Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

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  1. #1
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    Default Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    This is my first real attempt at writing for anyone, so
    constuctive criticism and reviews will be very helpful. :)


    Chapter 1: Disaster.

    All Aeric Caeren had wanted was to get a Christmas present for his nephew. He had never intended to be caught in a volcanic eruption.
    The only reason he had come to Cinnabar Island in the first place was to have the Wing Fossil he had purchased in Isshu revived.

    As Aeric, having dropped off the fossil for revival, went to the hotel where he was staying, the ground began to shake.

    "Why was this happening? thought Aeric.The seismographs in the lab should have activated before this. There was no warning whatsoever,
    not even the Absol that had been released onto the volcano came down to warn anyone about this."

    The inhabitants of Cinnabar Island were already making their way to the port, running as fast as they could to the boats that waited there.
    Aeric went as well, but he did not plan on evacuating just yet.

    When he got to the port, people were loading onto boats, riding away on large Water-Type pokemon, and taking off with their flying pokemon.

    After each boat had been filled, it set sail for Pallet Town, the closest port to Cinnabar. Soon, all of the boats except one had been filled and had left, and it was obvious that there would not be enough room on the remaining small ship.

    The remaining people began to panic, and Aeric called out to them, "I'm Aeric Caeren, member of the Elite four and Flying-Type master!"

    This quieted the people down and they looked at him expectantly.

    Aeric continued: "I will use my pokemon to get you to safety, but they can't take all of you.
    Whoever wants to volunteer to fly, can, and the others will go on the boat."

    This caused the some of remaining evacuees to look at each other, worried about being separated from their families.

    Then one young man raised his hand and said, "I'll go, Mr. Caeren." He was a student at the lab and had no family on Cinnabar to begin with. Some other students volunteered, and a couple of young trainers as well.

    After he had six volunteers, Aeric said, "OK, everyone who isn't flying, get on that boat."

    After everyone had boarded and the boat was full, it left Cinnabar and began making its way to Pallet Town.

    Aeric then sent out his pokemon.

    Dragonite and Drifblim could each carry two people by themselves, and Braviary and Aerodactyl could take one person each as well. That left Aeric with his Charizard, which he didn't send out yet.

    "All right, get ready for take-off, everyone," Aeric said.

    Aeric smiled as the brave young people left, until only he and the first student to volunteer were still on Cinnabar.

    The young man said, "Mr. Caeren, will you be alright? Can your last pokemon get you to Pallet Town?"

    Aeric said to him, "I'll be fine, kid. Charizard'll get me there safely, but I have some unfinished business on this island. You better get goin'."

    The student said, "Okay, Mr. Caeren, I'll see you at Pallet."

    He then got on Wargle's back and they flew off over the sea to Pallet Town.

    Aeric sent out Charizard, and said to the Flame pokemon, "We need to get to that lab, Charizard. There might be an Aaken that needs savin'."

    Having directed his pokemon where to go, Aeric got on Charizard's back and they took off like a rocket towards Cinnabar Lab.

    Chapter Two will be up tomorrow.
    Again, helpful comments and reviews will be very helpful.
    Last edited by Hadesiro; 10th February 2011 at 10:17 AM.

  2. #2
    Happy 4th of July :3 PokemonLotty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Wow I really like it, it's dramatic and has an excellent plot I love how creative the concept is; A volcanic eruption on cinnabar island and they evacuate to Pallet. Maybe it's just me and my obsession with plot twists but, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Aeric's nephew that he had to get a Christmas present for is Ash XD Anyway I love it I'll be checking tomorrow for the next chapter.
    Please read and review my fanfic, The Very Best Like No One Ever Was:

    Here's my fanfiction profile:

    Patientlly awaiting the airing of TR vs. TP special...

    For the last time, BW is NOT a reboot.
    (Copy and paste this to your signature if you agree)

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Quote Originally Posted by PokemonLotty View Post
    Wow I really like it, it's dramatic and has an excellent plot I love how creative the concept is; A volcanic eruption on cinnabar island and they evacuate to Pallet. Maybe it's just me and my obsession with plot twists but, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Aeric's nephew that he had to get a Christmas present for is Ash XD Anyway I love it I'll be checking tomorrow for the next chapter.
    What? Ash?
    I said this was an original story, not a fanfic. But I might have
    Ash appear in the story. I think I've got a pretty good role for

    Anyway, here's chapter two.


