one else in it that was just large enough to have a battle in it, but the Gym was so much bigger on the outside; it seemed pointless to have such a tiny room. Blue scanned the room and saw that there was very little in the room, not even a trash can which he could search for a switch, all that was in the room was a tiny white tile on the floor about the size of Blue’s feet. Perhaps standing on it would trigger a switch and open the door.

    Blue walked forward and stamped on the tile, the room flashed white for a second and then suddenly, Blue was hurled to the floor and left feeling rather queasy.

    “You alright there?” asked a voice.

    Blue was confounded by this, there had been no one in the room before and no one had entered the room. Had this person just teleported into the room?

    “No,” continued the voice, “You just teleported into the room.”
    “Did you just read my mind?” asked Blue in shock, “And what do you mean I teleported? What the hell is going on?”
    “One question at a time please,” answered the speaker.

    As Blue picked himself up from the floor he got a better look at the speaker. It was a young man wearing black with purple hair, what a strange outfit. But what was stranger was that his arms were extended and Poké Balls were floating on either side of him.

    “How are you doing that?” demanded Blue, “What is this place?”
    “This is Saffron City Gym,” answered the man, “We specialise in Psychic types here. Everyone in this Gym has Psychic powers. This Poké Ball is floating through simple levitation. Yes, I did just read your mind through simple telekinesis. You teleported into this room by stepping on a teleportation pad, which is how we navigate the Gym. Simple really.”

    Blue took an instant disliking to this guy. In Blue’s opinion, levitation, telekinesis and teleportation were not simple things and he did not appreciate being talked down to. Blue knew he could embarrass this guy in a battle, he didn’t stand a chance.

    “By all means,” said the Psychic.

    Blue forgot that he could read his mind. And hated him even more for it.

    The Psychic opened with a Slowpoke. Blue responded by sending out Kadabra, Shock Wave would deal with that thing pretty quickly.

    “Light Screen,” ordered the Psychic, at the same time as Blue ordered the Shock Wave.

    The effect of the Light Screen coupled with Slowpoke’s superiority in terms of levels meant that the Shock Wave did a lot less damage than Blue had hoped.

    “You’re in a bit of a bind,” stated the Psychic, “You see, the reason I was able to counter your move so perfectly was because, in case you haven’t forgotten, I can read your mind. Your tactics are no longer personal.”

    That was pretty bad, but then again, there’s only so much you can do with a Slowpoke, Blue felt this battle was definitely possible to win and started to order a second Shock Wave, but before he could do so, the Psychic spoke again.

    “Yawn,” ordered the Psychic.

    Blue begrudgingly withdrew Kadabra, he’d probably be better off with a Pokémon that uses physical attacks anyway. Charmeleon was a poor choice against a Water
    Type, Pidgeotto was a possibility but Gyarados’ Bite attack filled the criteria of both being a physical attack and being super effective against Slowpoke. Perfect.

    Predictably, even with the help of its Trainer’s telekinesis, Slowpoke did not last long against Gyarados’ ferocious Bite attack. In fact, it fell very quickly indeed.

    ‘How’s that telekinesis going for you now?’ thought Blue.
    “Shut up,” replied the Psychic.

    The Psychic’s second Pokémon was a second Slowpoke, Blue thought this ridiculous and noticed that either the Psychic’s telekinesis had gone off or he had chosen to ignore this remark. This battle went very much the same as the first one and the Psychic’s telekinesis turned out to help very little once again. His third and final Pokémon was a Slowbro, not much more challenging than its fallen comrades, Blue soon dealt with this too and was on his way.

    Blue felt smug leaving this guy behind, but in his aimless teleporting around the Gym he was forced to pass him a subsequent six times, which made his grand exit a lot less dramatic. Not only that but he was forced to battle three other Psychics who were carbon copies of this first guy in both appearance and personality. He also had to battle strange women who shrieked about ghosts and called themselves ‘Chanellers’ and, as the first Psychic had told Blue, they could all read his mind, but like with the first Psychic, this was not a problem, their Pokémon were dealt with fairly easily.

