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Thread: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

  1. #346
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Here to review!

    Not even that far in and I'm already catching something I don't like:

    Quote Originally Posted by Flaze View Post
    A small black colored screen had been stationed on the edge between the sand and the water as it lit up, displaying a split screen with a line going across the two.
    There really is no need for "colored" as I've said many times before, it's wordy and uncalled for. It'd be different if it was something like "almond-colored," however it's not thus comes off as wordy and reductive since black is already a color, everyone knows that, and there's no need for the "colored" to assure the audience that black is a color. While I'm on this line, I'm gonna go ahead and say the second "screen" isn't needed. I also think you switched tenses a bit. Also there's no need for the "the" before water nor is the "as" needed. "Displaying a split screen with a line going across it" is somewhat confusing to read, I had to reread it to realize what you were trying to say. All of that can easily can be axed and just read as:

    "A small, black screen was stationed on the edge between the sand and water, it lit up, revealing it was split across the middle horizontally."

    See how many unnecessary words can be revealed? It really helps things flow better and at a nicer pace, the slightest change can make a big difference.

    He drew his arm back before quickly whipping it back forward and throwing the ball at the water.
    While this isn't a cause for concern, the second "back" isn't needed.

    The Pokemon glared at Tyson; its eyes staring deeply at his opponent as he tried to intimidate him even more.
    Inconsistency, the Gyarados is referred to as a "he" directly after being called an "it." Just try to be consistent, do we know the Gyarados's gender or not.
    This didn’t seem to affect Tyson though, who had now taken out his own Pokeball.
    “Very well,” he muttered, softly sliding a pokeball from his belt before pointing at Tyson.
    Another inconsistency, are you capitalizing Pokeball or not?
    The water around Infernape began to move around and wavered. A large wave of water proceeded to materialize around Infernape and towered over as it approached the fire type with all its might. Infernape stared at the wave before jumping back and leaping off the platform as swiftly as it could, successfully managing to land on the next platform as the wave fell on the spot where it used to be.
    The repetitiveness that came with using "wave" so much is something I want to point out also there's no need to refer to it as a "wave of water," readers know its a wave of water.

    It looked around at the water curiously before turning to face its trainer, probably wondering why its trainer had sent it out in such a field.
    The fire type was quick on his feet though and jumped up from the platform, causing the tail to completely destroy it.
    Another gender inconsistency.

    “Where’s he gonna run though!?” Fin snickered victoriously as he saw Gyarados launch itself forward once more and firing a large blue colored sphere down at Infernape.
    What happened next was something that shocked Fin as well as the whole audience. Infernape began to run around swiftly on the edge of the water, its feet moving like a blur as he breezed to the water, almost as if he was floating above the water itself. “Wait…its running on the water, but how!?”
    "Breezed to the water" or "Breezed on the water." Also there's no need for the last part of the second sentence, "Infernape beagan to run around swiftly on the edge of the water, its feet moving like a blur as he breezed on the surface of it, as if he was floating about it himself." And again, there's no need for me to point this out so I'll stop after this, but another gender inconsistency.

    The Pokemon finally fell into the water and began to flap and swing its arms around desperately. It knew that if it got sucked into the whirlpool that would be its end as well as his Trainer’s lost. It didn’t want to lose; it didn’t want its trainer to lose, not after all the experiences they had and the position they had obtained.
    Is trainer being capitalized or not?
    Just as the whirlpool was about to suck Infernape a bright beam of red flew towards it and surrounded the Pokemon. Fin looked towards Tyson, who was now returning Infernape into its pokeball. “Taking the easy way out is always better huh,” he scoffed.
    "Just as the whirlpool was about to suck Infernape down/in" you're missing a word.

    The Pokemon glared at him once it was fully out; water running down its face and body before it went back into the water.
    "The Pokemon glared at him once it was fully out, water running down its face and body before it went back under."

    Removed the second use of water, comes off as reductive since we know its in water.

    “Okay what the fuck!” Tyson screamed, his fist clenched and his teeth gritted as he glared at his opponent, who was now laughing hysterically. “You were going to throw me off!?”
    There's no need for the second "his."
    “Use Trash Gyarados!”
    I know you mean "Thrash" but little mistakes like that really give off a bad vibe, it makes it seem like you didn't check over this well which we both know is not true. ;)
    Gyarados let out a deafening roar as its body began trashing around the water, causing it to become turbulent and wave around it.
    I literally just found this one line after the last one, once is understandable.
    Gyarados charged towards Milotic once more; however, the water type was unwilling to let its opponent take anymore advantage of it.
    I think you mean attacking it, since taking advantage of it means to use it in a way that helps Gyarados. That's not happening.
    Before Gyarados could reach its target more Milotics began to appear, one after the next as they all began to swim around the Gyarados and managing to avoid the attack.
    The plural of Milotic is Milotic, not Milotics. That goes for every Pokemon.
    “That’s not going to do much good,” Fin gritted his teeth in frustration. “Gyarados, use Thunderbolt!”
    Gyarados can't use Thunderbolt, at all. I know errors and mistakes happen, but when you make mistakes like these it makes it seem as if you researched things poorly. Again, we know that isn't true.
    Gyarados raised its head as the crown on its head began to spark with electricity. It proceeded to fire a barrage of electric currents inside of the water; unfortunately, this ended up affecting both Milotic and Gyarados as the electricity spread around all throughout the water.
    Just some useless words that can be dumped:

    "Gyarados raised its head as its crown began to spark. It proceeded to fire a barrage of electric currents inside of the water, unfortunately, this ending up affecting both Milotic and Gyarados as the electricity spread all throughout the water."
    The Pokemon became alert as soon as it saw this and proceeded to fire tornado of wind that collided and connected with the Blizzard attack.
    "a tornado of wind..."

    Both attacks proceeded to break apart, sending bubbles and waves all around and causing the two Pokemon to float away. “You’re not half bad for a second year snob.”

    “And you’re not half bad for a third year douchebag,” Fin smiled confidently, he turned to the screen once more, his mind racing with the possible outcomes that the battle could end up turning to. “Now I know that it can use ice type attacks as well, meaning that if I want to win I’ll have to keep up with Dragonair’s speed which shouldn’t really be a problem.”