    Chapter 2: Discovery

    Aeric and Charizard sped towards Cinnabar Lab, hoping to rescue the Aaken that could have been ressurected from the fossil.

    Aeric was confident that he would be able to get there in time; Cinnabar eruptions always took a while to get started.

    They approached the lab quickly, but as they got closer, Aeric noticed something that was enough to even scare him.

    A huge cloud of smoke and ash was rolling towards the lab and towards him.

    Suddenly, a elderly man in a white coat dashed out of the lab, holding a large black
    box in his arms.

    The man was enveloped in the smoke, and Aeric immediately stopped Charizard and got off of its back.

    "Go, Charizard! Get that guy and bring him over to me!" Aeric shouted over the rumble of the eruption.

    Charizard obeyed and flew off to the man's aid, and Aeric ran towards the port to escape from the oncoming cloud.

    As Aeric dashed towards the ocean,
    Charizard flew up beside him carrying the man on its back and the box in its claws.

    Charizard and Aeric looked at each other for a moment, then Charizard nodded to indicate that it was ready.

    Charizard moved in front of Aeric, then he jumped onto Charizard's back while it was still in the air.

    They then took off towards Pallet Town, to retrieve Aeric's pokemon and to get the scientist they had rescued to a hospital.

    After they had been flying for a while, the man coughed, and Aeric said, "Hey, can you talk? If you told me your name, I might be able to find your family and tell them about what happened to you."

    The man opened his eyes and looked around, first seeing the bearded face of Aeric, then he began to speak as he continued to observe his surroundings.

    "My na- 'cough' is-" The old man stopped speaking, and started staring at the box Charizard was carrying.

    The elderly scientist began to shudder, and Aeric said, "Hey, whats the mat-". The man cut him off, saying, "No , no, noNOno. It should have burnt to death. It shouldn't be alive. If we have no way of controlling it, it will just be a repeat of New Island!"

    The old man began to shudder and gibber, and soon went into a coughing fit.

    Aeric didn't know what was causing this, or what the man meant, but he tryed to calm the scientist down.

    Despite Aeric's efforts, the old man coughed until he stopped breathing.

    Aeric looked around for a place to land, for he knew it would be impossible to try to revive the man from Charizard's back.

    Aeric scanned the ocean for a place to rescuscitate the old scientist, but he saw none until-. Up ahead, it was Pallet town, where the newly built hospital waited.

    Aeric landed and took the man to the hospital, leaving Charizard by the entrance.

    He told the nurse at the front desk, "This man isn't breathing, he inhaled smoke during the eruption.
    He needs a doctor, now!"

    The nurse nodded and immediately called for a doctor and stretcher.

    Aeric waited outside the hospital with Charizard.
    Even if he coudn't do anything else, he figured he would wait and see if the old scientist was alright.

    As Aeric waited outside the hospital with Charizard, the young volunteers from Cinnabar approached him, and the one he had lent Wargle to said, "Hey, Mr. Caeren, thanks for lending me your pokemon."

    The young man then handed Wargle's pokeball back to Aeric.

    The other youths thanked Aeric as well, and returned the pokemon that they had borrowed from

    Aeric said to them, "Now that the Lab is destroyed, what are you going to do now? Head back to your families?

    The first young student said, "Well, we all talked about it together, and we've decided to journey all around and visit our families as we travel. Cyra and Kel -the two trainers you helped- suggested it."

    Aeric smiled and said, "Well, I wish you good luck and happy travels. I went on a pokemon journey when I was younger. By the way, what was your name? If you guys do well enough,
    I'll recommend you for the Battle Frontier, or maybe even Gym jobs."

    The young man said, "My name is Vittor Ferali. Thank you for everything, Mr. Caeren!"

    Vittor and his friends then left Pallet Town, and headed north to Viridian City, probably to spend the night at a hotel.

    After they had left, Aeric heard a sound coming from the black box that Charizard still held in its arms.

