Amber Reflections - my first pkmn short story in a long time

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Thread: Amber Reflections - my first pkmn short story in a long time

  1. #1
    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    Default Untitled - my first pkmn short story in a long time

    Yeah, I just started on a random idea, and wrote something from there.

    It's very short. It's a Monologue from Ai/Amber (*NOT* Aitsuu/Ambertwo)'s point of view.

    It's rather random.

    Amber Reflections

    I hear your tears, daddy.

    They're dripping down your cheeks, falling on the floor. You're looking at me, I know. You can't tell that I know – you think I can't realize it. Everyone do. Everyone think that if you look at me, I won't be aware of it.

    Then again, that's not really surprising, isn't it? I mean, you all think there's nothing left of me. Just a stupid body in a box you are all crying over.

    You are all so blind. I'm still there, you know. I'm there, and I watch. I know what you are all doing. Mom has been crying, and crying, and crying. And are you there to take care of her? No, you aren't. You're drowning yourself in your own sorrow instead of protecting her, like you swore you'd always do.

    You aren't taking care of her, because you are too busy trying to replace me.

    You're insane, you know, dad. Your daughter is dead, whether you like it or not. Even if you create a new girl that's just like me, she won't be me.

    She won't ever be me, because I'm still here. She can't be me, because I am me, and I am here. You are just wasting your time.

    You curl up on the floor. It's not working, but you don't plan to give up on this. Your pet project. You can't deal with me being dead. You want me, alive. You want me, with you. But you don't realize I really am still here.

    You know dad, most girls would really like to have a father who loved them so much as you loved me.

    But at least, most girls get noticed by their father. Oh, sure. Say you aren't noticing me because I'm not here. Because I'm dead.

    Without all your science, maybe you'd be able to see me. Maybe I could ease your pain. Maybe, if you didn't think so much about what you have seen proven, and thought more about what your heart tell you, maybe if you did so we could still be together.

    Mother left, you know? She told you. But I don't think you heard her. You were too busy trying to create a new me. Another me, when you won't even pay attention to the me that's still there.

    It's so…sad, really.

    I see you smile. It has been a long time, dad.

    So you are on the verge of success. Your new creation, everything seems to be working so well…

    And your new daughter is about to be finished, too. So…strange. I feel her coming into being. I feel me coming into being. You think your dream is about to be fulfilled, don't you daddy?

    I'm afraid not. I really wish it could be otherwise.

    Don't mistake me daddy. I don't hate you. I'm not doing this for hate.

    I'm not doing this because I want to hurt you. I'm not even choosing to do it. You just didn't realize there's more to a human than genetics. You wanted a perfect copy of me – in body as well as soul.

    Did you even stop to realize that a soul that's a perfect copy of my soul would be the soul of a dead person?

    Your new me is dead before she even come to live, daddy. Because she's just like me in soul. And my soul is a dead soul, free of body.

    Don't cry, dad.

    She's in a place where there's no pain, no hunger, no cold. She won't suffer now. She's in a place where there's only regret and waiting.

    At least now we can wait together.

    -----------------------
    Last edited by Evil Figment; 12th January 2003 at 12:11 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  2. #2
    Like the Memory of a Kiss Kurai's Avatar
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    @_@!! W0W.

    I saw the OVA Pokémon movie a while back, but I never knew the girl's name was AI! The terrible, terrible symbolism!!! Gah! It racks the very remains of my mentality!

    Very well-written as always, Damian, though I reccomend you entitle this. ;) All fics need a title!

    -=: [rose.iii] -=:=- [the.kuraitenshi] -=:=- [those.things.with.wings] :=-

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    Treasure Hunter Lara Croft's Avatar
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    I agree, all fics need a title. ^^

    Really extremely good, B! I absolutely loved it. I always like reading your fics, you somehow make the emotion tangible. When you actually *feel* something, that's a sign of good writing.

    A few usage/plurality mistakes, but nothing a once-over won't fix. ^^
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    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    Glad both of you liked it. That was just a spur of the moment thing, probably sleepiness-induced, but hey, if you both like it...

    As for the title, I am looking for ideas. It's just I don't have one at the moment.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  5. #5
    Jellybaby for your brain! Mew2Too's Avatar
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    Not bad, Damien. I think Ai is forgotten all too often these days -- both as her own character as well as Mewtwo's best friend.
    What kind of Pokemon am I?


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    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    And it's a sad thing that she's so forgotten, given how much dramatic potential there is around that (Fuji's "madness" about cloning her, his wife leaving him, her death, her clone's friendship with Mewtwo, her clone's death, etc).

    Ai and her death and cloning is one of the part of the pokemon canon with the most room for great stories, IMHO.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  7. #7
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Damn...

    You know, THAT works. I couldn't really get any interest in that short, simply because I had no interest in Fuji (why waste a perfectly good short giving us info on someone who gets atomized two minutes into the movie? Give us background on someone we care about!)

    But *THIS* is something I can get behind.

    Ironically enough, my real name is Amber.

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    Virus equals very yes Kinglerlord2's Avatar
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    Default It frustrates me...

    That was really very good...

    having not seen the movie/short/whatever you'd like to call it it's more difficult for me to truly appreciate this piece however I did enjoy the viewpoint you took.

    As RR said, a few wee errors but nothing major.
    Don't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Go down there and light the bloody thing yourself!


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  9. #9
    You know, for kids! A Concerned Solomon's Avatar
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    Cool

    I'm in the same position as KinglerLord, but you made it so I could understand it for the most part. The whole situation somehow reminds me of the Casper movie (the first one had a bit of everything, "Casper Meets Wendy" was all light-hearted slapstick, btw). Casper's father became so obsessed with resurrecting Casper that he died working on the machine.

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    Jellybaby for your brain! Mew2Too's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Damian Silverblade
    Ai and her death and cloning is one of the part of the pokemon canon with the most room for great stories, IMHO.
    Heh heh! Wait until the third JTC fan fic.
    What kind of Pokemon am I?


  11. #11
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    I had a thought...you said you didn't care for the title? How about "Trapped in Amber"?

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    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    No, what I said was that I had no idea what title to give to it - this topic started out "Untitled", but since then I came up with this particular title, which I really like.

    Though Trapped in Amber would have been good too, but I just think Amber Reflection (with its nice double-sense) fits this just too well.

    Thanks for the suggestion, though!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  13. #13
    Small and Deadly
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    You know, B, we really need to see about this unhealthy obsession with death that you have. Seriously, it's all about the dying with you, isn't it? I think we might have to do some analysing of your work.



    Anyway, that was really, really good. I haven't read anything by you (which you have noticed and keep pointing out) for a while, and especially when I compare this to your first writing, you've improved incredibly. Still a lot of those little grammar errors though, which assure me that this is, in fact, your writing, and you have not been posessed by aliens. Good work Grampa! Er... Big bro.

  14. #14
    The Ash Defender Togepretty's Avatar
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    Now that was deep.

    I've seen the short of Mewtwo and Ambertwo, and I can just picture this monologue fitting in perfectly.

    Very nicely written. You really got into the real Amber's mind.

    Great job as always, Damian.

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    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    Thanks Togepretty :)

    And Timarelay - I use death as a tool in my writing. I don't kill because they have to die, I kill them because it serves a point.

    Not to mention, I didn't kill Amber. The movie killed her, I just wrote about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

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