(SHIPPING) Fragile

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  1. #1
    Registered User
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    Jul 2005

    Post (SHIPPING) Fragile


    By Kawaii Cherry Blossom

    Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokémon, or the song ‘Fragile’ by Delta Goodrem. The rights to both are property of their respective owners.

    Rating: M15+ - Mature themes
    Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance
    Type: AAMRN

    Summary: Taking a break from Pokémon training, Ash returns to Cerulean City to spend some time with Misty. But as he catches up with his best friend, he learns that much has changed since he once knew her… Or did he?

    Ash – 18
    Misty – 18

    Chapter 1

    “Six thoughts at once, I can't focus on one
    Seven days a week but my life has just begun
    So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
    As I'm falling down I come undone…”


    I want to drive my fist into the mirror’s reflection. I want to. Come on Misty, do it. Do it!
    No. I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to.
    You have no choice. This is who you are.
    This is NOT who I am.
    This is who you are now.
    And with that, I am defeated, too weak to fight it, and I’m not sure that I truly want to anymore. I glance up at my reflection disgustedly once again, before turning away.
    A moment later, the melodious sound of the doorbell drifts through the gym, bouncing off each wall until it finds my ears. Nobody is home, and it could be a trainer, so I sigh and unwillingly lift myself from my bed, before unlocking my door and stepping into the hallway. I walk past the framed photos of my sisters and I, the cerulean blue walls and the painted images of various water Pokémon, and make my way towards the front door. My pace is slow, I hope that if I walk slowly enough the person at the front door will grow impatient and turn away, because the last thing I feel like doing right now is dealing with an over-confident Pokémon trainer that reminds me of Ash.
    But my hopes are washed away like the tide as the doorbell sounds once again, followed by a seemingly impatient knock. Yep, it’s definitely an over-confident Pokémon trainer that’s going to remind me of Ash… I force as interested a look onto my face as I can as I grasp the doorknob and swing the door open.
    I can feel my eyes grow wide as they set upon the tall figure that stands in front of me. His rich black hair is styled, though it still waves wildly in every direction possible, his chocolate eyes dancing with happiness and optimism. He’s no longer puny and scrawny, I note, as I notice the slight muscles showing underneath his black t-shirt, and he’s a few inches taller than me. Whoa.
    Well, at least now I know that I’m dreaming.
    “Hiya, Mist!” he says excitedly as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into an embrace.
    But wait, this seems so real…
    “A…Ash…?” I stutter, shock filling my quiet voice, and he pulls away, looking at me quizzically.
    “How are ya, Misty?” he asks, his eyes gazing questioningly into mine.
    “I’m fine… What are you doing here?”
    It’s not that I’m not happy to see him, in fact, I’m overjoyed. Just a little…shocked…
    Perhaps he has come to save me…
    No, you don’t need saving. You’re Misty Waterflower, and you’re strong, powerful. You don’t need anybody, let alone him. He’ll only drag you back in the wrong direction, make you weak again. You do what you do because it’s the only way. The only way.
    Right. The only way…

    The joy in his eyes seems to fade slightly, like a fire losing its intensity, as he asks, “What? I’m not allowed to come and visit my best friend?” I smile apologetically.
    “I mean, I wasn’t expecting you.”
    A serious look overpowers the mischievousness in his eyes, as he steps past me and into the gym.
    “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” he speaks. “And I was worried.”
    “Ash Ketchum? Worried about me?” I ask, and he looks somewhat hurt.
    “Of course I worry about you… I always do…”
    Yes, that’s the way. Everyone would worry about poor, weak little Misty Waterflower, who can’t take care of herself, who is good for nothing, who isn’t even worth life…
    “Misty?” his voice snaps me out of the dark hole I’d fallen into and brings me back up to the sun. “Are you alright?” Closing the door, a wave of anger takes over me.
    “Why wouldn’t I be? I can take care of myself you know,” I snap, and a concerned, shocked look immediately crosses Ash’s face. Realising my actions, I immediately correct them as I force a laugh and a smile.
    “I mean, of course I’m alright, Ash,” I say with as much vigour as I can, hoping and praying that he’ll believe it. He looks unsure. Very, very unsure. Damnit, I’m so stupid. Thankfully, he seems to brush his concerns aside, a smile returning to replace his doubt.
    “Let’s go sit down,” I suggest, changing the subject, before I lead him to the living room, and we sit upon the soft, blue couch, facing each other.
    “It’s so good to see you,” he says after he’s seated, and I smile shyly, feeling a blush creep onto my cheeks.
    “You too. So how’s things? What have you been up to?”


