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  1. #1
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    Arrow Tales from Seon

    Chapter 1: Journey to the Present

    Zach woke; brushing the sleep from his eyes he got out of bed, got dressed and began his daily routine. Today was like any other day in Shanklin Town. Sunny, windy, and most noticeably, boring. Wight Island was known for its vast lack of Pokemon, despite the warm climate, and may different habitats only regular animals chose to make their home here. While there were some Pokemon across the island, these were very few, and mainly other people’s Pokemon which they caught elsewhere in the Seon Region, wild Pokemon were distinctly harder to find.

    “Zachary are you ready?” his Mum quizzed from down the stairs, “we’re going to Sandown town to visit your Nan, she’s got your birthday present for you remember.” Zach dreaded at the thought of going to his Nan’s house, Sandown Town was known for being a retirement town, and there was nothing to do there. However he loaded his DS with the latest Pokemon game and sighed, “Why can’t I be a real Pokemon trainer, instead of being stuck just playing the game?” Zach was finally ready and got in his Mum’s car, ready for the drive to Sandown Town.

    As the breeze hit his face, while sitting in the passenger seat of his Mum’s latest convertible, Zach allowed his mind to wonder. “Now remember honey, don’t try and be too disappointed with whatever your Nan gets you, I know it’s a day late, but she had to get it delivered from Dover Town,” said Mum “Fair enough,” quipped Zach. He dreaded to think what she had got him, Nan was secretive about what she got him all the time, and although Mum knew it had to be delivered from Dover Town, he was certain she had no idea what the actual gift was.

    As the car pulled up the drive at Zach’s Nan’s House in Sandown Town, his Nan was already waiting to greet him. “Zachary,” she exclaimed. “My how you’ve grown.” Zach hugged his Nan and went inside, his Mum locking the car behind them, giving a hug and kiss to her own mother and strolled in. The day was dull, despite knowing he would not enjoy his present, Zach was still eager to receive it, in the hope of the small chance that it was something good. Zach’s Mum and Nan were chatting while Zach was playing fetch with his Nan’s Lillipup. The dog eager to play with Zach, always enjoyed Zach’s company, and was at her happiest, whenever Zach was around.

    “He’s so good with Pokemon,” said Nan. “How can you not see it?” she asked Zach’s Mum.
    “I’m just not happy with you doing this, he’s only 16,” Mum responded.
    “I was 10 when I began my journey,” said Nan
    “Yes but things were different then, it was the 50’s, the region was safer,” Mum argued.
    “Young Zachary is more than ready, I have lived in different parts of Seon all my life, I have scoured the whole region, and not once, did I see a person who gets on better with Pokemon than Zachary.”
    “I don’t care, it’s irresponsible,” Mum angrily replied. “You are going to get him killed.”

    At this point Zach came back into the room, “Why am I going to get killed?” asked Zach.
    “Nothing,” said Zach’s Mum, “just leave it.”
    “Zachary, it is time I gave you your present,” his Nan interrupted. “I’m sorry it’s a day late, but the post has been terrible lately.” She walked over to her finest cupboard, turned the key, and opened the door. She pulled out a fine crafted, wooden box made of the finest Oak, and polished to perfection. “I’ve got something very special for you in here.” Zachary dreaded, it was probably an old family heirloom which had no place in the modern world.
    “You can only take one” Zach’s Nan continued. She walked over to the table and put the box on the side. “I got Professor Tirsina to send them over as soon as she could, she was so helpful.” Professor Tirsina was the regions professor, while young she had moved from far away where Pokemon was not heard of, and quickly became fond of the creatures, and studied relentlessly to become a Pokemon Professor to study the Pokemon more closely.

    Zach’s nan, reached inside the Oak chest, and pulled out 5 Pokeballs. Zach was ecstatic; he knew instantly what he had been given. He was going to receive his first starter Pokemon. Trainers in the Seon region can choose from 5 Pokemon, Dratini a Dragon Type, Larvitar a Rock/Ground Type, Bagon another Dragon Type, Gible a Dragon/Ground Type, and finally Deino a Dark/Dragon Type.

    “Now Zachary, as you know, Wight Island, is sparsely populated with Pokemon, but that is not true for the entire Seon Region, there are countless of Pokemon in the Seon Region, many exotic and foreign, from when there was a great empire in this land, and now it is time for you to start a journey.” Zach’s Mum was refusing to watch.
    “So now, I would like you to take one of these Pokeballs, and begin your journey.” Zach leaped up and grabbed the nearest Pokeball, threw it into the air, and shouted “Pokemon Go.” The ball opened... and there was nothing inside, the ball fell back down to the ground.
    “Oh no honey I’m sorry, there aren’t any Pokemon inside them, I just got you the balls, we don’t have any wild Pokemon here, and I couldn’t find anyone willing to sell me a Pokemon.” His Nan explained. Zach brushing tears out of his eyes ran out of the house, his Mum in hot pursuit.

    “How could you just run out like that,” shouted Zach’s Mum at the edge of the driveway. “She tried really hard to get you a Pokeball, why did you think she’d be able to get you a Pokemon as well?”
    “Because there were 5, I thought they were the 5 starting Pokemon,” sobbed Zach.
    “No, Professor Tirsina sent 4 too many by accident, she’s such a ditz that girl, your Nan has to return 4 of them.” Mum explained. “Besides, you could always use the Pokeball to catch a Pokemon?”
    “How when there are no wild Pokemon?” quizzed Zach.
    “I’m sure you can find one,” Mum replied.

    At this point, Lillipup was eagerly climbing at Zach’s leg. “Lillipup go back inside,” said Zach.
    However the dog was not moving. However much Zach tried to shake the dog off, it kept clinging on tight, refusing to let go. Zach tried everything, and was becoming increasingly irate at the dogs refusal to leg to. After 3 or 4 minutes of this Zach got so angry by the persistent pup that in a fit of anger, combined with his upset at not getting a Pokemon, kicked the dog. The dog fell to the ground. Zach’s mum slapped him across the face, “What are you doing?”She ran over to the dog, and held it in her arms when a purple light began to envelope the Pokemon. “It’s evolving,” exclaimed Zach. The light faded, and where Lillipup once lay, now laid, a small black fox. Zach’s Nan came running out, “Zorua, Zorua,” she picked the fox up. “Lillipup evolves into an Arcanine doesn’t it?” asked Mum perplexed.
    “No,” boomed Zach. “It should have evolved into a Herdier.”
    His Nan interrupted...“Listen, there’s something I need to tell you, 2 years ago, Lillipup died, poachers came from the mainland, looking for this Zorua that had snuck onto a boat coming to here to escape from them. I took Zorua into hiding, but when the men found us, they shot at us, and Lillipup was killed, the police arrived and the men were arrested, but Lillipup was dead. This Zorua took pity on me, and to thank me for helping it used its Illusion ability to disguise itself as my Lillipup, it could disguise its gender and everything.”Zorua was regaining consciousness and began to lick Zach’s hand.
    “I’m sorry Zorua.” cried Zach. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
    “Zorua still likes you Zach, he can sense your kind heart and you’ve grown close over the past 2 years, I want you to take Zorua on your journey.”
    “WHAT!!!” exclaimed Zach’s mum. “Not after what he did, I’m sorry, I’m not allowing him to go on a Pokemon Journey if he treats them like that.”
    “Amber, do I have to remind you, what you did when you were 15” asked Nan.
    “No, but that’s why I never went on a Pokemon journey, I could never forgive myself.” She retorted.
    “You killed that Baltoy in a sheer fit of rage because you were going through a hard time, but on your 16th birthday, I still wanted to send you off on your Pokemon journey, but you refused.”
    “Fine, if you want him to take Zorua, that’s fine, but don’t be surprised if Zorua gets hurt.”
    “I am sure Zorua will be hurt, I know it, but not by Zach, but by battling other Pokemon, there will also be accidents no doubt along the journey, but Zach and Zorua’s relationship will only get stronger, and they will overcome the challenges, and they will make a fine team.”
    “I never caught Zorua, it didn’t feel right, he was not my Pokemon, he’s still wild, so take one of the spare Pokeball’s Zach and take Zorua with you. You should probably head to Pembridge town, the Pokedex factory is located there, and you might be able to pick yourself up one. Take the €30 your mother gave you for your birthday, and buy yourself one, its valuable for any trainer.”

    “Thank you so much,” said Zach. Crying and hugging his Nan. After he had calmed down, he took the empty Pokeball, and Zorua waited to be caught. He threw the ball, and after 3 shakes, the ball was sealed, and Zach set off on his journey with Zorua, waving goodbye to his Mum and Nan as he did so.
    Last edited by Zorua's Illusion; 27th March 2011 at 10:36 AM.

  2. #2
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales from Seon

    Alright. Well, the spacing and paragraphs are all messed up. Try seeing some of the other fics to see what I mean. You have the whole dialogue thing down, but the descriptive-ness is not very good.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Tales from Seon

    What do you mean the spacing and paragraphs is messed up? What's wrong?

  4. #4
    *rules with cotton fist* Kayi-chan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales from Seon

    Quote Originally Posted by Zorua's Illusion View Post
    What do you mean the spacing and paragraphs is messed up? What's wrong?
    Cabaret refers to the fact that we tend to leave an open space between paragraphs in stories, to make it easier on the eyes of the readers. Here's a fragment of your story as an example:

    “He’s so good with Pokemon,” said Nan. “How can you not see it?” she asked Zach’s Mum.

    “I’m just not happy with you doing this, he’s only 16,” Mum responded.

    “I was 10 when I began my journey,” said Nan

    “Yes but things were different then, it was the 50’s, the region was safer,” Mum argued.

    “Young Zachary is more than ready, I have lived in different parts of Seon all my life, I have scoured the whole region, and not once, did I see a person who gets on better with Pokemon than Zachary.”

    “I don’t care, it’s irresponsible,” Mum angrily replied. “You are going to get him killed.”
    Note, however, that this is not required by the rules, and that it is a mere writer and reader preference. Many of our people here like it spaced out, but if you like it as it is right now, it's OK

    Now, back to read your first chapter of this exciting new region! *secret: adores new regions*

    2010/08/02: 4th chapter

    More fanfiction at:
    Kayi S. Rowling's Library

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Tales from Seon

    Ok people, so tell me what you think of the first chapter guys? :D

  6. #6
    *rules with cotton fist* Kayi-chan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tales from Seon

    Quote Originally Posted by Zorua's Illusion View Post
    Ok people, so tell me what you think of the first chapter guys? :D
    I think it was very interesting!

    Your writing technique has its issues (you have commas in places they don't belong, etc.), but the region and the characters (especially their backstories) seem quite good!

    Keep it up!

    2010/08/02: 4th chapter

    More fanfiction at:
    Kayi S. Rowling's Library

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