PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits) - Page 2

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  • Cynthia x Garchomp Shipping

    7 87.50%
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    1 12.50%
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Thread: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

  1. #16
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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    I expanded Chapter II! Go back a page and read up, folks! Also, this afternoon, I'll expand this post for the third chapter, which will focus on a battle between Chuck Norris and Mr. T on live television! With Pokemon included, of course.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Okay, now it's hilarious and cracky. So besides being bestial, their relationship is also lesbian? Le gasp! I am shocked!

    Do you want the 10-scale ratings?
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    Do you want the 10-scale ratings?
    Sure thing, Mr.Z! Also, I can't believe your'e shocked. Didn't you fight her? She had almost all female Pokemon! Plus, there's gonna be Chuck Norris and Mr.T, come next chapter, and a semi-sequel to Roots (by Gastly's Mama). Aw hell, I'm on a winning streak, why not start it now? (Warning: This chapter is horrible, the next one will not be)

    CHAPTER III: Chuck Norris vs. Mr.T!


    As the Trainer watched, wowed at Chuck Norris, Professor Oak felt a disturbance. In his laboratory, where he had fell asleep on the desk, where he was reading his scrapbook of his times with Delia and Red, he felt around for his Manetric (TM) brand taser gun. "Is there anyone there?" He said, a little shocked. The lights turned on, it was Professor Araragi. In her Texan accent, she said. "Hey, compadre! Put on your underwear, we have a talk show to attend to! And, yeah, why were you reading a scrapbook, naked? And, uh-" Oak, knowing she knew his secrets, simply said. "I have done things I'm not proud of, madam, let me get my things and we'll go."

    Back in Hoenn, the trainer, still baked, was watching the amazingness of Chuck Norris. "Walker was hungry, so he went to a ghost town named Huin, where the meanest, rootinest, tootinest dictator in all of Isshu lived. Mr. T." Chuck Norris was riding on his steed, a Shimama evo, that was named Ragin' Thunderbolt. He rode up to Huin City (or, Huin Town), and asked for a beer. Suddenly, the man declined, and was roundhouse kicked. Suddenly, the mayor of the town was awoken. On his Ononokusu, with gold chains, wheel spinners, landing gear, and machine gun turrets on its back. "I pity the foo' who be kickin' my citizens!" Mr.T said as he crossed his arms and nodded his head. Chuck Norris turned around, on Ragin' Thunderbolt, and said, calmly. "We deul at sunset tonight, to the death. Bring your steed. May the best man win." Mr.T accepted by crossing his arms and nodding his head. "I pity the foo' who challenges we to a deul. Mr.T Jr.!" He said, motioning to his Ononokusu, "Show him your power!" A few seconds later, Mr.T Jr. had leveled the tavern they were infront of. "Good work, compadre." Chuck Norris said. "I'll see you, come sunset."

    When it went to commercials, the Trainer and Blaziken did a knuckle touch, which seared the skin off the Trainer's hand. He didn't mind, instead he replied, "Duuuude! Your'e hot!" "RakakaKAKADOODLEDOO!" Blaziken said, agreeing.

    Oak was at the INNN (International News Network) when he spotted an old friend of his. Rick Char, whose name was a pseudonym for David, had noticed Oak too. "Could it be? Oak, it's you!" Oak, who remembered him (and saw in him) the little boy he had taught and loved, gave his old friend a hug. "My how you have grown!" Oak exclaimed. "Oh you old pervert! You've taught me everything!" Of course, after the word pervert, David's voice became more hostile, he tied up Oak's mouth with duct tape and knocked him into his dressing room. "I saw what you did to Millie, I spied on you, during your darkest moments!" He said, pulling out a knife. "You, you monster, I looked up to you, and what if my reward? You taught me to hate everyhting about you, you killed my innocence. And now, I will avenge it." Crying, Rick plunged the knife into Oak's hand, and ran out of the building. Taking the duct tape out of his mouth and using it to bind his hand, Oak got on stage with the other professors. "Schymnholt Oeik, vat haz happended to yehr hand-schovictch?" Professor Birch said in his mad scientist voice. "Birch, this is my payment, for my sins." Oak grimly replied.

