Ah, not a bad bit of writing, I should think. I certainly was not aware that the world's most perfect Pokémon had kept his own memoirs! Going through, here are my notes on what exists so far:
- I did notice that you had five quotes with which to proceed the prologue as well as another three before part two. While I appreciate what they all might have to say about the story as a whole, I found that having them lumped together at the start may be a bit much. Perhaps it would be best to narrow it down to just one that is relevant to that particular arc of the plot - if the rest absolutely cannot be abandoned, perhaps it would be best to attach them as a part of some "readers' guide" as supplementary material, to provide something to ponder while reading without weighing down the openings of each "part".
- The poetic style in the prologue turns us right around into something that really does work well in this particular way - the quick succession of varying adjectives and the conversation with Old Man Mountain conveys the dream state quite succinctly.
- I admit that I lapsed into the story rather than continue taking notes at the conclusion of the prologue. It was plenty sufficient to hold my interest, then, which is one of the chief things to which fiction should aspire. I do remember, at least, that a general image of Mewtwo's present self was provided while managing to refrain from providing too many details - and so the proper balance was found.
- You have managed to keep at least one reader as curious as the characters about the story-world through the viewpoint character's limited references through which to view it. This, I feel, was another strength.
- At least to start out with, the narrative was a bit long-winded, almost entirely being a description of the surroundings after present!Mewtwo's waxing rhetoric. This is a bit of a necessity to capture a mind new to the experience of existence and intriguing as I have noted, though it did go on relatively uninterrupted for several pages without any other significant action - long enough, at least, for the reader to notice.
- Mewtwo's observations on human thought successfully made it seem completely alien, and his growing frustrations made the approach of his impending outburst seem to be a natural progression.
- You captured Giovanni quite well. Setting aside the foregone conclusion that we all know, he seems akin to an eloquent, ambitious businessman - as he should be.
Now, keep in mind, I find that your writings are leaps and bounds beyond my own capabilities - most of my negative observations are at least partially out of personal taste, and everything that I may have failed to put into my notes was done more than well enough that I was too caught in the narrative to remind myself to stop and comment. You are indeed a talented wordsmith, and I look forward to reading more in the future.