Not my first fanfic, but the first one I've put on here. I'm trying not to make it very long, but that might not happen. More will come whenever I've got more to put. So, enjoy, and please tell me anything I can do better!
Banner by @jirachistar
Chapter 1 in this post
"And whatever you do, don't let yourself get caught! Do you remember what Lucario says you have to do if you are?" Shinx's mother, a Luxray, asked. It was the first time Shinx had been allowed out on her own.
"Yes, Mum," Shinx replied, annoyed that her mum was giving her a safety talk instead of letting her go. She was the youngest, and, at lv.2, the lowest levelled, of her friends, and she wanted to go and train, and try and perfect her Tackle attack, before swimming in the stream.
"Just be careful, okay?" her mum said. "I'm still not sure about letting you go and train first."
"Mum, I'll be fine! Humans coming and catching us only happens in scary stories!"
"Go on, then. Love you!"
Shinx ran out of the patch of grass that was her home, happy that she was finally free to go to some places without her mother watching her all the time. She ran until she got to the Training Rocks, rocks everyone living nearby practiced attacks on, where she started practicing Tackle. All the other Shinx had perfected it ages ago. Shinx hated being so far behind the others.
A few minutes into training, Shinx heard a noise. Footsteps. Loud footsteps.
“Who’s there?” she called. There was no answer, but the footsteps started to come straight towards her. “Bibarel, is that you?” Shinx asked, feeling slightly scared. When there was no answer again, Shinx decided to run. It was either one of her friends playing a trick, or something dangerous, and she didn’t want to take a risk. But before she could go more than a metre, a big shape appeared in front of her. What was it? she wondered. She followed the shape up with her eyes until she got to its head. She stopped, frozen with terror. It was a human! She tried to run, but the human sent out a Torterra, which blocked her path. For a second, she felt sad for the caught Pokémon, but when the human commanded it to use Leaf Storm and it started to attack, she just felt scared. Torterra was obviously a very powerful Pokémon, and Leaf Storm was a very powerful attack, so the attack could really hurt. Why had she ever wanted to be allowed out on her own? She saw Torterra’s Leaf Storm hurtling towards her, then everything went dark.
Shinx opened her eyes. She was curled up in some kind of circular container. She was starting to feel scared. What had happened? This wasn't anywhere she'd been before! Was she dead? Pokémon couldn’t kill other Pokémon. What had that human done? Had he killed her?
“Help!” she shouted. But nothing happened. At least she hadn’t been hurt by Leaf Storm. But how could she get out of here? And no-one had answered her call for help!
“Let me out! HELP!!” she shouted again, really scared now. She’d never been more than 50 metres from her home before, and now she was trapped inside a small metal thing!
Shinx was just starting to think she would be imprisoned forever, when there was a click, and she was suddenly dropping through a confusing mass of swirling red light. Then, just as suddenly, her surroundings returned to normal. And she wasn’t in the horrible tiny circular place anymore! Shinx was happy for a moment, but then she realised she still had no idea where she was. Looking around, she saw it was a forest. So many trees, she thought. It’s so… huge! And…
“Yaargh!” Shinx screamed. While she was still disoriented by the weird red light, she hadn’t noticed the human in front of her. She wondered what he was doing here and what the red and white object was that he was holding, but then realisation hit her. It was the same human from Training Rocks! And the red and white thing he was holding was the place where she had been trapped just a few seconds ago- a Poké Ball! She had been caught!
"Hey, it's okay!" the human said, moving forwards and trying to pick Shinx up.
"Get away from me!" Shinx shouted, turning to run, but the human caught her and put her on his lap.
"You don't need to be scared,” the human said, but Shinx didn’t agree. She was completely forgetting all of Lucario’s advice about not panicking if you’re captured, and seizing an opportunity to escape, but in the meantime, playing along with whatever the human wants so they trust you more, giving you more escape opportunities. Shinx struggled, trying to break free of the human’s grip.
“Let me go!” she screamed.
“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you! My name’s Lucas, I’m a Trainer, and you’re my Pokémon now, and we’re going to win loads of battles and have loads of fun together!” the human tried to reassure her again, but it didn’t work; Shinx knew from what Lucario had said that he was just lying to get her to do what he wanted, and calling her ‘my Pokémon’ just made her angry. But she was remembering Lucario’s advice now, so she forced herself to stop struggling, which seemed to please the human, because he patted her on the head.
“I still don’t really trust you. I’ll do what you want, but if you even think about not being nice I’ll stop being obedient, okay?” she said, sort of following Lucario’s advice.
“Oh, sorry, don’t you like that?” the human asked. Shinx thought that was an odd thing to say, she’d been expecting him to tell her she could trust him completely, or something. Then she realised he couldn’t understand her. That might make pretending to be nice easier, she thought.
The human stroked her back. She struggled for a moment, then remembered about playing along. This was going to be hard, she thought, if I have to not struggle every time.
“You’ll get to meet my other Pokémon later. But for now…” The human paused. Was he just going to let her go? Shinx wondered. But then she could just run off! Why would he do that? By the time she realised he was just getting out a Poké Ball, it was too late to run. “Return!” the human said, then there was that red swirly light again, and she was back inside the Poké Ball.
Re: Shinx's Story
I do like this concept! Wild Pokemon and the trauma one might suppose they would go through initially with being caught. The whole family dynamic for Pokemon in the wild, it's neat.
The beginning did seem a bit rushed. Take care to take your time on the setup. I promise, your readers won't get bored while you set the stage. The more time you take on the stage, the bigger the show can be.
I'm also a bit confused... "Completely forgetting all of Lucario’s advice about not panicking if you’re captured, and seizing an opportunity to escape..." Where was Lucario at any point?
Anyway, it's decent writing, and a good premise. Keep it up!
Re: Shinx's Story
Well done, that was really good!
Re: Shinx's Story
Next part everyone!!
I'm going to be a bit busy looking after a dog for someone next week, so it might be a bit of a long time before I put any more.
Shinx had given up yelling to be let out, because obviously the human was ignoring her, or couldn't hear her. She knew the sensible thing to do would be to get some rest, but she would never be able to get to sleep while she was imprisoned like this. So she just sat staring at the wall of the Poké Ball. The human had said she would be let out later, so maybe she would get a chance to escape then. But when was later? She had to get back home as soon as possible, because her friends would be so worried. She imagined their reaction when she didn’t turn up to go swimming, and her mum’s reaction to finding out she’d disappeared, and she suddenly felt really guilty. She shouldn’t have gone out on her own!
Her thoughts were interrupted by the red swirls. At least they meant she was coming out of the Poké Ball, but they were another reminder that her life was now being controlled by the human.
When the swirls stopped, she was in a field with a lake in the middle, surrounded by Pokémon. At first she was happy to see other Pokémon, but then she began to think of questions. Why was she here? Where was the human? He couldn’t have just freed her, could he? But then he spoke from behind her.
“Shinx, these are my other Pokémon, Torterra, Staraptor, Lumineon, Magmar and Gengar. You guys, this is my newest friend, Shinx!” Friend? Shinx thought. You wish! But she didn’t say anything.
"I'll leave you guys alone for a bit, then. Don’t fight or anything!" the human said, walking off.
"The human's seriously leaving us alone?" Shinx asked, surprised. "Doesn't he realise we'll run off as soon as we can?”
“Run off?” Ambipom asked. “Why on Earth would we want to do that?”
“Maybe because the human caught us and now he wants to use us as slaves, and send us into battle just so he can see us get hurt?” Shinx said, amazed that they could possibly think staying with the human was even an option to think about, and even more amazed that they could think it was actually a good option!
“What?” Magmar said in disbelief. “He does not treat us as slaves, he treats us as friends! And he sends us into battle to strengthen that bond of friendship, and to help us get stronger! I was given to him in a trade, and even I could see as soon as I met him that he’s one of the nicest people ever, even nicer than my old Trainer!”
“How can you think that! All humans are evil! Can’t you see he’s just using you? I’m going, before I get brainwashed like you guys!” Shinx tried to walk off, hoping that the human wasn’t watching, and that those stupid Pokémon wouldn’t stop her, but Gengar materialised in front of her.
“Where do you think you’re going? You insulted my Trainer, and you need to be taught a lesson!” He started a Shadow Ball attack, but Torterra jumped in front of him.
“Gengar, no! Let me sort it out!” she said. Shinx was starting to feel a lot less brave, as she knew from experience that Torterra could easily defeat her.
“Torterra, you’re not my Trainer!” Gengar shouted, annoyed. He hurled his Shadow Ball at Torterra instead, but it did hardly any damage. Torterra must be at a much higher level than Gengar, and Shinx could see how the fight would end. But Torterra didn’t attack back, or even attack Shinx, she said
“Violence is never the answer, Gengar! You need to learn that! Let me talk to her. Come on, Shinx. Why don’t we go over there,” she pointed to a log by the lake, “and talk this through?”
“Um, okay!” Shinx agreed, relieved that Torterra wasn’t going to hurt her for now, and wanting to keep it that way. She followed Torterra over to the log and jumped onto it. She didn't really think there was any point talking it through, because Torterra would never be able to convince her that the human was actually nice, and not just acting, and she was pretty sure she couldn’t wake Torterra up to what humans were really like, but if they had to talk, at least she would be in a comfortable position, curled up on the log.
“So, Shinx.” Torterra said. “Why do you think of Lucas as evil?”
“He’s a human! All humans are evil!” Shinx said, still wondering why none of the human’s Pokémon realised that.
“Okay, then let me rephrase the question. Why do you think of humans as evil?”
“Because they are!”
“But why do you think they are? What’s your proof that you’re right?”
“Lucario says so!”
“And how do you know Lucario’s right?”
“He’s Lucario! He’s a Shiny! He’s always right!”
“So you only believe him because he’s a Shiny?”
“Yes! And he’s always right!”
“Shininess just means a Pokémon is a different colour to the rest of their species. It doesn’t mean they’re any more intelligent than a normally coloured Pokémon, and it definitely doesn’t mean they’re always right.”
“Once, he predicted a flood and told us to move to higher ground in time!” Why was Torterra being so stupid? Shinx thought.
“If it rains enough, of course there’s going to be a flood! It doesn’t take a genius to work that out. Lucario has obviously had a bad experience of humans, but bad people are the exception, not the rule!”
“Why don’t you want to admit that the human’s using you? Magmar might have an argument for some things, but I’ve got another one that you can’t answer. He keeps us imprisoned in tiny metal rooms! How is that being nice?”
“I actually quite like it inside my Poké Ball. It makes me feel safe. And I’m pretty sure the others would agree with me. And please don’t call Lucas ‘the human’, it’s disrespectful, and everyone will get confused about which human you mean! His name’s Lucas.”
“I can call him whatever I want!” Shinx yelled. She was still annoyed that these Pokémon could think of a counterargument to everything she said, and she really needed to yell at Torterra about something.
“Fine, but expect people to get really confused. Oh, look, Lucas is coming back. With food! I expect you’re probably hungry. You’ve had a long day.”
Torterra was right, Shinx was really hungry, but she wasn’t going to eat anything the human gave her, because maybe that was how he was brainwashing Torterra and the others into thinking he was nice, by putting drugs in their food!
"Hey, guys!" the human said. "Dinner!" He put bowls of brown food down on the ground next to the lake. "And you can drink from the lake, is that okay?” The Pokémon nodded, and so did Shinx. The human couldn’t poison a whole lake!
Shinx walked over to the food, and ate some, but she didn’t swallow, even though it tasted really nice. Instead she went over to the lake and spat it out while pretending to drink. She kept repeating the process, and it seemed to fool the human, because he came over and took the bowl without telling her off. But Shinx knew she had to find a Berry tree or something soon, because not eating meant she would get really hungry.
“Okay, guys, time to get back on your Poké Balls!” the human said, pulling everyone’s Poké Balls off his belt. “Return!” All of the other Pokémon vanished in a glow of red light, but Shinx was still there. She saw that the human wasn’t holding her Poké Ball, it was still on his belt. Obviously he wanted to talk to her.
“I’m going to answer some yes or no questions. You can answer by just nodding or shaking your head, okay?”
“Um, okay?” Shinx replied uncertainly.
“I’ll assume that was a yes. It’s kind of annoying not being able to understand Pokémon language, but this question thing helps me. Here we go, then! Are you enjoying travelling with me so far?” Shinx nodded. She wondered if she was going to have to lie for all the questions.
“That’s great! Next question: Are you getting on okay with my other Pokémon?” Shinx nodded again. Apparently she would have to lie about everything, she thought.
“Great, I knew I could rely on them. Are you ready to start training tomorrow?” Another nod, but this time it wasn’t a lie. If the human could help her get stronger, this ‘experience’ might not be completely bad.
“Do you miss everyone back home?”
“Whuh?” The question surprised Shinx for some reason. With some effort, she shook her head.
“Really?” Shinx nodded.
“You can’t possibly not miss anyone back home! Are you really telling the truth? You must miss something about your home, yes or no?” Shinx decided to nod. Lying about this question would just be too hard. She missed everything about back home!
“Do you want to go back there sometime?” Shinx nodded, without really knowing why. The human would probably use her answers against her somehow, so she should have said no.
“Okay, we’ll visit sometime. Good! Now, return!” he said, pulling Shinx’s Poké Ball off his belt and clicking the button. But Shinx dodged the red light. She’d put up with everything so far, but no way was she going back into that place.
“Shinx, return, please!” The human clicked the button again, and Shinx only just jumped out of the way in time. She didn’t know how long she could keep dodging for. Was it really worth it? The human would get her in eventually. But then she was surprised, because the human asked
“Do you want to stay out of your Poké Ball? Yes or no?” Shinx nodded, wondering what the human was planning.
“Okay, then. I’m going to have to make a cage, though, because I know you still don’t like me that much and I would be so sad if you ran off!”
Lucas had made Shinx a large wooden cage, and put a blanket in it. Shinx was wondering why Lucas had done this for her. In fact, he’d only ever been nice to her, and he’d seemed genuinely pleased that she’d said she liked travelling with him. Could Torterra be right? Could Lucario possibly be wrong?
No, of course not. Lucario was never wrong. Lucas was just trying to make her like him, to turn her into a slave. Being nice was just a plan.
She was calling him Lucas! Why was she doing that? It was because of what Torterra had said about confusing everyone by calling him ‘the human’. The respect thing was just an unwanted side-effect. That was what Shinx told herself. But in her heart she knew that wasn’t completely true.
Re: Shinx's Story
So, I've finally done the next part! Sorry if there are any huge mistakes in it, I've been feeling really tired and I sometimes do things like that when I'm tired. This part I just wanted to do an adventure story. So, here's I think my longest part yet:
Shinx stretched out, yawning, on the grass without opening her eyes, like she did every day. But, hang on, this wasn't grass! Shinx thought. What was- She opened her eyes and groaned, remembering where she was. But she was still glad she’d been allowed out of her Poké Ball. But when was she going to get a chance to escape? Lucas had let her sleep in here because he could see that it would please her, so if he could see how unhappy she was, couldn’t he just let her go?
No, she reminded herself. Stop dreaming. She’d been acting like she enjoyed everything that happened. And yelling all the time and trying to run off at every opportunity wouldn’t work anyway, because Lucas would never just release her. She would just have to wait for an escape opportunity.
Shinx was just settling down to go to sleep again, because the colour of the sky told her it was about 6am, and Lucas was still asleep, when there was a weird noise. It was music, but Shinx couldn’t work out where it was coming from. It woke Lucas up, and he seemed to know where it was coming from because he reached to the side of his sleeping bag, where there was a small black thing. He picked it up and pressed a button on it, which made the music stop. Then he lifted it up to his ear, and started talking.
Now it all made sense to Shinx. The human was mad! All that being nice stuff… he was probably thinking she was another human! And now he was talking to a non-existent person! She had to get out of here, because he could realise she was a Pokémon, not a human, at any point!
Shinx started throwing herself at the bars of the cage, but then she heard a sound from behind her. She turned around, feeling scared and very vulnerable, trapped inside a cage.
It was a Pokémon. A Skuntank, perfectly capable of knocking her out with a single move. She was about to cry for help, even though she didn’t know who would help her, when the Skuntank spoke.
“Quiet!” it hissed. “You’re not very good at that, are you? It’s good those bars are wooden, otherwise the human would have looked over here and I would have had less chance of rescuing you. Now, do you want to get out of there?”
“Umm, yes,” Shinx answered. Was this Skuntank a friend?
“Okay, stand back!” Skuntank whispered, as he gripped one of the bars with his teeth. There was a quiet snapping sound, and Skuntank stepped back with a bar of the cage in his mouth. He put it down on the ground, then repeated the process with another bar. The hole was now wide enough for Shinx to squeeze through, so she did. As she walked off with Skuntank, she heard the human saying
“Team Galactic? What do they want here? Okay, I’ll be careful. Thanks, Officer!”
Shinx was really happy she’d found a formerly Trainer-owned Pokémon with the same views about humans as her. Obviously only some of them were brainwashed, because she was going with Skuntank to meet a whole load of Pokémon that had escaped from humans, and they now helped other Pokémon to escape. She was so excited, because Skuntank had said they would help her get home! Maybe one day, when she was older, she could come back to these Pokémon, to help out rescuing other Pokémon in her situation. It would be great to help other Pokémon out like that, but she was scared it was going to be a bit dangerous. What if she got caught again?