    Meanwhile on the show Walker, Isshu Ranger, Norris was ready to deul Mr.T. Mr.T, riding on his Ononokusu, and Norris, on his Shimama evo, went into the proper posture for a deul. "So, T, are you ready to die?" Chuck Norris said, warming up his legs for a roundhouse kick. "I pity the foo' who thinks Mr.T will die." Mr.T said, fixing Mr.T Jr.'s turrets. A great battle was to start.
    Out of nowhere, Mr.T screamed "PWNAGE!" suddenly, bullets started flying and Ononokusu used Draco Meteor. "Okay, Ragin' Thunderbolt, go, use Thunder Armor." Ragin' used his Thunder Armor, and Chuck got a good aim at Mr.T. Mr.T knew what was coming, and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr.T just as Mr.T punched Chuck Norris. The resulting black hole sucked the Trainer's Blaziken back into his ball, the high out of his head, and Chuck Norris and Mr.T themselves, killing their steeds, changing the channels, and landing the two in our world.

    The Trainer, now fully concscious, saw that the show had been changed to 'The Professor Show!'. He had heard from Trainers he had battled that the show had just as much controversy as INN. "Oh, boy! More sex scandals! Count me in!"

    TO BE CONTINUED
    NEXT CHAPTER: The Grand Finale
    Last edited by Der_Neuevenmenschen; 13th July 2010 at 02:54 PM.

  4. #19
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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Noob View Post
    Sure thing, Mr.Z! Also, I can't believe your'e shocked. Didn't you fight her? She had almost all female Pokemon!
    No, I'm barely 30% of the way through Diamond right now.
    (And I was trying to act. >_>)

    Oh, whoops, I already did give you the rating out of 100.

    Alright, since this is obviously a crackfic, I'll use the same standard I put on Drakon's The Life of the Legendaries.

    Level of hilarity: 6/10 (Yeah, I didn't crack up that much at chapter 2. The Southern accent on Mr. Pokemon was a bit random, too, and not the amusing kind of random, just the "doesn't really add anything" kind of random.)

    Level of crackiness: 6/10 (I don't really think the loud Blaziken was that much of a funny bit - it seemed more annoying, actually. Pretty much the main thing that keeps this fic up is the Cynthia x Garchomp.)

    Grammar, Style, and Flow: 7/10 (Mostly, there were a few really long ellipses that you shouldn't have there.)

    Overall rating: 60/100 (It hasn't changed. What a surprise!)

    *edit* Agh, ninja'd by a new chapter. That's twice now that that's happened! Hold on, I'll also give a review for chapter 3 shortly.

    "Duel", not "deul". Just one spelling mistake there.

    Aw man, this chapter got a bit worse. Everything is too random, even for a crackfic. The events are random to the point of disconnection, which isn't good.
    Last edited by Zekurom; 13th July 2010 at 02:04 PM.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Loud Blaziken not funny? I'll have him toned down. Also, so the shipping is the only thing keeping this alive eh? Trust me, this chapter will get really, really weird. I'll have Cynthia x Garchomp back, since Chapter III is going to be a slightly more serious chapter, being a literal sequel to Gastly's Mama's 'Roots', but only in two quick parts. Also, I'm thinking about having a fitfth chapter surrounding a cooking show. Also, the Southern accent wasn't supposed to be funny, it was just supposed to be there, a hint at what I'm cooking up for Chapter IV.

    EDIT: Chapter III is worse? Oh crap. I'll try to make better transitions. Because this chapter is based off action shows, it's kind of supposed to be a little more serious and a lot more disconnected. Sorry man. I'll try to get on the funny train with Chapter IV (trust me, there will be bestiality references), and the epilougue (which focuses a cooking show where Pokemon get sliced up alive, that is being watched by Cyrus).
    Last edited by Der_Neuevenmenschen; 13th July 2010 at 02:08 PM.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Noob View Post
    Loud Blaziken not funny? I'll have him toned down.
    Well, it's not so much the loudness that disturbs me, but the fact that you're giving him quoted speech most of the time. The first time was enough, I think.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    Well, it's not so much the loudness that disturbs me, but the fact that you're giving him quoted speech most of the time. The first time was enough, I think.
    Okay, I'm new, remember. Also, I've been planning something really surreal to shut Blaziken up. Plus, all the Pokemon have quoted speech, mainly because they're saying something other than their names. Garchomp had quoted speech, too.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Noob View Post
    Okay, I'm new, remember. Also, I've been planning something really surreal to shut Blaziken up. Plus, all the Pokemon have quoted speech, mainly because they're saying something other than their names. Garchomp had quoted speech, too.
    Garchomp's speech was better than Blaziken's. I didn't have a problem with Garchomp's.

