Kaleidoscope

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Thread: Kaleidoscope

  1. #1
    polyethylene
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    Hrm... yet another Sakaki monologue. Running down the same way as the other one... it's probably gonna have another couple of parts written to it, when I get around too it.

    Life

    It rained once again, because it always rained in Tokiwa City. It was the city of rains, and the weatherman said that people should expect rain for many more days to come. Then the city of the green trees and beautiful flowers became the city of dark skies and thundering storms; there was nothing but darkness, and the black umbrellas. It was like a river of umbrellas that flowed down the streets, and every here and there was a pink umbrella, or a blue umbrella or a green one.

    Tokiwa was monotonous.

    One would think that the colloquium would be used to the rain by now; no, however, they seemed to bitch only worse about how wet it was and how the streets would be slippery and how the grass always seemed to grow longer and yet longer. And across the street, someone was listening to David Bowie up full blast, and the mother was yelling at the child to turn it down, but the child didn't hear.

    We were standing, you and I, on the inside of the window, and we were looking out of it. The curtains were hanging down, parted just enough for us to look out, and you were watching but I could have cared less. I was remembering the past, and you were thinking of the future, because that was where we happened to be different. The rain kept pouring down, and the people kept bitching.

    I was remembering what someone had told us, and you were thinking of what it meant.

    We had been sitting there, small and young, on the edge of our chair. The man was smiling at as, sitting in the chair outside of your mother's office. He was tall and maybe forty years old, and his eyes were hard. Mother had left us sitting there for ages, because I called her mother too; and he had opted to keep an eye on us, and she had been thankful and returned to whatever she was doing. She didn't think that we knew, but she was wrong; we saw things that people wouldn't understand, wouldn't accept. They would reject it but not us, because we knew the truth behind the matter.

    You chewed on a pen, and it broke and spread ink all over your lips.

    "Life is trivial," he had said thoughtfully, "and there is no such thing as evil."

    And then Mother had come, and he had turned and whispered in our ears: "There is only a colloquial view," and he had smiled and greeted Mother and she had went about whatever business he needed done and then picked us up, you and I, and took us away with her smiles and long, black hair in curls.

    Then it stopped raining, and you turned and looked in the mirror and smiled at me.

    I smiled back.

    ---

    Changed the first sentance from the following:

    (It rained once again, as it always seemed to do in Tokiwa City. Tokiwa City, they called it the City of Rains. The weatherman said to expect rain for many more days to come; and the city of greenery became the city of black, and the occasional pink, umbrellas, co-joined with their black and yellow and pink rain coats and rain hats and thick, rubber boots. It rained, and the rain was nice and warm, but everyone complained.)
    Last edited by Jude; 7th February 2003 at 07:03 PM.

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  2. #2
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    wow

  3. #3
    polyethylene
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    Originally posted by Blackjack Gabbiani
    wow
    I love responses like that. <grin>

    <warm and fuzzy inside>

    <takes off thick, heavy coat>

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  4. #4
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Me too!

  5. #5
    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    Great job Toge, though the opening description seemed a bit...forced, you know? As if you were just writing it because it needed to be there, not because you felt like writing it.

    Made it a bit hard to get in the fic.

    The rest of the part, though, was very good. An even better play on MP than your previous one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  6. #6
    polyethylene
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    I see what you mean...

    And I've just fixed it up, <grin> so if you want, you can have another glance over it. I do know what was wrong with it though, and I think I should note to myself note to use that style of description again.

    Horrid; wouldn't you agree?

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  7. #7
    anonym0usie
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    I love rain scenes, even if I don't know who Sakaki is and even if I don't understand the deeper symbolism underneath all of this. I like this part especially:

    "We were standing, you and I, on the inside of the window, and we were looking out of it. The curtains were hanging down, parted just enough for us to look out, and you were watching but I could have cared less. I was remembering the past, and you were thinking of the future, because that was where we happened to be different. The rain kept pouring down, and the people kept bitching."

    I don't know why. ^^; BTW Toge, "Chicago" rocks!

  8. #8
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Sakaki==Giovanni. Just so you know.

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