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  1. #1
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Exclamation Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 4 Up!


    With this fanfic beginning properly on Saturday, I've decided to post a preview. This is purely to gain interest and see if I should carry on with it.
    I have a full story planned out, so all that's left to do is actually write it.

    Pokemon VDD - Triple Trouble

    “Pignite! Use Flame Charge!” shouted Ronin as the round fiery pig ran, jumped and charged into the enemy Pokemon.
    “Buizel, fight back with Aqua Jet” commanded the gym leader calmly and the weasel Pokemon blasted into Pignite. The two made contact and there was a huge blue and red explosion of fire and water that then turned into a steamy fog.
    Pignite was knocked out, and Buizel was trembling on the battlefield
    Ronin had one Pokemon left, and Buizel still had a great deal of health left.
    “Well, this is it. I choose you, Vaporeon!” yelled Ronin and he lobbed his Pokeball with determination.
    A blue cat like Pokemon came out. It had fins around its head and a long tail.
    “Vaporeon, Double Team, then follow it up with a Shadow Ball!” screamed Ronin. Vaporeon then quickly duplicated itself and surrounded Buizel. Buizel looked around confused and kept shooting blasts of water at Vaporeon. Dark orbs then appeared from Vaporeon’s mouth and shot at Buizel. Buizel flew forward and into the wall. It slid down the wall and slumped onto the floor.
    The timer ran out, and the blue haired gym leader called Buizel back into its Pokeball and walked proudly towards Ronin.
    “Nice one, you deserve this Tri Badge”
    “Thanks Cress, that battle was awesome!” said Ronin.
    Ronin walked out of the door and adjusted his white fringe, zipped up his black coat and pulled his red jeans up as he dashed straight towards Route 3.

    “Hey! Ronin!” shouted a voice in the distance
    “Oh, hey Hideki” Ronin replied. A short boy ran towards Ronin. He had green hair, a black vest covered by a green military jacket, baggy black jeans and red trainers.
    “Dude, did you get the Tri Badge?”
    “You’d better believe it, it was down to my Vaporeon and his Buizel and my special combo beat him”
    “You have to use other strategies you know Ronin...” sighed Hideki
    Ronin turned his head and carried on walking, as Hideki ran beside him and tried to grab his attention.
    “Where are you going Ronin?”
    “To Nacrene City, I hear it has a decent gym”
    “You don’t need Pignite to get stronger, Ronin”
    Ronin stopped and turned directly towards Hideki
    “Hideki, when have I ever made a bad decision? I know Pignite is powerful already, but it can get better, and I won’t stop training until it can’t get any better. Besides, I want Pignite to evolve soon.”
    Ronin paused and carried on walking, and then Hideki stopped him
    “Hey! I have an idea, how about we train together!”
    “Hm?” Ronin stopped again and turned quickly to Hideki and smirked
    “Good idea man, but not here, let’s race to the dojo and whoever wins gets the first turn”
    “Ok! Let’s go!”

    Ronin ran into the Nacrene City training dojo and Hideki was nowhere to be seen. He looked in every room, behind the crates, beaded curtains and even in the small training garden at the back, but Hideki was still not there.
    Ronin then heard an explosion coming from outside. He jumped, hesitated a little then dashed outside to see what made the explosion.
    A large helicopter had landed and crushed the Pokemon Centre. It was black, and had a logo on the side. It was a red circle with a white shield in the middle.
    Men in black coats and blacked out glasses walked out of the helicopter and walked towards someone wriggling inside an old torn up body bag. They dragged the bag up to the helicopter and shut the doors.
    Ronin watched in shock as the shady looking men disappeared in a thick grey fog and left behind a gang of giant, venomous snakes with large fangs and a pointed tail
    “OH MY GOD, SEVIPER” screamed one of the citizens
    The whole town fled in panic as the Seviper chased them out.
    Ronin then had an odd sensation
    “What the hell... what’s this... I...” his voiced got slower, his eyes grew heavier, and then he fell to the ground...

