I just finished reading this from the beginning, and you can truly see how much you've helped your writing and plotline. Though at the beginning people were focusing on grammar, the whole storyline was great. Though, one small problem... Can be a learning experience.
Problem ~ Two completely different pokemon.“Go Garchomp” the pokéball opened and Bryan’s Marshtomp came out and looked over at Nosepass.
Learning experience ~ I had no idea that there were two rhyming pokemon.
Another thing that you never fixed...
Even if you say "Ashian said", you need to put punctuation.“Go Garchomp!” the pokéball opened and Bryan’s Marshtomp came out and looked over at Nosepass.
"I really need to get to Vermilion!" Ashian said, though slightly angry.
Or, to fragment something...
"My Pokemon are hurt," Ashian said worriedly. "so I need to get the healed."
There would be a comma, "Person, communication", uncapitalized, finish the sentence, end quotes.
Anyway, I am really enjoying this.
New Generation readers +1.