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  1. #1
    Even Rocky had a Montage AlphaMouse's Avatar
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    Default Snowpoint College

    A few notes:

    More than Seven Hundred years ago one of the very first Pokémon Academies was founded, the Snowpoint College. It was made by a Champion after an epidemic had wiped out half the Pokémon population and many Pokémon Knights (what we now call Trainers) had no Pokémon. He opened the Academy in the middle of the quiet Snowpoint city and it offered free education to the masses. The years went by and gradually fee paying members entered the community up to a point where only a small hard core of "scholars" remained being given free education.

    Red writing indicates Sam Hancock

    Black writing indicates Reece Enfield

    Light Blue writing indicates Derek

    I stepped out of his Mum's car, dragging out a bag. My brother, Simon, came out the other side. I walked around to the back of the coupé and opened the boot. There were four suitcases in the boot. Two were mine, two were my brother's.

    "This is Marble House, where your house is," Simon said to me. I was in my first year at the Snowpoint College and I had been placed in Eevee, where all the first years started. After that they would go into one of the senior houses for the remaining four years of their time at the school. Simon was in Jolteon where they prepared from ordinary jobs that involved Pokémon. I wanted to go into Flareon where they specialised in battling. It was one of the most popular of the Houses along with Jolteon and Vaporeon, where Co-ordinators went. I lugged my pair of suitcases out of the boot and wheeled them up to Marble House, where Eevee was. It was the original Boarding House, where once all students at Snowpoint would have gone to lived, going to school in the complex across the road. The building was impressive, with an old Greek facade of Corinthian collumns. Simon walked up to me.

    "I'll see you around I guess. The students' entrance is on the left of the main entrance. You'll find a massive sheet of paper with all the students names on them. See you, Sam!" he said before closing the boot and climbed back into the car. I walked round to find a wooden door, propped open by a stone. A group of people were gathered in the courtyard by the entrance, all chatting. I shuffled past them to a large notice on a wall where Simon had said our dorms would be listed. I looked for my name and found it.

    Munchlax

    Reece Enfield
    Derek
    Sam Hancock
    James Nanskin
    Morgan Drakovich


    I looked at the names around mine. Simon had told me that he had been in Lilipup. I wondered if it mattered at all or whether it was just a way to sort us out. Probably the latter. Someone nudged me out the way. He read the sheet, his finger falling on the name Reece Enfield.

    "So, I'm in Munchlax," he said to himself. He noticed me and turned to face me. "Which dorm are you in?" he asked.

    "I'm in Munchlax too. Shall we find it together? My brother said that the dorms were all on the first floor." With that we pushed a door open and trudged our way up the steps. Reece, as he confirmed his name to be, didn't have as much luggage as I did and helped me with my own. I remembered coming here to drop my brother off on his first day and was able to find my way to Lilipup. Luckily Munchlax was placed right next to it and Reece held the door open as I dragged my cases in.

    The dorm consisted of five beds arranged in two rows along the room. Each bed was slightly elevated from the floor so that one could leave their suitcases under the bed. Reece and I were the first people in the dorm. I quickly unloaded mine into the cupboard, using the same system that I used at home, and sat on the bed.

    "So, where are you from?" I asked Reece as he struggled with a pile of white shirts. He was tall, a good head taller than me, and very skinny, like he had been stretched.

    "I came from Kanto. My Dad went here as a kid and wanted me to come here too," he replied. My brother had said that people from far and wide came to Snowpoint just for the well-balanced education that they offered.

    "I'm from Sunnyshore City in Southern Sinnoh. My brother goes here too, he's in his third year," I explained. This raised an eyebrow from Reece.

    "Do you know what we do after unpacking?" he asked.

    "My brother said that we meet our mentors. They're second years who help us around the school for the first few weeks until we get used to it," I replied. We kept on talking for a while, listening to each other's stoies, laughing at their jokes. Our heads turned as the door opened.


    I walked along the passages of Marble House, looking for Munchlax Dorm. It was immature, really, to name dorms after Pokémon.

    I agree. Abra said inside my head.

    Shut up. There might be other Psychic-types in this complex. If they find out I've brought a Pokémon in here you'll be chucked out for sure. I replied. I swear that I could have felt the Poké Ball in my pocket flinch. Abra had been my companion for years and had been my only source of income in Snowpoint City. Thanks to him, I'd been able to pretend to be a Psychic to scam people out of their money. When that had failed Abra's Psychic powers had made him an excellent pickpocket. It had also been down to his training that I had passed the exam to get a full scholarship into Snowpoint College. I knew that with the proper education I had as much chance as any of these schmutts of getting a job. Once I had a good job I wouldn't have to sleep on the cold, icy streets of Snowpoint ever again. But the rules of the school were strict. You weren't allowed to bring in your own Pokémon under any conditions. So I had had to take Abra in secret. I nudged my rucksack further up my shoulder and carried on.

