Prey (One Shot)

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  1. #1
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
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    Default Prey (One Shot)

    Hey, everyone! What's up? So I had been wondering what things I could do around here to expand my writing a bit, and a specific story idea hit me. So many people have been going on and on about Nurse Joy and the "evil" implications of the way she always says "We hope to see you again!" as if she meant harm on your Pokemon. I thought it would be an awesome idea for a fic, so I went along with it. The fic is somewhat dark slightly so if you're not into that sort of thing there's your warning. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy it. :3 Took me like an hour to write and it was sort of fun to do, so it's whatever. Lol.

    Also, for those of you who like this story, make sure to check out the fic in my sig as well if you're interested. :D Shameless self-promoting ftw... Sort of. Lol.

    Prey


    "This is week two in an epidemic," the anchorwoman on TV reported, her voice blaring through my Pokemon Center as I took another trainer's sickly Pokemon into my care. "A rash of Pokemon deaths is sweeping the city with no end in sight. Local law enforcement are still investigating, yet can find no leads on where the poisoning is coming from. Studies lead towards an infected water supply due to the high rate of contamination, but that still doesn't explain why humans have yet to feel the ill effects of this toxin."

    I raised a remote control, silencing the lady from continuing her speech as yet another trainer came up to my counter, offering me his Pokemon to try and heal. I sighed, nodding my head and adding his pokeballs to the collection of those I was about to investigate. It appears almost every Pokemon in the city had been affected by now. The woman had been right- there really was no end in sight. None at all. As the boy sobbed, begging for me to make sure that his partners would make it through this alright, I gave him a warm smile as I told him everything would be alright very soon. I then told him what I had told everyone else that had come to me. Words that have different meanings to different people, depending on how they decided to view them.

    "We hope to see you again."

    I can't even remember how many times I've had to echo those words to trainer after trainer that made their way into my Pokemon Center. Day in and day out I constantly take care of their Pokemon, some nights even going without sleep as I cater to their every whim. Yet people still ridicule me, criticizing me for the phrase as if I'd meant harm to come to them by saying it. Why on earth would anyone even consider that as an option?

    Can't I just want to help Pokemon?

    I remember the day I finished nursing school... It's true that I'd never wanted to even go there from the beginning, but with the surname "Joy" I had little to no choice. It was either that or give up the family business, and anyone in my position knows the stance you have to take when given those two options. I now sit, day in and day out, healing the Pokemon of trainers back to full strength. Though I've never said it aloud, I've always secretly wondered what it would be like to be in their position. To travel the world with my Chansey, fighting gyms or competing in Contests. It seems like it would be a wonderful life, doesn't it...?

    Then I remember my cousin, Casey, and I'm jolted back into reality. We still haven't heard from her ever since she began competing in Contests. The family says it's her own choice not to visit with us, but I know better. We all know better. There are two types of Joys in this world; those who heal and those who don't.

    Those who don't aren't heard from.

    That doesn't stop me from occasionally tuning into the Sinnoh Contests on TV, however, and secretly wondering what it would be like to be her. To secretly be rooting her on. She is family, after all... Whatever "family" means in this twisted, messed-up world. Sometimes, when I'm particularly weak, I'd rather pretend I didn't have any family at all. I watch the trainers that stroll into my center, knowing how happy their families are for them to be traveling, and I can't help but admire their chance for fame. At the same time, though, I resent them for their opportunities. I despise them.

    I envy them.

    But... To envy those monsters feels so beneath me. People act as if trainers are the top of the food chain, but those who pay attention know better. They're snobs, constantly parading around and finding their way into misfortune. Their Pokemon pay the price, and they then run in here and demand their partners to be healed for free without so much as a "thank you." They treat us like we don't even exist... Like we're not even human. I've seen first-hand in my life the evil trainers are capable of. The destruction caused by giving those people creatures like that. So many of them are evil... People forget that those in Team Rocket and other evil crime syndicates are just as much trainers as anyone else. But that's alright. Everyone has their faults, don't they?

    ...Don't they?

    I still remember the day that trainer walked in to my center. It was two weeks ago on a Wednesday. His black hair fell lazily into his eyes as he gazed at me uninterestedly, laying his pokeballs out on the counter for me to take care of. We had done the normal routine; I asked him if I could heal his Pokemon, he angrily told me to hurry up, and I took their pokeballs in my hands. It was then that I saw his trainer card- a beautiful color that signified his mastery of both Gyms and Contests. I could feel myself getting flustered. I had paused, gazing at it for a few seconds before he cleared his throat to signify my need to hurry. I no longer cared, however. I gulped, gathering my courage as I asked him what it was like to battle. What it was like to coordinate. All I wanted was to know the rush you felt during the midst of it to help me dream of what it would be like to be in their position.

