MATURE: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City

Page 1 of 12 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 172

Thread: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City

  1. #1
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City

    Index
    WHERE IT WILL END
    THE LOSS
    A NEW PATH
    THE SECRET ENEMY
    AGAINST ALL ODDS
    THE BATTLE BEGINS
    A SMALL SACRIFICE
    THE FIERY SPIRIT WITHIN
    THE BROKEN
    THE SUCCESSOR TO ALL
    DAWN OF A NEW BATTLE
    ALIVE AND RUNNING
    OUT OF LUCK
    THE BROKEN (part two)
    PROTECTING RULER
    REMEETING
    WHEN WE'RE FREE
    WEAK
    A NEW TEAM
    HOPE FOR LIFE
    HOPEFUL LIFE
    BATTLES REPLACED BY WAR
    TRUTH AND LIES
    REVENGE
    LOSSES
    THE NEW AURA
    THE SUCCESSOR TO ALL (part two)
    FREE
    THE YEAR (part one)
    AURA'S FINALE (part one)
    THE YEAR (part two)
    AURA'S FINALE (part two)
    AURA'S FINALE (part three)

    Chapter 1
    WHERE IT WILL END


    Fortree City, the treetop city that frolics with nature. It is one of the most recognizable cities in the Hoenn region, if not the entire Pokémon world. Built atop trees, the residents of this marvelous city live in treehouses that are connected together by simple rope bridges. The residents live a healthy life, and they chose not to destroy nature in order to build the city. The rains have made the trees covering the city some of the longest. It was the perfect stop for nature lovers.

    The houses are hollowed out barks of the giant trees. The roof is also made out of the same bark, but it usually covered with leaves to prevent rainwater from coming in. Inside one of those houses, a sixteen year old lives with her mother. She was lying on her bed, giving at the perfectly carved wooden ceiling with her wide green eyes. Her white hair blew with every wind that came through the open window. Her skin was slightly darker than that of the other residents.

    “Aura,” Her mother entered the room, she had an ordinary mother look. Her blue eyes were hiding behind her medical glasses, while her short brown hair was stiff and unshaken by the wind. She was clothed in a pink dress that moved at the slightest hint of a wind or movement. “The food is ready.” She said before exiting the room, gently closing the door behind her.

    Aura raised her legs up into the air, and then descended them down with great speed. They bounced off of the mattress, causing her entire body to get up and stand at the edge of the bed. She adjusted her white short dress, slipped on her black striped gloves, which matched her socks, and tied her skirt on. The last installment to her outfit was a grey scarf, and a bandana.

    “Let us go, Absol.” Aura addressed the Pokémon lying on the side of the bed, facing the window. The Pokémon was covered in soft white fur, and a ruff had covered the Pokémon’s chest and neck, keeping it warm during the rainy nights. What seemed like a blade was placed on the side of his head. He opened his hot red eyes and followed Aura.

    Absol’s feline body moved in a graceful and slow manner around the wooden house behind Aura. Aura’s walk was confident and covered a lot of space in few steps. The pair reached their dining room, where a small table was placed in the center, with assortments of fresh fruit on top of it. Her mother entered the room from the enterance opposite the right of the table, with her hand carrying two plates that had some mashed berries on them, it was her mother’s signature recipe.

    She placed the plates on the table, went back through the door she came from, and returned carrying a food bowl full of assortments of berries, as Absol had no preference.
    Aura waited for her mother to take seat first, out of respect. Then sat down on the chair opposite her mother’s. Absol was standing by his bowl, waiting for the pair to start their meal before he started his.

    “How was work today?” Katherine, Aura’s mother, asked. She has stopped working and Aura was taking over the role of the breadwinner.

    “Like any other day,” Aura replied. “I think it will get easier with time.”

    Katherine picked up her utensils, and Aura did the same. The pair started eating slowly at the same time, and Absol started eating his food as well.

    “I am thinking of visiting your grandparents in Mossdeep City,” Katherine said as soon as she swallowed her food. “I will not leave if you need me here.”

    “I can manage,” Aura replied as she finished the food that was in her mouth. “Tell them I said hi.”

    Absol looked around the room; it was a habit of his. Aura’s father had instructed him to look after the pair before he passed away. After reassuring himself that everything and everyone was safe, he returned to the food bowl that was before him.

    “I will leave first thing in the morning,” Katherine said. “Take good care of the house while I am gone.”

    “I will,” Aura replied. “Do you need Absol with you?”

    “No,” Katherine said as she looked down to glance at what many professional trainers referred to as the “Disaster Pokémon”, she then smiled. “He can stay here with you.”

