Fanfic: Goodbye Misty rated G

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  1. #1
    Registered User Stardust's Avatar
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    Default Fanfic: Goodbye Misty rated G

    This is my first fanfic, I started it a couple of months ago but I'm having total writer's block with it! Anyway I hope you like it. If you have any ideas or advice, TELL ME PLEASE!! This was my theory about why Misty was leaving. (Keep in mind I wrote this before the episode was aired in Japan and before everyone knew why she's really leaving.)


    Goodbye Misty

    (Narrator's voice) We come upon our heroes once more in the Olivine City Pokémon Center. Last time, Ash won his battle with Jasmine, the Olivine City gym leader, and got a Mineralbadge.

    "Ash, your Pokémon are fully healed and ready for battle." a pert voice said.

    "Thanks, Nurse Joy!" Ash replied as she handed him a tray carrying his five Pokéballs and Pikachu. "Hey Pikachu! Are you feeling better, buddy?"

    "Pika Pikapi! Chu. Pi chu pikapichu!" [Sure am Ash! Thanks! All I need now is some ketchup.] the small yellow mouse said cheerfully as it leapt unto Ash's shoulder. Ash quickly fixed the Pokeballs into his belt, turning quickly when a voice called out to him.

    "Ash! Come quick and look at this!" Misty called from across the room, where she was watching the news on the TV.

    Ash crossed the room in time to hear the anchorwoman say, "The oil tanker that sank on the coral reefs between Vermillion City and Olivine City has created a large oil spill in that area. Thousands of water pokemon in the area have been injured and are being sent to nearby Pokemon Centers. There is some concern over whether the Centers have the capacity to treat all of these injured Pokemon..." The picture cut to a view of the oil spill. There were Corsola, Staryu, Tentacool, Tentacruel, Magikarp, and the odd Seel as far as the eye could see, all covered with black oil.

    Misty seemed almost in shock. "I've never seen such an oil spill.... and all the poor Pokemon!" she cried.

    Ash gently put his arm around her shoulders and led her away from the TV set. "Calm down, Mist. It won't help the Pokemon to get so upset. Let's just try to think of what we can do to help."

    Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call! Nurse Joy had been watching the news as well, and she ran across the room to answer the phone behind her desk. "Olivine City Pokemon Center. Nurse Joy speaking."

    "Hello Nurse Joy. This is Professor Oak from Pallet Town. I'm looking for Ash Ketchum and his friends. Would they happen to be there?" Ash, Misty, and Brock heard the familiar voice and came to the videophone immediately.

    "Hi Professor! We're here." Ash said over Nurse Joy's shoulder.

    "Hi Professor!" Misty and Brock chimed in.

    "Have you heard yet about the oil spill between Vermillion City and Olivine City?" the Professor asked.

    "Yes! We were just watching it on the news," Brock said.

    "It was awful!" Ash exclaimed.

    "All those injured water Pokemon... I can't believe it!" Misty said. "And they're worried about if the Pokemon Centers can handle them all!"

    "That's what I'm calling you about, Misty. The Pokemon Centers cannot handle all the injured Pokemon. Many are in a very serious condition, and they just cannot get the attention they need. I have been notified that many of those Pokemon are going to be sent here, to me, for care. Tracey and I have our hands full as it is, taking care of the Pokemon on the grounds. The Johto League is only a couple of months away, so Ash and Brock, I realize you cannot spare any time right now. So I am calling to ask a favor of Misty."

    "Anything, Professor Oak! If it will help the water Pokemon, just name it!" Misty replied instantly.

    "I was hoping you would say that, Misty. I was hoping that you might be able to come here, to Pallet Town, and help myself and Tracey with the water Pokemon for a few weeks, until they can be transferred to Pokemon Centers. It would be a wonderful opportunity for you to study water Pokemon and learn more about them, and to help the ocean you love at the same time."

    "Of course I'll come, Professor Oak!"



    Ash, Misty, and Brock stood in the Goldenrod City bullet train station. They had walked to Goldenrod from Olivine City the day before, as soon as they had gotten off the phone with Professor Oak. Misty was going to take the bullet train to Saffron City, where Tracey would meet her and they would fly back to Pallet Town on the two Dragonite that Lance of the Elite Four and lent them for their cause. Now the time had come to say goodbye.

