29th December 2012, 06:53 PM #1
This is a story I have decided to write, I really like to write! So, comment if you like, but nothing criticizing please.
This is a story about a young Eevee named Alyese's journey to the Pokemon league to find a great trainer to raise her into a strong Pokemon, and meets many friends and enemies along the way. Nothing bad, anybody can read. My first story, wow! I will be adding on once in a while when I get inspired, so it is a Work In Progress, or WIP. Alyese is a female Eevee who is level 25 and has a fair move set. Quick attack, Attract, Bite, and Wish are what she starts out with.
Alyese licked down her matted, light brown fur and padded on to her destination; The Pokemon League. "I wonder if I will everfind a trainer who can put up with me," She thought with wonder kindling inside her. Alyese looked up at the sun glaring back down at her, it's ultra-violet rays piercing the earth. "I need to find some shady shelter, it is too hot to be outside." She muttered under her breath. She finally settled under a willow tree and found some moss to sleep on. "Life is good!" She exclaimed when licking the wet fronds of some wet moss she found along with her dry moss. Alyese tasted the air and scented another Pokemon, not another Eevee. She heaved herself up to look from where the ever so sweet scent was coming from. "Wait, I am so stupid! They are using sweet scent to disguise their scent!" Just then, a Pokemon jumped on her, its eyes flashing with playfulness, obviously a baby Pokemon. Alyese got up, noticing it couldn't hold her down. The baby Pokemon rolled off of her, it's eyes gleaming for another game. "Hello! What's your name?' Alyese asked the younger Pokemon, hoping it would tell her what kind it is. "I am Solaris, and I am a Pichu!" Alyese noticed it was male. "Well, what's your name and what are you?" Solaris persisted. "Oh," Alyese continued. "I am Alyese, and I am an Eevee. Where is your caretaker?" Alyese continued, thinking she could be taken in by his trainer. "I don't have one, I am a free Pokemon and loving it!" Solaris squeaked.
6th January 2013, 07:07 PM #2
Let's get funky!
A really cool idea for a story. I've actually never read anything about a Pokemon trying to find a trainer for itself before. I'll be interested to see where this goes. I quite like how Alyese is fairly animalistic in nature, while at the same time clearly an intelligent being: that's often a difficult balance for Pokemon fanfic writers to strike. I often see Pokemon being portrayed as either completely human or completely animal, which is not the impression of them I get from the game. You do it really well though!
I would advise you to leave a blank line before each time a new character speaks though. This is a fairly standard rule in writing, though not universal. It's quite important here though because the way the Forums format posts can make them quite difficult to read and doing that really makes it easier.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more of this! Keep up the good work!