    To Be Continued
    Constructive criticism welcome. Just criticism not welcome.
    Last edited by Branellope; 18th February 2012 at 03:58 AM.

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  2. #2
    Who am I? Joshawott's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) [Preview]

    Well...that's an awfully short preview (and seems like a rather odd extract to choose). If you were planning on posting the first chapter on Saturday...might have been best to wait until then?

    As for the preview itself. I feel that it could need a fair bit more exposition. More detail about the characters, their movements, their reactions.

  3. #3
    Registered User Twig's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) [Preview]

    It definitely needs more detail. Remember to show and don't just tell.

    Don't just tell me Pignite was knocked out. Show description of Pignite tumbling down, grunting before his eyelids close, or struggling to get back up before falling down once again. Don't just tell me that Buizel was extremely weak. Show that he was standing, but still quivered from the clash or that he was breathing heavily. Those are just some ways to show instead of tell. There's many other ways to do this as well.

    Also, helpful to make those description more colorful by using literary devices, more adjectives, and more adverbs. This sentence, "the two made contact and there was an explosion of fire and water," isn't very good. This would be a perfect time to describe things such as color, but I don't think you understood the engagement. I'm don't think fire and water would actually explode if they collided.

    I'd recommend using a thesaurus to find better replacements for boring words.

    Also, this preview doesn't reveal much. All I see is a trainer fic. If it isn't just a trainer fic, you should probably replace the preview with something else that shows the forming plot or the conflict.
    Joshawott and Branellope like this.

  4. #4
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) [Preview]

    The plot develops throughout episode 1. The preview is literally the first paragraph, which is to be edited by Saturday.
    It'll be a slightly short episode, but I'll be writing constantly and there'll be a new episode every 2 weeks.
    I'm also polishing everything and adding more detail, so yeah, it'll be much better.
    Believe it or not, this is actually how the episode opens XD

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

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    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
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    Registered User CyberPika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) [Preview]

    I will ignore your asshole comment on my thread and give you a real review even tho u don't deserve it.

    Your preview is okay but needs far more. It is just commands back and forth without anything else no description about what else is going on. Pretty boring to tell you the truth.

    Keep trying.
    Pika to the mofoing Chu!

  6. #6
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) [Preview]

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberPika View Post
    I will ignore your asshole comment on my thread and give you a real review even tho u don't deserve it.

    Your preview is okay but needs far more. It is just commands back and forth without anything else no description about what else is going on. Pretty boring to tell you the truth.

    Keep trying.
    I really feel sorry for you with that attitude. It's so pathetic, immature and laughable.
    You can't give a review anyway with such a terribly written fanfic where all the "chapters" you've posted so far could make the first two pages on your average children's book.
    I think your insults and posts need more thought and less 7 year old winey "I want my mummy now" attitude.

    Keep trying.

    In other news, the first episode is up here

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  7. #7
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 1 Up!

    I know it's a whole 6 days early but I finished episode 2 and I'm feeling generous. Besides, I can take a 3 day break now and start writing ep3 on Wednesday in time to post it on saturday.

