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  1. #31
    Chaos in Thunder Shadow Raikou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenMuk View Post
    Awesome! This story is coming along quite nicely. I wasnt expecting Lilycove to blow up...it was a nice shock.
    That stupid Hex Maniac deserves it for not liking Absol. :P

    Cant wait to see whats next. Does Aura get any more Pokemon?
    Same here. All That Lilycove and hex maniac is same here. I also am asking the same question that Does she get any new pokes? I really wanted sableye to be... the next turn would be that Winona kills sableye for helping aura and absol.

    They should make all quadruple Pokemon ride able along with Gogoat.

  2. #32
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Thanks again for the support guys.
    Aura will get a new Pokémon. Originally I wanted her just to have Absol, but then I realised that it would be hard for her to achieve her goal with just one Pokémon.
    And the next chapter is halfway done.

  3. #33
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Chapter 6
    THE BATTLE BEGINS


    Aura was surprised when Sableye returned with water and food. She quickly recovered her energy and spared some food for Absol. Sableye then followed Aura wherever she went as she searched for a way to exit the cave. Although Aura found it weird, she realized that she now has two Pokémon under her command.

    “Where do you think you’re going?” Aura turned around to see the same individual that called Absol a sign of doom. “Do you think you can escape easily?”

    “You’re alive?” Aura was surprise; she had presumed she died in the explosion.

    “Of course I am,” The female that once seemed crazy laughed. “I have always been on Winona’s side. I have chosen the winning side, and I am not about to let you escape. You will be put to death by me.”

    Absol jumped in front of Aura, ready to defend her with his life.

    “So it’s a battle for your life,” She laughed. “I, Tammy, accept the challenge. I choose Duskull as my first Pokémon!”

    Tammy threw down a Pokéball that exploded to reveal a Pokémon seemingly covered in a black cloak, she had a skull for a face with a single eye floating behind the eye sockets.

    “Confuse Ray!” Tammy laughed; she was certain of her victory. Duskull’s eye started glowing and became a bright shade of red. It shot a purple beam of light towards Absol and managed to hit it.

    Absol looked at Aura, waiting for orders. Aura had only battled with Absol once before, and it was against her father years ago. “Use Bite!” Aura finally gave an order, and Absol ran towards the Duskull, wrapped his jaws around her and started squeezing.

    “Confuse Ray didn’t work this time,” Tammy said. “But you will die! Payback!”

    Duskull flew forward, ignoring Absol and heading straight towards Aura. Absol recognized this too late, but it started running after Duskull as fast as it can. There were mere inches between Duskull and Aura when Sableye jumped and slashed at Duskull with his left arm. Duskull fell back in pain and froze on the ground. By this time, Absol had reached her and bit her again, then threw her back at Tammy, before running towards her.

    “What are you doing?!” Tammy shouted in fear. “Stay back! N-no! Stay back!”

    Tammy’s cries were in vain. Absol’s eyes were filled with murder. His forearms glowed with a bright blue color, and as he ran towards Tammy, the ground beneath him would suffer many cuts.

    Aura froze with fear. Although she couldn’t see Absol’s face, she knew he intended on killing Tammy. And before she could react to the situation, Absol sliced at Tammy and severed her head, blood gushed all over the walls of the cave and Absol’s face. Duskull tried to get away but faced the same destiny.

    Sableye ran towards Tammy and started eating the crystal ball she had hidden in her clothes. Aura looked at the pair of Pokémon in astonishment. Her father had taught her that Pokémon are amazing creatures, but all she saw was monsters.

    Absol walked slowly back towards Aura, his white fur still dripping with blood, and indicated that she should follow him. Absol walked past the dead bodies, followed by Aura. The sound of the pools of blood beneath them reminded Aura of the horrible sight at Fortree. She felt herself about to faint, but held herself together in fear of falling and getting covered by blood.

    Sableye followed them, still munching at the crystal ball which was slightly covered in blood. The group walked back the way Tammy had come from, and found themselves in a bright wide cave that Aura had only seen in photos as a child, Meteor Falls.

    Aura, Absol, and Sableye walked around for a few minutes, searching for an exit. Aura had quickly forgotten about the decapitated body of Tammy and the dead Duskull they left behind, and focused more about her grandmother. She hoped that she was alive, but doubted it. As much as Aura wanted to cry, she had to pull herself together and find an exit.

    “Are you lost?” A male voice came from Aura’s side. She twisted her neck left and looked at the person standing a few meters away from her, and immediately recognized him, the most recognizable person in Hoenn, Steven Stone.

