Skaraflame's Poetry Bank

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  1. #1
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Skaraflame's Poetry Bank

    So I've decided to write poetry. My poems are simple and complex at the same time.
    While it's easy to work out what it's about, some of them may have hidden meanings.
    I write poems with simple structures too.

    So without further ado, here are my poems!

    The Writer


    Cold Whisper


    My last verse
    Last edited by Branellope; 5th May 2011 at 01:06 AM. Reason: Added "My last verse"

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  2. #2
    Who am I? Joshawott's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Skaraflame's Poetry Bank

    First stanza of The Writer instantly reminds me of Story Teller "Professor Layton VS Phoenix Wright. I have to say, I liked the use of both internal-rhyming and end-rhymes, although it wasn't as consistent as the internal rhymes. Although, I felt that the poem focused too much on that technical stance rather than the story. Usually, I avoid stories in poems as it's hard to convey in such a short space, but another stanza really could have helped. Also, what about the phrase "The Pen is Mightier than the Sword"? This may be my English-Student past jumping to conclusions, but could the sword beating the pen be a rejection of the supposed reality, and thus, the 'truth' the writer tried to control?

    Cold Whisper is definitely a strong point, as well as having a rhyme scheme (albeit not as noticable as The Writer) it has the imagery to back it up. Especially the repetition of the blue flame, which is a rather unusual image indeed. The semantic field of cold is definitely there; but as with the previous poem, I felt that if you wanted to fit a story in there, it should have been a bit longer.

    EDIT: Just notice you posted it in the wrong area! Don't worry, the mods here are kind, so they should move it.

  3. #3
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Skaraflame's Poetry Bank

    Cheers Josh. When writing "Cold Whisper", I wanted readers to get a feeling of where the setting is. I also used colours carefully, I wanted different colours to give different feelings.

    With "The Writer", I wanted to write a fast-paced story based on an eccentric old man that the town feared.
    And I guess you're right with the whole "The pen is mightier than the sword" thing. It certainly fits :D

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

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    *rules with cotton fist* Kayi-chan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Skaraflame's Poetry Bank

    Your thread was in the wrong section. It has been moved now.

    Let this serve you as a warning for next time: the Workshop accepts all fiction in all forms (one-shots, chaptered stories, plays, poetry, songs, etc.), while the Block is exclusive for discussion topics.

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  5. #5
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Skaraflame's Poetry Bank

    Got it. Cheers mate.
    I'm actually working on two stories now.

    Looking for constructive criticism, I have a few ideas for poems.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

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