Thread: Tales of the Gym leader's

Hey guys I've started writing back stories for all the Gym leaders on how they gained their first pokemon and the other half will be a battle between them and a powerful trainer with their strongest team. My first story is on Brock as he was the most logical person to start with so give me your opinion and if you think its good I'll write one for misty and so on.

Brock's Tale

Misty's Tale

Lt. Surge's Tale

Erika's Tale Part 1

Brock’s tale

As Brock strolled out of Mount Moon to face another day of challengers at the Pewter city gym he felt good. He had spent the entire weekend in the mountain and his Pokémon had grown considerably in strength. Unlike most trainers who ventured into Mount Moon he didn’t just use it as a path to cerulean city he used it as a training ground and because of this he knew of the upper reaches of the mountain where the strongest Pokémon lived. This meant he could keep two teams of Pokémon one for trainers from Kanto who were just starting their journey and needed an easy start which consisted of a weak Geodude and fairly powerful onyx. However he had a second team for his true challengers this team was the Pokémon he had had his whole life and he had trained them meticulously until they became some of the most powerful rock types in the world. His strongest Pokémon was his Onix and was probably the most powerful in the world as he had been training it since he was ten when his father had caught it for him as a birthday present. His mind wandered back to that day as his gym came into sight and he recalled the excitement of that fateful day.


That morning Brock had woken up full of feverish excitement as he knew that was the day he would get his first Pokémon and when his dad had asked what Pokémon he wanted and he immediately said
“Onix”.
They were the biggest toughest Pokémon in Mount Moon so his father was a little apprehensive to promise this so he eventually said
“We’ll try for an Onix but if we can’t find one we’ll get you a Geodude, is that alright.”
“Yeah OK” Brock mumbled feeling a little disappointed “but you gotta help me train it until it becomes a Golem if we do”
“That sounds fair” Brocks father chuckled and they strode off towards the mountain to hunt for an elusive Onix. Though they spent the whole day inside the mountain all they seemed to find were mountains of Geodude, which Brock’s father caught the largest and toughest of as a reserve, tons of Zubat and the occasional Cleffairy but none of the elusive Onix. As the day turned to night Brock’s father finally made the decision to head back and turned to his son and began said
“I’m sorry but it looks like all the Onix are hiding today but-“.His speech was cut short by the ground erupting next to him and a great rock snake bursting out with a great roar which scared off all the other wild Pokémon. Brock ‘s Father immediately released Blastoise and commanded it to unleash a hydro pump and the twin cannons mounted on the giant turtles back blasted a torrent of water at the raging Onyx which sent it flying into the cave wall.
“Follow it up with a skull bash” Brocks father bellowed and the turtle flew headfirst into the stunned Onix like a cannonball knocking it out. Brock instinctively threw the ultra ball which sent out a stream of yellow energy which enveloped the giant creature in shining yellow then sucked it into the tiny capsule which dropped to the ground with a clatter and shook once, twice, three times then flashed yellow indicating the capture had been made. The father and son's cheers echoed off the walls of cavern and followed them all the way home.


When they arrived they went out into the back yard and released Brocks new Pokémon which turned to him as if awaiting further instruction.
“Show me what you can do” Brock whispered awe filling his voice. The two Pokémon both charged forward then stopped suddenly.
“Tackle” Brock muttered they then both picked up some pebbles, Onix with its tail and Geodude with its hands and threw them across the garden.
“Rock throw” Brock murmured as the two Pokémon showed their final attack where Geodude wrapped its arms around itself while Onix lashed out angrily with its tail.
“Defence curl and Rage” Brock mumbled,and returned the Pokémon to their respective balls and placed them on the belt his dad had given him.



“They’re strong Pokémon, son raise them well” his father said and raise them he did until the present day where he was one of the most revered Rock type trainers in the world and he sat in his Gym taking challenges from all comers although today had been so far quite boring with only a couple of new trainers who had two Pokémon each but also had type advantages over his two Pokémon.This made the fights relatively short and easy for the trainer but gave them the boost of confidence they needed to start their journey, though he thought red and blue were very strange names. When he was just about to close a young man walked in and he knew he was up for a great battle as the man had a full belt of pokeballs which either meant he’d gone a bit nuts with the pokeballs Prof. Oak had given him or he was from a different region.


“Are you Brock?” he asked with a Hoenn accent and Brocks heart leapt. This meant he had already gone through the Hoenn league and probably the Johto league so he was gonna have some pretty strong Pokémon.
“Yes I am and is that a Hoenn accent?”Brock asked.
“It is have you been before?”
“Yes I was visiting my good friend Roxanne of Rustboro gym.”
“Ah, she was my first Gym battle her Nosepass really gave me problems.”
“Yes she is a good leader. Me and her had a battle while I was there it was close but I just beat her though in a year or so I can’t help thinking the result will be different.”
“Very interesting but without meaning to be rude I would quite like to battle.”
“Of course I’ll just get my good team” and he strolled to the back of a gym and picked up the belt that his father had given him all those years ago off a plinth and clipped it around his waist. He then walked to his end of the field and released his first Pokémon.


“A Golem, who did you trade with to get it” the man quizzed.
“My father, it was one of my first Pokémon but it was a quick trade and trade back again” Brock replied and the young man released his first Pokémon which was a Pelipper. The Pelipper used windstorm but Golem quickly countered with a sandstorm which buffeted the Pelipper causing it to crash into the ground receiving a little damage as it did so but Brock then capitalized by using Earthquake causing the downed bird to repeatedly smash against the floor. The bird then flew up again and used hydro pump which sent out a torrent of water which sent the golem flying against the wall. Though Golem was weak it managed to summon up the energy to stomp the ground and use rock slide which caused stalactites to fall from the ceiling and smashed Pelipper into the ground.


