TEEN: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

  1. #1
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Blackthorn City
    Posts
    52

    Default Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

    So, I got bored some night back in December and looked up stuff on the Slender Man (a fake urban legend), and that brought me across a certain story about something called "The Rake." This got me slightly motivated to write my own horror story. It's not great, but I figured, y'know, why not post it if it took me a couple hours? There are obvious ties to 'The Rake' story since it's based on that, but whatever. When I was writing this, the word 'Wendigo' popped into my head, and since this could... sort of... pass as a Wendigo, I figured why not? I wrote this back in December but I don't think I ever even posted it here, so I figured why not. Hope you like it. ;D

    Wendigo


    I snuggled even further into my husband's arms on our couch, my daughter Katelyn laying between my legs as we watched the horror movie together. "Come on, Jessica, is it really such a great idea to let her watch this?" James whispered into my ear as Katelyn hid her eyes behind her hands, the woman in the movie sleeping and unaware of the monster sneaking into her room.

    "What, just because it's past her bedtime a little? She's in fourth grade; I was watching tons of scary movies when I was her age." I shoved another handful of popcorn into my mouth, wincing as the monster crawled into the bed with the woman unnoticed. The husband will get back any minute and kill the thing, I tried to reassure myself in my head. The thing won't kill her. It won't. It was sad how scared I was getting, despite all the years I'd spent watching horror movies. Maybe James had a point about not letting Katelyn watch this.

    Too late.

    Katelyn screamed bloody murder as the lady woke up and saw the creature in her bed, but the monster was already slashing into her. I gasped, clapping a hand to my mouth as James looked away. He covered my eyes with his hand, the diamond ring on his finger poking into my forehead. A smile crept across my face, despite the screams filling the room from the movie. My husband would save me from something like that, I thought to myself. I'm always safe with him.

    I pulled James's hand from my eyes as I reached for the remote control, turning off the DVD and running my fingers through Katelyn's hair reassuringly. "It's alright, Katie, we'll finish watching it another night. It's late, why not go to bed?"

    Katelyn hugged me nervously, burying her head in my stomach as James sighed uneasily. "It's alright, I'll go tuck her in and read her a few stories. She'll be fine in no time." He grinned, getting up off the couch and making me fall down onto where he'd been sitting. I propped myself up on my elbows, giving an exaggerated groan that got a few laughs from the two of them. Katelyn reached up for her father as he swung her into his arms, growling like a bear before raspberrying her in mid-air. She let out a screech of delight while trying to fight him off, screaming that she was too old for that sort of thing. I laughed before getting up and walking with them to her room.

    James walked in and laid her on the bed, tucking her in before going over to the bookshelf and asking what story she wanted to hear. "Snow White!" she yelled in delight. He grinned, grabbing the book off the shelf and pulling a chair from her desk over to the bed before sitting down to read it to her.

    "This could take a while," he said with a sigh to me, running a hand through his hair. "I told you we shouldn't have let her watch that movie. She'll still probably have nightmares."

    "Yeah, yeah, I screwed up, I'm sorry," I muttered resentfully, leaning against the doorway. "Never again, I promise."

    Katelyn looked between James and I uneasily, hiding her face under the covers. "It just... It just reminded me of stuff," she said softly. I could tell from the tone of her voice she was about to cry. As if I hadn't begun feeling like total crap for letting her watch it already.

    "What do you mean, Katie?" James asked, concern evident on his face.

    "That's all that ever happens, Daddy." The tears were starting to form in the corners of her eyes. "The monster keeps coming into my room at night. He keeps talking to me. He keeps... coming back..."

    I walked over to her, my heart breaking at the thought of my movie choice making her imagination run wild. I knelt down next to the head of her bed, running my hand across her cheek before giving her a deep hug. "It's okay..." I cooed gently into her ear. "Mommy and Daddy are here. Nothing will get you. I promise."

    "But it always tells me it doesn't matter. It wants you guys here!" The desperation in her voice startled me. I always made her feel better. Always.

    "What do you mean, Katie? What exactly does it say?"

    Tear rolled down her cheeks as she gathered the strength to say it out loud.

    "It says it's hungry."

    ***


    "Are you sure she'll be okay?" I asked James uneasily in the hallway. I felt absolutely horrible about the entire thing. What parent would let her kid watch a movie when she'd been having nightmares, anyway?

    "Yeah, she'll be fine. Don't worry about it, Jess. Let's just not do it again. I'll be in after an hour or two at the most, I promise. It'll just take a few more stories to calm her down."

    "Alright. See you then, hun." I gave him a quick kiss before walking down the hallway, looking back over my shoulder as he marched into her room. His face lit up as he saw her, as always. I grinned as I walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind me and slipping under the covers of my warm bed. I stared out the window next to me into the winter night before wearily shifting my glance to the digital clock on my night stand.

    11 PM.

    I groaned, shoving my face into my pillow. I need to get up for work in 6 hours. Screw my life.

