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  1. #196
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside

    Man it was one intence Chapter! Your writeong always hooks me in from the first line.

  2. #197
    I! AM NOT! A MORON! Sith Droideka's Avatar
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside

    Why are so many opponents of Ash jerks? If I were him, I would call out Zak for rape and assault. I would, of course, unleash my best Pokemon in battle against him too. Tyranitar, Empoleon, and Blaziken would crush him like the bug he is. But Ash will lose, won't he?
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside

    Quote Originally Posted by Battle Droid View Post
    Why are so many opponents of Ash jerks? If I were him, I would call out Zak for rape and assault. I would, of course, unleash my best Pokemon in battle against him too. Tyranitar, Empoleon, and Blaziken would crush him like the bug he is. But Ash will lose, won't he?
    I guess there's just a lot of jerks in the world, haha. Although, Zak is the only person who has been actually confrontational.

    The big battle to see who goes to the second round and who goes home is coming up next!

    I wonder which pokemon Ash will use...

  4. #199
    May Still Have Hope TeamGalacticMercury's Avatar
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Nice job bud!

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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamGalacticMercury View Post
    Nice job bud!
    Thanks everyone for reading! I'd really appreciate it if anyone who reads would post some comments about what they think. I love suggestions, speculation and criticism! All of it helps :)

  6. #201
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Very nice. I'm interested in this story immensely. In fact, I was going to read the previous incarnation, but I just never had the time and whatnot. Of course, this was before I hardened my resolve and read a ~50 chapter Zelda fic in a week. So, yeah ^^;; Nothing but praise for your work. However, I noticed that you don't capitalize some Pokemon names and some other tiny details. For instance, I noticed in the last chapter (I think) you said "tentacruel" when its "Tentacruel." I think I noticed some other minor capitalization errors, but besides that, its very well written.

    On a side note, could you possibly send me a PM whenever you next see this?
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  7. #202
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Quote Originally Posted by AiedailEclipsed View Post
    Very nice. I'm interested in this story immensely. In fact, I was going to read the previous incarnation, but I just never had the time and whatnot. Of course, this was before I hardened my resolve and read a ~50 chapter Zelda fic in a week. So, yeah ^^;; Nothing but praise for your work. However, I noticed that you don't capitalize some Pokemon names and some other tiny details. For instance, I noticed in the last chapter (I think) you said "tentacruel" when its "Tentacruel." I think I noticed some other minor capitalization errors, but besides that, its very well written.

    On a side note, could you possibly send me a PM whenever you next see this?
    For the capitalization, I did it this way:

    - First, in its non-proper noun form, I use 'pokemon' because in the real world, you don't say, "Today, I saw an Animal." You say, "Today, I saw an animal." Therefore, I use "pokemon" instead of "Pokemon," unless it's "Pokemon Center" (a name of a partiular place.

    - Also, when referring to a particular type of pokemon, I use lower-case letters. You wouldn't say, "Today, I saw a Squirrel."
    You'd just use lower case. (Ash's pikachu, Zak's tentacruel, etc."

    - But when talking about a pokemon by name, such as "Pikachu" I use capital letters. (Ash looked at Pikachu, Zak commanded Tentacruel, etc.)

    Let me know if I made any mistakes beyond this! And thanks for reading everyone, once again.

    COMMMENT PLEASE!

  8. #203
    Get those Devil Horns up Magmortar123's Avatar
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Chapter 7 was great! I think even though the bad guy said Giovanni died, it's really him, just speculating.
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    I love the description, and you give vivid battle scenes. All in all great job! I wish my Fan Fic(s) (Sinister Adventure & He Who Has Power) could of gotten as big as yours, but my ideas were "borrowed".

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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Quote Originally Posted by RaccoonGoon View Post
    I love the description, and you give vivid battle scenes. All in all great job! I wish my Fan Fic(s) (Sinister Adventure & He Who Has Power) could of gotten as big as yours, but my ideas were "borrowed".
    What do u mean, borrowed?

  11. #206
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghostwriter View Post
    poop
    excuse me?

  12. #207
    Gonna be a tl;dr Master! Shinneth's Avatar
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Alright, got a chance to sit down and read this from beginning to the current chapter. I'll admit I never once read the old version of the fic, so I'm not familiar with anything similar with the previous story. I'll also go ahead and say I'm not at all a Pokeshipper, nor a Pearlshipper, or even much of a Misty fan (and especially not the idea that she's miserable as a Gym Leader). I sort of have my own headcanon about the aging process in the anime (basically, 1 major region = 1 year), so this rendition is a little hard for me to adjust to.

