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Wonderful. Simply wonderful. These last chapters are your best yet, and I'd have to say that overall, the story was better than most published books I've read. You truly have amazing talent, I hope you become a great author; either online, or published.
And you said it would take hours for me to read it. That was what, half an hour? Maybe 40 minutes?
Anyway, that was awesome. Very good way of bringing together the majority of the legends.
Some minor mistakes, but I pointed those out to you in IM. Also, for the record, I totally called how J would die. Seriously (although when you think about it, it's kinda obvious, so I'm not gloating *that* much).
I've very interested to see how the Rockets are handled after this, given that the last we see of Giovanni is when he's fighting Cynthia, something not likely to end after the Legendaries flee.
So that was awesome, in short.
Awesome story.
But I kind of disliked the ending.
For example,cyas was never truely revealed.
And the ending was kind of a sadness overload.
Ash dead,delia dead,oak dead.
Still,ash lives on somehow,but I was kind of disapointed.
From before I typed even the first word in this story, I'd always planned for this to be a story where Ash died. Why? Well in every fanfiction I've ever read, that has not happened. And I wanted to do something that would be both different and memorable. I was playing with Delia and Oak at the end; one minute they were going to live, the next they were dead. Oak underwent the most doubt, but in the end I felt that it was just right for this story if they were to both die.
And while I freely admit that there were plot elements I failed to develop or expand upon (James's baby Fearow, anyone?), I never planned on revealing the true identity of Cyas. While many people have guessed at who or what Cyas really is (whether correctly or incorrectly I will not and cannot say), that was a mystery I always meant to leave open-ended. It is possible that it will be revealed in the sequel, but I can't say for sure at this point.
Thank you everyone for your reviews so far; it's hard to believe that it's all over now...
I see..
Anyway,perhaps it just felt so sad because it all happened so fast.
Ash dead,pokemon fled,boom,twenty years later.
anyway,it is of course mainly because ash died.
ASH..
*sniff*
And he has such a future...
O,well,anime canon rules for once.:P
Three words: This was AWESOME!!! I loved the ending, except i thought you had a different ending in mind.
this story is unbelieveble good! i love it so much. but im sad that Ash died. *sniff* anyway nicly written. ^_^
I've read this story since you first posted it on the forum, and I checked Fanfiction often to see if there was a new chapter up. I have to say, that was one hell of a story.
Also, thanks for the shoutout.
That...was.....EXCELLENT!!! Excellent ending, though the deaths of Ash, Delia and Prof. Oak were depressing. Wasn't expecting Ash and Dawn to be related. Akward!
Well, that's one way to kill J. Nice.
I'm still saying Cyas is Arceus. It was the only Legendary that's was missing.
I love this fic I wacht every episode of this fic and it was great from biggining to the end your a great writer and a great critic I want to ask you two things first, you said you were making a sequel I don't want to make you hurry but when do you think you could write it it's just your story is so good I can't wait for it to be out, the second thing is since you're a critic I want to ask if you could review my fanfic just go to my post and get into pokemon new generation and there I'll wait for your review thank you.
Go to his fan fiction account. he has already started on it. and its really good. ^_^Quote:
Originally Posted by elleryferrer
OK, reviewing one step at a time :-) Will edit this post in the future as I keep reading and all!
I've read up to chapter 5 (told you I was a super slow reader :sweatlol:), and OMG, BEST BATTLE EVER!!1 :ksmile: ...that is, I adored the battle ;-) I hope I read many battles as that one as I proceed through +40 chapters!
And damn, cliffhanger at 5? Wish I could read more right now, but I must get to my workplace :bawl: *is already late, couldn't stop reading the battle*
...and character-wise, you know I'm very out of touch with the anime-verse, so I can't tell if you did it fine or not :-( *ashamed of self* (but w00t, shipping! :loopy: *likes*)
My god...
I read this whole thing, and it was damn good! I mean, I'm shocked. I never thourhgt i could like a fic where Ash dies, but you did it. It was well written, with an excellent plot. I can't say much more, other than the fact that you have rare talent.