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Thread: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

  1. #16
    Registered User Fireheart's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Uneventful except the FBI part , but it was still pretty good

  2. #17
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Chapter 5, just barely before the deadline:

    Chapter 5 - Into the New Year



    Chapter length: 2,276 words
    Running total: 10,381 words (20.76% to the goal)
    Time left: 25/30 days (83.33% left; Total: 104.09%)

    I lied; it didn't really rocket us to 1968, but it did take us there.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  3. #18
    Registered User Fireheart's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    That was suprising, I defintely didn't think Donovan would get a Vulpix. I actually thought he would get a Growlithe first...
    Donovan's mom is also very intriguing.

  4. #19
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Quote Originally Posted by Fireheart View Post
    That was suprising, I defintely didn't think Donovan would get a Vulpix. I actually thought he would get a Growlithe first...
    Hmm, what made you think that?
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  5. #20
    Registered User Fireheart's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Because it was a dog and dogs are normal pets, unlike a fox. (At least I think...)

  6. #21
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    I have to say I didn't like the Canada chapter as much as the ones preceding it. Although I did like the term 'extravagantly simple'.

    I just felt that not as much as happened as well as it feeling a little contrived.

    I hope there's a long term reason for the weed/LSD experience because it felt a little forced. There was no clear reason for the hippies to invite Donovan to join them and there didn't seem to be much of a point to it in the short term.

    Also, at this time, were American and Canadian dollars interchangeable? I know they're not now but I thought perhaps in the sixties they were and that's why Donovan was able to pay in one and get change in the other?

    Also, at one point you used 'inevitable' instead of 'inevitably', or perhaps the other way around. I can't remember which now.

    The introduction of Vulpix was really clever though, I thought. Particularly since it is said that they start with just one tail. The introduction of its fire breathing was clever too, although I was surprised that Donovan's parents didn't suspect from the very beginning that Vulpix was a Pokemon mutant.

    Anyway, this is a great story and now Donovan has left home. Every boy leaves home some day and I'm glad we've gotten to that point =] Can't wait to read more!

  7. #22
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gastly's Mama View Post
    I have to say I didn't like the Canada chapter as much as the ones preceding it. Although I did like the term 'extravagantly simple'.

    I just felt that not as much as happened as well as it feeling a little contrived.

    I hope there's a long term reason for the weed/LSD experience because it felt a little forced. There was no clear reason for the hippies to invite Donovan to join them and there didn't seem to be much of a point to it in the short term.
    Well, that's what you get when you try writing a fic in a month. Some parts are left unhooked. :P Honestly, at the beginning of formulating the idea for this fic, I hadn't realized that it was Canada's centennial year. Chapter 4 was more of an afterthought, and I decided to make use of it by making it the place where Donovan had his first trip.

    But yeah, the long term reason is that after Donovan's LSD experience, he feels more sympathetic to things in general. You could say he "realized his true self".

    Also, the hippies don't need a reason; they just see him, a person his age not in the hippie movement (which was pretty rare), and invite him to join them for the first time.

    Also, at this time, were American and Canadian dollars interchangeable? I know they're not now but I thought perhaps in the sixties they were and that's why Donovan was able to pay in one and get change in the other?
    1 CAD = 0.925 USD back then. Today it's over, but... you get the idea. :D

    Also, at one point you used 'inevitable' instead of 'inevitably', or perhaps the other way around. I can't remember which now.
    It was as you said. Hmm, I thought I had put "inevitably".

    The introduction of Vulpix was really clever though, I thought. Particularly since it is said that they start with just one tail. The introduction of its fire breathing was clever too, although I was surprised that Donovan's parents didn't suspect from the very beginning that Vulpix was a Pokemon mutant.
    Well, it was because it had only one tail. Donovan's mother knew that some breeds were really strange.

    Anyway, this is a great story and now Donovan has left home. Every boy leaves home some day and I'm glad we've gotten to that point =] Can't wait to read more!
    Glad you like it, but I didn't have a chapter yesterday T_T (I'll have one for today for sure.)
    Last edited by Zekurom; 7th June 2011 at 08:02 AM.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  8. #23
    ^^ Safe-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Nice. I've read the five chapters and they're great. I loved the way you introduce Pokemon as mutants.

    COMING SOON!

  9. #24
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    This is very good, especially for being such a fast-paced project. I agree, the concept of the Poke-mutants is awesome, and the quality is exactly what I would expect out of you, Zek.

  10. #25
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Thanks for the comments, guys.

    However, this thread will probably be the only thread I post in for the next month or so, and then I'm gone from here for good.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  11. #26
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Rise of Silph (SuBuWriMo; 16)

    Thanks for the comments, guys.

    However, this thread will probably be the only thread I post in for the next month or so, and then I'm gone from here for good.

    @ the people running the SuBuWriMo: I also forfeit whatever award I would have gotten for the SuBuWriMo. If users want to put it up for the summer awards, that's still fine by me.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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