    After an unreal amount of time teleporting back and forth through the rooms he had already been through, Blue eventually arrived in a room that looked just like the first one, at first he thought he had somehow made it all the way back to the entrance of the Gym and was considering leaving, perhaps he wasn’t meant to get this Badge.

    “Don’t leave yet, Blue,” came an eerily calm, female voice, “You’re still ahead of Red, don’t let him overtake you now.”

    Blue looked up to see a surprisingly young woman with long, dark hair, wearing all purple, presumably she was the Gym Leader. Blue felt annoyed that the thing she picked out of his mind was his hatred for Red, but he had to admit that it was probably one of the things he thought about the most. Every second thing that Blue thought seemed to be about Red.

    “I’m Sabrina, thank you for an exhilarating battle,” continued the Leader.

    It was going to take a while for Blue to get used to this whole telekinetic thing.

    Blue's Team: Charmeleon, Pidgeotto, Kadabra, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout
    Blue's Pokédex: 16 Caught, 59 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 3

  4. #154
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    LOL.

    That's all I have to say. Because this chapter is just so funny.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  5. #155
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great story! It explains so much about the games! I just finished it. I thought that Blue would catch a Snorlax and release it onto the route when it kept on falling asleep. When's the next chapter? Probably not for a week...
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  6. #156
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Great chapter, looking forward to more.
    Swampert_rox



    Thanks to Emi-chan and Blazaking EX for the banner!

  7. #157
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimori-Hinoarashi View Post
    Great story! It explains so much about the games! I just finished it. I thought that Blue would catch a Snorlax and release it onto the route when it kept on falling asleep. When's the next chapter? Probably not for a week...
    That's right, I'm afraid, I think it'll be approximately a week before the next chapter. But, as I've said a few times, that's because I'm doing NaNoWriMo, so when November's over I'll try to get back to releasing a chapter every three or four days.

  8. #158
    so i herd u liek treakos? Kimori-Hinoarashi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Yay! Will Blue go to the Safari Zone next?
    Read my Fanfic! Chapter 30 posted! A Legendary Journey is now on indefinite hiatus, but I am starting a new fic in Unova called eNsnared.

    Thanks to cledispop for my Avatar!

  9. #159
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimori-Hinoarashi View Post
    Yay! Will Blue go to the Safari Zone next?
    I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see like everyone else.

    This isn't a chapter update, but I just thought I'd let all of you people know that I've successfully completed the NaNoWriMo challenge and I've written 50,000 words in one month! To put that into perspective for you, Rival's Story is 35,000 words so far and I've been working on that for almost six months. Anyway, I'll post another chapter in a few days time and I'll have a go at getting a bit more regular again after that.

  10. #160
    Cuter in real life Iteru's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    ^ Good luck with your entry :)

    I'm really enjoying Rival's Story so far, can't wait for the next chapter.

  11. #161
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Alright, people, I have good news, very good news and bad news, which do you want first? Obviously I'm not gonna wait for replies so just read the below headings in your preferred order:


    Good News
    I'm posting a new chapter!


    Very Good News
    Now that National Novel Writing Month is over, I should be getting more regular! Happy day!


    Bad News
    I just realised, that in spite of my originality in the order that Blue faces the Gyms of Kanto, it is actually the same order that Ash Ketchum does so. Damn you, Ash Ketchum, I thought my hate for you was already insurmountable. Apparently not.


    Anyhoo, unpleasantries aside, here is the new chapter!!! Happy day!!!


    Chapter 30

    Blue decided that if Sabrina was indeed telekinetic that he didn’t need to bother with the formality of talking to her, he could simply let his thoughts do the talking.

    After careful consideration, Blue decided that his best bet would be to open with Pidgeotto. Sabrina smiled in response and sent out her first Pokémon, Kadabra. Blue ordered Pidgeotto to open with a Wing Attack. Curiously, Sabrina did not give Kadabra an order.

