@AetherX; Thank for reading! And definitely thanks for the review!
For the record, the overall plot is basically characters change from being A to being B. No one saves the world. No one is ever in more peril than, say, the Arbok incident that transpired earlier. That's just how it's going to be, and I love that someone else seems to appreciate that. Even if Arceus doesn't jump in and hand anyone a magic jewel from space or something and call them the chosen one, I hope you and others still find it to be entertaining, just for different reasons.Plot's super basic so far, nothing wrong with that. Just a few friends and recent acquaintances journeying it up.
I am really happy you think that. You know, I find snark as funny as the next chick, but when a story's humor comes mostly from snark, I personally think it gets pretty boring, even annoying, so I'm glad that my fic so far has managed to avoid that. Helpful observation.I love how the interactions bring humor in themselves, even when a snarky comment is not being made.
Cool to know. Yeah, Salem and Cherry are probably the most sympathetic of the protagonists at the moment, so that makes sense to me. Even so, I think as the story goes on, you'll see that the others have their good points as well. Salem is probably my favorite of the mains too, though! (Shh! Don't tell the other characters!)I have to say I identify with Salem the most at this point despite his... eccentricity.
I think I will also take this opportunity to point out that everyone in this story is crazy. Everyone. No exceptions. If they seem sane, trust me, they aren't. I think everyone has their own bit of weirdness and I think that is something that actually makes characters more relatable, rather than less, in a lot of ways.
I agree with you there. I was having a bit of trouble with that spot. It was even more confusing before, but it could definitely be better. The obvious answer would be to take it out, but I mostly did it this way because that 'memory' was literally the only interesting thing that day the audience that happened, and it was absolutely necessary to know for the story, so I couldn't skip it. It felt weird to write a small section happening on one day and then skip to the next in the same chapter. Also I guess I just kind of have a thing for flashbacks. Three chapters, and I've already written, like, two.The only issue I had was the transition out of the the flashback in chapter four. It was a little jarring, but I caught on pretty quick.
I don't know, maybe one day I'll have a brilliant idea and fix it. Do you think extra spacing between the flashback part and the main narration would be helpful?
Hmm, I see. My personal feelings about description are that when I'm reading something, I usually skip it because most of the time it's boring, long-winded and unnecessary. With that in mind, I usually don't write much description other than to say the characters are in a kitchen or a forest or whatever, unless said environment is unusual in some way. I mean, we all know what a forest and a kitchen look like, I don't generally need to describe one to you for you to be able to visualize one. But I guess I can see how some people would like a little more than that. In the future I'll try to add a bit more of that kind of stuff in there. I mean, a sentence or two here and there wouldn't hurt anything, and if it would help you [the audience] get into things than its totally fine. I can do that.I feel like there could be a little more description of the environment. You do a good job of incorporating some alongside the action, but I'm often left wanting for a little more specificity as to the setting. you do a great job of this with describing the characters, so maybe it's just that it doesn't fit any of the narrators' voices.
Thanks again for the review, AetherX! It was both encouraging and very helpful. I hope you continue to read this story!
P.S. I fixed those parts you mentioned.