    The rest of the meal passed without any conversation. Ever since her father had died in a flood a little over a year ago, Aura had become very serious and lost the free spirited soul she once had. Katherine was struck down by his death, and she was hospitalized for almost three months. Absol was his only Pokémon, and now Aura had inherited him, even though it obeyed Katherine just as much as he obeyed Aura.

    For over a year now, the household had become a cold existence for all the residents. None of them had gotten over Adrian’s death. He had played the biggest part in the family, and was the soul of it. After finishing the meal, Aura thanked her mother for the food, and asked to be excused to her room. Aura left the room and went back into her own room, Absol followed after a few minutes. She retired to her bed after changing to her sleeping gown and brushing her teeth.

    The long night descended and Absol went to sleep in the same place where he does every night, by the bed. The night was filled with the faint howling on the Mightyena, but the citizens of Fortree were accustomed to them.

    The alarm clock woke Aura up. She turned it off and did her morning routines, and finally changed to her normal clothing. She got ready to go to work, and she guessed that her mother had left for Mossdeep City.

    A weak rumble shock the treehouse, but Aura guessed that the wind had rocked the tree bark. Her guess was soon forgotten as the house shock more violently. Aura exited the treehouse and looked out onto the city.

    Chaos and destruction was wreaking the city from the edges. Aura climbed down the ladder that was leading to her house. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Absol jumped the distance that she had climbed down. As the earthquake got more violent, many houses started collapsing onto themselves.

    Before Aura could analyze what was happening, Absol picked her up and ran out of the city and onto Route 120. His legs barely making any sound as they connected with the grass

    “What is going on?” Aura asked Absol. Absol just looked at her in a confused look, he didn’t know what was happening, he just feared for Aura’s safety.

    Before she could ask any further questions, the city suddenly exploded from the inside out, sending a roaring gust of wind towards Aura, knocking her onto her back. It was soon followed by a roar and another explosion, which sent Aura flying towards the trees. The clash would have been damaging had Absol not caught Aura before she hit the trees.

    Everything became calm. Aura got up and didn’t bother dusting off her clothes, she ran towards the city, which was now in ruins. Dead bodies were scattered around the leftovers of her city. Blood was almost everywhere. The sight disgusted Aura. There was no way any one had survived the blast. Fortree City was no more.
    Last edited by Kyuuketsuki; 14th March 2011 at 02:26 PM.

  2. #2
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    5,658
    Blog Entries
    108

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    The word "money provider" sounds a little awkward - I think you meant "breadwinner" there.

    Besides that, though, it seems okay. Not much plot yet but that's because it's the first chapter. You do set up the initial premise, though.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  3. #3
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by Zodiac View Post
    The word "money provider" sounds a little awkward - I think you meant "breadwinner" there.

    Besides that, though, it seems okay. Not much plot yet but that's because it's the first chapter. You do set up the initial premise, though.
    Edited. Thanks for the advice of changing it, I actually learned a new term today :)
    And yes, I hope readers will think better of it once the plot starts kicking in, which in the way I planned it, is about 4th-5th chapter depending on the length. It will just be build up from here till there.

  4. #4
    Jiggly Lover Blondie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Washington State Baby!
    Posts
    423
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    I loved this. Makes me really excited to see where you take this =D

  5. #5
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by Blondie View Post
    I loved this. Makes me really excited to see where you take this =D
    Thank you. I hopefully won't disappoint you. :)

  6. #6
    Feeling of being watched 99unownoak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    598

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Interesting enough so far, I look forward to further writing.

  7. #7
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by 999remew View Post
    Interesting enough so far, I look forward to further writing.
    Thank you. I hope you like it as I get further into the story.

    Chapter 2 is currently being written.

  8. #8
    Registered User Loveon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    57

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    It's very interesting so far, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. If there's anything that bothers me, it's probably the way Aura and her mother talk. They don't seem to be using contractions, so it sounds a bit awkward. Like, “I am thinking of visiting your grandparents in Mossdeep City,” Katherine said as soon as she swallowed her food. “I will not leave if you need me here.”

    That sounds a bit weird. Of course, that might just be the way the two of them talk, but I just thought I'd mention it.
    Every Villain Is Lemons.

  9. #9
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by Loveon View Post
    It's very interesting so far, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. If there's anything that bothers me, it's probably the way Aura and her mother talk. They don't seem to be using contractions, so it sounds a bit awkward. Like, “I am thinking of visiting your grandparents in Mossdeep City,” Katherine said as soon as she swallowed her food. “I will not leave if you need me here.”

    That sounds a bit weird. Of course, that might just be the way the two of them talk, but I just thought I'd mention it.
    I've done that on purpose. I wanted to reflect Adrian's death on the household by making it shallow and have no soul to the conversation. Sounding weird was the point as well, because they are still in an awkward place, and as I said, Adrian was the soul of the household. And they didn't get over his death, and that is why they talk awkwardly. I think I tried a bit hard there...

  10. #10
    Registered User Loveon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    57

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Oh, okay. Sorry about that. XD
    Every Villain Is Lemons.

  11. #11
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Chapter 2
    THE LOSS


    Aura looked around in horror, bodies were torn open, blood covered the dark green grass, body parts scattered around. The sight sickened Aura, she felt her body become light, and before she knew it, she had fallen to her knees. Her hands were covering her mouth and nose, keeping the scream inside, and the stench of death away.

    Absol’s body became tense. He was sensitive to any movements, willing to risk his own life to save Aura’s. He turned his head left and right, looking for any sign of a threat. Aura eventually managed to gather her senses, and walked slowly out of her former city, hunched over and still covering her mouth.

    Aura and Absol were back at Route 120. The grass was short beneath them. Aura sat down on the green field and slowly removed her hands from her face, and a look of horror never left her eyes. The sight of the dismembered body parts and the blood that flowed the ruins of the city never left her mind.

    “Absol…” Absol said in a deep gruff voice. He wanted to bring Aura back to reality, and he succeeded.

    Aura thought about what she should do now, there is nothing that she can manipulate to bring back her city. The first thought that came to her mind was her mother; she must have already left for Mossdeep City. Aura had no way of contacting her mother, but she had to find her either way.

    She slowly got back up to her feet. Absol was always looking around. His sharp tail was aligned perfectly with his straight back, his eyes studying every single detail of their surroundings, and his body had become sensitive to any change in the atmosphere surrounding him.

    Aura managed to shift her weight and bring herself to her feet. She was still shocked by the sight she had seen. Her clothes were covered in dirt and her hair had become unkempt. Absol suddenly tensed up, and he faced the direction of the city. He started growling for no apparent reason, but knowing Absol, Aura knew something was wrong.

    “Over there!” Someone amongst the rubble pointed at Aura and her Absol.

    “Do not move!” Another individual shouted at them. “This is the International Police!”

    There was suddenly a small flash. They had taken a picture of her. Although she was a little far away from them, the cameras could easily see the details of her face when they zoomed in.

    “Sol!” Absol shouted at Aura, before smashing his body against her legs, causing her to fall over onto him. Absol then began running south, Aura held on to the Pokémon’s fur tightly. His speed was very astounding, and he was agile enough to avoid any obstacles without greatly shifting Aura’s weight to the other side of his body.

    They passed trees and tall grass, they could hear the familiar howls of the Mightyena behind them, but they were slowly fading away, Absol was too fast for them. Rain started pouring on Aura as Absol kept running forward, his fur became wet and it became harder for Aura to hold on. There was a sharp turn, and the weather cooled down slowly, Aura tried looking around, but had she shifted her focus from grabbing onto Absol, she would’ve fallen away from him.

    Absol slowly came to a halt. Aura’s drenched clothes were slightly dried now. The route they were on was sunny, there was no sign of their pursuers, and Absol had become slightly relaxed.

    “Absol.” He said in a harsh tone. Aura was able to understand certain tones of Absol’s voice, but not his entire speech. This particular tone had informed her of one word, danger.

    “You are right,” Aura replied, panting. “They might be with the International Police, but they must be perceiving me for something I am not. We must try not to expose ourselves. Are we on Route 121?”

    Absol nodded, and his body became a little more relaxed. Aura looked around and saw a group of round blue Pokémon with leaves on their heads sunbathing. They seemed to be absorbing the light of the sun, and they seemed very happy. Absol nudged Aura’s right leg, she looked down and he tilted his head towards the opposite direction of where they came from. Aura understood his request and followed him, thinking of her mother the entire way.

    A few buildings appeared in the distance, some of them were regular houses, and some were commercial buildings. People were walking around attending to their business. She guessed that the destruction had no made the news yet.

    “An Absol!” Someone shouted. Aura turned around and looked at them, a purple cloak covered most of their upper body, a pointed hat of the same cover covered some of their curly red hair, and they were holding a crystal ball. “It’s a sign of disaster! Wherever Absol goes, tragedy follows! We are all doomed!”

    “What are you talking about? He’s just a Pokémon.”

    “The Disaster Pokémon! He will bring destruction to us all.”

    Before Aura could reply, Absol growled at the woman. She let out a fanatical scream and ran in the opposite direction, dropping her crystal ball and tripping as she stumbled away from them.