“Pelipper is unable to battle” the referee called
“Nice move” the young man said as he chose a pokeball form his belt “I’ve never seen sandstorm used that way”
“Well with birds using close combat now I need some way to ground them” Brock replied as he returned his Golem and muttered “I’ll save you for later”. The young man then sent out a Camerupt which sent a jet of fire from the twin volcanoes on its back. Brock then decided to send out is Omastar which the young man looked at curiously
“So you revive fossils here too” the young man mused
“Well we used to at cinnabar but then it blew its top so now we have it here in pewter which is much better for me” replied Brock
“How interesting I wonder-“a roar from his Camerupt indicated it wanted to battle and the conversation was cut short as Camerupt used fissure causing the earth to split beneath Omastar which immediately used protect to save itself from the abyss and countered with a brine which sent salty water flying at Camerupt severely wounding it with its double type advantage. Camerupt then released fire from its twin humps at the ceiling causing a rock slide on top of the helpless Omastar which took a beating but not enough for it to be serious and Brock ordered another Brine on the already wounded Camerupt forcing salty water into the open wound of Camerupt and the pain it caused brought the eruption Pokémon out of consciousness.


“Camerupt is unable to battle”the referee yelled. Though Brock had taken out two of the young man’s Pokémon he still felt nervous as he knew the young man had some great Pokémon waiting in the wings. The young man released a Gardevoir while Brock left his Omastar on the field. Omastar unleashed a jet of water at the ceiling which caused a rock slide on Gardevoir but the embrace Pokémon just stood there and took it with its eyes closed as if in a trance it then opened its eyes and stared at Omastar which immediately fell asleep from a hypnosis attack and in a flash Gardevoir was next to it with its hand on it and Brock suddenly realised that it was using dream eater and knew his Omastar wasn’t waking up.
“Omastar is unable to battle” the referee called and Brock promptly threw out his next pokeball which contained a Relicanth.
“I see I’m not the only one with a Hoenn Pokémon” the young man called.
“It was my prize from Roxanne when I beat her. I’d wagered a Rhyhorn with thunder fang so it was a good match.”Brock replied and the fight began
Relicanth immediately charged forward with a head smash which sent Gardevoir flying across the room badly wounded but relicanth seemed fine
“How is it not hurt” the young man asked confused
“Rock head” Brock said and the young man simply nodded dejectedly. As Relicanth tried to use aqua tail it suddenly stopped and started thrashing around in agony and Brock noticed Gardevoir getting up and realised it was as a result of the previous future sight attack which Gardevoir had instigated while in its supposed trance.He urged his stricken relicanth to use earthquake as it was thrown across the gym by psychic where it eventually slammed its head onto the floor causing the ground to shake and knocking the Gardevoir out.


“Gardevoir is unable to battle” the referee cried as the young man reached to his belt to grab his fourth pokeball which was revealed to contain a Sceptile and Relicanth used rest which made Brock regret his decision as soon as he made it as leaves began to fly at the snoozing relicanth, cutting at it with their razor edges, and gradually growing into a storm and then the forest Pokémon followed up with a powerful leaf blade uppercut which knocked out the sleeping relicanth. Brock grabbed his next pokeball and sent out his Rampardos which pawed the ground ready to charge.
“You really love your ancient Pokémon, don’t you” the young man enquired staring at the head butt Pokémon. Brock simply nodded he was in full battle mode now and was only focused on the battle not distracting chit chat. Rampardos charged forward with the force of an avalanche and its head grew colder as it did so. Sceptile’s leaf storm caused some damage but it just made it seem angrier and more powerful and when it hit Sceptile the gangling grass Pokémon flew across the gym where it slowly got up and turned a bright green colour as it absorbed sunlight from the windows at the sides of the gym and healed its battered body then promptly dodged the Rampardos’ second ice cold charge and waited for it to charge again, this time with stone edge, and caused its head to snap back from a powerful leaf blade to the chin and knocked the ancient Pokémon out.


“Rampardos is unable to battle” the referee called as Brock’s hand hovered over his next pokeball as this was his most powerful Pokemon and he wasn’t sure it was wise at this stage when he made a snap judgement and tossed the gleaming yellow ball out onto the field and an explosion of yellow light produced his powerful Onix which so many had urged him to evolve but was now his most powerful Pokémon and ate Steelix for breakfast. First Onix made Rocks levitate around the side of the arena but they didn’t move which surprised the Sceptile as it attempted a leaf blade but it arm was grabbed by Onix’s tail and the Rock type roared causing Rocks to rain down on the defenceless Sceptile.
“Sceptile is unable to battle” the referee called as the young man immediately released his next Pokémon which was a Blaziken but as he did so the rocks around the field flew towards the Pokémon and smashing into the blaze Pokémon. Onix capitalized on the situation by roaring down more rocks onto the stricken Blaziken until the Onix finally finished it by trapping the Pokémon in a sandstorm and unleashing another rockslide from the ceiling on the trapped Pokémon who fainted without even getting a hit on the Rock snake.


“Blaziken is unable to battle” the referee called as the young man almost dropped his final pokeball before he threw it onto the field unveiling a Swampert who was immediately accosted by the stealth rock attack but then unleashed a wave of brown water at the Onix which was swept back against the gym wall.The stricken Onix unleashed a rock slide but the mud fish had already leapt forward and smashed a hammer arm attack into the Onix sending its head crashing into the ground. The Onix managed another rock slide but only a couple of the rocks hit Swampert and it had already used an earthquake attack to knock out Onix which Brock swept back into its ball without a word
“Onix is unable to battle” the referee called and Brock released his Kabutops which he immediately ordered a giga drain which brought Swampert close to breaking point and it looked like the Pokémon was going to faint when it steeled itself and used endeavour causing the shellfish Pokémon to falter in pain and gave the Swampert an opportunity to use hammer arm and knock out the ancient Pokémon by smashing it with such force it hit the ceiling. The young man smiled as the referee called out "
Kabutops is unable to battle” but it morphed into a frown as he didn’t go on to say “the challenger wins” and his eyes snapped onto Brock as he pulled a pokeball off his belt and unleashed a Pokémon! The young man was shocked as it was against the rules to use a seventh pokemon but his eyes grew even wider as the Pokémon sent out an Earthquake knocking out his Swampert and the referee called out
“Swampert is unable to battle, Brock wins”. The challenger then realized it was the golem from earlier and he hadn’t knocked it out Brock had just returned it and he turned to see Brock smiling.