    Regardless of what I disagree with, you've got some really strong writing on your side, so the ideals that make me flinch really don't sting as much as they would have in an average fic or worse. You at least have a good way of explaining things that otherwise would leave a reader baffled, and while there's an occasional grammar slip-up, it's not nearly to the point that it becomes distracting. The longer chapters you end up having, the easier it is to make a grammar error or even an innocent typo, and I'm speaking from experience. So I can't really fault you on that in all good conscience.

    The battles so far have been exceptionally fun to read, as it's easy to imagine what's going on in your head and it's much more welcoming than a more simplistic approach that I've seen so many other writers do. While it did bug me a little for the first battle that Ash blackmailed Ethan out of using Electric-type attacks... mainly because it struck me as a very un-Ashlike way of strategizing, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt in regards to his possession of the coin at that time, or that something else changed Ash's methods during the 5-year gap from the show's current canon.

    You've got a nice way of executing chilling scenes with the villain. Really shows he's not one to be screwed around with if the threat of money doesn't even faze him. It did hit me (in the prologue especially) that you've got a very detailed way of describing the scenery, but like someone else said earlier, a lot of description and run-on sentences can make it feel like a chore to read at times. It seems to have mellowed down significantly since then, though, which is good. It's tricky to find the perfect balance between minimal detail and an overabundance of it, especially in regards to much less significant details (such as clothing, for example). But really, you seem to have it down at this point, so that's not much of an issue.

    I usually hate stories inundated with OCs and personally only use them for my stories when it's absolutely necessary, but this so far has not been the case, as every OC present seems to serve their purpose well so far without taking over the entire story and pushing the canon cast into the background. That's a good way to go about it... I usually get worried when some get introduced because I often really just don't care for them, but the formula you've got here makes their roles perfectly acceptable.

    So yeah. This fic definitely lives up to the hype. Nice way of thinking out of the box in terms of overall plot, and the flaws present aren't nearly enough to prevent anyone from enjoying the story. Sooo yup, good going! Keep at it; you've got a pretty loyal band of readers supporting you throughout this, so it's obviously a story worth keeping an eye on. Hope that's substantial enough!

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  13. #208
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Quote Originally Posted by Shinneth View Post
    Alright, got a chance to sit down and read this from beginning to the current chapter. I'll admit I never once read the old version of the fic, so I'm not familiar with anything similar with the previous story. I'll also go ahead and say I'm not at all a Pokeshipper, nor a Pearlshipper, or even much of a Misty fan (and especially not the idea that she's miserable as a Gym Leader). I sort of have my own headcanon about the aging process in the anime (basically, 1 major region = 1 year), so this rendition is a little hard for me to adjust to.

    Regardless of what I disagree with, you've got some really strong writing on your side, so the ideals that make me flinch really don't sting as much as they would have in an average fic or worse. You at least have a good way of explaining things that otherwise would leave a reader baffled, and while there's an occasional grammar slip-up, it's not nearly to the point that it becomes distracting. The longer chapters you end up having, the easier it is to make a grammar error or even an innocent typo, and I'm speaking from experience. So I can't really fault you on that in all good conscience.

    The battles so far have been exceptionally fun to read, as it's easy to imagine what's going on in your head and it's much more welcoming than a more simplistic approach that I've seen so many other writers do. While it did bug me a little for the first battle that Ash blackmailed Ethan out of using Electric-type attacks... mainly because it struck me as a very un-Ashlike way of strategizing, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt in regards to his possession of the coin at that time, or that something else changed Ash's methods during the 5-year gap from the show's current canon.

    You've got a nice way of executing chilling scenes with the villain. Really shows he's not one to be screwed around with if the threat of money doesn't even faze him. It did hit me (in the prologue especially) that you've got a very detailed way of describing the scenery, but like someone else said earlier, a lot of description and run-on sentences can make it feel like a chore to read at times. It seems to have mellowed down significantly since then, though, which is good. It's tricky to find the perfect balance between minimal detail and an overabundance of it, especially in regards to much less significant details (such as clothing, for example). But really, you seem to have it down at this point, so that's not much of an issue.

    I usually hate stories inundated with OCs and personally only use them for my stories when it's absolutely necessary, but this so far has not been the case, as every OC present seems to serve their purpose well so far without taking over the entire story and pushing the canon cast into the background. That's a good way to go about it... I usually get worried when some get introduced because I often really just don't care for them, but the formula you've got here makes their roles perfectly acceptable.

