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    Posh yet devilish Caitlin's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Storm Island


    A fanfic written by Kate Wintersbite and Jake the Menodix


    Welcome to my topic dedicated to the reboot of my old fanfiction with the same title. As before, it is a cooperative work between me and a friend. The aim is similar to before, to detail the adventures of Andrea Dennison, a researcher and trainer, as she travels through the tropical isle of Storm Island.

    There are differences, however. I've worked on the weakest parts of our previous attempts at writing, those being wonky grammar, depthless characters, soulless dialogue and lack of detail, as well as spacing and technical issues. I hope that with our latest attempts, we've forged together a readable story that, while long, does not turn readers away within the first paragraph.

    Most importantly, I'm asking for feedback, even if it is quick and brief. One of the major issues I've had with my previous stories and, broadly, with my ability to write, is that I don't know when I'm doing a bad job, as nobody says anything. Writing this is mostly for personal enjoyment, but it's for you guys too. If you see something that bothers you, you just flat out aren't enjoying the story, or you feel that something has been done exceptionally well, please let us know. Your feedback is appreciated and will be worked with.

    With that said, let's get this show on the road.

    Table of Contents
    1. Chapter 1 - Just a City Girl
    2. Chapter 2 - Hitting the Road
    3. Chapter 3 - A New Life
    Last edited by Caitlin; 30th May 2013 at 12:06 AM.

    C'mon, Jack... You've had a death wish ever since Terri died. The way things have been going for you in the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind... This could be the easy way out, huh? You still got a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero? Here's what you do. You get back down there and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts. ~ George Mason

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    Posh yet devilish Caitlin's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    Storm Island
    Chapter 1: Just a City Girl


    "My child..." a deep, echoing voice called out.

    In a bright field of dozens of different varieties of flowers, a young woman was laying down on her back, sleeping peacefully.

    "Wake up, my child..." the voice said again.

    The young woman's bright blue eyes slowly opened to a strange view. A long streak of stars stretched across the sky above her, the rest of the pitch black sky dotted with bright stars and celestial clouds. A crisp, refreshing breeze blew her golden brown hair lightly as she sat up and looked around. A rainbow-like assortment of flowers surrounded her, dousing the area in an alluring, spring-like aroma. She appeared to be on top of a mountain's peak, a place she didn't recognize at all. At the far end of the field of flowers was a pool of pristine, clear water that seemed to glimmer dimly under the light of the stars.

    As if against her own will, the young woman stood up and walked towards the spring. The mystical sight seemed to pull at her subconscious as she slowly strolled toward it. Confused, she asked, "Where am I?" There was no response. As she reached the outer bank of the spring, a faint and ghostly shape that she could not identify rose from the center of the spring.

    "My child, what is your name?" the figure said in its echoed voice.

    "Huh?" she asked, even more confused. Upon receiving no response again, she answered. "Andrea."

    "Andrea... Yes..."

    Andrea tilted her head to the side, still perplexed at what was happening and where she was.

    "You are the child I am looking for."

    "What's going on? Where am I?" she asked.

    "You will know soon enough." the figure said before descending back into the spring and fading from view.

    Andrea turned around and looked at the field of flowers, then up at the sky. Thoughts raced through her mind as she tried to understand what the figure was, what it might have meant and why it was looking for her. She walked back out into the field as her vision slowly started to fade to black.

    - - - - -


    The sun was shining brightly into the small room through the open window. A light but refreshing breeze flowed through the window, carrying with it the scent of the pristine morning ocean. In a bed in the corner of the room, frizzy golden brown hair poked out from under a pink and red blanket.

    The radio next to the bed rolled over to 9:00 AM and turned on. "Gooooood morning, Storm! Island! This is your host on STAR, Eliza!"

    A low and exhausted grumble came from under the covers of the bed. A hand emerged from under the blanket and aimlessly struggled to find the snooze button on the radio, but failed.

    The radio continued loudly. "...tell us what's in store for today, George!"

    "Another brutal day, Eliza. Temperatures in the triple digits are a given, especially later in the day with a projected high temperature of 109 degrees!"

    Another grumble came from under the blanket. The blanket exploded off as the person under it pushed it away rapidly, revealing Andrea. She sat up and pressed the snooze button on the radio, then stretched and yawned. "Not another scorcher..." she mumbled to herself with disappointment. This had been the eighth straight day of triple digit temperatures across the southern shores of Storm Island. Having lived in Azure Ridge her entire life, Andrea was accustomed to the heat waves that gripped the region in the early summer, but she certainly didn't like them. She pushed herself out of bed and wandered over to the open window.

    There wasn't a single cloud in sight all the way to the horizon. The sky was a deep tropical blue and the ocean was an even deeper, richer blue. The wind had picked up, blowing through the palm trees quite fiercely. As she stared out into the ocean, a small red, white and blue feathered bird dive bombed onto the window sill and hopped around, pecking at the wood in a feverish attempt to find a small seed to eat.

    Andrea swatted the bird away. "Get, you... flying rat!" she shouted. As the bird flew away, she sighed, then turned around and walked over to the dresser next to her bed. As she opened it, she saw herself in the mirror. Her white and sky blue striped pajamas were a crinkled mess and her hair was frizzy and unruly. She dug around in the drawers for something she hoped would be appropriate for the hot weather. She had remembered that most of her clothes were still piled up in the corner, waiting to be thrown into the laundry, so she picked out what she had left over; a pair of shin length, olive green khaki pants along with a red and white french-striped tank top. She carried them over to a small room off to the side and disappeared behind the door.

    Nearly half an hour had passed before she reemerged from the small room in her fresh change of clothes. Her damp hair dripped along the floor as she attempted to dry it with a soft brown towel. As she did so, she tried to make sense of the dream she had overnight. Not finding any rational explanations, she chalked it up to just another one of her weird dreams. Grabbing her purse, she bunched up the towel and tossed it onto the growing pile of clothes in the corner of her room and walked over to the stairs.

    It was busy downstairs. The scent of freshly cut sand pears was thick in the air, as was the alluring aroma of sizzling bacon. An orange canine creature with black stripes and tufts of puffy white fur sat at the foot of the oven, panting and wagging its bushy white tail happily. It barked with joy as a woman walked over with a basket full of berries and placed them on the table next to the stove.

    "Well, you're certainly full of energy this morning, Spud!" she said, kneeling down and rubbing his cheeks. "Who's a good boy?"

    The creature barked again.

    "Marv, come get your mutt! He's in the way again!" she called out as she flipped the bacon in the frying pan.

    A tall, brown haired man walked in from the other room. He was wearing a Storm Island Police Force uniform which was covered in numerous awards and badges. "Now, now, Meredith. You know how Spud feels about being called a mutt." he said, taking a seat at the table. The Growlithe jumped up and began to lick his face with appreciation, barely fitting on his master's lap. "Did you catch the news this morning?" he asked. "Has there been any word about the Slate Valley cave in?"

    Meredith pulled two strips of bacon from the frying pan and placed them onto a plate, adding in a sliced up sand pear as well. As she served the meal to her husband, she said, "There's been a few words, but they've amounted to nothing."

    "It's such a damn shame," he said. "They worked so hard to get the subway system up and running, and now the grand opening is being delayed again!" he said as he raised a piece of the bacon to his mouth. Before he could react, his Growlithe snatched the bacon quickly and scurried out of the room, leaving him wide eyed at what just happened.

    As the Growlithe ran out of the room, he nearly knocked over Andrea. "Morning," she said. "How are you two?"

    Marvin looked up from his plate to see his daughter standing there. "I'm fine, getting ready for work. How are you this morning?" Andrea sighed upon her father mentioning his job, having been recently fired from her own. "Oooh... I guess you're still getting over being replaced, huh, sport?"

    "It's just not fair..." she replied sadly. She remembered the day it happened clear as day. She had worked at the Crimson Crawdaunt as an assistant manager until the arrival of a new employee who seemed to do her job twice as efficiently. The exchange of unfair insults between her and her former boss is what she felt the worst about. "I hope I never see that spiteful bitch again," she said, looking at her parents. "Pardon my language."

    "I really don't understand what Chaz sees in her!" Meredith said, beginning to speculate. "Unless..."

    Marvin smirked wryly. "Let's not go down that route, dear. I'm sure there's nothing sinister going on, he just had a lapse of judgement... like usual."

    Andrea could tell her parents were just trying to cheer her up, but it wasn't working. "Thanks guys, but... I just need some time to think." she said as she walked over to a rack in the corner of the room. She grabbed a black bandana and tied her hair into a pony tail with it. "I think another walk out in the park should help with that."

    "Alright. Have fun, and be careful! It's going to be extra hot today."

    "I know. I'll be back in about an hour, I think." Andrea said as she opened the door and felt a blast of heat surge in from outside. She stepped outside into the relentlessly oppressive rays of the summer sun and looked around. Despite it being rather early in the morning and very warm, the atmosphere around her was very alive. Children were playing on the beach in front her house, engaging in mock trainer battles and building impressive sand castles. Dozens of boats dotted the deep blue sea, sailing along under the sapphire sky. Not wanting to waste too much time watching the scenery around her, she walked down the street towards the park.

    As she walked down the street, she felt a rumble from the depths of her purse. She frantically dug around inside, grabbing her cell phone and answered it. "Hello?"

    A young man's voice was on the other line. "Hey Andrea, it's Larson."

    "Hi! Are you still in town?" she asked.

    Larson laughed. "I told you, I'm going to be here for about a month! I was wondering if you wanted to do anything today."

    Andrea paused and thought. She wanted to walk through the park alone, but figured that bringing her best friend along would cheer her up, especially since she never gets to see him anymore. "I was going to go down to the park and have a walk around, clear my mind about some things. But I'd rather you come along, too, if you don't mind."

    "Awesome! It'll be good to spend some time together after so long. Wanna meet at my house?" he asked.

    "Well... I'm almost there, but... I'll be right over, I guess. See you soon." she said as she closed her phone and placed it back in her purse. She grumbled and shook her head as if annoyed, then turned around and walked away from the park towards Larson's house.

    - - - - -


    A young man and an older man were sitting under the shade of a large palm tree that stood like a towering sentry over a large brick house. They were watching over a small, stocky, pink star-shaped creature that was sitting idly in the sunlight, looking dazed and confused. Standing above the small creature was a large purple porcine Pokémon with black patterns running along its arms, legs and belly. It glared down at the pink creature with disapproval, bouncing around trying to grab its attention.