    He stared at the water in thought as he tried to consider every possibility of attack.

    “Now I’m going to get you back for before, Milotic use Whirlpool!” Milotic let out another chime from within the water before it proceeded to swim around Dragonair. This caused both Fin and the dragon Pokemon to become curious.

    However, as Milotic began to gain more and more speed the water around Dragonair began to spin around rapidly, quickly sucking the dragon into the now forming water tornado and causing it to wail in pain.

    The Whirlpool started to come out from the water and rise into the sky, causing water drops to fall on Tyson and Fin as the air around it was sucked by it.

    Inside the whirlpool Milotic was doing everything it could in attacking dragon, with it swimming around and slamming against it. Dragonair tried as best it could to get away, but with every second that passed it would get sucked even deeper into the whirlpool.
    You used "dragon" a tad too much. ^^;; Basilisk, serpent, creature, reptile, these could all work.

    Dragonair use Twister!”

    Dragonair opened its eyes wide and started to spin its own body, now beginning to spin counter clockwise so that he was moving against the force of the whirlpool. A large tornado of wind began to form inside of the water tornado and absorb both the force and the water that Milotic had accumulated.

    Finally Dragonair roared, causing the tornado to break apart and for Milotic to dive back down into the water; its body panting heavily as it went back into refuge. “Let’s finish this Dragonair, use Thunder!”
    Tornado, not just here but since you started using the word, could easily be substituted with vortex, cyclone, etc. Varying your words can help things out in the smallest way, believe it or not.

    She and Angelo were both standing in the center of a concrete floor just outside of the Castle.
    Why is "castle" capitalized?
    “Raichu start off with Thunder Shock!”
    ThunderShock. Unless you're separating it on purpose? :P

    Allison’s mind went back to the events of the night before, her mind going back to the promised that she had made with Darren about baking a cake if they won; she smiled warmly, her head facing the floor now as she realized that it wasn’t such a farfetched idea anymore. “Now Raichu, let’s end this.”
    "Her mind going back" redundancy. We already know she's remembering something.

    Standing before her was a Pokemon that was certainly out of what she would expect from Angelo, a Garbodor.
    "Out" makes it seem like she did expect it, just say "not."

    On the side of the rat Pokemon electricity began to pick up from the floor and surround its body before it eventually was covered with a coat of electricity; the Pokemon raised its speed and fired off towards Picasso with the speed of a cannon ball.
    rat Pokemon's electricity...
    He knew that he had been able to beat her, even if not by battling skill the field had been on his side and he had managed to win. “Wait! It’s not over yet!” Allison exclaimed, she staring at the screen desperately as she looked at Valerie.
    Very awkward and unneeded.

    “All women are the same, hell all people are the same, as long as they have a need for you they’ll be with you, that’s the basic of life…that’s how the weak feed off the strong to survive,’
    Why the single quote at the end?

    Anyway, read this chapter. Unfortunately, my biggest grip, as usual, is the amount of mistakes you make. You have a lot of experience with writing fanfiction, I know proofreading can be very boring and tedious but you must check thoroughly. Pretty much most of the time I give reviews I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over, the same exact things and pointing out the same exact errors. I really don't feel like you're actually checking for them, it's a bit annoying because if someone is going through so much trouble(I spent two hours on this review.) to find and catch these errors it'd at least be nice if you were more cautious of them. Again, making the mistake a few times is fine but it feels like you're stagnating. A review is only as good as you make it. Hoping I'm not coming off as rude.

    That being said, I enjoyed the battle challenges quite a bit. I liked seeing a lot of Pokemon I really like(Dragonair, Raichu, Smeargle, Milotic, etc.) battle and your use of running on the water, Marvel Scale, and some out there choices, like giving Angelo a Garbordor, were pretty entertaining. The characterization and interactions of Fin and the Enforcers were great and it gave them some nice personality-fied moments that I enjoyed.

    Your flow had quite a bit to be desired this chapter, that mostly came from awkward wording. Though it can be improved on. Didn't expect both of the Media Club members to get stomped on in one chapter, especially when it seemed that Perfect Sketch was all figured out for Allison. Not everything rests on Reggie's shoulders and we get a small look into Allison's weakness as a character with her losing. I'm actually curious if this is leading somewhere, so it was a solid chapter no doubt. As I said before, a large majority of entertainment value for me came from Fin and the Enforcers. ^^
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 5th April 2013 at 08:14 PM.

  2. #347
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    A very well done pair of battles. The only mistake I noticed beyond what Gotpika pointed out is this:

    Both trainers will battle it out in this field using the water and the platforms, the first trainer to lose one Pokemon or to lose their footing will win this match.
    By those rules, since Fin was the first to fall, he actually won xD

    Anyway, good battles! I love the bantering you have between the trainers. I too didn't expect both Fin and Allison to lose. I'm really looking forward to Reggie's training finally (maybe) paying off. Knowing Kevin though, he'll probably pull some martial arts mastery BS out of his ass. Keep it up and proofread once more than you did last time :P You've improved too much to start slipping now. Can't wait for the next one!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    Gyarados can't use Thunderbolt, at all.
    Actually, Gyarados has been able to learn Thunderbolt via TM in every generation except for 2 (double checked on Bulbapedia).

  3. #348
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Quote Originally Posted by AetherX View Post
    Actually, Gyarados has been able to learn Thunderbolt via TM in every generation except for 2 (double checked on Bulbapedia).
    Whoops! I apologize immensely for that Flaze/Stellar/Haze! I fail at life for making that error, I actually checked Bulbapedia at the time of writing it and Thunderbolt's page made no mention of Gyarados ever being able to use the move. I'm sorry about that piece of unnecessary criticism. ^^;;

    EDIT:Gyarados's page mentions it XP I fail so hard.

  4. #349
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I'm so sorry about the flow thing, I actually reread the chapter twice but the second time I was kind of tired but that's no excuse especially since I missed two things that happened at the very start of the chapter, so I take the full blame on that.