    ***


    I slowly awoke from my sleep by the feel of cold wind on my face. I growled to myself, cursing my husband under my breath for stealing the sheets as always. I remember feeling him come to bed around one, but was opening the window necessary? My blurry vision focused in on the digital clock again. 3:15 am. Crap. I thought to myself, squeezing my eyes shut. Today at work's gonna be hell. There's no way I'll make it all day without falling asleep. Maybe I'd better call in sick.

    "James...? Why'd you open the window? It's freezing in here!" I waited with my eyes closed for a reply, but there was none. "James!" I went to shove him with my hand, but only felt thin air and the mattress. For the love of god, if I have to close that window myself, he's a dead man. I reluctantly opened my eyes again. My vision was cloudy, but I could still barely make out the open door and hallway light. He must've gotten up to go the bathroom, I reasoned. I went to tug the sheets around me, giggling at the thought of how he'll react when he sees I stole all the sheets back from him. Maybe he should know what it feels like to have to deal with that winter breeze. As I tugged, the sheets ripped free of something at the end of my bed and as they did so I gasped. I hadn't realized my husband was still in the room after all. I looked at his figure, sitting at the end of the bed and staring down the hallway.

    "Hey, babe... Are you alright?" I said groggily, rubbing my eyes as I sat up. "...And why the hell did you open the window? I'm freezing." As my eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, I saw Katelyn's legs falling off to the side of his lap. I shook my head, scolding myself for saying 'hell' in her presence, before talking again. "What's the matter, did she end up having a bad dream again, James?" I gave a guilty sigh. "I'm so sorry. Katelyn, sweetie, are you okay? It was just a movie, I promise. You'll be fine." Poor thing... I thought to myself. She's been having nightmares for the last week and then her mom makes her watch a scary movie. Guess I'm not winning any "mother of the year" awards. I went to lay my hand on James's shoulder, but something stopped me in my tracks. My hands were bright red.

    I looked at them for a second, confused, then looked to see where the red had come from. My eyes slowly worked their way down to my lap, the sheet laying over me stained with red. "James...? What's on these sheets...?" My eyes then made their way across the bed, the thick, red substance pooling where James had been laying next to me. The sheets were ripped in places, and a single hand coming up from the floor laid on the side of the bed. A single hand with the wrist cut and a diamond ring on its finger. Realization and horror flooded over me. "James, what the hell is going on here?!" As I went to grab the man sitting at the edge of my bed, it was then that I saw its horrible figure. The way its back looked as if it had been broken three times, the way its head was facing upwards at a horrible angle. I grabbed it by the shoulder, touched the skin that felt strangely inhuman, and as it turned to me, I screamed in horror. Its eyes and skin were pure white, but its face was covered with blood, as if it had just been feeding. It looked at me with a surreal form of delight as it licked its lips, its tongue slowly moving over its pointed, bloody teeth. A deep gurgling sound arose from its throat as it turned back to my daughter, moving its face down towards her ear. "Don't you dare touch her!" I screamed, lunging towards the monster as quickly as I could in hopes to stop it from whatever it had planned. In a single, sudden motion, it then threw her to the ground and shot off towards the window on all fours, skidding to a halt and looking back over its shoulder at us. I could almost see a smile cross its face as it gave a deep growl before jumping out into the night.

    I sat there for a second, too terrified to scream, before my brain started to kick in. I ran to the window, slamming it down and locking it before closing the door. I then ran over to Katelyn and knelt down next to her, checking to see if she was okay before hugging her close to me and kissing her on the forehead. I looked around, panicked. Knowing what I had to do, I quickly turned on the lamp on the nightstand above us to see, then grabbed the home phone. Katelyn cried into my shoulder, mumbling something over and over again as I dialed 911. I forced back my tears and whispered to her that we're safe, that the police would be here soon enough, that everything would be okay.

    "It won't be okay, Mommy!" She cried into my shoulder as the sound of the phone ringing on the other side soothed my fears. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a foot twisted at a horrible angle peeking out from the other side of the bed. James... I thought to myself, a tear falling down my cheek. For the love of god, how could it have done that to him without waking me up?!

    "911 emergency, how may I help you?" A woman on the other side of the phone asked, ripping me from my thoughts.

    "Oh, thank god. Please- we need police here right now! My... My husband... He's..."

    "Mommy... It... It ate Daddy...It told me that-"

    "Ma'am, what about your husband? Ma'am?"

    I disregarded the operator for a second, looking down at my daughter, horrified. "It... It told you it ate Daddy? When did it tell you that...?"

    "No, Mommy... That's not what it told me. It..." She gave a horrified sob, burrowing her face into my chest.

    "Katelyn, what did it tell you?!" The lamp above us flickered off, coating the room with darkness as the phone in my hand went silent. A shiver ran down my spine as I stared at my daughter through the darkness. "Katelyn... Please... What did it tell you?" The door to the room slowly creaked open as low, gurgling noises came from outside.

    "Mommy... It told me that it was hungry and would be coming back with some friends."

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Well, for my first horror-themed story, and my first one-shot ever, I feel like it sort of went alright... But I'm not sure. ;-; Hahah. Hope you all enjoyed it. Make sure to comment with your thoughts if you actually read the whole thing! ;D Hahahah.
    Last edited by Dawn_Hero; 26th March 2011 at 03:19 PM.