“Good battle kid but unfortunately I can’t give you a badge unless you win” Brock smiled with his hand outstretched. The young man shook it and moaned
“I can’t believe I forgot you had another Pokémon that is such a rookie mistake”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it I use that little trick all the time and much more experienced trainers than you have fallen for it. Honestly you should have seen how angry Lt. Surge was I thought he was gonna punch me but anyway don’t beat yourself up about it you’ve got a good team so you might wanna visit a few other gym leaders before you re-challenge me but I look forward to the rematch.”
“Me too, and I might steal your move to use on other leaders if that’s alright with you?”
“That’s fine as long as you use it on Surge you’ve gotta see how angry he’ll get its hilarious”
“Will do, see you soon”
“I hope so” and both trainers walked away with grins from ear to ear looking forward to their rematch and hoping that it would be as good as or better than the one they just had.

very good premise, so-so execution

pros: original back story for brock's onix , the actual challenger is a twist

cons: run on sentences, mispelled words, and doesn't really adhere to the game mechanics

Thanks for the feedback though I was more basing it on the Anime physics as I think the battles always seem alot more exciting in that medium but I'm trying to shorten my sentences as its always a problem I've had but again thanks for the feed back and for reading it

Ok starting to write up Misty and her Staryu but I don't know when I'll finish

Originally Posted by sharktooth162

Thanks for the feedback though I was more basing it on the Anime physics as I think the battles always seem alot more exciting in that medium but I'm trying to shorten my sentences as its always a problem I've had but again thanks for the feed back and for reading it

oh okay t makes more sense. does that mean this is anime brock?

Might want to space out your paragraphs. Right now the text is too blocky and I don't want to read it >_>

OK while the battle physics are from the anime the characters arent and their back stories will most likely reflect that especially Surge's and I've spaced out the paragraphs so its easier to read

OK I finally finished Misty and it shouldn't have taken so long but I procrastinate and have terrible memory which aren't great when you want to write something but I hope you enjoy it and would really appreciate feedback.

Misty’s tale
As Misty sat in her gym bored out of her skull waiting for challengers she cursed her decision to become a gym leader. Sure it seemed glamorous with the fame and riches but in reality it boiled down to sitting around and fielding weak teams to give the challenger a chance of winning. Then even if they were weak enough to lose to the pathetic team she was forced to field they would go across the nugget bridge catch an Oddish and end up repeatedly challenging her until they scored a lucky victory. There was one kid who beat her this week after challenging her six times who had started cheering and whooping and calling her a weak trainer when he had got lucky with his Oddish evolving into a gloom halfway through the match. She had been about a millimetre away from snapping and kicking the kid into the pool but she gritted her teeth and gave him the badge and prize money but kept the TM she would normally give successful challengers. Her mind wandered back to catching her first pokemon and the great day it had been.

She had been on the beach at Fuchsia city surfing with her friends. She had always been a tomboy as her sisters had always been the typical beauties fiddling with their hair and keeping their pokemon beautiful for contests they travelled to Hoenn and Sinnoh to compete in. Misty had rebelled furiously against this by wearing boyish clothes and once even shaved one of her sister’s heads when she put makeup on misty in her sleep. The sister had been so angry she had chased Misty out of the house and that was why she was staying in Fuchsia with her friends. She had just surfed off one of the biggest waves of the day and as she drifted onto the beach her friends were cheering. As she strolled toward them she saw a Staryu fighting a Krabby. The crab was clearly much stronger and had cut off all of the Staryu’s points. Misty frantically ran over and whacked the Krabby with her surfboard causing it to fly into the ocean. She picked up the gem that was usually at the centre of the star and walked over to her friends.
“Look at what that Krabby did to this Staryu. How’s it gonna survive without its limbs” Misty exclaimed. But as she said this the gem in the centre of it glowed a bright white and its limbs grew back. Misty looked down in awe at the restored star and her friend Brawly explained
“It must have used recover, most Staryu lose their limbs regularly and they slowly grow back but recover accelerates the process.” Brawly was a surfer from Hoenn who had sailed over to Kanto with his grandfather Mr Briney to see one of his friends but him and Misty had quickly struck up a good friendship.
“Does anyone have a spare pokeball?” Misty quizzed “I wanna make this little guy mine”. One of her friends tossed a red and white capsule over to her and she pressed the button in the centre causing red light to envelop the star pokémon. The ball shook three times in her hand and then the button flashed confirming the catch.