    I'll admit I have a problem with realizing the words that are necessary and the ones that aren't, I guess it's a force of habit though I did know there was something odd with the screen paragraph but I just couldn't figure out exactly why. And I do know about varying words but at the time I just couldn't get anything other than tornado in my head and I was too engrossed to go and look for another word to use, as for the dragon thing...well I just like the word xD; call it a quirk. And I did mean to separate Thunder Shock, I know people do it different but I just like to separate the attack names.
    @AetherX; ...well it is Kevin we're talking about.
    @Gotpika; don't worry about the Thunderbolt thing xD I was shocked myself actually, though if there's one thing I'll admit I'm good at is the research, I always keep a bulbapedia tab open when I write a battle cause I forget attacks, I was honestly shocked when I saw Thunderbolt and figured that it would just be bad if Fin didn't take the chance of using that attack while under the battle, plus it allowed me to reveal Gram Scale.

    I'm glad you guys liked the interactions, honestly my biggest focus in this chapter was how I could expand upon the Enforcer's personalities because I felt like I was just making them come off as just...generic villains, I wanted to expand on that and honestly I wish I could've done it a little bit better, there was a scene with Angelo that I had to write off cause of space, little bit of Trivia: he was actually the one that did the graffiti drawing on the wall.

    And you're right about me showing Allison's flaw as a character Gotpika, in fact, the reason she lost this battle is the same reason she's always lost since she was introduced, but I'll expand on that later. As for Fin I'm glad you guys liked his reactions xD I was worried I exaggerated it a little bit

  5. #350

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I finally had enough time to read the newest chapter and loved the interactions and at times started rooting for Tyson(no idea why XD)

    Yes, there were a bunch of errors but the most serious one would be
    “This round will be simple. Both trainers will battle it out in this field using the water and the platforms, the first trainer to lose one Pokemon or to lose their footing will win this match.”
    I think it'd be a good idea to go back and fix that one, unless of course you plan on having someone else in the media club lose and then when the enforcers try to claim victory Fin(or someone else) remember's Valerie's little slip up and count the win for Finn (If this does happen I deserve a cookie) :P

    Between Milotic's appearance until Raichu's appearance, the flow suddenly got really awkward, probably due to word choice.

    Hope your physics exams all turn out fine, I know physics is a rough subject and before I forget Reggie pulling a falcon punch would be epic :D

  6. #351
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    So after a long long time (two months to be exact) Second Year Rhapsody is finally back! (kind of) and just in time for the awards too xD I'm not very confident of myself this time around as my updates have been...sporadic at best but I still hope you guys will support me and this story.

    Honestly I would love it if I could update faster but school's a real bitch, by the time I'm finally done with exams and studying all I want to do is rest.

    Originally this was supposed to be a double feature to make up for the hiatus, but I didn't have time to get the second chapter finished before the award...however, if all goes well I'll be able to post the next chapter between the next couple of days.

    Soulmaster; @Instrutilus; @Tophat Dragoneye; @The Jingster; @System Error; @AetherX; @Gotpika;

    Chapter 34: Teamwork/The Dark Forest

    “You really are crazy if you think you can beat me in a head to head fight,” Kevin clenched his fist in expectation as he assumed a fighting stance and stood in front of Reggie, who had been able to keep up his serious façade even after stating his challenge.

    “I’m willing to give it a try,” Reggie argued, his eyes fixed on his opponent. He had to admit that he wasn’t completely confident in what he was doing though, true this was the reason that he had taken Darren’s gruesome training through the last month; but even then he still wasn’t sure on whether he could actually take him down.

    Kevin scoffed slightly, clearly still doubting Reggie’s words. “I know I may seem like some weak actor, but I’m actually well trained when it comes to fighting, it’s always good to have some extra skills you know.”

    Now that had definitely decreased Reggie’s bravado some, true he was prepared for Kevin to at least have some knowledge of fighting; however, he hadn’t taken the fact that he might have more than a little knowledge into account. Regardless, he couldn’t back down now.

    With that Reggie threw himself forward and began charging towards Kevin, his fist held back before it swung back forward, with Kevin as its target. Kevin simply grinned as he caught the punch with his right hand and proceeded to swing his own left arm at Reggie.

    At that moment something raced through his body, causing Reggie’s senses to react at a speed that even he couldn’t have predicted, no, he had felt this before and as he saw Kevin’s fist approach his face he could hear only one word ring into his head. “Dodge!” was what made his body react faster than even he could’ve imagined as his head duck down so that the punch would fly through the air.

    That wasn’t where it stopped though, and before Kevin or any of the spectators were able to process what had happened Reggie’s left fist slammed against Kevin’s chest, causing the actor to gasp and jump back. His composure seemed to have lessened and he was clearly enraged after receiving that last blow.

    “Did that answer your question?” Reggie chuckled innocently, trying his best to hide the fact that even he didn’t know what had happened.

    “So you’re a little more skilled than I thought, big whoop,” Kevin gritted his teeth before charging towards Reggie. He spun around on the tip of his foot before whipping his left leg around towards Reggie, who proceeded to raise his arms and block the kick. Oddly enough, Kevin seemed to be even more hurt by this than Reggie was, if him retrieving his leg and wincing in pain was any sign of indication. “What the hell?” he gasped in pain.

    His question was answered not too long after as Reggie lifted his sleeves to reveal the weights that he had been wearing around his wrists. “Gotta make the best with what you’ve got, this also makes my fist get stronger cause…well my punches are like mosquito bites.”

    “Well looks like the honor student isn’t as naïve as I thought,” Kevin nodded his head in appreciation and stepped back. “But there’s more ways to winning a fight than just dodging and hitting you know?”

    “Then show me,” Reggie grinned. He didn’t know why his body was reacting different from normal but he sure hoped that it didn’t stop.


    5 Minutes Earlier….

    Miko stared at her surroundings for a second, her eyes gazing down at the rocky floor that she was now standing on before turning to look at the long path of trees that stood in front of her, with multiple rows of trees on either side of the road.

    She immediately looked up at the tall mountain that lay not too far from where she stood, it standing high and with pride and looking over the island. That’s when she turned to look at Darren who stood next to her. “So what do you think we’ll have to do?”

    Darren didn’t reply, instead he turned towards his own right and came into view with both Keith and Alexa who seemed to had been talking about the situation as well. “I guess this is going to be the challenge,” he pointed out, his tone sounding bitter. He would’ve liked it if it had been just him and Keith but now it had turned into a double battle, something that he didn’t like at all.

    Keith turned to look at the white screen that had been set up in front of the two couples, only to see it light up and display Valerie in the image. “Now we tune in with the two couples in Rin Island that’ll be participating in the Capture the Flag Battle!” Valerie announced, ensuing a loud cheer from the crowd.

    “In this challenge both couples will have to climb up the mountain and retrieve the flag that stands at the top, the first group that gets the flag and brings it back to the starting point wins the challenge!” Valerie exclaimed, though it seemed like she was getting tired of keeping her peppy attitude and announcing everything.

    Miko didn’t know what to say about this, except that she knew that working together and moving fast were key, especially since they were competing against two Enforcers one of which was the leader; there was something that she was worried about though. For starters there was the fact that Darren wasn’t one for teamwork, and then there was the difference in skill between the two teams.

    She was worried that she would end up turning into the weakest link. She hadn’t been able to help the group out even during the battles that occurred the year before, and now one of the most important challenge was in her hands. She immediately turned to Darren and smiled. “Let’s do this.”

    “Yeah, just don’t get in my way, I’ll take care of keeping Keith entertained,” Darren pointed out as he took out his pokeball.

    “Anyways,” Valerie interrupted. “The rules for this challenge are that you cannot hurt your opponent, you’re also not allowed to use flying types to get down, you can go up with them but once you come back down you have to do it through normal means, also in the case one of you chooses to use a Psychic type then the move Teleport is off limits while you’re carrying the flag.”

    They seemed like pretty reasonable rules, at least in Miko’s eyes, though she knew Darren wouldn’t mind as long as he got the battle he wanted.

    There was no signal to start, instead Miko and Darren were treated to the sight of Alexa and Keith releasing and Alakazam and Gigalith respectively. As soon as this happened the two of them got to work.

    Darren gritted his teeth when he saw Alexa and her Alakazam vanish from in front of them along with Keith and his Pokemon; something that caused him to turn and glare at Miko. “You have two Psychic types right, use them!”

    “You could ask politely you know, and here I thought you had gotten a better mood,” Miko stated bitterly as she pulled out a pokeball from her belt and released her Gothitelle. She honestly didn’t like the fact that they were already behind but Darren giving her lip for it just made it worse. “All right Gothitelle use Teleport and get us to the top of the mountain!” Miko commanded; noticing that Darren was taking out a pokeball of his own.

    However, before she had a chance to see what was coming out the two of them proceeded to vanish into thin air. The next thing Miko knew the two had transported themselves to the top of the mountain and what followed could only be described as an all out war.

    First it was Darren’s Salamance, who proceeded to charge straight towards Gigalith as soon as it finished coming out of the now teleported pokeball. The Pokemon’s claws hardened as they obtained a metallic glow before slamming against the rock type and causing it to slide back. Keith was clearly annoyed by the sudden attack, his face grimacing at Darren’s surprise strike.

    “Run and go get the flag Alexa, I’ll hold them off!” Keith ordered, his voice echoing through the mountain while he wheeled around to face Darren.

    “All right, don’t let them beat you. Come on Alakazam!” Alexa exclaimed before she began to run with her Alakazam. It was at this point that Miko was able to see the orange colored flag that stood not too far away from them. She had to beat Alexa into getting the flag, though that also meant that she would have to get down through normal means.

    That’s when the idea stroke her, they couldn’t teleport while holding the flag so of course the person that had it would actually be at a disadvantage. A grin crossed Miko’s face as she turned towards her Gothitelle. “All right, here’s what we’ll do.”

    Darren didn’t pay mind to her though, instead decided to focus on his own battle. “Salamance use Steel Wing!”

    “You might’ve gotten one hit on me but there’s no way I’ll let a delinquent like you hit me again. Gigalith use Smack Down!”

    Darren grimaced when he heard his command, realizing what it meant for him and the battle if he wasn’t able to recover from it.

    Salamance kept going with its orders though, now flying faster towards Gigalith while its wings coated itself with the same metallic glow that had taken over its claws before.

    Unfortunately Salamance wasn’t quick enough. A large weight began to fall on it, causing the Pokemon start falling onto the ground as its body’s weight increased before finally colliding with the ground with great force. The Pokemon roared in pain as its body was pressed against the ground; with it struggling to try and stand back up.

    “I admit it was a smart move to take us by surprise, but I’m not the leader of the Enforcers for nothing,” Keith tugged onto the sleeves of his jacket as he unbuttoned his wrists. “Also, if I were you I would feel bad for your partner in this challenge.”

    “What do you mean?” Darren raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

    “Alexa might not be the ‘strongest’ in our group if it comes to skills and abilities, but if it comes to power and sheer strength then I have to say that on a good day she stands at the same level as Tyson,” Keith snickered, his eyes showing the confidence that he had in his partner.

    Alexa had meanwhile grabbed onto the flag, her head turning to come face to face with Miko; who was still standing on the other side, waiting for her first move. She smiled, her blood boiling at the feeling of finally getting a chance to fight. “Alakazam, let’s take this battle home shall we,” the composed girl stated, her smile widening as she did.

    With that she proceeded to jump on top of Alakazam’s shoulder, something that shocked Miko. That wasn’t the only thing that shocked her though, for before she had been able to process what was happening Alexa’s Alakazama jumped from the top of the mountain and began to fall down.

    Needless to say Miko was pretty surprised by this reaction, though there wasn’t anything in the rules against using your Pokemon to get down through normal means, but this was just crazy; or maybe that just showed how good she really was.

    She saw Alexa and Alakazam continue to fall, only for Alakazam to hold both of its arms out. A field of violet colored energy began to surround both it and Alexa as the Psychic type lowered itself and its trailer onto the mountain grounds.

    Miko knew that this was her signal to move. She turned towards her Gothitelle before taking out another pokeball from her belt. Confidence began to course through her, even if she knew that she was facing off against an Enforcer on her own she was still prepared to give it her all, she had to in order to prove herself to the group and to Reggie.

