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  1. #91
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by sharktooth162 View Post
    Well I cant say no to more Koga cause he is awesome but I still hope that Keith flaunts the rules if he gets wartortle back and then it bites him in the ass later. I was pretty surprised that Tim gave up Zubat so easily but I suppose if he thought it was better of with Koga then who am I to judge. Cant wait for the new chapter and hope you do well in the awards.
    That's one vote for Tim, then. Yeah, sorry about the Zubat part, it was a little rushed and last minute. It would probably have been more dramatic from Tim's point of view, with all sorts of flashbacks and sad music, but Keith was just an observer. Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsutarja View Post
    Make this a Tim arc, so the next chapter should be Tim's gym battle. :D

    Awesome chapter by the way, I really enjoyed it. Keep it up! ^^
    Glad to see that you guys like Tim. I was afraid he was being underdeveloped. Thanks for reading!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Flame Haze View Post
    I think the next chapter should be Tim's battle mostly because once we get back to Keith it's not sure when he's getting any more focus so I think it might be good to choose the battle.

    Also I don't think what you should decide is whether the chapter will be Keith getting a Dratini or Tim's battle, I think the thing to focus on is the fact that where's Rainer gonna go once he recovers it.

    Also I nominated Sabrina for Best Take on a Canon Character on the first day.
    Looks like Tim it is, then. I do actually have plans for a short 5-6 chapter story dealing with what Tim's up to when Keith's not around, which is important stuff as you'll see by the end of the fic. I'll release it between Unpredictable and its currently untitled sequel.

    You guys seem to be operating under the belief that Rainer's coming back soon, we'll have to see about that ;) Trust me, I've got it all planned out. It will be "unpredictable." That means absolutely no foreshadowing.

    You nominated Sabrina, too? You may want to go back and check that, your post just has Stainless Steel's Steven. I can't find Sabrina on any of the lists...

    Anyway, I'll start writing Tim's battle. Then chapter 25 will have the first half be Tim's PoV and the second half be Keith's. Keith will tell what happened to him, and Criss also has a little story to tell. She, however, only feels comfortable telling Keith.

    Thanks for everyone's support!

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  2. #92
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Finally back, this took a long time to write. Hopefully it's good. I changed Koga's team a little bit from the games, because who the hell would want to use TWO Koffing and a Weezing?

    This time: Tim battles Koga, and two of his Pokemon make their Gym battling debut.

    @Sky Flame Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ;

    Chapter 24
    Last edited by AetherX; 21st July 2011 at 02:25 PM.

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  3. #93
    Writer Trouble's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Awesome chapter, cool fight. Quite honestly, if anyone has anything critical to say at this point, I'm going to say they're wrong. You've got talent for story telling and descriptive language. The battle was intense, and it got me wishing I would train a Gyarados more often in my games. :P

    It also made me hate poison-types even more...

    Anyway, really cool stuff, just one thing I noticed...

    "The attack caught everyone else by surprise. Muk sucked itself in even smaller than minimize had made it, and everything went quite."

    Should be "quiet," I think. Not really criticism, same letters wrong order, and it really didn't distract at all from the story, and few other people would probably see it.

    I can't stress enough how awesome I think this is though, seriously.

  4. #94
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    That was actually longer than I expected considering it was Tim instead of Keith but the battle was really well done. I was actually surprised with the fact that all the blobs returned with just one being returned. Also I like the fact that Tim got a lot of development this time.

  5. #95
    Registered User MrWhite325's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    I'm really liking this story so far. I gotta tell you, the way you described the entire sequence with Muk, made me queasy. Never had I imagined a Grimer/Muk actually being ripped apart like the Thing.

    Also another thing, whenever any of you read a fan fic, do you picture the story in the style of the show?

  6. #96
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Awesome chapter, cool fight. Quite honestly, if anyone has anything critical to say at this point, I'm going to say they're wrong. You've got talent for story telling and descriptive language. The battle was intense, and it got me wishing I would train a Gyarados more often in my games. :P

    It also made me hate poison-types even more...

