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  1. #106
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Thanks. I didn't really mean for that to be a mystery, though. Same as the egg Christina gave Steven.

  2. #107
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Heheheh....we're not going to hurt anybody, are we? *steps slowly away from mthe nasty steel monster*
    Great chapter! The prodigy thing was a bit predictable, but I don't think it's anything to bang your head against a wall about. The evolution was well timed, and you're revealing Stone's inexperience very well. Hopefully he'll win the inevitable battle!
    Excellent work!

    Made by Blue Dragon!

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    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Thanks!

    Just to let everybody know, that explosion wasn't random. I'll just say that the Pokémon League has responded.

  4. #109
    Whispers in the dark... DarkDreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Eh, I enjoyed the chapter. A bit predictable and slightly cliched at the end, but I'm still interested in this. Good job, i'm now a regular reader of yours =D
    KPU GM/ModSteven Stone Lover <3

    ...And so the elegant night vanquished the morning sun...

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    Vile Insect. RaccoonGoon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Great chapter.

    It was awesome when Steven finally came outta the closet. (snicker)

  6. #111
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Thanks.

    And yet another bad pun? *wags finger*

  7. #112
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Sorry I haven't commented before. I had been reading, but just recently caught up. Steven 'coming out of the closet' was pretty good haha, and I agree that perhaps he could use a bit more depth as far as characterization goes, but overall I think the characters in this story, Wallace especially, are impressively constructed. Very relatable and believable.

    My favorite character is Stone. Noobishness and just the whole learning process we readers get to see thru his eyes is great.

    Overall a great story that I enjoy reading very nuch!

    Decades have passed, and Kanto is a much different place. Follow Lucas Green as he and his friends search for answers and look to fulfill their destinies.

  8. #113
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Thanks, Legacy!

    I do have some personality traits for Steven that I just haven't been able to reveal yet, but hopefully, those'll show themselves soon, so don't you guys worry.

  9. #114
    Run through any Wall Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Yay for Metang, who'll actually get Steven a chance to kick Set's ass. I liked the chapter though I felt it was a bit rushed at the end.

  10. #115
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Thanks. I would've included the battle, but I want to keep the chapters short.

    Also, the next chapter should be up soon.

  11. #116
    Registered User Staulmaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    I kind of figured the prodigy would be Birch, lol. Nevertheless this was a good chapter and I'm glad Beldum finally evolved.

    I did notice that Set threatened to destroy the whole town, but Team Millenium didn't want to kill anybody, didn't they? I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it, and if you don't want to reveal it since it is going to be found in a later chapter than that's fine, lol.
    I am an unabashed Gen III fan.

    My fic: Adventures in Hoenn Read it if you'd like. I could use some criticism. Chapters tend to be a bit long, though...

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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Quote Originally Posted by Staulmaster View Post
    I kind of figured the prodigy would be Birch, lol. Nevertheless this was a good chapter and I'm glad Beldum finally evolved.

    I did notice that Set threatened to destroy the whole town, but Team Millenium didn't want to kill anybody, didn't they? I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it, and if you don't want to reveal it since it is going to be found in a later chapter than that's fine, lol.
    It just goes along with the Millenium Grand Viziers. If you didn't know, Set is named after the Egyptian god of chaos, storms, darkness, and the desert.

    Isis is named after the Eqyptian goddess of magic, motherhood, and fertility.

    The final one is Osiris, god of the Afterlife, death, the dead, and sometimes rebirth. In Egyptian legend, Osiris was the husband of Isis and was murdered by Set before being resurrected by Isis temporarily in order to conceive a son. In short, Set is basically the enemy of Isis and Osiris.

  13. #118
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Oh! I see, now. That's pretty cool the way you incorporate their names subtly like that. Good job. I'm even more eager for the next chapter now, lol.
    I am an unabashed Gen III fan.

    My fic: Adventures in Hoenn Read it if you'd like. I could use some criticism. Chapters tend to be a bit long, though...

  14. #119
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn

    Didn't see your comment earlier. Thanks!

    Chapter 11: Grand Vizier Set
    Set chuckled. “Are you threatening me, boy? One evolution isn't going to save you. You still only have one Pokémon, after all.” He took a single step forward.

    “My name is Steven Stone, and I'm more powerful than you think!” Steven declared, also taking a step forward.

    “Fine, then. But don't expect to live through this. You're in my domain, now,” Set said. “Duskull, Shadow Sneak.”

    Duskull melted into its shadow again, and slunk toward Metang.

    “Metang, use Confusion to stop Duskull!” Steven said.

    “Met!” Metang affirmed. It shut its eyes tightly and focused. A wave of purple energy emanated from Metang's head and washed over Duskull, pulling out of its shadowy form and sending it flying back toward its trainer.

    Set growled. “Pursuit!”

    Duskull darted forward, slamming into Metang's body. Both Pokémon collapsed to the ground.

    “Quick, Metang, use Metal Claw before it can get away!” Steven said.

    Metang immediately slashed at Duskull with glowing silver claws, and the ghost-type recoiled back across the floor.

    “Again, Metang!”

    Metang dug its claws into the tile and launched itself forward, raking its claws over Duskull's back.

    “Now Confusion!”

    A second purple burst of energy erupted from Metang's head, knocking Duskull out.

    “Bah! Duskull was already drained from our previous battle,” Set said, returning Duskull to its Poké Ball. “Kirlia, Shadow Ball!”

    “Metang, block it with Confusion!” Steven ordered.

    Kirlia hopped forward and a small black sphere began to form between its hands. The sphere quickly expanded before Kirlia launched it at Metang. Metang's confusion attack redirected the Shadow Ball into the ceiling, which it passed through harmlessly.

    “Now, use Confusion to propel yourself forward, and attack with Metal Claw!” Steven said.

    Metang angled its hands behind it and jetted itself forward with a blast of telekinetic energy, then slashed at Kirlia just as it disappeared.

    “Now use Magical Leaf! We'll wear it down if we have to!” Set commanded.

    Kirlia materialized on the opposite end of the room, formed a blade-shaped leaf similarly to its Shadow Ball attack, and launched it at Metang. The leaf sliced through the air at such an astonishing speed that Steven and Metang were left with no time to react, and the leaf crashed into the blue body and shattered into nothingness like an illusion. Metang was pushed back slightly by the attack, but showed no sign of injury.

    “Confusion!” Steven called.

    Kirlia again teleported out of the way just as the attack reached it. It reappeared directly behind Metang and sent another Magical Leaf smashing into its body. Metang turned and attempted to attack again, but Kirlia again teleported.

    “Your Pokémon's acting without your orders, Set. It looks like you don't have its trust or respect,” Steven said, trying to unnerve his opponent.

    “You think so?” Set said, feigning deep thought. “I guess it really does look that way. But let me let you in on a little secret- it's not what it appears!” Kirlia reappeared next to Set and launched another Magical Leaf.

    Metang winced as the leaf sliced at its body. The attacks were beginning to take their toll- that much was obvious to Steven.

    “What, then!?” Steven said, frustrated.

    “You'll find out in due time. My colleague, Isis, uses the same technique.”

    The simple mention of the cold, emotionless Isis sent chills down Steven's spine. The battle against her had been completely one-sided. He, Wallace, and Winona had all been unable to land a single attack on her mighty Kadabra.

    “Metang, try and anticipate Kirlia's next location, and counter with something!” Steven said. But what could this secret technique be?

    Kirlia appeared a few feet behind Metang and launched another Magical Leaf. Metang immediately spun in mid-air and slashed through the attack with its own Metal Claw. The twin halves of the leaf sailed harmlessly past Metang and shattered against the tile floor.

    “Metal Claw again!” Steven said. Once again, Kirlia evaded Metang's attack.

    Steven noticed Metang was now scanning around the room, its red eyes moving over every object in the lab. It instantly located Kirlia as it rematerialized, and sliced through another Magical Leaf.

    “Confusion!” Steven shouted, but it was too late. Kirlia had already disappeared again.

    Metang again was scanning the room, and expertly countered another Magical Leaf.

    Set's face was engulfed in a scowl. He was obviously frustrated by something.

    Then it hit him. Both Pokémon were psychic-types. Isis's Kadabra was a psychic-type as well. Psychic means 'of the mind'.

    Steven smirked.

    “What?” Set demanded.

    “It's telepathy, isn't it?” Steven said.

    Set simply growled in reply.

    Steven wasn't sure it would work. Kadabra were known for their incredible mental capacity, and Kirlia were known for their ability to read emotions and see the future. Metang were known for their flight speed- about 60 miles per hour- and their psychokinetically-generated magnetism. It was probable that they were able to communicate telepathically with each other, but Steven wasn't sure they could communicate that way with humans.

    He decided to try it anyway. Metang? Steven thought.

    Metang turned to face Steven and nodded.

    I want you to anticipate Kirlia's next move, block its attacks, and when it lands near you, take it out with a Metal Claw before it can use Magical Leaf. Got it?

    Metang wobbled back and forth slightly, as if nodding.

    Kirlia disappeared again, and immediately reappeared behind Metang, leaving no time in-between. Steven clenched his teeth, and the second that passed seemed like an hour. Metang spun, Kirlia's arms were poised in front of it like a ballerina. Metang's claws gave off a lengthening silvery glow, the crescent-shaped illusory leaf began forming between Kirlia's hands. Kirlia pushed the leaf forward with its psychic powers, but Metang slashed upward through it and slashed at Kirlia itself, sending it tumbling back, end-over-end.

    It struggled back to its feet, and then collapsed once more, defeated.

    Set nonchalantly returned his Kirlia to its Poké Ball and gave an evil grin. “Now it's time for my trump card. Let's show ourselves now!”

    As if on command, some of the air beside Set began to distort. This illusion flickered, and faded, revealing a bipedal fox-like Pokémon with dark gray and black fur, and blood-red claws. A long, bushy red mane with black tips flowed from the back of its head, tied back by a light blue wrap. The Pokémon's fearsome blue eyes locked menacingly on Metang. “Zoro...” it growled. “ARK!”

    “Zoroark, Night Slash!” Set commanded.

    Zoroark howled and blurred as it darted forward. Metang was helpless as Zoroark slashed at it with claws that trailed darkness.

    “Metang, counter with Metal Claw!” Steven said.

    “Dodge it with Agility!” Set countered.

    Metang spun with the momentum from Zoroark's blow and swiped at it with glowing claws, but it had already darted out of range.

    Without orders, Zoroark stretched its jaws open wide and wafted its paw in front of its face, pretending to yawn. Metang growled in response to Zoroark's taunting.

    “Metang, launch yourself forward and use Metal Claw!” Steven said.

    “Dark Pulse,” Set commanded, just as Metang shot forward. Zoroark roared and a pulse of darkness exploded from its body, knocking Metang to the ground.

    “Night Slash!” Set said. Zoroark leapt high into the air, somersaulted, and bore down on Metang with its claws ready to strike.

    “Block it with Confusion!” Steven directed.

    Metang launched a wave of psychic energy at the falling Zoroark, but it passed right through and struck Metang's shoulder.

    There was a strained grunt as Birch stumbled to his feet. “Combusken, Double Kick!” he shouted, tossing a Poké Ball of his own. A yellow and orange avian Pokémon burst energetically into battle, and struck Zoroark in the chest twice, first with one bird-like leg, then with the other, before landing nimbly on the floor. Zoroark slammed into the tiles, shattering several and rolling over.

    Zoroark bitterly stood and glared at both of its enemies.

    Steven realized that Zoroark would move to block any of Metang's advances, and that he'd been verbally directing Metang. Metang, free the captives. John will take care of Zoroark, he thought.

    Steven nodded to Birch, who ordered another Double Kick. Combusken and Metang both darted forward simultaneously. As Zoroark dealt with the fire-type, Metang quickly slashed the ropes binding Wallace, Joy, and the lab workers. Once free, Wallace released his Magikarp and his Feebas, Joy her Chansey, and Professor Mangrove a purple, four-winged bat with large yellow eyes.

    Set growled. “Zoroark, let's get out of here!” With that, he tossed a small purple sphere into the floor, sending up a plume of smoke.

    Moments later, the smoke cleared enough that Steven could plainly see that Set and Zoroark had disappeared.

    “Stop them before they get away!” Mangrove called. “They'll leave on the helicopters!”

    “Mom!” Joy said, and rushed out the door, with Chansey in tow. Steven, Wallace, Birch, and their Pokémon followed closely behind.

    Sure enough, a whining gave away the helicopters' starting motors. The group sprinted around a group of houses and found three massive cargo helicopters, blades slowly revolving around the rotor. Several Millennium Grunts were fending off a massive bull-like Pokémon with three tails, being commanded by a tall, thin man in denim jeans and a t-shirt. Their Pokémon were falling to the Tauros at a rate that astounded Steven. One by one, the grunts returned their Pokémon and hopped aboard one of the choppers. Once all had boarded, Set charged with his Zoroark, but the man calmly ordered a Giga Impact attack.

    Tauros stomped its feet and charged forward, lowering its head and butting Zoroark, which cried out in sheer pain and sailed through the air, hitting the ground rolling. It had already lost consciousness. Set immediately retreated to the helicopter, dragging Zoroark along by the paw.

    The helicopters began to rise from the ground, with Set's in the lead. The bay door closed behind him. The second followed, and then the third.

    Joy screamed, pointing at the cargo bay of the third copter, which was not yet sealed. A pink-haired woman struggled, bound with ropes around her wrists and ankles, and a white gag muffled her voice.

    “Mom! MOM!” she wailed desperately.

    Isis and her Kadabra was standing next to the struggling woman.

    “Grovyle! Pursuit!” Birch shouted over the roar of the blades. He hurled a second Poké Ball, and a green reptilian Pokémon with a red underbelly and long, slender leaves trailing from its elbows, tail, and head materialized. The Grovyle disappeared from view and slammed into Isis's Kadabra, causing it to double over onto its knees.

    A strong wave of psychic energy knocked Grovyle from the helicopter, but it landed lightly on its feet, unharmed. The helicopters rose up, out, and away from Littleroot Town, and were soon specks in the darkening sky.

    Baltoy suddenly leapt into Steven's arms, but then shoved itself away, and looked down at the ground, apparently embarrassed.

    Joy fell to her knees and began to whimper. The man with the Tauros jogged over. “Are you injured?” he asked.

    “No, we're all fine, thankfully. But Team Millennium has kidnapped her mother,” Steven explained.

    “It's good that you're all safe,” the man said. “My name is Joseph. The Pokémon League contacted me to help out. Luckily, I was investigating some ruins near Fortree City.” He knelt down next to Joy. “It's gonna be okay. Team Millennium won't harm your mother. She's too valuable to them.”

    Joy sniffled, and wiped a tear from her eye. “Why would they want her?”

    “Well, your mother is Nurse Felicity, isn't she? I've known your mother for a while now. She has knowledge of this area that few others have,” Joseph assured her. “I'll find her.”

    “But, how can you find her? What, are you one of the Elite Four?” Joy said, doubt penetrating her voice.

    Joseph chuckled. “Something like that.”

    “He's pretty tough, Joy,” Steven said. He trusted this man.

    “Indeed,” Wallace agreed. “The battle I witnessed today can only be described as 'curbstomp'!”

    Tauros expelled a blast of air from its nose. “Oh, sorry, Tauros. I forgot you don't like being outside when it's dark. Return.” Tauros disappeared in a flash of light, and Joseph reattached the Poké Ball to his belt. “Tauros has poor vision. He really doesn't like it when he can't see.”

    Joseph stepped to Steven. “I recognize you. You're Mr. Stone's son, right? Steven?” The two shook hands.

    Steven grinned. “Yeah, that's me.” Then his face flushed. “Please don't tell my dad where I am.”

    Joseph chuckled. “You don't have to worry about that.” He stepped to Wallace. “And you're Juan's apprentice. Wallace.”

    “Yeah, how'd you know?” Wallace said.

    “Oh, Juan and I had a good battle a few months ago. I'll have to tell you about it sometime,” Joseph explained. “But for now, let's get back to Oldale Town. But there's only room enough for two passengers on my ride, so you'll have to fly back on your Metang, Steven.” Joseph turned to Birch.

    “Nice seeing you again, John. Give my regards to the professor,” he said. “Wargle, let's go!”

    A red, white, and blue eagle-like Pokémon with a feathery crest on its head appeared from Joseph's second Poké Ball. Joseph stretched his leg over Wargle's neck, and braced his knees against the Pokémon's wings. He reached for Joy, who reluctantly stood and allowed herself to be hauled onto Wargle by the man's surprisingly impressive strength. Wallace leapt on behind Joseph, and wrapped his arms around the two riders in front of him. Joseph leaned forward, and allowed the two passengers to return their Pokémon before giving the command: “Fly!”

    On command, Wargle soared into the air, high above the ground. There was a high-pitched scream, which Steven thought was Joy until Wallace looked down at the ground, mouth gaping.

    Steven waved to Birch, who waved back, along with Combusken and Grovyle. Baltoy almost eagerly jumped onto Steven's shoulder, and Metang lowered itself to the ground. Steven sat down on Metang's flat head, gripped its shoulders, and then urged it north, toward Oldale.
    Last edited by Lugion; 22nd November 2010 at 12:02 AM.

  15. #120
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (CHAPTER 11 POSTED)

    Glad to see Baltoy is growing closer to Steven.
    You've done exceptionally, really. Grammar is pristine, and the eloquence with which you flowed was exceptional. I loved the telepathy thing; gives Steven extra advantage! His use of Confusion on Zoroark also divulged his uncertainty, but he's learning!
    Nice work!

    Made by Blue Dragon!

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