    Pokemon VDD Episode 2: The Escape

    In a large, white, dimly lit room, Ronin was lying unconscious. He was strapped down on a metal table with a bag of Oran berries in his mouth to gag him. Next to him was a body bag strapped down in the same way Ronin was. The body was still awake, struggling and shouting. Then, as if from nowhere, a tall man wearing a lab coat and face mask appeared from a dark corner of the room and walked towards Ronin.
    “Hey guy, you feelin’ ok?” said the man as he slapped Ronin and unstrapped the gag
    “Huh? What... what’s going on?”Mumbled Ronin
    “You were sleeping. Anyway, while you remember yourself, I’ll remove Chreg from the body bag”
    “Chreg? I thought... never mind, I just thought it was someone else” Said Ronin still with his eyes half open
    “Nah dude, Hideki’s long gone”
    “So... you knew who I was looking for?”
    “I know lots of things... I know that you were in Nacrene City when the KERO bomb went off”
    “KERO? What does that stand for?” Asked Ronin
    “I’ve already said too much, all I can give you is my name and anything that doesn’t concern... the gang”
    “You mean those guys that blew up Nacrene City?”
    “Exactly, I can’t reveal their name to you”
    “Dude, can you at least give me your name?”
    “You’re keen aren’t you Ronin, ok, my name is Takeshi”
    “Nice to meet you Takeshi; Is there any chance you could cut this rope now? I’m sure Chreg’s had enough, he knocked himself out while he was in there”
    “Fine, although you can easily cut it yourself by summoning that sword of yours”
    Takeshi walked over to Ronin and cut the thick rope that was holding him down on the table with a short metal blade
    “Thanks dude...” Ronin paused and remembered what Takeshi had just said to him
    “Wait a minute, my sword? What sword?”
    “That sword that’s been on your back since you arrived”
    “I didn’t even notice? I did feel something dragging me down when I fell asleep in the city earlier though”
    “Earlier? Ronin, you’ve been here for three days now, I’m surprised you’re not dead. You and Chreg must have been eating those berries in your sleep, I’m surprised you two aren’t dead yet”
    “THREE DAYS? We’ve been here for THREE WHOLE DAYS?”
    “Not three whole days, more like 59 hours, it’s only 7:57 AM”
    “Right, but back to the main point, my sword?”
    “I can’t tell you, you’ll have to discover it for yourself, the answers are right before you”
    “Gee thanks Takeshi, I’ll wake Chreg up and leave this strange place now”
    Ronin then slapped Chreg and ripped the body bag off.
    The bag came off to reveal a teenager with black stubble, messy black hair, plain blue hooded top and grey jeans that matched the colour of his trainers.
    Chreg woke up and immediately smacked Ronin in the face. He looked around, Takeshi had vanished and Ronin was on the floor.
    “Well, I guess I gotta take this guy out... heh, should be fun” Chreg said to himself as he picked Ronin up, drew a black shotgun from a holster in his jeans and held it close to his face as he cautiously ran out of the room.

    Chreg eventually found the exit, walked out and realised that the building was in fact a research facility in the middle of the desert.
    He stared for a while before finally making his move through the huge sandy wasteland.
    He happened upon a lake near the facility and stopped to have a drink. He then splashed water in Ronin’s face to wake him up.
    Ronin finally came around
    “Where the hell am I now? The last thing I remember is... you punching me... you idiot! What was that for?”
    “Sorry kid, I guess it was automatic, I guess I just hoped it was one of the gang members”
    “Fair enough... anyway, why are we on Route 4?” said Ronin
    “So that’s where we are? I thought it looked familiar... so that means that Castelia City is just south of here right?”
    “Yep, that’s right, and Nimbasa City is just north, and that’s where I gotta go next”
    “Cool, I need Castelia City, so I guess we can part here then?”
    “Yeah ok, but we’ll meet again right?”
    “Course we will Ronin, and when we do we can have a swordfight”
    “Yeah, about these swords, how do I actually use it? I assume it’s not as simple as just drawing it and slashing at my opponent”
    “It sort of is, but there’s other stuff too”
    “Like what?”
    “Every sword has a special power, the power to harness your Pokemon’s abilities”
    “What? Are you kidding me?” Ronin had a shocked yet excited look on his face
    “Not at all, but you’ll have to know how to fuse. What’s the Pokemon closest to you?”
    “Umm... my Pignite, it was my first Pokemon”
    “If that’s the case, Pignite can lend its power to your sword. If you have any more questions, there’s a guy in Nimbasa City who can teach you all about it, it’s vital if you want to win the battle tournament in the Battle Subway, learning how to use your sword is vital”
    “There’s a battle tournament? Ok! I’m not waiting any longer, later Chreg”
    “Bye... christ that kid’s impatient”