    So yeah. This fic definitely lives up to the hype. Nice way of thinking out of the box in terms of overall plot, and the flaws present aren't nearly enough to prevent anyone from enjoying the story. Sooo yup, good going! Keep at it; you've got a pretty loyal band of readers supporting you throughout this, so it's obviously a story worth keeping an eye on. Hope that's substantial enough!
    Wow, thanks for the review! And thank you for reading, I appreciate it more than you know!

    I agree with the fact that the beginning of my story is a bit over the top in terms of description, so I've tried to tone that down without compromising my style.

    Anyways, thanks again!

  14. #209
    The Goodnatured Waiter DentoSan's Avatar
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Pretty decent entry, I must say
    "May I take your order?"

  15. #210
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    Default Re: POKEMON: The Power Inside (Chapter 7)

    Here is Chapter 8... PLEASE COMMENT after reading. Comments are the only way I can make this story better. Please, if you take the time to read, might as well take a few extra minutes to post what you think!! I greatly appreciate each and every one of you who reads!! :)






    As the sun began to set on yet another beautiful Sapphire City day, Ash Ketchum sat solemnly on his freshly-made bed inside his guest room. He stared out the nearby window at the gorgeous orange and purple sky just thinking hard about how strange his life up to this point had been.

    Ever since his pokémon journey began over five years ago, the youngster from Pallet Town always seemed to find himself in the middle of something extraordinary. Whether it was encountering mythical pokémon, traveling back in time, or in this case... becoming the proud new owner of some magical gold coin, the boy had certainly experienced enough unbelievable adventures to last three or four lifetimes.

    He rarely thought about exactly how bizarre some of his adventures had been, but anyone who had never met him before would never in a million years believe some of the things Ash had been through. Sometimes, he himself didn't even believe them. Sometimes the memories of his extraordinary experiences seemed like a dream... like they just couldn't be real.

    But as Ash looked down at the shiny gold coin with the five colorful gemstones fixed to its surface, the reality of this latest mystery set in. His thoughts shifted from the past to the present.

    Aside from all the craziness of the past week, when he'd first received this strange gift and learned of its power, Ash was reminded why he was here in the first place: to become a Pokemon Master. It had been his goal ever since he was a little kid.

    He thought about his third and possibly final match of champions league tournament, which was less than an hour away. In just a short while, he would be set to face his new rival in a match that would decide who would move on to the next round, and who would be sent home.

    Ash scowled as he pictured the smug, musclebound jock in his undersized polo shirt with the collar turned up. He saw Zak's arrogant smirk and heard his overly-macho voice. He remembered finding the drunk scumbag forcing himself upon a teenage girl a few nights ago. He remembered how confident the man had sounded in the Pokémon Center lobby following the boy's last match. His brash nature, not to mention the way he treated people made Ash's blood boil.

    He couldn't remember a time when he wanted to win as badly as he wanted to tonight. Ash wanted nothing more than to shut that loudmouth up and send him packing.

    The boy continued to examine the coin, and while doing so, he realized that the key to victory tonight was right in his hand. He remembered the exhilarating feeling of confidence and power he had felt during his first match with Ethan Hart a few days ago, when he had carried the coin into battle with him.

    After that first match, Ash had simply figured that his mystery gift had brought him a bit of innocent good luck, but after the incident in the terrace outside the Pokémon Center later that night, it was clear that this thing was anything but ordinary.

    All he would have to do is put the golden chip in his pocket before he took the field tonight, and hopefully the coin's power would take care of the rest once again. The idea of an automatic victory against Zak started to sound better and better to Ash the more he thought about it. Remembering how excruciatingly painful yesterday's loss to Miss Lacey was, Ash didn't even want to think about how upset he would feel if he let that pompous jerk beat him tonight.


    KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!


    Ash's pondering was interrupted by a soft knock on the front door. He got up off the bed and walked over to answer it, cupping his right hand around the coin so as to shield it from view.

    “Pikapi!” the boy's pokémon cried out as he came bounding into the room when Ash opened the door.

    “Hey Pikachu! You're back.”

    The mouse nodded and leaped up onto the teen's shoulder and greeted him by nuzzling up close to his trainer's face. Ash giggled and stroked the pokémon's fur.

    A pretty young lady with shiny pink hair dressed in white nurse attire walked in after Pikachu with a warm smile on her face. She was carrying two pokéballs, one in each hand.

    “Hi, Nurse Joy,” Ash said with a grin. “Thanks for treating my pokémon. I just wanted to make sure they were well-rested before the match.”