    Was it- crying? Aeric asked Charizard for the box, and it gave the box to him.

    Aeric opened the box.

    Inside the padded interior of the box was a baby, but it had a large amount of purple hair, and glowing red eyes.

    Aeric gasped, "A baby?" Then he blinked and took a better look.

    It was a pokemon- a Ralts, but unlike any Ralts Aeric had ever seen.

    It resembled a human baby very closely, and had purple hair with black crests, instead of green with red.

    The Ralts stopped crying as it looked at Aeric, but after seeing his large red beard, it began crying again.

    Aeric didn't know what to do. He was great at taking care of pokemon, but this one seemed a bit too human. He decided to try to comfort it like one would a comfort a baby.

    He reached into the box, and tryed to pick it up, but at the sight of his large, gloved hands, the Ralts cryed even harder.

    Aeric picked it up, but it just kept crying as he rocked it in his arms, trying to get it to go to sleep.
    Eventually, the Ralts went to sleep, tired out from crying.

    Aeric returned Charizard and went into the hospital with the Ralts to see if the scientist was conscious.

    He figured that anyone would want to know if their pokemon was safe.

    When Aeric asked the nurse, she said that the old man had died of a heart attack that had been induced by a combination of age, smoke, and extreme stress.

    The old man's name was Benardo Arugala, and he had no living family or friends.

    He had been a leading scientist in the field of genetic engineering.

    Aeric asked the nurse, "Will his associates at the lab arrange for his funeral?
    And also, if he has no one else, who'll take care of his pokemon?"

    "Mr. Caeren," the nurse said. "He had no pokemon, or even coworkers. We were only able to find out who he was through medical records. None of the other evacuees we treated had even seen him on Cinnabar, much less knew him"

    "Oh," said Aeric, "What should I do with the pokemon that he had, then?"

    The nurse replied, "Well, if you're a good enough person to rescue someone at the risk of your own life, I'm sure that they would want you to take care of their pokemon."

    Aeric didn't have anything else to do in Pallet, so he set the Ralts back in its cushioned box, sent out his Dragonite, and they took off to Saffron City.

    "I guess they're getting another Psychic type this year. I hope Morrie likes his Christmas present."
    Aeric thought this as they flew towards the big city.

    I hope this chapter was as good as, or even better than, the first.
    As always, constuctive criticism and good advice will be appreciated.
    Even comments that just say 'good job' will make me happy. :)
    Last edited by Hadesiro; 17th February 2011 at 10:49 AM.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Well, I guess my story isn't even good enough for anyone to comment on. If there's something wrong with how I'm doing this, please tell me. Please don't infract me for double posting.


    Chapter 3: Delivery

    The Caeren family was celebrating Christmas in their large Saffron City home.

    Caden, the man of the house and Aeric's brother, was playing with Morrie, his 11 month old son, while Jocelyn, his wife, was helping their twin daughters with their presents.

    "I don't think Budew wants to be dressed up, Jody." Jocelyn said to her 5 year old daughter.

    The small Grass type was obviously uncomfortable with the thought of wearing the doll clothes that Jody held.

    "Yeah, Jody. Dress up your Gothimu, not my Budew, added Jody's sister, Joann."

    "Okay, Mommy. I think the clothes look better on Gothimu anyway." said Jody.

    There was a knock at the door, and Jocelyn's Blissey went to open it.

    The twins ran to the door, and as soon as Blissey opened it, there was a call of "Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Uncle Aeric is here, and he brought presents for all the good children!"

    Jody and Joann ran up to their uncle and hugged his legs, saying, "Yay, Uncle Aeric! We love you, Uncle Aeric! Where're our presents, Uncle Aeric?"

    Aeric laughed and said "Whoa, you need to settle down and let your uncle catch his breath, or I might not be able to call in your presents."

    The twins looked at their uncle, confused, "What do you mean?" said Jody. "By call in our?" said Joann. "Presents?" finished Jody.

    Aeric laughed again and said "I mean.. Drifblim, come on in!"

    Aeric's Drifblim floated through the large doors, carrying a big basket full of presents for everyone, even the pokemon.

