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  1. #136
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Gastlys Mama View Post
    Good guessing, but a fundamental flaw is that it is RED who cures the guards of their thirst, didn't forget that, did you?
    They could get thirsty again...
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  2. #137
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    As always, thank you for your comments, I'm actually really happy that twenty six chapters along the line, people are still interested in my story! It means a lot, seriously.

    I must apologise though, I've entered something called NaNoWriMo, which is short for National Novel Writer's Month. Basically, I've pledged my month of November to writing a 50,000 word novel - more info can be found by clicking that link. Long story short, I'm going to have less time to devote to Rival's Story, thus far, with the exception of my internet drought hiatus and my earlier heavy work load hiatus, I've been keeping up twice a week pretty well, but I think the regularity might drop somewhat through November, but I'll do my best to keep it at at least weekly, and to that end, here is another chapter!

    Chapter 27

    Blue taught Gyarados Surf and headed back towards the Route with the Snorlax on it, Blue apologised to the slumbering giant. Now that Blue had obtained Surf, Snorlax’s presence was probably beneficial, it would stop Red getting to Fuchsia or Lavender while Blue would be able to storm into the lead Badge-wise. Blue vaulted over the fence, just as Maxwell had done, and sent Gyarados out so he could Surf up to Lavender. Blue noted to himself that even if Red had been able to obtain Surf, there was no way he’d jump over a fence, he simply wasn’t agile enough, he could barely jump over the tiny ledges on Route 1 and Blue had seen him fail to climb up them for hours at a time before – a small fence was way out of his league.

    Blue headed into Lavender Town, but didn’t stay there for very long, the only building of interest was the Pokémon Tower, a cemetery for Pokémon, which, since all of Blue’s Pokémon were safely alive, was of absolutely no concern to Blue – not at this time anyway. There was also a Name Rater, but Blue didn’t concern himself with trivial matters like nicknames, so Blue headed straight out of Lavender towards the Underground Path that Maxwell had told him about. As with any route, Blue battled a couple of Trainers and proceeded quickly to the Underground Path that Maxwell had told him about. However, Blue thought that it might first be worth trying his luck getting into Saffron once again, there was always a chance that he’d have an opportunity to slip in under the radar and if he missed that opportunity, who could say how long it would be before he was able to get into Saffron? Sure, he risked being stuck in Saffron until the gates opened, but everyone knows it’s much easier to sneak out of somewhere than to sneak into somewhere. Not only that but Saffron was the biggest city in Kanto, the gates wouldn’t be locked if something interesting wasn’t happening – there was no way Blue would get bored while he was in there.

    Blue walked into the gate house and casually tried to walk through.

    “Excuse me!” piped up the guard, “You can’t come through here! The gate’s closed!”
    “Oh for God’s sake!” shouted Blue, suddenly remembering his rage at not being allowed through when he tried to get in from Cerulean, “What the hell is going on in Saffron?!”
    “Gee, I’m thirsty,” replied the guard, in the exact same way as the first as if she were a robot and not a human capable of holding an intelligible conversation.

    Blue skulked off towards the door dejectedly, he would simply take the Underground Path to Celadon and come back to Saffron whenever the gates happened to open. When Blue reached the door, however, a man wearing a white lab coat with the sleeves cut off burst in, the man had pale skin, jet black hair and dark bags under his bespectacled eyes, he had a superior air about him and a sinister smile that said he knew he was going to get his way. Blue did not wish to cross this man, so stood out of his way immediately and lingered by the door so as to witness as best he could the events that were to follow.

    “Excuse me, miss,” said the sinister man, addressing the guard, “I need to bring some goods through this way, I hope that isn’t a problem.”
    “I’m afraid it is!” objected the woman, much to Blue’s delight, “This gate is closed! No one can come in or out of Saffron!”
    The man chuckled coldly to himself, “Hm, it appears you don’t understand the gravitas of the situation,” he hissed, removing a piece of paper from his inside pocket and passing it over to the guard, “Here I possess written orders from my Boss to take these goods into Saffron City from Lavender Town via Route 8. I’m sure you are aware of who my Boss is, correct?”
    “Uh, I think so,” replied the woman, who had now paled so that her previously rosy skin tone now matched that of the sinister man.
    “You appreciate that he is a man you do not wish to upset then?” continued the sinister man.
    “Y-yes,” replied the woman.
    “Then you consent to my courier, waiting outside, bringing goods in through this way, yes?” continued the sinister man.