    Ronin arrived in Nimbasa City and paused for a moment as he looked around in awe at the big lights, tall building and attractions that surrounded the city.
    “Ok, time to find this sword guy” he said to himself.
    He looked around and walked up to a civilian
    “Um, excuse me, but would you happen to know where the guy is who teaches you about swords and stuff?”
    “Yeah, if you go to the subway, there should be a grey house right next to it. That’s the guy you want”
    “Cheers dude”
    Ronin walked over to the grey house and knocked on the wooden door, there was no answer. He tried again, still no answer. He turned the cold metal handle and the door opened.
    “Hello? Sword guy, are you there?” Ronin shouted, but still no-one responded.
    He turned the light on and noticed something strange on the stairs. He had a closer look, and jumped back in shock when he realised it was a dead body.
    The face was being recognisable, there were bruises on the man’s bald head, and he wore a blood stained long brown jacket that covered most of his jeans. His trainers were black with more dried blood stains.
    Ronin hesitated, stepped back and at the top of his voice screamed
    “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”

    To Be Continued...

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    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  8. #8
    sink. an illegible mess.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 2 Up!

    hmmm... i'm confused for the most part. the episodes are going way too fast and they don't explain much. the characters aren't fleshed out enough either.

    also, just a note, always press the enter key twice when you make a new paragraph; it's easier to read that way. also, the episodes are a little short and having them in quote boxes makes the text very small and i can barely read anything.

    i also suggest a little more of description here and there.

    otherwise, i'm curious about where this story will lead. it seems like it's a trainer fic, but i want to know what makes it different from the other trainer fics here.

    keep it up.

  9. #9
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 2 Up!

    Cheers. The characters really develop as the story goes, and there are a fair few background stories so you get the characters.
    I may write up official character bios too, because at the moment we only know that Ronin has Pignite and Vaporeon.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  10. #10
    Registered User CyberPika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 2 Up!

    A suggestion: space out the paragraphs please so this isn't just a big jumble of text. Also I think it is going to fast and needs more development and describing.
    Pika to the mofoing Chu!

  11. #11
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 2 Up!

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberPika View Post
    A suggestion: space out the paragraphs please so this isn't just a big jumble of text. Also I think it is going to fast and needs more development and describing.
    I'm not trying to be horrible or anything, but I REALLY don't think you should post any advice or suggestions about how to write a better fanfic. Besides, you're not welcome on my thread after that stupid post of yours.

    Thanks.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  12. #12
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 2 Up!

    Ok. I can never set a specific day, so I'm gonna go ahead and say that certainly by the end of Sunday (Monday at the VERY latest), Episode 3 will be up.
    I'll give you a teaser.

    In Episode 3, we see how Chreg grew up, and part of a great disaster he experienced when he was a small child.
    We see who destroyed Nacrene City, and we have a brief appearance from someone VERY important...
    Karen also debuts.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  13. #13
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 2 Up!

    Ok, I ran out of room for one and a half things I mentioned in my above post, but nevertheless, episode 3 is now here!
    I got excited myself while writing it, and I think it's by far the best episode yet. I hope you all enjoy it.
    I've decided to release each episode every Saturday now. I'll start writing episode 4 right away, and relax until Saturday evening. It's been a good week.

    Pokemon VDD Episode 3 - Pignite! Lend Me Your Power!


