20th November 2008, 08:25 PM #1
The small giant
Pokemon Red, Blue, and Green
Here is my new fic, a pokemon fic about the pokemon games, this may sometimes be too much game base, but every chapter have their own twist that I added, well enjoy.
Pokemon Red Green and Blue Chapter 1
Red’s adventure begins.
It’s another day in the great region of Kanto a region where human live at peace and share their lives with the creatures called pokemon creatures that have been in this world for a long time. Humans cooperate with them they use their powers to fight with them, some people raise them and some people investigate them. This and many more things surround the great world of pokemon.
In the middle of the forest there’s a town so peaceful were humans live along side with pokemon. Where everybody lives at peace they’re all friends and with no worries the. Streets doesn’t have a lot of cars, the stores are kinda empty and there’s not many people walking, this is the urban part of Pallet town and not many people come to visit. Considering that their more accustom to the calm part of the town.
Is in this part of town where a great legend is about to be born.
In the middle of town there are houses about two floors high. Each and every house has different colors roof considering that the houses itself are all white, but there is a special house between them all. It has a red fiery roof the whole house is compose of wood and metal this house is the home of a kid with a lot of dreams and a lot of courage. Now lets go inside.
Inside the house there’s a kitchen with an oven a refrigerator the usual the living room is also normal with a red couch and a tv in the other side. Up in the stairs there’s two rooms one of them has the room half open with no one inside and the other one has the door closed.
Inside the bedroom with the door close there’s a kid sleeping in a wood bed with flannel red sheets the room has a computer, a desk, its own TV, and a super Nintendo by the side of the TV.
The kid got up apparently it was early in the morning probably six since the sun was setting up. He got up he used a black shirt, he had white pale skin and black short hair. He went to his clothes cabinet and got out a red jacket with buttons on the top and bottom and white sleeves he also got out a red cap he put his jeans on they were aqua blue.
He also had black sneakers. His hat had a great design like his jacket it had red in the back and white in the front it also had some kind of gold button on the left but it was actually a pokeball the symbol of the pokemon league.
“wake up pikachu” he said to a basket that was on the other side of the room inside there was a pikachu sleeping.
“hey pikachu come on we’re late already, plus today is the day so hurry you lazy rat” the kid said.
The pikachu got up and went with his trainer and gave him a hug after that they heard the call from a woman.
“Red come down breakfast is ready.” The woman’s apparently Red’s mom.
“I am coming ma” Red yelled down his room.
He went down to the first floor, and saw his mom a woman with a red dress blue hair and a white apron he went to the kitchen and sat down to eat pikachu sat on the desk to eat it’s pokemon food.
“So today is the big day right Red I bet you are so happy, especially because you’re starting your journey today?” Red’s mom asks him smiling.
“Yeah me and pikachu are gonna go get our license today, so we have to hurry we’re already late.” Red responded to his mom getting pikachu up from the floor and left the house as his mom smiled.
“He’s a lot like you Richard” his mom starting crying but crying out of happiness.
As Red left his house he went to the backyard.
The backyard look like it needed a lot of cleaning there were aiming games with pokeballs marks on it. There was a lot of burn grass when Red walk through this he got static apparently pikachu had been practicing here. Red walk carefully so that he could get his bike, he finally got it. It was a green bike it was old and it looked like it had a long time since it was bought.
“Well lets go this would be our last time doing this, hopefully.” Red started riding out of his house he past through the floor from his front yard he picked up some papers and the left.
Red was the paper boy of Pallet town this is one of the reasons he was well known in Pallet, the other was that he is also one of the best known kids and one of the most funny in town.
He kept throwing the paper around he wasn’t very good with delivering newspapers cause he was always in a hurry. He past through a house bigger than the others it had three floors, and everything in the house was blue.
“The house I hate the most” Red growled as he threw the paper to the house.
The door open and three kids came out. The first one was a kid with kinda brown skin, a white t-shirt black shorts and black glasses, the other one was a girl with white skin pink skirt black t-shirt and white hair, and finally the last kid it was a kid with pale white skin like Red’s, he had a blue long sleeve shirt brown pants, brown shoes, and a pendant.
“Well look what the rat dragged in” the kid in the blue shirt started talking insulting him.
“Yeah the town loser, burn” the kid in the white shirt said.
“Com on guys we have better things to do remember Blue you have to get your pokemon today.” The girl with white hair turned to face the kid with the blue shirt.
“So your getting another pokemon ah Blue isn’t enough with your oh so rare evee.” Red comeback the kid in blue which was called Blue.
“Yeah I am different from you, I like to get ahead so that way with more rare pokemon I become stronger.” Blue spoke to Red as he left.
“It took Red thirty minutes till he was done delivering the paper.” He went to the last house also the house that he wanted to visit for the whole day, professor Oak’s lab.
A big yellow building made out of bricks and a brown roof.
“Okay lets go give professor Oak his paper and get our license.” Red got into the lab.
He saw a man around his sixties he wore a white coat, he had white hair, he also had a red undershirt and brown pants.
“Hey professor” he said as he enter the lab it was a big lab with a lot of desk there was a lot of machines including a pokemon transport machine and a pokemon analyzer.
“Oh hey Red nice to see you doing your usual” the professor turned around to face Red and he smiled at him.
“I came to get my license too.” Red answered to his question.
“OH right I forgot about that sorry here you go” Oak handed him a kinda red and orange color device.
“What’s that” Red asked looking at the machine. “It’s a pokedex Red I created it myself it can give you data of every pokemon you see and it also holds your trainer license.” Oak explained.
“Wow that’s so cool” he heard someone coming down it was Blue he was the professor’s grandson.
“Hey Red, looks like your paper run was fast wasn’t it.” Blue insulted Red with all his might this two have been rivals ever since they were in diapers.
“Shut up Blue I came to get my license and I got a pokedex too” Red yell at him.
“Oh com on even I got that my gramps created three pokedexes and he gave me one so don’t think that your special cause of that” Blue made a face. “Plus I got a squirtle how about that ha Red” Blue then threw his pokeball in the air and squirtle came out.
“You got a squirtle, hey professor can I get a starter pokemon too” Red asked the professor with a puppy dog face.
“Sure why not I still got a charmander and a boulbasour” professor Oak pointed at a desk nearby there where two pokeballs on it. “Make your pick Red.”
“Well this is a no brainer, I choose charmander” Red yelled while he pointed at charmander’s pokeball.
“Nice choice Red here you go.” The professor gave him the pokeball.
“Wow take a look at this pikachu we got a charmander” Red looked at pikachu who was smiling happily.
As Red was preparing to leave the house Blue stopped him. “Hey Red we both have starters so lets see which one’s stronger.”
“Your seriously challenging me, I been practicing for a year” Red turned around with a confident smile.
“Yeah but this are starters so they’re in the same level” Blue announced.
“Okay then I’ll accept your challenged” Red pointed at Blue with charmander’s pokeball.
They both were prepared to start their battle as they both assumed battle stand. “Okay are the trainers ready, start” professor Oak said.
“Pokeball go” they both yelled as they threw their pokeballs as the blinding light shine giving Red’s first battle a start.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Last edited by Flaze; 26th November 2008 at 12:28 AM.
23rd November 2008, 11:10 AM #2
The small giant
Gastly on errand
Red and Blue threw their pokeballs in the air as a charmander came out of Red’s pokeball and a Squirtle came out of Blue’s.
As the two pokemon met each others eyes they glared at each other, considering they were rivals cause of the type difference.
“Okay charmander I’m your new trainer Red, and I hope your prepare to have your first battle” Red gave charmander his hand so that they could shake but charmander just stared at squirtle.
“Looks like your charmander wants to cut the small talk, in that case I’ll start. Go squirtle use your water gun attack” Blue ordered his squirtle to use water gun an attack that uses a powerful stream of water to attack their opponent.
Charmander got hit hard cause of water gun this made it lose a lot of energy cause he also had to guard his tail constantly.
“In that case we’ll attack with this go use your ember attack” charmander let a bunch of fire bullets out of his mouth as they hit squirtle but they didn’t do a lot of damage.
“Hey Red remember the basics water defeats fire” Professor Oak yelled as Red constantly forgot about type advantages.
“I can’t believe I forgot, ah in that case go charmander use your headbutt attack” Red ordered desperately as charmander started hit squirtle in the heads making it fly a few inches away.
“Red, I got to admit your pretty good for an idiot that doesn’t know what his doing. Now your charmander is so close to squirtle a simple water gun could finish him off.” Blue smirked at Red.
“Shut up we’re gonna win this charmander use your bite attack” charmander bit squirtle in his right hand and hurt him a little.
Charmander then started scratching squirtle while squirtle kept using tackle.
“Go squirtle use your bubble attack” squirtle let out a field of bubbles which gave a lot of damage to charmander.
“Charmander use your flamethrower” charmander fired a stream of fire as it hit squirtle it burnt it’s shell. “squirtle use your water gun attack on the grass” squirtle fired a water gun in the grass it was kinda of a stupid move but the grass was so wet that charmander couldn’t step on it cause of his weakness.
“Charmander lets do this back again, use flamethrower on the grass.” Charmander used his flamethrower to burn the grass squirtle was jumping trying to extinguished the fire with his water gun.
“Squirtle no you have to get rid of the fire.” Blue yelled at squirtle.
“Charmander this is our chance, go use your headbutt one last time” Charmander ran as fast as it could as it hit hard on squirtle finally giving it the last blow.
“Yeah we won” Red jumped as he started dancing with pikachu and charmander for their first victory.
“Well I gotta say that was a fine battle Red you too Blue I’m very happy for you” Oak said as he came walking to both of them.
“Yeah but Red got lucky next time I’ll be the winner, I’m leaving bye gramps” Blue left the lab.
“That was friendly” Red told professor Oak as he started to say something to him.
“Hey Red your going to Viridian right” Oak ask.
“Yeah there’s a pokemon gym there so I’m gonna try to win the badge there, why” Red had a questioning look on his face.
“I want you to deliver something for me you see it has to do with the third person I assigned the third pokedex to” Oak gave Red the pokedex. “I want you to give it to that person, last I heard he was in Viridian, I’m trusting you with this Red” He then gave him a note.
“What’s this for” Red ask reading the note.
“Give that to my grand daughter Daisy she’ll give you the Kanto region map” Oak told him everything he had to do and then Red left.
He then went back to the Blue’s house. Girl with blonde hair, green shirt pink skirt and blue eyes came out. This girl was Daisy Blue’s sister she was one of the nicest cutest and smartest girls in town Red had a little crush on her himself but he could hide it well.
“Hey Red how are you” Daisy smiled at Red as he blushed.
“Hi… hi Daisy I came to get the Kanto map” Red was blushing all over and was stuttering.
“Oh yeah here it is” she gave him a yellow map as Red opened it he saw all the cities that Kanto had and the towns too.
“Thanks Daisy” Red told her he closed the map and he left a little happy to end his embarrassment.
It’s night and Red, pikachu, and charmander were eating in the forest as Red look at both his pokemon still couldn’t believe that he was finally a trainer. Hi father was a trainer but he died from falling off a cliff while trying to help someone, he could barely remember but he knew that being a trainer would help him learn more about him.
“Okay guys we’re done now time to go to bed. Tomorrow we should be in Viridian city and we should try to find the guy that’s suppose to have the third pokedex so good night” Red said to his pokemon as he returned them to his pokeball so that they could go to sleep.
In the middle of the night Red felt a little uneasy he was having nightmares about losing to Blue in a pokemon league match and losing his pokemon and becoming the loser of Pallet town something he kinda already was.
“Get out” Red yelled as a little black sphere cover by gas came out it was gastly.
“That’s a gastly” Red still felt a little sick cause of the nightmare but he was prepared. “Go pikachu” he threw pikachu’s pokeball in the air. “Now use your thunder shock” pikachu send a small beam of static that hit gastly and electrocuted him.
“Okay now for the pokeball” Red prepared to throw the pokeball but when he did another pokeball beat it to it and it catched gastly right in front of Red.
“What the heck was that” Red then saw Blue coming out of a tree as he was smiling. “Blue what are you doing here.”
“Catching a little pokemon” he started to spin the pokeball in his finger.
“I was gonna catch that” Red wined.
“Well we’re trainers now so the saying you snooze you lose comes to mind here” Blue put the pokeball in his belt as he left.
“Wait Blue, I wanna tell you that I’m gonna beat you no matter how many times we fight I’ll win I’ll show you that” Red challenged him.
“Red, by the way try not to be such a cry baby. The only reason you got possessed by gastly was cause you got a weak mind a trainer needs both good skills and a good mind, and just because you beat me in battle doesn’t mean your the best so give up.” Blue left the forest.
“You know what pikachu for once I think Blue is right lets just go to sleep okay.” He then went back to sleep.
And so Red’s big journey started what kind of adventures awaits our new hero and his pokemon in the future.
25th November 2008, 05:57 PM #3
The small giant
Here's the third chapter, and also the third main character will appear, that kinda explains the name of the chapter.
Chapter 3: the third wheel
Red has finally started his journey to become a pokemon master, he has past to a few problems as he got lost in the forest but now that he has recover his path he’s finally near Viridian city and his fighting against a caterpie nearby.
“Okay caterpie prepare to meet your maker” Red put his fist in front of his face as he started to battle. “Go pikachu thunder shock” pikachu ran to caterpie and gave it a few sparks of static, caterpies are kinda weak so that was all.
“I got you now, pokeball go” Red threw a pokeball as it caught caterpie it then wiggled three times till it pinged. “All right I got a caterpie, and with that I got three pokemon now” Red stared at caterpie’s pokeball till he left for Viridian.
When he finally entered Viridian city he couldn’t believe his eyes, it was totally different from Pallet it had a lot of buildings some complete and some still in construction. There weren’t actually a lot of small houses like his, but every house was either an apartment or a condominium. There were also a lot of people which cause him to get lost in the city losing his path and got him going to the pokemon center.
It was a big white building with a red roof on top it had the letter P.C. on it. Red went inside the center and he saw a nurse, she had pink hair, a white apron a pale skin and a white dress she was taking care of an injured rattata as she finish she gave it to a little kid.
“Thanks nurse Joe” the kid said to the nurse and then left.
“Can I help you” nurse Joy look at Red who was a little nervous. He had never been good talking to girls specially older girls, and nurse Joy was just a few years older than Daisy which Red couldn’t stand to be so near or he’ll explode imagine now.
“Ah yeah I need to know where the gym is” he ask nervously.
“Oh it’s just a three street from here if you just go straight you won’t have any trouble” she smiled at Red who was calmer now. “Thanks” Red smiled back.
“Wait are your pokemon tired” nurse Joy asked as she turned the pokemon healer on. “I had a few battles and I capture a pokemon so it’s probably weak, so thanks.” He went and put his pokeball in the pokemon healer and sat in a sofa nearby as he waited for his pokemon to be ready.
When his pokemon were finally healed he left the pokemon center and kept going to the gym, but he past to a pokemart and saw the poster of Blue on it. It said that the grandson of professor Oak has starter his journey and that only the best would be a match for him. Red remember that Blue has always been a protégé at pokemon battling when he was little Pallet town had a pokemon battle tournament and Blue won.
“A real pain in the butt ha” Red turn around to see someone reading the poster it was a very beautiful girl she had a tan skin, and brown hair. She also had a black dress on and black sandals.
“Yeah he is” Red replied as she giggled. “Well I’m sure that he’s not the best just cause he is the grandson of professor Oak” she giggled again.
“What are you the queen of the gigglers” Red asked “I just like to smile that’s all people say that smiling is good for the heart and for the health.” She look like a very knowledgeable girl.
“Okay, so what’s your name” Red had to giggle himself as he asked. “My name is Green” She said smiling.
“Green he my name is Red, I’m from Pallet town” he shook hands with Green.
“Pallet town, I’m from Pallet town” Green looked surprised. “You are then how come I’ve never seen you” Red asked.
“My family lived in the urban part of Pallet, and we went on vacation to Celadon city to visit my grandma. But we’re just returning to Pallet so I can start my journey.” She finally finished.
“Wow that was long” Red look tired from hearing so much. “Well I tend to talk a lot” Green giggled again.
“So why are you here in Viridian” She asked. “Well first I came to get my first badge, and I also had to come here to give this to someone.” Red took out the pokedex from his backpack and showed it to Green.
“Is that a pokedex” Green looked surprised. “Yeah how did you know about it” Red asked surprised as well.
“Well I should know I help the professor created” Green then looked at the pokedex as Red just stood there surprised “Really then that means.” He got cut off. “Yeah I’m the third pokedex holder. Green the heart breaker” She made a modeling pose.
“I didn’t know there was a girl pokedex holder” Red ask as Green frowned “what you don’t think girls are good enough to be pokedex holders” she was angry now.
“No it’s just that your too cute to be a pokedex holder, actually if I can say this your one of the cutest girls I ever seen” Green lost her frowned and smile again. “Nice try to be smooth but it didn’t work.” Red was a little embarrassed.
“Sorry, I’m actually not that good talking to girls” Green just let Red’s comments slide.
After talking for a short while they both left to find a quiet place in the park. Red want it to see how strong Green was so he decided to have a battle with her.
“One on one” Red asked. “How about two on two I just received this new pokemon from Pallet and I’m dying to test it out.” Green got a pokeball out and threw it in the air a pink bluff with brown hors. It had white brown color eyes and four finger on each hand it was a clefeary.
“Wow a clefeary, I never seen one of those” Red’s eyes jump out at the sight of a clefeary. “Well they’re very rare but lets just say I had my set of adventures in the past and capture this little girl on the way” Green stretched her finger pointing at clefeary. “Make your pick.”
“Go pikachu” pikachu came out of his pokeball leaving some sparks. “Now pikachu go use your thunder shock” pikachu tried to do his thunder shock but clefeary dodge it. “Clefeary use metronome” clefeary moved her finger from side to side till it copy a mega punch then her fist glew in silver and hit pikachu which send him flying a few inches away.
“Pikachu, quick attack” pikachu sped on as it hit clefeary in the head. “Clefeary encore” clefeary’s finger glew white but nothing happen.
“What was that, well it doesn’t matter pikachu tackle attack” pikachu tried to do a tackle attack but it instead did another quick attack which clefeary dodge. “What happen” Red raised his eyebrows.
“You see encore is an attack that makes the pokemon affected by it to repeat the same attack until clefeary gets bore.” Green explained as Red was just astounded to hear of such an attack.
“Then pikachu is trapped” Red now knew that pikachu had no chance of winning this battle cause of clefeary’s encore. “Exactly think I’m a good trainer now.” Green chuckle.
“Yeah you’re right. Pikachu returned” Red put pikachu back in his pokeball he knew there was no way he could win this one.
“Return clefeary” Green got clefeary back to her pokeball and got out another pokeball. “Go boulbasour” a pokemon that looked like a dog with a big plant in it’s back, and it had spots around his body.
“A boulbasour that’s a starter” Red couldn’t close his mouth now. “Yeah I just got it today so what do you think” Green said. “I think that charmander can handle that” he threw charmander’s pokeball in the air and his starter came out. “Prepare to receive my best” Red was confident now.
“Well lets go boulbasour tackle attack” boulbasour did his tackle attack but charmander didn’t receive a lot of damage. “Charmander use ember attack” charmander fired a lot of fire bullets from it’s mouth this did a lot of damage to his opponent.
“Boulbasour use your leech seed.” Boulbasour fired a seed at charmander and it started absorbing it’s energy.
“What’s that” Red asked desperate. “Leech seed has the ability to absorb the opponent’s energy” Green had a confident smile on.
“Man you just come up with new tricks every second” Red said without losing his confidence. “Now charmander lets take care of this use your headbutt” charmander used headbutt and it hit boulbasour.
“Go boulbasour razor leaf” boulbasour send a bunch of sharp leaf that attack charmander and made a lot of damage. “Now vine whip” Green ordered a vine whip from boulbasour as it hit charmander with a green whip hit by hit charmander was becoming weaker and weaker till it could barely stand.
“Okay lets do this charmander flamethrower” charmander send a stream of flames that hit boulbasour and it was so strong that boulbasour couldn’t stand anymore so it fell unconscious.
“Well you win that round” Green returned boulbasour.
“Yeah that was a good battle but guess it’s a tie cause you only got two pokemon and I got three” Red returned charmander and started to leave.
“See ya around Green it was good to meet you” Red said goodbye to Green as he left to the gym.
“Good bye Red good luck” Green looked at the sky thinking of all that had happen today as the sun started to set.
25th November 2008, 06:25 PM #4
2/5. It's a very good advancement in the story (just a bit cliched), but that's not what's wrong with it here.
The grammar and punctuation, is bad. You are excellent at coming up with ideas! Just, the punctuation is a bit screwy. PLEASE work on it, I love you fic ideas.
27th November 2008, 11:09 AM #5
The small giant
Here's the fourth chapter, and also a very weird technique will be learn by one of Red's pokemon.
Episode 4: cocoons of death.
Red has left Viridian city after realizing that the gym was closed for maintenance; any way, he decided to go to Pewter city, because it also has a gym, and he can train his pokemon on the way; especially this pokemon.
“Ok, caterpie go” Red threw caterpie’s pokeball, caterpie came out but it went to sleep on Reds shoe.
“Oh come on caterpie can’t you give me a break, if we want to become stronger you have to act stronger not just sleep all the time” caterpie looked at him feeling unwanted, it used it’s string shot and trap red in the web while charmander and pikachu were laughing at their trainer.
“Very funny, now untie me!” Red yelled. He tried to untie himself up but he couldn’t if there was one thing caterpie was good at, it was using string shot.
“You look pathetic” Red saw a kid that looked like one of those people that fight gators: he had a white coat, brown hat, moccasins shoes, and blue eyes.
“Oh yeah, and who might you be” Red asked still trying to untie his body. The guy didn’t speak he just picked up caterpie from the floor, and started petting him “this little guy is just playing, it wants to be stronger he just wants to have fun doing it; plus I don’t think he sees you as its friend” he put caterpie on the floor “my name is Ricky by the way.”
“I’m Red, and can you get me out of here please.” It took a few minutes before Ricky could get Red untied but he finally made it.
“So what are you doing here” Red asked getting rid of the last string shot he had. “I’m collecting the string shots of bug pokemon” Ricky started collecting all the thread. Red remembered hearing of people that did research about pokemon attacks to know more about pokemon, but he never took it seriously.
Red decided to take Ricky’s advice so he and Ricky decided to have a pokemon battle to test caterpie’s power. “Go caterpie show him your string shot attack” caterpie fired its string shot but his opponent block it with his horn. Caterpie was fighting against a weedle: this pokemon was kinda like a caterpie but it was yellow, it had a horn in the front and a sting in the back, it also had a red nose.
“Weedle, poison sting” weedle fire a spike from the sting in his tail this spike stroke caterpie in it’s body, thanks to that caterpies’ face got a little purple, it was poison.
“Caterpie don’t worry about the poison go for a tackle” caterpie tried to tackle weedle but weedle just used its horn which hit caterpie back as it was very sharp. “Weedle use string shot” weedle fired its own string shot; it wrapped around caterpie and trapped it in it.
“Caterpie try to get free” Red screamed but caterpie couldn’t get out of weedle’s string shot.
“Your caterpie doesn’t have a chance, weedle’s string shot is way stronger than caterpie’s so you’re kinda trapped here” Ricky raised his hand and pointed at weedle who was collecting the strings that didn’t trapped caterpie.
“Caterpie” Red was trying to give caterpie a command, but caterpie had lost all his energy cause of the poison, and damage it took.
“Looks like your caterpie can’t fight anymore.” Ricky returned weedle to his pokeball and Red picked up caterpie and gave it an antidote so it could stop the poison.
“Well guess I lost” Red was sad that he didn’t just lost but what Ricky said was true, about him not treating caterpie as his friend.
“I guess I’ll be going” Red started to walk away as Ricky just stood there he knew he would see Red again. “Good luck Red, I hope you recognize all of your mistakes” Ricky thought as he walked the other way.
Red left the woods and was close to Pewter city as he saw a trainer with a rattata fighting against a trainer with a pidgey.
“Wow another pokemon battle” Red said as he went to see the battle, apparently Red had past through a lot of battle on his way to Pewter.
“Hey guys mind if I cut in” Red noticed that the kids just glared at him; well actually they were glaring at caterpie who was out of its pokeball. “That pokemon we have to kill it” one of the trainers said: she had a blue hat, blonde hair, green shirt, and purple pants.
“Your right Eris we have to get rid of it” the other trainer said: he had a green bandana, blond hair just like the girl, blue jeans, and a grey shirt. “I know that Kris” Eris said.
“What do you mean, why would you wanna kill my caterpie” Red got in front of caterpie in case the kids want it to attack it. “It’s a monster, that’s the pokemon that evolves in kakuna.” Eris got her rattata up front preparing to attack.
“Kakuna let me look it down here” Red got his pokedex out. “Kakuna it’s a pokemon that lives on trees it might look weak but if you get to close it’s rough skin might cut you, this creatures stay in trees till they evolve; kakuna is the evolve form of weedle.
“Kakuna is not the evolve form of caterpie, it’s the evolve form of weedle.” Red put his pokedex away, he looked at the trainer but lets just say they weren’t listening to Red. “I don’t care, rattata use hyper fang” rattata bit caterpie with a powerful fang caterpie got a lot of damage for this.
“I won’t let you hurt caterpie, go pikachu thunder shock” pikachu got out of his pokeball and let out a strong thunder shock that defeated rattata. “Apparently your rattata wasn’t that strong” Red inquired.
“Your so weak Eris let me take care of it, pidgey gust attack” pidgey started flapping it’s wing as it created a small tornado that absorbed caterpie making a super effective damage cause bird pokemon are stronger than bug pokemon.
“I’ll save you caterpie” Red got into the tornado he could barely see what was happening cause of all the spinning, he finally saw caterpie he had to swing in the air to save it, he finally got caterpie and went outside the tornado.
“Well that was refreshing” Red’s hair was up and his hat was in the floor. “Pikachu use you thunder wave” pikachu used thunder wave and it paralyzed pidgey.
“What my pidgey failed too” Kris said as he returned pidgey.
“You better stop, bugging my caterpie, hey I just made a funny” Red started laughing for no reason while Kris and Eris were staring in awe. “Well, sorry we were just making sure, I mean those beedrill had been attacking us for the last three days” Eris showed Red some scars she had in her arms.
“What’s with that” Red try to touch the scar but Eris just put her arm back. “I tried to stop the beedrill, but everything went wrong, and I got attacked” Eris gave Kris a place in the conversation. “Please you gotta help us, your definitely strong; so do you think you can help us” Kris asked.
Red took a few seconds to think about this, he was close to Pewter but he couldn’t let someone in need go away. “Okay I’ll help you, but after that you have to promise that you won’t attack anymore trainers” Red gave them thumbs up, pikachu did too.
Red followed Kris and Eris as they enter another part of the forest. “Just when I thought I was out I have to comeback to the forest, but I promise Kris and Eris I’ll helped them.” Just then kakunas came out of the trees. “What are those things doing here” but Red didn’t know that this was actually the start of his problem as the kakunas started breaking their shells huge bees with drills for arms came out they were beedrills.
“So those are beedrills, well go charmander caterpie” charmander got ready to battle but caterpie doubted itself. “Don’t worry caterpie charmander will help you defeat those beedrills” caterpie looked at Red still confused but it knew it could trust its trainer.
“Now go charmander, flamethrower” charmander fired a flamethrower which burned a lot of the beedrills and a few plants. “Caterpie use you sting shots to tie the beedrills” caterpie fired the string shot, and it trapped the beedrill with its thread.
“Good my plan is working” but what Red didn’t notice is that a forest fire was starting. “Oh no, we have to get out of here charmander free the beedrill, and lets get out of here” charmander use its claws to cut the rope, as soon as the beedrill were freed they went flying outside the forest.
“Well that’ll take care of them” Red started running out of the forest with it’s pokemon, but when he turned around to see caterpie, caterpie wasn’t there instead there was some kind of green cocoon.
“That’s a metapod” Red saw his pokedex to see the data on metapod, but then remember the forest fire so he grabbed metapod and started running. “We have to go”; unfortunately Red tripped over a rock; Red drop metapod to the floor right after that. “Metapod come back” metapod fell in a river of flames as Red watch its silhouette been burn away in the fire.
“Meatapooooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddd” Red let out a huge scream and just stayed there not caring about the fire. “I failed; I couldn’t protect metapod, and now” Red started crying “he’s gone now.”
Red kept crying but then he saw a pokemon coming out of the fire. It was metapod it had push the flames aside, and it used confusion to help himself out of the trees. “Metapod you’re alive” he ran and hugged metapod, “I didn’t know metapods could use psychic powers” Red said. He finally noticed the fired that was closing in so he ran as fast as he could and got out.
Red went back to Kris, and Eris who kept their promise about not attacking innocent trainers. As for Red he has recover his path and he’s finally in Pewter city.
“Well guys, we’re here get ready cause as soon as we get out of the Pokemon Center, we will go challenge the gym leader” Red clenched his punch as he looked at pewter from the cliff he was standing he just couldn’t wait.
27th November 2008, 07:56 PM #6
Cool Red will challenge Brock
28th November 2008, 10:10 AM #7
Inquired means asked. Also, the lack of punctuation, capitalization, and grammar is disturbing. Have you listened to what I've been suggesting? You have in the beginning. But now, I suggest to add grammar, you say you will, and you thank me for the comment, and then it gets worse. I mean really, are you even listening to me? Don't just nod and say you will, do it. Actions are more powerful than words.
Originally Posted by elleryferrer
I mean, really.
EDIT: I'm read it over, and it's even more horrible then before. Its not just grammar, it's just the way you tell the story.
"making super effective damage cause bird pokemon are stronger than bug pokemon"
Originally Posted by elleryferrer
PLEASE WORK ON GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION, AND STORY-TELLING!
Last edited by Elementary Penguin; 28th November 2008 at 10:26 AM.
28th November 2008, 07:31 PM #8
A black and white world
And please, emotions! Everyone sounds so dull and emotionless--there's no conviction to any of their words.
29th November 2008, 11:30 AM #9
Yes, that's what I was trying to convey by saying "Story-telling"
Originally Posted by Blackjack Palazzo
4th December 2008, 08:43 PM #10
The small giant
Brain against Brock
So the fifth chapter's here, now it's time for Red's first gym battle.
Episode 5: Brain against Brock
After traveling for so long Red is finally in the city of rocks, Pewter city. After passing through the burning Viridian forest, Red and his pokemon spent the night in the Pokemon Center preparing for their first gym battle.
Red is speaking with professor Oak through the phone, while his pokemon eat.
“So you finally got to pewter, ah Red?” Oak asked through the phone.
“Yep, me, and my pokemon are on our way to the gym” Red replied. “Well I have to tell you this. The gymleader of Pewter is a strong trainer one of the best I seem” professor Oak had a worry smiled on.
“Yeah I heard some things about him myself” Red was in deep thought. “Are you okay Red?” Oak snapped his fingers, which got Red out of his trance. “Yeah just thinking” Red shrugged.
“Listen I heard that this gymleader uses rock type pokemon, so you gotta be careful if you want to win this fight, you hear me” Oak was now serious even Red could notice this.
Red left the Pokemon Center, and was taking a stroll down Pewter city. There weren’t as many buildings as in Viridian, but they were enough for Red.
As he past through the Pewter city park he saw a lot of kids throwing punches in the air. The kids were being watch by a man, well he looked just a few years older than Red: he had dark skin, brown pointy hair, grey pants, his eyes weren’t open they were kinda like lines, and he didn’t have a shirt which made his muscle visible.
“Come on people you got to get moving, how do you expect to make your pokemon get stronger if you yourself are not strong enough” he yelled to the kids speaking like if they were in the military.
“Yes mister Brock” the kids yelled at the same time while they kept throwing punches.
“I wonder why is it that the trainer has to train, when he’s not the one that battles” Red was starring at the kids, but Brock turned around. “I think he saw us” Red flinched as Brock went running to him.
Brock got to Red in just three seconds; he didn’t even gave Red a chance to run.
“Did you just say, why is it that a trainer has to train” Brock looked down at Red making notice that he was taller than him.
“Yes, so, I mean the pokemon are the ones that battle the trainers give them their commands, I don’t get why we have to train” Red stared back at Brock. “Easy, think about it, a pokemon won’t get stronger if they see that its trainer doesn’t get stronger. They train hard all the time but notice that their trainers only stay there doing nothing, so I think it helps the relationship between pokemon and trainer if they fight together” Brock and Red just kept on with their staring contest.
“Oh really, that isn’t possible, my pokemon and I have a pretty good relationship, and I don’t need to do all that” Red started yelling. “Oh really, in that case why don’t we have a match” Brock got angrier.
“Sorry but I’m on my way to face the gymleader, sorry” Brock started laughing and Red just stared clueless. “Your more clueless than you look you know that, I’m Brock the Pewter city gymleader” Brock clenched his fist while Red just stared in disbelief.
After Red and Brock stopped fighting they went to the gym to have a real fight. The gym was kinda rough with a lot of rocks surrounding it, there was a building in the middle.
The building had a roof made of rocks, the walls were made of bricks, and the windows were all wooden. As Red and Brock got inside Red saw how big the gym was from the inside. It had an arena in the middle of the building, there were benches all around the gym, there was a screen in the back wall the screen had the words: Red vs. Brock on it.
“You ready kid?” Brock asked as he got to the left side of the gym, while Red stood on the right. “I was born ready” Red replied as he was holding a pokeball.
“Let’s go, geodude” Brock threw a pokeball to the air, a rock came out. “What the, I didn’t know pokeballs could have rocks inside” unfortunately Red wasn’t right, cause then arms made of rock came out of the rock, then it opened its eyes they were kinda like rage eyes, it’s mouth was the last thing to appear as it let out a screech. “Geoodudeeeeee.”
“So a geodude, lets see what the pokedex says” Red saw his pokedex. “Geodude, the rock ball pokemon, this pokemon is usually confused for a rock while it’s sleeping; people say that when there’s an earthquake, and the ground is not breaking, it might just be a herd of geodudes bouncing up and down” Red then closed the pokedex.
“In that case I’ll use my safe bet, go metapod” Red sent out metapod to the arena.
“Metapod, you must be crazy, but that’s your choice” Brock smirked a little. Geodude, use your tackle attack.” Geodude tried to tackle; but metapod used its psychic attack to repel it. Red gave him a grin
“Metapod you okay” metapod just move up front; you might call it its way of nodding yes. “Now metapod use your psychic” Red ordered. Metapod sent out a huge purple wave at geodude and it made a few damage making geodude get a headache. “Geodude snap out of it” Brock said in a serious tone. Geodude opened its eyes immediately.
“How did it do that?” Red asked surprised; he also had his eyes wide open. “That’s what I meant, geodude, and I have train together a lot this has made our relationship much stronger; geodude and I can feel each others emotions, and cause of that he can overcome any kind of problem just by hearing my voice” Brock smirked to Red looking at his clueless smile.
“Well, I don’t care. Go metapod psychic” metapod sent purple waves again and it hit geodude’s straight on the face. It didn’t make a lot of damage, but a few seconds later geodude started getting a headache again thanks to the psychic attacks. “Now, confusion” metapod sent purple wave combining it with the psychic wave, geodude couldn’t keep up and it fell unconscious.
“Return geodude” Brock got geodude back into its pokeball and just starred at Red, he noticed metapod had used a lot of psychic energy; it was exhausted. “Looks like your metapod will fall any second” almost on cue metapod just fell to the floor.
“What the heck just happened?” Red insinuated with his face completely pale. “Your metapod it’s so weak, that it can’t take all that psychic energy so it just could hold it any longer” Brock smirked.
“We’re tied up, but not for long” Brock threw his second pokeball what came out was something Red had never seen before, an onix.
It was a huge snake composed of different blocks of rocks, its head was a huge rock that consisted of its eyes; just like geodude eyes, they were eyes full of rage, he also had a rock horn in his head, his tail had a small rock and a stalactite rock for a tail.
“An onix, in that case I’ll use pikachu” Red chose pikachu to battle onix, a weird choice though. “That’s weird why pikachu; do you want it to die or something” Brock laugh at Red.
“I believe in pikachu that’s why I chose him” Red clenched his fist a little; he was confident of his parnert. “Pikachu, go with a thundershock” pikachu let a thundershock out, but onix didn’t received any damage any damage; practically unscratched.
“Onix, bind” onix went to pikachu and caught the little rat while it wasn’t focus. Onix started to squish pikachu harder by the second. “Pikaaaaaaaaa piiiiiiii” pikachu screamed, trying to get free from onix’s grip.
“Pikachu, try to get free” Red yelled to pikachu, who was starting to lose consciousness. “Your pikachu can’t hear you, but I couldn’t blame it, it’s your fault for not training it right” Brock got his serious smile back, looking at Red with disappointment.
“Your right pikachu is not strong enough, and maybe your training style it’s a good style, but there’s one thing I know, pikachu and I are best friends, and it doesn’t matter what happens we’ll help each other out no matter what” pikachu heard the words of it’s trainer the more he heard it in its head it got stronger, and got to the point that it let out a big lightning out of its cheeks.
As the lightning kept hitting onix, it started to lose strength. A few seconds later it recovered from the Milagros damage. “How could that happen?” Brock stared at pikachu who was patting on the floor.
“Pikachu heard my voice, you know we weren’t always this close, when we met he used to leave the house all the time, one time he didn’t came back so I went to find him. Pikachu was so cold it was in a critical level, I gave him my jacket and we ran back to my house so that he could get hot. After that I don’t know how or why but we became great friends” Red grinned a little looking at pikachu.
“I finally got it pikachu, the strategy that would lead us to our victory” Red looked straight at Brock. “You’ll see Brock, you’ll see the true power of our friendship” Red threw a punch in the air, and simultaneously pikachu did a quick attack.
The quick attacks didn’t do anything, even though pikachu was throwing a barrage of quick attacks. “What are you doing this for?” Brock asked with his arms crossed. “It’s all part of my strategy, and it all ends no, go pikachu use your thunderbolt” Red ordered throwing his hand on the air.
The thunderbolt came out of pikachu’s cheeks and it hit onix. “That won’t work” Brock stated waiting for the moment Red would accept that none of his strategies worked.
But for some weird reason the type advantage didn’t worked, and the thunderbolt actually made a lot of damage to onix. It took it a few seconds but the attack finally took the giant rock serpent down.
Red looked at the arena, as a smile started coming to his face. He ran to pikachu and hugged it as hard as it could, “Pikachu we did it, we won the battle” Red threw pikachu in the air and kept hugging it, until Brock came to them.
“Congratulations Red, you have defeated me. Now as a gymleader of the pokemon association is a pleasure to give you the Boulder badge” Brock handed Red a badge that looked like a silver colored rock.
“I got… no we got the Boulder badge” Red raised the Boulder badge; he put the badge in his badge case.
“Now that you won your first badge, all of your pokemon will get stronger when your connection with them does” Brock said as he open the door of the gym.
“Goodbye Brock thanks for the battle” Red nodded as he left the gym. “Good luck in your journey Red and be careful” Red nodded back as Brock saw him get out of sight.
“One down, seven to go” Red said while he was looking at the badge. “Now let’s go for the next badge” he looked at the mountains nearby. “That would be the place of our next adventure, Mt. Moon” he smiled looking at the sunset.
5th December 2008, 04:27 PM #11
Really, I'm not going to help anymore. I'm not going to read.
Are you really in 9th Grade? I'd be much less hard on you if you were younger.
Yep, I'm not reading anymore.
6th December 2008, 01:14 PM #12
The small giant
I don't know if this one's better but, I just want it to try
Chapter 6: Museums before the mountains
Lat time we saw Red, he and Brock had a gym battle so that Red could get his first gym badge, after battling against Brock’s onix, Red and pikachu managed to use the power of their friendship to defeat Brock.
It’s a new day in Pewter city; people are walking around the sight sides of Pewter. People were all around the great rocks that surround Pewter, other people were walking around the springs, and other people were just leaving the city.
In the bus station Red’s resting on a chair nearby waiting for the bus to arrive. Too bad no one told him that part of travelling in a bus was getting bore to hell.
“I’m so freakin bore, why is it that I have to wait all this time for a bus, it ain’t even a good bus anyway” Red whined with his bore tone, and inflating his cheeks; kinda like bore little kids do.
Pikachu came to him holding a bottle of ketchup. Red stared at pikachu’s little bottle. You see ever since pikachu was a baby pokemon it always had a little thing for ketchup, one time he went crazy and electrocuted Red’s house.
“Dude, you know you’re not allowed to have ketchup!” Red shouted taking pikachu’s bottle away. What Red didn’t think of was that pikachu could shock him if he took it away, which actually happened. Red was incinerated after pikachu’s shock, pikachu was just eating ketchup. “You didn’t had to be so rough,” Red said burping a cloud of smoke out of his mouth.
Red saw all the people hanging out near a building, he went to see it. The building was just as big as the gym; probably bigger, it had those poles that the old Greece temples had, it had a roof kinda like brown and red with white around it, finally to add a little touch it had a clock on the top of the building.
“Wow, what’s that?” Red asked staring at the building with his eyes wide open. A man walked close to him, close enough for Red to smell the stench of chili fries in his clothe. When Red turned around he could finally see the man completely. He had white hair; although he was bald so he only had hair on the sides, he wore a deep grey jacket, with a bow tie; he had a white shirt, a white mustache, and moccasins. As for physical traits, he had a big round nose, and a white moustache, and his eyes were green.
“That’s the Pewter city museum, it’s one of the most famous buildings in the Kanto region,” the man announced with his small cane. “Really wow, I never seen a building like that, I mean the Pallet town museum was great but it was a house compare to this one” Red just stared at the museum when a question finally got into his head. He looked around the entire crowd, “Why is there so many people here, I mean shouldn’t they be inside?” Red asked looking at the man’s eyes.
The man got pass the KEEP OUT strings, and went to the door of the museum. “Hey pops, were you going?” Red asked following. Unfortunately for Red, the guards came to him and caught him off the floor, they actually could cause they were big guys, with muscles and black shirts; you know like celebrity bodyguards. “Hey, Goliath, Brutus let me go!” Red yelled kicking the guards with the back of his feet so that he could get out of the guard’s grips.
“Let him out boys,” the man waved his hand at the guards. The guards looked at him for a few seconds before responding.
“Sure boss” the guards said in unison letting Red fall to the floor. “OW, you could have at least thrown me a little gently” Red whined patting his butt so that the pain would go away. “Hey gramps, how come they take orders from you?” Red asked still patting his butt, although he should’ve got up already to stop attracting attention. “Well, they have to, after all I’m their boss” the man looked at Red with a wink. “Cool, I mean so you control the whole museum?” Red said excited to be close to the owner of such a great building.
The man looked at the building. “Right now the only thing that matters is the safety of the museum” he looked at the door that was now in front of him. “What happened?” Red asked in seriousness; he knew that whatever happens he was involved already. “The museum got stolen a few days ago, we think that it was an inside man that did it; so we closed down the museum while we’re investigating” the man finally opened the big doors.
Red looked inside the museum, it was a really big building from both the outside, and the inside. The building had brown wall all over, white poles just like the outside, and there was a logo on the floor with the form of a rock and a small creature inside. It had a lot of containers with rare rocks on it, the front desk that was on the middle of the building with a lot of pamphlets about the museum, and there was even a second floor; which you could see from the security screen on the front desk.
“Wow, I’ve never been in a place like this” Red stared at the building looking at everything around it; practically touching everything in it. “You must be from a small town right,” the man inquired chuckling a little bit at Red. “Yep, I’m from Pallet town” he smiled grabbing a rock; too bad a guy took it away instantly, he jus frowned at the guy. “I see, I’m from Lavender town, a town with a lot of mysteries” the man stared at the museum’s roof, which was a glass roof; so you could see the sky from there.
“So what’s your name gramps?” Red asked getting close to the old man. “My name’s Mr. Fuji, I used to be a scientist that worked for the Cinnabar island pokemon lab, but I retired a few years ago and opened this museum instead” he open his arms wide to cover the whole building. Red just smiled a little bit; to think that someone that lived in a small town could make a building so big and so famous, it just made Red think more about what could happen if he were to become a pokemon champion.
