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  1. #121
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Inb4 Spencer is involved with Team Rocket. :P

    I liked this chapter, though I was a bit shocked when you mention a starter Pokémon under the common wild Pokémon, lol. I mean, I can understand Pikachu and Marill but is Cyndaquil really that common? I mean, sure one or two Cyndaquil but facing ten of them in the row? Well you didn't show them so I guess that counts for something, heh. :P

  2. #122
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by Xmas Haze View Post
    Now I like this. This chapter was really exciting and entertaining also I wasn't expecting Spencer though in my defense you didn't actually hint at him in chapter 2 it was in chapter 1 when you were describing Keith's life. Also I see you pulled the old
    "make the main character seem like the underdog" trick for Keith I wonder how the public will react to his next rounds though I still don't get why they started losing hope just cause he wasn't going at the speed of light.

    Also I like the way you're making the tournament work it's a good way to sort out participants.

    I'll keep reading so I hope the next chapter comes out soon.
    Thanks for reading! I actually did mention him in Chapter 2 (where Criss mentions Silph and Devon working on fossil revival tech), and my main reason for recommending a re-read of Chapter 2 is the incredibly important bit of foreshadowing regarding Criss that no one's picked up so far. It's the single most informative hint I've dropped and I'm disappointed that no one has noticed; I'll have to drop another hint before the fic ends. Anyway, it turns out that Keith's spectators were just expecting a little too much from him. That's remedied in this chapter. Thanks so much for the response!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsutarja View Post
    Inb4 Spencer is involved with Team Rocket. :P

    I liked this chapter, though I was a bit shocked when you mention a starter Pokémon under the common wild Pokémon, lol. I mean, I can understand Pikachu and Marill but is Cyndaquil really that common? I mean, sure one or two Cyndaquil but facing ten of them in the row? Well you didn't show them so I guess that counts for something, heh. :P
    Ahh I hate it when my readers think up cooler plot twists than I have planned ;) Hopefully the ones I do have will suffice. Who knows, maybe Cyndaquil is common in my 'verse. I just wanted a balanced trio, and they're all "mice" so that was a good theme. Thanks for the continued readership.

    Tags: @Xmas Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ; @MidnightGhost ;

    Sorry this has taken so long, I really expected to get more done over non-denominational winter holiday break. To think, two months ago I wanted to be done with the whole fic by now. Two weeks ago I wanted to be done with the Tournament Arc. Now here I am, at least four chapters away from even that goal. I'll try to get them out quickly, I promise. I don't plan to write very many incredibly detailed battles, since so many lie between here and the quickly approaching finale. Please forgive me for any shortcuts.

    This time: Keith begins the Primary Round against an old rival, and takes another step closer to his dream

    Chapter 30

  3. #123
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    The chapter was really good and the battle was interesting, especially since Anna put her pride aside just so that she could battle Keith...and then she lost again xD either way I kinda like her so maybe she should stick around for a while or something.

    That being said I think it would be a little too boring if you were to do the preliminary battles for all the characters it could end up dragging the chapters if you're not careful.

  4. #124
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by Xmas Haze View Post
    The chapter was really good and the battle was interesting, especially since Anna put her pride aside just so that she could battle Keith...and then she lost again xD either way I kinda like her so maybe she should stick around for a while or something.

    That being said I think it would be a little too boring if you were to do the preliminary battles for all the characters it could end up dragging the chapters if you're not careful.
    Thanks! I do enjoy character cameos, so maybe she'll show up again. Trust me, I'm trying to be very careful about not dragging this Tournament on and on. Most of the battles from here on out are going to be a little more spotty and not quite as detailed, but hopefully still interesting. And don't worry, all but one of the battles are going to be Keith's. It would get terribly boring if I did everyone's.

  5. #125
    Registered User sharktooth162's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Hey, loving the chapter and was half surprised when dratini evolved but kind of suspected when Criss said to use him the next day (still predicting the 'unpredictable' whether you like it or not). I'm glad that you brought back anna cause I love her character but I think its a bit odd that in the time Keith has been travelling round she hasn't managed to get a pidgeot. I'm curious to see how tim and criss perform but I'm sure it'll be pretty cool. I kinda think/hope Criss will actually find some decent competition rather than steamrolling everything like she usually does but that remains to be seen.
    Read my fanfic Tales of the Gym leader's and comment if you like or dislike it thanks

    A massive thanks to Kyuujux for the amazing banner

  6. #126
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Oh, I didn't expect that bitch Anna to come back especially after insulting Keith for pursuing badges.

    I'm glad he showed her where she belongs. >:D

  7. #127
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Hooray! It's time for a new chapter and it's only been nine days. Here's hoping I can keep that streak up. I'm super excited about writing now, since we're edging so close to the big climax (which I start towards in this chapter). Thanks everyone for responding, by the way. I'm getting ahead of myself though, here's the chapter.

    Quick note: I originally had Anna show up again in this chapter but dropped the part in favor of the TV scene, sorry. Didn't want this to get too long, I'm already truncating the battles.

    Tags: @Stellar Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ; @MidnightGhost ;

    This time: Keith goes up against his hardest opponent yet, will he pull through?

    Chapter 31


    I've decided to start putting the name of upcoming chapters in the table of contents, so if you're curious you can take a look, but there may be spoilers.

  8. #128
    Writer Trouble's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Hey! It's late for me to notice, but I've been away for a while, apparently you're back too! I don't know if you left for long, but I'm glad to be reading your story again. Well done again. Catching up on the missed chapters was a pleasure, and I'll be keeping up for as long as I'm not too busy.

  9. #129
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    That battle was one of your best ones yet, no seriously it wasn't too long but it wasn't too short either and you also managed to keep the action going. Personally I was expecting for Neil to have the same ability as Keith when he started to match Keith's movements.

    That being said I wonder what will come next now that Keith will have to battle against his friends and I expect to see a lot of development coming from Spencer.

  10. #130
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Thanks for the responses, guys!

    I'm glad you liked the battle, Haze. I've been working my butt off to keep these things exciting and I'm kind of getting tired of battles. Unfortunately I still have three full 6v6 battles before I get to take a break. I'll probably do some skimping like I did with the battle at the beginning of Chapter 31. It's for your own good, though, the quicker we get on to the next part of the story the better. No, Neil doesn't have psychic abilities, he's just a really good trainer. I definitely do need to develop Spencer some more, I'll work on that.

    I really wanted to be done with the tournament by now, so that I could have my new antagonist (who we'll glimpse in the next chapter) be eligible for the awards, but that's not going to happen.

  11. #131
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    This took a lot longer than I thought it would, especially because I drew out the battle a lot more than I really should have. When I finally wrap up this tournament arc, I think I'm going to take a short hiatus (no longer than the undeclared ones I've been having :P) so that I can get each of the climax chapters out within a week of each other.

    Sorry for how long this chapter is, I really meant for it to be shorter, but I got carried away with some characterization.

    Tags: @Stellar Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ; @MidnightGhost

    This time: EPIC CLIMAX FORESHADOWING; Keith vs Spencer

    Chapter 32


  12. #132
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Yay for Keith's victory! now I just hope Criss beats Tim so that she and Keith can have a heck of a final battle...unless something else happens.

    And there was a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter I wonder who that man was, I'm gonna say Giovanni but I don't think you'll go for something obvious right? I'll stay tuned for when his identity is revealed.

    Not everything is a ray of sunshine though I can understand that it got dull for you and decided to skip fights, however I think you probably skipped a little too much and this in turn caused the battle itself to become dull at some points plus a lot of the paragraphs were really long to read so I recommend dividing them more.

  13. #133
    Registered User sperance's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Whew! Finally done! I plowed though all the chapters in one sitting and you, my good sir have impressed me so far. It seems I struck a gold mine finding this and I'm waiting eagerly for the next chapter!

  14. #134
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    Yay for Keith's victory! now I just hope Criss beats Tim so that she and Keith can have a heck of a final battle...unless something else happens.

    And there was a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter I wonder who that man was, I'm gonna say Giovanni but I don't think you'll go for something obvious right? I'll stay tuned for when his identity is revealed.

    Not everything is a ray of sunshine though I can understand that it got dull for you and decided to skip fights, however I think you probably skipped a little too much and this in turn caused the battle itself to become dull at some points plus a lot of the paragraphs were really long to read so I recommend dividing them more.
    I get what you mean about the battles. The next chapter will have only a sliver of the match between Criss and Tim, I don't want to spend too much time on it. I'll make up for that in the Championship match, though (not to mention we still have the Pokemon League battles).

    I'd suggest taking another look at the conversation between Criss and Keith, the man's name is mentioned (and that is his real name, mind you). I needed an original character to have a little more flexibility with an antagonist. Giovanni will play an important part in the story, but I always imagined him to be like Moriarty - pulling strings in the shadows.

    Quote Originally Posted by sperance View Post
    Whew! Finally done! I plowed though all the chapters in one sitting and you, my good sir have impressed me so far. It seems I struck a gold mine finding this and I'm waiting eagerly for the next chapter!
    Wow! I commend you, that is an impressive feat of marathon reading. I hope you stick around, it'd be great to have another reader.

    I have spring break next week, so I'll try to push out the next couple chapters.

  15. #135
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by AetherX View Post
    I have spring break next week, so I'll try to push out the next couple chapters.
    Oh how wrong was I....

    So yeah, here we are three months later. I'm still alive. This chapter's been done for a few weeks, but I haven't gotten the chance to revise it and put it up until today.

    Tags: @Stellar Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ; @MidnightGhost
    ^Do these even work anymore? I haven't gotten notified for mentions in ages...

    This time: Tim vs Criss (kinda), MOAR EPIC CLIMAX FORESHADOWING


    Chapter 33


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