Brawly turned to her happily and enquired
“How about a one on one battle with me? I just caught my first pokemon in Hoenn so it should be a good battle.”
“Sure why not.” Misty smiled and released her newly caught pokemon and quickly ordered a recover to get it to full strength as Brawly ran to get his pokeball out of his bag. Brawly returned and released his pokemon which was a fat yellow pokemon with red circles on its cheeks and black boxing glove like hands.
“What on earth is that?”Asked Misty confused as she had never seen the pokemon before.
“It’s a Makuhita and its native to Hoenn which is probably why you’ve never seen it before.” Brawly retorted “Now shall we get on with the battle” and with that he ordered a vital throw from the guts pokemon but as it grabbed Staryu the star pokemon used rapid spin repeatedly hitting Makuhita in the face causing him to drop it. It then used water gun which sent Makuhita flying backwards into Brawly. Makuhita then charged forward with an arm thrust sending Staryu flying into the air but it used rapid spin in midair to stay up and then shot out a swift attack at the fighting type as it was once again forced back towards its trainer. Staryu finally landed and blasted out another water gun which became too much for the Makuhita and it fell face first into the sand.
“Awesome battle!” Brawly remarked “Next time I’m in Kanto or you’re in Hoenn we gotta do this again.
“Sure” Misty smiled and they all went back to surfing

Misty snapped out of her daydream as her gym trainer was tapping her on the shoulder looking worried.
“What is it, Fin” she snapped, irritated about being disturbed.
“There’s a woman here to see you” Fin stammered worried by his mistress’ anger “she said you’d know who she is.” Misty looked up and saw her least favourite person in the world.
“It’s been a long time, Hayley” growled Misty.
“Too long, sister” Hayley retorted “Which is why I thought I’d drop in for a Gym battle and humiliate you like you did when you cut off my hair.”
“Fine let’s get it over with I want to destroy you before lunch, your pretty contest pokemon won’t last five seconds in the heat of the gym.”
“Oh I gave up those silly contests ages ago, I do gym battles now”

And with that Hayley sent out her first pokemon which was a beautiful serpentine pokemon
“Milotic is much more than pretty face though the same can be said about you with that ugly mug.”And with that Misty hurled out her first pokeball which burst open to reveal a Lanturn. The light Pokémon’s yellow orbs immediately glowed and released a thunderbolt at the tender pokemon which squealed in pain then released an aqua tail at Lanturn which was sent flying to the other side of the pool battlefield. Though the aqua tail had looked powerful in reality it was fairly weak as it had been trained for its attacks to look good and not actually be powerful. Lanturn then sent out a wave of water at Milotic but the wave was crackling with electricity which Milotic realised too late as it washed against the water type and the thunder wave paralysed it and causing another squeal. Lanturn finally released a surf attack which it fired a thunderbolt at just before it hit the paralysed Milotic and the captivating serpent was knocked unconscious.

“Milotic is unable to battle” Fin called and as Hayley selected her next Misty thought about how the Milotic had lost because it had spent so much time training for contests it had become weak would require some serious training to become the battler her sister apparently wanted. Misty was so deep in thought she didn’t notice her sister release her next Pokemon which was a multi-limbed beast and her sister called.
“They don’t come much tougher than Machamp” and Lanturn used surf but as it rode the wave over to hit Machamp the superpower pokemon flew towards Lanturn with a dynamic punch sending the shocked light pokemon flying into the air where Machamp grabbed it and threw it downwards with a seismic toss where it landed on an island and Machamp used an earthquake attack knocking out Lanturn. Misty was shocked as her sisters pokemon had just executed three moves without even touching the ground. She picked up her next pokemon and released her next pokemon which let out a great roar. It was a Gyarados and even the supposedly tough Machamp looked scared of the sea serpent. Machamp’s fists glowed yellow as it prepared a thunder punch but as it lunged for the atrocious pokemon Gyarados began using dragon dance to dodge the flying fists of Machamp. It then leapt up in the air and landed on the superpower pokemon with a bounce attack pinning it down where it turned its head to the squirming Machamp with a ball of orange energy was forming in its mouth and it fired a point-blank hyper beam to the face of the trapped fighting type which instantly fainted.

“Machamp is unable to battle” Fin called and Hayley released a Pachirisu and cooed “Pachirisu may look cute but he can kick any of your Pokémon’s butts and still look adorable”. The Pachirisu grinned and used Charge causing the circles on its cheeks to glow and crackle with electricity while Gyarados recharged from its hyper beam. The Elesquirrel quickly scurried up Gyarados’ tail to use a spark attack on its head but the atrocious pokemon began to buck wildly shaking Pachirisu off with a thrash attack and sending it crashing into the water. Suddenly blue sparks erupted from Pachirisu’s cheeks and they spread across the water paralysing Gyarados, stopping its convulsions and leaving it with a confused look. Pachirisu’s tail turned metallic silver as the confused Gyarados attempted to fire a hyper beam at itself it was hit by the Elesquirrel’s iron tail causing its head to snap up and fire the beam straight at Pachirisu and sending both pokemon to the ground with spirals in their eyes.

“Pachirisu and Gyarados are unable to battle” Fin shouted “The challenger will release her next pokemon first”. Hayley released a gleaming red bug and exclaimed “Scizor’s so cool he should be an Ice type”. Misty released a Floatzel and the battle began with Floatzel charging at Scizor with a waterfall attack but the pincer pokemon dodged with an agility and appeared behind Floatzel and used an X-scissor on it tails and slammed it into the ground. Scizor then picked up Floatzel once again but this time the sea weasel bit the Scizor with an ice fang but the Scizor just grimaced. The Scizor’s head then turned silver and it head butted Floatzel with an iron head attack. Scizor then dropped Floatzel and the sea weasel pulled itself into the water where it swam deep down and eventually exploded out of the water with a waterfall but Scizor was ready with its claw a deep black colour it batted Floatzel away with night slash and finally knocked it out.
“Floatzel is unable to battle” Fin called and Misty released her Lapras who smashed into Scizor off the crest of a giant surf attack and sent the armoured bug crashing into the water. Scizor then smashed Lapras with a dark slash uppercut but the transport pokemon used the momentum for a crushing body slam which finally knocked Scizor out.