    Is it just me, or does Misty seem…I dunno…a bit spaced out? It seems as if she’s in another world… Strange…
    “Well, after the Hoenn League, we stayed with May’s family for a while and I did some training with her father at his gym,” I answer her question, flitting away my thoughts for the moment so she wouldn’t get suspicious. “After that, Max went off on his own Pokémon journey with May as his tutor, and Brock went home for a while, so I decided to take a break. I decided to come back home for a while. Just for a month or so, to have a rest.”
    “Wow, you taking a break? I’ve never heard of such a thing!” she teases, returning to her old self. Perhaps I’ve just been reading too much into things. Misty’s fine. And besides, when is Misty not fine?
    As by habit, I rub the back of my head with my hand shyly, and she laughs. God it’s so good to see her again. I would never admit to anybody how much I missed Misty when she wasn’t traveling with us. It’s a secret that only myself, Pikachu and my journal know, though I think Brock can read minds because I swear he knows as well.
    “And where is Pikachu?”
    “Well actually…he met this other Pikachu the other day, a female, and well…”
    “Pikachu’s in love?!” she asks, and I laugh.
    “Well yeah, I guess so…” I reply sheepishly.
    “That is SO cute!” she squeals.
    “Yeah, but a word of advice, don’t EVER tell him that. When I told him it was cute…well…let’s just say…owch…” The memory is painful, too.
    We both erupt into laughter, which lasts for a few moments, before it fades.
    I tear my eyes away from Misty as I realise I’m staring at her, but all the same, she was staring at me. An uncomfortable silence develops, the air so tense it could be cut by a knife.


    I want to hug him again. That felt so good, his arms around me, I felt so safe… I want to feel protected, sheltered, secure…
    But why should I deserve someone like him? I don’t deserve dirt. Not me. And besides, he could get any girl he wants, why would he pick me? I’m nothing, not beautiful, not spirited, heck, I’m probably the worst friend he’s ever had.
    Then why is he here? Does he want to stay? Can I handle that? What if he finds out? What if he abandons me?
    He should abandon me… I’m not worth his time…
    “So… How come you haven’t been in contact with us for so long? I mean, it’s been months…” Ash’s question slices open the silence that had engulfed us, cutting off my thoughts.
    “Oh, well, you know… My sisters went away again, so I’ve been in charge of the gym by myself…”
    “Really? Where’d they go?”
    “Australia this time. They said something about some place called the Gold Coast and getting a tan…” I reply, rolling my eyes slightly. My sisters, all they care about is the way they look.
    I laugh ironically as this statement leaves my mind, and want to kick myself for thinking it.
    “Oh, how cool,” he replies.
    “Yeah, it would’ve been, if they’d taken me with them,” I reply, and it sounds like I’m whining, but I don’t really care. Ash shrugs innocently.
    “Well, I’m glad they didn’t,” he says.
    “Why?” I question.
    “Because then you wouldn’t have been here when I came!”
    The oh-so-familiar warm feeling in my cheeks makes yet another appearance as his smiling eyes gaze into mine. I glance away shyly, but I can still feel his eyes on me.
    “Misty?” he asks gently.
    “I’ve really missed you…”
    He’s missed me? Really missed me? I look back into his eyes and search for the certainty that I seek to prove that he’s telling the truth. Sure enough, it’s right in front of me, but do I believe it? I have no doubt that I am head over heels in love with him. I accepted it years ago. But I also accepted that he would never feel the same way, and now more than ever, I believe this to be true.
    How can he love me, after all? How can anybody love me? Look at me. I’m disgusting, a disgrace to the human race. No, he could never love me…
    “I’ll get you a drink…” I reply hurriedly, before rushing out of the room and towards the kitchen, ignoring the faint feeling that washes over me as I do so.


    That was weird… Misty seems so nervous, and Misty is never nervous. I shake my head and lean back into the soft pillows that make up the back of the couch.
    Do I tell her? Do I just come out and say it? So badly, I want to reach out and squeeze her hand, tell her how much I love and adore her, and know that I’ll never have to be without her again. But what are my chances? Be honest, Ash, Misty is…well…sort of out of your league, isn’t she? I mean, look at her, she’s the most beautiful person…
    But then again, she was just blushing…
    I’ve always followed the path my heart has led me down. And it tells me that this is the right thing to do. Yes, this is the right thing to do. The right risk to take. I can’t keep this secret inside of me anymore…
    My confidence is interrupted, however, as I hear the sound of glass shattering, and something falling. Worry courses through my veins as I jump up and dash through the door that Misty had disappeared through a minute before.

