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  1. #241
    Banana eating Gengar GengarEatBanana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Great story so far. Keep it up.
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  2. #242
    User #50,000 Mr Metagross's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    I've finished Chapter 10 and, as ever, I love it. I can't offer any more advice except to keep doing what you were doing, and:

    “A storm's brewing, but is it heading this way?”
    I LOVE this quote! There's something beautifully philosophical about it.
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    #YEEZUS Ultra Pidgeot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Hot damn. I finally managed to get caught up and all I can say is wow. What a great story. I will definitely keep reading this,

  4. #244
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Prologue - Chapter 4

    I really like the plot of setting a tournament and preparing something for the next arc. I think you did a good job in this one, but that mixture kind of left some plot twists that could have been used pointless. The fact that you're setting everything up for the next chapters is really great. The progression is good as well, and it all makes sense to be happening in that order, though I don't understand why Cynthia would want to enter a league.

    Characters are slightly different. I like Samia and his approach of everything, but I felt that Alanah was very unreal. She seemed forced into the plot, and trying too hard to be categorised as the villain. Natasha defiantly needs some more "screen time", unless you didn't plan her having a big part. I also think it would be very needed if there was some sort of flashback to actually see Samia's relationship with his grandfather rather than merely describing his emotions.

    There were a few mistakes here and there, and some of them did seem a bit odd, and made me lose the flow of the story, but it could be because English isn't my first language, and that also made me struggle with some sentences.

    I did find it odd that Samia cared so much about his Pokémon, yet didn't give them as much attention as he gave Absol.

    You might've dealt with these issues in upcoming chapters, but I'm just judging by what I've read so far. I'll read more whenever I have the time.

  5. #245
    Fanfic Writer some colour no doubt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Chapter 11
    Initiate Johnson




    Samia awoke from his slumber, refreshed from the strain of his recent travels. He opened his eyes and surveyed the unfamiliar room in which he was residing. The single bed he was in was comfortable, but not overly so, and the blue covers were draped over his prone form, keeping him warm. The rest of the room was, in short, unremarkable, with no real blazing features. The walls and floor were the same drab metal as the rest of the bunker. On the floor lay his black suitcase.

    Sitting up, Samia looked over to the door. By the foot was a brown package, along with a tray containing what was presumably breakfast. Swinging his legs out of bed Samia walked over, the metal floor cold to his bare feet. Intrigued, he picked up the package while taking a bite of the crisp toast that had been left for him. Sitting on the bed he lazily unwrapped it like a child who had received a gift they didn't want for Christmas; not at all bothered about what the package contained.

    As the brown paper fell to the floor, the contents revealed themselves. Black cargo trousers, with large pockets on the sides. Taking them out, Samia next retrieved a black t-shirt, completely plain, no logos, nothing. Holding them up, Samia noted they were both in his size. Was this his training gear? Guessing so, after washing in the small bathroom, he put them on along with a pair of trainers from his suitcase and left his room.

    Remembering the route from the evening before, Samia walked back to Scolari's office wondering what the old man had in store for him. True, he had been told he was being “enrolled,” but he wasn't told what that encompassed or entailed. Perhaps he had jumped into this a bit too soon? He had never been one to hang about, but Samia still felt a little suspicious about Scolari, who seemed to be keeping some of his cards to his chest.

    Upon reaching the door, Samia knocked against the metal frame, awaiting a reply. The door swung open and Kori stood there, towering over Samia. It was only now that Samia realized how intimidating a figure Kori possessed, as although Samia feared no one, there was something about Kori that made him want to go and hide in a corner.

    “Samia, please come in,” Kori requested politely.

    Complying, Samia strode into the office where Scolari was standing, still in his pristine white robes; perfectly shaven and clean in every aspect. Walking over, Samia could see folders laid out upon the table behind which the old man stood. As he approached, Scolari took them and put them in what was presumably a drawer underneath the table.

    “Samia, good to see you,” Scolari said. “Are you ready for this?”

    Samia considered it one last time. If he didn't do this, what else did he have to do? True, he may have jumped in feet first at the deep end, but this was his grandfather’s goal and he felt he should carry on the torch, so to speak.

    “Yes.” Samia answered, his mind set.

    Scolari smiled, evidently happy that Samia was sticking by his word. Looking past Samia, he nodded at Kori, who walked over, his large footsteps echoing around the metal room.