    Misty turned and hugged Brock. "You keep Ash in line, ok? You're going to have to coach him in Mahogany Town, since I won't be there to do it!"

    "You got it, Misty," Brock replied. "You take care of yourself, ok?"

    "I will Brock. You too." She turned, hesitated for a second, and hugged Ash as well. "I'll.. miss you, Ash.."

    Ash's face turned beet red as he hugged her back. (Brock, smiling at the sight, managed to take a picture without them seeing.) "I'll miss you too, Mist. Take good care of the injured Pokemon. And take care of yourself. We'll see you again soon."

    Pikachu and Togepi hugged goodbye, both of them crying. "Pikachu... pika Pipipi.." [Goodbye.. I'll miss you Togepi...] "Toge.. togeprii prii toge priii!" [Bye Uncle Pikachu... I'll miss you too!]

    **Final boarding call for Saffron City! All aboard for Saffron City!**

    Misty sighed and picked up Togepi. "Well, I guess I've got to go," she said. "I'll call you in Mahogany Town... Oh, and Brock, don't let Ash at the map!"

    Ash facefaulted as she boarded the train.

    "Bye Misty!"

    "Bye Ash! Bye Brock! Take care!"

    "Pikapika! Pi Pikachupi, Pipipi!" [Goodbye! Bye Misty, Togepi!]

    "Togetoge priiitoge togepriiiii!" [Bye Daddy! Bye Uncle Brock! Bye Uncle Pikachu!]


    Chapter 2

    Ash and Brock decided to stop in the Goldenrod Department Store and stock up on potions, remedies, ketchup, and Pokeballs before heading north to Ecruteak City and then east to Mahogany Town. After drinking a refreshing lemonade each, they decided to have a look in the Goldenrod Underground before they left. Pikachu and Vulpix got haircuts with the Pokemon Barber. The barber put a large bow in Vulpix's headfur, and gelled the fur between Pikachu's ears up into spikes. Then they passed by the trinket shop, where a large pearl caught Ash's eye.

    "Wow, what a huge pearl," Ash said to the man behind the table. "Is it real?"

    "It sure is, young man," the old, gray-haired clerk replied. "That's a genuine Cloyster pearl. It's pretty rare to find one so big."

    'Wow,' he said to himself. 'Misty would really love this.' Out loud he asked the clerk, "How much is it?"

    The next thing Ash knew, he was sprawled on his back on the floor, with Brock leaning over him trying to get him to drink some water. Ash waved Brock off and struggled to his feet. "It's... how much??" Ash gasped.

    When Ash opened his eyes again, both Brock and the clerk were leaning over him with smelling salts.

    "That's pretty expensive.... but if it's so rare... and it is a genuine Cloyster pearl..." Ash thought out loud. "Ok! I'll buy it."

    "Thank you very much, young man!" the clerk beamed as he wrapped the pearl and Ash handed over his money. "Oh, and that will be $10 extra for the smelling salts."

    With a huge sweatdrop on his face, Ash quickly gave the clerk the money and left as fast as he could. "Cha..." [Oh Ash..] Pikachu sighed.

    With that, Ash and Brock began the hike to Ecruteak City. It wasn't a really long walk, but they had started late in the day and so planned to camp out overnight. Pikachu and Geodude picked out a perfect camping spot beside three apricorn trees. Pikachu and Ash picked the apricorns to bring to Kurt while Geodude and Brock started a fire to cook supper on.

    It didn't take long to pick the apricorns. Ash quickly unrolled the two sleeping bags, and then sat quietly, staring into the fire for a long time. Brock noticed this, but just smiled to himself and continued preparing supper for the two of them. Pikachu, worried about his master's odd behavior, tried to start a conversation.

    "Pika pi chu pikachu Pikapi?" [What's wrong? You miss Misty, don't you, Ash?]

    "I can't hide anything from you, can I, Pikachu?" Ash replied. "Of course I miss her. She's one of my best friends."

    "Pichu pikachupi chupikapi." [She's more than that to you Ash.]

    "What do you mean by that, Pikachu?" Ash said, a little more sharply than he had intended.

    "Chu chu pikachu." [I think you know the answer.]