    “I assume you know who I am,” Steven laughed and smiled at Aura. “I can help you find your way out.”

    Suddenly, all of Aura’s senses returned to her and she managed to think rationally once again. “How can I trust you?” She put her guard up and Absol seemed to notice this. “You and many others want me dead.”

    Steven’s smile faded slowly. “I don’t want you dead,” He said. “I may be on their side, but I’m not a killer.”

    “Then how do you explain Fortree and Lilycove?” Aura’s rage began to build up, and she could feel her body becoming tenser. “As well as many others. I read some of the documents, I know what’s going on.”

    “Those weren’t my decisions,” He said. “I’m not the man in charge. I never was. You might think I’m the strongest trainer in Hoenn, but I have no power in my hand. They control every move I make. Which is why I took shelter in this cave. I didn’t want to be their puppet anymore. I can help you if you let me.”

    “I don’t believe you,” Aura’s voice filled with all her anger. “I’m not going to let you get away with killing all of those people!”

    As soon as Aura’s voice hinted at the anger she was feeling, Absol dashed towards Steven, aiming to kill him just as he killed Tammy. Halfway to Steven, Absol was hit by a golden punch that came from a blue tank like Pokémon, Metagross.

    The punch managed to send Absol flying to the left, his blood gushing out of his side, and his scream filled with pain and anguish. “You don’t have to believe me,” Steven said as he jumped onto Metagross’ back. “But I will protect myself.” Metagross dashed through a wall, the force made the wall collapse and the hole they went through collapsed after them, closing the tunnel behind them.
    Last edited by Kyuuketsuki; 1st December 2010 at 05:25 PM.

  4. #34
    Chaos in Thunder Shadow Raikou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Shes nuts. The champions are the most trustable people in the pokemon world. i dunno abt adeku, but i guess he must be, leaving out the two rivals and n. Anyways, great chap.. i guess. now i am sick of all those killing and blood whch are in most of the fics at writers workshop. I say run to another forum since a large wave of red water is gonna flood this one.

    They should make all quadruple Pokemon ride able along with Gogoat.

  5. #35
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Shadow Raikou, this is the second time I've seen you complain about content today. The fic is very clear rated as R material. If you do not like the content of a fic, then please stop reading the fic. Critiques of fics are always welcome, but what you are doing is not critiquing.

    That goes for any other reader of any fic.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  6. #36
    Chaos in Thunder Shadow Raikou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Did i say stop doing that? did i? i'm just sick... if you think thats .. i dunno what do you mean. i am not complaing. also, there are not mistakes to review, only this that...

    By this time, Absol had reached her and bit her again, then threw her back at Tammy, before running towards her.
    Thats quite... Confusing. for me. also... i think aura should capture the two in pokeballs.

    They should make all quadruple Pokemon ride able along with Gogoat.

  7. #37
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Thanks for the feedback.
    The reason there is so much blood in the story is because I never intended it to be kid-friendly. I knew that the main character will have to suffer a lot and see horrible scenes to make reaching her goal even harder.
    And I don't think I'm going to include Pokéballs in this fic, because then I wouldn't be able to give the Pokémon enough time for developing their characters.

  8. #38
    I! AM NOT! A MORON! Sith Droideka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Why is Winona killing people? I'm hooked now. I need to find out. Perhaps once this gets along far enough Dusknoir will send some pokémon to observe this world.

    I hope Aura succeeds in her quest, too. Especially since some of my favorite pokémon ever are being used by her.
    ALL Pokémon Are EQUAL, But SOME Pokémon Are MORE EQUAL Than Others

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  9. #39
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Chapter 7
    A SMALL SACRIFICE


    After hours of wandering, Aura and her Pokémon managed to exit Meteor Falls and were face by Route 14. They crossed the route and eventually found themselves at Fallarbor Town, a small town known for being near Mt. Chimney.

    “You’re the girl from the news,” A boy appeared in front of Aura by jumping from behind one of the houses. She barely managed to avoid crashing into him. “Aren’t you the one that was in Fortree and Lilycove before they exploded?”

    Aura’s mind was overwhelmed by possibilities. What if Fallarbor is next? What if this person turns her in? What if some crazy citizen like Tammy sentenced her to death? Could this be the end for her? It was luck that kept her alive while everyone around died.

    “Don’t worry,” The dark haired boy said. “You’re safe here. Most citizens of this town are wanted by the International Police for crimes we didn’t commit.”

    “What?” Aura couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re lying to me.”

    “You don’t have to believe me,” The boy laughed, he was about Aura’s age and slightly taller than her. “But you can ask everyone else in this town.”

