Could've Seen The Rain
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Thread: Could've Seen The Rain

  1. #1

    Default Could've Seen The Rain

    First ficcy post here. :)

    I know this is rather strange and rather blunt... it's somewhat inspired by a lot of things, mainly the fact that it has been raining solidly for the past four days, and the fact that I'm trying out new styles, and the fact that I love the quote that is the only bit of dialogue in here.

    It's from Sakaki's POV.

    Kinda. ;)

    ---

    You could have seen the rain, had you just looked out the window. But no, you couldn't do such a thing like that. No, you couldn't ever go near a window, especially to look out of it! They say you might be a genius, but you, not you. Never could you even pick up a pen and write; never could you pick up a brush and paint, for you wouldn't know your left from your write, the black from the white.

    Words would be mangled by you; passive when you should have been active; tensing in the future when you should have done it in the past; you wrote with dangling modifiers and comma splice errors, but still, they said that you might have been a genius. You could have put down your brush and your pencil and looked out the window, and you would have seen that it was raining.

    But no; you put down your pen and picked up your pills, and off you went into that world where you dream. And you see things that aren't there; things that might've been but you know they aren't and that they never could be. But you want them to be, you want them so much. You could come down from the high, sentences fragmented and your pastel colours opaque.

    Mastermind.

    Somebody told you, when you were young: "If you win, you're a genius, but if you loose, you're mad."

    And you could've been a genius, but now you're just mad. Even if they say you're a genius, you're only made. You are a stupid, genius. A mad genius who could have looked out the window and seen that it was raining; seen that it was raining before you went out the door, your colours running and your voice in the passive. Everything was conditional, a conditional rhapsody in blue.

    Now look at you!

    You're on the ground, lying there, dead to the world. Look what you've done! You're standing there, watching yourself and wondering, why, just why are your colours fading? What could you have done to deserve such an imperative demise? Why in the subjunctive, what could you have done to stop it? What little thing that affected everything was it that you did? Why are you fading?

    You could have looked out the window and seen that it was raining. You would have seen the droplets and what they did to the puddles on the ground! You could have opened your ears and listened, and opened your nose and smelt. You would have heard the thundering rain and you would have smelt the dampness in the air. But you didn't, because you're there on the ground and they're watching you.

    You're watching yourself, and it dawns on you.

    You sat in your dark little room, and your pencil in one hand and your brush in the other. Your fragmented thoughts and your passive verbs; the running colours going opaque, you're favourite colour splashing in it's wake. Black and white, like an old movie, because you're fading and you're body lies on the ground. Don't listen to what they say, just let go!

    They say you're a genius.

    But that was I.

    You tried to keep me away, with you're drugs and your words and your paintings. You tried to keep me inside, because I was Beelzebub, and you were Michael. And if you have listened to me, and looked out the window instead of taking your drugs you would have seen that it was raining! You would have known and you wouldn't have done it, wouldn't have gone outside in your daze.

    Would have known what to expect. Would have heard the screeching tires. Would have felt the smashing bones. Would have tasted the blood on your lips. Would have felt your life flow away. You would have. But you didn't. And now, the rain is taking us away. Look at us! Look what you did to our body!

    I hate you, because you're mad.

    And still, it's raining harder.

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  2. #2
    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    Whoa. That was...weird. Freakishly weird, and therefore totaly expected from you .

    Let me get this straight. Basically, the narrator (the "I") is Sakaki's "evil" personality (or inner demon, or demon possessing him), while the "you" is the "weak" Sakaki. Right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  3. #3

    Default

    Basically, though it's slightly deeper than that. It's set post-mortem, and before the spirits 'go away' into another life. Basically, Sakaki was MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder, not Schizophrenia) and 'I' is not necissarily evil; it's just ambitious. 'I' is a brilliant author, artist, strategist, etc, while 'You', or Sakaki's 'self' is simply Sakaki.