    The boy simply grinned at me, an evil dancing through his eyes I didn't quite understand. "Why would you care? It's beyond you," he sneered. "Leave that work to us, and you can just sit back and take care of the aftermath."

    I could feel my face turning bright red, but I didn't cry. I didn't yell at him for his insolence. I simply nodded my head and walked into the back of the center, closing the door behind me. As soon as I was out of sight from the boy I could feel the scream of anger rising in my throat, felt the fury coursing through my body. I slammed my foot against a trash can, hitting the counter with my fist as I seethed at his remarks. What does he know about what I can or can't do? I can be just as good as any of them. In fact, I could be better. I'll show them... I'll show them all.

    I lurched over the counter, panting heavily as I let out another roar of fury, kicking a chair over next to me. These brats think I'm only here to help them? Is that all I'm good for? No... No, I can do so much more than just that. I stomped over to the cabinets underneath the sink, swinging them open as I searched for the new medicine I'd be handing out to all those that came to my center. I finally found it, my poison of choice, as I released his Pokemon one-by-one and fed it to them. His Pokemon trusted me, they didn't know what I was doing. Why would they? Even these creatures only know me as a nurse here for their own benefit. By the time they were placed back into their pokeballs, I could tell by their expressions it was already slowly beginning to take effect. Their sickened, painful looks told me all that I need to know.

    I'll show them all just what I'm capable of, even if they don't know it's me doing it. I won't ever have to take real care of a trainer again. They can come back as much as they want... It'll just make my new job even easier. As what I had just done sank in, I gave a small moan of both disbelief and unbridled joy at what was about to take place to his partners. I leaned over the sink counter, gazing at my face in the mirror. Melinda, my dear, I believe you've finally found your calling in life.

    I smirked, brushing the hair out of my eyes as I grabbed the boy's pokeballs and walked back out to greet him with a warm smile. I finally knew what true anger was. What true hatred was. It was then I knew the true meaning behind my words I'd echoed year after year. I wanted them to come back, wanted to show them just what I was capable of. As the boy scowled at me, chiding me in the time it took me to finish, I could no longer hear him. I had no longer cared what he had to say. I simply handed him back his Pokemon, a smile spreading across my face as I had told him what I'd told so many trainers before him.

    "We hope to see you again."

    And now, nearly two weeks later, my poison is finally beginning to take hold of this town and creature after creature have begun to fall. The trainers keep coming back to me to save them from this torture... They finally realize their place in the natural order as I silently laugh from behind the scenes. As I glance through my center, I can't help but wonder just how many more will die until I finally feel satisfied. The answer, I know, is a simple one indeed.

    All of them.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Well, there you have it. My second Pokemon one-shot ever. xD It's pretty short, so sorry for that. Anyways, if you read all that, make sure to leave a comment with your thoughts about it (good or bad). I look forward to seeing what people have to say about this piece of work. :3 Thank you so much for reading it, and have a great day!
    Last edited by Dawn_Hero; 25th February 2011 at 01:02 AM.

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  2. #2
    Guess Who's Watching... Aladar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    Thought it'd be only fair if I leave a review as well.

    I actually quite like the premise of the one-shot but I can't shake the feeling that it should've been slightly darker. While the local nurse suddenly going batshit and starting to poison everyone's Pokémon is quite the scary possibilty, I expected some grimer stuff. Like, maybe showing the aftermath of the nurse's handywork in that particular location and then telling the story in retrospect or something. Y'know, the pandemia is everywhere now, no one knows what to do and the only choice trainers have is looking for Joy's help. So off to the Center they go where she awaits them with a constant smile. And always ready to 'help'. Still, your story, your idea, your way of writing. Maybe you're just not a fan of darker fics.

    I don't even think that I need to say that there's no problem with the grammar, maybe save for a stray mistake here in there. I doubt many people would notice one, tho. The story does its work great and allows the reader to immerse in it.

    I like how you end with the same thing you opened the story- I'm rather fond of the BookEnds trope. Also, the Joy Mafia? Lol. Your brief description of their family here would make Mr Capone proud. I mean, 'those who aren't heard from?' Lol again.

    P.S. IMO you should make a Jenny one.


    A lone detective takes it upon himself to solve the murder of a young woman, willingly diving into the dangerous web of conspiracies weaved by the feuding mafia families. But after the truth is uncovered, will that city of sin be the same ever again?