“Scizor is unable to battle” Fin called and Hayley released an Alakazam and boasted
“Alakazam is so smart he knows all your moves before you know them.” And with that Alakazam launched itself at Lapras slashing with its spoon for a psycho cut attack but Lapras just sat there and took the hit while singing a haunting song. Lapras then began to summon a wave for a surf attack but Alakazam lifted it out of the water before it could and sent it spinning out onto the side of the pool and by the time Lapras had got back in the Psi pokemon had formed a shadow ball and fired it at Lapras knocking her out.
“Lapras is unable to battle” Fin called and Misty released her Quagsire who immediately used earthquake under Alakazam who simply began to levitate and began to charge an energy but then an echo of Lapras’ song rang out across the gym and Alakazam’s eyes widened then he fainted as a result of Lapras’ previous perish song and Misty muttered “Bet he didn’t see that coming”.

“Alakazam is unable to battle” Fin called and Hayley released her final pokemon which was a Vileplume. Hayley grimaced and said
“Not the prettiest of pokemon but she’s a good battler.”And with that Vileplume began to use petal dance releasing petals everywhere and forcing Quagsire to dive into the water. Vileplume then began to glow a blinding yellow and the room began to get darker. Quagsire tried to use a surf attack but it was blasted off the top of the wave by the solarbeam Vileplume had just released. Quagsire once again dived down under the water however this time he swam headfirst into the platform with an earthquake attack. He then tried to follow up with a brick break but Vileplume had already constructed an emerald green energy ball and released it into the water fish’s face who promptly fainted.
“Quagsire is unable to battle” Fin called and Misty sent out her final pokemon which was a Starmie and also the same Staryu she had caught all those years ago. Starmie’s gem glowed light blue and it fired an ice beam at the flower pokemon which dodged using a petal dance but Starmie used a rapid spin to work with the spiralling nature of the attack and accelerate its own attack to hit Vileplume extra hard with the spinning hit. Starmie then fired a close range icebeam as it was slammed into by an energy ball from Vileplume and both pokemon were sent flying. Starmie then flew back around into Vileplume with a spinning giga impact which sent the flower high up into the air as the flower absorbed sunlight and then used it to heal and began to charge up with solar energy while Starmie recharged as Vileplume got ready to fire it’s solarbeam Starmie’s gem glowed light blue indicating it was ready to fire an icebeam. The two pokemon faced each other knowing if either attack hit it would be the winning one and both got ready to fire. Then it ended in a split second as Starmie released the icebeam while spinning causing it to bend around the path of the Solarbeam allowing the frosty beam to hit but also allowing Starmie to spin out the way of the solarbeam attack as Vileplume was destroyed by the curved icbeam that had just been fired.

“Vileplume is unable to battle, Misty wins” Fin called as Misty ran over to congratulate her sister.
“That was an amazing battle” Misty shouted as she hugged her sister who looked shocked by the unusual display of affection “You just need to stop your Milotic focusing on being beautiful and it’ll be a great pokemon.”
“Thanks for the advice, sis” Hayley beamed as she hugged her little sister back “I’m gonna go try my luck in Johto, I heard the leagues much easier there but I’ll be back.”
“You better be,I never get tired of kicking your ass.”
“And I still need to get you back for cutting my hair” And with that Misty and Fin waved goodbye to the ex coordinator as Alakazam teleported her away and Misty relished the thought of her sisters return.

So that's the whole thing hope you enjoyed it but there was a reference to a character from a different fic in there so see if you can work out who it is. The only hint I'll give is the most obvious reference is right near the end

OK Surge isnt gonna be up for a while as I have a German writing test and English essay to write so I cant start for a bit but when they're done I'll write Surge and this is my favourite story so far but I am beginning to work out a story for Erika which will be alot darker than you'd expect

Nicely, done. I like the idea of making back stories for each gym leader. I have a feeling that Surge's especially will be quite interesting due to the little we know of his background.

Then even if they were weak enough to lose to the pathetic team she was forced to field they would go across the nugget bridge catch an Oddish and end up repeatedly challenging her until they scored a lucky victory.

This made me laugh, it's pretty much what I do in the game whenever I start with Charmander.

Overall this is pretty well written story-wise. Your grammar and spelling needs touching up though. If you did that then this would look much better.

Your battles seem rushed and not very detailed, but I suppose that's what comes from having full six on six battles. Maybe try having the trainers use less Pokemon, or you could just make the stories longer. I wouldn't know, I haven't written a six on six yet, I'd imagine it's a little different than a three on three.

If you want some general writing advice then check out this thread: The Bulbagarden Writing Academy
Some of the articles should help improve your writing. I know they did for me. Just keep at it and don't get rushed.

Originally Posted by jcogginsa

cons: run on sentences, mispelled words, and doesn't really adhere to the game mechanics

It doesn't really need to adhere to the game mechanics...

this is really good, and i thoroughly enjoyed it
good work can't wait for the next one

Originally Posted by isac

this is really good, and i thoroughly enjoyed it
good work can't wait for the next one

Thanks the next one should be up next week or the week after and we'll be delving into Lt. Surge's mysterious past.

Finally a week late I'm finished so read and enjoy the tale of Lt Voltaire Surge

WARNING this fic contains scenes of violence and should not be read by those who will be offended by this


Lt. Surge

Lt. Voltaire Surge was in his element as his Magnemite fried the young trainer’s Ratatta. It was his sixth and final pokemon and all Surge had had to use was his Magnemite. He then issued his usual threat to the challenger
“If you lose to me again it won’t be the pokemon centre you’ll be heading for, it will be Lavender town”. Of course Surge never made good on that threat but there was a reason that well over half of Kanto’s aspiring trainers only earned two badges. Not only was Surge tough but he was terrifying. Any trainer who dared to go for a second challenge would usually bring a Diglett or if they were lucky a Dugtrio. Most would win with this addition but those who didn’t would usually sprint out the door while Surge made his pokemon send out harmless jets of electricity which were well off target but were enough to convince the trainers to never darken his door again. Very occasionally the trainer would not run and stand their ground awaiting their fate. Surge respected this and usually gave them a Thunder badge with the promise that they didn’t tell another soul about what had happened. As the youngster ran from the gym with tears streaking down his face as Surge roared with laughter. He loved it when they cried it usually meant they would give him a great battle if they came back although this was a very rare occurrence.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding, Voltaire” a gruff Russian voice called and memories rushed into Surge like a freight train.