    Aura regarded the person as one of those people who believe in superstitions, the people who believe Jirachi grants wishes. Aura shrugged the encounter off and continued on her way, her steps were steady now and she regained full control of her body. Absol walked slowly forward, studying the surroundings as usual.

    Aura soon found herself inside a modern city. She has visited these modern cities before, but never this one. The buildings were varied and their purposes were many. Kids were playing with each other and with their Pokémon. Mothers attending to the children and taking care of them whenever a scratch occurs, no matter how small it is.

    Aura kept following Absol, still studying her surroundings, and they soon found themselves near the beach, the sea had begun and the land had ended. Aura knew that across this sea, was Mossdeep City. Unfortunately, there was no apparent way for her to cross the sea. She neither possessed a Pokémon that can carry her across the surface nor could see a boat.

    “How will we cross the sea?” Aura said. Absol looked at her in a confused look. Aura then realized that she had never told Absol of her intentions. “I want to go find my mother,” She said. “She should be in Mossdeep City.”

    “Sol…” Absol said, hinting that he couldn’t find a way to cross the sea.

    “I guess I’ll have to swim,” Aura said, and dived into the sea before getting Absol’s approval. Absol followed her regardless and swan behind her. Even though Absol could swim, he didn’t have the ability to carry someone along with him.

    As she swam further away from Lilycove City, the city she was in, she began to regret her rash decision. She found herself in desperate need of food, and her energy was running out. The same can be said for Absol. The pair had to take a rest in the middle of the ocean. They couldn’t go back, it was too late. Aura looked around, hoping to find someone who could help them, but all her searching was met by water.

    “Absol.” Absol said as he moved his body close to Aura’s, and his weight leaned it on her. He was telling her to hold him, and she did. Absol subsequently drifted off to sleep for about five minutes. He was recharging his body. After waking up, he dragged Aura across the sea slowly, they traveled about half what they had already passed. But it was still more than what Aura had traveled had Absol not did this.

    The process was very simple. Aura keeps Absol from drowning while he rests, and Absol would carry her a small distance forward. The process required a lot of trust of both parts, which was already there. Being a Pokémon that cannot carry someone across the sea, Absol would lose a lot of it’s energy for a very small distance. They repeated the process for hours, Lilycove was soon out of sight and Mossdeep was appearing on the horizon.

    By this time, Aura had not used much energy and managed to gather her last powers to swim forward, Absol had rested and managed to swim right behind her. They were on the shore on Mossdeep in a few minutes.

    Aura and Absol lied on the sand for what seemed to them like years. Panting excessively, and bodies soaking wet. The sand stuck to Aura’s body, clothes and hair, and sunk deep into Absol’s fur. Absol managed to regain some of it’s energy back, and carried Aura to her grandparents’ home. They had both visited the city beforehand, and knew what to expect. Aura stood up, leaning on the house, and knocked the door.

    Her grandmother opened the door, her skin was pale and her hair was very white. She was dressed in a traditional kimono.

    “Aura,” Her grandmother seemed surprised. “What brings you here?”

    “Is my mom here?” Aura panted, barely gathering her breath. “Is she safe?”

    “She delayed her trip here until tomorrow,” She replied. “Is something wrong?”
    Last edited by Kyuuketsuki; 10th November 2010 at 12:07 AM.

  12. #12
    Feeling of being watched 99unownoak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    598

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    It's going along nice enough so far and the ending was interestingly suspenseful. I know I'm being pedantic but there is a minute spelling error where you have left out an 'r' and spelt 'he' instead of 'her' in the second sentence of the paragraph before the officer yells out "Over there". I'll look out for chapter 3 :)

  13. #13
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Quote Originally Posted by 999remew View Post
    It's going along nice enough so far and the ending was interestingly suspenseful. I know I'm being pedantic but there is a minute spelling error where you have left out an 'r' and spelt 'he' instead of 'her' in the second sentence of the paragraph before the officer yells out "Over there". I'll look out for chapter 3 :)
    Corrected the mistake. And thank you again for reading my story, it hopefully won't disappoint you as it progresses further. Because I have a feeling the ending will not please anyone at all.

  14. #14
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    5,658
    Blog Entries
    108

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    I think you meant a "rash" decision, not a "harsh" one.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  15. #15
    Chaos in Thunder Shadow Raikou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Sol-d
    Posts
    3,121
    Blog Entries
    38
    Follow Shadow Raikou On Twitter Add Shadow Raikou on Google+
    Visit Shadow Raikou's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokémon: The Secrets of Fortree City [R]

    Great! But, dont you think crossing the ocean should be difficult? also.... why dont you make banners for your fics? every one should have one. Anyways Great!

    They should make all quadruple Pokemon ride able along with Gogoat.

Page 1 of 12 12311 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •