Thread: If There's Anything To Be- Cynthia

Well after A Queen of Snow went "well". I decided I would post a very very reacently written song/poem that depicts Cynthia in pokemon Platnium and what she's dealing with when you DON'T see her. I think the song/poem does her justice and is part of a pokemon musical I am writing. While the idea is skeptical, I plan on making it as real as possible. Thoughts on the idea? Like the poem/song? REVIEW.

Note: Keep in mind, it's short for a reason. There.

If There's Anything To Be

Cynthia:

Mop mop mop mop mop I mopped it, and all that's left of love, I've dropped it. It's kept nice and clean while you're gone away. Yet another day. Barry, the cries, the laughs, the sighs, and all because of loves demise, I think...so I eat, and I sleep. And the sweet complextion that the creatures give me, becoming less sincere. And the firm direction, of the life I'm living is becoming lesser clear. You never told me why you left. And now I stumble and I jest-

Love is fearful, It holds you to the wall.
Love is spiteful, catches after the fall.
Love brings joy, where credits often due.
I said goodbye to joy when I said goodbye to you.


Table set. The rooms aglow, a big romatic hue. The food is nice and all,-despite...where are you? I cross the dining room, candles glowing, I bottle the emotions still they're showing. Who's the other person, are they nice? Look at my expression: cold as ice. Tension starts arising, food gets cold, I'm stuck realizing: this is old. What a sorry loser I've turned out to be, all I seem to want is the longing to break free. Lifes becoming flat, I'm becoming teary, that is where I'm at, all in all I'm dreary. Don't be surprised when life turns out to be, a clumsy old catastrophe and-

Love is fearful, It holds you to the wall.
Love is spiteful, catches after the fall.
Love brings joy, where credits often due.
I said goodbye to joy when I said goodbye to you.

So now, keeping true to the vow, though not knowing how I've managed to survive in this state. Am I being too tough, am I being a fool, am I being too gruff, breaking a golden rule. Did you ever cry knowing the emotions would subside, did you know that the pain to be here wouldn't abide? Now I'm alone in this house, our house, my house, dammit love is blinded by this house. Another sleepless night I sleep with grief, a night alone I should be spending asleep. Do I do what is natural, do I do what is needed, do I do what is pure of heart or regularlly unheeded. Did you think that it was a lousy thing to say, as nothing but emotion puts the notion in sway-

Love is fearful, It holds you to the wall.
Love is spiteful, catches after the fall.
Love brings joy, where credits often due.
I said goodbye to joy when I said goodbye to you.


But now I'm through.
I said now I'm through.
All and all I'm through!

So... is there a tune to this song?

It rhymes really nicely. I'd like to see this in song form XD

Real short, but real nice. Another great one dude, I'm guessing from the first part, Cynthia was talking about Barry?

Originally Posted by Zekürom

So... is there a tune to this song?

It rhymes really nicely. I'd like to see this in song form XD

My specialty. It has a very fluctuating rhythm, from fast and furious in the "Who's the other person, are they nice? Look at my expression: cold as ice." To a very soft and ballad rhythm in the "It's kept nice and clean while you're gone away. yet another day." and sings very well when performed. This probably won't be the final form of the song, but it's how I'm leaving it now for time constraints upon performance.

not a tune yet. It's at the piano stage.

Haha. I'm rapping this like Professor Green! This is awesome, man. Real praise, here. The first three lines of the chorus should be sung by Lily Allen, then the last line rapped by Professor Green. Verses rapped by Professor Green are appropriate.

It's not supposed to be a...rap...it's actually a part of a pokemon musical project I am working on, it's most likely goig to parody pokemon in many ways. But since it has no tune, you are free to interprete it anyway you would like.

From a purely technical standpoint, this is well good. It flows, it rhymes and was a joy to read, and as others have stated, I would love to see it in song form.

These reviews have inspired me to write an epic poem. Seven to eight pages of pure poetry.

Thanks for reviewing my song; in turn, I'll do the same for yours.

I enjoy the theme. I like that at times, there's a sense of urgency that eventually turns into calmness. At the end, I can hear in my mind a big finale full of emotion. I don't play the games, however, so I don't exactly know Cynthia's role is and how this song relates to her (sorry!).

There were a few grammatical and spelling errors here and there, so I decided to try and help correct those.