    Chreg had arrived in Castelia City. The city was a colossal metropolis with tall skyscrapers everywhere and busy locals everywhere you looked.
    “Ok, I believe the gym is right down... that road!” Chreg said to himself as he walked briskly towards his destination.
    Chreg walked inside the gym, but all the lights were turned off. He couldn’t see a thing.
    “Welcome to my fabulous gym!” An echoed voice shouted
    “This is the gym of bug types, challenge me if you dare”
    “What the hell...” Chreg muttered
    “Where are you? This is weird”
    “Oh, sorry, I’ll just... turn the lights on!”
    The lights suddenly came on, and Chreg was in what looked like a giant honeycomb. There were walls made of honey that surrounded a massive floating battlefield. There were small bee-like Pokemon fluttering around everywhere, and in the grass below were many caterpillars and worms.
    “What the... have you got bug Pokemon LIVING in your gym?” Chreg sounded surprised and impressed at the same time
    “Fabulous isn’t it? The Caterpie can eat and grow, Sewaddle can sleep and sew, Wurmple can shine and glow, and the Weedle and Combee can sting and... Well I can’t think of another rhyme but don’t you just LOVE it?!”
    “Ok dude, whatever you say, can we just battle?”
    “Absolutely hun, let’s go!”

    Meanwhile, in Nimbasa City, there were police surrounding the house where the swordsman once lived. His body had been taken away for examination and Ronin was still in shock
    “Hey kid, can we have your name and fingerprint?” Said a policeman
    “It’s regulations, we don’t believe you did it because you called us, but we have to take names and fingerprints from everyone in the city”
    “Yeah... fair enough... I’m Ronin Lavine”
    “Thanks kid, now just stick your finger down on this stamp”
    As Ronin gave the policeman his fingerprint, a girl with red hair, glasses and a black suit came running up
    “I came here as fast as I could, Ronin are you ok?”
    “Karen? You took your time, where were you?”
    “Sorry, I was in Mistralton City, I had to fly when I saw your text”
    “I texted you like a an hour ago”
    “I was in a tournament, but you didn’t answer my question, are you ok?”
    “Yeah I’m fine Karen... thanks”

    Karen and Ronin were sat down on a bench eating Casteliacones when a strange man walked up to them
    “Are you Ronin Lavine and Karen Carmine?”
    “What’s it to you?” Karen stood up and faced the man. He was concealed by a large black cape and a black top hat
    “It’s everything to me, I have been searching for you for a long time, and I know you just can’t resist a crisis. It took three disasters to find you Karen”
    “I don’t care... how do you know I’m definitely Karen anyhow?”
    “I just know... those eyes, they’re like your father’s, and you share that same stern look like your mother...”
    “You... knew my parents? Who the hell are you?”
    “You’re a tricky one Karen. I suppose knowing my first name can’t hurt. My name is Dorian, and I want to know how you came to manipulate the power of the legendary Pokemon”
    “I did WHAT? I didn’t manipulate ANY power, I have no idea what you’re talking about, no piss off you creepy little man”
    “My my, I dislike your tone... how about to you sit down and allow Ronin there to explain how and why he escaped from the facility on Route 4”
    Ronin and Karen both looked shocked
    “You... how did you...”
    “Hush my friend; I know more than you will want me to know; now Karen, you will come with me”
    “No I won’t! The police are still here, I can have you arrested!” Karen screamed
    Dorian grabbed Karen’s arm and began to run away
    “GET OFF HER YOU MONSTER!!” Ronin bellowed at the top of his voice
    Dorian stopped in his tracks and turned around. Ronin had a sharp white look in his eyes accompanied by an evil grin. He then started glowing and breathing heavily
    “What the hell are you doing?” Dorian was worried, but didn’t want to show it.
    Karen looked at Ronin and smiled
    “What am I doing? Ha! Can’t you see it? How can you not see it?”
    Pignite then appeared out of its Pokeball and started turning a different colour.
    There was a sudden burst of red light, and then a silent, haunting fog.
    Ronin’s silhouette could be seen, his eyes were glowing red, and he looked like he was carrying something
    “Pignite, lend me your power!” Ronin commanded. Pignite then disappeared in an orange flash, and a spiral of fire surrounded Ronin. Ronin then drew his sword, and the sword absorbed the fire
    “He’s... He’s a demon!” shouted Dorian
    “Hehehe, and like a demon I will show you an eternity of pain!”
    Ronin ran at Dorian, clearing some of the fog, and drove his sword straight into Dorian’s chest
    “My my, how un-expected...” Dorian said as he exploded into black ashes. Karen fell to the floor. The fog had completely cleared, and Karen was unconscious.
    “Karen, you ok? Wake up” Ronin tried to wake her up but he couldn’t
    “Aw man, not another one...”

    “Vespiquen! Bug Buzz one more time!”
    A large bee that appeared to be wearing a honey-comb dress flew towards Chreg’s Gliscor
    “Gliscor, Metal Claw!” Chreg commanded as his enormous purple scorpion readied its sturdy claws and flew with maximum velocity at Burgh’s Vespiquen. There’s was an explosion as the two crashed into each other. They lost balance and fell to the floor.
    “This can’t be happening, I’ve never lost with Gliscor before, this can’t be happening!” Chreg panicked as he started to remember what his dad told him as he left home with a Gligar for the first time...

    Chreg was 10 years old; he jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to his parents waiting at the kitchen table
    “Happy birthday son” said his dad
    “We know how much you like to watch Gligarman on the TV, so we thought that we’d get you an extra special present as your first Pokemon”
    Chreg’s mum gave him a black Pokeball and smiled
    “Is it... is it what I think it is?” Asked Chreg excitedly
    “Touch the button and find out Chreg” replied his dad
    Chreg touched the button in the middle of the Pokeball and stared in awe as a Pokemon appeared in a brilliant white flash
    “Wow wow wow wow WOW! It’s a real Gligar!!” Chreg jumped up and down and hugged his new Pokemon
    “Now honey, I’ve organised with Professor Elm for you to go down there today and get your Pokédex, because today you become a Pokemon trainer!”
    “Thank you so much mom!”
    “And we’ve organised for George to come over and have your very first battle with you”
    “I thought he was going back to Unova today”
    “He is, but his mom said that she couldn’t let your best friend miss your first day as a Pokemon trainer”
    “Oh wow! This is awesome!”
    “Now, Chreg, your dad has something he wants to say to you”
    “Um... ok...” Chreg seemed puzzled
    “Now, when you’re in a Pokemon battle, you aren’t always going to win, but you have to remember that even in a tight spot, there’s always a way”
    “Thanks dad! I’ll remember that forever and ever and ever!”
    Chreg’s parents chuckled
    “Now go on son, Professor Elm is waiting for you”
    Chreg jumped and ran upstairs to get changed
    “Do you think he’s ready for a Gligar yet Byron? I mean, normally you’d start with a Cyndaquil or Totodile, or even something easier to train like Chikorita, but a Gligar?”
    “Don’t worry Jemma, he’ll be fine. Gligar is his favourite Pokemon. Besides, he practised with our neighbour’s Houndour from the age of seven”
    “I guess you’re right...”
    Chreg was listening from upstairs, he was happy to have parents that trusted him with a Pokemon like Gligar.

    “My dad told me that there was always a way to win”
    “Come on Slowpoke! You’re not even Slowpoke, you’re Slowking!” Teased Burgh
    “Gliscor, toxic!” shouted Chreg
    “Oh, that’s nasty”
    Burgh was in a corner, his Vespiquen weak and poisoned
    “Now Gliscor, double team!” Gliscor swiftly duplicated itself so Vespiquen couldn’t see it
    “Vespiquen use power gem!” Vespiquen took the diamond from its body and scattered it in every direction.
    One gem hit Gliscor caused it to be thrown against the wall
    “This is not good... this isn’t good at all... Ok think quickly...” Chreg then glanced over to Vespiquen who was struggling
    “I’ve got it! Gliscor double team again!”
    “I wonder what this kid’s playing at...” Burgh wondered
    “Vespiquen, use Power Gem once more!”
    “Protect!” Said Chreg confidently
    Gliscor and its double team clones formed a barrier and stopped the attack
    “That’s the way to do it! Now use Metal Claw one more time!”
    Gliscor flew toward Vespiquen and struck it with its heavy claw.
    Vespiquen flew through air and hit Burgh in the face. Burgh fell to the ground below.
    “Looks like I win!”
    “You... the... over... the badge... here...” Muttered Burgh
    “Come on, I’ll get you up”
    Chreg called Gliscor back into its Pokeball and jumped down to Burgh.
    He grabbed Burgh’s hand and helped him up
    “Sorry about that”
    “No problem challenger, it was a fun battle”
    Burgh walked Chreg outside and handed over the gym badge
    “Here, you earned it. How many badges do you have now?”
    “I have one... two... that’s my fifth badge. My next battle is in Driftveil City”
    “Fabulous, I’ll see you again...”
    “The name’s Chreg, remember it”
    “Ok Chreg, see you around!”
    Chreg walked down the road, stopped, took in a deep breath and ran as fast as he could.