    Anyway, really cool stuff, just one thing I noticed...

    "The attack caught everyone else by surprise. Muk sucked itself in even smaller than minimize had made it, and everything went quite."

    Should be "quiet," I think. Not really criticism, same letters wrong order, and it really didn't distract at all from the story, and few other people would probably see it.

    I can't stress enough how awesome I think this is though, seriously.
    I dunno if there's nothing wrong. Personally, I find my word choice and sentence structure to be repetitive, but hey, we're all our own worst critic. Gyarados are pretty awesome. It was another one I was planning on giving to Keith, but when I finalized the teams, Keith got a Squirtle instead. Error fixed, thanks. Thanks for the compliments! It really means a lot.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Flame Haze View Post
    That was actually longer than I expected considering it was Tim instead of Keith but the battle was really well done. I was actually surprised with the fact that all the blobs returned with just one being returned. Also I like the fact that Tim got a lot of development this time.
    That was the idea with this chapter. Hopefully people like Tim better now. His character has some serious evolution to undergo, especially where it comes to his battling skills. The battle ended up longer than I had originally planned, but I guess my imagination just got carried away.

    Quote Originally Posted by MrWhite325 View Post
    I'm really liking this story so far. I gotta tell you, the way you described the entire sequence with Muk, made me queasy. Never had I imagined a Grimer/Muk actually being ripped apart like the Thing.

    Also another thing, whenever any of you read a fan fic, do you picture the story in the style of the show?
    Always great to see a new reader! Personally, I can't imagine having a Grimer or Muk in a fic without it being ripped into a few pieces. It only makes sense. I usually imagine things in a combination of anime and realism. It varies.


    Forgive me if some of this chapter is nonsense, most of it was written between 11PM and 2AM (when most of my writing takes place, actually). I did some revising, but I might have missed stuff. This is a long'un, so be patient (second longest in the fic, behind only chapter 1 at 4,741 words). A LOT goes on though, so if you've got attention span problems, read this in chunks. You will NOT want to miss ANY of this. Why? you ask. Because I had to jam in my original content for the previous chapter (before my idea got vetoed by you guys :P), some HUGE foreshadowing, and a ton of other stuff. I was going to include the ride to Cinnabar at the end, but that will have to wait until next chapter. If things seem a little jumpy and un-elaborated in Keith's story, that's your fault, I had to jam a whole chapter down to a couple pages.

    Also, to any of you wannabe detectives out there, this is the single most important chapter in the fic for Criss' backstory. Not just so far, but over all. By the end of this one, all the cards will be on the table. You will have every bit of information you need, you just have to piece it all together. I look forward to some wild/educated guesses.

    Now that the author's notes have gotten incredibly long, let us move on to the chapter.

    This time: Keith recounts his adventure in the Safari Zone, then Criss finally speaks up.

    @Sky Flame Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ;
    (I'm only tagging the people who have specifically asked to be tagged. If you want to join the list, then just speak up!)


    Chapter 25




    Also, if you haven't voted already DO IT. Even though it would be nice if you voted for me, or rather, Criss, it's not totally necessary. Participate!
    Last edited by AetherX; 23rd October 2012 at 01:43 AM.

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  7. #97
    Registered User sharktooth162's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    If you really want my opinion on the 'stony companions' I think Criss's will be called into action straightaway whereas Keith's will be exchanged for a more fiery companion. I almost shed a tear when he released Locustod, very well done on creating such a moving scene.
    Read my fanfic Tales of the Gym leader's and comment if you like or dislike it thanks

    A massive thanks to Kyuujux for the amazing banner

  8. #98
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    It's too bad that he never understood Locostud until it was too late, but I do hope they see each other again sometime later, but that's just me hoping.

    Anyway I'm glad that we finally got to see some of Criss's past if little, though granted I didn't think it would be something so shocking, maybe if Nathaniel survive he could participate in the story somehow, it'll just be interesting to see.

    Also hooray for Criss finally letting someone comfort her, and for Keith finally catching that Dratini, now we just need Rainer back.

  9. #99
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Quote Originally Posted by sharktooth162 View Post
    If you really want my opinion on the 'stony companions' I think Criss's will be called into action straightaway whereas Keith's will be exchanged for a more fiery companion. I almost shed a tear when he released Locustod, very well done on creating such a moving scene.
    You'll find out when I finish the next chapter ;) I'm glad you liked the release scene. I thought it could have been done a little better, but the chapter was already too long. "Goodbye Butterfree" is still my favorite anime episode :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Flame Haze View Post
    It's too bad that he never understood Locostud until it was too late, but I do hope they see each other again sometime later, but that's just me hoping.

    Anyway I'm glad that we finally got to see some of Criss's past if little, though granted I didn't think it would be something so shocking, maybe if Nathaniel survive he could participate in the story somehow, it'll just be interesting to see.

    Also hooray for Criss finally letting someone comfort her, and for Keith finally catching that Dratini, now we just need Rainer back.
    I don't have any plans for a reunion, but that's not a bad idea. We have a long way to go, so maybe I'll throw something in. Probably not, though. You thought that was shocking? You should see Criss's full background! Once again, I will say RE-READ CHAPTER 2! It's right there! The piece that will make everything fall into place (if you're good). Don't make me drop a hint as to what you should be looking for... that wouldn't be fun. But if no one makes a guess then I will somewhere in the next few chapters. As I was writing this I was thinking about how Nathaniel and/or his family could play into this, you'll have to wait and see. I'm trying to avoid spoilers here, but I will say that we will know Rainer's fate by the end of the fic.

    I'm leaving for two weeks on Friday, so I'll try to have the next chapter out by then. Once I come back, I'll be brimming with inspiration, so get ready for the first of three climaxes!

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  10. #100
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    How long are you leaving for?

  11. #101
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Two weeks. From the 29th to August 12th I believe.

    Also, I was just looking over my notes and realized that I gave Criss one more Pokemon than I meant to. So, who will get the boot, Arbok or Onix? I'm thinking Onix right now, and it doesn't matter too much but you guys can have a say if you want.

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  12. #102
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    I say Onix

  13. #103
    Registered User sharktooth162's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    You see I thought the stony companions were moon stones for some reason but after rereading it I realise they're not and as a result of that information I vote for Onyx. This will be very interesting as to what happens next in light of this recollection.
    Read my fanfic Tales of the Gym leader's and comment if you like or dislike it thanks

    A massive thanks to Kyuujux for the amazing banner

  14. #104
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    Back again :) It's been a long while, but I had plenty of time to visualize and plan out some very important scenes. Hopefully this chapter is worth the wait, a lot happens. This one has some music to it as well, be sure to have a listen, it's pretty epic. Not to mention, the scene with the music is the first scene I ever planned out for this fic EVER! I hope it doesn't seem rushed, because it was. I'm anxious to move on with the story while at the same time I don't really feel like writing the next chapter. Anyway, read on...

    This time: The trio heads to Cinnabar Island where new Pokemon are met, old ones are released, and young ones grow experienced. Secrets are revealed and a new goal forms. Yeah, a lot happens.

    @Sky Flame Haze ; @sharktooth162 ; @Tsutarja ;

    Chapter 26



    EDIT: Forget to mention, Criss won Best Supporting Character! Thanks to all of you who voted, I'm sure she appreciates it too ;) I'm not going to lie, one of the biggest reasons I added her was to have a really likeable badass character.

    EDIT EDIT: Forgot tags :P Btw, this fic is now over 75,000 words long. I'll let you know when I hit 100k.

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  15. #105
    Registered User sharktooth162's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Unpredictable"

    I'm gonna guess that its gonna be Criss, Keith, Tim and that girl from cereulean city who told Keith about the Magnemite.
    Read my fanfic Tales of the Gym leader's and comment if you like or dislike it thanks

    A massive thanks to Kyuujux for the amazing banner

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