    Everyone was having a wonderful time playing with the gifts they had received and with each other.

    Jody saw her uncle still holding a large black box, and asked him, "Who's that for, Uncle Aeric?"

    "Ah, yes. Caden, could you bring Morrie over here? It's time he got his first pokemon." called Aeric.

    Caden said, "Alright, but I hope you didn't get him something too difficult to raise. Budew and Gothimu are enough already, and they don't even fly."

    Aeric feigned shock and replied, "Flying? Why would you say that? It's not like I was going to get him some ancient bird of prey."

    Caden brought his son over to where Aeric sat, and Aeric took Morrie and set him on his lap, across from the black box.

    Aeric opened the box, and inside was the sleeping Ralts.

    When exposed to the light and sound, from the party, it woke up, and would have started crying if not for Morrie leaning across his uncle's lap and embracing the odd pokemon.

    Morrie hugged the pokemon, and after a few moments, the Ralts hugged back.

    "Rutia," Morrie said as he carresed the little pokemon, "Rutia"

    Soon, it was obvious that "Rutia's Morrie's best friend." and that "Rutia's she, not it." as Morrie continually corrected when first his parents, then his sisters, told him that Rutia is a "Pokemon," or if they used the pronoun "It" when talking about her.

    At first, Rutia hid behind or sat next to Morrie, and cryed whenever someone tryed to separate them, but after a while, Rutia realised she could trust everyone in the Caeren family.

    Rutia and Morrie just sat together, making happy baby noises for the most part as they conversed in each other's minds, with Rutia asking about Morrie's family and Morrie explaining to her.

    Eventually, the little ones fell asleep, and were taken by Jocelyn to Morrie's crib, and the twins were sent to bed to the room that they shared.

    When she came back down, she found her husband asking Aeric, "What is that thing? Where did you get it? I've never seen anything like it."

    Aeric said, "Wait, wait, Rutia isn't dangerous. She's just an odd Ralts. Haven't you ever heard of alternate coloration?"

    Cadus replied, "Ralts' alternate coloration is blue with orange crests, not purple with black like that thing."

    Aeric said, "I still don't think she's dangerous just because she's abnormal, Cadus. But as for where I got her.. Did you hear about the eruption on Cinnabar? I'm guessing it's too early for the news about it to be released."

    Cadus said, "There was an eruption on Cinnabar Island?!"

    Aeric replied, "Yup, and I was there." He then began to tell them of what had occured on Cinnabar.

    Do you think I should make profiles for my characters?
    Like age, owned pokemon, occupation, a small amount of history about each character.

    So, what did you think of this chapter? PLEASE tell me, even though I'll keep posting chapters... even if nobody cares.
    Last edited by Hadesiro; 12th February 2011 at 08:57 PM.

  5. #5
    You Know The Name Tye Taylors's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Nice...its forming nicely, I shall right one to leave yours in the dust...eventually :P
    FCs: Heart Gold: 1892-8730-9569; White: 1549-4836-0020

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)


    Chapter 4: Discussion

    "So you rescued this man, Professor Arugala, and when he died at the hospital, they gave you the pokemon that he had had with him?" Jocelyn asked Aeric.

    Aeric replied, "Yup, thats right. I just wish Arugala could've survived. When I was flying him to the hospital, he freaked out for some reason, saying that something shouldn't be alive, and that it would be a repeat of some island. I don't know what he meant. Maybe he was afraid of heights, and the shock from being in the air, combined with the smoke he inhaled made him crazy. No matter what, Rutia needs a home, and I can't raise her. Not only do I have my Elite Four duties, but I think she might be a little scared of me."

    Caden said, "Still.. Are you sure Rutia is completely safe? That she's an actual Ralts, not some sort of dangerous starter pokemon that Arugala had? I still haven't forgotten that time when we were kids."

    Aeric smiled and said, "Just because my Charmander tryed to eat you and your Shinx the moment it met you, you're still afraid of pokemon that come from professors?"

    "Thats not the only reason!" fumed Caden. "One time, when I went to pick up my wife from the Pokemon Center, some Turtwig bit the seat of my pants! Just my luck that the Pokemon Professor convention was in Saffron that night, and that Professor Hikari's Turtwig was feeling hungry."