    “Let’s go Gothitelle!” Miko and Gothitelle looked at each other before she jumped along with the Pokemon, feeling a powerful gust of wind wash over her face and threatening to push her back only for her body to vanish once more.

    Miko felt wind hit her once more as she came through the transport, she noticed that she and Gothitelle were about a mater above Alexa, giving Miko enough time to press the button on her pokeball and release it. “Go Combusken, use Fire Spin!” she yelled before throwing the pokeball and sending her Combusken falling towards Alexa.

    As soon as her Combusken came out it proceeded to fire a powerful vortex of flames from its mouth, the vortex heading towards Alexa.

    The older female was able to react in time and released a Frosslass from another one of the pokeballs on her belt. The ice type spun around in mid air, its arms cutting through it as it fired powerful currents of freezing wind that counter the scorching flames that had been fired by its opponent.

    The two attacks collided and began to cancel one another out, causing a large cloud of steam to develop around Miko and Alexa.

    Miko didn’t miss a beat though; knowing that she needed any advantage she could get she proceeded to charge through the cloud. “Gothitelle use Psychic!”

    “Alakazam, you two!”

    Both of the Psychic types fired a similar wave of violet energy at the other, causing the two of them to be pushed back along with their trainers. Miko was prepared for this though and as soon as she was pushed back she and Gothitelle vanished yet again.

    Alexa’s expression became more alarmed now, she hadn’t expected for Miko to be able to throw her off so many times. She grabbed onto the flag and began to run towards the starting point once more. She began to break into long strides, she was an expert when it came to sports after all, so she was confident in her running skills.

    “I can’t lose, I was given this position for a reason and I’ll defend it,” Alexa spoke with determination as she began to run faster.

    She came to a halt though as Miko and Gothitelle reappeared in front of her, with Gothitelle charging a black sphere of energy in between her palms. “That flag is ours!” Miko yelled before she lunged at Alexa and reached out to the flag.

    And just before she was able to grab the flag the ground below her began to roar and shake. She was barely able to jump back as the ground between her and her opponent erupted, causing large rocks to fly out and begin to fall around them. “What’s going on!?” Miko exclaimed as she turned towards the mountain.

    She opened her eyes wide when she saw what was heading towards her and Alexa. Keith had jumped onto his Gigalith’s back and the two of them were now sliding down the mountain and towards them, rocks flying all around them as Gigalith bulldozed through the ground. “You’ve done good Alexa, but this is a team duel so allow me to help.”

    “I would love to,” Alexa smiled as her Alakazam and Frosslass appeared from behind her.

    Now the tides had turned, she had been so close to obtaining the flag and now she was surrounded by both of her opponents. Her mind went back to Darren, he had been left fighting against Keith but he hadn’t come down with him.

    “Come back here!” her question was answered almost instantly when she heard Darren scream out towards them, only for it to be followed by Darren and his Salamance speeding through the air and towards them. “We haven’t finished our fight yet.”

    “He is quite persistent,” Keith pointed out with a nonchalant tone.

    “Don’t worry, you scratched my back so I’ll scratch yours,” Alexa turned to face Darren and Salamance, her arm raising up and pointing towards them. “Alakazam use psychic attack on the rocks from Gigalith’s Rock Slide then fire them at them!”

    The rocks that had been scattered before were lifted into the air as violet energy surrounded them, only to be hurled towards Darren and his dragon type.

    The two of them were effectively taken aback, causing Darren to try and maneuver through the rocks; this was to no avail though, as one of the rocks slammed onto Salamance’s right wing, Darren grabbed a hold of the dragon as the two spiraled onto the ground in front of Miko; his Salamance whining and struggling next to him.

    “You guys did good, but now it’s time for us to win,” Keith pocketed his hands before turning to Alexa and motioning towards the starting line. “I think your Alakazam and me can deal with them, you go give us our victory.”

    Darren glared at Keith with all his might, he couldn’t accept a loss against him once more, especially now that he was acting so conceited. “Salamance, get up, we have to finish this.”

    “Wait Darren,” Miko interrupted, causing the trainer to turn his glare towards her. She felt a bit nervous at being stared down by him, but if he just kept worrying about his own feud with Keith then they would lose the match anyway. “We have to focus on getting the flag and winning, there’s no point in defeating Keith if we still lose the fight.”

    “Why don’t you just let me do what I want? I don’t work for teams anyways and maybe if you hadn’t been so useless and had been able to get the flag before…”

    “Why don’t you just shut up and accept the fact that this isn’t all about you already!” Miko screamed, making Darren step back slightly at the tone of her voice. She was panting heavily now as she felt her anger boil inside of her even more. “You keep talking about your battle with Keith over and over, but this is a team challenge now I don’t give a damn if you don’t work in teams but maybe if you did you would actually be able to win. Rely on others instead of acting like you’re strong enough when you’re not.”

    Darren didn’t say anything, instead he just stared at her. His glare began to die down and instead it changed into an expression of realization, as if he was finally noticing something that he hadn’t been before; he also seemed to be frowning a lot, as if he wasn’t too happy about what he had figured out.

    Regardless, there was something about it that made her feel like he had understood what she said and she was glad, cause for one she had finally been able to stand her ground and prove that she wasn’t useless.

    “All right then, get going…” Darren said, he looking at her with a more accepting expression. “I don’t know how this whole team work thing works so I’ll just cover you.”

    “Got it,” Miko nodded her head before she turned around and began running after Alexa once more. “Combusken, Gothitelle let’s go!”

    “Don’t let her go!” Keith yelled, signaling for Alakazam to throw even more rocks at the pair; however, Darren was prepared for this and before the rocks could hit his Salamance stood up and let out a loud roar, summoning a blue colored barrier that proceeded to block the attacks.

    Miko was now running as fast as she could go, her confidence rekindled after the argument with Darren. She had managed to convinced him to try working as a team and now she couldn’t fail him. Combusken was the first one to get ahead, with him firing a large red sphere of flames towards Alexa.

    “You never give up huh? That’s respectable enough!” Alexa’s Frosslass jumped in front of Combusken and proceeded to fire an Ice Beam. The beam pierced through the sphere of flames and was able to land head on against Combusken and managing to freeze the Pokemon’s Body.

    The job was done though, Miko and Gothitelle vanished yet again, causing Frosslass to desperately turn towards its trainer in an attempt to stop them.

    It was too late, as Miko reappeared right next to Alexa and began to run along with her.

    Neither of the girls were giving up though, and Miko herself knew that she wouldn’t be able to take down Alexa in a race. “I can understand that you want to prove yourself, and I admire that but I can’t allow us to lose even one match.”

    “You can say whatever you want but that won’t be enough,” Miko panted. With that she launched herself forward and grabbed onto the flag, causing Alexa to stop in her tracks and struggle to try and pry it from her opponents hands.

    Neither wanted to give up, and neither of them was willing to let the other have an advantage as they both pulled and pushed desperately. Miko planted both of her feet on the ground and pushed herself forward; thus startling Alexa and causing her to throw herself back and let go of the flag.

    And with that it was done. Miko grabbed a hold of the flag and proceeded to slam it down onto the hole located at the starting line, a look of pride crossing her face as she let out a loud scream of victory.

    She couldn’t put what she was feeling into words, for once in a long time she had finally been able to do something on her own, to fight against someone and win even after facing so many difficulties before. Euphoria eventually made way to weakness and her body began to relax and causing Miko to step back in an attempt to not fall to the ground.

    She panted silently as she stared at the flag, her smile never leaving her face. “You did good,” she turned around, seeing Alexa standing behind her. “Regardless on the outcome I have to congratulate you, you earned my respect Miko Sekai,” she nodded her head and smiled.

    Miko smiled back as she shifted her gaze to Darren and Keith, a somber expression crossing her face as she saw a defeated Salamance lay in front of Gigalith, the Pokemon looking a bit beat up but still able to take more.

    “The race is over, but if you want to keep going I’m always prepared,” Keith stated with a cold tone as he stared at a quiet Darren.

    “No…” Darren muttered softly and returned Salamance. “You win again,” he said and raised his face so as to show his bitter expression. He wasn’t ready yet, and as much as he wanted to complain that was the only conclusion he had reached. “I hate to admit it, but that damn teacher was right,” He sighed in defeat.

    “And so the capture the flag race has concluded!” Valerie announced through the screen. “The winner of this battle is the Media Club! Thus making the score 2-1!”


    She panted, running desperately through the dark forest that presented itself in front of her. The trees surrounded her, completely blocking the outside world from it and leaving her blind from any sort of light. Fear was crawling over her body with every passing second she spent, not just the fear of being in that situation but of when her opponent would attack.

    “We have to find her before she finds us or we’re done for,” Claudia muttered silently, fearfully even as she looked down at her determined Vulpix; who had been scouting the area around them thoroughly.

    It had been a few minutes since Claudia and Zephyr had been left in the forest to fight; however this wasn’t like the rest of the forest. The area around them was the zone where the trees were the largest and thickest, with their leaves being so many in numbers that they were able to cover the ground below them from even the sun itself, because of that this specific are had received the name of Dark Forest.

    Needless to say this situation wasn’t advantageous for Claudia, with her being the least experienced of the group in terms of battle experience and facing off against the Enforcers strategist things just kept getting worse for her.

    She could hear a soft humming voice accompanied by a slight decrease in the temperature. She might not be a Pokemon expert, but she knew that facing off against a ghost type user like Zephyr inside of a forest that was well suited for that type wasn’t a good idea. “Pix!” she heard her Vulpix bark, making her look down and smiled.

    “You’re right, I shouldn’t get scared, the rest of them are counting on me after all,” she nodded her head with determination. She owed a lot to Reggie and the others, not only for reviving the newspaper club but for even allowing Claudia to open up to them and be with them, she was happy with herself for once in her life.

    “It seems like you’re pretty content with yourself,” she could hear Zephyr’s voice ring out throughout the forest; though she couldn’t figure out from where. “I understand why you would want to fight so much, but unfortunately your chance of victory is of 0% I honestly feel bad to have to face someone that I relate to a lot.”

    “Relate to?” Claudia questioned, she standing next to her Vulpix now.

    “You and I are the same in a sense, we’ve both been outcasts to others due to our own insecurities or problems, we both know what it’s like to be alone,” Zephyr pointed out, her voice sounding somber and quiet, almost melodic. “You’re the daughter of the famous reporter Mary Sect, your mother is a very high achieving woman and she wanted you to be like her, though we both know that’s not something you wanted.”

    “I didn’t come her to talk about my life,” Claudia argued.

    “But we are battling, this is also an aspect of battling,” Zephyr pointed out. That’s when Claudia heard a soft whine from next to her. She turned her head around and came into view with her Vulpix, who was grimacing and stepping back; almost as if it was in pain.

    This was followed by both Zephyr’s Misdreavus and Litwick appearing next to the pair. Claudia stepped back , motioning for her Vulpix to stand in front of her trainer and guard her. “Vulpix use Flamethrower!”

    Vulpix charged forward towards the two ghosts and proceeded to fire a powerful jet of flames at both of them; it was to no avail though, because as soon as the fire was about to reach them Litwick floated in front of it and proceeded to take it head on, with the flame on top of its head increasing inside and beginning to absorb the attack.

    The small ghost type proceeded to fire a large blast of purple colored flames at both Claudia and Vulpix, causing the two of them to jump side and begin to run away in other to avoid the flames.

    “That won’t work, your Vulpix was already weakened by Misdreavus’s Hex while we were talking and any fire attacks you throw at me will be blocked by Litwick,” Zephyr pointed out with a cold and calculating tone. “Considering that your Vulpix is still inexperienced it must rely mostly on fire and physical attacks, the physical attacks won’t have any effect and any fire type attacks will be taken by my Litwick.”

    “Now in the odd chance that it knows a ghost or dark type move it still shouldn’t be strong enough to cause any damage,” Zephyr explained, her voice going quiet for a bit before she continued. “Remember that the rules of this match were that we could fight with as many Pokemon as we wanted and how we wanted until one of us gave up, if I were you I would consider doing so.”

    Claudia didn’t reply, instead she decided to keep running with her already weakened Vulpix. Zephyr was right, but she couldn’t just drop the match just because of that. She was right in something else though, if she wasn’t able to make Zephyr give up she wouldn’t win either and at the moment she didn’t even know where her opponent was.

    “It also seems like you’re in love with Reggie Damon,” Zephyr’s voice rang out once more, and this time her words were enough to get Claudia to become paralyzed in her spot.

    “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” Claudia replied slowly, her tone becoming a bit more nervous after Zephyr’s statement.

    “I can understand why you would like him, he’s someone that understands the situations we’ve been through after all.”

    “However, while he might understand and treats us differently from other you yourself know that you’re not the one he sees in his heart,” she spoke with a more calculative tone, as if she was analyzing the situation.

    It was clear that this subject had affected Claudia, even her Vulpix was now trying to desperately get her out of her trance; but to no avail. “That doesn’t matter to me,” Claudia argued, her voice becoming slightly shaky. “It’s okay, he’s someone that made me happy so as long as he’s happy I’ll also be…”

    “But you won’t be,” Zephyr interrupted. “You resent her for being with him, and you resent yourself for not being able to tell him your feelings, that’s how it is.”

    “Misdreavus use Shadow Sneak!” Misdreavus appeared from the trees surrounding Claudia and Vulpix and proceeded to slam against the fox Pokemon, causing Claudia to finally go back to her senses, only to see Zephyr’s Litwick fire a barrage of Will-o-Wisp attacks, and while they didn’t do much damage to Vulpix they were able to give Misdreavus enough time to attack once more.

    “Vulpix get up, we have to keep running!” Claudia exclaimed before lifting her Vulpix from the floor and beginning to run; barely managing to dodge a fireball from Litwick.

    She started to run more desperately, even though her body was already refusing to go any faster as her pants became even more consistent. She had to find a way to discover Zephyr’s location and get her to give up, but it was already clear that she had the upperhand especially after the last things she said to her.

    She was feeling insecure now, her mind clouded by her words and her memories of Reggie, how he had been depressed when Miko began dating Kevin, and no matter how hard she tried to help him she wasn’t able to do anything. She lowered her head; not caring about what might’ve been in front of her and only worrying on getting those thoughts out of her head.

    Unfortunately this made her unable to see the Pokemon that had flown into her path. She raised her head just in time to see a Swablu collide with her face and causing Claudia to topple to the floor and hit the ground with a loud thud. “Ow…” she whined and rolled to her side; noticing the Swablu that was writhing on the ground and trying to stand back up.

    “Oh my god are you okay?” Claudia jumped and began to check on the Swablu, though the Pokemon just looked at her with curiosity and a bit of a frown; probably because of the fact she had been in its way. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

    “Blu blu Swa!’ Swablu protested, its wings waving around frantically as it looked up at Claudia. Vulpix got in front of Claudia and growled, apparently not being too fond of the new Pokemon they had just met.

    “Don’t fight guys, this isn’t the time,” Claudia stuttered as she got between the two Pokemon. She turned to the still flustered Swablu. “I’m sorry, but this is a dangerous place little guy.”

    “Blue Swa Blu,” the Swablu replied, it starting to look around before shaking its head.

    “Are you lost?” Claudia raised an eyebrow, still a bit confused about what the Swablu was trying to accomplish with its gestures.

    At that moment she was a large fireball fly towards her and her Pokemon, with Vulpix managing to block it this time with a Flamethrower attack. However as this happened Misdreavus appeared from behind Claudia and the Swablu and proceeded to fire a beam of dark energy at the girl.

    Swablu didn’t know what was going on, but it did know that the ghost types were trying to attack this girl. A determined expression crossed its face as it flew in front of the attack and summoned a clear mirror-like barrier. The attack collided with the mirror before it was absorbed into it and fired straight back to Misdreavus.

    The ghost type didn’t have any other choice but gasp in shock as it was hit by its own attack and sent crashing against a tree.

    “Blu!” Swablu screamed loudly, firing multiple soundwaves at the already weakened Misdreavus and causing it to fly past the tree.

    Claudia didn’t say anything, instead she was shocked at how strong the Swablu had proved to be, especially considering that it was still a wild Pokemon. “You’re strong for a little guy,” she pointed out with a smile; though this comment just caused the Swablu to ruffle its feathers in pride.

    That’s when it finally dawned on her. Swablu was an unknown variable, it was something that Zephyr hadn’t taken into account because she only had knowledge of Vulpix. She smiled at this small ray of hope that had lit its way through the forest; however, just as she was prepared to attack Litwick she noticed that the Pokemon was floating away.

    “Blu!” the Swablu exclaimed loudly before it began flying after Litwick. Claudia had to admit she was a bit shocked at the Pokemon’s contribution, though it was probably still mad about Litwick attacking them suddenly. Regardless, she decided that it was best to stick with the flying type for the moment.

    “Vulpix, I’ll need you to stay on the back okay?” Claudia said, noticing that Vulpix seemed to be a bit confused about this order. “Don’t worry, just trust me on this.”

    As Claudia made her way through the trees she was finally able to get a good view at Zephyr, standing parallel to her with her Litwick floating next to her. “I’ve found you!” Claudia exclaimed, half happily due to finally being able to find Zephyr’s whereabouts.

    Claudia didn’t have a time to strike though, instead she was greeted by a shadow sneaking up from behind her. She and the Swablu turned around in shock as they saw a Sableye charging straight towards them.

    Things didn’t quite go like the ghost was expecting them to though, and before it had been able to land its mark its body was thrown aside by a flaming wheel courtesy of Vulpix. The Pokemon slammed itself against Sableye and managed to slam it down onto the floor.

    Zephyr seemed completely shocked with this development, she had not expected Claudia to see her surprise attack. She put her hand down on the wheels of her chair and prepared to turn back. “You’re surrounded now,” Claudia pointed out as she looked towards Zephyr.

    “Blu, Swa, Swa!” Swablu chimed before it flew forward; blowing Claudia’s hair around as it charged at Litwick. The ghost type gasped in surprise as it desperately floated away, only for the Swablu to wheel around slam onto the Pokemon.

    “It can use Arial Ace…though it seems to be a bit out of control,” Claudia chuckled nervously, she was mostly amazed by how quickly the Swablu had charged into battle.