    “No problem, Ash,” the friendly woman replied as she handed the two pokéballs to the boy. “These three are all ready to go.”

    “Pika-Chu!” the cute little mouse flexed its tiny muscles in a comedic pose to show he was ready.

    “Awesome! Pikachu sure looks pumped,” Ash observed with a smile. He chuckled when he saw Pikachu's goofy gesture.

    “Speaking of which, you should probably think about heading down to the field. Your match starts in about a half-hour.”

    “Right,” the boy replied simply, his face instantly becoming more stoic when he remembered his pre-battle dilemma regarding the coin.

    “Okay, Ash. I'll be at the front desk if you need anything else. Good luck tonight.”

    “Thanks again, Nurse.”

    Joy nodded politely before turning and exiting the guestroom.

    When the door shut behind the woman, Ash returned to his seat on his bed. He again looked down to admire the gold coin in he held in his open palm, contemplating whether or not to take it with him tonight.

    “Pikachu, what do you think?” he asked his friend, holding up the coin for his friend to see.

    “Pi?” The electric mouse just stared blankly at the small metal disc, still not knowing exactly what it was or what his trainer was asking about.

    Ash smiled at his lifelong partner. Seeing those big beady black eyes staring back at him made the boy think back to a simpler time in his life, when he and Pikachu had first left Pallet to start off on their own. Since then, the two of them had been through a countless number of battles together... and never once had they wanted or needed help from some magic object, or whatever that coin was.

    Instantly, Ash began to reconsider using the coin tonight against Zak. If it really did have secret powers strong enough to help him to a sure victory, did he really want to use it and win that way? After what Zak did, Ash desperately wanted to see the man suffer a loss... but would it even matter if he did so by cheating? What sort of accomplishment would that be? What about all the hours... days... years of training he and his pokémon had done just to have an opportunity to compete in this tournament?

    Ash wasn't so sure anymore. He heard the faint rumble of the stadium crowd beginning to assemble, and knew he had to come up with a decision fast.


    ***


    The night sky was speckled with twinkling stars as well as the breath-taking sight of the once-in-a-lifetime Millennium Supernova, as it had been dubbed by the astronomy community.

    Ash stood at his end of the concrete battlefield, completely ignoring the beautiful celestial phenomenon. He'd already heard it talked about endlessly on the news, and he'd seen it himself the other night. This wasn't the time for star-gazing.

    Nothing-- not the loud and boisterous murmur of the crowd, not the hundreds of television cameras, not the blinding stadium lights glaring down from above, and not the incredible pressure of the match-- could have caused the young trainer’s focus to waver. Unlike the previous battle, there were no nerves... only an intense desire to leave tonight's match as the victor.

    He glared across the way at Zak Seabrook… that smug, arrogant, overgrown jerk. The man had that cocky grin on his chiseled face, and he was waving to the crowd and flexing his rippling muscles in a gratuitous act of showmanship.

    Ash didn’t even think about the fact that Miss Lacey had defeated Ethan Hart earlier in the day, and that the winner of this match between him and Zak would join her in the second round of the tournament. Right now, he didn’t care about that in the slightest. He didn't need any added motivation to win.

    This was personal.

    Ash adjusted his navy blue baseball cap and looked over impatiently at the referee. When the uniformed man finally signaled the start of the match, the teen wasted no time summoning his first pokémon.

    “Staraptor… Let’s start off with an Aerial Ace!” Ash shouted with more passion and aggressiveness in his voice than usual.

    Like a speeding bullet, the boy’s gray-feathered flying-type shot up into the air. As it soared through the sky, it picked up speed until it was nothing but a blur. Staraptor zoomed towards Zak’s first pokémon, Hitmonchan, and it began to fly circles around it.

    The tan, human-shaped pokémon was obviously confounded by Staraptor’s incredible speed. It tried its best to bat at the bird with its big, red boxing gloves, but hit nothing but air with its powerful swipes. After several missed attempts by Zak's hitmonchan, Staraptor completed its Aerial Ace attack by viciously slashing its opponent with its razor-like talons.

    “Chaaaaaaaan!” the pokémon screamed in pain and fell backwards.

    “Damn it, Hitmonchan! Don’t let that weakling do that to you! Let’s fry that bird with a Thunderpunch!”

    Hitmonchan’s right fist began to glow and spark as it reached back to throw a powerful punch at Staraptor, who had continued to swoop swiftly back and forth across the field like a laser beam.