    Jocelyn laughed and said, "That was so funny, Caden jumping up and down, trying to get rid of that Turtwig and yelling his head off. And then, Professor Oak came in and his skittish old Umbreon started barking. Caden, dear, you may be a good human doctor, but most pokemon really don't like you."

    "Why haven't I heard this one before?" said Aeric, laughing.

    Caden then said, "Because I never really wanted my older brother to know that even today, most pokemon view me as food." He then pointed to Drifblim, "While we're on the subject, WHY did you bring that thing? When we lived in Sinnoh, it nearly kidnapped me."

    "Oh, yeah. That's a pokemon that likes you, right, Drifblim?" Aeric said to his pokemon, which had been helping Blissey clean up the used wrapping paper.

    Drifblim turned to them and bobbed it's baloonlike body, as if it was nodding.

    Caden, still annoyed, said, "Oh, yes. That thing likes me. In fact, it likes me enough, that when I met it, it tryed to devour my soul. If it wasn't for my Shinx and Aeric's Charmeleon, I doubt I'd even be here today. But aren't we getting off point here? This started as a discussion about Rutia, not about the many times pokemon have nearly eaten me."

    "But what about the time my Aerodactyl escaped from its pokeball during dinner?" Aeric said, still eager for more.

    "Enough about this, please." said Caden. "Jocelyn, what do you think? Should we let Rutia stay?

    Jocelyn, who had been laughing all this time, said, "Well, even if Rutia came from a professor, I've never heard of Ralts hurting anyone, much less eating them. Compared to what happened in the past, I think Rutia will be a good thing for this family. Morrie loves her already and she might even help you get over your fear of pokemon."

    Caden replied, "Well, if you put it that way, I'm fine with Rutia staying. Aeric, you can have one of the extra bedrooms if you plan on spending the night.

    Aeric said, "Nah, I need to head back to the Pokemon League. I have a house there, and the League's got challenges scheduled for tomorrow. It would be best if I got going.

    Aeric went out the door, and then called back into the house, "Drifblim, let's go!" The purple ghost pokemon floated out, but as it did, it turned around and seemed to smile at Caden as it left.

    After Aeric had left, Caden said to his wife, "That thing STILL creeps me out."

    Should I have mentioned that this story takes place 40+ years after the events of, say Ash Ketchum's pokemon journey?

    And so another chapter ends. Do you think I should make the profiles that I mentioned?
    See if you can guess what Jocelyn's maiden name is. Hint. She has pink hair.
    And see if you can guess the first names of the Pokemon Professors I included.
    Last edited by Hadesiro; 19th February 2011 at 09:51 AM.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Here's another chapter!


    Chapter 5: Different

    (Mental speaking = <" and ">.)


    It was morning, and Rutia and Morrie slept peacefully in the crib.


    Jody's Gothimu was staring at Rutia as she slept. Somehow, it had gotten into the crib, and was curiously watching Rutia.

    Rutia woke up to Gothimu standing over her, humming "jiii" and gazing at her.

    Rutia mentally asked Gothimu, <"Why are you looking at me like that? And why are you making that sound?>"

    Gothimu responded, "<Oh, you're up. I'm not staring at you, I'm just curious about why when I tried to mentally contact you last night, I couldn't even feel your consciousness, much less converse. I think you're only open to mental contact when you want to be, because you're able to mentally speak with me now, and vice-versa.>"

    Gothimu paused for a moment, and then continued, <"Well, I was staring at something, but not particularly at you. I was looking at your Aura. It's purple, and has spots with a bunch of different colors, but mostly black. And it pulses. And I think it's really pretty, so can I please watch, just for a little bit longer? Please?">

    Rutia just stopped and took all this in for a moment, and then said, <"Yes, you can watch, but what is that sound you're making?"> to the overexited Gothimu.

    <"Oh, that?"> said Gothimu, <"Thats my cry. Every pokemon has one, and the crys vary in small amounts with each individual.'>

    <"So I have a cry too? I've never heard it, really, except when I was actually crying."> replied Rutia.