    "I think your Clefairy is a little... slow, son." the older man said. "Look at her, she's clueless. You sure you trained her properly?"

    "I'm sure of that," he said, watching the Clefairy aimlessly wander around. "She's just not much of a fighter, that's all."

    The older man sighed. "Let me guess. You make her do all of the menial tasks that your other Pokémon are too good for."

    "Menial tasks?" Larson asked. "She enjoys cutting down small trees and lighting the way for me! Right, Star?"

    Star looked at her master with a blank, serene grin on her face and nodded.

    His father sighed, then laughed. "Typical. If I had a silver coin for every trainer who did that... well, I could probably retire."

    "If everyone's doing it, I must be doing something right," he said as he grabbed a shiny red and white ball from his pocket. He held it in front of him as Star deformed into a blob of red, luminous energy and entered the ball.

    "Just because everyone does something doesn't mean it's the correct way to do things," his father said as he grabbed a Pokéball and recalled his Grumpig. "But yes, you are doing something right. Five badges from Kanto and four from Johto is quite impressive at your age, son."

    "I've always been impressive since the day I was born!" he said with a smile on his face as he ran his hand through his hair.

    Larson's father walked out into the street and put his policeman hat on. "Don't let it get to your head. I'll see you later." he said as he walked off into the bustling city.

    Larson looked at his watch impatiently as he ran his hand through his short brown hair. He paced back and forth waiting for Andrea, who never took this long to arrive at his house. Just as his impatience got the better of him, she appeared on the horizon. "Finally... women, huh. Always late." he joked to himself. He waved towards her, but didn't receive a wave back. "Late as always, I see," he said as she approached him.

    "And you're as impatient as always."

    Larson spread his arms and shook his head. "Guilty as charged," he laughed. "Let's go."

    - - - - -


    As the two walked through the bustling city streets, they talked about their experiences since they had last seen each other over two years ago. Larson recalled his journey through Kanto, earning five badges before moving onto Johto.

    "Only five?" Andrea asked. "I shouldn't say anything though, it's a lot better than I'd ever do."

    "You never know..." Larson said, reaching around into his backpack and pulling out an ornately carved oaken box. "I know you've never been big on becoming a Pokémon trainer, but I have a feeling you'd be good at it. You're smart, unlike most people. Besides, it'd offer some stability for you."

    "Travelling the world like a bum while throwing dangerous creatures into the mix doesn't sound stable to me, Lars," she replied, watching as he opened the box. An assortment of glimmering, colourful badges lined the inside of the box, but many were missing.

    As the two walked along discussing Larson's collection of badges, the two passed by Dr. Spruce's Pokémon Research Institute, a large brick building shrouded under the welcoming shade of nearly four dozen trees. A tan blur moved quickly through the trees out towards the street, flying out of the last tree. The tan blur was revealed to be a long ferret like creature, covered in creamy white fur and brown stripes. The creature crashed right into Andrea, knocking her back into Larson. It walked over to her and sniffed her, then bit onto her loosely tied bandana and ran off with it.

    "My bandana!" she shouted as she tried to grab onto the Furret's tail.

    Larson quickly hopped to his feet and chased after the Furret. He caught up with it down the road, catching it with a diving tackle. The two fought viciously over the bandana before he was able to rip it from the Furret's mouth.

    Meanwhile, the door to Dr. Spruce's Pokémon Research Institute opened up and several scientists poured out into the street to look around. The lead scientist walked over to the commotion, placing his hand to his large and bushy black beard. "So that's where that Furret has gone!" From within his white lab coat, he retrieved a red and white Pokéball and recalled the Furret, still wrestling with Larson.

    Andrea looked up to see the big bearded man silhouetted against the sunlight. He offer his hand to her to help her up.

    "Just my luck that you two were here! That Furret is... well, let's just say it would be a terrible thing for him to escape back into the wild." he said, pulling Andrea to her feet.

    "You're welcome," Larson replied. "Unfortunately the luck was all yours, poor Andrea here went flying." he laughed.

    "I must apologize, he is quite the handful sometimes," He looked around to see his scientists had all disappeared back into the research lab. "And what's your name?" he said, looking at Larson.

    "Larson Reiserben, sir!" he said with excitement.

    "Ah, Reiserben? You must be Jack's son! I'm Dr. Spruce, as you may know. It's a pleasure to meet you!" he said, firmly grasping his hand and yanking his arm up and down, nearly tearing Larson's arm off. "Come inside, I'd like your help, if you're not busy."

    Andrea and Larson looked at each other in confusion. Andrea mumbled and looked away while Larson shrugged.

    "C'mon, Andrea. A walk in the park can wait a few minutes." he said. "This is Dr. Spruce! He doesn't normally ask for help!"

    She continued to grumble. "Fine."

    The two followed Dr. Spruce into the research institute. The air inside was crisp and cool, a welcome change from the heat wave outside. The monotonous hum of the electricity that supplied power to all of the high tech machines lining the walls was oddly relaxing. Throughout the main room were pairs of scientists working feverishly to complete their research concerning a variety of topics.

    Andrea melted upon seeing the inside of the laboratory. Ever since she was a child she dreamed of working as a scientist and being on the frontier of discovery, but she never applied herself properly. She had hoped that this might be her chance to relive that dream.

    Dr. Spruce led the two to his office. He sat down behind his desk which was lavishly covered in small golden and silver trophies, awards and ribbons. The walls were lined with shelves filled with even more trophies and awards. He pulled the Pokéball out of his lab coat and slapped it down onto the table. "I can see it in your eyes. Impressive place, ya think?"

    Both Larson and Andrea nodded in agreement as they marvelled at the awards and technology strewn throughout the room.

    He grabbed the Pokéball and placed it onto a machine behind his desk. "Now, which one of you would like to do me a favor?" he asked as he pressed a button on the machine. An eerie green glow began to project from the machine and envelope the Pokéball.

    "What is it?" Larson asked.

    "I need a delivery made to Blueleaf Village. One of my colleagues is more prepared than I am for a new field of research that I am getting involved in. All of my scientists are busy working on other research projects or upgrading our equipment."

    "A delivery? That doesn't sound very exciting..." Andrea said with a noticeable tone of disappoint in her voice.

    "It is a bit of a boring task, I suppose," Dr. Spruce said, lowering his head. He snapped his head back up with enthusiasm and continued, "But, that is the spice of life! New things, whether boring or marvelous, should be welcomed. They keep us busy and they keep us out of trouble."

    "I agree," Larson said, nudging Andrea with his shoulder. "Beats walking around in the park for the fifth time this week, doesn't it? What do you need delivered?"

    Dr. Spruce picked up the Pokéball and presented it. "This Furret. My colleague and I theorize that he may hav--"

    Andrea threw her hands up in the air in protest. "Not me. If you want to, Larson, be my guest." she said, turning around to leave.

    Dr. Spruce was curious at her abrupt and almost vicious unwillingness. "Any specific reason?"

    Larson leaned forward and talked quietly. "It's a long story. She... isn't too experienced with Pokémon."

    He raised his pointer finger excitedly. "This is perfect, actually! Andrea, please, hear me out."

    Andrea stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath, then turned around.

    "I'm not sure of the details behind your connection with Pokémon, but I think I may have been in a similar situation to you when I was young. My father was never around in my youth... I blamed the Pokémon for this, as he had left my mother and I to become a world famous Pokémon trainer. I developed an intense hatred towards them due to the carelessness of my father. But one day, my mother gifted me with a young Phanpy. I took responsibility for it. I kept it happy, and ever since that day, my life has never been the same."

    "That's a nice story, but what does--"

    Dr. Spruce leaned forward in his chair, studying Andrea closely. "Human emotions are not my expertise, but I can see it in your face. Your eyes. You're... how do I put this... Frustrated and resentful of what life has given you."

    "Oh hoho, you got that right..." she sarcastically said.

    "That is why I am urging at least one of you to take up this task. Blueleaf Village is absolutely exquisite this time of the year. Your nerves will loosen up and your life will look brighter when you arrive."

    Andrea looked at Larson and tilted her head inquisitively.

    "If you won't do it, I will, and I'm dragging you along," Larson said. "He's right. Some relaxing time out in the countryside is just what you need."

    "Fine," she said. Dr. Spruce tossed the Pokéball between the two. Andrea reacted quickly by grabbing it in mid air, not trusting Larson's slow reflexes. She took a close look at the Pokéball, seeing her reflection in the deep, shiny red metallic top. A slight smirk appeared on her face, visible in the faint reflection.

    "It looks like you're feeling better already," Dr. Spruce said before quickly turning around. He opened a cabinet and pulled a large folded up map out, sprawling it out on his desk. He ran his finger along the map between the south eastern shoreline and a point on the map labeled 'Blueleaf Village'. "Route 301 lies between Azure Ridge and Blueleaf Village."

    "We're not stupid, ya know," Larson interjected.

    "Very well." he said. "So, who is escorting this Furret along to Blueleaf Village?" Larson quickly pointed to Andrea. Before she could object, Dr. Spruce continued, "The wilderness around us is filled with danger, Andrea. The tall grass is the most perilous of places for a person to travel, so do your best to avoid it. If you must defend yourself, your Pokémon are your first line of defense."

    "I always thought that was cruel of trainers..." Andrea said.

    "It's not cruel, it's good sport! Pokémon are highly competitive creatures, they love proving themselves in battle!" he said. He knelt down and grabbed a cardboard box from the floor and placed it atop his desk. "However, just as you or I would suffer injuries if we started trading punches, so do Pokémon," He pulled a small purple squirt bottle filled with a thick and syrupy silver liquid out of the box and handed it to Andrea. "This will help if that becomes an issue."

    Andrea grabbed the bottle with her other hand and studied it.

    He picked the box back up and dropped it to the floor with a loud crash, then kicked it back under his desk. "That covers the very basics. If you have any questions, I'm sure Larson here would be more than happy to explain things further."

    "Well that sounds simple enough," Andrea said, placing the spray bottle into her purse. "How far away is this place?"

    "It's about a day's walk, if I remember." Larson said.

    Andrea's optimism dimmed to horror as she heard Larson's estimate.

    "A day's walk sounds correct to me," Dr. Spruce answered. "If you have a bicycle, I would suggest using it. Much better exercise!"

    "I don't... anymore." She glared at Larson. "I have someone's Charlizard to thank for that."

    "Charizard," Larson corrected her.

    "Whatever!"

    Dr. Spruce turned around and dug through a basket full of folders and loose papers. After a moment, he found what he was looking for; two photos taken from the laboratory's security systems. One displayed a young woman with shoulder length blonde hair, holding several Pokéballs that were taken from a smashed display case. The other showed the same young woman standing behind an older man with dark brown hair, grinning widely as he reached for more Pokéballs. A large and jagged scar drifted along his face, starting under his receding hairline, jumping across his nose and ending above his left cheek. Dr. Spruce put the photos down onto his desk. "Be on the look out for these shady folks."

    Larson and Andrea studied the photos. "My dad told me about these guys..." he said.

    "I assume these two have skipped town already and headed west," he said, turning to Larson and giving him a look of concern. "Please, Larson. Keep Andrea and her Furret safe if you run into them. Do not try to fight them unless it is your last resort."

    Larson nodded. "Got it."

    "That is all. Good luck." Dr. Spruce said, taking a seat behind his desk. "Make sure you notify your parents, or whoever you're living with, of where you'll be going, you probably won't be back in the city until tomorrow night if things go according to plan."

    - - - - -


    Meredith was outside of the house, knelt down in the garden. She was running her fingers through each of the bushes, checking the growth of the various berries and taking notes. She moved on to a pine tree, digging her hands into the thick branches and pulled out a fist-sized orange-red fruit in the shape of a water drop. "The firekiwis are much larger this year..." she mumbled to herself, placing the fruit into a basket beside her. She looked around to see Andrea and Larson walking towards her.

    Andrea waved as she walked up.

    "You're back early," she said.

    "Yeah... I decided against a walk in the park." Andrea said, reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a small Pokéball, gleaming in the sunlight.

    Meredith noticed the sun reflect off of the red top in the corner of her eye. She turned to study the Pokéball and looked up at her daughter with shock and surprise. "Where did you get that?"

    "Dr. Spruce, ma'am." Larson said.

    Andrea nodded. "Larson and I have been asked to deliver this to Blueleaf Village."

    Meredith thought. She knew her daughter wasn't the adventurous type and figured it would be a bad idea, especially with the wild and reckless Larson around. "Blueleaf Village, huh... That's an awful long way away..."

    "It's not that far, only a day's walk." Larson said.

    "Exactly!" Meredith put her hands to her hips. "Are you sure you're up to it?"

    "I think I am... Has dad gone off to work yet? He'd probably want to know, too." Andrea asked.

    "He has. I'll let him know where you've gone." she said, pulling Andrea closer. "Be careful out there and try to be home tonight if you can."

    "I'll be careful!" Andrea replied. "But I probably won't be home tonight..."

    The two let go of each other and Meredith looked at Larson with a sharp and intimidating glare. "And you keep your hands off of my daughter! I don't want to be a grandmo-"

    "Mom!" Andrea yelled.

    Larson laughed with an uproar. "C'mon, Andrea. Let's go before your mom changes her mind!"

    "I'll see you tomorrow." Andrea said, bowing and turning to follow Larson who had already left in a hurry.

    Meredith watched the two disappear down the street and into the city. A sense of dread filled her; she didn't believe her daughter, who often complained about the twenty minute walk to and from the restaurant she worked at, would ever be able to reach Blueleaf Village. As she was about to chase after them, she stopped herself and reasoned that Larson would be there to keep her safe. "I can only hope that boy learned a thing or two while he was gone... She's gonna need it."

    C'mon, Jack... You've had a death wish ever since Terri died. The way things have been going for you in the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind... This could be the easy way out, huh? You still got a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero? Here's what you do. You get back down there and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts. ~ George Mason

  3. #3
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    Not a very eventful first chapter; it mostly mirrored the start of an adventure in the games. In the few paragraphs at the start, we are told that Andrea tried to make sense of her dream, but then couldn't find any explanation. Her reasoning would have been a great insight to her character, how she thinks, and how she interprets events relating to her own life.

    Aside from that, I quite enjoyed Dr. Spruce. I found him to be a very entertaining character, and a breath of fresh air. The chapter could have been shorter. Unless the 'walk in the park' which never happened will be important to the story in the future, through actual plot or just symbolism, I feel any reference to it could have been easily cut out. The part about the mysterious two criminals seemed a little forced, but overall, the chapter was a good one; a great start for story.

    Keep it up.

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    Posh yet devilish Caitlin's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyuuketsuki View Post
    Not a very eventful first chapter; it mostly mirrored the start of an adventure in the games. In the few paragraphs at the start, we are told that Andrea tried to make sense of her dream, but then couldn't find any explanation. Her reasoning would have been a great insight to her character, how she thinks, and how she interprets events relating to her own life.
    I'll be touching on that later. I struggled with the first chapter as I had so much to establish but I didn't want to make the thing too long.

    Aside from that, I quite enjoyed Dr. Spruce. I found him to be a very entertaining character, and a breath of fresh air. The chapter could have been shorter. Unless the 'walk in the park' which never happened will be important to the story in the future, through actual plot or just symbolism, I feel any reference to it could have been easily cut out. The part about the mysterious two criminals seemed a little forced, but overall, the chapter was a good one; a great start for story.
    I do have plans to make that walk in the park that never happened somewhat important in the future, but it's a long way off. For now, I used it to springboard Larson and Andrea's meeting, and to show how she easily gets annoyed at his neediness.

    Thanks for the review. It's a refreshing sight to see some actual feedback for once! :D
    harryheart likes this.

    C'mon, Jack... You've had a death wish ever since Terri died. The way things have been going for you in the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind... This could be the easy way out, huh? You still got a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero? Here's what you do. You get back down there and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts. ~ George Mason

  5. #5
    Posh yet devilish Caitlin's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    hooray post 1000

    Storm Island
    Chapter 2: Hitting the Road


    "You know, you've got it pretty good, Andrea," Larson said. "I remember when I went up to Blueleaf Village all by myself. It's a boring walk all alone."

    Andrea was too busy studying the Pokéball in her hands to listen to Larson. She wondered how to open it, thinking that clicking the button in the center would do it. The Pokéball grew in size, scaring her. "Uh... how do you open these things?"

    "Grip 'em like this," he said, grabbing one of his own Pokémon to demonstrate. His four fingers were wrapped evenly along the top with his thumb grasping from below. He stopped in his tracks and held it out in front of him. "Then, just say something like... 'Star, how about a little walk?'"

    The Pokéball split open, revealing the complex circuits inside. A dim, colourless glow of light formed in the center, brightening and shooting forward onto the ground in front of them. After the blinding flash of light subsided, the pink, star-shaped Clefairy appeared and looked up at her master with a wide and clueless smile on her face.

    "That thing is creepy..." Andrea said. "Those huge eyes and that ridiculous smile! It's so... weird looking!" She held onto her Pokéball in the same way that Larson did. "Uhh... Fur... Furret? Come on out?"

    The Pokéball in her hand opened, repeating a similar light show. The creamy furred, brown-striped Furret appeared, looking around at his surroundings with curiosity. He saw Andrea and Larson standing in front of him and approached quickly. Flinching nervously, Andrea's fear subsided as he brushed up against her leg and let out a purring noise.

    As she looked down at him, Larson said, "Looks like he likes you! Go on, show him he's got a good girl looking after him!"

    Andrea timidly knelt down, running her hand through his silky smooth fur. It was the softest feeling she had ever felt, even softer than the Visalian silk dress she wore when she had graduated from school. Furret's purring increased as she continued to pat it.

    "After all these years, I knew you'd finally come around," Larson smirked.

    "What do you mean?" she asked. "I just like this guy... I wouldn't be caught near anything else, especially that... thing." she said, looking at Star. Star responded by looking back with her large, soulless and almost non-sentient eyes. "I don't see how you can stand to be near it."

    "She's adorable!" he said. "But if she bothers you that much..." he said, holding his Pokéball out again. "Star, return. You can come out later."

    Star looked up at her master and began to glow red. She deformed into a red blob of energy and was sucked back into the Pokéball, which made a beeping noise to indicate that she was safely back inside.

    "Whatever," he started. "Let's keep moving or we won't reach Blueleaf Village before nightfall."

    Andrea turned to look at the skyline of Azure Ridge. She held her hand up to block the sun, counting the various skyscrapers, remembering what each one was. She was anxious about visiting Blueleaf Village, having never been to it before. "I think this is the first time I'll have ever left the city..." she said. After a long pause, she turned back to Larson and said, "Feels good."

    "Atta girl!" he said, approaching the gateway that led out into the untamed northern wilds of Route 301.

    As the two passed through it, a red haired scientist who was leaning on a fence approached them. "Greetings! Are you two Larson and Andrea?" she asked. She looked at the Furret who was following closely behind Andrea. "I assume so."

    Larson greeted her warmly. "Yes. And you are?"

    "Dr. Beverly Pressman. I work with Dr. Spruce over at his research lab." she said, reaching into her pocket. "Dr. Spruce was scatterbrained as usual and forgot to give you two something, so he sent me out to find you."

    "He did seem a little flustered..." Andrea said.

    Dr. Pressman retrieved a small device from her pocket. The device was about 4.5 inches by 2.5 inches long with a strap wrapped around the bottom of it. "Dr. Spruce usually gives this to all of his employees. It's a mobile research tool with an interactive touch screen, give it a try!"

    Andrea grabbed the device from Dr. Pressman and studied it. A tap of the screen caused it to light up to a blue and yellow tropical theme. A wide array of buttons appeared on the screen, ranging from trainer tips, coordinator tips and breeding tips to an encyclopedia about the ins and outs of berries and fruits. She picked random buttons until it spoke.

    "Aldrysse Township, Storm Island!" the device said in a feminine digital voice. "Aldrysse Township is home to the affluent Vannedy family, descendants of the Goldwheat Clan. There are no gyms or contest halls within the town, but there are many other tourist attractions, including the Vannedy family mansion which is open to the public on weekdays, the Cold Harbor Watershed, the Go--"

    "Employees?" Larson asked. "Did one of us get hired without knowing it?"

    Dr. Pressman laughed. "I doubt it. He mentioned that he needed it to be delivered to Professor Ansen along with that Furret. He also mentioned something about being ahead of her... whatever that means."

    Andrea continued to study the device. "What else can this thing do?"

    Dr. Pressman held up her arm and rolled her sleeve up, revealing another device attached to her wrist. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a Pokéball, holding it in front of the device.

    "Wesley! Species: Zubat. Trainer: Beverly Pressman, ID 87261. Gender: Male. Personality: Troublemaker. Favourite fo--"

    "These are called R-Kits. They're essential to us scientists, and soon, they'll be available for Pokémon trainers and coordinators across the world. It'll really revolutionize how trainers raise their Pokémon, what strategies they should employ... all that kind of stuff." she said, placing the Pokéball back into her pocket. "I'm sure Professor Ansen will show you more about them, if you ask. I don't want to delay you all day, as there are literally that many features in an R-Kit."

    Andrea wrapped the strap around her left wrist. "Wow, it's almost like science fiction."

    "It is science fiction!" Larson said excitedly, gawking at the R-Kit.

    Dr. Pressman bowed before the two. "I should get back to the lab. There's science to be done! ...and Dr. Spruce will have my head if my projects start to fall behind." she giggled. "Good luck out there."

    The two decided to continue on with their task, passing over the city limits border. In the immediate area, tall, wavy grass blew with the warm winds. The path in front of them snaked through the foothills, visibly ending on the horizon as it climbed up the hill to the borders of Blueleaf Village far in the distance. The houses looked so far away to Andrea, like little shining dots. Distance combined with the oppressively warm weather already made her want to give up.

    Larson led her over to the tall and ragged grass which reached to her elbows. "Now comes the fun part," he said, looking up and down the wall of grass in front of him. He was unable to find a way around the grass and walked right in.

    "Oh noooo..." Andrea groaned. "There's going to be a bunch of creepy bugs in there, right?" she said, pushing some of the grass aside and following Larson in. Her Furret on the other hand was eager to dive into the grass, disappearing from view and appearing in front of Larson with impressive quickness.

    "There might be," Larson said. "Then again it might be too hot for them. Think of it this way, too; at least you're wearing pants. Remember last time we left the town and I was wearing shorts? My legs looked like a horror show."

    "Yeah..." she said, pushing through the thick grass.

    "My dad would kill me if I ever let the grass grow this tall back at home," Larson said, looking back to make sure Andrea was close behind him. "Good thing I don't live with him anymore!"

    Andrea was too absorbed in scanning the surrounding area for movement to respond to his joke. Before she realised it, they had both emerged from the grass, much to her relief. As she breathed a sigh of relief, Larson looked at her.

    "C'mon, that wasn't bad," he said. "I'm here to protect you, anyways."

    Furret bounced out of the overgrowth covered in pollen and bits of grass. He shook his fur in an attempt to clean himself off, then walked over and rubbed against Andrea's leg.

    "I think that's what he's here for." she said, scratching Furret behind the ear.

    The three made their way along the road to Blueleaf Village. Larson offered some tips to Andrea on how to train Pokémon properly, but Andrea shrugged his advice off with disinterest. His tales of victory over opponents in the Johto and Kanto regions were slightly more interesting to her, but again meant very little as she had no similar experiences.

    "I know what'll interest you," he started. "Silph Co... Where my mom worked..."

    Andrea looked at him silently, listening intently.

    Larson sighed. "You'd love it. You've always been a bookworm, you've always been able to figure stuff out by looking at it. A natural born engineer. The things I saw there... you'd fit in perfectly. In fact--"

    The conversation was interrupted by a thick, sticky web shooting out of the trees from above. The web latched onto Andrea's purse and pulled it away forcefully, knocking her over. As the purse flew into the bushes under the trees, a large, green spider with fat, hairy striped legs began to quickly descend from the tree, rappelling off of a thick, sticky strand of web. The markings on its back resembled a sleeping face, but quickly morphed into an expression of anger.

    As Larson pulled Andrea to safety, Furret immediately leapt to action. He stood below the spider, his fur bristling with anticipation as he waited for it to land. The spider unhooked itself from its web, crashing onto the ground in front of Furret and displacing a large cloud of sun-parched dirt into the air. It raised its back up towards Furret, balancing on its four front legs. The expression on its back changed from anger to blind fury; the 'eyes' narrowed to slanted slits and the 'mouth' began to resemble a wickedly fanged maw.

    Furret stood bravely between the spider and his new companions, lowering down on all fours and growling at the beast. The two circled each other slowly, watching each other, waiting for the opposition to make a mistake, ready to strike.

    Larson reached into his pocket and pulled out a Pokéball. "Perfect!" he said with a smirk on his face. "Andrea, now's your chance. Give Furret the inspiration he needs to defeat that Spinarak!"

    Andrea was horrified and could barely stand. The sight of the spider, which she thought reached up to her hips, sent chills down her spine. "Uhh... Y-you're out of your mind!" she said, backing away slowly.

    Furret pounced at the spider, leaping onto its back. The spider quickly reacted by running around in an attempt to shake him loose but failed.

    "That's right, Furret!" Larson called out.

    Andrea tried to compose herself and think logically. Larson's smooth and confident reaction paired with Dr. Spruce's earlier advice strengthened her nerves a bit, but her overwhelming fear of spiders was getting the better of her. "Uhhh... uhhh..." she babbled. Looking away and almost breaking into tears, she blurted out, "Squish it!"

    Furret heard the order and raised a furry paw. He balled it into a fist and began to slap repeatedly at the Spinarak's head. As Furret kept punching away, the Spinarak began to grow dizzy, zigzagging around the battlefield, bumping into bushes, tripping over roots and smacking into loose rocks. Furret jumped off of the Spinarak and whipped his tail around, sweeping it off of its legs.

    "He's got the upper hand, finish it Andrea!" Larson called out with excitement.

    Before Andrea even looked at the scuffle, Furret picked the stunned Spinarak up over his head and gave it a toss down the hill.

    "Is... is it gone?" she asked, opening one eye and looking around.

    Furret jumped into the bushes and disappeared as Larson helped her up. "It's gone. I forgot you were afraid of spiders. You're paler than freshly fallen snow!"

    Andrea grumbled as she struggled to her feet. "How could you forget something like that?" Looking around for any signs of Furret, she dusted herself off. "Where'd that furball go?"

    Furret poked his head out from the bushes under the trees with Andrea's purse dangling by the strap from his mouth and bounced towards them. He stood tall and proud, presenting the purse to Andrea.

    Andrea grabbed the purse and continued walking along the path. "So, how much further is it until we get to this town?" she asked, fiddling with her new R-Kit. "I'm already not liking this whole travelling business..."

    "I doubt we're even half way," he replied.

    "Damn it..." she muttered to herself.

    "Lighten up, we'll be there in no time. Trust me."

    - - - - -


    A middle aged woman with silky, black hair was staring at the calendar stuck to her fridge with a magnet. She sighed as she added another large red 'X', finishing off a row of five. Next to the calendar was a photo of her family. Her husband, a tall, handsome and powerful looking man held her tiny son in a bear hug as she wrapped her arm around him, leaning on his broad shoulder. The photo brought back happy memories of the family she used to enjoy.

    "Okay mom, I'm leaving again!" called a young voice from the door.

    She took a deep breath and turned around to face her son, standing at the door. She walked over and removed his white and red Pokémon League limited edition cap. "I wish you didn't have to leave again, Kyle."

    "I'll be in touch, don't worry!" he said, looking up at his mother happily.

    "I don't want to be alone again..." she said, placing his hat back on his head.

    Despite his young age, he could sense the emotional torment his mother had been going through for the past year. "It's okay, mom... I'll find dad. I'll bring him home and we'll be a happy family again."

    "I should be out there with you!" she said. "But I can't..."

    Saying nothing more, the young boy turned to the door and opened it. Stepping outside, he waved to his mother one last time before walking out into the dusty, cracked dirt road leading into the town. He looked around for the sun, seeing that it was setting in the northwestern sky behind Mount Hope and adjusted his hat accordingly.

    "Maybe I should stay home overnight..." he pondered to himself. "Nah, that stuffy old bat is cramping my style. She needs too much and I can't give it to her."

    Kyle strolled casually through the dusty, deserted roads, stopping along the way to inspect the flowers as well as the blue-leafed trees for which his hometown was named after. Having just left home, he was already fraught with boredom, so he reached into his pocket, pulled out a scratched up Pokéball and began to toss it up and down.

    "I'm unbeatable~" he began to sing as he reached the town limits and the crickets began to chirp away. "Walking down this endless highway~" he continued to sing, pausing. He tossed his scratched up Pokéball in the air again and caught it behind his back, raising it above him. "With nothing but my friends beside me! We'll never give in! We'll--hunh?" he stopped his singing to listen closely.

    Feminine laughter was coming from the surrounding wilderness, followed by a male voice saying, "I knew you'd love that one."

    Kyle perked up and continued walking along the path. From around the corner and behind the tall grass appeared Andrea and Larson with Furret close behind them. His eyes lit up as he saw them. "Hi!" he said.

    Larson greeted him warmly. "Hey there little fella!"

    "I'm not little!" Kyle shot back. He rolled up his white sleeves and flexed his flabby muscles in an attempt to impress them.

    Larson chuckled. "Make way for the strongman, Andrea!"

    Andrea studied Kyle up and down. "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

    "Don't be rude, he's just a kid." Larson replied.

    Kyle laughed. "I decide my own bedtime, lady!"

    "I'm just saying, it's dangerous for you to be out here this late..."

    "Nuh uh!" Kyle said, presenting his battered Pokéball. "My Pokémon will protect me! I can prove it!"

    Andrea shrugged. "Whatever you say..." she said, turning her attention to Larson and walking past Kyle. "Do you think Professor Ansen will still be at her lab?"

    Kyle viewed her disinterest in him as an insult and decided to show her how serious he was in the only way he knew how. "Is that furry rat thing yours?" he asked.

    Andrea looked at Larson, then at Kyle. "Not really. I'm just delivering it to Professor Ansen."

    "So it's kinda yours? We have to battle then, those are the rules!"

    Larson burst out into a quiet chuckle as Andrea looked at him in confusion. "Rules? What rules? Who's rules?" she asked.

    Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. They're just the rules though."

    "Look, kid, I can't reall--"

    "You can't ignore the rules!" he interrupted. "Are you afraid I'll beat you?" He turned his limited edition hat around and pointed at her. "I think you are, but I don't blame you! I'm the greatest trainer this town has to offer!"

    Larson joked quietly to Andrea. "For such a small town, I'm not surprised... Go on, humour him. It shouldn't take long."

    "C'mon, lady!" he said excitedly.

    Andrea let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, if it'll shut you up."

    Larson put his hands on her shoulders. "That's no way to start a trainer battle... Put your game face on! Get in the zone!"

    Kyle studied the Furret and nodded, raising his Pokéball above his head. "Prepare yourself! Cause Kyle O'Connor's the name, being the best there ever was is my game!"

    Larson laughed to himself again. "Silly kid." he mumbled.

    Kyle tossed his Pokéball into the air as Furret stepped forward, ready to battle. The Pokéball popped open and an eerie wind kicked up. Floating above them was a purple orb of dark energy. Wispy slits appeared along the top of the orb and opened up into a pair of eyes. The creature grinned wickedly, showing off its sharp, cloud-like fangs.

    "What the hell..." Andrea whispered. She tapped away on her R-Kit to try to bring information up on the creature in front of her, but it only displayed static. "Umm..."

    Larson walked into the middle of the makeshift arena, acting as a referee. "Let's have a clean and fair fight! Kyle will be represented by his Gastly while Andrea will be represented by her Furret!" he said, making a chopping motion with his arm and stepping back. "Let's get started!"

    Her unfamiliarity with properly commanding a Pokémon during a trainer battle and having never seen a Gastly before had Andrea flustered. "Alright, Furret... uhh..." she started. "Kick the crap out of that thing!"

    Furret looked between her and the Gastly, confused at her command. He studied the Gastly momentarily, then charged forward. He leapt up into the air and tried to kick the ghost Pokémon, but it phased out of existence, reappearing off to the side. Furret landed on the ground but was undaunted by the miss, jumping up to attempt another kick. Furret's foot made contact with the creature, but passed through it as if it weren't there.

    Kyle laughed obnoxiously as Furret continued fruitlessly to attack Gastly. "This is rich!"

    Andrea looked at Larson, hoping he'd offer some advice, but all he did was shrug.

    "Let me offer you a little tip, lady!" Kyle said. "Gastly is a ghost... Your Furret has no hope of touching him, as you can't touch what's not there..."

    "No way..." she said, trying her best to analyze the situation. She had never believed in ghosts but took Kyle's advice. "Furret? Back off. We need to figure something out."

    Furret backed away cautiously, keeping his eyes fixed on the eerie orb of dark energy. He growled in a futile attempt at intimidating Gastly, but its only response was a blood chilling, echoing laugh that seemed otherworldly.

    "Is this it? Just a furry little rat?" he asked. "No matter! Let's finish this, Gastly! Shadow Ball!"

    The ghostly cloud began to glow a brighter purple as a cloud of swirling, dark energy formed in front of it. With a shrieking laughter, the ghost flung the ball at Furret. Cowering in fear, Furret was unable to dodge the attack; however, the ball of energy dissipated into nothingness as it made contact with Furret.

    Andrea was shocked to see Furret unharmed, thinking the battle was surely over.

    "Oops, my mistake!" he said with a cheerful grin on his face and a finger in the air. "Now it's over, summon up a Dark Pulse, Gastly!"

    Gastly cackled like a witch as an orb of black fire materialised in front of it. Giving Furret little time to react, Gastly detonated the orb, sending a wave of rippling, static energy outward. Furret again was unable to dodge the attack, only this time he was knocked back into some bushes.

    "Score! Another notch on my Pokéball!" Kyle shouted, jumping up and down happily. He waved for his Gastly to come over to him. "I only won 'cause Gastly and I have a true bond!"

    Larson stepped forward. "I guess that's it. The battle is over and Kyle is the victor. Congratulations!" he shouted, gesturing towards the young boy.

    Kyle bowed graciously. "Thank you, mister!" He turned to Gastly and snapped his fingers. "Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

    Gastly floated over to Andrea who was busy checking on Furret. "Boo!" it echoed, trying to scare her. Andrea turned to look at it, making eye contact. A thick, black fog began to envelop them as Gastly faded from view. A large, striped leg crashed through the darkness in front of her. The darkness lifted enough to reveal what looked like the Spinarak from earlier in the day, but much, much larger. Thick, lavender slime dripped from its massive, fanged mouth as it prepared to attack her.

    Andrea screamed at the top of her lungs as she closed her eyes and her skin turned snowy white from fear. She awoke a moment later to see that the monstrous spider was gone and that the darkness had lifted. She snapped to her senses after Larson and Furret started shaking her.

    "Andrea? Come on, snap out of it!" he said. "What the hell happened?

    Andrea sat up and looked around, shaking. "Spider..." she mumbled.

    "Come on, let's get you back on your feet," he said, lifting her off of the ground and trying to hold her attention. "Are you alright?"

    She let out a deep breath and bear hugged Larson. "I think so..."

    "You'll be fine... I guess he played some mind tricks on you. Whatever the case, we should keep going."

    The trio walked into the town, bathed in the warm, orange glow of the setting sun. The shadows of the trees stretched across the ground, offering some relaxing shade from the still warm temperatures. The town of half a dozen houses spread apart by spacious and expansive, overgrown lawns was eerily silent, as if abandoned. Larson led Andrea up Main Street towards the lake on the northern end of the town. Along the shores of the lake were multiple, high tech looking wind mills that towered over a large, brick building.

    As the group approached the large building, they noticed that the lights inside were off. "Maybe we shouldn't have bothered with that kid... Looks like Professor Ansen has gone home for the night."

    Andrea studied a piece of paper that was taped to the front door, detailing the lab's business hours. "According to this, she was gone two hours ago," she said, downtrodden. "Now what?"

    Larson walked to the edge of the building and looked out into the lake behind it, then inspected his surroundings. "We camp out. Unless you want to bother the locals to see who'd be willing to let us sleep in for the night. I wouldn't recommend it, though."

    Andrea sauntered over to Larson and flirtatiously bumped into him. "Well, at least it's not cold out..."

    "Exactly, count your blessings." he said, tossing his backpack onto the thick grass and digging through it. He pulled out a small pillow, then unhooked the sleeping bag attached to his backpack and rolled it out.

    Andrea smacked her forehead as she watched Larson lay out his sleeping bag. "Duh, why didn't I think of that?" she asked. "I should have brought some of that with me..."

    "Live and learn!" Larson said, laying down on it and adjusting his pillow.

    Andrea stared down at Larson as he tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position. "He's not even going to offer to share with me? He can be a jerk sometimes..." She looked around but eventually decided to just sit down and lean against the building. She looked upward to see the sky rapidly fading to black as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon and the stars began to twinkle into view. An abnormally bright and slightly red star that she had never seen before caught her attention. "Hey Larson..." she said.

    "Yeah?" he asked, turning to look at her.

    "What is that? That bright star? I've never seen it before."

    Larson sat up and looked around, then scooted up next to her. "I'm not sure..." he said, looking down at her wrist and remembering her R-Kit. "Hey, maybe that fancy thing on your wrist knows."

    "Hmm..." she said, trying to navigate the various applications on the R-Kit. After a few moments, a map of the sky appeared before her. She moved around the map until she found what looked like the star in question, then tapped on it.

    "Rose-b Comet." the R-Kit said. "The Rose-b Comet is the second comet to be documented and studied by Dr. Henner Rose of the Mossdeep Space Agency in Hoenn nearly twenty-seven years ago. Rose-b is currently on an approach vector towards our planet and will be at its closest next spring before returning to deep space. Currently accepted astrometrics indicate that it approaches our planet once every 468 years. Humans and Pokémon alike along the equator have used Rose-b as a travel guide for millennia."

    "There you go." Larson said. "Something to look up to so you never lose your way. I've been using the North Crown since the day I landed in Kanto. I've never been lost out there."

    "You also have that map I gave you..."

    Larson chuckled. He watched Andrea as she looked between the sky map and the stars above her. "So how's it feel to get away from it all?"

    "Pretty good... I hadn't even thought about my problems back at home since we left..."

    Furret poked his head from around the corner and jumped up onto Andrea.

    "Oof!" she shouted. "Watch it!"

    "He wants to use you as a pillow it looks like..." Larson said, scooting back over to his sleeping bag and yawning. "Speaking of..." he said, trailing off.

    Andrea attempted to reach into her pocket to grab Furret's Pokéball, but Furret had her arms pinned down. "Are you telling me you want to sleep out here instead of in your little ball thing?"

    Furret made a noise resembling a cat's meow, then licked her cheek.

    "I... guess that's a yes?" she said, slouching down in an attempt to get comfortable. After rolling around in the grass for a few moments, she found a comfortable position and closed her eyes. Before long, she had drifted off to sleep.

    C'mon, Jack... You've had a death wish ever since Terri died. The way things have been going for you in the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind... This could be the easy way out, huh? You still got a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero? Here's what you do. You get back down there and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts. ~ George Mason

  6. #6
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    Obviously, I'm not the quickest when it comes to reviewing chapters.

    Here we go. I thought the second chapter gave a much better insight into Andrea's character than the first one. Other characters got the focus for a few paragraphs, and even though they were short and separated, they were enough to form a general idea of the character in question. I liked how trivial game data was added into the narrative, such as Trainer IDs, characteristics, gender... etc. These things often seem forced, but I'm glad to see that they were implemented so seamlessly into the dialogue.

    I found the last hallucination bit a bit awkward. It definitely worked at the start, but the end of it and the majority of what happens until the end of the chapter seemed rushed and hastily put together.

    Overall, good chapter!

  7. #7
    Posh yet devilish Caitlin's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    Storm Island
    Chapter 3: A New Life


    The alluring aroma of exotic jungle flowers hung thick in the air, wafting around in the crisp, refreshing breeze. The winds carried the scent over to a young woman who appeared to be slumped up against a rock in the center of a clearing. The strong smell woke her up, her ocean blue eyes slowly opening. The sight around her shocked her to her senses; was she dreaming again?

    She looked around and stood up, brushing her windblown hair away from her face. In front of her was a familiar sight, a pristine pool of water surrounded by a ring of smooth stones. She approached the spring timidly, but this time of her own free will.

    "I'm here again..." she said. After waiting a moment for a response, she continued. "What does this mean?" Still no response. Taking her final steps up to the pool, she stopped as a dim orb of light began to glow beneath the glass-like surface. The same faint and ghostly shape she had seen before began to emerge from the water, not disturbing the water in any way.

    "Andrea, my child..." a wispy voice echoed.

    "Where am I?" she asked, looking around. All that could be seen was the spring, the flowers, and the marvelous night sky showing the galaxy stretching above.

    "Where you are is unimportant... What you see... is."

    "Huh?"

    "Gaze into the Spring of Eternity."

    Andrea studied the ghostly shape in front of her, but still had no idea what it was. Without taking her eyes off of it, she slowly stepped forward, then looked down into the spring of water.

    "Tell me, my child... what do you see?"

    She studied the water, but saw nothing. However, she soon began to see something. She could see herself slumped over a metal railing, standing on the boardwalk of Azure Ridge. A haggard look of sadness was washed across her face, yet her expression looked dully blank. She was staring off into the sunset, a tear forming in the corner of her eye, oblivious to the fact that Larson and young woman she didn't recognize were standing behind her, trying to get her attention.

    "Is this some kind of trick?" she asked.

    "You will be faced with a very important decision soon, my child," the voice whispered. "Your happiness will depend on it."

    "Happiness?" she asked inquisitively. Before she could get an answer, her vision faded to white as the ghostly figure sunk back into the spring.

    Andrea's eyes opened again; she appeared to be back in Blueleaf Village, leaning up against the large brick building. Larson was snoring lightly off to the side and the Furret she was delivering was still curled up on top of her. She managed to wiggle an arm free and looked at the time displayed on her R-Kit. 3:40 AM. Thoughts about what she just saw raced through her mind, but she tried her best to put them out of mind and get back to sleep.

    - - - - -


    It was bright and early in the morning. The singing of various birds carried loudly throughout the rural wilderness surrounding the tiny town of Blueleaf Village. The air had cooled off quite a bit overnight, yet temperatures still lingered in the upper 80s. For the residents of Blueleaf Village, this was just a normal summer, as many were out and busy, working in their gardens or in the wheat fields just west of the town. One particular resident was walking down the dirt road towards Professor Ansen's Research lab, trying to keep her sandy blonde hair from being blown all over by the wind.

    Upon reaching the laboratory, she reached into her pocket and retrieved a large key ring lined with nearly thirty keys. She slid one of the keys into the lock and twisted it, then pushed the door open. As she was about to step inside, a noise from around the corner of the building caught her attention. She went to investigate, only to find Andrea, Larson and the Furret meant for her, stirring in their sleep. "What's this? A Furret?" she asked, kneeling down. She rolled her sleeve up to reveal an R-Kit that looked slightly different compared to the one Andrea had, waving it closely to the Furret. "Yep, this is the one..." she said. She tapped on Andrea's shoulder to wake her up. "Oi, wake up."

    Andrea's eyes opened, blurred and still half asleep. "Huh?" She sat up and looked at the time displayed on her R-Kit, then groaned.

    "Rough night?" the woman asked.

    "Uhh... yeah..." Andrea shyly said. She crawled over to Larson and pushed him around to wake him.

    "I suppose you're Dr. Spruce's errand girl!" the woman said cheerfully, offering her hand outward. "I'm Professor Ansen, it's a pleasure to meet you!"

    Andrea stood up and stretched, yawning. "Hi, I'm Andrea..." she said quietly.

    "So this is the Furret you're delivering to me..." Professor Ansen said, studying Furret as he continued sleeping. "He's smaller than I thought he'd be, that makes things easier."

    "Small? He's huge!" Andrea said, remembering how he reached up to her hips when he brushed up against her the previous day.

    Professor Ansen laughed. "You should see how big they usually get!" She looked over at Larson who was curling his sleeping bag up and strapping it to his backpack. "And you are?"

    Larson looked up at her with sadness. "You don't remember me? I'm Larson Reiserben!"

    She covered her mouth in shock. "Larson! It's been so long! I barely recognized you!" she said, studying his facial features. "Get rid of that mustache though... you look ridiculous with it."

    Larson gasped and defended his thin, handlebar mustache as if his honor had just been insulted. "Noooo!" he shouted, bursting into laughter with Professor Ansen.

    "How's Drake? Been treating him well?" she asked.

    He reached into his pocket and grabbed a green Pokéball decorated with yellow stripes. "You bet. I could never mistreat the little guy who started it all for me."

    "Good!" she said. "What kind of adventures have you gotten up to?"

    "Nine badges from across Kanto and Johto, ma'am," Larson said with pride. "I'll return to Kanto after my vacation is done and sweep the rest under the rug! And then it's back to Johto!"

    "I keep telling you that your pride will be your downfall, but you seem to be the most successful trainer I've seen from your generation," she said, shielding herself from the sun. "Enough, though. Let's get inside, it's getting dreadfully hot already."

    Andrea pulled the Pokéball from her pocket as Larson followed the professor into her lab. She held it out towards Furret, saying, "Uhh... return, was it?" Furret began to fade red, then deformed into a red cloud of energy. As he surged back into his Pokéball, the force knocked Andrea's arm back unexpectedly. She turned her head to look down at the Pokéball which beeped. "Woah. This is cool."

    She rushed after the two and into the lab, being greeted by a marvelous display of technology that completely outshined what she had seen in Dr. Spruce's lab. The first thing that caught her attention was a large machine in the center of the main room; A dim ring of blue light flowed from the top of it. Inside was a holographic projection of a large turtle-like creature. She approached the machine and reached her hand out to touch the hologram. Much to her surprise, the projection was solid to the touch. The grooves within the turtle-like creature's shell were rigid and had a rough texture to them. "No way..."

    Professor Ansen appeared at the doorway to another room. "Ah, there you are. Looks like someone's been distracted by the hologram emitter!"

    "This can't be real..." she said, poking at the blue, flickering figure.

    "It's science non-fiction." the professor said. "The average every day citizen doesn't have much contact with it, but technology has advanced steadily and quickly in the past ten years! But before we get carried away or distracted again, please follow me."

    Andrea followed Professor Ansen through the lobby and down a hallway. Lining the sides of the hallway were doorways into rooms filled with racks of Pokéballs, bulletin boards coated in papers, baskets of berries, bottles of medicine... Anything related to the research and care of Pokémon was in abundant supply. Professor Ansen led Andrea to the third door on the right, her office. Larson was seated patiently inside, staring up at the small shelf filled with awards, though not nearly as many as Dr. Spruce had.

    "Have any trouble on the road?" she asked. "Dr. Spruce said you'd be here before nightfall, but he always has been a bit too optimistic about travel times."

    "We had a spider problem, but it was easy to deal with," Larson said.

    "That doesn't sound too bad. I remember I had a run in with a ferocious bear at one point, when I was just getting my career on the road..." the professor recalled.

    The dismissive attitudes of the two others put Andrea at unease and taunted her inabilities and fears. She abruptly tried to change the subject, pulling the Pokéball out of her pocket and offering it to the professor. "Here."

    "Thanks. I'll take that off of your hands." the professor said, swiping the Pokéball from Andrea. She placed the Pokéball onto a small device atop her desk and clicked a few buttons on it. An audible whoosh sound followed the appearance of a red glow of light that formed around the Pokéball. "I really should be thanking you, Andrea. And you too, Larson. The speedy delivery of this Furret will hopefully get me started on the next step of my current research project."

    "Whatcha researching?" Larson asked.

    The device beeped and the red glow faded. "Ah ha!" the professor said triumphantly. "Over the past year, I've been branching out into the research of Pokémon genetics. It's been an absolute nightmare in a half, due to the complexity of their genetic makeup, as well as the hundreds of species' I've been working with."

    "And what's so special about this Furret?" he questioned.

    "I'm not entirely certain just yet..." she replied. "This machine's analysis of this Furret has detected an anomaly of sorts."

    "Anomaly?"

    "Inconsistency, irregularity, abnormality," Andrea parroted as if she was reading from a thesaurus.

    "Exactly!" Professor Ansen said, smiling.

    "Is it good or bad?" he asked.

    "I don't know for certain..." she said, taking a seat. She rummaged through the wreck of papers and folders on her desk, making a futile attempt at locating a specific packet of information. "A good friend of mine, Professor Oak, may have given me some information about it... somewhere..." she said. She grew frustrated as she scattered the papers, then swiveled around to look through the papers blanketing the shelf behind her. "Ugh, the life of a scientist! This place is a mess!"

    "You should see Andrea's room some time," Larson joked. His smile dissipated as he noticed the sharp glare he received from her.

    "Any ways..." she said as she looked around one last time. "This will be the third documented case of this genetic abnormality so far. What actual effect it has on Pokémon is up for debate, as it's only recently been discovered."

    "Uh huh..." Larson said, unsure of what he was hearing.

    "Kinda interesting..." Andrea added.

    "Only kinda?" the professor asked.

    "My Introduction to Genetics class bored me in school, to be honest. I was more into the mechanical, physics and digital stuff."

    "Ah! Well, there are over a dozen different fields I work in, including some of those. I could show you around, so you can see the kind of things we do here."

    Larson nodded. "Yeah, let's have a look around! It's not often people get to see what goes on behind closed doors in research labs like this."

    "I don't know, Larson. I should really be getting home."

    Professor Ansen was visibly distraught. "Oh... well, that... kinda throws a wrench in my plans. I had a very important question to ask you, but..." she said, trailing off.

    "What is it?" Andrea asked.

    "When Dr. Spruce called ahead to let me know you'd be coming, he said you'd recently been let go from your job. I have a position opened up... nothing big, really, but something I can tell you might be interested in."

    "What position?" she asked, her expression lighting up.

    "A research assistant. Specifically, a travelling research assistant. You'd get to help out in the lab from time to time, but you'd mainly be on the road gathering information for our research projects."

    Andrea's heart sank, thinking she was about to be offered a stable laboratory job. Instead, she was given the role of a traveller, the role she already had a good feeling she wouldn't like. A role of instability and unpredictability, a role of danger. She continued to think before being interrupted.

    "He also said you have a few emotional issues to work on, but I honestly don't see that. I see potential!"

    "P-potential?" she asked quietly. "Umm..."

    Professor Ansen picked up the Furret's Pokéball and offered it to Andrea. "This will be your first research project, if you accept."

    Andrea studied the Pokéball and reacher her hand out, pushing it away.

    "Are you sure?" she asked, confused.

    Larson interjected, attempting to explain. "It's a long story, professor. It took a lot of effort just to get Andrea out here. She could probably explain it better than I could." He looked over to Andrea to see her head sinking and her slumping into the chair, shutting down. "Hmmph. About twelve years ago, when we were just little kids, I told her I wanted to explore the wilderness just outside of the city. Being dumb kids, we didn't really know better. We didn't understand the dangers. We found ourselves out in Route 301 before long." he said, pausing. "Well, to make a long story somewhat short, we found ourselves in a Sandslash den. They went after her before I could scare them off. To this day, I think that's what's gotten her to be so mistrusting of Pokémon, to never wanting to deal with them."

    Andrea recalled the frightful memory, mumbling as she nodded slowly.

    "Oh dear... I'm so sorry to hear that." the professor said. "I don't want to force it, but... I do want you to think deeply about it."

    Larson stood up and leaned over the professor's desk, whispering into her ear. The two looked back at Andrea with grins on their faces, but she was too busy looking at the floor to notice.

    "I have an idea, Andrea. Let's go for a little walk." the professor said. "I also run a small nature reserve behind the lab. We can talk in a more relaxed setting."

    Andrea looked up at the two silently, then sighed. "Fine."

    "Good!" the professor said, leaping up out of her chair energetically. She reached for her keys and unlocked the door at the side of her office. "Follow me!"

    - - - - -


    The three were walking along a gravel path away from the laboratory, sparsely shaded from the sun by large trees. Professor Ansen and Larson were chatting casually about his journey through Kanto and Johto, a conversation that was largely lost on Andrea. She tried to join in on occasion, but often had little to add, so she just listened.

    "Now that Larson's done talking my ear off, tell me a little about yourself, Andrea," the professor said. "What's your story?"

    "Umm..." Andrea shyly started. "What's there to tell? I'm just a city girl who hasn't had life going very well for her."

    "What kind of hobbies do you have? What are you good at? That kind of stuff."

    Andrea thought about what she enjoyed to spend her time on, realizing that there wasn't much. Ever since finishing school, she toiled away at her old job of helping to manage the Crimson Crawdaunt. Her social life was non-existent, due to most of her friends leaving to become Pokémon trainers, and she spent much of her free time inside, away from the very things that she felt she didn't experience enough of. "Uhh..." she started, trying to break the silence.

    "You seemed interested and blown away when you entered the lab. Tell me a little about that."

    Andrea thought back to when she entered the lab, and then back to when she visited Dr. Spruce's lab in Azure Ridge. "I've been kind of interested in science-y stuff since I was young, I guess... Physics and mechanical engineering, mostly."

    "Oh yeah?"

    "Yeah... like... I've been following the Mossdeep Space Agency's progress in building the space station."

    "Oh yeah, the space station! It's fascinating, isn't it? Relatively speaking, we know so little about our own world and we're already taking the baby steps towards space exploration."

    "I guess so," she said. Professor Ansen's interest in her calmed her nerves a bit. It seemed odd to her that a complete stranger would be so friendly, so talkative. Friendliness and fellowship was something she rarely experienced in the fast-paced lifestyle in the city. "So, umm... What's it like being a researcher?"

    The professor grinned. "I love it!" she said excitedly. "It may not seem like it to the casual observer, but everything we researchers do has enormous impact on the daily lives of nearly everyone. Pokémon trainers, school teachers, engineers, policemen, kids... We develop technology, techniques and ways of doing things that have put our growth as a society in overdrive. To wake up every morning and realize that what you're doing that day contributes to our evolution as a species is nothing short of humbling and inspiring." she said, placing her hand on Andrea's shoulder. "And perhaps soon, you'll experience it for yourself. But before I ask again if you'd like to work with me, I have something I need to try, first."

    "And what might that be?" Larson asked, his hands in his pockets.

    The group approached a stream that emptied into the lake behind the laboratory. The tall reeds that grew out of the stream shook every few moments, as if something was hiding inside of them. Before long, a pair of green frog-like creatures emerged, hopping into the water with a large splash. Andrea instinctively jumped behind Larson, as she did whenever she felt threatened or scared. Her quick and sudden movements caught the attention of the frog-like creatures; the antenna-like appendages sprouting from their heads curled up in curiosity as they tilted their heads to the side to study her.

    "What are those things?" she asked.

    "I've seen these before," Larson said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a Pokédex. The Pokédex spent a few seconds working to determine what was in front of them.

    As the Pokédex continued to load information, Professor Ansen laughed. "Is Professor Oak still handing out those worthless pieces of crap?"

    "Politoed, the frog Pokémon!" the Pokédex replied in a droll, robotic voice. "Politoed is known to gather in groups and sing songs that inspire nearby members of the species. It was once thought that a curly antenna symbolized social status within a group, but further study has disproved this theory."

    The professor motioned forward as Larson stepped out from in front of Andrea. "Approach them slowly." she said.

    "Uhh..." Andrea muttered as her voice cracked. "Do I have to?"

    "You don't, but what will it hurt to try?" she replied.

    "Ohhh..." Andrea wavered, slowly stepping forward. With each step, she tensed up slightly until she could barely move. "Deep breaths..." she said. Another step. Breathe in, breathe out. She kept a small distance and knelt down. "The professor wouldn't ask me to approach if it was dangerous, right?" she thought to herself as the pair of frog creatures continued to study her.

    One of the frog creatures hopped out of the stream and waddled over to her, croaking loudly as it approached. Andrea reluctantly held her hand out. With a friendly demeanor, the Politoed's slow waddle turned into a brisk, stumbling run. It sniffed her hand and let out a loud, "CROOOOOAAAK!"

    Andrea flinched, but quickly regained her composure and gently rubbed the Politoed on the forehead. "How you doin', uh... buddy?" she sheepishly asked.

    The Politoed made a smile-like facial impression, then turned around to join its partner. The two hopped off into the stream and back into the reeds, disappearing from sight as quickly as they appeared. Loud croaking emanated from the reeds shortly after.

    "See, not everything is vicious, Andrea," Larson said.

    "I guess..." she replied, standing up.

    "Let's keep going, shall we? There's more to see."

    The group returned to the gravel path that snaked alongside the stream, venturing through the relatively small nature preserve. Much of the wildlife was hidden from view, trying its best to avoid the harsh temperatures, but some still lingered nearby the cool stream. As the group passed by, Andrea noticed a crustacean that she immediately recognized from her old job; Crawdaunt. The red and white shellfish was locked in combat with another of its species, fighting for supremacy. She slowed her pace to observe but was careful not to fall behind.

    "So, what other experiences have you had with Pokémon, Andrea?" the professor asked. "Surely they can't all have been bad."

    "Her dad is a policeman in the city, so she's been living with a Growlithe."

    "Yeah... Spud. He's alright, he's well trained. I can trust him not to go berserk and attack me... But I've seen the way other people treat their Pokémon and I'm not sure when they'll snap."

    "I'm sure you've seen Larson's Pokémon, too!"

    "A few times... He's got that creepy... what is it, Clefairy?" she asked, trying to remember the specifics. "And his Charlizard."

    "Charizard!" he said.

    Professor Ansen giggled. "So, outside of that unfortunate event in your youth, how many truly bad experiences have you had with Pokémon?"

    Andrea took some time to think. Admittedly, she hadn't had many bad experiences, but she had always been careful to avoid contact with Pokémon whenever she could. She'd stay indoors for long stretches of the day, avoid customers at the Crimson Crawdaunt with Pokémon by their sides and cross to the opposite side of the street whenever she'd see one walking with its trainer through the city. "Truth be told?" she paused. "Just that really... Unless you count that big horrible spider from yesterday."

    "You just need to get used to them, that's all," the professor said.

    Their tour of the nature preserve had come to an end, arriving at the back door where they had started. Professor Ansen dug her key ring out of her pocket and unlocked the door to her office with it. An almost arctic blast of air welcomed the group as she opened the door and stepped inside. She took a seat behind her desk and offered for her two guests to have a seat as well.

    "So, Andrea, that brings me back to my first question. Now that you've had some positive experiences with the Pokémon under my care, will you reconsider that offer I made earlier?" the professor asked.

    The question buzzed around in Andrea's mind, bouncing back and forth between the possible risks and the possible rewards. They bounced between what her often overprotective parents might think and what she wanted for herself. Finally, it bounced off of one last thought, her dream from the night before; It said that she would be faced with an important decision soon, a decision that would have a large impact on her future and her happiness. She wondered if this might be that decision, then wondered which answer would lead her life down a path of sadness and despair, which would lead to personal happiness. "Ummm..." she said, trying to break the silence.

    "Come on, Andrea... Make up your mind." Larson muttered to himself.

    "If I say yes..." she thought to herself. "I'll be stuck travelling, I'll be leaving everything behind... including my chance with Larson..." She looked up at him and smiled, studying him as she continued to think. "But if I say no... will I ever do anything with my life?" She asked herself the toughest question, "Is Larson more important than my future? Or is he my future? Happiness..."

    After a few more moments of deliberation, she said, "I'll try it, I guess."

    "You guess?" the professor said. "Show a little confidence, dear. Will you, or will you not?"

    Andrea nodded. "I will. I'm ready."

    The professor picked up the Pokéball that was resting on her desk and handed it to Andrea. "Welcome aboard! Let's get you started." she said as she dug around in the corner of the room for something.

    Andrea looked down at the Pokéball in her hands. Her reflection in the red domed top showed hints of self-confidence that she had rarely seen before, but she figured that would wear off after a few minutes.

    Professor Ansen placed a cardboard box on top of her desk and opened it. "Do you know which R-Kit model Dr. Spruce gave you? It looks like an early DR-X model."

    "Umm..." Andrea said, looking all over the R-Kit for a model or any kind of marking.

    "Here. You'll be wanting this, it's the absolute latest in R-Kit technology. I hope you like pink!" the professor said as she handed the new R-Kit to Andrea. "And one for you..." she said, digging around in the box for another, a blue one, which she handed to Larson. "And to start you off..." she said, continuing to rummage through the box. She pulled out four shiny, unused Pokéballs and handed them to Andrea. "For your research, should you come across anything interesting."

    "I'm not going to have to learn all of that trainer stuff, am I?" Andrea said with a slight tone of misery in her voice as she took the Pokéballs.

    Professor Ansen smiled. "The basics, yes. I'd recommend learning further, but it's not required."

    "That's what I'm here for," Larson added.

    "Have this, too," the professor said, handing over a leather-bound notebook. "You could probably keep all of your information and notes on your R-Kit, but sometimes it's just easier and more convenient to write things down."

    Andrea took the notebook, stuffing it and her new-found treasures in her purse. "Thank you. So, what's my first project?"

    "You might not like it, but... there's something I've been meaning to send one of my colleagues out to do. I need something delivered to Reginald Kerk over in Silvermist City's Crystal Bay district." she said. "It's not science, but it'll get you on the road towards something else I'll need done soon, and I can promise you that it'll be more interesting."

    "Reginald Kerk? Why is that name so familiar?" Larson asked.

    "He's a mad scientist with dozens of claims to fame. Pick something and he's probably involved." she said, picking up a bulging, yellow envelope. "These are some of my research notes regarding some of the aquatic Pokémon he's sent me over the past few months."

    Andrea grabbed the envelope. "Umm... Where is Crystal Bay exactly? I've never really been outside of the city..."

    "Your new R-Kit has a map of Storm Island in it. It'll point the way for you and even give travel directions."

    Andrea looked at the pink R-Kit she had just received, studying the buttons on the screen. She tapped on the one that looked similar to a compass and a map of the world appeared. The world rotated towards a southern ocean and zoomed in; Storm Island. The map zoomed in further, scrolling from the center of the island to Andrea's current location. The level of detail on the map was impressive; As Andrea tapped on the screen, the map zoomed in further, crisply displaying each individual tile on the roof of the laboratory.

    "Computer, display directions towards Crystal Bay from the current location." the professor said.

    A blue line appeared on the map, stretching southward. Andrea's journey would take her south, back home to Azure Ridge, then west across the jagged cliffs of Route 302 towards Silvermist City. "Approximate travel time is estimated to be two and a half days on foot, one day by bicycle." the R-Kit said in a robotic voice.

    "That doesn't sound bad, right?" Larson asked as he patted her on the back. "Two days is nothing. It takes a week and a half to get from Goldenrod City to Azalea Town."

    Andrea grumbled and sighed. "It does, but I'm going to have to get used to it, I guess..."

    "That's the spirit!"

    Professor Ansen eyed Andrea suspiciously, clearly sensing her nervous attitude and lack of faith in herself. "Any questions, before I send you off?"

    Larson quickly butted in. "Nope, ain't no one got time for questions! I'll take it from here!"

    "But--"

    "Trust me, Andrea! When's the last time I had a bad idea?"

    "Uhh..." she said, remembering the time he strapped fireworks to the wheels of his bike.

    "I'm sure you'll figure it out. It can be confusing at first, but if Larson can figure it out..." the professor joked. "I probably don't need to say this, but speak with your parents when you get home. You'll be gone for weeks at a time, possibly months depending on which projects I put you on."

    "Understood," Andrea said.

    "And grab something out of the fridge in the lobby before you go. It's hot enough to melt stone out there!" she replied.

    Andrea looked at Larson with a blank look on her face, then raised her eyebrows as if to tell him to lead the way. It all happened so quickly that she hadn't had time to absorb what might be in store for her now. She realized she barely even had control over what she had said, but figured she had done a well enough job. "Professor Ansen seemed confident in me, so I must have done something right."

    She followed Larson out into the hallways and then into the main lobby. She studied the bizarre grin on his face. "So what now, Lars?"

    "We head home and prepare for the journey."

    "It's just a couple days of walking, it doesn't sound like we'd need to make much preparation..."

    "You'll learn," he said, stopping at the refrigerator in the main room and pointed to his head. "Think! What might you need on a long trip through the wilderness?"

    "Food and water, obviously." she said, opening the refrigerator door. "Eeep!" she shouted as she jumped in fright. Inside the refrigerator sat a small echidna-like creature, curled up in a ball; A dark turquoise stripe ran along its snout and up its head. The stripe widened to cover the entire creature's back which was lined with four, glowing red holes. It slumbered peacefully, unaware that its refuge from the heat had been opened. "What is it?" she asked.

    "It's a Cyndaquil, you dope! You know that!" Larson joked. "It's harmless..." he paused. "Mostly harmless."

    Andrea quickly reached into the refrigerator, pushing aside a basket of berries and grabbing two bottles of lemonade. She handed one to Larson and continued her previous thought. "First aid supplies."

    "Those will come in very handy..." he said, leading her out of the lab and into the blazing sun. "You should probably call your parents, let them know you'll be home shortly, but you need to speak with them about your new job."

    Andrea sighed. "I suppose you're right. My mom isn't going to be too thrilled, I don't think she believes I can do anything on my own."

    "Now's the time to prove her wrong," Larson said.

    Andrea reached into her purse and dug around for her cell phone. She flipped it open, cycling through the numbers until she reached her parents. Three rings was all it took before the phone was picked up.

    "Hello?" a masculine voice asked.

    "Hi dad!" she said. "I made it to Blueleaf safely!"

    "Alright, that's my girl! I knew you could do it!"

    "It was only a few hours of walking, dad, it's not a big deal..." she said, pausing. "Umm... when I get home, I have something to talk to you and mom about."

    "Yeah, yeah. What's the matter, is everything alright?"

    "Yes. I've got big news that I'll talk about later, kay?" she replied. "I should be home in a few hours, I'm just leaving Blueleaf now."

    "Already? Aww c'mon, stay up there for awhile, enjoy the wilderness."

    Andrea looked around at the village of Blueleaf. The atmosphere was very different from the bustling city; There weren't mindless hordes of pedestrians roaming the streets nor was there anything particularly interesting. Just grass, fields of golden wheat, large trees, some draped with blue leaves, and rustic, grim looking people. "I don't think so. I'm not really liking the atmosphere. It's so quiet out here!"

    "I'd kill for some quiet every now and then, but I won't force you. I can't!"

    "I'll be going now. Can you let mom know I'm on my way home?" she asked.

    "I can and will. See you soon."

    "Good bye," she said, closing her phone and putting it into her pocket. She stared at the ground as she followed Larson to the village limits, thinking deeply. "Do you think I made the right choice, Lars?" she asked.

    "Who can say? It's certainly better than staying at home, being angry at that guy who fired you." he replied.

    "Yeah, you're right. Let's see what life throws at me this time." She raised her hand to her forehead to block the sun, finding the Azure Ridge city skyline on the horizon, then tugged on his arm. "Shall we?"

    C'mon, Jack... You've had a death wish ever since Terri died. The way things have been going for you in the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind... This could be the easy way out, huh? You still got a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero? Here's what you do. You get back down there and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter, and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts. ~ George Mason

  8. #8
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    And we're off!

    That was a rather good chapter, and Professor Ansen definitely got her spotlight. Larson mostly faded into the background, which is all well considering he got two chapters to form his personality. Should Andrea continue on the path she's on, Professor Ansen could become a very prominent character, so getting some attention will be good in the long run, even if she's not likely to make many more physical appearances.

    A well-paced chapter, and there were no grammar mistakes that I could spot. I look forward to what adventures Andrea's new job will take her on, and how they will relate to the overall story; having a character be so wary of Pokémon having to take on such a job is an interesting combination, if done right. Great chapter!

  9. #9
    East Unova Resident SuperTrainStationH's Avatar
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    Default Re: Storm Island

    CHAPTER 1:

    Starting off with Chapter 1 I’ll say that due to the nature of the anime and games, lots of fics tend to start with an eager, enthusiastic person who just became eligible or able to become a Pokémon Trainer starting off on a beautiful day with perfect weather.

    Its a nice chance to see the perspective of someone who just happens to live in this world and isn’t into raising or battling Pokémon wind up having to persue the Trainer lifestyle as a matter of nescessity in taking care of everyday business and isn’t even eager or enthusiastic about it.

    I didn’t see any grammar problems, and while nothing is actually wrong with the two things I’m about to point out, perhaps they might be of some use to you.

    When in the narration you described “A light but refreshing breeze”, I personally find the idea of a “light breeze” to be refreshing in and of itself. The “but” in there doesn’t seem nescessary to me, if you had described “a light, refreshing breeze” I wouldn’t have found anything amiss.

    Also, I could suggest when you describe in the narration that “There wasn't a single cloud in sight all the way to the horizon.”, if there wasn’t a single cloud in sight, that would most surely include out the the horizon. What you intended was clear, but perhaps you overdescribed it a bit?

    I love your invention of the “Crimson Crawdaunt” restaurant, it’s little touches like that that really make individuals conceptions of the Pokémon world worth checking out in the form of fics.

    Out of curiosity, with the line “If I had a silver coin for every trainer who did that...”, are you using “silver coin” as a device to allow you to avoid mentioning any particular country’s coins and currency? If so it was a brilliant idea, and even if that wasn’t your intention, the decision to say “silver coin” rather than “nickel” or something like that interests me. Did any particular through to into that?

    Also, it’s cute when Andrea messes up Charizard’s name, but also not at all unrealistic given her background.


    ----------
    CHAPTER 2:

    The encounter with Dr. Spruce was neat. It felt exactly like one of those moments from early in the game where someone from your home town gives you a key item or device, without it seeming too contrived.

    The R-Kit is neat! It incorperates ideas like the PokéGear and Poketch into something even better! I’d love for the upcoming generations of Pokémon to have something like that on the bottom screen, incorporating the features of the Gen V C-Gear into something far more useful.

    “Alright, Furret... uhh..." she started. "Kick the crap out of that thing!” - while obviously humorous, there’s something very honest and realistic about that moment. It’s kind of unrealistic to expect beginning trainers to always know all their Pokémon’s moves as though they are literally sitting in front of a video game screen with all the options spelled out for them. Same goes for Kyle’s goof of having his Gastly using Shadow Ball.

    I’m not sure if the comment about people using the comet to navigate by is scientifically accurate since comets move fairly rapidly and wouldn’t nescessarily remain consistent in the night sky, but who cares, we just had a scene with a giant weasel fighting both a giant purse snatching spider and a ghost, some people might get hung up over that, but given the nature of this universe I would consider any serious complaints over that detail in THIS context to be seriously nitpicky.

    ---------------
    CHAPTER 3:

    As this chapter begins I consider for the first time how unusual it is in my experience for someone’s “trainer journey” to begin with inconsistent, non-ideal weather. It usually always seems perfect and sunny, its nice for it to be uncomfortably hot during one of these stories for a change.

    Wow, they get new R-Kits already! Talk about moving up in the world!

    Cyndaquil in the fridge! How unexpected! Have to admit, Cyndaquil is not my first choice for a Pokémon that would need to go to such extremes to hide from the heat, but hey, maybe this Cyndaquil is eccentric or something, eh? :P

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