He remembered sitting on the plane with his general talking to him
“Ok Voltaire you and your squadron are dropping into the Japanese island of Kanjo and the information we’ve received is that the wildlife down there is pretty aggressive so be careful”
He looked to his squadron which consisted of Sergeant Gregory, who was a real gentleman and ladies man, Private Horton, who constantly juggled grenades and whatever else he could get his hands on and Corporal Vincent, who played his guitar when their spirits were low. They all stood up and prepared to jump after wishing each other luck and as Surge watched his squad plummet out of the plane he felt a heady sense of anticipation and when it was his turn to jump he smiled and dived out of the plane.

He felt the air rush past him and tug at his clothes as he flew towards the ground and slowly shaped his body to slow his descent and pulled the cord on his parachute. A jolt surged through his entire body as the silk canopy unfurled above his head blocking the sun’s rays and he began pulling on the cords of his parachute to steer towards the landing zone when a giant yellow bird came surging through the clouds. It was almost as tall as him with a long sharp beak and pointed yellow feathers which seemed to crackle with each beat of its wings. As it flew past Voltaire, the turbulence it created buffeted him wildly off course, and his body seemed to go into an uncontrollable spasm. When Voltaire finally recovered from his spasm he realised he was wildly off course and was slowly drifting down towards a forest and quickly steered is parachute to avoid going groin first into a tree branch. The flapping silk canopy caught on the thick tree branches causing Voltaire to dangle in the air and he swore coarsely as he reached for the knife strapped to his leg. He reached up and cut at the cords of his parachute until he fell to the forest floor crumpling on impact.

Voltaire surveyed his new surroundings, replacing his knife on his belt, and tried to work out what to do next. He was in a dense viridian green forest on some sort of dirt path and there were patches of long grass which rustled ominously. Suddenly he saw a yellow flash out of the corner of his eyes and he quickly drew his pistol and aimed at the source of the flash. He was surprised to see a large yellow mouse with red cheeks, pointed ears and a lightning bolt tail. All of a sudden the mouse’s cheeks began to crackle and as Voltaire aimed his pistol a great surge of electricity hit him sending his pistol flying out of his hand and causing Voltaire’s body, once again, to lock up in spasm. He then remembered the general’s words at the briefing
“The wildlife is pretty crazy in the places you’re going, so take these grenades. We got them from the informant who told us about this island and he said they’d be very useful”.
Voltaire slowly reached for the grenade which was perfectly round apart from a small button on the front and a line around the middle which split the grenade into two halves one of which was red, the other white. He then pressed the button and threw it at the mouse in with a baseball pitch and red light erupted out of the ball and enveloped the mouse and then seemed to return to the capsule along with the mouse which then fell to the floor and shook three times before the button flashed red and made clicking sound.
“Wow you caught a Pikachu that’s awesome” a voice exclaimed and Voltaire wheeled round drawing his knife to look at the source of the voice.
“Who are you, where am I and what’s a Pikachu?” Voltaire barked and the man with pure terror in his eyes stuttered
“I’m qu-qu-qu Quintus and you’re in v-v-v-viridian forest and p-p-Pikachu is a p-p-pokemon.”
“What’s a Pokemon?”
The man began to seem more confident Voltaire as the Lieutenant lowered his knife wouldn’t kill him and replied more confidently
“Pokemon are creatures that inhabit our world and coexist with us. Some use them for battling others put them in contests while the majority keep them as pets to help them with chores and for companionship. How do you not know all this?”
“We don’t have Pokemon in America.” Voltaire growled and picked up his pistol and began to walk off.
“Aren’t you going to bring your Pokemon with you” Quintus called as he picked up Voltaire’s pokeball and held it out
“All I want to do is find my squad then go home” Voltaire barked.
“Well without pokemon you’ll get killed as soon as you step into the road, trust me you need pokemon or you’ll be eaten alive by Rattata”
“Fine, where should I go” grumbled Voltaire as he picked up the pokeball and pressed the button on it by accident causing the Pikachu to burst out of the pokeball and jump up on Voltaire’s shoulder as he swore loudly and fumbled with the ball.
“Stupid bloody rat, get back in your cage!” Voltaire roared as he returned the crestfallen pokemon.
Quintus was shocked “You can’t treat your pokemon like that it has feelings you know, if you keep treating it like that it will run off and you’ll die out here so you’d better buck up your ideas or you won’t survive the night. Now take Pikachu out and apologise”
Voltaire felt foolish as he released the pokemon but his self consciousness turned to guilt as he saw the little pokemon crying and he picked it up and gently hugged soothingly, stiffening with every sob as it gave him a small electric shock.
“There, there, I’m sorry I shouted but I’m kind of stressed at the moment and don’t know much about you little guys so can you forgive me?” Voltaire asked tenderly as Quintus stared in shock and Pikachu nodded vigorously, licked Voltaire on the cheek and climbed on his broad shoulders. Voltaire saw Quintus’ shocked face and said
“What, I’m not a monster you know.”
“You could have fooled me” Quintus laughed as they continued on their journey.