    “Prove it,” Aura challenged him. “How do I know you aren’t working for them?”

    “Because I won’t turn you in,” He started. “Because I knew you weren’t dead even though the International Police announced it.”

    “If what you’re saying is true,” Aura said. “Then why is this town still standing? Why weren’t you destroyed?”

    “Because this town existed long before you came into the story,” He laughed. “They didn’t destroy it because it would have been too obvious and people will start asking questions. They found you to blame and destroyed Fortree and Lilycove; they can’t destroy Fallarbor now that you’re “dead”. And you never passed here, that’s what the Hoenn people believe.”

    Even though the situation was overwhelming, Aura could still make sense of what he was saying. “My name is Von,” He said. “You’re safe here.”

    “I’ll ask you a question,” Aura said. “If you answer it correctly, then I’ll believe you. Why is Winona doing this and who is helping her besides the International Police? I read some of the documents and I know the answers.”

    “She wants to change Hoenn,” Von replied confidently. “She’s being helped by the Elite 4, Gym Leaders, Team Magma, Team Aqua and many individuals who are hidden and hold no high status in this region, as well as the Mossdeep Space Center, which is why they didn’t kill everyone in Mossdeep in the same manner as Fortree and Lilycove.”

    “That’s actually correct,” Aura was surprised. She was happy that she was no longer alone. “That still doesn’t explain why they didn’t kill you guys.”

    “Even though most of us here are like you, there are people who are innocent living here, who don’t know about us,” Von took a pause to look around, seemingly to admire the town. “They will do it however. It is their goal to rebuild Hoenn; they were just taking it slowly until you showed up. But now you’re “dead” and they’ll have to find another excuse to do what they want to.”

    “Why aren’t you fighting them? Why are you just hiding in a town away from them?”

    “We are fighting them,” Von said, his voice filled with determination. “Let’s go somewhere else, you should meet the others.”

    Aura followed Von without question to a small house. As they walked, Aura noticed a spot in the sky following them. She worried for a moment that she was found. They must have found Tammy’s body and concluded that she escaped. Her body wasn’t there anyway, it was no question whither she was still alive or dead.

    The dot descended and slowly came into shape. It was a bird like Pokémon with a body of feathers that were so sharp they resembled steel and a long neck. Her tail resembled Absol’s slightly and the wings had some red feathers underneath the steel like blades.

    “That’s my Pokémon,” Von said. “She’s a Skarmory.”

    They entered the house, and three people standing in one line formally greeted Aura.

    “Aura, meet three of our five leaders,” Von started to introduce them. “Enya, Ernest, and Priela.”

    Enya’s eyes were filled with determination. Her hair was striking red and the combination with her pale white skin made it look like as if it was on fire. She was dressed in a white shirt covered by her unzipped red jacket with equally red leather pants. “Welcome Aura,” Her voice took Aura by surprise; it was filled with anger. “I hope you can help us in our quest.”

    Aura nodded at Enya before moving on to study Ernest. His brown hair covered most of his eyes, which were half closed. His features showed indifference, as opposed to Enya. His outfit was composed of a coat that seemed too thick for this weather, a scarf and regular jeans, all of which were bland colors. He simply lowered his head and raised it slowly to greet Aura. She did the same.

    “I have finally met you!” Priela exclaimed, immediately shifting Aura’s attention to the youngest person in the room. “I’m Priela!” The girl was very young. She couldn’t be older than fifteen years. He hair was cut short and blonde, her eyes a typical color of blue, and her dress a pink one normal for what a girl her age would wear had she didn’t know all about the horrors of this world.

    “Nice to meet you all,” Aura responded. “You said these are three of the leaders. Who are the other two?” Aura asked Von who joined the other three and they all sat down at the table in the center of the room.

    “I’m the fourth,” Von said. “The fifth, and our leader as well, have gone on a “mission”. He told us not to tell anyone his name until he returns. We don’t even know where he went.”

    “Why don’t you sit down,” Ernest said in a cold voice. “We can tell you of all our progress so far.”

    Aura turned around to look at Skarmory, who was nowhere to be seen. She guessed he was guarding the house from above. And with a clear mind, she sat down at the fifth and only empty chair.

  10. #40
    T3R3Z1 gallowsCalibrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Well this is certainly getting somewhere now! I like the way no-one seems to use Pokeballs in this. I know if I was a trainer, Id have my Pokemon out most of the time. Plus, as you say, its easier for character development.

    Im still not 100% sure why Interpol is so determined to kill Aura, though. Is it simply because she survived the Fortree attack, or is there another reason?