    To be continued…

    Just a warning guys… This fic is going to get pretty dark… Please review if you have any comments. Thank you!

    Love and light,

  2. #2
    Java Girl Barb's Avatar Retired Staff
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    The Peach State
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    I liked the switching POV in the opening chapter. It'll be interesting to see how the darkness comes, considering Misty seems to have some self-esteem issues already. Very nicely written.

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2005

    Post Chapter 2 - The Only Way


    By Kawaii Cherry Blossom

    Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokémon, or the song ‘Fragile’ by Delta Goodrem. The rights to both are property of their respective owners.

    Chapter 2
    The Only Way

    “Sometimes I feel like I’m alone
    Sometimes I feel like I’m not that strong
    Sometimes I feel so frail, so small
    Sometimes I feel vulnerable
    Sometimes I feel a little fragile
    A little fragile…”


    I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, my fear overtaking me, as I spot Misty lying on the kitchen floor, her eyes closed, with fragments of what used to be a glass smeared around her.
    “Mist?” I call out her name softly as I kneel down beside her, being careful not to kneel over any glass. Her eyes are closed, but she’s breathing softly. It seems like she’s just…sleeping? Well, that’s a good sign, I guess…
    “Misty, can you hear me?” I touch her cheek gently, and she stirs slightly, but doesn’t wake up. What’s wrong? Is she sick? Is she not telling me something? No time to worry about that now, though. I should move her onto the couch…
    I sigh worriedly, before putting my arms underneath her and lifting her up, and I’m sure that right now, my face is extremely red, but I don’t care. I can’t help but notice, though, that she’s extremely light. Not that she was ever heavy…

    Laying her down on the couch, I sit beside her and glance down at her face, having decided that if she needs sleep, there’s no point waking her up. She really is beautiful. She hasn’t changed much over the years, still as pretty as ever. Her hair is longer though, and she doesn’t wear it up anymore. She’s wearing a touch of makeup, as well. Her sister’s influence, I’m guessing. It’s her clothing that strikes me as quite strange, however. She’s dressed in jeans and a baggy jumper, although it’s hot outside. I don’t have time to ponder it, however as she begins to stir. Her hand moves up to her head as her eyes flutter open, and for a moment she looks confused, before she shoots up.
    “Huh?” she cries, glancing around.
    “Mist, it’s alright,” I say as I lean forward slightly, putting my hand on her arm comfortingly. I don’t care that she can probably notice the blush spreading across my cheeks as I do so, I just want to know what’s wrong with her.
    “Oh…” she says quietly, calming down and laying back on the couch. “What happened?”
    “I don’t know…” I tell her. “I heard the sound of a glass being dropped, and you were in the kitchen on the ground. You fainted…”
    “Oh…” she glances away, looking uncomfortable.
    “Misty… Are you sick or something?” my tone is serious, and it’s making her very nervous, I notice.
    “N-no, I’m fine,” she stammers, but regains her composure and looks back at me with a slight smile. “I’m just a bit tired, that’s all. Running the gym by myself is a big job, you know.”
    How tired can she be to collapse? Surely, she knows how to organise her time so that she gets enough sleep… She does look tired, but… There’s something else. She’s lying, and I can tell. But I know better than to question her. The last thing I want is for her to get angry at me…
    I glance up at her, noticing that she looks as if she’s going to fall asleep again.
    “Maybe you should get some rest, then… I can look after the gym for you.”
    “No buts, Misty, you need sleep. You can’t be collapsing. What if I wasn’t here to help?”
    She doesn’t argue, I think she’s too tired to even attempt it. Instead, she lets her eyes close and falls back against me, leaning her head on my arm.
    “Don’t leave Ash…okay… Don’t leave me…”

    I wonder if I’m hearing things, and I glance down instantly, but she said it. What does that mean? Her voice sounded so innocent, so…delicate, like a child who needs reassurance.
    “I won’t…” I reply, but she’s already asleep, her breaths coming out softly and steadily as she lies against me.
    Something is going on here. I’m sure of it now. But what… She could be sick, that’s the most likely possibility. But why wouldn’t she tell me? I’m her best friend… She hasn’t contacted me in three months, which is very strange because usually we write at least once a week, and talk on the phone most nights. But every time I tried to call over the past few months, there was no answer. I even contacted Cerulean’s Officer Jenny, to check if something had happened, but she told me that the Gym was running as per normal.
    One thing’s for sure, though. I’m not going back to Pallet until I find out what’s wrong.
    What’s going on with you, Misty…?