Mop mop mop mop mop I mopped it, and all that's left of love, I've dropped it. It's kept nice and clean while you're gone away. "Gone" isn't necessary in this sentence. Right now it says, "While you are gone away," which doesn't really make sense. Yet another day. I think putting an ellipses (...) would fit at the end of this phrase to give it a more emotional feel, but that's just my opinion. Barry, the cries, the laughs, the sighs, and I don't think the word "and" is necessary here. all because of loves love's demise, I think...so I eat, and I sleep. The second "I" here isn't necessary since you already said "so I eat", but again, if it makes the tune fit better then that's alright. And the sweet complextion complexion that "That" isn't really necessary here, but if it helps make the tune fit better, it's okay to keep it. the creatures give me, becoming less sincere. And the firm direction, Comma is unnecessary. of the life I'm living is becoming lesser clear. You never told me why you left. And now I stumble and I jest- I think that period before "And" should be a comma.

Love is fearful, It holds you to the wall. I think changing all the periods before the word "Love" to semicolons would be better, but that's an opinion.
Love is spiteful, catches after the fall. What does it catch after the fall?
Love brings joy, where credits often due. Comma is unnecessary.
I said goodbye to joy when I said goodbye to you. This last line seems a bit too wordy. I think maybe saying "I said goodbye to joy when I said it to you," would fit better, but if the tune fits, then never mind this edit.

Table set. The rooms aglow, a big romatic romantic hue. This line's fine, except I think the punctuation is a little off. How about, "Table set, the rooms aglow - a big romantic hue. The food is nice and all,-despite...where are you? I think "but" would fit better. I cross the dining room, candles glowing, I bottle the emotions still they're showing. I think a comma between "emotions" and "still" would fit. Who's the other person, are they nice? Look at my expression: cold as ice. Tension starts arising, food gets cold, I think a semicolon should replace the comma here. I'm stuck realizing: this is old. I don't think the colon here is necessary; I was taught that you shouldn't put a colon after a verb. What a sorry loser I've turned out to be, all I seem to want is the longing to break free. It's a bit wordy here. I think, "What a sorry loser I've turned out to be, all I want is the longing to be free," would sound better unless the tune proves otherwise. Lifes Life's becoming flat, I'm becoming teary, A semicolon should replace the comma here. that is where I'm at, all in all I'm dreary. Don't be surprised when life turns out to be, a clumsy old catastrophe and-I don't think the comma here is necessary.

So now, keeping true to the vow, though not knowing how I've managed to survive in this state. "Though" seems unnecessary. Am I being too tough, am I being a fool, am I being too gruff, breaking a golden rule. I think all the commas should be replaced with question marks, except the last one. The period at the end of the last line should also be a question mark. The line "breaking a golden rule" seems a little wordy...maybe just, "breaking the rules?" Did you ever cry knowing the emotions would subside, This comma should be a question mark, and the following word should be capitalized. did you know that the pain to be here wouldn't abide? Now I'm alone in this house, our house, my house, This comma should be a semicolon. dammit love is blinded by this house. Another sleepless night I sleep with grief This line doesn't really make sense because if it's a sleepless night, how do you sleep with grief? Maybe replacing "sleep" with another word would work., a night alone I should be spending asleep. Do I do what is natural, do I do what is needed, do I do what is pure of heart or regularlly regularly unheeded. I think all these commas should be replaced with semicolons. Did you think that it was a lousy thing to say, as nothing but emotion puts the notion in sway-

But now I'm through.
I said now I'm through.
All and all I'm through! I think replacing all these periods with semicolons would make it more emotional.

Many of those corrections are my preferences; you don't have to change what you don't want.

Keep up the great work!

Thank you for the support. As for any choice of wording, all of that is strictly to rhyme and flow, to make every line have the same amount of beats.as for the punctuational errors, I didn't know quite how to punctuate it, considering the fact that poems and songs differently flow themselves. Generally, every paragraph signifies a different point in time, which the music generally is different among rhythm.

Oh haha. ROFL. And the reason I ROFL'd is because i'm watching The Spy Next Door outtakes and the response to rap. I might try to slow me down a little (because when I started singing, I didn't know that an hour of looking for remixes would cause me to sing fast.). This is a lovely song, and I hope you get that musical running (with Nintendo's answers, I hope you do.)

Originally Posted by WingullStrike

Thank you for the support. As for any choice of wording, all of that is strictly to rhyme and flow, to make every line have the same amount of beats.

You don't have to follow this strictly. You can sometimes accommodate for an extra beat or two here and there in the song.

This is a great song. Love it.

Great ideas. Cannot wait until the poem :)