So the two alliances join forces. A little advise for the battle, since it's gonna be six on six you should try to write the battle completely. Now it might get a little boring, so every time a round finishes think about what you want to do for the next one if you jump right into it things might turn bad; that is unless you already have your ideas set on what you're going to do.
Actually, Legacy, I would suggest you make the battle complete pwnage on steroids. Just have all of them trying to beat eachother up at once. Think of how impossibly wild you can make it, and just go for it. Bleh.
Also, I want to see BlackThornShipping.
Noob, I don't even know if Claire appears here she didn't in the last fic.
Last edited by Flaze; 5th August 2010 at 03:49 PM.
Keep up the great work! I love this series!
Fantastic chapter. The buildup to this battle is awesome and I really hope it isn't Ashs last battle of the tourney. Mistys wink at dawn at the end was hilarious, I'm really glad she's here.
I'm super excited for this battle!
Ash has to beat Lance! Great chapter although I was hoping this would be the battle chapter. I love the student vs teacher like thing you got goin here between Ash and Lance
The way you portray the boss is amazing, personally i wouldn't have had him shouting until the parchment was burned, as it would have showed a cold outside, yet on the inside he would have been bricking it, then he shows his true colours when the map is burned. Just my opinion.
Looking forward to Ash v Lance, i'm sure it will be your best battle sequence so far!
Great chapter! Keep it up!!!!
As I always say (and always mean), thanks everyone who's read and commented. Ash vs. Lance is in the works. My goal is to make it a truly epic battle!
I hope we see Gliscor!!
Inside the luxurious office, had returned to his comfy leather chair behind his desk and was now reclined with his feet up, watching and listening to the television news coverage from Sapphire City intently.
I think it's that comma after "business suit", marked in red, which should be changed to "and" or another such coordinating conjunction.
M'kay, that's all the grammar mistakes I could fine. And for chapter's this long, that's perfectly fine. (and I nitpick a lot anyways, so...)
I'm going to agree with the others and suggest an epic battle, but somehow I don't think that that'll change anything. Worth a shot. (I like how you had that foreshadowing about Ash's losing. Either it's really subtle foreshadowing or you tricked me. Both work fine.)
Yeah, I'm looking forward to the next chapter too. You've done a really good job so far.