“We’re here!” Skuntank announced. They had stopped outside what looked like an office. Shinx could see people moving around inside through the windows. Skuntank led her through a hole in the wall and down some steps into a dark room. Once her eyes had adjusted to the light, she saw it was an unused cellar. Then she saw a movement. The other Pokémon?
“RUN!” Skuntank yelled, and dashed past Shinx. After she had worked out that there was a human in the cellar, she tried to follow, but she was too slow and the human caught her. She felt something brush against her and tried to struggle, but she suddenly felt really tired, like a Pokémon had just used Sleep Powder. She just had time to realise the human must have pricked her with Sleep Powder dust, before she fell asleep.
A huge, yellow monster was standing in front of Shinx, holding a Poké Ball, which got bigger as she watched until it was the size of an average human house. The monster then used the house-sized Poké Ball to trap Shinx, but it was taken off again almost instantly and she was in a white room. Lucas was standing near the doorway holding what looked like a black bowl, which he put on Shinx’s head. It attached to a collar around her neck, then he said, “It’s okay, this won’t hurt a bit. This machine is how I brainwash my Pokémon into thinking I’m actually nice. As if a nice human could ever exist! We’re going to have so much fun together, Shinx!”
Shinx opened her eyes, glad that what had just happened had only been a dream. Maybe everything that had happened since yesterday had been a dream! Maybe she’d never been caught in the first place, and she was back home with her friends!
But then she looked around her. She was in a room with Poké Balls lining the walls, imprisoned in a tiny metal cage, much smaller than the one the human had made her, with only just enough room to turn around. She realised she was calling Lucas ‘the human’ again. Well, he deserves it, she thought. She definitely didn’t respect him at all now. Who would respect someone who talked to non-existent people?
Shinx wondered if Skuntank had got away. She was pretty sure he’d got out of the way of the first human, but what if there was another one waiting outside?
She remembered why she had gone to that room in the first place-because she’d gone to meet some Pokémon who could help her get back home! She hoped they were okay, but she had a feeling at least some of them would have been captured, because when the human came down the cellar steps, because that was probably what had happened, they would have either tried to run past or been cornered. She had to get out of there and help them! Actually, she had to get out of there anyway, but she could help them at the same time. And possibly free the Pokémon in the Poké Balls on the walls as well!
She looked around, wondering how she was going to get out. She noticed some people in weird uniforms sitting at a table. Probably guards, Shinx realised. As if escaping wasn’t hard enough already! Then she noticed a glinting object on the table. She tried to look at it more closely, wondering what it was, and realised it was a key! But she had no idea if it was the key to her cage or not, and even less idea how to get to it. The guards would notice if she started trying to push the cage by jumping against the bars. Shinx wished she had some string, because maybe then she could somehow throw one end of the string over to the table and get it to wrap itself round the leg, then pull herself…
YOU DON’T HAVE A PIECE OF STRING! Shinx mentally yelled at herself.
She kept thinking of ideas, but all of them involved an item she hadn't got, or needed a way to trick the guards into letting her out, and she still hadn't come up with anything even slightly possible half an hour later, when a human walked in. She was dressed in a similar outfit to the guards, but was obviously a higher rank than them, because they jumped up and saluted. The human picked the key up off the table and started to walk towards Shinx’s cage, making her more scared with each step. Then the human opened the cage door and grabbed Shinx before she could do anything more than think about escaping.
Well, it was never going to be that easy, Shinx thought. These people were clearly professionals.
The human clipped a rigid blue collar onto Shinx, and she felt a sharp pain in the back of her neck. She just had time to realise it was the same Sleep Powder potion from earlier, before she sank into a deep sleep.
Shinx didn’t dream this time, and she woke to find herself in a room with lots of different pieces of equipment of some kind dotted around. On one wall there was a huge screen with a moving picture of a human on, which the human from earlier was talking to. Shinx had seen so many odd things over the last few days that this didn’t surprise her very much. The screen human must have noticed Shinx looking around, because he said,
“Ah, Commander Jupiter, your Shinx appears to have woken up at last. Go and start your tests at once, this plan has had enough delays already!” Commander Jupiter must be the human, Shinx realised. She was scared what ‘tests’ the human meant.
“Yes, sir!” Commander Jupiter replied, and the screen went blank. “Come on, then, little Pokémon,” she said, turning to Shinx. “Show me what you can do! Let’s start with a Spark attack on that wire!” She pointed to a wire sticking out of the wall.
