I just read chapter twelve. ^_^. really well-written.
I enjoyed the pokeshipping hints and your writing from chapter one to this one was a major improvement although there was nothing wrong with your beginning chapters... Just your writing has improved with each chapter.
Btw, I voted for your story on the final voting thread on both categories. It seems like mostly everyone is voting for you!
I loved how you made Ash react to hearing Brock's slight fib regarding Misty. Speaking of the fiery head female, I felt so bad for her leaving... And Dawn's treatment of her... Although I'm sure with time, the two'd become friends.
Characterization and dialogue was brilliant along with your description.
I'm working on my next chapter, myself... Surprisingly, I decided to add Dento into the story although I originally had no plans to use him...
I decided to add him to Dawn's plot within the story...
Hopefully, I'll get it up within the next two weeks...
My favorite part in your chapter specifically was when Ash woke up to see Misty and his quote towards Pikachu about Misty... Then his looking for Misty when he woke up and Dawn was there.
I'll read your next chapter maybe later or tomorrow...
Until Next Time,