    “Now Samia,” Kori started as he stood next to Scolari, “This training will not be easy. Many people drop out before they finish. Be warned, this is not for the weak, or the innocent. Afterwards you will thank us for it, but during the training you will hate us.”

    Samia blinked, a tad shocked by Kori's speech. Mainly because the man had barely spoken five sentences to him when they had first met, but also because it sounded like he was trying to scare him off. With a stern look upon his face, Samia knew he was ready for anything they could throw at him.

    “I understand.” Samia replied, “I am prepared for what is to come.”

    Kori smiled, the scar running down his face distorted by the facial expression. “I expected nothing else from a Master.”

    Kori knew? How many people had Scolari told? Looking across, Scolari evidently saw Samia's expression as he piped up.

    “Yes, Samia, Kori knows you are a Pokémon Master, but only him. Indeed, the only people who know your identity are all standing in this room. Kori is Head Paladin of the Order, so it is his right to know.”

    Not fully satisfied by Scolari's explanation, Samia accepted it regardless. “Very well, when do we get started?”

    “Right after we sort a few things out,” Scolari replied, “To start with, you cannot let people know who you are. And I don't just mean about being a Master, I mean about being Samia, about being former Champion. Whilst in the training program, you will be known as Initiate Marcus Johnson.” With that, Scolari pulled out a grey jumper, made of thick wool, and threw it over to Samia, who caught it easily.

    Unfolding it, Samia noted the tag on the upper right chest, which read “Initiate M. Johnson.” Not seeing a reason not to, Samia put the jumper on, which fit snugly, the wool gripping his arms. Not really bothered with his new item of clothing, Samia noted a small flaw in Scolari's plan.

    “Not wanting to sound big-headed,” Samia told the pair, “but I’m quite a recognizable figure. For the last eight years I've been the idol of trainers around the world, so people kind of know what I look like.”

    Scolari grinned again, did the man do nothing but smile at Samia's comments? He didn't feel great being grinned at like a child who just announced that a banana was yellow.

    “It's all taken care of, hasn’t it Kori?” Scolari replied, looking up at the bigger man.

    “Yes Elder, it has.” Reaching under the desk, Kori retrieved a pair of scissors, a box of what looked like hair dye, and a smaller box that looked like it came from an opticians. “Now Samia, sit down and let’s get this sorted.”

    *****


    Looking at a mirror in a side room, Samia barely recognized himself. His once thick brown hair was now short and blond, and his bright blue eyes were now dull brown thanks to a pair of custom contact lenses.

    Walking back into the main office, Samia couldn't help but be impressed. Scolari had evidently covered all bases, and was seemingly ready for any eventuality. Although Samia was still unsure about what to think of him, he admired his commitment.

    Seeing him enter, Scolari nodded seemingly satisfied with Kori's handy work. “Good, I can barely tell it's you. Now, your training is about to begin, a few things before you go. Do you have any Pokémon with you?”

    Samia nodded. “Yes, is that a problem?” If it was, he was bit dubious about leaving his Pokémon with Scolari, a man he barely knew.

    Instead of Scolari answering however, Kori did. “No Pokémon are allowed on the training area, or at least not your own. You will have to leave them in your room before we go.”

    Samia accepted the judgement, as he guessed any protests would fall upon deaf ears as neither of the people in front of him appeared to be very flexible when concerning conduct, especially with official order business. “Very well.”

    “In terms of your daily schedule, you will come here every morning at 6:45AM, no later. From here, Kori will take you to the training grounds where you will spend the majority of the day. In the evening, you will be taught by myself about the order, the Pokémon masters and what is expected of you. If all goes to plan this training should take no longer than four months.”

    Samia nodded in agreement, realizing that any training would not be administered overnight. It was going to be a hard road, of that he had no doubt, but he would not fail, he would not give up. He would excel, not just for the Order, but for his grandfather and, more importantly, for himself.

    “Then what are we waiting for?”


    **********

    After depositing his pokéballs in his room, albeit a little hesitantly, Samia was lead by Kori into the bowels of the bunker. They must have been hundreds of meters below the ground, and Kori gave no clue as to where they were headed. There was no conversation, the metallic clang of their feet hitting the floor being the only noise to break the endless silence. Eventually, however, they reached a large metal door, at least twice as wide as Samia and thrice as tall. Upon reaching the door, Kori turned to Samia.