Quintus and Voltaire travelled all around the pokemon world from the Island of Hoenn to the industry of Unova and the traditions of Kanto but when the job came up for the Vermillion Gym leader Voltaire simply couldn’t pass it up. While Quintus had focused on an even spread of his team consisting of all types available Voltaire had recruited only electric types. This had earned him the title the Lightning American because of his fast and hard hitting attacks which had allowed him to prevail over almost all the gyms he had come up against. He and Quintus parted company for the last time on the pier at Vermillion city on the day before Voltaire took over from the ancient electric type trainer from Hoenn who was always laughing at something and he felt incredibly sad.
“I guess this is good bye” Voltaire choked as he held back tears from the thought of his best friend’s departure and Quintus hugged him as he muttered
“I’ll send you a post card from the Orange archipelago when I get there” and with that their embrace ended as Quintus climbed onto the SS Citrus and Voltaire headed towards his new gym. Weeks passed and a lot happened for Lt. Voltaire Surge. He began to be referred to as Lt. Surge again as it made him seem more powerful and his original squad of troops finally found him and took up positions as trainers in his gym after they were given some spare pokemon Surge kept in his PC. Months passed as Surge became one of the most feared leaders in the entire world second only to the mysterious Giovanni. However one thing bothered Surge which was a rumour being circulated about a mysterious Russian who was out to kill Surge. At first Surge took it as a stupid rumour but then they got more detailed and Surge got more paranoid as he built electric force fields around himself to deflect bullets and finally one day the mysterious Russian found him and greeted him with the words
“So this is where you’ve been hiding”

Sergei Kazakov was Surge’s worst nightmare. He was an elite member of the Russian special forces and had they had been bitter rivals during the cold war when they had come agonisingly close to killing each other innumerable times. He had iron grey hair and a short beard with a long scar running down his right eye all the way to his lip. He wore a long grey trench coat with the soviet hammer and sickle on its lapels and mud spattered army boots. The Russian spoke first
“A nice set up you have here” he said “Though the puzzle with the bins was unnecessary and quite disgusting”
“Why are you here?” Surge spat, venom filling his every word as he glowered at Kazakov.
“To challenge you of course” he said smiling as he pulled of his army jacket reveal a belt with six highly polished pokeballs attached to it.
“And I want your best team, not those pansies you used to destroy that brat” he smiled and patiently waited as Surge stormed to the back of the gym to grab his best team and racked his brains about how he had been found on this amazing but remote Japanese island. He reached the edge of the battlefield fastening the belt of six battered and dusty pokeballs.
“Challenger picks first” he grunted and with that the Russian released his first pokemon

It was thin and bright green with razor sharp scythes on the end of its spindly arms and buzzing wings on it back which made it hover a few inches off the ground. Surge cursed, Scyther were tricky pokemon at the best of time and this on looked tough as nails and well trained by the harsh Russian. He smiled as he released a big blue and grey saucer shaped pokemon which had a giant eye in the middle and two smaller eyes on the side which in turn had magnets on them. It made a show of charging its magnets until they glowed bright yellow and indicating its power. The Scyther moved at a blistering speed and landed a ferocious brick break on the underside of the magnet zone pokemon sending it flying into the air however Magnezone stayed in the air by pointing its Magnets at the ground and using magnet rise. A great ball of lightning grew on its golden antenna and a vicious barrage of thunderbolts were fired at Scyther however the Mantis pokemon was a blur as it dodged the electric attack using agility. Magnezone came down from the ceiling but as it did so it began to split into copies of itself until it was impossible to tell which was the real one and as they surrounded him Scyther began to panic and started wildly slashing at the copies until too late he saw the bolt of lightning hit him full on in the face. The Scyther was dazed and unsteady on his feat but managed to fire off a vacuum wave at the Magnezone which was buffeted slightly by the attack as it glanced the underside of its casing but it got right next to the bug pokemon and its hole body shined a reflective silver as it fired a mirror shot at point blank shattering the fragile bugs bones.
“Scyther is unable to battle” the referee called and the Russian released his next pokemon. It was a short pokemon with hands that appeared to be large red gloves and it had some sort of skirt like appendage round its midriff. It had a head with flat points leading of it and pauldron like appendages on its shoulders. The Hitmonchan wasted no time in smashing Magnezone with a brutal mach punch and followed up with a blazing fire punch which startled the magnet zone pokemon. It then crouched and explosively smashed Magnezone into the air with a sky uppercut which caused him to smash against the ceiling and landed with a clang on the ground in front of surge unconscious.

“Magnezone is unable to battle” the referee called. Surge was stunned, the Hitmonchan had destroyed his pokemon in less than five seconds so was clearly not to be messed with and Surge released his surprise. It was a blue eel like creature with paddle shaped arm that had claws and suckers on the end and beige fin like feet. Its head had a larger sucker like mouth and a dorsal fin running off it and its entire body seemed to hover off the ground. Until recently he had used a Pachirisu but Quintus had sent him Shibirudon saying it fitted his personality better. Hitmonchan attacked Shibirudon with a vicious mach punch however its fist got stuck in the eel’s mouth. Shibirudon capitalised with its fangs turning black and delivering a fierce crunch to the caught fist and as the punching pokemon tried a feeble swing at Shibirudon its other fist was caught in a brutal double handed crush claw. The Electric fish’s body glowed bright yellow and then it used a discharge attack on the terrified and immobilised Fighting type, who’s eyes were darting around in search of an exit strategy when it had an idea. Shibirudon’s eyes widened and its mouth opened to let out a screech revealing Hitmonchan’s fist was ablaze and it smashed Shibirudon right between the eyes with a fire punch however the other fist still wasn’t free and before it was set on fire the electric fish flipped up in the air with an acrobatic attack and slammed the Hitmonchan headfirst onto the concrete gym floor.
“Hitmonchan is unable to battle” The referee called and the Russian released his next pokemon which was a yellow fox like creature with a long thick tail and a brown torso. Its head was yellow with a bushy moustache and a larger than usual red star that covered it entire forehead and it held a twisted metal spoon. Shibirudon charged at it with its jaws glowing back for a crunch attack but it slammed into the floor as Kadabra teleported to directly behind the eel like creature. Its spoon then glowed red and launched a vicious fire punch which scorched the gym floor. It then teleported again and its spoon glowed blue as it launched an Ice punch at Shibirudon however at this point the eel pokemon finally got its crunch around the Psi pokemon which caused it to deliver a blast of psychic energy in the form of a psychic attack and sending Shibirudon flying across the room unconscious.