    “Staraptor, use Agility! Dodge that punch!” Ash commanded from his post, still with a stone-cold serious look on his face.

    The teen’s flying-type looked like a stealth bomber as it again picked up speed. It easily avoided Hitmonchan’s Thunderpunch when it flew up into the air. After the electric attack sailed harmlessly into the atmosphere and dissipated, Staraptor swooped down upon the grounded pokémon and again slashed the fighting boxer across the face with its claws.

    “What’s wrong, Zak? Too fast for you?” Ash shouted over to the man in an antagonistic tone when he saw the anger on his face increase.

    It was clear that Ash’s strategy early on was to utilize Staraptor’s flying ability to gain the edge over Hitmonchan, who was obviously limited to the ground.

    “And it appears as if the speed of Ketchum’s staraptor is giving Seabrook’s hitmonchan trouble early on!”

    Ash tried not to smile when he heard his opponent angrily shout from his end, “You coward! You don’t even have the balls to fight me like a real man, Ketchum! You have to resort to cheap shit like flying!”

    The teen didn’t want to give up on his current strategy, but hearing the man's challenge and his desire to shut Zak up got the better of him. Ash commanded Staraptor to fly down to the field and land.

    “Staraptor, use Close Combat on Hitmonchan! If he wants a fight, we’ll give him one!”

    Zak’s eyes lit up as he was surprised to see that Ash had deviated from his plan. “Hitmonchan, you use Close Combat as well!”

    Following their trainers’ orders, the two pokémon rushed towards each other and engaged in relentless, close-range fisticuffs. Staraptor did its best to claw and peck at Hitmonchan, who countered with several powerful jabs and crosses of its own.

    Even at point-blank range, Hitmonchan was having a hard time pin-pointing its strikes because of Staraptor’s speed and agility. Zak knew he had to do something.

    “Hitmonchan!” he bellowed finally. “Use Focus Blast on that thing!”

    On command, the fighter's beady eyes began to glow bright neon-blue. It locked onto Staraptor who had again flown up high into the air to avoid the attack. But Zak's pokémon kept it squarely in its sights like a sniper locking onto its target from long-range.

    “Now! Combine your Focus Blast with Sky Uppercut and knock that bird out of the air!” Zak commanded.

    Hitmonchan expertly anticipated where Staraptor would swoop and fired a powerful Sky Uppercut beam into the air.

    “Wow, it looks like Hitmonchan has finally locked onto the speedy Staraptor using Focus Blast, and has managed to knock it out of the air! Great move by Seabrook!”

    The yellow beam of energy struck the streaking bird-pokémon head-on, and Ash gasped as he saw it crash to the ground.

    “Staraptor! Are you okay?”

    Its sleek and muscular wings looked heavily damaged and its feathers were ruffled, but it managed to get up slowly.

    “Quickly, Hitmonchan! Another Thunderpunch!” Zak screamed wildly before Ash could react.

    Hitmonchan sprinted toward the crippled pokémon and uncorked another high-voltage punch. This time, it connected squarely with Staraptor, and it let out a high-pitched shriek of agony as it was sent flying from the impact. The black and grey pokémon crash-landed in a heap around midfield. But this time, it would not get up.

    “Staraptor is unable to battle! Hitmonchan is the winner!” the referee’s voice boomed over the loud speakers.

    “Ha! Not so confident now, are you Ketchum?” the brawny tan-skinned man sneered.

    Ash ignored his opponent’s taunting. He returned his fallen friend to its pokéball and sent out his next pokémon without saying a word.

    “Snoooor-Laaaaaaaax!” the new pokémon bellowed once it appeared on the field.

    “Ketchum’s second pokémon will be a snorlax,” the announcer informed the crowd. “Snorlax is one of the kid's most powerful and experienced pokémon…”

    Snorlax yawned. The large, big-bellied beast which Ash had captured years ago looked sleepy as usual, but it was ready to battle.

    “Snorlax, just sit there! Let Hitmonchan make the first move!” the boy called out.

    Zak cautiously obliged. He didn’t know exactly what Ash had up his sleeve, but the muscle-bound man had little choice but to attack.

    “Okay, Hitmonchan! Let's knock that sucker out!”

    Zak’s pokémon, who was visibly tired from having to deal with Staraptor, did its best to throw a punch towards Snorlax’s buxom abdomen, but even a strong fighting-type like Hitmonchan was no match for the sheer girth and strength of one of Ash’s most powerful pokémon. The strong jab that Hitmonchan threw at Snorlax only bounced off its fat belly like it was punching a wall of blubber.