    <"Yup, you do."> said Gothimu. <"Try saying something with your mouth, instead of your mind.">

    Rutia said <"Okay, I'll give it a try.">

    She opened her mouth, and attempted to say "Is this it?" but instead, a horrible barrage of screaming and screeching came out.

    Morrie woke up, and would have started crying had Rutia not immediately stopped and told him <"There's nothing wrong, it was just me.">

    Morrie's parents slept in the same room as his crib, and unfortunately, Rutia's cry had woken up them up.

    Caden leapt out of bed, saw Rutia screaming, and said, "See! SEE! Thats not a Ralts, it's something out of a nightmare!"

    His wife had also woken up, and said, "Caden, dear, you're quivering. And please don't say those things while Morrie and Rutia can hear you."

    Jocelyn then went to pick up Morrie and Rutia, and said "Don't worry, sweeties. Daddy didn't mean those things he said. He's just a little scared of everything." to them.

    Gothimu, meanwhile, had went downstairs for breakfast.

    Jocelyn took Morrie and Rutia downstairs as well.

    She set Rutia down near the pokemon food where Gothimu, Budew, and Caden's Luxray were eating.

    Morrie began to fidget and cry almost immediately, and started yelling, "Rutia! Rutia!"

    Jocelyn set him down near Rutia, who having been told by the other pokemon that the brown pellets were food, had begun to eat.

    Morrie made his way to the dish that Rutia was eating from, and started to munch on the pokemon chow himself.

    Rutia telepathically asked Morrie, <"Why are you eating this stuff? It's pokemon food. And it tastes horrible.">

    Morrie responded, <"I always want to be with you, Rutia. You're my best friend. Besides, this stuff isn't nearly as bad as that mashed up stuff Daddy tried feeding me once. After that, Mommy always fed me.">

    'Daddy' came into the kitchen, and saw, to his horror... "My son's first real solid food is pokemon chow!"
    Caden gasped.

    Jody and Joanna came down to the dining room as well, and Joanna said to her mother, "Mommy, Daddy's freaking out again."

    "I know, sweetie, I'll go calm him down. You and Jody can start getting out the oatmeal."

    Jocelyn then said to her pokemon, "Blissey, go get one of your eggs. I hate to do this to Caden, but he just needs to be happy for once."

    Blissey said, "Blissey!" and went to go get one of its eggs from the fridge.

    After everything had been settled down, Jocelyn said "Okay, kids. I'm taking Daddy to work now. I don't think he'll be able to drive the way he is now."

    "Yippee!" said Caden. "I'm going to work now. Bye bye, everyone. I love you!"

    Jocelyn continued, "Blissey, keep an eye on everyone and make sure they don't cause any mischief." Then she said to her children, "I'll be back as soon as Daddy's been treated."

    "Ugh. I just hope that his coworkers at the hospital will have something to counteract the drug that's in Blissey eggs." Jocelyn said to herself as she herded her overly happy husband and his Luxray into the car.

    <"Your eggs do.. THAT to people?"> Rutia asked Blissey.

    Blissey replied, in pokemon speak. "Well, most Blisseys' eggs aren't as strong as mine. Normal Blissey eggs are just supposed to make humans feel good and be happy. Mine make the humans a little bit crazy until the effect wears off. By the way, why aren't you talking vocally like me?"

    Rutia was going to respond, but before she could, Gothimu said to Blissey, "Don't ask her to speak!"

    Blissey, surprised, said, "Well, why not?"

    Rutia responded this time and said, <"Well, did you hear that screech earlier? That was me.">

    "Oh, that!" said Blissey. "It didn't bug me that much, but Scaredy Cat nearly jumped onto the ceiling.

    <"Scaredy Cat?"> questioned Rutia.

    Blissey responded, "Oh, Mr. Caeren's Luxray. Everyone, even Budew and Gothimu call him that. Just about anything will frighten him, just like his trainer."

    Meanwhile, everyone had finished breakfast, and Morrie had eaten a bowl of pokemon food.
    Last edited by Hadesiro; 12th February 2011 at 09:31 PM.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Okay, here's the next chapter. I'm thinking about taking a break from writing if no one comments on the story.