    “This is where I must leave you,” he told Samia. “Through this door is where your training will begin. I must stress what Grand Elder Scolari told you: remain inconspicuous, let no one know who you truly are.”

    Samia understood. If people knew who he was, it could jeopardize everything. For this to work he had to be invisible, another face in the crowd. Shaking Kori's hand, Samia replied “I understand, Kori.” With that Samia walked through the door, into the training grounds.

    No sooner had he gone two steps into the room than a voice barked over at him. “Fall in, Initiate!”

    Looking over, Samia quickly found the source of the voice, a man in a camouflage uniform. His hair was shorn short and grey at the temples, and his dark eyes didn't look human, too big, black, unblinking.

    “Are you stupid, Initiate? I said fall in!” the man barked again, much louder this time.

    Looking across, Samia saw about thirty others, all in the same clothes as him, arranged in three rows, with a gap at the back. Not wanting to be shouted at again, Samia jogged over and filled the space, and, imitating the others, stood tall with his fists clenched by his sides.

    “Now, as I was saying,” the man at the front began, “I am Sergeant Brown, and for the next four months, you are mine. You do as I say, when I say. If I say jump, you answer how high, If I say run, you ask how far. There will be no insubordination, no backtalk, no attitude. You will comply and obey everything I tell you, no exceptions.”

    Samia frowned, he was expected to listen to this knucklehead for the next four months? Whilst he wasn't scared, he certainly didn't relish the prospect of having to put up with this moron throughout his training.

    “Now, you all got here differently, you all have different backgrounds, whether it is race, gender or nationality, but here, you are all the same. Here, you are nothing. You could have been the King of the Dragonites out there, but here, everyone begins with a blank slate. Here, you have to earn your respect and your right to be a member of the Order.”

    Samia looked around at his fellow “initiates” and saw that not all of them seemed to thrilled with this revelation. From what he could tell, their ages ranged from maybe fifteen at the youngest to over twenty at the oldest. They were a diverse group, with both males and females present, and judging from some of their appearances, people from all the different regions. Samia was broke out of his thought by another shout from Sergeant Brown:

    “Now, let us begin! Jumping jacks! Counting up to one hundred, go!”

    In unison, everyone started jumping up and down. Samia had never done so many jumping jacks in his life. His arms, stomach, and legs burned. Sweat trickled down his back.

    “Ninety-eight—ninety-nine—one hundred.” Brown paused, barely seeming affected by the exercise. Samia leaned over, as did several others, attempting to catch his breath. This was ridiculous, he had only just started!

    “Now, sit-ups!” Brown said, dropping down onto the metal floor. “Count off to one hundred, no slacking!”

    Samia groaned and threw himself to the floor, his muscles burning with every movement. Between sit-ups, he heard Brown's voice “The first initiate who quits gets to run around the training area twice, and does two hundred sit-ups!”

    Following the sit-ups came deep squats, then knee bends, then press-ups. By the end Samia wanted to die. Beside him, someone threw up, but it brought him no respite, as a trainer appeared from the wings, brandishing a baton. Seeing this, the boy rolled over and continued.

    “Leg-lifts!” Brown continued like he was a machine; like they were all machines. Samia tried to move, but his legs felt like they had tripled in weight, each movement became a mammoth task. He was now drenched with sweat, it ran off him like rain, the exhaustion was colossal, his vision blurred but he kept moving, not wanting to be the one to quit.

    “Rest.” Brown finally called, “Trainers: get the water.”

    Trainers dressed in identical camouflage fatigues brought out carts laden with water bottles. Samia grabbed one and gulped down the liquid, and although it was warm and salty, it was the best water he had ever tasted. Lying on his back, Samia could just about see the high ceiling, the strip lights blaring out light, reaching all corners of the room. This bunker must be massive, possibly stretching miles into the—

    “A good start, now, on your feet! Time for a short run!”

    The short run ended up being about six miles. Samia tried to think of what would come next, but he couldn't get his thoughts in order, All he could feel was his blood pumping through him, the ache in his muscles, and hunger.

    Eventually, they ended up outside a door, identical to every other door in the bunker. However, on the door the words ORDER OFFICER ACADEMY were inscribed. A woman stood at the door, with a white robe wrapped around her body, similar to Scolari's but less. . . ornate. She seemed quite old, with flecks of grey in her long brown hair.