Shinx decided to run for it. She didn’t know, and didn’t really want to find out, what would happen if the human found out she couldn’t use Spark, and there was a tiny chance the door wasn’t locked. She made it all the way to the door without the human even trying to stop her, but when she jumped up and managed to pull down the handle, she found it was locked. Then she felt a gentle pressure on her throat. It gradually got worse and worse, until finally it stopped. Shinx realised the human was controlling the collar she’d clipped onto Shinx earlier. At least the spike had disappeared.
“That’s what will happen every time you disobey me, and next time I might just decide not to stop! So, use Spark now!”
“I can’t use Spark!” Shinx moaned, knowing that the human couldn’t understand her, but panicking because she could feel the collar slowly getting tighter.
“Use Spark!” the human commanded. Shinx realised she had to try. And, just maybe, she might actually be able to do it! But probably not. She curled up, like she’d seen the other Electric-types do, and tried to access her inner store of electrical energy. That energy gave a boost to an Electric-type move, so maybe she would be able to launch a low-power Spark just with that energy. She straightened, and pushed the energy out, but absolutely nothing happened. Shed did feel the pressure on her throat ease slightly, though, which meant she’d convinced the human that she really couldn’t use Spark.
“I could tell that you were weak as soon as I saw you, but you can’t even use Spark? Fine, I’ll measure the strength of your Tackle now. Only a really weak Shinx wouldn’t be able to use Tackle. Tackle that board over there!” the human said.
Shinx knew what was going to happen next. Every time she tried to use Tackle she managed to hurt herself more than her opponent. But she had to try, because of that stupid collar. What she was meant to do was run towards the board and turn sideways at the last minute, slamming into it with her side, but she always turned slightly too early or too late. This time it was too late, and she hit the board, not very straight, with her shoulder. She couldn’t help crying out- that had hurt!
The human was walking towards Shinx, looking cross.
“The boss won’t like this, it’ll delay our plans even more. Come here!” She shouted the last part at her wrist, for some reason, but people in the same uniform as the guards who’d been guarding her earlier came rushing in anyway. Shinx wondered how they could have heard- she’d thought this room was practically soundproof. Then she realised it might have something to do with that thing on the human’s wrist. Maybe it was some way to talk without being next to each other? But now the human was talking to the others.
“Take that thing away, it’s useless.”
“But, sir, what should we do with, um,” The human talking looked over at Shinx. “her?” Shinx was grateful to the guard for not calling her ‘it’. That made him an exceptionally nice human.
“Oh, drown it, or something. And until then, put in one of the wooden cages, I need the metal one and it won’t even be able to use Tackle to break free.” Drown me? Shinx thought, panicking.
“No! Someone, help!” she shouted, even though she knew it wouldn’t do any good.
“Sir, isn’t drowning her a bit extreme? Couldn’t we just release her back into the wild, or something?”
Wow, Shinx thought. This has got to be the world’s nicest human! Please say yes!
But all the guard got from the other human was a blank stare.
“Um, sorry, sir!”
“Out of my sight! And take that thing with you! And no trying to rescue it, or I’ll kick you out of Team Galactic, understand?”
Shinx had a plan. She was going to wait until the ‘nice’ human was guarding her by himself, then try using Tackle on the wooden bars of the cage. She could see a ventilation shaft which she could probably jump to once she got out. At the moment, the ‘nice’ human and another guard were chatting. Hopefully the second guard would go soon.
Being locked in a cage had given her time to work things out. She’d realised that Team Galactic was the thing that Lucas was talking about to the imaginary person, and that he was talking into something he’d been holding up by his ear, sort of like the horrible human yelling at her wrist, so maybe he wasn’t mad after all! She’d also realised that now she didn’t have an explanation for why he’d been being nice to her. She’d thought about the idea that he actually was a nice person towards Pokémon, but that was impossible, even though she sort of wished it wasn’t.
At that moment, the guard who’d been talking to the ‘nice’ guard got up and left the room.
Now was Shinx’s chance. There were so many things that could go wrong. She’d never managed to pull off a successful Tackle, and it was going to be harder with no run-up, and even if she got out of the cage she might not make it to the ventilation shaft in time, but she had to try. It was now or never. She started to count down inside her head.
3… 2… 1… GO!
Re: Shinx's Story
Great Fic. In terms of improvement, Lucario? We know nothing about him.
Re: Shinx's Story
Lucario will appear later.
Originally Posted by Space Core
Re: Shinx's Story
Is this why your trying to get a shiny riolu?
Originally Posted by shayminrules
Re: Shinx's Story
Nope, that was a compete coincidence!