    I finally found Munchlax Dorm and opened the door. Inside I found a pair of boys chatting. One was slim and very tall, while the other a tiny bit shorter, a mop of brown hair covering his forhead. They stopped their conversation as I entered.

    "Hi, I'm Derek," I said. The shorter boy replied first, standing up as he did so.

    "I'm Sam, and this is Reece. Have you seen the other two about?" he asked.

    "No, I've just arrived," I replied. I set my backpack down on the one of the beds, pulling out my possesions. I set my toothbrush on the bedside table, my wallet in one of the drawers along and putting the rest under my bed.

    "Don't you have any clothes for tomorrow?" the tall boy, Reece asked.

    "My mentor's taking me to buy some today, as I couldn't get them outside of school," I replied. I was always a bit wary of telling the world about my poverty. I had been orphaned young and generally picked on because I had nowhere to sleep and no-one to stand up for me. I hoped that now because of my scholarship I'd be respected.

    "Oh, I see. Which House do you want to go into later on?" Sam asked.

    "I'm set for Glaceon." Glaceon was the scholars' house, where people could pursue any path that they wanted. The three teens talked for a while. I watched as Sam checked his watch.

    "Christ, it's quarter to four. They've been giving out our Starters for quarter of an hour by now," he exclaimed. He jumped up from the bed and left.

    "I guess we'd better go, I guess," Reece said before following his new friend.

    They seem nice enough, Abra said inside of his head.

    They do. I think that I'll make some good friends here, I replied.

    Do you think that we'll be on the straight and narrow here? The Pokémon asked.

    I hope so. I want a proper job and a house, not a permenant prison cell.
    Last edited by AlphaMouse; 3rd September 2012 at 11:00 AM.

  2. #2
    Even Rocky had a Montage AlphaMouse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Snowpoint College

    Chapter Two.

    I carried my plate of sausages over to the table, sitting down. Taillow sat on my shoulder, nibbling some Poffins that I had grabbed her. I had noticed that she prefered Spicy Poffins and disliked Sweet ones. I thought back to everything that had happened yesterday. We had all gone down to the Quad and received our Starter Pokémon that we had signed up for before arriving. I had got Taillow and played around with her for a while. I had followed Sam around for a bit and we had chatted to some girls. We had all been so excited about getting our first Pokémon. All of us, that is, except for Derek. He had just pocketed his Poké Ball before hanging around quietly with us. There was something to him that I couldn't quite place, a sort of air of suspiciousness about him. I wondered what he had done before coming here. I saw Sam come down on the bench beside me, a plate full of food in front of him. I really appreciated how kind he had been to me since he had met me. He was really confident, and I didn't expect him to want to have anything to do with me.

    "So, what do you think we'll have on today?" I as Sam sat down.

    "Well, the timetable says that we've got an assembly followed by double battling," my new friend replied. As we started to talk more people entered the dining hall, grabbing plates and loading them with food. Some people that they had met yesterday started to sit down at the table and Sam's attention turned to a girl called Sunny. I had always been a bit nervous around girls. I didn't know what to say and my conversations always ended awkwardly. I finished my breakfast and left to check the timetable.

    I sat in one of the hard wooden pews in Snowpoint's Chapel, listening to Dr. Jaffe, the Headmaster, lecture us.

    How long is he going to keep on speaking, even I'm bored in here. Abra asked, irritated.

    Not for long, I promise. I replied. I remembered the other Poké Ball in my pocket, containing my Machop, the Pokémon that they had given me officially. He had spent last night doing card tricks with the help of Abra. I had earnt my living doing such tricks and people easily believed what they wanted to. Reece Enfield sat beside me, shivering in the cold. He seemed nice enough, but had no confidence whatsoever. The speaker was dull and very few people were even concentrating. I couldn't wait until double battling, it seemed pretty fun. The congregation stood up as the organ began to sound. The older boys around me started to sing the school anthem, which was all in Ancient Shinou. Hell, this place was old.


    Finally the assembly finished and we were allowed to leave. I took out the Poké Ball containing my Litwick and felt it. I hoped that I could be a good trainer, but if that failed I could always get a job back home in Sunnyshore. My Father owned a Surf Wear manufacturing company and I was often used in his shoots. I had friends back there too, and my girlfriend. My brother said that I'd enjoy here though, and using my Dad's Pokémon I had more experience than everyone else here. I looked down at the map of the school, working my way to A Block, where Battling was supposed to be.