    Pidgeotto flew in for the Aerial Ace and, in spite of not having been given an order, Kadabra Teleported out of the way and Pidgeotto ended up painfully hitting the floor. Blue screamed in frustration.

    “Don’t assume that because I have said nothing I have not given my Pokémon orders,” stated Sabrina serenely with a superior smile.

    Blue realised then that she was using her psychic abilities to give Kadabra orders, meaning that she didn’t even have to vocalise what her Pokémon was going to do. This put Blue at a distinct disadvantage. Then Blue had another thought, if Sabrina had used her telekinesis to read Blue’s mind earlier and she was willing to use it in battle now, was there any reason why she couldn’t simply see what Blue was thinking before he vocalised it? Was it possible that even if Blue was able to give orders without ordering them, Sabrina would still be able to hear them?

    “Yes,” replied Sabrina to Blue’s thoughts, “That’s definitely possible. I’d say probable.”

    Blue was furious. This was not a fair battle. A battle relied on the skills of a Trainer’s Pokémon.

    “If battling tests only the skills of your Pokémon then surely they should be wearing your three Gym Badges instead of you?” challenged Sabrina, “Battling tests how well you use your Pokémon and I use them particularly well thanks to my telekinetic abilities.”

    Blue inwardly conceded that she was right. Of course, by inwardly conceding this, he openly conceded it to Sabrina, he had no privacy now. All that meant was he had to give this battle his all – he had to bring his game so high that even Sabrina knowing what he was thinking wouldn’t get in the way of his victory. Blue wondered how Red would fare against this Gym Leader, he also wondered if Red would ever get here and if he did, how long it would take him.

    “Get your head in the game!” snapped Sabrina as Kadabra hit Pidgeotto with a beam of rainbow light, knocking the bird Pokémon to the ground.

    “Pidgeotto!” commanded Blue, “Sand Attack!”

    Just as had happened with the Wing Attack, Kadabra Teleported out of the way of the attack and reappeared behind Pidgeotto without so much as a nod from Kadabra. Then Blue had an excellent idea, the fact that he had this idea meant that Sabrina knew what this idea was, but it didn’t matter because there was nothing she could do about it. The plan was simple, Pidgeotto was to do nothing. At first Sabrina responded by having Kadabra do nothing, knowing what Blue’s plan was, but then she grew impatient, knowing that Blue was not going to attack until she did. Sure enough, Kadabra launched another Psybeam, all according to Blue’s plan.

    Blue’s plan hinged upon the fact that Pidgeotto’s Quick Attack was faster than Kadabra’s Psybeam and that Blue could see Kadabra preparing to use Psybeam because its spoon lit up.

    “Quick Attack then Sand Attack!” yelled Blue, the second he saw the spoon light up in the giveaway rainbow colours.

    Since Kadabra was incapable of using two attacks at once and Pidgeotto’s Quick Attack was much faster than Kadabra’s Psybeam, Pidgeotto successfully landed its first attack on Kadabra, knocking the frail Pokémon to the floor, while it had high protection against special attacks, physical attacks dealt it a huge amount of damage. Pidgeotto then proceeded to kick sand into Kadabra’s eyes, reducing its accuracy.

    “Good, Pidgeotto!” encouraged Blue, “The same again!”

    Unfortunately, no sooner had Blue given this command than Pidgeotto had been hit by an attack which seemed to come out of nowhere while Kadabra was still recovering from the Quick Attack/Sand Attack combo that Pidgeotto had just attacked it with. Sabrina started laughing.

    “Do you honestly think that knowing what your plan was I wouldn’t be able to outsmart it?” challenged Sabrina, “You really are even less intelligent than I gave you credit for. You’re a buffoon. Pidgeotto was just hit with Future Sight, an attack that I ordered while your Pokémon was sitting there doing nothing. Also, I hope you realise my Kadabra does not require sight to know exactly where to hit an attack, not only can it sense the whereabouts of its foes, but if it came to it I could tell it where they are telepathically. Don’t you see, Blue? I’m unbeaten and not only that but I’m unbeatable!”