    And I'm newer here than you are, so...?
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    I merely forgot to acquaint myself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    No, I'm barely 30% of the way through Diamond right now.
    (And I was trying to act. >_>)
    Dude, and I was just playing around.
    Also, I finished the chapter. I ended it out of spite, getting rid of everything that was holding the story back in Chapters II and III. There's a better one coming tomorrow. There will be:
    1) Professors bickering in funny accents (with a burrito and some Austin Powers references involved)
    2) Bestiality scandals
    3) Mudkipz (maybe)
    4) Sneedly in Hell
    5) The story will end. (Of course I'm putting in an epilouge for the lulz)
    Last edited by Der_Neuevenmenschen; 13th July 2010 at 02:56 PM.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Noob View Post
    (with a burrito and some Austin Powers references involved)
    Austin Powers FTW! I'm looking forward to it XD
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    Austin Powers FTW! I'm looking forward to it XD
    Yesiree. Also, I'm going to be posting the first half right now!

    CHAPTER IV: The Grand Finale


    The Trainer was sitting in his couch when he heard a knock. It was his mother! "Honey, I'm home!" She screamed, expecting her son's father to be home. "Mom, it's me!" The Trainer said. "Hey have you heard about the sex scandal?" "Yeah," His mom said, "I saw the video, that was disgusting! So, whatchya watchin'?" "The Professor Show, of course." Son said to mother, "Sweet, get out the chips. Also, I saw what Blaziken did in the litterbox. You clean it." "Dang." The Trainer said to his mom as the show started with a cheesy theme song.

    "Welcome to the Professor Show!" DJ Mary said. "Today, we have a very special guest who has a question...." She started to frown, and almost vomited in his mouth. "Can Pokemon crossbreed with humans. I'M BEING PAID FOR THIS! WHAT!" From in front of the TV, the Trainer's Mom said, "You know, she's so ugly when she's angry." Back behind the TV, however, things were about to go from bad to worse. "And our special guest today, Riley!" Riley, who had flown from Iron Island to Jubilife City only an hour earlier, had come to the INNN for a visit. "Yes, here I am. I'm not the special guest. This is." He said as he dropped a Pokeball on the ground, releasing its contents. Here are the reactions.
    Oak: *silence, and a nervous look on his face, heads to the bathroom*
    Elm: *nomming on a burrito* "Well what do we have heaayr?" (He has food in his mouth)
    Birch: *puts a pinky to his mouth* "Ze mahdnehz! I muhzt vihvhizkt it aht zis moment!" (He has a heavy German accent)
    Rowan: "Blimey, what a crazy little bugger that is!" (He has a light Scottish accent)
    Araragi: *gasping in horror* (She has a heavy Texan accent)
    DJ Mary: *vomiting on the floor*

    The small creature was a Riolu. Except... it was weaing a little dress. Considering the context of the question this was related to, such a thing was disgusting. "This," Riley said, "Is my daughter. Uh.. Yeah." He said, rubbing his neck and handing Riolu a piece of chocolate.
    In the bathroom, Oak looked at his hand, the one that had been stabbed earlier. It wasn't. Strange huh? Yes, the events of Chapter III were a time-space anomaly caused by Chuck Norris and Mr.T performing their signature moves upon eachother on live TV.

    Meanwhile, in Hell, Sneedly was talking to Eusine. "So, you walked across a train track, when Suicune ran across it? Don't you think he was trying to get you killed? Shouldn't you have a gun or something?" Sneedly said. "Hey, I died doing what I enjoyed!" Eusine said. "And I still have my 1-800 number operating!" "Epic fail." Sneedly said.
    A knock on the apartment came, it was Giratina, who owned Hell (aka The Distortion World), and he was pissed. "Ahem, sirs! All new guests to my domain do not mention their deaths until a week after entrance!" Giratina was a sadistic bastard of a Pokemon, as he hated all life as it was, and the recent space-time anomaly had made quite a few of his 'guests' to come and dissapear. So he was pissed.
    "Please don't kill me!" Sneedly pleaded, Eusine just kept silent in pure terror. "I can see, but you're already dead!" Giratina said in his cold, demonic voice. "Might I be more congenial?" He said as he coughed up his Griseous Orb, putting him in his Altered Forme. "So now am I more decent sounding?" Giratina exclaimed in a faux girly voice. After seeing to that his 'guests' were well terrified, he swallowed his Griseous Orb, returning him to his Origin Forme, and he slithered off.