    Hitmonchan and Snorlax exchanged several blows back and forth. The quicker fighting-type was able to dodge many of the sluggish Snorlax’s strikes, but when the sleepy pokémon did make contact, its mighty blows seemed to take a toll on Hitmonchan‘s health.

    The crowd was loving the brutal battle between the two, and the fans could sense the intensity that each of the two pokémon were fighting with.

    Snorlax absorbed each punch easily and eventually retaliated with a devastating Body Slam with its full body-weight behind it. The attack almost crushed Hitmonchan who was left lying on the ground, unconscious.

    “Hitmonchan is unable to battle, Snorlax is the winner!”

    “Good work, Hitmonchan,” Zak commended after he had returned the pokémon to its ball. “Now! I’ll fight size with size! Go…Hippowdon!”

    Zak threw his second pokéball onto the field and Hippowdon, a large, hippo-like creature with brown-skin and a big, black snout appeared. Brown sand trickled out of the large ports located on the ground-type’s dark-grey back and muzzle.

    “Hippowdon! Let's try a Fissure attack!”

    Hippowdon used its tree trunk-sized legs to slam down upon the ground with its enormous weight. A huge crack formed in the middle of the field and began to spread quickly towards where Snorlax was standing.

    Ash’s face remained emotionless even after he saw the impressive display of power.

    The broad-shouldered man noticed this, but didn’t realize why or how Ash could be so calm in the face of such a powerful attack. If Snorlax fell into the deep fissure, it was done for.

    But Zak almost tore his bleached hair out and screamed in anger when he saw what happened next. The attack did crack open the ground right underneath Snorlax, but the huge, round pokémon was simply too big to fall through the narrow fissure. It’s humungous size had saved Snorlax from being hurt by the attack.

    “That Fissure attack won’t work on my snorlax,” Ash shouted. “Now, Snorlax! Let’s show 'em another Body Slam!”

    “Laaaaaaaaaaaax!” the pokémon roared as it flew remarkably fast towards Hippowdon, despite its considerable mass. The attack ended with Snorlax doing a belly flop right on top of Zak's Hippowdon, who grunted in pain and collapsed under the added weight.

    “Oh! What a powerful attack unleashed by Ketchum’s Snorlax!”

    The two intimidatingly massive pokémon continued to duke it out like a pair of sumo wrestlers. There was little strategy being used as the two titans simply exchanged powerful blows back and forth. It was clear after a while, however, that Snorlax was beginning to get the best of Zak's hippowdon.

    Zak gritted his teeth with rage. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, this Ketchum kid and his pokémon were better than he had thought. The man knew he couldn’t win this on brute strength alone. He needed a new strategy.

    “Hippowdon!” Zak finally commanded “Let’s put that sloth to sleep with Yawn!”

    Hippowdon’s gigantic jaws stretched wide open. The huge stadium crowd gasps when they saw the pokémon belch loudly. A large saliva bubble formed from its open mouth and began to float in the air towards Snorlax.

    Before Ash could react, the bubble burst right in Snorlax’s face. And after a few seconds, the effects of the attack began to set in and gravity carried Snorlax to the ground as it drifted off into a deep sleep. The huge beast's belly heaved up and down as it snored loudly.

    “How do you like that, Ketchum?” Zak sounded extremely pleased with himself. “Now you can’t attack!”

    “Is that so?” Ash calmly shouted back. Then he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled even louder so that the sleeping Snorlax would be able to hear. “SNORLAX! USE SLEEP TALK!”

    Somehow, despite being deep in slumber, the kid’s command registered in Snorlax’s brain. It stumbled to its feet and began to sleep-walk towards Hippowdon like a zombie.

    Zak’s gray eyes grew huge. How in the world could a sleeping pokémon attack?

    The burly man didn’t have time to ponder for long, however. He watched as the snoring Snorlax shot towards his battler like a wrecking ball before connecting with a powerful head butt right to Hippowdon‘s face.

    The blow to the head was too much for ground-type, who hadn’t expected its incapacitated opponent to be able to attack. Its legs wobbled and its eyes rolled back before it crashed to the ground in defeat.

    “Hippowdon is unable to battle! Snorlax is the winner! Zak Seabrook has only one pokémon remaining!”

    The crowd erupted when they saw Ash’s attack. Only the most powerful pokémon were able to learn Sleep Talk, which Ash and his Snorlax had demonstrated perfectly.

    “Great job!” Ash said, trying to remain calm. “Just one more pokémon to beat!”