“I see, so do you know who stole the museum?” Red looked at Mr. Fuji waiting for the answer; Mr. Fuji shook his head. “We don’t know who stole it, but they did tried to steal this” he showed Red a weird rock, the rock was kinda orange in an oval shape form, it had a little bug inside. “So, they wanted to steal a rock, you know they can get this all around town right” Red said looking at his reflection on the rock, he took out a piece of lettuce from his teeth.
Mr. Fuji went farther into the museum and Red followed. They got to the security room that was full of guards, all of them wearing the blue uniform with the museum’s insignia on it. “So many guards in one room” Red looked at every guard, although all of them glared at him in case he tried to rob something.
They came in front of a guard; apparently he was the head security guard. He had a dark blue police hat, an aqua blue jacket, with a bunch of police badges on the left side, he wore special black sneakers to help him run faster, and his hair was so long you could see it through his hat, he had white hair.
“Hey boss, hope you health’s okay” the guard said bowing to Mr. Fuji. “Oh Robin, you know you don’t have to do that, I told you, you can call me Fuji” he said smiling at him. “Hey how come I can’t call you that” Red whined a Mr. Fuji. “Cause we just met and young people should talk to their elders like that” Mr. Fuji said with a wise smile as he turned away from Red.
Red just frowned. “So you must be the kid that came with Mr. Fuji, hi I’m Robin” Robin gave him his hand so they could shake. Red shook his hand. “My name’s Red, nice to meet you” they stopped shaking.
“So what’s the damage?” Mr. Fuji asked looking at the many security screens. “We still haven’t figured out who the inside man is, but we do know that he or she must have access to every room in the museum” Robin answered doing a soldier gesture. “I see, Red if you think you could go look around the building for clues” Mr. Fuji looked directly at Red with puppy dog eyes. *Not the eyes* Red thought. “Okay, I’ll go” Red left together with pikachu.
Red decided to investigate the second floor; considering that he had already seem the first floor. “Okay pikachu we have to find any thing we can” Red turned around and gave out a scare smile when he saw pikachu climbing a kabutop skeleton that was on the corner. “Pikachu leave that alone this instant” Red pointed to the floor telling pikachu he wanted him to come down.
Just then Red heard a small noise coming from the other end of the hall. “Follow me” Red took pikachu on his arms and hid behind the skeleton. Red stared at the person that was coming their way, it was Robin. Red sighed and was about to get up; till he saw Robin stealing a jewel on a pedestal nearby. *What the hell* Red thought; a man that Mr. Fuji respected so much was stealing from his own museum. “Security guard my butt, he’s nothing but a liar” he told pikachu with an angry smile; too bad Robin heard him and spotted him.
“So Mr. Fuji’s new pet has been spying me, well not anymore, go scyther” Robin threw a pokeball to the floor, and a weird looking pokemon came out. It was a mantis with two long swords, its head was more like a dragon’s head, it had wings; although it didn’t seen like he could use them.
Red opened his pokedex. “Time for the pokemon of the day, let’s see what Dex has to say about this” he looked at the pokemon’s data. “Scyther the mantis pokemon, this kind of pokemon is one of the most stubborn ones, they fight within their own group to see who’s stronger, and when a scyther’s sword breaks they say that their spirits shatter together with them” Red closed the pokedex.
“So, you’re the pokedex holder, Red the buffoon” Robin smirked at Red; Red just got angrier. “I’ll show you who stupid, now charmander go” Red threw charmander’s pokeball at the floor. “Now charmander use you flamethrower. Charmander fired a flamethrower at scyther. “Scyther use your sword to block the attack” he ordered.
Scyther put his swords in front and blocked the attack. “Charmander go and use you headbutt” charmander ran to scyther. “Scyther use your slash attack” Robin ordered throwing his hand to the air. Scyther used its swords to slash charmander over and over again; charmander go a lot of cuts on its body. “Charmander don’t worry we can win this” Red turned around; he saw that the rest of the security crew finally came to assist him. “Oh nuts, I’ll finish with this, scyther use a hyper beam” scyther fired an orange beam that hit and knocked charmander out; it also made a cloud of smoke.
When the smoke cease Robin, wasn’t there anymore. “Damn it, he got away” Red cursed closing his eyes in shame. Mr. Fuji came to him. “Don’t worry Red, we’ll get him; although I never expected Robin to be the thief, he was always such a good person” Mr. Fuji said putting his hand on Red’s shoulder.
“There’s a thing called a double agent, it’s someone that fakes to be what he’s not and works for someone when he’s actually working for someone else” one of the guards replied to Mr. Fuji.
Red jus stared at the floor. *Yeah, but who is he working for*. He thought while he was looking at the floor. “I’m going to find Robin and whoever he’s working with and destroy them” Red said in a confident tone, he clenched his fist and smile confidently. “That’s the spirit; but you should go now, your going to be late for your bus” Mr. Fuji said reminding Red about the bus.
Red left immediately after that, too bad that the bus never came; apparently it got delayed on the way. Red decided to buy a burger so that he could eat before the bus got there.
“Wow, this burger’s great; although my moms a little better but no harm, no foul” Red started chewing his burger while his pokemon were playing near a water pond. “Now that I look back at it, I should’ve bought some fries” Red looked at the burger restaurant that had closed down a few moments ago. “Too bad people didn’t like that restaurant” he took a sip of his soda.
Just then a poliwag came walking from a pond nearby. “Hey little guy, what cha doing here” Red asked looking at the poliwag that was drooling in front of him. “You want some” Red put the burger in front of poliwag; and without a second the poliwag jumped and ate his burger. “You’re a real eater aren’t ya” Red smile and gave it some of his soda.
“Well that was good” Red rubbed his belly. The poliwag stared at Red’s belt for a few seconds. “What is it little buddy?” Red asked. The poliwag touched a pokeball with its tail and it got capture in just one try. “Guess I got a new pokemon” Red had a confuse look on his face. “Why can’t I capture pokemon the normal way” Red laughed out of stupidity.
So after having a great adventure on the Pewter city museum, Red was waiting for his bus and a poliwag came and capture itself; things just get weirder and weirder for Red.
6th December 2008, 01:25 PM #13
Originally Posted by elleryferrer
"Red had a confuse look oh his face"
This fic is horrible.
13th December 2008, 07:02 PM #14
The small giant
Episode 7: the battles in the sidelines.
After having a harsh battle against the gym leader of the Pewter city gym, Red finally won his first badge; with the help of pikachu. After winning Red fought bravely against Robin a thief that try to steal both a fossil and a jewel from the Pewter city museum; Red finally went back to his plan of hiking to Cerulean; but the route to the next gym is full of caves, and mountains.
Any person in his right mind would have known that it would take days before they crossed, so Red took the bus that goes between Pewter, and Cerulean.
Red finally got to take a good rest! The bus was kinda of a first class bus, the seats were all cozy, and each seat had a TV with it; it even had a bathroom; a little smelly though. Red is writing a letter to his mom.
“Dear mom how have you been, hope things are okay back home, it’s been a month since I left Pallet, I seen a lot of pokemon and met a lot of people on the way, I got my first badge by the way. Now I’m just maxing and relaxing on this bus, believe it or not the route to Cerulean is very steep so I just bothered taking this bus; plus, me and my pokemon can rest a little bit.”
“I got four pokemon. As you know I have pikachu, and charmander. But I captured two more pokemon, metapod, and poliwag. I captured metapod as a caterpie, it evolve into metapod after a day or two, not just that but my metapod has the ability to use psychic attacks; which is something only a butterfree can learn.”