Originally Posted by jirachistar
Re: Shinx's Story
So, finally finished the next chapter!
Shinx closed her eyes and jumped at the bars of the cage. There was a snapping sound, and she opened her eyes to see parts of the bars lying around her. She had done it! But she couldn’t celebrate yet, there was still the guard to worry about. She started to run as fast as she could towards the ventilation tunnel, aware that, to her left, the guard was getting up and starting to chase after her. Just a couple more steps!
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the guard make a desperate leap at her. She tried to jump out of the way, but she was too slow and she felt his hand close around her foot, bringing her crashing down onto the floor. Shinx struggled, trying to yank herself free, but the human was just too strong.
“Let me go! LET ME GO! Just let me go, please!” she shouted, desperate.
Shinx was starting to cry. She was going to die, she was never going to see her friends and family again, she was never even going to see Lucas and his brainwashed Pokémon again! She would give anything even just to be back with Lucas!
Shinx felt the human’s grip on her ankle loosen slightly. Confused, but obviously still wanting to get away, she tried to pull her leg free again, and it worked! She jumped up into the square metal tunnel, ran a few metres, and stopped to catch her breath.
She’d been hoping that that guard might let her go, that was why she’d chosen to make her escape attempt while he was her guard, but she’d never thought it would actually work.
She felt slightly guilty about not helping him in some way, because he would almost definitely be punished in some way for letting her escape, but she couldn’t think of anything she could have done, and anyway, he was a human. Why had he ever been nice to her in the first place? Humans were never just nice for no reason.
A horrible thought occurred to Shinx. What if this whole thing was a trap? In that case, she had to get out of here as fast as possible, and hope the humans didn’t have time to start what they were planning. But, she remembered, she also had to rescue those Pokémon that were part of Skuntank’s group!
Even though all Shinx wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep, because all this escaping was a bit tiring and really stressful, she knew she had to keep going, or the humans would eventually find her. She got up and started running along the tunnel until she came to a fork. She listened for a moment, and heard faint voices coming from, she thought, the left tunnel. Voices, she thought, might be talking about where Skuntank’s friends were, or, even better, be in the room with them. But she couldn’t decide whether to follow the voices and spend more time in the tunnels, or get out as fast as she could and not help the others. It was a hard choice, but she knew what she was going to do.
Shinx set off down the tunnel on the left, hearing the voices getting slightly nearer. She had chosen correctly! Then she came to another junction. This time she was sure the voices were from the left, so she dashed into that tunnel.
A little way along, the tunnel started to get slightly narrower. Shinx had to squeeze past a pipe she could have got past fine just a few minutes earlier. And it looked like, further on, it was even narrower! Shinx hoped she didn’t get stuck.
There was a square patch of light just in front of Shinx. She was having to shuffle along on her belly now. She was just half a metre away. Quarter of a metre… 10 centimetres… and she was finally there!
Shinx blinked rapidly for a few seconds because the room was so bright compared to the dark tunnel she’d just been squeezing through. When her eyes could stand the light, she looked down at the room she’d discovered.
It seemed to be some kind of office. The horrible human who’d told the guards to drown Shinx was sitting in an armchair, staring at a huge screen on the wall. The man who’d been on the screen in that horrible testing room was on the screen here now.
“Commander, I put you in charge of this mission because I thought you were capable enough to handle it. That’s twice your plan has failed now. This is your last chance, or I will demote you and put Saturn in charge of the mission. And make sure you successfully get rid of the evidence, we don’t want it to go and inform the police.” ‘The evidence’ meant her, Shinx realised.
“Understood,” the horrible human said, and the man on the screen vanished.
The human that was actually in the room reached one hand over the side of the chair furthest away from Shinx, and moved it as if she was stroking something. A Pokémon? Shinx wondered. But the human would never actually be nice to a Pokémon, would she? And now she was talking to whatever it was.
“Don’t worry, darling, it’s not your fault. I should have known it would be impossible to recruit a Pokémon that had been Trainer-owned for more than a couple of days. We’ll have to try and find a strong wild. Or a weak one and train it ourselves. But obviously that would be way too much bother.” That made absolutely no sense at all, Shinx thought.
The human reached down to whatever it was that was next to the chair, picking it up and at the same time bringing it into Shinx’s view.
It was a Pokémon. More precisely, it was a Skuntank, and Shinx realised sadly it was the Skuntank that had helped her to escape from Lucas. Shinx started to try and think of ways to repay the favour by rescuing him, but then she noticed that he actually didn’t seem to mind being held by the human. She wondered why, because he’d agreed with her that all humans were evil. There was so much about all of this that didn’t make sense.