    (Credit for the banner goes to myself. Click it to see my newest fan fic; comments & reviews appreciated!)

  2. #2
    User #50,000 Mr Metagross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    London, England.
    Posts
    242
    Blog Entries
    95

    Default Re: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

    Damn, another brilliant piece from a brilliant writer.
    This really got my spine tingling. Even at the first paragraph, you can tell something out of the ordinary is afoot, and I liked how the majority of the dialogue was Jessica's thoughts. The end of the first part, just before the triplet stars, got my throat caught and it remained that way as I read on. Really good, and I was freaked by how gruesome the final few paragraphs were.

    The only flaw I noticed was that there wasn't as much description for the environment as there could have been. While I had a clear image of the characters and events, I couldn't really imagine what the world they were in was like, and I found myself constantly hopping between worlds as the events progressed.

    That mistake was greatly overshadowed, literally as it seems, by such an element of darkness. Said element was pushed right to the extremes, making this is a well-paced and truly horrific piece. Frankly, I'm disappointed it's only a one-shot!
    Look, I make music! Yay!

  3. #3
    noot noot Oblivion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Antarctica
    Posts
    5,558
    Blog Entries
    45

    Follow Oblivion on Tumblr Visit Oblivion's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

    ...Wow.

    This is pretty good. I'm gonna echo The Metagross's comments about the lack of detail about the environment, but everything else is amazing. The reactions from the characters are believable, and the story is beautifully frightening and bloody.


    Oh, and were any other Imaginarium Geographica readers drawn in by the title of "Wendigo"? *raises hand*

  4. #4
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Blackthorn City
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

    Quote Originally Posted by The Metagross View Post
    Damn, another brilliant piece from a brilliant writer.

    The only flaw I noticed was that there wasn't as much description for the environment as there could have been. While I had a clear image of the characters and events, I couldn't really imagine what the world they were in was like, and I found myself constantly hopping between worlds as the events progressed.

    That mistake was greatly overshadowed, literally as it seems, by such an element of darkness. Said element was pushed right to the extremes, making this is a well-paced and truly horrific piece. Frankly, I'm disappointed it's only a one-shot!
    You may be one of my new favorite people hahah. xD Thank you, Metagross, for the wonderful compliments. I have to admit I was skeptical if it would really be considered "good" seeing as how it was the first thing I'd ever really wrote. I guess there's always the possibility of making a sequel one shot in the future, but for now it's strictly just for t3h lulz of horror. :P Sorry. Hahah.

    I do see your point about lack of detail, however; I may run through again and weave in some description and the like for her bedroom seeing as how that's where the main part of the fic is based. Thanks for the suggestion, and thank you very much for reading and reviewing. ;D Hahah.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ombrare View Post
    This is pretty good. I'm gonna echo The Metagross's comments about the lack of detail about the environment, but everything else is amazing. The reactions from the characters are believable, and the story is beautifully frightening and bloody.
    Yeah, I think I might have to run through and add a bit more detail just to make it easier for people to imagine (though I may not. Who knows xD). I'm really glad you seem to have enjoyed the story, Ombrare; thanks so much for reading and posting! :3 Hahahah.


    Oh, and were any other Imaginarium Geographica readers drawn in by the title of "Wendigo"? *raises hand*
    Lol. "Wendigo" seems to draw a bunch of people to it for several different reasons. xD Supernatural, Charmed, WoW, & Imaginarium Geographica being the main ones.

    (Credit for the banner goes to myself. Click it to see my newest fan fic; comments & reviews appreciated!)

  5. #5
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    1,001
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

    Umm... yeah that was creepy. I'm more a fan of existential horror than this slasher stuff, but it was still really good. You've improved significantly since you wrote it, especially in the description department, but this was still very well written.

    I lol'd at the Jess and James piece, you do that on purpose?

    Unpredictable - Fan Fic
    * * * * *
    Find me on Soundcloud

  6. #6
    Rampant Writer. Dawn_Hero's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Blackthorn City
    Posts
    52

    Default Re: Wendigo [Non-Pokemon One-Shot]

    Quote Originally Posted by AetherX View Post
    Umm... yeah that was creepy. I'm more a fan of existential horror than this slasher stuff, but it was still really good. You've improved significantly since you wrote it, especially in the description department, but this was still very well written.

    I lol'd at the Jess and James piece, you do that on purpose?
    Hahahah, glad it was creepy to you. xD Yeah, I figured it would be fun to see the different ways I'd improved since writing it, but I wasn't sure if any improvement had really happened. Now I'm wondering if it'd be fun to post another story I'd written based around Christmas, but it doesn't feel like the time of year for that.

    Thanks for the compliments, thanks for reading, and thanks for the review, Aether. :D Hahahah.

    P.S.- Someone else pointed out the Jess & James part to me. Totally unintentional, but it made me laugh so hard once I saw that, too. xD

    (Credit for the banner goes to myself. Click it to see my newest fan fic; comments & reviews appreciated!)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •