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  1. #136
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    Wow, I've missed a lot.

    Wallace has got some real spunk, using Splash to take a Pokémon out.

    I also got to the part where Beldum evolves into a Metang. It seems like a common theme in stories like these that a Pokémon evolves in a time of need.

    Also... Zoroark? I thought you'd know better than to use a Gen.5 Pokémon in a fic that was started in the times of Gen.4, in a fic that takes place in Gen.3 XD

    Nice job, passing the 50 page mark. My own story is still a few pages shy of 200, and I haven't written anything for it in two months >_<.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  2. #137
    Whispers in the dark... DarkDreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    Nicely paced :3 And you know how much I love pace xD I'm hoping to see some actual Pokemon catching later on ;) The only thing I've picked out was:
    “What? Already? We've got to get going soon, if you're going to get to Mauville and I'm going to get back to Petalburg,”
    The "if you're going to get to Mauville and I'm going to get back to Petalburg" was unneeded imo. If Wallace and Steven already knew that, why would he repeat it again? It's like saying, "we have been walking through this desert for the past five days, and it is quite hot. We have no water -- we'll have to find some soon, or we'll die," but more mild.

    Overall, still a good read :3
    KPU GM/ModSteven Stone Lover <3

    ...And so the elegant night vanquished the morning sun...

  3. #138
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    lol, don't worry, Zekurom. I don't think I'm using anymore Gen V Pokémon. I wanted each of Team Millennium's higher-ups to have a sort of signature Pokémon that relates to their namesake. Isis is the goddess of magic, so she got Kadabra/Alakazam, and Set is the god of chaos, so he got a badass dark-type. :P

    And thanks, DarkDreams. I guess you're right about that. I just tend to have problems bringing something up and then not mentioning it again until the very end. And a certain Pokémon Steven's been looking for since the beginning is in an upcoming area, so you'll definitely see some capturing.

  4. #139
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    Sorry for the double post here, but my mother's freaking out one week into the six weeks because I have ONE zero in my AP Stats class that's bringing my grade down below 70, and it won't even be worth anything much longer.

    Damn parents.

  5. #140
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lugion View Post
    Sorry for the double post here, but my mother's freaking out one week into the six weeks because I have ONE zero in my AP Stats class that's bringing my grade down below 70, and it won't even be worth anything much longer.

    Damn parents.
    Take your time! If you have to take a temporary hiatus from Bulbagarden, I'd say you should do that too. We can all wait for a chapter and you personal life should come first!

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  6. #141
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    Quote Originally Posted by Flame Battler View Post
    Take your time! If you have to take a temporary hiatus from Bulbagarden, I'd say you should do that too. We can all wait for a chapter and you personal life should come first!
    I agree with this. Why do you think I took that one-week break back a month ago? (I'd do it again too >_>)
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  7. #142
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    It's not that I need to. I'm perfectly fine right now. I told my parents that I'd be passing again by the end of the week, and I am.

    I just got rather angry that I'm in trouble over that class. I don't need it to graduate and it won't be important to me in the future. Now, if it was English, I'd agree.

  8. #143
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Updated with CHAPTER 12)

    Sorry about the wait, everybody, but being on restricted access really limits the time I have to write. Anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter.

    Chapter 13: Route 105
    The ride to Dewford Town wasn't taking nearly as long as Steven would've thought. The boat rode more like a catamaran than an actual boat, and it was obvious by the skill with which he handled the wheel that Captain Briney was a very experienced sailor. Steven leaned on the rail, gazing out at the shimmering sapphire sea, and was surprised to find no swimmers floating in the ocean today.

    “So, uh... where are you from?” Stern asked Steven, walking up to lean on the rail next to him.

    “Rustboro City,” Steven said. He wasn't sure he should say more. Joseph had seemed to trust Briney, but what about Stern?

    “I heard you're taking the League Challenge. How many badges do you have?”

    “Just one. The Stone Badge,” Steven answered.

    “That's the one from Rustboro, right? Isn't there a Gym in Petalburg City?”

    “Yeah. The leader's name is Christina. She uses grass-types, but she has some powerful Pokémon. I didn't stand a chance.”

    “Think you'll do better here?” Stern asked.

    “The gym leader here uses fighting-types. My Metang is part psychic-type, so I have the advantage.”

    “Toy!” Baltoy said, slapping the back of Steven's calf.

    “You want to battle for me, Baltoy?” Steven said.

    Baltoy shook its head.

    “Oh. Just battle?”

    Baltoy nodded.

    “All right, then, Baltoy,” Steven said, a slight grin on his face.

    “What's with your Baltoy?” Stern asked.

    “Oh, it's not mine,” Steven said, before explaining the origins of the ground-type.

    “So you don't want to keep it?” Stern asked.

    “Of course I do. It just doesn't want to stay with me,” Steven said.

    “I wouldn't really want a Baltoy anyway. They wouldn't be at home on the sea,” Stern said. He craned his neck to gaze toward the island in the distance.

    “Not much longer now,” he said.

    Suddenly, the boat jolted. Stern looked back at Captain Briney, who was now worriedly looking over the side of the boat. “What was that, Captain?” he shouted.

    “I don't know! Whatever it was, it came from underwater!”

    Steven clutched the rail with one hand and his stomach with the other. The boat jolted again, loosing a rancid belch from his stomach. At once he threw his head down over the side of the boat and wretched.

    “What's wrong with him?” Stern asked.

    “Probably just a little seasick. He doesn't have his sea-legs yet!” Briney said, and then chortled to himself.

    The boat jolted a third time, this time much harder than before, and Steven heard Captain Briney's laughing quickly turn into a gasp, and Baltoy cried out in alarm. Then Steven was enveloped in a deep blue haze. He could feel Metang's Poké Ball squirming with urgency. It was trying to escape for some reason, but it was in vain. Pokémon couldn't escape from their Poké Balls.

    He could just make out a long, slender, dark shape retreating from the still-rocking boat, but he was unable to recognize the figure before it disappeared from sight in the murk. And then he realized just what the blue murk was.

    Steven tried to swim. He kicked his legs and flailed his arms, but he just sank deeper. He'd never really swam before. Sure, his tutor had taken him running through the gardens back home, but his father had never let him near more water than a half-full bathtub for as long as he could remember. He could feel the weight of the egg in his backpack pulling him down.

    The weight shifted. Steven continued to sink deeper into the ever-darkening waters. His lungs burned and he felt like there was a large weight crushing his chest.

    Then he felt himself rising. He let out the stale air from his throat as he was pulled up by some unknown force, breaking the surface in seconds. He gasped, sucking in the salty air.

    “You okay, bro?” asked a voice behind him.

    “Yeah... yeah,” Steven huffed. He looked up, seeing Briney's boat heading toward him.

    “Good thing I was out here today, man. You almost drowned,” Steven's rescuer said.

    Steven coughed up a little water, but otherwise felt fine. He looked down, suddenly realizing he was floating on top of some wide, flat surface. Steven's legs hung off to either side, and the end of the surface was curved. It was mostly yellow, with two blue stripes running parallel to each other at the center of the surface.

    Briney came closer on the boat, and Steven could see that Stern was easing it toward them. The old man extended one muscular arm down toward him, and he took it and felt himself lifted bodily over the railing and onto the deck.

    “Thanks, lad!” Briney yelled to the rescuer.

    Steven tried to climb to his feet, but his knees quivered and gave in. He crawled to the edge of the boat to get a look at his rescuer. He was a boy who didn't look like he could be much older than Steven, definitely younger than Stern, well-muscled, wearing dark blue trunks. Wavy black hair framed his face.

    “Thanks for saving me,” Steven said weakly.

    “Need a lift? It's quite a ways back to Dewford still!” Briney said.

    “Sure! Thanks, man!” The boy stood surely on his surf board, and clutched his fingers on the edge of the deck, and hauled himself up onto the deck beneath the rails. From the water, a round red and blue Pokémon with jagged yellow fins and sharp fangs butted the surf board, sending it high enough for the boy to grab it and lay it next to him.

    “Thanks, Carvanha!” he said.

    “Vanha!” the Pokémon replied.

    “Is that your Carvanha?” Briney asked.

    The boy chuckled dumbly. “Yup!” he said, scratching the back of his head.

    “I'm Captain Briney, the owner and commanding officer of this fine vessel!” Briney said.

    “This is Steven, who we're taking to Dewford so he can challenge Silva,” he continued, indicating Steven.

    He pointed to Stern, who waved happily. “And this is my apprentice, Stern.”

    “I'm Archie,” the boy said.

    “Well, Archie,” Briney said, extending his hand, “it's a pleasure to meet ya! That's some grip you've got!” Briney retracted his hand from Archie's grip and rubbed it gingerly.

    Archie turned to Steven. “So you're gonna fight Silva? That's awesome, dude.”

    “Thanks. I've already beaten Clay in Rustboro, and that was about a week ago,” Steven said, finally finding himself able to stand. “I think I should do fine.” He swung his backpack around in front of him and unzipped the main pocket, finding the egg still intact. He sighed in relief.

    Then the boat jerked again, much more violently this time. Steven fell back to his knees, and felt Baltoy clutching his shoulder both for balance and in terror. Briney and Archie both flailed their limbs, barely managing to maintain their balance.

    There was a sudden commotion in the water at the boat's side, and what sounded like barking. An eardrum-shattering roar drowned out all other sound for several seconds, and then a large blue serpentine Pokémon rose from the water. The Gyarados bellowed again, stretching its jaws wide and throwing back its triple-prong-crested head. Carvanha was biting unsuccessfully at the eggshell underside of the beast.

    “Woah...” Archie murmured in awe.

    The Gyarados angled its head downward and a massive and powerful jet of water exploded from its mouth, sending Carvanha skipping helplessly across the surface of the water. Briney raced to the wheel, relieving Stern, and nosed the boat in the opposite direction, but the Gyarados clamped its jaws on the boat's stern and lifted the end out of the water.

    “Hold on to something!” Briney shouted. Steven reached over and grasped the railing as the boat angled ever higher. A short spray of water indicated that the propeller had been lifted from the water. Steven glanced downward, seeing the water falling away past the bow, and then realized he was now hanging by a single hand from the rail. He reached with his other hand, careful not to knock Baltoy off, and pulled himself upward, and wrapped his shoulder around the rail to gain a stronger grip.

    Then Steven felt a sickening drop. His stomach rose into his throat, and he was suddenly immersed in the murky water once more before the boat righted and he was lifted back up into the air. Stern hacked and spat up water.

    Steven looked up. The Gyarados was now glaring maliciously at them. Baltoy relaxed its grip on Steven's shoulder and covered its eyes with its flat hands for a second, and then turned to face the Gyarados.

    Steven immediately realized what the tiny Pokémon had meant. “Everybody cover your eyes!” he screamed, shutting his eyelids tightly and burying his face in the bend of his elbow.

    “Baaaal.... TOY!”

    Gyarados bellowed again, and Steven could hear it flailing and thrashing wildly. He chanced a look, and found the Gyarados's pupils had contracted to mere dots, and a white light emanating from Baltoy's body was fading.

    “Let's go!” Steven said, grabbing Baltoy.

    The Gyarados lunged blindly at the boat and missed completely, disappearing into the water. Then it resurfaced and dove at the deck again, but this time, Steven knew it wouldn't miss, even if it couldn't actually see the boat. The boat's motor growled back to life, but it wouldn't be fast enough.

    Then a leg fell firmly in front of Steven, and he saw Archie, a grimly determined look on his face, arms outstretched, jam his surf board into the Gyarados's mouth as it bore down on them. The Gyarados instinctively clamped its jaws shut, snapping the board in half and scattering splinters over the boat and the water, and jerked away, ejecting the other half from its mouth. A small stream of red liquid dripped from between it teeth, and Steven could see a gash inside its mouth, no doubt from the board splintering.

    Then the boat whirled around and they were sailing toward a chain of islands lining the western side of the route. The Gyarados roared behind them, and then disappeared a final time beneath the waves.

    A few minutes later, Briney spotted a hut on one of the islands, and nosed the boat toward it, coming safely aground on the soft, sandy beach. Almost instantly, a squat man wearing a tan pith helmet and matching jacket appeared in the hut's doorway and began jogging toward the boat.

    “Was it the Gyarados?” he shouted.

    Captain Briney solemnly nodded his head.

    The man's face melted into a grave expression. “You'd better come inside. It's getting dark and there's much to tell you.”

    The man turned and started back toward the hut. Briney, Stern, Archie, and Steven and Baltoy followed.

  9. #144
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    Restricted access just means you'll have to start writing on paper. :P
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  10. #145
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    Restricted access just means you'll have to start writing on paper. :P
    Pretty much. lol

    I used to, actually, before I began Transformers: Hellbound. Needless to say, I much prefer the computer.

    So, what did you think?

  11. #146
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    I liked the chapter though it felt a bit short or maybe not, point is I liked how you introduced Archie he seems completely different from the villain we meet in Ruby and Sapphire. I actually thought it was Brawly but I guess he's about Roxanne's age.

  12. #147
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    Thanks! Yeah, Brawly would be only five or so at this point. I wanted to introduce Archie because I felt he made the perfect "Big Guy" to go with Steven's "Hero", Wallace's "Lancer", and Winona's "The Chick". Three guesses who the "Smart Guy" is. :P

  13. #148
    I need beer money dammit! Rob Anybody's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    Let me guess: Birch?
    I don't calculate stat values, and I don't care about natures. I catch my Pokemon the way they are. I just play the game normally. If you agree copy & paste this in your sig.

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  14. #149
    Pwnin Noobs on Mt.Silver Pokemon.Master51's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    Hey man, just wanted to tell you this is a great piece of work ya got goin here ^^ Glad to tell you ya got another reader. I wasn't expecting the guy who saved Steven to be Archie to be honest, thought it would of been someone else :P.

  15. #150
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stainless Steel: Steven Stone's Adventures in Hoenn (Chapter 13 UP!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Rob Anybody View Post
    Let me guess: Birch?
    That's one. :P

    Thanks, Pokemon.Master51! I'm glad you like it!

    ALSO, for this week only, I'm throwing open a Q&A session for you guys. Feel free to ask me anything about the story, but do realize I won't be spoiling it for you. :P Please PM me your questions and I'll answer everything at the end of the week, along with a second chapter for the week. (The first should be up within the next day or two.)
    Last edited by Lugion; 19th December 2010 at 09:12 PM.

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