    Meanwhile, in a giant tower, four trainers were sat round a table
    “Steven, Gary, Cynthia, Lance. As Alder has stepped down, which one of these should we recruit to challenge us for champion position?” Said one of the trainers
    “It’s ridiculous to assume that we’ll go for a champion from another region Shauntel. How about someone different, someone refreshing?”
    “Ok Caitlin, what about a gym leader or a Frontier Brain? After all, it’s not like it’s unnatural for regions to recruit people like that, you were a Frontier Brain once”
    “I have a suggestion” said a deep voice from the corner
    “Oh? Who could you possibly have in mind Grimsley?”
    Grimsley didn’t reply, he simply laughed
    “I don’t see what’s so funny, but since neither of you two can suggest anything, let’s turn to Marshal”
    “Nah not me, I’m no good at this”
    “You and I are the only sane ones. Caitlin is still uneasy”
    “Fine, how about...”
    “I think Tucker from the Battle Pike near Hoenn” Grimsley interrupted
    “Interesting...” Shauntel sounded intrigued
    “I think we should have somebody completely new, like a trainer from this very region. It’s less awkward for other regions to organise their Leaders and Frontier Brains, I still think Caitlin should’ve stayed in the Battle Frontier, I don’t like May as a brain...”
    “Why Marshal, your tone has changed, and that’s also not a bad idea. Let’s look for a new trainer for our league!”
    “It’s settled, we’ll send the scouters out tonight to track performances in gym battles” Said Caitlin
    “So no Tucker then... well I guess it’s for the best, we already have one gay leader, we don’t want Tucker to join Burgh and form some strange relationship”
    “You forget Grimsley, even if Tucker arrived over here, he’d be hurting Hoenn’s valiant Prince Harley”
    “I don’t think Harley’s either way... he dresses like a Maractus... he must have a thing for cactus Pokemon” Marshal remarked
    “Ok, enough playing around, we’re not going to find a new champion by establishing gay coupled and potential furries, we need to get to work” Grimsley sounded serious and confident
    “Ok, let’s resume our posts and only stop to battle challengers” Commanded Shauntel
    “I’m on it!” Caitlin shouted with excitement.
    Shauntel, Marshal, Grimsley and Caitlin left their table and walked into lifts in different corners of the room. After pressing their respective destinations commands, they turned and grinned at each other. The lifts went down, and the elite four proceeded to find their new champion.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  14. #14
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 3 Up!

    Ok, episode 4 is up tomorrow morning, as opposed to the night-time.
    Count yourselves lucky I'm not skipping it to watch Pokemon at 1:30 :P

    Know what? Gimme a minute, I'll release this episode in two parts due to the sheer magnitude of what happens.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

  15. #15
    THIS. IS. SEMPITERNAL. Branellope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon V - Destiny Discovery (VDD) - Episode 3 Up!

    Welcome boys and girls. I present to you Pokemon VDD Episode 4 Part 1. It's almost half the story, I decided to post this episode in two parts purely because I'm taking a small break what with this being the end of this story arc.

