26th February 2003, 02:37 PM #1
The last Dragon of Earth
The fic that is a random piece of insanity: The Bulbasaur Tales
No one cared to reply to the last one but here's the second one
The fic that is a random piece of insanity: The Bulbasaur Tales
Last time in this fic, I had run from our former hero. He’s now a purple hugging machine. I escaped and now there is a Bulbasaur in front of me. Freaking out, I point to the screen where you are and dash off where I can narrate and not be seen.
‘Hey my names Bulbamon. I’m a Bulbamon. I’m a Pokemon that decided Pokemon were boring so I became a Digital Monster instead. Hey where that girl go?’
Bulbamon starts looking around. I’m sitting on a pop up branch well hidden. Since this isn’t our former hero I have no idea what’s with this guy.
‘Dames today. She could have been my tamer but no. She fled.’ Hey what do you know? A banana in the shape of a Pikamon!’
The Pikachu lands, Light Saber still intact.
‘I say a jolly good wheeze that. Hey stop that you ruffian!’
Bulbamon yells Razor Leaf and flings them at the Pikachu. The Pikachu holds up his paws trying to deflect them but only gets his light saber smashed in two.
‘My glorious mint condition light saber! That was a collector’s item Wot?’
He sobs spreading tears over the broken plastic.
‘I’ll have to Digivolve now! Bulbamon Digivolved to…’
He stands there looking like a fool as nothing happens.
‘Oh yeah I need a tamer to activate it ^^;;’
I sigh and make a D-Power and a Digi card appear. I swipe it then jump into a pop up nest and hide.
‘ACK! I’m a Demi Bulbamon! Wrong card! Very wrong card!’
He now stood smaller than ever with giant red eyes and a seed on his back. Pikachu looked at him and laughed.
‘What a jolly good wheeze eh old chap? You jolly well deserved it doncha know!’
Our new hero (--) glares angrily at the Pikachu with super kawaii eyes. Probably not the effect he wanted as Pikachu fell over backwards and rolled around laughing. Wait a sec that is funny! So I roll around laughing in the pop up nest hoping I don’t fall out.
Later our new hero has long since ditched the Pikachu in search of new things and some way to become Bulbasaur again. I am riding along on a Rapidash that has somehow grown wings. Before it was cardboard cut out. Another one of those things you just shouldn’t ask. In the distance there was some Opera playing. Opera in a forest you ask? Look at your screen and tell me what you see. Words you say? What about that Wobbuffet with a Viking helmet and spear? See it?
Our new hero walks up to the singing Wobbuffet. It was singing perfect opera that could match any fat lady. Our hero raises a tiny paw and pokes the gigantic singing beast. The opera singing Wobbuffet continues singing as a giant glove comes out of nowhere and whacks our new hero around the face and knocks him flat. Our hero lies on his back with eyes all @@. I clap with joy as my cardboard cut out gallops over head.
A little while later our new hero revives went the opera reaches a particular note for some strange and odd reason Oo. It holds it’s spear at our new hero’s neck and brushes back a wig of hair. It looks down and it’s eyes open red and anime looking. It starts speaking in a real strange accent.
‘Now who dares deny me the pleasure of singing ah? A way over the top cute seed with giant eyes? Tis a wonder you even dared.’
‘I’m not a seed! I’m a Demi Bulbamon I’ll have you know! The stupid narrator swiped the wrong card and I ended up like this!’
Our new hero is then hit but a cardboard fireball cut out I just made on the sky around me with a giant red crayon. The Hero flickered slightly a golden and red color.
‘Aiee! My seed is on fire! Put it out put it out!’
Our Opera lover hits him with the glove again sending our new hero into a pop up tree and setting it ablaze.
‘Now that was very stupid young seed. Setting the poor council’s popups alight with your flame. You’re in for a serious fine my friend.’
Our new hero glares at the opera Pokemon who now has a fake moustache made of notes.
‘You hit me with that white glove you stupid singer!’
‘Pfft such excuses you throw upon thee. Tis not nice. And I’m not a stupid singer. I’m an insanely talented Opera Wobbuffet singer. Hmph! Such nerve!’
The Wobbuffet slaps him and walks off in a huff.
‘Demi Bulbamon digivolved to … Bulbamon! Yee I’m back to normal!’
Our new hero begins an insane dance of joy, which involves clapping coconuts together and acting like he’s riding a horse. Oo
After a few hours of clapping coconuts and invisible horse riding, our new hero stops and falls onto his bulb exhausted. Something stirs in the shadows of the pop ups, it looks at our sleeping hero and laughs so evilly and loud it wakes him up.
‘Nuh huh. What the heck was that?’
Our hero looks up to see a Dolphin standing above him. It has five stars in a circle on it’s forehead
‘So ye slumber so long from insane dance. Da names Echo, Echo the Dolphin. I was thrown into this fic attempting to be bad when I’ve been good my entire career. Don’t ask how I’m standing. I think it’s a plot hole or the writer saw that Simpsons Treehouse of Horror or something insane like that.’
‘I er have to fight you?’
‘I think so. I’d rather fight in the open waters not land. Land’s kinda boring ya know.’
‘I better Digivolve then. I wonder what I’ll become. Only one way to find out. Bulbamon Digivolved to...’
I screamed and Echo squeaked in horror. Someone really likes doing this to me.
A Green Teletubbie stood there. My cardboard cut out bolted and left me hanging for a few seconds in true cartoon fashion. I held up a sign saying meep then fall on down and onto Echo’s blowhole. Echo wobbled about unable to breathe.
‘Uh oh! Teletubbie twelve o’clock!’
I point at it while trying to unstick myself from the blue Dolphin’s blowhole.
‘Etho! Lets look at Tummyvison! ^^’
I scream still trying to get out of the purple dolphin’s blowhole. I suddenly pop out ending on the floor. I stupidly turn into the hypnotic spiral on his tummy…
Echo slaps me then accidentally looks at the Teletubbie. He stares dumbly at Dipsy like a moron. Me meanwhile? I leg it of course. Then fall down a giant hole that appears out of nowhere. I land upside down looking at the ground above me. Everything spins around and I’m on a beach. I hope the waters are kiddie show free.
‘Ah my good friend. Perchance you could help me. I’m a scholar, a Psyduck scholar. I believe you have to narrate for my friend Squirtle over there.’
Oh God not again ><