dedicated to Latonya Wright (on here, known as Revolutionary Girl)
I held a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep.
The day was warm, and winds were prosy;
I said: "'T will keep."
I woke and chid my honest fingers,--
The gem was gone;
And now an amethyst remembrance
Is all I own.
I try not to think about what happened that night.
People have tried to talk to me, saying "They're in a better place now", and "They can finally be together." Bullshit.
Just say it. They're both dead. They were murdered. And I couldn't do a thing to stop it.
The day started fine, just like any other. About halfway through the day, the Professor turned to me and said "Oh, Tracey, I forgot to tell you. Delia invited us to dinner tonight."
God, if only we hadn't gone...no, that's not it. Then she still would have...
Dammit, my hands are shaking so badly...
We were having a good time. After dinner, we talked for a long time in the living room. It was...nice.
Then the car drove up.
Delia looked out the window at who it could be--no one in Pallet owns a car. I'll never forget what she said.
Oh God, no...not him...
She was pale and her eyes were wide with panic, like she knew what was about to happen...no, no one could have predicted that but the evil mind that planned it...
"Hide upstairs!" she commanded, her voice faltering. "He won't find you. He just wants me..."
Oak took her hand. "Delia, I'm not leaving you. If he's going to hurt you, he has to get through me." Oh, Professor, would you have said that if you knew how it would end?
They hid me upstairs, under Ash's bed. I don't think they knew there was a grate there. I could see everything that went on.
The door burst open, and in he strode--Delia's ex-husband, Giovanni. I had heard the rumors about his involvement in Team Rocket, but my past experiences with their more inept agents must have clouded my view of them as an organization. Neither of the duos I tangled with could ever begin to comprehend this man's evil.
I couldn't quite hear what he said, something about tying up loose ends. Oak shielded Delia, who was trying to reason with the man. But it was to no avail. There's no reason in him, not a single shred of human decency. If there was, what happened next would have only been some sick nightmare, rather than played out below me...
The Professor raised his fists. "I know what you do to her. Every time you leave, she calls me in tears. And anyone who hurts Delia has to face me!"
Giovanni smirked. "I did not come here to relieve my tension, Professor. I came here to kill her." He leveled a gun at Oak's head. "And since you're here, I'll just kill you too."
I closed my eyes. There was no way I could watch my hero die...
There was a scuffle below, and a shot. Slowly, I opened my eyes, hoping that some miracle had occured...
And for just one fleeting moment, I thought it had.
Delia had pushed the Professor out of the way, and stood breathing heavily, with her arms out, staring Giovanni right in the eyes. Had he missed? What happened? Then I saw the blossom of red seep through her blouse.
Giovanni smirked. "You never should have left my side, Delia. You were much better off cowering at my feet than you were playing house with the Professor here."
She gasped, trying to keep her balance. "I always knew you'd kill me..." A step back, wobbling. Oak just stared in shock, unable to do anything.
"And I guess I was right..."
She fell backwards, just as Oak snapped out of the crippling trance and caught her. "Delia..." He choked back a sob and stroked her face. "Delia, don't leave me..."
She smiled sadly. "Samuel...I'm sorry it had to end like this...but I'm glad I met you..."
He kissed her softly. "I love you, Delia."
She went limp. Oak cradled her close to him, running his fingers through her hair. "Delia," he whispered.
I had to hold my breath for fear of bursting into tears. I had just watched one of the most caring people I've ever met die in front of me, and I knew it would only get worse.
Giovanni advanced on Oak, gun drawn. I just then realized it, but that madman had been smiling the whole time...
Oak didn't seem to notice the gun pressed against the back of his head, not at first. But it was like Giovanni was waiting for something...
Finally, Oak whispered "Why? Why did you kill her?"
That smile again. I doubted I would ever smile again. "Do you know what it's like," he intoned, his voice eerily calm, "to discover that your own son is the Chosen One of legend, almost two years after it happened?"
I gasped, and quickly covered my mouth. Dear, sweet Ash, the nicest boy in the world, was the son of this...demon? I couldn't believe it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had known it, but...
"So you killed her because she didn't tell you?"
"Oh no, there were several reasons. But that was the final straw. I simply cannot tolerate that kind of disobediance."
Oak just sat there silently for a moment, holding his fallen lover. "She was your wife," he whispered at last. "Didn't you care for her at all?"
That seemed to catch Giovanni off-guard. The hand holding the gun wavered ever so slightly, and he shook his head, as if trying to dispel a thought. A crack in his invincible armor, it seemed.
"......Shut up," he snarled, his voice barely audible.
"She was a pure, innocent soul, and you...murdered her..."
"And you're next, old man." I winced at the click of the hammer, and covered my eyes with my hands.
"I just have to know one thing," Oak declared.
"What is it?" The voice that had, just seconds before, been nary a whisper, was once more a demonic growl.
"Do you feel anything at all?"
Giovanni pulled the trigger.
I should have kept still, but my body didn't listen to my mind. I was wracked with dry heaves, and I was trembling so badly, I thought I was having a seizure. I took my hands from my face to steady myself on the floor, but that was the worst thing I could have done.
Oak was sprawled on the floor, slumped over his beloved Delia, still embracing her.
I was almost sick.
And that madman, that demon, stood against the wall and smiled. He had committed the most heinous sin of all, and smiled.
I couldn't stop shaking.
And then he turned around.
And stared straight at the vent.
And drew his gun.
And winked at me.
He knew I was there. He knew the whole time.
I came to in the hospital. Mimie, who had been outside in the garden when it all happened, had screamed so loud it woke the neighbors.
I spent the better part of the day relaying the events of the night before to Officer Jenny. But it's strange, it's like it wasn't me talking. I had already separated myself from my surroundings, giving everything a dream-like feeling. Nothing felt right anymore.
The streets of Pallet were dull and bare, even though the flowers in Delia's garden were in full bloom. Everything had ended, and I was unfortunate enough to survive it all.
The lab was just as we had left it. Dr. Hale was on his way to run the place until a permanent replacement could be found. As for me...
The stairs seemed longer now. I didn't bother to turn on the light. It really didn't matter, pretty much everything was dark to me. If I fell, it wouldn't matter. An accident would only kill my body. My soul was already dead.
Just a few days ago, everything was perfect. I should have known it couldn't last.
I can't go on like this. I can't be a body without a soul.
My room is dark too. I've always liked it this way, but now it takes on a special meaning. Strange, I'm not crying anymore. Maybe it really is possible to run out of tears.
I always kept this in my desk. Came with a set of standard artist's tools, for tearing pages out of sketch books, I think. My mind is going...
I drag the blade down my arm. It doesn't really hurt, not after what I've been through. This is strictly a formality, anyway, to test how sharp it is. Satisfied with it, I take out a pen and my sketch pad and begin to write this message.
Dr. Hale, I'm sorry I couldn't work with you. Under better circumstances, I would have looked forward to it. But as it stands...I'm sorry.
Brock, I never really got to know you, but everyone speaks so lovingly of you, I feel as though I have. I wish you luck in your life.
Misty, you've been like a sister to me. I only wish I could have been there to watch you grow up. You're a fine person, and an excellent trainer. Take good care of Marill for me, I know you and she will be a great pair.
Ash and Gary...there's so much for me to say here, but I'll keep it brief. You both have promising lives ahead of you. Ash, please take good care of Venonat, and Gary, you of Scyther. And never forget that we love you; me and Delia and Oak...And Ash, you are the purest soul I've ever met.
To everyone, I'm sorry.
I try not to think about what happened that night. But the memories are all I have. I'm sorry.