    Notable things to look out for:
    -A familiar character (quote the line that made you realize who it was)
    -Someone's in deep trouble...
    -Cold like ice? no clouds? Battle? If you work it out, tell me

    Pokemon VDD Episode 4 – Battle at the Unova Colosseum Part I


    In a dimly lit room, Grimsley was sat in a colossal gold throne. He was playing with his scarf with one hand, and fixing his black pointed hair with his other hand.
    His Xtranciever started ringing, so he opened it to see Shauntel frowning
    “Hey, vampire, nothing’s going to happen if you keep sitting there playing with your creepy clothes” she said
    “I’m bored, what do you expect me to do?”
    “Why don’t you LOOK for challengers, or at least go to the colosseum at the summit”
    “I suppose I could... to pass the time away...” Grimsley muttered
    “That’s the spirit, now if you’d excuse me, I have a challenger”
    “Before me? That’s not fair, we only started advertising yesterday”
    “Well, as I’ve always said, people like ghost Pokemon better”
    Grimsley closed the Xtranciever, rose up from his throne and made his way to a teleportation pad. It flashed bright blue, then Grimsley transported to the summit of the Unova Colosseum.
    “Hmm... seems different than normal...” Grimsley uttered under his breath.
    He opened up his Xtranciever and called Caitlin. There was a long wait before she answered
    “Hm? Oh, it’s you, what do you want?” Caitlin scolded
    “The Colosseum seems different Caitlin, the air is thicker and all the clouds have gone”
    “Is it warm outside?”
    “No, it’s freezing, like ice”
    “Well that’s weird... look Grimsley, I kinda wanna sleep since no-one’s challenged me yet, work it out for yourself”
    “Fine then, see you later” Grimsley closed the lid and walked around. He then heard a noise coming from far away
    “Ok, this is weird” He panicked, paused, and quickly called Shauntel
    “Come on please answer...” He started to worry
    “Urgh, Grimsley, I’m in the middle of a battle here”
    “I know, I’m sorry, but it’s an emergency. The air is ice cold, it’s thick as a fog and the clouds have gone. I also heard a cry”
    “Are you serious? Right, I’ll get Marshal and Caitlin while you get your Pokemon ready”
    “Roger that” Grimsley said as he reached for a Pokeball
    “Ok Spiritomb, it’s time to shine!” Cried Grimsley as he threw his Pokeball

    Meanwhile, Ronin had reached Driftveil City. He had Karen over his shoulder.
    “Hey, is there a doctor around here? I kinda need help” Ronin shouted as loud as he could. There was no answer.
    Ronin slugged through the city and saw a nearby lake.
    When he finally got there, he put Karen down and splashed her face with water. She didn’t wake up. He kept on trying, but Karen remained unconscious.
    Ronin sat down next to Karen and started wondering what to do.
    “Hey, are you alright there?” Said a gruff voice
    “Not really, my...” Ronin turned around to see a middle-aged man with tied back red hair and stubble, green shorts and black trainers
    “Haha, people always act like that when they see me”
    “So are you travelling again? I heard you took time off a couple years ago...”
    “Yep, travelling; In fact I’m about to go to the Orre region, I hear that they do things totally different over there”
    “Yeah, well I guess you have a lot of time on your hands when you’re not the champion anymore” Ronin chuckled
    “Anyway, can you help me...”
    “Alder, the name’s Alder”
    “Thanks, can you help me here Alder? She fainted and I haven’t been able to wake her up”
    “Here, I think I can help” Alder said as he took something out of his pocket and poured it over Karen’s face. She still didn’t wake up.
    “Well that’s weird... this normally works...” Alder began to worry.

    [SIZE=5]Check this wicked Pokémon battle AND this EPIC PR video.[SIZE]

    I claimed Noivern omg <3

    "A good trainer wins despite hinderances" - Serebii
    "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" - Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

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