    Where am I?
    Oh, I’m on the couch, I realise as I take in my surroundings, the sky blue walls and yellow roof telling me that I’m in the living room. A moment later, a recollection of thoughts drifts into my mind as I remember what happened earlier. And it must have been much earlier, since it’s dark outside.
    I wonder if Ash is suspicious.
    You idiot, Misty, of course he’s suspicious. You collapsed, for goodness sakes.
    Oh well, it will just take a bit of fake reassurance to turn his concerns around.
    But I want him to find out. I want him to find out so he can help me.
    No, I can’t be helped by him, only by myself.
    God…this is going to kill me...
    No it’s not. But wouldn’t you rather die than be the disgusting person you are now?

    Yeah, I would.

    Closing my eyes, as if in pain, I will my thoughts away, and my nose takes in a scent coming from the kitchen. Moments later, Ash appears in the doorway, his concerned eyes lighting up when he finds me awake.
    “Misty, hey. How are you feeling?” he asks, rushing over and kneeling down beside the couch.
    “Fine, thanks…” He smiles at that, and stands up. Good, he believes me.
    “That’s good to hear. I made you some soup. I’ll be right back.”
    “Oh, no, really, I’m not hungry,” I call out, but he keeps on walking, before he disappears through the kitchen door.
    Moments later, he reappears, holding a bowl. With careful concentration, he places it on the coffee table in front of me, and sits down beside me.
    “Ash, really, I’m not hungry…”
    “Don’t be silly, you have to keep up your strength. There’s nothing worse than feeling hungry, especially when you’re tired!”
    “Here,” he takes the tray and sets it on my lap.
    I can’t eat this; it’s full of sugar and fat.
    But I have no choice. If Ash finds out…
    I can always get rid of it later…

    Picking up the spoon, I notice Ash is peering at me worriedly.
    “What?” I ask, becoming annoyed. He looks away immediately, and stands up, smiling at me. I glance down at the soup, a sick feeling rising up in my stomach as I look at it. I can feel his eyes on me, so trying not to think about it, I dip the spoon into the liquid and bring it up to my mouth, before swallowing it slowly. I fake a smile up at him and push aside my thoughts.
    “When did you learn how to cook?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. He laughs sheepishly.
    “Brock taught me. Said it was about time I learned how to do things myself.”
    Smiling slightly, I glance back down at the soup, and knowing he’s still watching me, I take another small spoonful. He tells me he’ll be back in a few moments, and leaves the room, but I only half notice.

    It tastes so good… Food tastes so good… I’m aware, now, of how hungry I am. When was the last time I ate anything? This morning I ate a banana...

    No, I can’t do this. I can’t!

    But it’s too late, and I’ve finished the bowl before my thoughts have the power to protest.

    “Oh, you’re finished. Do you want another bowl?” Ash asks. I didn’t even notice him come back in the room…

    Yes. Can I have fifty more bowls please? As well as ten-thousand bags of chips, a million chocolate bars…
    Oh God, shut up Misty and shake your head, you idiot!

    Shaking my head, I move forward and place the tray onto the table. Though I feel shaky and unstable, I force myself to stand, and he moves forward instantly to support me.
    “Whoa, be careful.”
    “I’m fine, Ash. I just want to go to the bathroom,” I say, a little too much anger invading my voice, and he steps back and nods. I glance away from his worried eyes and want to cry, fall into his arms, plead with him to help me…

    But no, I can’t. I can’t. He’ll just ruin everything…

    Keeping myself steady, I move towards the downstairs bathroom. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it up the stairs… When I get inside, I push the door shut and make sure it’s locked. I turn on the radio in the shower and move towards the toilet, opening the lid and kneeling in front of it. I close my eyes, my emotions swirling in my head, a painful tornadoOh of thoughts. But no, this is the only way…

    Leaning over the bowl, I stick my fingers down my throat and feel the sick feeling rise within me, before I throw up what I just ate.

    This is the only way.
    This is the only way.

    To be continued…

    Just a quick note… I know the chapters are short, but they are meant to be. Short ‘n’ simple. ^^ Thank you for reading.

    Love and light,

  4. #4
    Java Girl Barb's Avatar Retired Staff
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    The Peach State
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    Misty has some serious control/self-esteem issues. But your short descriptions of what she's thinking are dead-on with respect to bulimia and how women suffer because of it.


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