    Either way, Im hooked on this! Cant wait to read more of it. Great work.

  11. #41
    I! AM NOT! A MORON! Sith Droideka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Interpol has probably been tricked by the Hoenn Association into doing this. What I don't see is Norman, Flannery, Wattson, and perhaps Brawley or Juan wanting to remake Hoenn. Plus, you'd think they would be helping in the search for Kyogre and Groudon. Those two can murder any city very easily.
    ALL Pokémon Are EQUAL, But SOME Pokémon Are MORE EQUAL Than Others

    Oceania is at war with Eurasia Eastasia Eurasia Eastasia, and has always been at war with them!

    WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. GOD IS POWER.

    Next PolySci/Econ Test: November 8, 2016; Your crash-course will begin January 2013.

    Galvantula ≥ Kyurem > Mewtwo > Arceus

  12. #42
    Chaos in Thunder Shadow Raikou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    I'm 101% sure that the leader is an official character. or maybe... maybe... aura becomes?

    They should make all quadruple Pokemon ride able along with Gogoat.

  13. #43
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenMuk View Post
    Well this is certainly getting somewhere now! I like the way no-one seems to use Pokeballs in this. I know if I was a trainer, Id have my Pokemon out most of the time. Plus, as you say, its easier for character development.

    Im still not 100% sure why Interpol is so determined to kill Aura, though. Is it simply because she survived the Fortree attack, or is there another reason?

    Either way, Im hooked on this! Cant wait to read more of it. Great work.
    Thanks for the support. And yes, it is for character development, but there will be some people who use Pokéballs, but not as much as they are usually used. Some main characters even use them, but they will have their Pokémon out most of the time. There's no reason to kill Aura but the fact that she survived the attack, she's not special to them or anything, just someone who found out about them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith Droideka View Post
    Interpol has probably been tricked by the Hoenn Association into doing this. What I don't see is Norman, Flannery, Wattson, and perhaps Brawley or Juan wanting to remake Hoenn. Plus, you'd think they would be helping in the search for Kyogre and Groudon. Those two can murder any city very easily.
    Keep in mind, you don't know how they are destroying the cities ;). As for Groudon and Kyogre, I think I said Magm and Aqua are helping... *goes to check* yeah they are there. I should've clarified more, but that's what I wanted the reader to get. Magma and Aqua are working together with all these people to make a new Hoenn. Magma's and Aqua's goal has always been to find these Pokémon to make more land/sea. :) It's my fault, should've clarified more. As for Norman and the other gym leaders, Winona turned out to be a horrible person, they could be acting as well... I have a habit of twisting character's around...

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Raikou View Post
    I'm 101% sure that the leader is an official character. or maybe... maybe... aura becomes?
    I will only give you hints:


    Once again, thanks for the support everyone. This is my first fic ever that I get such positive responses for from all forums I've been in. The next chapter is already written, it will be posted sometime later today (in UK time).

    I am a bit worried though... the next four chapters don't really progress the story at all...

  14. #44
    Chaos in Thunder Shadow Raikou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    For Sure, Steven is in grave Danger alredy, The Leader probably died (maybe), or aura is to become the leader. or maybe these guys are interpol acting to get aura's trust and lock her up.

    They should make all quadruple Pokemon ride able along with Gogoat.

  15. #45
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Chapter 8
    THE FIERY SPIRIT WITHIN


    It was another sunny day in Lavaridge Town. Everyone was walking about attending to their own business, except for Enya. The teenager was training her Numel against Flannery’s Torkoal. Numel has lost so many times, but was slowly getting stronger.

    “You’re never going to a strong trainer if you don’t utilize the full potentials of your Pokémon!” Flannery’s speech was full of insults with an encouragement under layer.

    “I know that.” Enya’s replies were defensive and were hardly heard by Flannery.

    “Why don’t you raise your voice, I can hardly hear you!” Flannery shouted. “How do you expect to be a good trainer if you can’t even command your Pokémon to do anything by your weak voice!”

    “I said I know that!” Enya shouted. “ Numel, use Ember!”

    Numel shot a few blobs of fire at Torkoal, and they hardly damaged her. A Rapid Spin that Flannery ordered managed to knock Numel out.

    “You still have a lot of training to do,” Flannery said. “I will return to the gym now, someone might challenge me. We’ll meet again tomorrow.”

    “Thank you,” Enya said. “I will try my hardest.” She bowed only to be hit across the head by Flannery.

    “Don’t be polite!” She shouted at Enya. “It gets you nowhere!”

    “How did you get here so fast?” Enya said. Flannery was very far away from her.