    Blue didn’t need to hear any more, he burst out through the doors and sure enough, there stood a simple looking man in a black uniform, a Rocket Grunt, leaning against a trolley with a large crate on it. Clearly the sinister man was a Rocket Scientist and his ‘Boss’ was the leader of Team Rocket, a man who Blue had only ever heard of referred to as ‘Boss Rocket’, but now was not the time to be thinking, time was of the essence if Blue wanted to get into Saffron City. Blue sent out Raticate, who tackled the Grunt to the ground before he even noticed Blue come out of the gate house. Blue stood on the Grunt’s chest and warned him not to send out a Pokémon, but instead to remove his clothes – Blue prayed that the guard in the gate house put up a little more resistance so that Blue had enough time to pull this off. Blue managed to slip the Grunt’s jumper over his own clothes and throw on the uniform gloves and boots, but didn’t have time to change his trousers. He grabbed the hat and made the Grunt run out of the way just as the door began to creak open, really Blue was quite lucky to encounter such a cowardly member of Team Rocket – that is, unless all the Grunts were this cowardly when they were on their own. Either way, Blue managed to slip the hat on just as the Scientist poked his head out of the door.

    The Scientist looked Blue up and down, it was so obvious that he wasn’t a Rocket that it was painful, Blue knew what was about to happen, this man was going to see that Blue wasn’t a Grunt and use his Pokémon to painfully punish him, or worse still, stand him in front of Boss Rocket himself. Blue thought about what the Scientist must be seeing from top to bottom, totally non uniform haircut which the uniform hat failed to fit over, Blue’s black polo shirt poking out from underneath the black jumper, gloves not quite on correctly, no belt at all, blue jeans rather than the uniform black trousers and boots that appeared to be a few sizes too big. The Scientist looked Blue in the eye with a stare that chilled him to the bone, Blue hadn’t been afraid of any of the Gym Leaders he faced, even though it was their profession to be excellent at Pokémon, but this guy gave the impression that he would be absolutely impossible to face up to, he probably wouldn’t even have to send a Pokémon out to defeat Blue in battle.

    “Your uniform is sloppy,” snapped the Scientist, “Once you bring that crate to the Silph building, make yourself scarce! I hate associating with Grunts!”

    Blue was so thankful that the Scientist didn’t guess he was an imposter that he had no idea what to say now, but it was the clear the man awaited a response.

    “Understood, sir,” replied Blue, in an attempt to appease the Scientist.

    Blue simply followed the Scientist through the gate and into Saffron, wheeling the trolley along behind him, saying nothing. At first, Blue tried to remain fixed on the Scientist, but the Scientist kept turning around and telling him to look somewhere else, so instead he tried to follow the Scientist without looking at him, which was not particularly easy.

    Suddenly, Blue heard a voice from up ahead, “Stop! I’m with the International Police!”

    Blue looked up to see a man in plain clothing and with five Poké Balls on his belt, holding a police badge in on hand and a Poké Ball in the other. This was bad, Blue had taken advantage of an opportunity to get into Saffron, but perhaps he would have been a lot safer if he’d just avoided Saffron altogether, but it was too late for that and now Blue was in trouble with the law. Blue wondered whether the fact that he was the famous Professor Oak’s grandson would help his case or if it would simply make them all the more eager to make an example of him. Blue thought that between him and the Scientist, they could probably overpower the police officer, but Blue was less than eager to add resisting arrest to his crimes, just in case they weren’t caught. However, as it happened, Blue didn’t get an opportunity as it turned out the Scientist wasn’t interested in working together – the Scientist sent out a Weezing, in response to which the police officer sent out an Arcanine.

    Arcanine chased the Weezing down, but the Scientist hadn’t sent his Pokémon out to battle, Weezing simply breathed a thick layer of smog out, which clogged both the vision and lungs of Blue and the police officer. The Scientist, on the other hand, had by this point affixed a breathing mask to himself and was able to escape by floating off with his Weezing. Blue collapsed on the floor in a coughing fit, totally unable to think of any kind of escape, but after a few seconds he felt a hand come down on his shoulder.

    “Looks like you’re coming with me.”

    Blue's Team: Charmeleon, Pidgeotto, Raticate, Kadabra, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout
    Blue's Pokédex: 16 Caught, 58 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 3
    Last edited by Gama; 27th March 2010 at 01:28 PM.

  3. #138
    Is Golden. The Golden Tyranitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    !!!
    That was NOT what I was expecting!
    Wow!Breathtaking!MORE!NAO!

  4. #139
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Tyranitar View Post
    !!!
    That was NOT what I was expecting!
    Wow!Breathtaking!MORE!NAO!
    Yaaaaaaay!!!


    With all of Ryuutakesh!'s scarily accurate predictions, I was worrying I was becoming predictable!

  5. #140
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    suddenplottwistthatwasunexpected say what?

    Well, I figured Blue woul go back to Lavender later, but actually getting into Saffron... UNEXPECTED!

    Nice!

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  6. #141
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    We need more, I DEMAND LONGER CHAPTERS!
    Swampert_rox



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  7. #142
    Is Golden. The Golden Tyranitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    The length isn't that bad,is it?

  8. #143
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Tyranitar View Post
    The length isn't that bad,is it?
    I suppose in as much as the chapters definitely vary in length Rox does have a point. The Gym Leader/Red battles tend to be longer, but the chapters in between tend to be a bit on the short side, but that can't be helped, only so much can happen in each chapter!

  9. #144
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    That’s not what I meant (well I guess the chapters are too short but that isn’t what I was saying), I’m saying that as this story is so good it is addicting we need more at once. So instead of two groups of one chapter each week, how about one group of two chapters?
    Swampert_rox



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  10. #145
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Because that kinda goes against the rules of the workshop.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  11. #146
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I'll be waiting for the next chapter....hope it's longer.

    Recently I've been thinking of a fanfic where Leaf is the protagonist instead of Red...good idea?

  12. #147
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryuutakesh! View Post
    Because that kinda goes against the rules of the workshop.
    That's right, you can't post your chapters too close together, but imo, even the minimum amount of time you're meant to allow is waaaay too small (I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I know it's less than twenty four hours, which is what I think the minimum should be) Personally, I refuse to post more often than once every three days.

    Quote Originally Posted by SSJ3_Raditz View Post
    Recently I've been thinking of a fanfic where Leaf is the protagonist instead of Red...good idea?
    It all depends on the delivery. The main problem is, at the end of the day, Leaf is a main character, which is where she differs from Blue, so if the point of the story is "Oh look it's Leaf instead of Red", it probably won't be a very interesting story, but if you think you can tell it in a way that is unique and really adds something to the original story, I say go for it! And even if you are in doubt over whether you can do that, go for it anyway, it never hurts to try, post a link to it here or put it in your sig and I'll be sure to have a look at it if you do decide to write it. Best of luck!

    Anyway, here's another chapter!

    Chapter 28

    Blue was interrogated by the police officer for several hours before it was finally established that he was in fact not a member of Team Rocket and he was given one hour to vacate Saffron City as he did not have the correct documentation to be in there – since the arrival of Team Rocket, Saffron City had become a localised police quarantine, no one was allowed in or out. That meant that Blue absolutely had to get the Saffron City Badge before he left – he might never be allowed in again, Blue’s plan was simple, he would obtain the Badge and then leave and hopefully he’d be able to gather all of the Badges of Kanto before the police road blocks were lifted, meaning that Red would still be missing the Marsh Badge!

    Blue headed out of the police station and towards the Gym when he was approached by a shady looking man.

    “I think I’ve got something that might be of interest to you, kid,” whispered the man.
    “What’s that?” asked Blue.

    The man smiled and removed a disc from his beige trench coat – a TM or an HM! That certainly was of interest to Blue!

    “What move does it teach?” asked Blue eagerly, wondering which of his Pokémon would be able to learn an awesome new move this time, “Is it strong?”
    “Oh, kid, you’ve got the wrong end of the stick,” replied the man, “This is an HM, in battle this is an average move, it’s what it does outside of battle that’s important.”
    “Oh yeah?” questioned Blue curiously, “What’s that?”
    “Well,” explained the man, “It’s called Fly, if you teach it to a Flying type, you’ll be able to get back to any Town or City you’ve ever visited.”
    “That’s pretty cool, I guess,” said Blue, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice, he had hoped it would be a cool new move that would help him beat Red once and for all.
    “Don’t you get it, kid?” challenged the man, “Saffron’s under a road block! You can come and go whenever you want with this!”

    Of course! The police officer had said that Blue had to leave Saffron within an hour, but he never said that he couldn’t come back! With this HM, Blue could get revenge on the Scientist who had gotten him into trouble with the police in the first place! Not only that but he’d be able to Fly back to Viridian City to get the Badge instead of walking there! It was perfect!

    “Wow!” exclaimed Blue, “So you’re just giving it to me?”
    “You crazy kid?” retorted the man, “You think I’d just give this to you for free? I saw your Raticate take out a Grunt just outside of Saffron and I need to stand up for myself, I want it.”
    “You want my Raticate?” shouted Blue in disbelief.
    “That’s right,” confirmed the shady man with a sly grin on his face, “I live in Saffron and the only Pokémon I have is a Spearow, I can’ t even handle myself against Grunts, that thing looked like a power house! I’m tired of getting pushed around! I know you want this HM, I can see it in your eyes!”

    Raticate had been pretty useless in Blue’s last battle with Red and Fly did sound like a pretty useful technique to have and even though the man said that it wasn’t great in battle, Pidgeotto’s strongest Flying type move was currently Gust, so it would probably help there too. Blue thought about it some more, if he was going to give up anyone in his team – it would have to be Raticate. Charmeleon was his starter, he’d invested the only TM he’d obtained so far in Kadabra, he needed Pidgeotto to Fly (if he made the trade that is) and he needed Gyarados to Surf, there was no contest really. In fact, Blue considered himself lucky that he hadn’t decided to use one of this other Pokémon to take out the Grunt outside Saffron – this stroke of luck was surely nothing short of a sign, he had to give up Raticate. Blue would be sad to see the Pokémon go, but he’d be happy to see Pidgeotto learn Fly, plus he was sure this guy would appreciate Raticate a lot more than he would.

    “Fine!” replied Blue, “It’s a deal!”

    The man smiled and the pair made the switch.

    “It was a pleasure doing business with you,” chuckled the man.

    Blue shook the man’s hand and checked his watch – he had forty five minutes to get the Marsh Badge before he had to be out of Saffron City, sure, he could fly back in, but he didn’t want to take the chance that things might not be quite as simple as that. Blue waved to the man and ran in the direction of the Gym, removing Pidgeotto from its Poké Ball and teaching it Fly as he did so. Blue arrived at the door of the Gym to find that there were two, although it was pretty obvious which one was the real Gym, it was the one that was being guarded by a Grunt. Blue was glad he still had his Rocket uniform with him, as shoddy as it was, he ran around the back of the dilapidated Gym and changed into the parts of the uniform that he actually had, taking a bit better care to dress neatly this time.

    Still, when he arrived his hair wasn’t quite contained by the hat, he was wearing jeans rather than the uniform trousers and no belt, although the gloves and boots were on nicely this time. Blue approached the Grunt guarding the door to the Gym.

    “No one’s allowed in, buddy,” the Grunt informed Blue, “The Gym’s under Rocket lockdown, I’ve got to guard it until Boss gets here to take control of it.”
    “That’s why I’m here,” replied Blue, thinking on his feet, “The Boss needs to see you and someone needs to guard the Gym!”
    “Th- the Boss needs to see me?” asked the Grunt, his face turning white with disbelief, “Are you kidding? What about?”
    “I don’t know,” answered Blue, “I didn’t even speak to him myself; I just got told to relieve you of your post and tell you to go see him.”
    “Oh God!” exclaimed the Grunt and ran away without saying a further word to Blue.

    Apparently Grunts were so scared of Boss Rocket that at the mere mention of his name they were unable to tell when someone was wearing obviously fake Rocket uniform, Blue definitely didn’t want to meet this guy. Once the Grunt was out of sight, Blue casually changed back into his normal clothes and entered the Gym – it was time to get another Badge!

    Blue's Team: Charmeleon, Pidgeotto, Kadabra, Gyarados
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout
    Blue's Pokédex: 16 Caught, 58 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 3

  13. #148
    Lighting Things on Fire Sarcastically Insane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    next chapter: Blue gets destroyed by Sabrina!!!!

    And the first sentence of the last paragraph was win.
    Currently writing Hoenn Wars, a Travelsverse fic that needs no prior Travelsverse knowledge to understand. Chapter Seven, Sacrifice, is up.



    That's interesting; I might have a look when I have the time. Thanks!

    EDIT: Oh my god, these are too many links! Very specific...
    ^Someone's first impression of TVTropes.

  14. #149
    Registered User woops's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Duhnn Duhnn Dunn..?

  15. #150
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Its not allowed? Oh. Anyway, another great chapter, I can't wait for the next one!
    Swampert_rox



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