    Chapter 6: Disappear

    Jocelyn returned, and a couple of hours passed uneventfully untill...

    Jody asked her mother, "Mommy, can I have some of my old baby clothes? And can you help me practice sewing on them?

    Jocelyn replied, "Yes, sweetie. I just need to take Morrie upstairs for his nap, and then I'll teach you how to use the sewing machine."

    Jody said, "Okay. I'll wait."

    Jocelyn took Morrie to his crib, and Rutia as well, because Morrie refused to be parted from her. She then went back down and got the sewing machine ready.

    Jody watched as her mother did this, and asked, "I'd like to use my dresses from when I was a baby. Can I use the fancy ones that I'm sometimes wearing in the pictures?"

    "Yes, but only if you'll let me help you with the sewing and the cutting." responded Jocelyn.

    "Hmm.. Okay!" said Jody, excited.

    Jocelyn went to get the dresses from the attic.

    On the way, she saw Joann in the bathroom in front of the tub. Jocelyn asked her daughter, "Joann, what are you doing in there?"

    Joann turned to her mother and responded, "I'm trying to get Budew to use Water Spout, but it hasn't worked yet.

    Jocelyn then said, "Are you sure that's a move Budew can learn? I think the move that it can use is Water Sport, not Water Spout."

    Joann replied to her mother, I think that's it. I saw a pokemon battle on TV, and someone's Budew used Water.. something. Now that I think about it, it was probably Water Sport, not the other one."

    Joann then told Budew, "Budew, use Water Sport!"

    The little Bud pokemon released a spray of water, soaking itself and Joann, who had been leaning over the edge of the bathtub.

    "It worked, Mommy! It worked!" said Joann, excited, "But now me and Budew are all wet."

    Jocelyn said, "Don't worry, I'll get you two towels."

    Joann replied to her mother, "Budew doesn't need one. She already soaked up all the water that was on her by using Absorb."

    Meanwhile, Jody was making plans. "Gothimu, what were Rutia's measurements? You saw when I sent you up there, right?" she asked her pokemon.

    Gothimu mentally replied, <"Sorry, Jody. I got sidetracked by her Aura. It was just so pretty.
    But I do remember she's about the same size as me, except she has a bigger head.">

    Jody didn't understand what her pokemon meant by 'Aura', and didn't really want to. Gothimu could be pretty weird at times.

    "Okay, I know what you mean." said Jody. "And that's good, because Mommy will think I'm making clothes for you."

    The reason that Jody was being sneaky was because Budew hadn't wanted to wear anything, and Jody thought that her mother wouldn't approve of her recruiting Rutia to be a model.

    Jocelyn came down, holding a box full of dresses that Jody had worn when she was a baby.

    Jocelyn set up the sewing machine, and they began working on modifying the baby clothes. She knew what her daughter was up to, and she was fine with it.

    Ralts originally came from the warm Hoenn region, and Rutia seemed a bit cold in Kanto.
    Budew had refused clothes because plants need exposure to the sun.

    Before long, the dresses were finished, and Joann came down, saying, "Morrie's up, Mommy. He says he's hungry and wants pokemon chow." then went back upstairs.

    Jocelyn said, "Okay, I'm going upstairs to get him." and then to Jody, "No touching the sewing machine without my supervision, okay?"

    "Yes, Mommy." replied Jody.

    Jocelyn went and got Morrie and Rutia and then began explaining to Morrie, "Pokechow is for pokemon, not for humans. I know you like how it tastes, but there are better things for you than pokemon food. Now, what else would you eat?"

    Morrie thought for a moment, and then said, "Mommy." He then looked towards Rutia, worried. She said to him
    <"Don't worry. I can wait for you downstairs.>"

    Jody saw her chance. She went over to Rutia, and said, "Do you want to wear a dress like Gothimu is? It'll keep you warm, and you'll look pretty."

    Rutia didn't care about if it made her pretty, but she was rather cold.

    "<I guess I'll try it.>" Rutia mentally responded.

    "Yay!" Jody said, and picked up Rutia to carry her over to where the clothes were.

    Rutia, at the urging of Jody and Gothimu, spent quite a while trying on the modified clothes.