    And Sakaki was on drugs for MPD, and went outside and slid on the road and got hit by a car. :) So they both died'd. Aww.

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  4. #4
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Oh? See, I got that he was dying, and I got that it was two parts to him...

    ...somehow I thought he did it himself, intentionally...

    This was a very cool story. I love the duality, *especially* with Gio...(when I do it, it generally involves what he thinks of Delia)

  5. #5

    Default

    I don't really ship Sakaki with anyone... except maybe... but no, I wont mention that ship, because it's rather racy and a bit sick.

    Hmm... I was thinking that he might have done it to himself myself, but somehow it didn't turn out that way. ^^;

    My sometimes don't let me write it how I think it might turn out. :)

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  6. #6
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    ooh, tell us! Actually, tell us in the Shippers forum! We're always up for interesting pairings there!

  7. #7

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    Sakaki/Madame Boss.

    I rest my case, though I've yet to write this one... I'm planning too, though. <evil grin>

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  8. #8
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    .........

    ...y'know, I've *heard* of that before.

  9. #9
    Like the Memory of a Kiss Kurai's Avatar
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    "I have come to realise that there is more to life than sanity."
    ~ Max Michiru, RoseIII (don't remember exactly where o_o)

    No truer words could be said of this fic than this quote. At least, I think no truer words could be said. o_o Gawd I confuse myself when I've been up more than 2/3rds of a day.

    But seriously. I greatly enjoy reading stories about stages and forms of insanity. Just ask any of those privy to the RoseIII spoilers or to where I'm going with my PASBL team/training. >8D .... o.o;

    *cough* I'll just try to get what I'm trying to say out before I start rambling in complete incoherence.

    Great piece of catharsis literature. Much Schizophrenia goodyness. 8D Insanity = awesome plot device. Much branches from insanity. 8D

    [/comment]

    ~ Kurai "Are you sure you're you?" Tenshi O=)
    [/reply]

    -=: [rose.iii] -=:=- [the.kuraitenshi] -=:=- [those.things.with.wings] :=-

    i'll believe all your lies, just pretend you love me
    make believe, close your eyes
    i'll be anything for you

  10. #10
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Kurai
    But seriously. I greatly enjoy reading stories about stages and forms of insanity.
    Which may explain why you like mine so much *snicker*

    Jiri: I don't find that amusing.
    Me: Well of *course* you wouldn't! You're always the one losing it!
    Jiri: ...you need to start paying me, at least.
    Me: *gives him spare Ancient Mew* There, add that to your 'collection'.
    Jiri: ...I already have one...
    Me: ...You don't have the North American one, now do you?
    Jiri: There's a crease in it...
    Me: Yeah, I tried to carry it around like you do and I put it in my shirt pocket.
    Jiri: ...............I think you may have just proven some strange, maddening point to Kurai, but I'm not certain if it was intentional or not...

  11. #11

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    Jiri is cute... Jiri/Lugia anyone?

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  12. #12
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    You have this bizarre penchant, don't you?

    Anyway, that's *also* been suggested before, but I dont think it has a name...Goalshipping? Finalityshipping?

  13. #13

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    Obviously, ;)

    I was thinking... Bishasu/Jiri?

    so sell your suit and tie and come and live with me
    leukemia schizophrenia polyethylene
    there is no significant risk to your health
    she used to be beautiful once as well

    plastic bag, middle class, polyethylene
    decaffeinate, unleaded, keep all surfaces clean
    if you don't believe this, sell your soul
    if you don't get into it, no one will

  14. #14
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Huh...I was in a RP where Jiri got molested by Bisashu

    Jiri: I don't get paid nearly enough to be in your writing.
    Me: Hush.

  15. #15
    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    Jiri really has it easy though. He only gets underpaid. Some characters get no pay and get frequently tied up by their authors to make sure they don't run away...

    Now, Jay and Jyp...*waves at Timarelay, who has damn better end up seeing this and replying to it >=)*
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

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