    "Maybe I do. I'm just not sure." Ash gazed down at the pearl in his hand.

    "Hey Ash, come and eat!" Brock called, breaking Ash's pensive mood effectively. Ash ran to the "table" that Brock, Onix, and Geodude had set up using a convenient flat-topped boulder and some smaller stones for chairs. He looked at what was on the plates and cried, "All right, my favorite! Thanks Brock!"

    Pikachu sweatdropped. "Chu pikapi chupichu pikachupi." [I should have skipped the lecture and gone straight to the food.] Then he saw the Pokemon food that Brock had prepared and ran to the table as well.

    Ash, Brock, and their Pokemon enjoyed the good food... until the all-too-familiar cloud of smoke and the sound of high-pitched laughter filled the air.

    "Hahahahahaha!

    To protect the world from devestation

    To unite all peoples within our nation

    To denounce the evils of truth and love

    To extend our reach to the stars above....

    Jessie!

    James!

    Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!

    Surrender now or prepare to fight!

    Wobba.... Meowth that's right!"

    "Not again.." Brock groaned. "What do you want this time?"

    "The same thing we always want! We want that Pikachu!" Jessie cried. "Arbok, go!"

    "And we were having a really good meal..." Ash groaned. "Pikachu, you know what to do." "Pika!" Team Rocket was soon a shining spot in the sky.

    "Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn!" "Wobbaaaa!!"

    In the calm that followed, a persistent "Ring ring ring! Cell phone! Cell phone!" broke the air. "Brock? Where's that coming from?" Ash asked, clearly confused.

    "Oh! I guess I forgot to tell you! When we were in Goldenrod City, I bought a PokeGear. It has a cell phone, map, radio, and PokeDex. I gave our number to a few people already. Let's see who's calling!" Brock replied, excited. He pulled out the cell phone, which looked like a pocket TV set, and pressed the Talk button. "Hello, Brock here."

    "Hey Brock! How are you guys doing?" a familiar voice came through the speaker. The image was a little staticy, but it was definitely their friend Misty! "Professor Oak gave me your number. Where are you guys? What have you been up to? How's Ash? How are the Pokemon? Are you in Mahogany yet?"

    "Whoa Misty! Give me a chance to talk! We're camping out tonight, about halfway between Goldenrod and Ecruteak City. We just finished battling Team Rocket again. Ash and the Pokemon are fine. Any other questions?" Brock said with a laugh.

    "Team Rocket showed up at your campsite?! Oh well, you two know how to take care of them."

    "Yeah, they showed up here." Ash said. He was looking over Brock's shoulder. "But Pikachu took care of them easily. How are you, Misty? How's it going with the water Pokemon? Any news?"

    "It's going okay, Ash. About a hundred of the injured Pokemon that needed special care were sent here, to Professor Oak. The poor things are in terrible shape, but Tracey, Professor Oak and I are doing our best to take care of them, so we've got our hands pretty full. Even your mom and Mr. Mime are here with us, helping out. I'm going to be here for at least two weeks. The Pokemon Centers just don't have the room for them all. They even sent some of the Pokemon that weren't in too bad shape to my sisters in Cerulean City until they can get the oil spill cleaned up." Ash could see now that Misty looked very tired and worried. Her skin was much paler than usual, making her red hair appear even more fiery, and she had the beginnings of dark circles under her eyes. "You guys go on to Mahogany Town. Keep in touch, ok? I'll join you again as soon as I can."

    "Sure thing, Misty." Ash replied. "We'll call you tomorrow night. Say hi to my mom for me."

    Pikachu jumped onto Ash's shoulder and stopped drinking a bottle of ketchup just long enough to wave into the small screen and call, "Pikachupi pika Pipipi!" [Hi Misty! Hi Togepi!]

    Misty saw this and laughed. "Ash, did you get Pikachu a haircut? He looks so cute!"

    Ash grinned. "Yeah, we stopped in the Goldenrod Underground before we left. Anyway, Mist, you look tired. You go get some rest and we'll talk to you tomorrow night, ok?"

    Misty smiled. "You're right. Goodnight Ash! Goodnight Brock! Night Pikachu!" The screen image slowly flickered out.

    "Well, Ash, it's getting late," Brock said. "I guess we may as well turn in for the night."



    Ash lay awake in his sleeping bag for a long time that night, thinking. He stared for a while at the large, white pearl he held in his hand. Then, careful not to wake Pikachu who was sleeping beside him, he rolled over and tried to go to sleep.
    Last edited by Stardust; 10th January 2003 at 11:23 PM.

  2. #2
    Jellybaby for your brain! Mew2Too's Avatar
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    That was pretty good, Startdust! It almost seemed like, if your ending was a little polished, you wouldn't have to write anymore on it.

    If you did want to write more, you could "put the toys back in the box" by having Ash go to Pallet himself and resolving the situation. ( And maybe confessing his love for Misty! :) ) I mean, doesn't know Lugia pretty well- being the Chosen One, and all?

    EDIT: Oh, and I loved the Pokemon "subtitles." ;)
    What kind of Pokemon am I?


  3. #3
    Treasure Hunter Lara Croft's Avatar
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    Not bad for a first fic! Really, this is one of the best I've seen.

    There are a few things I'd like to suggest, though. This story seems to fit into the "typical trainer" genre, and that doesn't seem to fly really well. You know, the whole, "Ash and Misty FIND problem, Ash and Misty FIX problem, Ash and Misty fall in love" thing. It might be wise to put a more substantial plot to the story. I mean, you can still do the whole AAML thing, but it would be better if the plot was a little less cookie cutter.

    Stylistically, it's alright. The only reason its not "wonderful" is because you lack the detail. You want your readers to envision what you're showing them. THink of it as a movie with words. From a movie, you can get all sorts of messages not only from teh script, but from body language, scenery, etc. Since your readers cannot see your mental picture, you have to *paint* it for them.

    But really, I think this story has a lot of potential, and you seem like a dedicated writer. All it takes is time. ^^
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  4. #4
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    I liked it! Another thing, though...TR's appearence, while similar to some of their briefer appearences on the show; is completely unnecessary.

    it makes people mad when it happens on the show, so...

  5. #5
    Like the Memory of a Kiss Kurai's Avatar
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    This does indeed fit into the typical "problem and separation" fic genre. It lacks a real uniquity, though it does hold potential as it stands. I hope there's another chapter so we can see if Ash goes to see her, and, if so, see her reaction to the "Big Pearl."

    Blackjack is right in saying that the Team Rocket appearance was completely unnecessary. If this is an AAML fic about Misty's love of water Pokémon, then it doesn't need Team Rocket. Fics only require the elements that enhance its plotline. [edit: Waitaminit.... Is this a Ketchupshipper fic? LOL]

    One quip with the flow of the story, however, and that's that you need to start a new paragraph every times someone new talks. It's less confusing to separate dialogue even if it makes the fic "longer" than it really is.

    But I do like the near realism you gave elements of the game! The phonecalls are amusing (as always), and the Big Pearl, etc., is also something I've seen few use. It's cute!

    You should continue this, Stardust! You can make it as a good author!

    -=: [rose.iii] -=:=- [the.kuraitenshi] -=:=- [those.things.with.wings] :=-

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  6. #6
    Registered User Stardust's Avatar
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    Hmm... thanks for your comments.

    Actually if I can play this thing out the way I'm hoping to, Team Rocket's appearance won't seem so unnecessary later. I have a plot in mind, if I can get it down on "paper" it'll probably be at least 5 chapters. I'm just having trouble getting it from head to pen and paper! A LOT of trouble! :D Depending, though, I may take it out.

    I'm trying to keep it as in character as possible - how does it look so far in that respect? (My brother and I always thought that if Misty left it should be something to do with studying water Pokemon.)

    Thanks for mentioning that about the paragraphs, Kurai... I thought I had all of them in separate paragraphs, but I see a couple of places now that I missed.

  7. #7
    Registered User Stardust's Avatar
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    Ok, I was going to leave posting chapter 3 for a while but I decided to post it anyway. I've also made a few edits to the previous two chapters. Hopefully the plot will start to develop a bit more here and I've also tried to take your comments into consideration, so tell me how I'm doing. Also I know it's short but I'm just trying to get over writer's block with this!

    Chapter 3

    *At Professor Oak's lab, 3 days later*

    Misty, Tracey, Professor Oak, and Mrs. Ketchum were sitting down to a huge lunch cooked by Mr. Mime. All were glad to take a quick break from tending to the injured Pokemon, as they had been working day and night since the oil spill. All were also very tired, but Misty had been especially quiet during lunch. The other three found their eyes straying to Misty as she sat silently, pushing the food around on her plate.

    "Are you all right, Misty?" Professor Oak finally asked, breaking the silence. "You've been very quiet."

    "I'm fine, Professor. I guess I'm just tired." Misty replied absently.

    "Maybe you should lie down for a while. You look a quite pale. Go on, Misty, we can manage for a couple of hours," the Professor said. He looked a little worried. The last thing they needed at the lab was for someone to collapse from exhaustion.

    Mrs. Ketchum looked at Misty carefully. Something was wrong. She just knew it. Call it a woman's intuition, motherly insight, whatever, but she just knew something else besides being tired was wrong with Misty. Deliah could see it in her eyes. The young girl had been like a daughter to her when Ash and his friends came to Pallet for visits. This was not the Misty she knew. And unless she was dead wrong, she knew just what was the matter with her. She had seen it ever since the first time she met Misty.


    *Meanwhile, in Mahogany Town*

    "I can't believe I lost!"

    "Ash, calm down! It's not that bad! You can always challenge Pryce again, like you did to me, remember?"

    "No, I can't, Brock! I can't do it! I just can't do it without -" Ash broke off in the middle of his sentence and looked away quickly. "Come on. I need to get Cyndaquil to the Pokemon Center. He put up a really hard battle against those ice types."

    Brock grinned to himself. He knew darn well what Ash was going to say. And he wasn't about to let this opportunity pass by. Brock may seem to the outside observer to be just a tag-along or a big brother there to break up fights, but during Brock's quiet times, he was always watching, listening, and thinking. "You can't do it without what, Ash?" he asked, sounding strangely gentle.

    "Nothing. It's nothing. Forget I said anything. I'll try again later." Ash muttered, shoving the brim of his hat low over his eyes. He stalked away in the direction of the Pokemon Center.

    A small "Pikapi?" [Ash?] came from Ash's arms, where the small yellow Pokemon was being carried to the Pokemon center. The black eyes looked nervously into Ash's, and then over to Brock. Even though he was exhausted from battling at the gym, Pikachu could see that his best friend was very upset. "Pikapichu chu pikapika pi. Pichukapi pi ka kachu." [I'm sorry... My attacks couldn't work against the Piloswine. Please don't be mad.]

    Ash looked down at Pikachu. Even in his dark mood, he managed to smile at his loyal Pokemon and say, "Don't worry, Pikachu. It wasn't your fault. You put up a great battle and tried your best. That's all I can ask, so how could I be mad at you?"

    "It's not 'nothing', Ash. If it was nothing, it wouldn't be bothering you this much. You've never let anything affect your battling. Come on, you'll feel better if you talk about it," Brock persuaded him. A long pause followed. Finally, Brock decided to come right out and say it. "It's Misty, isn't it?"

    Ash stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face Brock. His face had turned dead white, and there was something unreadable in his wide brown eyes - pain? fear? longing? "No - it's just - I - uh - um... Okay! I miss her! Now let's go! Are you coming or not??"

    'Well, finally! That's a start at least. Ash has got to talk about this, even if I have to drag it out of him,' Brock thought as they walked together in silence, Ash's stony, Brock's thoughtful. 'It's obvious that he loves Misty and he's getting so torn up inside about it. I know she loves him too. She actually came right out and told me so before she left. I've just got to get it out of him!' Brock looked up in surprise and realized that he was standing on the steps of the Pokemon Center. Ash was already in the doorway, and turned around to look at him.

    "Well, come on Brock, let's put our Pokemon in and get a couple of rooms," Ash said, with a definite air of false cheerfulness in his tone.

    Brock sighed in resignation and followed Ash inside the Pokemon Center. Maybe a good meal would help him think and also improve Ash's mood.

  8. #8
    追放されたバカ MeganiumX1's Avatar
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    Good fanfic,I always love to read them.
    This is brilliant,too.

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