    Eventually she decided to wear the most simple one, much to the disappointment of Jody.

    "Even though that one's kinda boring, I still think it looks good on you." Jody said.

    Gothimu added, <"I can still see your aura though. It's very pretty the way it pulses">

    Rutia didn't really know what to think of that.

    Jocelyn came back down, and said to Jody, "I need to go pick up your father from work. Morrie's sleeping, so don't bother him."

    Jody responded, "Yup, I won't bug him."

    "Good. Now play nice, and I'll be back with Daddy in a bit."

    Jocelyn left the house and got in the car.

    She soon returned with Caden and Luxray, who both went into the living room to watch TV.

    Rutia went to Luxray, and mentally told him, <"Hello, Scaredy Cat. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble when I screeched earlier.">

    Luxray growled, "Who're you calling Scaredy Cat, you little weirdo?"

    Rutia was quite frightened, for she had thought that Luxray would more like Caden; High strung, overreactive, and scared of nearly everything, but kind as well.

    "< I- I'm sorry, Luxray.>" Rutia said. "<But Blissey said everyone called you that, so I thought you didn't mind.>"

    Rutia, at this point, was so scared that she wanted to disappear into the shadows.

    So, she did.

    Luxray looked in front of himself, and gasped as much as a scared cat could. Instead of there being an odd little pokemon there, there was just a small piece of clothing.

    Luxray, terrified, yowled, "A ghost! MEEEEOW!" as he attempted to run up a lampstand, but only succeeded in knocking it over. Luxray continued yowling as he ran up the stairs and hid under the bed.

    "What happened?! What scared Luxray?!" said Caden, shocked by his pokemon's sudden reaction.

    Jocelyn told him, "Honey, calm down. Scaredy Cat frightened Rutia, so she escaped using Shadow Sneak. That Shadow Sneak is what spooked Scaredy."

    Jocelyn then said, "Don't worry, Rutia. You can come out now."

    Rutia materialized.

    She had never used a move before, and was surprised with herself.

    Rutia couldn't wait to show Morrie her newfound skill!

    Okay, if anyone reads this, please comment, and especially tell me if I should do:

    (A) End this arc and skip a few years ahead. (Possibly beginning the PG-13 stuff, but that might be the arc after next).

    Or, (B) Continue with this boring arc that I only really intended as an exposition of the characters.

    PS: The bit with the clothes will be important later in the story.
    Last edited by Hadesiro; 17th February 2011 at 11:11 AM.

  9. #9
    EL-OH-EL Italics's Avatar
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Howdy do to you! My corrections are in yellow, my comments in bold. Cool? -- Italics

    Your grammar and spelling and all that are fine, but your formatting is off (unless you're going for some kind of poetry) and you tend to space things that don't need spacing.

    There's not much action in this chapter, but I guess that's because the chapter is too small. I'd suggest combining this chapter with another for more flow and action.

    Keep going, dude, everything's cool.

    Also, my fan fics, my episode recaps, and my reviewing badge.

  10. #10
    Savage Rain!
    Join Date
    Dec 2010

    Default Re: Rutia. (Original Story, PG 13)

    Quote Originally Posted by Italics View Post
    Howdy do to you! My corrections are in yellow, my comments in bold. Cool? -- Italics

    Your grammar and spelling and all that are fine, but your formatting is off (unless you're going for some kind of poetry) and you tend to space things that don't need spacing.

    There's not much action in this chapter, but I guess that's because the chapter is too small. I'd suggest combining this chapter with another for more flow and action.

    Keep going, dude, everything's cool.

    Well, I never really intended it as an action story, but more of a mystery/creepy romance. (But there will be battle scenes later, along with the romance, as well.)

    And as for the thing about Aeric's thoughts in the beginning, this story is set around 40 years after the Cinnabar eruption that occured between game Generations I and II.

    I wanted there to be a logical reason that people returned to Cinnabar, so assurance that they would be able to get off the island before the eruption started at all seemed like the best thing.

    But, if you still think it's unneeded, I'll edit it out, or try to fit it in somewhere else.

    If you think that instead of writing a chapter a day, I should write a bigger one every couple of days, I'll give that a try.

    Thanks for the review!


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