“Shibirudon is unable to battle” Surged released his next pokemon It was a large orb shaped pokemon which was white on top and red on the bottom with an angry face. The electrode’s body glowed purple and yellow as it charged forward into the stunned Kadabra and delivered a fierce giga impact sending the psychic type flying. The ball pokemon then created copies of itself using double team however Kadabra just focused and suddenly one of the balls was sent flying by a vicious psychic attack and all the other copies disappeared. Electrode tried to counter with a thunderbolt but Kadabra teleported and used fire and ice punch combination. Electrode was looking decidedly battered and all of a sudden it started to glow deep red and as Kadabra appeared next to it its fists raised for another punching combination attack Electrode released all of its energy in a giant explosion attack sending both pokemon flying against the walls unconscious.

“Kadabra and Electrode are unable to battle” The referee called as the Russian released his next which was a giant creature with shaggy white fur and big bushy eyebrows. It also had large green hands and feet with a large bushy tail and pine cone like growths on its back. The Abomasnow glared at Surge as he released his next pokemon which was a blue dog like creature with a large yellow mane and tufts of yellow hair on its forepaws and hind quarters. Manectric attacked first as it’s mane glowed red and it fired a flamethrower which enveloped the frost tree causing a considerable amount of damage. Abomasnow then fired a ball of snow into the air causing it to begin to hail and the dazzling flakes slashed Manectric as they fell and the discharge pokemon fired a thunder wave at the ice type whose body crackled with electricity paralyzing it. Abomasnow then fired a powerful blizzard attack which forced Manectric towards the frost tree which hands glowed a dark green as it delivered a fierce wood hammer sending Manectric flying into the air where the electric type fired a ball of water into the air causing it to rain but it was hit by a brutal ice punch as it came down knocking it out.

“Manectric is unable to battle” the referee called and Surge quickly released a neckless yellow and black pokemon with two long back tails with red tips. It had black fingers and toes with plug socket like markings on its back and two antenna like protrusions on its head. The Electivire quickly charged a ball of orange energy between its fists and fired the focus blast at Abomasnow instantly knocking it out.
“Abomasnow is unable to battle” the referee called as the Russian released his next pokemon which was a rotund red creature with cannon like arms. It had fat pink lips with a singular flame on its head and pink spines running down its back. Its body was covered in flame like marking with flame like protrusions on its tail and shoulders. Magmortar stared down Electrizer as they both got ready to attack. Electrizer made the first move as it a bolt of lightning came from the rain storm above and struck the blast pokemon with a thunder attack sending it flying backward however when it landed the ground began to shake with an earthquake attack which knocked the Electivire of its feet. Both pokemon sprang back on to their feet and fired attacks, Electivire with focus blast and Magmortar with fire blast, when they collided they created a great explosion. Through the smoke screen made by this combination Electivire charged forward covered in purple and yellow energy as Magmortar charged a beam of orange energy between its cannons and the two attacks connected at the same time causing both pokemon to fly to the opposite sides of the gym. Both pokemon looked tired as Electivire charged twin balls of electricity on its tails and Magmortar had balls of fire in both its cannons. The flamethrower and thunderbolt were released at the same time and the two attacks connected causing a giant explosion and when the smoke cleared both pokemon were standing breathless when suddenly they both collapsed from the exertion.

“Magmortar and Electivire are unable to battle” called the referee as the trainers released their final pokemon. One was a large orange mouse with a long whip like tale that ended in a lightning bolt and big curled ears. The other was a large brown bear with a tan ring on its stomach, shaggy fur on its shoulders and a small puffy tail. Ursaring attacked with a brutal slash attack however Raichu used quick attack to jump on it paw and sprung off it charging head first into Ursaring’s stomach knocking it back. Electricity crackled over the bear’s body and then the ring on its stomach glowed yellow as guts activated. Raichu’s tail glowed silver as it smashed into Ursaring’s head with an iron tail but the Hibernator Pokémon’s body glowed yellow smashed into it with a super powered facade attack which sent the Mouse pokemon flying across the field. Raichu looked nearly dead as it covered its entire body with crackling electricity and it charged towards Ursaring with a volt tackle however the Hibernator pokemon simply caught it in one claw. The claw with the struggling mouse in then glowed with yellow and purple energy and Ursaring slammed Raichu into the ground with a giga impact and the mouse was instantly knocked out.

“Raichu is unable to battle, Sergei Kazakov wins” the referee called hollowly shocked Surge had lost as Ursaring roared with victory before it was returned to ball. Sergei walked forward across the field towards Surge with his hand outstretched
“I believe you owe me a badge” Sergei smiled. Surge dumbly put his hand in his pocket and took out a thunder badge and stared at it. Sergei coughed and Surge dropped the badge into the Russians hand however as he did this anger flooded his body. He reached to his belt, drew his knife and plunged it into the Russians chest. Sergei stared down at the knife sticking out of his chest and the blood oozing out onto his shirt and then collapsed onto the floor. Wordlessly Surge strolled out of the gym to heal his pokemon as the referee and trainers stared, dumbstruck by what had just happened until one of them had the initiative to release his Manectric and use flamethrower to burn the Russian corpse to ash then scatter it into the sea.