    “Who cares?” Flannery laughed. “Let’s go, Torkoal. We’ve got some challengers to beat!”

    Flannery ran with swift speed towards her gym, followed by Torkoal, who was slow compared to Flannery.

    “Are you okay, Numel?” Enya shifted her attention to her first Pokémon, who nodded in response. “Let’s go back home.” Enya withdrew Numel back into the Pokéball, and strolled back to her house.

    “I’m home,” Enya announced as soon as she opened the door to her house. “Mom, are you here?”

    “Yes,” Her mother responded. “I’m in the kitchen.”

    Enya entered the kitchen to see her mother making a pie. “Your father will come home today, he’s bringing a friend.”

    “But we only see him about twice a week,” Enya protested. “Why does he have to bring someone here most of the time!”

    “It’s someone he’s working with,” Her mother responded, and was soon interrupted by the bell. “It must be them.”

    The mother let her husband and his friend in. “Claude, you didn’t tell me it was Maxie!” Her mother exclaimed in surprise. “It’s so nice to meet you again. How have you been?”

    At this point, Enya decided to go to her room. She never liked Maxie, as she found him too weird and creepy.

    The rest of the day was typical. Her parents and the guest talking about stuff that she didn’t care about, Enya talking to Numel, and finally going to sleep.

    Enya woke up earlier than usual, and was determined to go train before she could meet Flannery for a battle or two. She headed out to Route 112, but to her surprise, Flannery was already there, talking to Maxie. Enya couldn’t help but eavesdrop.

    “Are you sure?” Flannery said. “Did they really find it?”

    “It was Claude who found it,” Maxie said. “But we still need his research. We can’t do it without him. We can’t even take it by force; it is against the rules of the Space Center.”

    “Then it’s simple,” Flannery said. “We kill him.” Enya gasped and struggled to cover her mouth. “Most of the people there are already working for us, we don’t need to keep him alive.”

    “You take care of it,” Maxie said. “I’ll go back to my work.”

    Enya didn’t have the courage to face Flannery. She ran back home, hoping to warn her father before he gets killed. She barged into her house. Claude had packed his bags and was already leaving.

    “Come here, Enya.” Claude smiled. “Give me a hug.”

    “Dad,” Enya said, panting for breath. “You have to get away.”

    “Don’t talk to your father like that!” Her mother ran towards her and slapped her. “I told you, it was already in the past!”

    Claude and Enya were both surprised by this slap. They had agreed not to talk about the past, but they couldn’t believe that the one person who was the most committed to this family would resort to violence so easily.

    And before anyone could react, the door is forced open, and Flannery stood with confidence. “Enya,” Flannery started. “You were supposed to meet me at Route 112. And next time, try to run without making noises and exposing yourself.”

    “What are you talking about?” Enya’s mother asked.

    “I’m afraid you won’t find out,” Flannery laughed as she sent Torkoal out of her Pokéball. “You will all die.”

    “Not if I can help it!” Enya’s voice filled with anger as she out Numel. “I won’t let you take everyone down so easily!”

    “Rapid Spin!” Flannery ordered. Torkoal’s attack threw Numel all the way across the room. “You can never win! You will die here Enya!”

    Numel jumped in front of Enya in no time. The speed in which he got from one end to another was astounding. “I see you won’t give up easily,” Flannery said. “You will still die.”

    The door behind Flannery closed. The grass outside the house shook a little due to the strong slam. Outside the house stood a single figure, Maxie. He held up a device and talked into it. “Flannery managed to go through with it,” He said as the house went up in flames. “We underestimated her.”

    An explosion soon followed it. Maxie was knocked back and Flannery came flying out of the house, and rolled in the grass, damaging her greatly, and causing her to bleed a little out of her arm. “Numel evolved!” She screamed. “It evolved and almost killed me!”

    “What about Claude and his family?” Maxie didn’t care about Flannery’s safety.

    “Enya got away,” Flannery started smiling. “I managed to kill her parents though.”

    “And the research?” Maxie asked. “Did you take it or did it burn?”

    Flannery’s smile faded away. She opened her mouth in hesitation to say something, but was met by a slap from Maxie. “You idiot,” He said in anger as Flannery bled from her jaws. “Cover this up. Enya killed her parents. You tried to stop her.”

    Maxie disappeared from the scene. It was still early in the morning, but citizens exited their homes after a few minutes of the explosion and gathered around Flannery while the fire was put out. The story was soon spread that Enya had killed both her parents, tried to kill Flannery, and attempted to burn down Lavaridge Town.

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