    His obese normal-type pokémon awoke just in time to face Zak's final fighter.

    It was Tentacruel. The same pokémon whose wrath Ash had felt two nights ago. He knew beating it would be the biggest challenge of the match.

    It was extremely powerful, as Ash had experienced first hand. The large, blue jellyfish-like creature promptly bombarded the groggy Snorlax with several powerful stings from its deadly, green tentacles. Snorlax did its best to fend off the poison attacks, but in the end, Tentacruel proved to be fresher than its tuckered out opponent.

    “Finish it with Poison Jab attack!” Zak commanded when it saw that Ash's pokémon was breathing heavily from fatigue.

    Ash could do nothing as he watched Snorlax take a vicious shot to the face from one of Tentacruel's tentacles. Stunned by the poisonous punch, the round monster eventually fell to the ground with such force that his massive body created a crater in the concrete.

    “… And now it all comes down to this, ladies and gentlemen…Tentacruel versus Pikachu. Zak Seabrook's intimidating and deadly poison-type fighting machine against Ash Ketchum’s deceptively cute and cuddly electric mouse.”

    Zak glared at the tiny Pikachu which had made its way onto the field. He looked down at his bandaged forearm, vaguely remembering that it had been that blasted rodent that had bitten him the other night. It was time to make both Ash and Pikachu pay.

    “Alright, Tentacruel! Let’s crush that mouse with Constrict!” Seabrook shouted quickly, eager to gain an early advantage.

    Tentacruel zipped towards Pikachu and managed to capture the speedy electric-type with its many tangling, green tentacles. The diminutive electric-type didn’t struggle even as Tentacruel began to tighten its grasp.

    Ash again remained calm and just eyed the foolish man from across the field. He could barely stop himself from laughing at loud at the enormous blunder Zak had made while being too focused on hurting Pikachu.

    The teen heard Zak tease from across the field, “Hey Ketchum, aren’t you worried I’m going to squeeze the guts out of your little friend here?”

    Ash didn’t even answer. His eyes never left his adversary as he said calmly, “Pikachu, use Thunderbolt.”

    The grin instantly disappeared from Zak's face.

    The tiny rodent, which Tentacruel still had in its clutches like an Arbok suffocating its prey, began to spark before it shot a jolt of powerful electricity all throughout its opponent’s body.

    “Pi-Kaah-CHUUU!”

    Tentacruel’s grasp instantly released Pikachu, and its many tentacles began to wildly wiggle in pain from the shock. Its trainer clenched his fists so hard that his fingernails almost drew blood as they dug into his palms.

    “Tentacruel! Let’s slow that thing down with an Acid attack!” Zak barked, not willing to give up.

    Pikachu tried to dodge Tentacruel’s many spraying shots of thick, black goop which steamed and burned through the concrete field when it made contact. But eventually, one of the black gobs of acid struck Pikachu, and it squealed in pain as the poison seared through its fur and skin.

    “Pikachu! You okay, bud?”

    “Pi-Kah!”

    The determined little pokémon nodded, although it was clear that the poison, which was now coursing through his bloodstream, was beginning to take effect. Pikachu’s stumpy legs wobbled as it tried to continue to dart around the field. Its speed had definitely had diminished considerably.

    “Ha! Now we got them, Tentacruel! Let’s keep it up! Poison Jab!”

    Several of the pokémon’s long, slithering appendages began to glow a sickening purple color as they shot towards the crippled Pikachu, obviously looking to inflict more damage.

    “Quick, Pikachu! Use Volt Tackle!”

    Pikachu’s entire body became engulfed in a powerful yellow aura as it sprinted directly towards Tentacruel’s flying tentacles.

    “Pikah-Pikah-Pikah-Pikah-Pikaaaaaaaaaah!” Pikachu mustered up all the energy it could as it increased its speed.

    The poison jab attack struck the blazing yellow blur, but simply bounced harmlessly off of it when the attack came into contact with the high-voltage electricity. Pikachu continued to sprint until it reached Tentacruel and finished the attack with a strong head butt to the poison-type’s body.

    The Volt Tackle had even managed to put a crack in one of Tentacruel’s shiny, red crystal spheres which were located on the top of its body.

    The crowd applauded the effort from Pikachu, who was still visibly laboring following the acid attack. It was heavily panting and looked woozy.

    “Hang in there, Buddy! You’re doin' great!” Ash cheered his friend on.

    The two pokémon continued to trade strikes back and forth. Pikachu more than made up for the poison it had endured with its incredible determination. It desperately wanted to win this battle for Ash.