“Poliwag I kinda captured it by accident, while I was waiting for the bus in the Pewter bus station. I was eating a burger when this poliwag came from a pond nearby, and it ate my burger. So I wonder I wasn’t gonna eat everything so we share the food, after we finished eating it looked at my belt, and pressed the button in the pokeball and was capture just like that; I know is a weird way to capture a pokemon but it worked.”
That was all Red had to write, he put the address and put a pikachu stamp on it. “We’ll wait for the next bus station so that we can mail this” Red looked at pikachu who was sleeping peacefully, after traveling so hard they finally got a chance to rest in peace (not in a dead way).
“It’s hard to believe that we’re here calm and cozy, while a few days ago our feet were dying of all that walking” he said to himself as the bus stopped. “Well time to get down” Red got up and went down the bus to look for a mailbox; he almost fell over when he was getting down though.
The stop looked more like a gas station; actually it was a gas station, it even had gas tanks. There were little children playing near the spring that was nearby, thirty year old man talking and smoking together, and there were old ladies talking about their time, and how kids this days don’t value anything they teach them; you know boring stuff.
“Here it goes,” Red put the letter in the white mailbox and decide to go explore a little. “The bus will take 30 minutes before it leaves again, I guess I have plenty of time to see the forest nearby” he started walking to the forest that was next to the stop.
“Okay, go poliwag” Red threw poliwag’s pokeball in the air, and it came out wiggling its tail. “Pikachu go” Red got pikachu out too, and both pikachu, and poliwag started playing around on the forest. “We should probably train poliwag while we’re her, I mean we might as well be ready for the next gym battle” Red stood in front of a tree
“Well poliwag, show me your water gun!” Red pointed his finger at the tree he was standing in front of; poliwag looked clueless at the start but he got the message. Poliwag fired a strong stream of water at the tree, the water broke a little bit of the tree’s bark.
“Wow, that’s a strong water gun right there, now lets see your bubble beam” Red pointed at the same tree; again poliwag took a few minutes but it did the attack again. Poliwag fired a barrage of bubbles from its mouth and the bubbles went to the tree, and it was strong enough to destroy the tree. “Wow, you might become a very strong pokemon someday,” Red smiled at poliwag and poliwag smiled in agreement.
“You’re kidding with a pokemon like that, I would just throw it away” a voice came from the trees; the voice smirked with a teasing tone. “Who’s there?” Red asked; pikachu and poliwag got in front of Red to protect him from harm.
A mysterious kid came out of the trees. He was a real person you couldn’t miss. He had blond comb back hair; which shined like gold under the sun, he wore a golden yellow jacket, a deep black undershirt, sunny yellow pants with chains on the sides, and yellow sneakers.
“I did, have a problem with that” the kid asked smirked throwing his hair around. “Yeah, who do you think you are insulting my pokemon” Red got angrier, he knew he wouldn’t like this guy; I mean for Red a person that hated pokemon was his worst enemy.
“In my case I’m just stating my opinion, that poliwag is a weak pokemon that doesn’t deserve to live” the kid pointed a poliwag who was getting sad, he just smirked again with a teasing smile. “You little, you think your better than me, I got the boulder badge in Pewter city” Red open his badge holder and showed him the badge. This time the kid just looked at the badge, he looked kinda like he was about to bother Red.
“You gotta be joking, you think with one badge your stronger than me, specially since I have three badges” The kid opened his own badge holder and it showed three badges on it. Red stared at the badges; not believing that someone like him could be stronger.
“Still, I’m stronger than you no matter what” Red clenched his teeth with fury. “In that case, I’ll show you the power of my pikachu” the kid threw his own pokeball in the air, and to Red’s surprised it was a pikachu just like his own. “You have a pikachu too, how can that be I mean pikachu’s are only common around Pallet, and Viridian” Red looked deeply at the pikachu; the eyes on this pikachu were eyes with hatred and fury, eyes that could even scare Red.
Red stood his ground gathering all his courage; he threw his hand in the air. “Okay, pikachu go use thunderbolt!” Red yelled at the top of his voice, pikachu jumped and fired his newly learned attack; a thunderbolt a big lightning that hit the other kid’s pikachu, the electricity coursed through out its body, but it didn’t do a lot of damage; not to say it didn’t do anything.
“That was pathetic, pikachu use earthquake” pikachu made the earth shake, and with it’s great power it split the ground making pikachu fall to into the hole.
Pikachu was lucky that it grab a rock nearby but its left ear got cut by another rock while it was falling. “Your pikachu is trapped right there, I don’t think it’ll come out soon, by the way, but I don’t care, pikachu use your thunderbolt” his pikachu fired its own thunderbolt at Red’s pikachu; the thunderbolt almost made pikachu slip off and fall into the pit.
Red got angrier; but he knew that there was no way of him winning this battle. “What’s your name kid, I’m not going to give up on beating you” the kid looked back at him brushing his hair with his hand. “My name’s Yellow; the warrior” Yellow started walking.
Red looked at Yellow. “Wait, you got an extra name does it means that you’re a pokedex holder” Red gasped at Yellow; Yellow just looked at him seriously. “Yep, my dad knows professor Oak; so he gave me his newly made pokedex” he showed Red his own pokedex; Red gasped again. Then Yellow left Red resting on the floor.
“Yellow eh, I’ll beat you no matter what!” Red got pikachu back in his pokeball; he also put poliwag in his, after staring at it for a few minutes he decided to return to the bus.
Red got back to the bus stop; he couldn’t forget what Orlando said about his pokemon being weak. “I don’t get it, he beat me with just one move, and he didn’t even hurt my pokemon he just threw pikachu in the ground” Red looked at the bus that was about to leave.
“Better get on the bus before it leaves again” Red got in the bus and saw something weird, almost every person that was on the way to the stop was out; no one was actually there.
“What happened here!” Red saw the driver was unconscious on the floor. “Wake up what happened here!” Red yelled shaking the driver around with a lot of force.
“They took the passengers as hostage,” the drivers murmured still doze off. “Who took them?” Red yelled with rage on his eyes. “I don’t know, but they said they won’t let them go unless we give them 1, 00,000 bucks” the driver said finally recovering from his unconsciousness recovering. “Where are they?” Red yelled again still shaking the driver; even though he was awake. “Mt. Moon, you can get there by sundown if you start walking” the driver fell unconscious again; thanks to Red shaking him so much.
Red stood up with a look of angriness in his face. “So whoever captured the passengers is in Mt. Moon, well guess I’ll have to go help them,” Red got down from the bus, and started walking.
He stopped a few steps after getting down from the bus; he looked sad. “Am I really strong enough to fight against these guys, when I could barely defeat one person” Red put his head down, getting nervous about going to Mt. Moon alone. He started walking again; he knew that he had to suck it up and keep fighting.
It was night already, Red finally reached Mt. Moon. “Okay; let’s go in” Red entered the cave he lit his flash light on.
There were a lot of zubats and golbats, but there was nothing else. “Maybe those guys killed the passengers and left” what Red didn’t notice was that someone was behind him. Red turned around but he couldn’t see well because he got hit in the back of the head with a rock, his sight faded away, as he fell to the floor unconscious.
“We’ll take care of this kid” the shadow chuckled. He lifted Red off the floor and started walking him into the cave
Red just stayed unconscious he was unable to think cause of the rock, but he knew that he was in big trouble.
13th December 2008, 07:11 PM #15
I will say this again. To reiterate:
Yes, your grammar is improving. Punctuation has some errors. Spelling as well. Emotion is there more than it ever has been.