Then she was hit by a wave of realisation so powerful that she would have fallen over if she’d been standing up. All of this had been a trap! Skuntank had convinced her to come along with him just so the humans would capture her! She was such an idiot for trusting him! And now, she was on a rescue mission for Pokémon that had never existed!
Shinx stared to wriggle backwards down the tunnel, hoping she would be able to turn around soon. She kept wriggling until she found a grate that she vaguely remembered passing on the way to the voices. Now people were sitting on a bench underneath the grate, chatting. Shinx stopped to listen, wondering if they knew about her escape yet. They didn’t seem to be talking about much, but just as Shinx was starting to shuffle away, someone came running up, shouting about a base-wide alert. Shinx thought this was probably about her, so she started quickly shuffling again.
She’d only gone about a metre when she heard a loud clanging sound. She’d edged into the pipe she’d gone past earlier, and broken it. She only just had time to register that fact before she was hit by a wave of icy water from the burst pipe, which washed her down the tunnel, and deposited her just after the grate the humans had been sitting underneath. The water was pouring out of the grate, probably onto the heads of the humans underneath, who would probably report their shower straight away, which meant she had to get away before someone came to investigate, which meant going back into that freezing torrent of water. It had slowed down a bit but it was still gushing out fast. She could just wait until the container the water was stored in was empty, but by then she might have been discovered.
Shinx took a deep breath and dived into the torrent. The water felt even colder than before, and even though she was waving her legs frantically, Shinx got pushed back immediately, landing on the grate with a thud.
Then there was a scraping sound, and Shinx felt the grate she was on wobble. It was going to fall, she realised, alarmed, but before she could do anything about it, the grate made another scraping sound, and Shinx was tumbling through the air.
Shinx landed on one of the guards’ laps with a splash. She was to daze to try and run before the human grabbed her. Shinx knew she would probably be taken straight to the horrible human. She’d tried her hardest to escape, but in the end the humans had won, like they always did.
I don't like that ending, but I couldn't work out how to do it any better!
Re: Shinx's Story
You need to add more to this story. I like it!
Re: Shinx's Story
1 month and 2 days since my last post here. And I've only done a very small amount of writing (for the reasons why, PM me to get a very long list). But I'll put it on here anyway, because I haven't put any on for forever. And it's got a pretty good ending.
So, here's my VERY short Chapter 5.
“What’s that?” the human whose lap Shinx had landed on asked.
“It looks like a drowned Rattata!” his friend commented.
“No it doesn’t, you idiot, it’s too blue!”
“Um, it’s a figure of speech.”
Shinx realised describing the two humans as friends wasn’t exactly correct. The second human was actually scared of the first! Maybe there were some humans that were actually mean to each other, not just to Pokémon!
The second human was talking again.
“I, um, know what it is! It’s that Shinx that was meant to be drowned!”
“I knew that, I was just about to say so when you rudely interrupted me!
But, oh, Max is going to be in so much trouble when the Commander finds out it’s escaped!”
That confused Shinx. She’d thought the horrible human knew about her escaping. If she didn’t, then why was there a base-wide alert?
“You haven’t even suggested taking it to the Commander now? That’s the most obvious thing to suggest, and you didn’t suggest it? You’re even stupider than you look!”
Shinx was hating this human more and more with everything that he said. She was sure if the second person had suggested going, the first human would have told him off for saying something obvious.
“Come on, then, before that kid comes this way!”
The human lifted Shinx up in a way that twisted one of her front legs round, hurting her enough to distract her from thinking about what the human had meant about ‘that kid’, and making her cry out.
No, don’t shout, it’ll just draw attention, she told herself.
Shinx heard a faint noise. She tried to listen carefully, and turned her head round to see if she could see what was going on. After a few seconds, she worked out it was footsteps.
Great, she thought, turning back round. More people coming to escort her to the horrible human.
She carried on listening to the approaching footsteps, not because she was interested, but because it was something to do, and it took her mind off her leg, which was still being held in an unnatural position.
At least, it wasn’t interesting until she heard a very familiar voice calling her name.
Re: Shinx's Story
is that the last chapter?
Re: Shinx's Story
Originally Posted by jirachistar
I'm currently thinking there will be 8 or 9 chapters.
Re: Shinx's Story
well get on with it then! ;)
Originally Posted by shayminrules
EDIT: woo! you put my banner on! yay!