    Tension in the stadium was definitely building. It was clear that the match would end any second now. Both pokémon appeared on the verge of fainting, and the crowd was collectively on the end of their seats as they waited to see which fighter would prevail.

    Zak again demonstrated extreme frustration. He and everyone in the stadium could plainly see that Pikachu didn’t have much energy left, but for some reason he couldn’t end the battle. Tentacruel looked frustrated as well.

    “Tentacruel, it’s time to finish this!” Zak finally shouted. “Use Hyperbeam! That puny Pikachu is too weak to dodge it!”

    The two ruby red spheres on top of Tentacruel’s ‘face,’ which Pikachu had already managed to partially crack, began to glow brightly. With a large roar, the monster mustered up every last ounce of strength in its body to fire a huge beam of multicolored energy towards the little mouse.

    The boy flinched ever so slightly when he saw the familiar sight of the Hyperbeam hurtling towards them, but he forced himself to stay strong. He knew his pikachu was much too exhausted at this point to dodge the attack... Ash had only one play. He knew it was risky because it would be the last attack Pikachu would be able to manage. If it didn't work, they would lose.

    “Pikachu! One last Thunderbolt!”

    With the last bit of his remaining energy, the tiny electric-type grunted and discharged a huge lightning bolt of electricity, which zoomed towards the on-coming Hyperbeam. The deafening roar of the thunder accompanied the yellow beam of power.

    The two attacks zinged through the air and collided violently like two speeding trains traveling opposite directions. Upon impact, the two powerful beams combined to form an enormous explosion of energy, nearly blinding everyone in attendance. A huge mushroom cloud of light dwarfed the brightness of the stadium lights, causing the crowd to gasp at the incredible amount of power the two competitors had produced.

    Ash shielded his eyes from the blinding light of the explosion. He couldn't see Pikachu or Tentacruel. He didn't know who had won, but he was sure that the match was over.

    When the dust settled, both pokémon were visibly wounded. Both Pikachu and Tentacruel were charred black from the attack, and both were wearing many cuts and scraps on their bodies. The two battlers were gasping for air and looked ready to faint.

    It was like the entire stadium went silent at that moment. Ash never took his eyes off his little buddy, hoping and praying that he was all right. The boy held his breath. He felt his heart exploding in his chest from all the excitement.

    Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the teen could barely believe his eyes when he saw Zak Seabrook's tentacruel collapse and fall to the ground like a sack of potatoes. It was like slow motion, watching the fierce water-type jellyfish crash to the concrete.

    Pikachu, who looked equally as drained and punch-drunk, wobbled around on his stumpy hind legs, but managed to stay conscious long enough to hear the referee's booming voice over the stadium's sound system.

    “Seabrook's tentacruel is unable to battle! Pikachu is the winner! The match goes to the red trainer, Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town!”

    Uncontrollable joy overtook Ash. The exhilarating feeling started in the boy's fingertips and instantly flowed through his entire body like he had just jammed a butter knife into an electrical socket. He couldn't even hear the crowd's roar or the stadium announcer's yelling... the only thing Ash could think about was how admirably Pikachu had battled.

    He started to walk towards his exhausted friend who had just won the biggest battle of their lives for them. A huge smile began to stretch across the boy's face as the fact that they had won and advanced to the next round finally sunk in.

    Ash was so ecstatic as he reached midfield that he didn't even notice the crowd suddenly go into a stunned silence. Three loud booming sounds followed.

    Before the boy knew it, he was flat on his back, lying on the concrete just like the fainted Tentacruel. Pikachu, who still looked burnt out, was by his side with a look of grave concern in his black eyes.

    "Pikapi!!"

    Ash had no idea what was going on or why he had suddenly decided to lie down. He was still feeling very light-headed from all the excitement of the amazing battle.

    The boy reached down to his heaving stomach where he strangely felt a sense of intense pain. The front of his black t-shirt felt oddly wet. When the boy looked at his hand, he was shocked to see it was covered in a red, sticky substance. He didn't know what it was, or what was happening.

    All he knew was that he suddenly felt extremely tired. He fought the urge, but eventually his heavy eyelids began to droop to a close.

    The huge stadium crowd was still completely silent besides a few isolated gasps and screams. Everyone watching was too shocked at what had just transpired to speak.


    ____


    Chapter 9 coming soon! PLEASE COMMENT ON WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF chapter 8! Pretty please :)
    Last edited by Legacy; 9th June 2010 at 02:43 AM.

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