    Kadabra proceeded to hit Pidgeotto with a Psybeam, then another Psybeam and then another, not allowing the Pokémon to recover from the previous before launching another. Predictably, it was not long before Pidgeotto was knocked out. Blue thought carefully about what his next Pokémon was going to be, but then he decided that since Sabrina could read his thoughts, thoughts were the enemy! Blue grabbed a random Pokémon from his belt.

    “Attack!” yelled Blue at the top of his voice, clenching his eyes shut as tight as he could, refusing to look at the Pokémon he had sent out, “Use your most powerful move!”

    Gyarados came flying out of the Poké Ball, flailing wildly – it was using the Thrash attack. Blue opened his eyes, there was no mistaking Gyarados’ roaring, the giant blue serpent didn’t have a hope in hell of retaining its anonymity. Gyarados’ flailing tail hit Kadabra hard and sent it flying to the floor. Unfortunately, Blue knew that this meant that he wouldn’t be able to snap Gyarados out of this frenzy very easily, in which time he could easily be taken advantage of. This new method he had come up with gave him the opportunity to land a single hit on the opponent, but it held huge risks, it meant he couldn’t look out for his Pokémon, if he lost a Pokémon for every time he landed an attack on one of Sabrina’s, he was going to lose this Gym battle in an extraordinary amount of time.

    “That’s correct,” replied Sabrina to Blue’s thoughts, “This isn’t going to work. Many Trainers have thought of that tactic, no one is lucky enough for that to beat me.”

    Gyarados continued to Thrash about, but Kadabra simply Teleported out of the way of the attacks, Gyarados didn’t stop Thrashing until it became too tired to do so, resulting in it becoming weary, confused and subsequently useless. Blue tried to order Gyarados to use Bite, the attack he would have preferred it to use anyway, but it simply bit itself in the tail and then got hit by a Psybeam from Kadabra. Blue realised if he had only used his intelligence in choosing Sabrina rather than trying to use luck, his Pokémon which stood the best chance of defeating Kadabra would not be on its way out. Just as he had done against the first Psychic he had encountered, Blue ordered a Bite attack, hoping that a physical Dark type attack would be enough to take out Kadabra. Kadabra did not move out of the way, it appeared Sabrina wanted to take her chances, she was hoping Gyarados would hurt itself in its confusion again and Kadabra would be able to use another Psybeam. If Gyarados bit itself again, another Psybeam would probably knock out Gyarados, but then a Bite from Gyarados would probably knock out Kadabra, it was all or nothing now.

    Gyarados jeered its head forward, opening its mighty jaws for another Bite attack and Blue prayed that those jaws would close around Kadabra and not around its own tail again. Kadabra’s spoon began glowing all the colours of the rainbow again, but Blue couldn’t see it for long, Gyarados’ jaws closed around the psychic Pokémon, sending it crashing to the floor, knocked out.

    “Humph,” commented Sabrina, “You got lucky. That won’t happen again.”

    Blue's Team: Charmeleon, Pidgeotto, Kadabra, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout
    Blue's Pokédex: 16 Caught, 59 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 3

  12. #162
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Sabrina? She was the cause I stopped playing FireRed because she was too friggin' hard!:bawling:

  13. #163
    Is Golden. The Golden Tyranitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I went away and TWO CHAPTERS WERE POSTED!AW NO!

  14. #164
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Tyranitar View Post
    I went away and TWO CHAPTERS WERE POSTED!AW NO!
    That's what happens and now that NaNoWriMo is over, my former frequency should return. By the way I successfully wrote an entire novel (52,000 words) in a month! And I wrote two chapters of Rival's Story! Happy day!

    Aaaaanyway, I was wondering what you people thought - do you prefer:

    a) Gym battles
    b) Red battles
    c) The chapters in between

    Your answer probably won't affect the story that much, but I'm interested to know. I'll give you a heads up and say that Blue is gonna be battling Sabrina for the next few chapters (I'm thinking 2 more atm)

  15. #165
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I just like long chapters, they have the most entertainment value :D
    Swampert_rox



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