    To be continued
    Last edited by AlphaMouse; 25th September 2012 at 01:27 AM.

  3. #3
    Even Rocky had a Montage AlphaMouse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Snowpoint College

    Chapter Three

    I sat down at the wooden desk in A5, where my timetable had said that I was going. I recognised a few people from previously, including Reece and Sunny. As the teacher, Mr Harrowsfield, entered the classroom the sixteen teenagers stood up. The teacher took his seat and we followed suit. Mr Harrrowsfield looked about forty, wearing a tweed suit with a green tie. He had a kind face, with an almost bald forehead. From what I had seen here most of the teachers were at least greying, and Mr Harrowsfield was comparatively young. The ritual of the class continued from there, and we were given books, a folder and a textbook called, Pokémon Strategy. Mr Harrowsfield stood up.

    "This is your first lesson here, and I want to make it a good one. Luckily there are sixteen people in this class, a convenient number for a tournament. Let's go." With those words he stood up and the departed the classroom, followed by the whole of our set.


    Finally, a chance to do something. Abra said inside my head. As soon as Harrowsfield had said those words my day had lightened up. If were going to do a tournament I could show my battling ability. I had often had to fight for my life on the streets and a tame battle with a few first years would be a good chance to show this ability. I was slightly worried, however, as this would be the first time that I had used Machop in battle.

    The class came out onto a grass field. The area was about the same size as a football pitch and littered with battlefields. Harrowsfield turned around, staring at us.

    "Find yourselves a partner and do the first round. After that come back to me and I'll arrange the rest of the tournament," the old man said. I had occasionally seen him wandering around the streets of Snowpoint, going into old bookshops and chatting to old ladies. He didn't look like the sort of person who had ever had to live rough. But then, none of the other students looked like they'd done a hard day's work in their lives. He grabbed a boy who he had seen earlier and dragged him over to one of the battlefields. The boy released his Pokémon, a Geodude. This battle should be easy.

    "Go, Machop, use Low Kick!" I commanded. The Fighting type had a clear advantage and swept the Geodude off balance. At the boy's order Geodude made a rock and threw it at Machop.

    Some help please. I thought at Abra. The rock was forced over Machop's head by Abra's psychic powers. I feighed a surprised expression before ordering a Karate Chop. Machop leapt in the air before delivering the blow to Geodude's head. Victory was close, I could sense it.

    "Geodude, use Rollout!" the trainer commanded.

    Slow it down. I thought to Abra. The Rollout attack trundled along at a harmless place.

    "Machop, use Karate Chop again!" I commanded. Machop brought his hand against Geodude and sent it flying. The Geodude fainted, collapsing on the ground. My tactics had given me victory, and I was proud.


    I watched as Derek won his battle. His opponent didn't look very strong, and I hoped that mine would be similar. I stood at one end of the battlefield opposite the other trainer. It was a girl called Caroline. She was small and plump with small wisps of blonde hair.

    "Go Hoppip!" she shouted. She threw a Poké Ball and released what looked looked like a flying patch of nettles. I knew that Hoppip was a Grass type, which would make it a slightly easier job for Taillow.

    "Go Taillow! Use Wing Attack!" I called. Taillow leapt out of the Poké Ball and flew to the Hoppip, his wing glowing, The Hoppip rose on the wind currents, avoiding the attack easily. It then jumped on Taillow, sending its flight askew. He rescued his position, flying back around to Sam's position.

    "Try using Peck!" he ordered. The attack landed and sent Hoppip flying. This one attack seemed to tire Hoppip out a lot.

    "Use Wing Attack again!" Taillow flew towards the unstable Hoppip and smacked it with its wings. The Hoppip fell to the ground, fainted. Taillow had earnt me victory, and I was through to the second round.

  4. #4
    Unova's #1 Yancy fan Seizon Senryaku's Avatar
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    Default Re: Snowpoint College

    ...I'd highly recommend finding some way other than different-coloured text to distinguish between your characters. It makes your fic really difficult for people to read. For me on this skin, it's particularly the light blue, but it may differ for other users. If you must switch between first-person narrators, a *** and the character's name should do fine to tell them apart.
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  5. #5
    President of everything. Headless Whoreman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Snowpoint College

    Instead of color coding, maybe you should just use the standard quotation marks and naming who is speaking when they get done talking. It'd be easier on everyone's eyes, including mine, as the crystal blue really gives me a headache, and it would make the story look slightly more professional. I would also recommend making your chapters longer. Two pages in Microsoft Word is a good length, and it's one that I've seen most writers use. Being a bit more descriptive of what's going on would help too. If you just improve on it a little bit, this could be a very good story.

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