    “Excellent work, Sergeant Brown,” she said in a smooth, silky voice, and turning to the initiates she greeted them. “Welcome, my name is Scribe Joanna and I will be your teacher. Please come in, class is about to start.”

    Class? Samia had never been in formal education, everything he knew he knew from his Grandfather and what he had been able to pick up on the road. While he wasn't stupid, not by a long way, he wasn't the most schooled person in the world. Around him, several people groaned at the prospect.

    As she turned into the room she called over. “Of course, if you would prefer to stay and do more morning exercises with Sergeant Brown, please feel free to skip class.”

    Everyone rushed into the room.

  6. #246
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    “Now, let us begin! Jumping jacks! Counting up to one hundred, go!”

    In unison, everyone started jumping up and down. Samia had never done so many jumping jacks in his life. His arms, stomach, and legs burned. Sweat trickled down his back.

    “Ninety-eight—ninety-nine—one hundred.” Brown paused, barely seeming affected by the exercise. Samia leaned over, as did several others, attempting to catch his breath. This was ridiculous, he had only just started!
    Hmm. For a professional trainer who's been through much more strenuous exercise, I'd think he could stand 100 jumping jacks. I've done 150 in a row before, and that was when I was nine years old.

    Something like a thousand might be more reasonable, but that would take too long.

    So... what's with all the phys. ed. anyway? It doesn't seem like the kind of long, hard training that such a "master" would be put through. I imagine there's a reason for it, though.
    Last edited by Zekurom; 21st April 2011 at 10:59 AM.
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  7. #247
    Vile Insect. RaccoonGoon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    I feel a little bad for Samia having to go to classes. That, and having to work out so much before hand.
    Great job, keep it up.
    Last edited by RaccoonGoon; 21st April 2011 at 07:56 PM.

  8. #248
    Now available in 4D! Flygon 101's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Good chapter. I liked it. Especially how you seemed to make a lot of writing about physical exercise. Also, I like what's coming next and I love theory over practical. I just hope there's some punishment for wrong answers (if that was what you were planning on doing).

    Keep it up.
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  9. #249
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    The funniest part was at the end when everyone rushed in the classroom, I know what I would have picked. Anyway, nice chapter! I like how you went in details about the training, though I still have no clue what that has to do with the masters or anything else. But I guess that all just adds up to the air of mystery surrounding Pokémon Masters.

    Though why were there so many people in the bunker? Do they all have the same ability as Samia?

  10. #250
    The small giant Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Damn, Samia went from being the champion to being a kid in military school.

    That must've been really tough though to do all those exercises, though it was good I would've liked a little bit more description on what was going on while he was doing the exercises you know to get a better feel of it.

    Also it was a good idea, though I wonder how you'll deal with the whole camp thing.

    One thing though, the fic is called Season and we're in autumm so when does winter begin?

  11. #251
    #YEEZUS Ultra Pidgeot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    read the newest chapter. I just saw Hartman as Brown.

    I liked the ending. Clever little touch.

    Not much besides his first work out in this chapter, although it'll be interesting to see other ways they train.

  12. #252
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    This fic is definitely taking an interesting turn. I never could have predicted where it was going. I'm kind of confused as to what exactly the order does, especially the non-masters. But I suppose you'll go into that as time goes on. This looks like a nice little snap back into reality for Samia here. Love the story, keep it up!

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  13. #253
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    cool chapter dude, like how samia is having to work hard :D
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  14. #254
    Fanfic Writer some colour no doubt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    Right, first of all thanks to everyone who read and left feedback!
    It means a lot.

    Answer time, or at least I'll answer what i can without giving away what is to come if possible.












    Again guys, thanks for reading! Work on the next chapter is underway, so keep an eye out and I'll let you know when it gets released!

  15. #255
    Fanfic Writer some colour no doubt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seasons, Book 1: Autumn

    right guys, sorry for my absence, but its exam time so i've had no time to work on the getting the next chapter written up. It's all planned out, but i have to revise if i want to get into my second year of uni. However, my exams finish next thursday (the 26th) so you can expect the chapter not long after that.

    Also if you haven't i recommend you check out Stainless Rivalry, a collaboration between myself, Gastly's Mama and Lugion. Whilst I'm only in like a consulting role at the moment (making sure events fit in with the Seasons universe), the last chapter will involve Alanah! So read it and let us know what you think!

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