From the simple white walls, the lack of any form of natural light, to the fact his secretary, yes his secretary, was sat outside, the whole thing was dull.
to the fact his secretary- yes, his secretary- was sat outside, the whole thing was dull. (Sorry. I don't really think those commas make sense there)
at 3, members of the Kanto gym league are here to ask about your lack of enthusiasm to the leagues of other reasons
Reasons? o: Do you mean regions?
Some even challenged him to battles, which he was forced to graciously decline as
he left the room.
Even there auras weren't as prominent as they once were, become dull, with very little movement, in contrast to when they use to battle, when they were a tornado of light and colour.
Even their auras weren't as prominent as they once were. They'd become dull, with very little movement in contrast to when they used to battle, where they were a tornado of light and colour. (No need for all the commas)
For a time they just sat their in there embrace
. They just sat there
Samia reminds me a lot of Gary Oak. o: Is that who he's modeled after? I always loved Gary the most when it came to games and the anime, so that's a good thing. You never really think about it, but yeah, being a champion would pretty much suck ass, dude. D: Good thing the games don't make you do what would really happen if you were a champion. Oh, but there is one thing I want to say- you seem to have trouble figuring out which version of 'there' to use when writing. It's a common mistake.
There are three types of there, but I'll give a quick run-down of how to use them:
-If you're talking about a specific place (i.e. a store like Walmart) you would say there.
As in, "I really want to go there
, dad! The strangers there
have the best candy I've ever tasted."
-If you're talking about something possessively (as in, something they own or a quality they have) you would use their.
For example, "Can you believe all these strangers are giving out their
candy at the parking lot? Afterwards, maybe we can go into their
van and help them find their
-Finally, there's they're,
which I dunno if you have trouble with or not, but it's just the contraction of "they" and "are." So you'd simply use it when you could say "they" and "are" together. Like, "Son, I'm sorry to tell you this, but all those strangers you're talking about? They're
after your v-card, and they're
probably going to kill you once you give them what they're
after. Let's get fat and go to McDonalds so they don't want to rape you instead."
Hopefully those shi
t examples clear things up for you a bit. ;3 Over-all it was a good chapter though. I'm excited to see what happens next.