  3. #3
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    Quote Originally Posted by Aladar View Post
    I actually quite like the premise of the one-shot but I can't shake the feeling that it should've been slightly darker. While the local nurse suddenly going batshit and starting to poison everyone's Pokémon is quite the scary possibilty, I expected some grimer stuff. Like, maybe showing the aftermath of the nurse's handywork in that particular location and then telling the story in retrospect or something. Y'know, the pandemia is everywhere now, no one knows what to do and the only choice trainers have is looking for Joy's help. So off to the Center they go where she awaits them with a constant smile. And always ready to 'help'. Still, your story, your idea, your way of writing. Maybe you're just not a fan of darker fics.
    That's actually a really good idea I might just have to look at. xD Personally, the idea only just struck me and I couldn't think of any other way to start. I might just edit it in a beginning with that or something, who knows? :P As for whether or not I like darker fics, I have several far darker than this. I love them. <3 This was one of my shit one-hour fics so it's not the best, but there are a couple that are decent dark ones. xD

    EDIT: I took your advice into consideration and edited the first part of the fic to include your suggestion. Definitely improved on it, I feel. Thanks a ton. ;3

    I like how you end with the same thing you opened the story- I'm rather fond of the BookEnds trope. Also, the Joy Mafia? Lol. Your brief description of their family here would make Mr Capone proud. I mean, 'those who aren't heard from?' Lol again.

    P.S. IMO you should make a Jenny one.
    Thanks, Aladar. You rock. ;D Yeah, I thought it'd be fun to start and end the same way simply for lulz. It's true that Nurse Joys in the anime and games and stuff can sometimes have a job outside of nursing, but I figured it'd be fun to turn them into something a bit more... Selective? Glad you found it funny. xD Dunno if I could think of something for a Jenny fic, though. Definitely be funny to do, though. Thanks for the review, bro. ;D
    Last edited by Dawn_Hero; 24th February 2011 at 02:19 PM.

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  4. #4
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    It was good, I assumed it would've been darker, but besides that you have written a very good
    one shot.

  5. #5
    Paint it black OverlordRuby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    Great! Absolutely fantastic! I loved how Nurse Joy is resentful towards people that automatically expect her to 'take care of the aftermath', as you perfectly put it.

  6. #6
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    Quote Originally Posted by NeedleStorm View Post
    Great! Absolutely fantastic! I loved how Nurse Joy is resentful towards people that automatically expect her to 'take care of the aftermath', as you perfectly put it.
    Thanks so much for reading, NeedleStorm! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :3 Yeah, poor Nurse Joy. I can't blame her for snapping after all she's forced to put up with.

    Quote Originally Posted by WingullStrike
    It was good, I assumed it would've been darker, but besides that you have written a very good one shot.
    Thanks for reading, and I'm happy you thought it was good. :] It wasn't as dark as I was hoping it would be, I suppose, but I still feel like its implications are far darker than the average story. Or, y'know, I'm just totally delusional. Either way, I've edited it a bit to help make it (hopefully) somewhat darker. Definitely an improvement from how it started. I'm really enjoying the story now. xD Anyways, I'm ranting.

    Thanks you two for reading and reviewing! (: I really appreciate it hahah.

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  7. #7
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    I really enjoyed this one shot. It's an idea I don't think I ever would've thought of, although I've heard the joke about how 'We hope to see you again' is an insult time and time again. I felt real emotion around the nurse and I felt like she was a really developed character.

    As people have said before, I would've found it interesting for her to imagine (based on her professional medical knowledge) how the Pokemon would be affected and how the snobby trainers would be affected by that but I think this is a great piece of work, I hope you write more one shots, you obviously have a talent for it.

  8. #8
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gastly's Mama View Post
    As people have said before, I would've found it interesting for her to imagine (based on her professional medical knowledge) how the Pokemon would be affected and how the snobby trainers would be affected by that but I think this is a great piece of work, I hope you write more one shots, you obviously have a talent for it.
    I get what you mean about imagining what would truly become of the Pokemon and trainers, but I guess I just felt like the fact they were dying off and the trainers in the beginning crying and needing their Pokemon healed sort of spoke for itself and more than that would (at least I felt it would ;-; ) derail the fic a tad. Regardless, I'm flattered you enjoyed my work. Thanks so much for your look at it. :3 Hahahah.

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  9. #9
    Ace Trainer AceTrainerChristy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Prey (One Shot)

    You have just destroyed my childhood...

    ... again...

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