    Back on PokeEarth, the Trainer and his Mom were watching the talk show in shock. In the time it took for Giratina to tend to Hell, the talk show had passed into total anarchy.
    Riley, stuck to his couch in terror, watched as Riolu was being dissected alive by Professor Birch, Araragi was giving him a decent Texan talkin' to, Elm was sloppily finishing his burrito, and Rowan, being an aggravated Scotsman, was beating the living Muk out of the producer. After the director forced them to stop, and had Riley take his (mutilated) daughter home. On the way out of the building, he bumped into Champion Cynthia. "Oh, my it's!-" "Cynthia, I know, now, I'm looking for the CEO of the INNN. I am to sue him for a large sum of.-" Cynthia interrupted. "What! What! Your'e going in that building!" Riley screamed in horror. "Look what they did to my daughter!" He said as he held up Riolu, whose guts were hanging out, and her skin was half parted from her body, similar to many a Poliwag in a science class. Snickering nervously, Cynthia replied: "I will pay for your daughter's reproductive surgery in full. Hell, your'e kinky. I'd date you, if I wasn't already taken." She said as she kissed her Garchomp, who snarled at Riolu. "I should lay off the Dream Smoke." Riley muttered beneath his breath as he tried to pour some rubbing alchohol on his Riolu's exposed areas.

    Back in Hoenn, The Trainer had flown to the beach on his Yanmega to get the beach weather promised to him earlier, knowing he would find babes. His mother, however, was watching cooking shows, which I will get to later.

    At the INNN, Cynthia had walked up to the CEO (who was enjoying an Orange Island Cigar), holding a copy of her (uncensored) sex tape. "Hello, sir. I'd like to report on this film." As the CEO tried to talk, Garchomp loomed in his face, charging up her Flamethrower to show she meant business. "I think my friend *smooch* has already shown what I mean. I'm very angry you showed this. Let me show you." Once again, the film rolled, except it was much longer, and more scandalous.
    Fifty minutes later.
    The CEO had a trollface on like never before. "Well, you see why I'm angry. I'd like to sue for 4,000,000 Pokebux." The CEO was flabbergasted. "What! That's most of my shows! All the most popular shows are the...." The heat coming out of Garchomp's mouth had relit his cigar butt and singed his tupee. He was too frightened to talk, let alone close his eyes. "4 million. Did I not say otherwise? You think me an idiot? Do not fuck with me, you sniveling Bidoof, or I will have you for dinner, and Garchomp is a damn good chef." As Cynthia said this (in the most ominous tone she knew), the CEO fainted, knowing there were only two ways out, death, or bankruptcy. He chose bankruptcy.

    On the beaches of Slateport City, however, The Trainer was watching televison at someone else's house, eating a BLT, having enjoyed a full day of hitting on girls (and getting mauled by one particularly angry woman armed with a Wailord), he thought to himself... 'what would Mom be watching?'
    Fifty minutes later.
    'A cooking show!' As such, he changed it to a cooking show, specifically, "Cyrus and Giovanni: Illegally Good Cuisine!". "Hey, weren't these guys both arrested?" He said. But he didn't mind, another adventure was waiting for him behind that screen.

    THE END
    NOT QUITE
    Epilouge:


    On the other side of the TV, in International Maximum Security Prison, "Today on Illegally Good Cuisine, we will be cookin' Shimama steak with boiled Oddish on the side." Cyrus said, trying to sound cheery (which made him even creepier). Having been arrested after escaping the Distortion World, he was wearing a black and white striped jumpsuit, the same with Giovanni, and their kitchen was obviously a jail mess hall. "Ah, yes, first you must get a steak!" Giovanni said in a New Yorker accent as he released a Shimama and three Oddishes out of their Pokeballs, "Now, to prepare the steak, if your'e using a live animal, you'll need a chainsaw!" Cyrus exclaimed in joy as he went Jason Voorhees on Giovanni's Shimama, listening to its screams of horror and pain in ectsasy, finally producing him five large steaks. "Okay Giovanni, do your stuff!" Cyrus said as Giovanni spiced up the Shimama steaks with some heavy dry rubs. "Got it Cyrus. Now, let's boil that Oddish!" Giovanni picked up the Oddish by its middle, who was happily smiling when Giovanni used a pair of hedge clippers to cut off its head leaves and legs, putting it in a pot of boiling water, and did this to the other three. "Now, Cyrus, let's fire up that grill!" Giovanni said to Cyrus as Cyrus lit up the grill and put on the steaks. "Oh, Giovanni, those Oddishes are done!" Cyrus said as he ran to get out the Oddishes. "Now, to pare the Oddishes." Cyrus exclaimed, cutting the still-alive Oddishes in half, then cutting the halves into fourths, once again enjoying their screams of pain. "Hey, Cyrus, get the steaks off the grill!" Giovanni screamed to Cyrus (he was beating up Jessie and James, who were visiting, for once again not catching Red's Pikachu). A few minutes later, the meal was done. "Now," Said Cyrus, "For the garnish! A little bit of Sitrus leaves.... And alot of human blood!" Suddenly, Cyrus slit his wrist over the dish, letting himself bleed out a little. "Oh, sweet death!" The madman screamed as he plunged a knife into his heart. Giovanni, taking advantage of the commotion, escaped from the prison, on Live TV.

    The Trainer, bored, turned off the TV, and decided to leave the house, taking some chips and soda with him. Suddenly, he bumped into the woman who had almost killed him with her Wailord. It was Cynthia. She grabbed the BLT out of his hands, picked up her Garchomp-colored XBOX 360 controller, and stared into the teenager's eyes. "Hmmm.... I see. So, you made yourself comfortable in my beach house?" She said, stifling hatred, holding a pink, fluffy Pokeball...

    THE END
    Last edited by Der_Neuevenmenschen; 26th July 2010 at 12:10 PM.

  12. #27
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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Grammar- 80/100; It's okay. Mistakes here and there. Including spelling.
    Length- 50/100; several parts are ridiculously short. Not much for the reader to read.
    Hilarity- 50/100; A little funny in places, but as a whole, not really amusing.
    Crack- 60/100; Random, but really too random, even for a crack fic.

    60/100

    That's for the whole story. I think you are trying too hard to be funny. Just write like you normally would. The trainer and blaziken weren't as funny as annoying. Not trying to be mean, just straight forward. ;) Just want to help!

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamGalacticMercury View Post
    Grammar- 80/100; It's okay. Mistakes here and there. Including spelling.
    Length- 50/100; several parts are ridiculously short. Not much for the reader to read.
    Hilarity- 50/100; A little funny in places, but as a whole, not really amusing.
    Crack- 60/100; Random, but really too random, even for a crack fic.

    60/100
    You know, if all your ratings are multiples of 10 anyway, you might as well just give it out of 10... >_>
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamGalacticMercury View Post
    Grammar- 80/100; It's okay. Mistakes here and there. Including spelling.
    Length- 50/100; several parts are ridiculously short. Not much for the reader to read.
    Hilarity- 50/100; A little funny in places, but as a whole, not really amusing.
    Crack- 60/100; Random, but really too random, even for a crack fic.

    60/100

    That's for the whole story. I think you are trying too hard to be funny. Just write like you normally would. The trainer and blaziken weren't as funny as annoying. Not trying to be mean, just straight forward. ;) Just want to help!
    It's okay, I'm new. Also, I know the trainer is annoying, and his Blaziken is worse. I got rid of Blaziken and rendered the trainer silent this chapter (and he won't be in the epilouge). Also, things are getting a little random because I was running out of good ideas during Chapter III. I know it's not that funny, especially because I tried to change it up every chapter, which sent me down a slippery slope of creativity, since I had to think up more funny things, so yeah, I started sucking. Also, I made it short so I could keep the humor to the point. I'm not a pro yet, people!

  15. #30
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    Default Re: PokeTV; Stay tuned, Folks. (a four-chapter series of skits)

    This is really good. Hilarious in places and decent;y funny in others

    I'll give it 7/10

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