    Zephyr didn’t say anything, instead she frowned slightly; however, there was something strange about her though as her frown quickly changed into a smile.

    “Let’s settle this then,” she stated, her tone sounding a bit more cheerful now.

    To be Continued…

    End of Chapter 34
    Next Time: Two Different Worlds

  7. #352
    Because I like Tophats Tophat Dragoneye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Good to see your story is back, Flaze. Now for the review of the chapter. I might jump a bit back and forth just so you know. First the boring part:

    Miko felt wind hit her once more as she came through the transport, she noticed that she and Gothitelle were about a mater above Alexa, giving Miko enough time to press the button on her pokeball and release it.
    You're missing "the" between "felt" and "wind", and "mater" is spelled "meter".

    At that moment she was a large fireball fly towards her and her Pokemon, with Vulpix managing to block it this time with a Flamethrower attack.
    This sentence doesn't make much sense because of "was" which I presume is supposed to be "saw".

    First off, I liked the fact that Reggie's training/torture with Darren is paying off now and he even stands (for the time being) a fair chance against Kevin and you've described how he reacts to it quite well. And even though we didn't see all much of their fight, it was well detailed and gave me a clear view in my mind of what is going on.

    Now onwards to Miko's and Darren's fights. Their interactions was the main focus of this part in my opinion and I liked it. We also some character development between them as well. Miko stepping up against Darren when he wouldn't cooperate and playing a huge role in winning the round is a big step for her in my eyes. If I remember correctly, not everything has gone right for her for a while, especially to when it comes to the love triangle with her, Kevin and Reggie, so it's quite nice to see something to succeed for her.
    Darren's development is also good, though it took some yelling from Miko for that to happen (I'm starting to think he has some weakness to the opposite gender). Darren have actually in some ways finally acknowledged the importance of teamwork. He didn't take his lost against Keith as badly as he would in the last fic you made, though he's still annoyed by it and that's understandable considering his current losing streak.

    Throughout Claudia's fight, we get some more insight about her, we learned that she's the daughter of a famous reporter, who wanted her daughter to be the same as her despite Glaudia's wishes against that. Makes me wonder where it went wrong, considering she has worked with the Media club for a while. Anyway, we also finally get confirmation that she's in love with Reggie and that she actually resents Miko for being his girlfriend (and all of a sudden, the love triangle I talked about before becomes a love square (is that even a word?)). All that fact comes of course from Zephyr's taunting with the purpose of shaking Claudia from the core (I do wonder how she got all that information). But we do get to see Claudia recover from that after running into a wild Swablu (the same one as the one from a few chapters ago?) and we actually see her steel herself for the battle against Zephyr. Considering that I always have seen her as a sensitive and insecure person, that is a big step for her. Nevertheless, there wasn't as much character development here as other places, but made it up for more detailed information about Claudia.

    Overall, a lot of character development in this chapter and the various battles here were also well-detailed. Keep up the good work.

    Many thanks to Blue Dragon for the signature

    ONE-shot: Forced into Retirement

  8. #353

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    A great chapter with interesting interactions. I'm fairly curious as to why Reggie's body is moving the way it did, but don't quite care as I'm overly satisfied at him having punched Kevin so many Reggie fans cheered at that I bet

    The double battle was quite entertaining and I personally liked how it wasn't focused on just Darren's part. Also, when Marie yelled at him, I remembered the ramen expression(could it be that he's supposed to allow the other ingredients(trainers) help him out and work with them to create something truly mouthwatering?) and having them jump off the mountain was a nice touch which caught me off guard XD

    Claudia's battle...you have no idea how much I've looked forwards to this. Seeing the Swablu return was awesome, though it looks like things are just getting started!

    Keep up the good work, overall description was quite well done, and the twists were all great fun, only tip for this chapter, you have a few repetitive portions where you describe a character as feeling something, then they say out loud how they feel

  9. #354
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    At that moment she was a large fireball fly towards her and her Pokemon, with Vulpix managing to block it this time with a Flamethrower attack.
    This sentence doesn't make much sense because of "was" which I presume is supposed to be "saw".[/QUOTE]

    Well now I feel bad for not being able to see that, there are still some things I miss it seems but I'll fix it.

    First off, I liked the fact that Reggie's training/torture with Darren is paying off now and he even stands (for the time being) a fair chance against Kevin and you've described how he reacts to it quite well. And even though we didn't see all much of their fight, it was well detailed and gave me a clear view in my mind of what is going on.
    I'm glad you think so, I was actually afraid that the fight would end up coming off as rushed, I'm not used to writing human on human fights so I was a bit nervous especially since this is a fight I've been wanting to write for a long time, though it's still just a part of what's to come :p

    Now onwards to Miko's and Darren's fights. Their interactions was the main focus of this part in my opinion and I liked it. We also some character development between them as well. Miko stepping up against Darren when he wouldn't cooperate and playing a huge role in winning the round is a big step for her in my eyes. If I remember correctly, not everything has gone right for her for a while, especially to when it comes to the love triangle with her, Kevin and Reggie, so it's quite nice to see something to succeed for her.
    Yeah I was originally going to have Miko and Darren lose their battle but then I decided that I've been mean to Miko lately and figured letting her win would be better for her development.

    Darren's development is also good, though it took some yelling from Miko for that to happen (I'm starting to think he has some weakness to the opposite gender). Darren have actually in some ways finally acknowledged the importance of teamwork. He didn't take his lost against Keith as badly as he would in the last fic you made, though he's still annoyed by it and that's understandable considering his current losing streak.
    Well he didn't acknowledged it per se, but more like he's not going to rule it out as he did before, he's still far from being a team player.

    And yeah I wanted to show a bit more of Claudia's past and feelings in this chapter as I hadn't been able to express it more back during the library challenge as I wanted to.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Jingster View Post
    The double battle was quite entertaining and I personally liked how it wasn't focused on just Darren's part. Also, when Marie yelled at him, I remembered the ramen expression(could it be that he's supposed to allow the other ingredients(trainers) help him out and work with them to create something truly mouthwatering?) and having them jump off the mountain was a nice touch which caught me off guard XD
    Ding ding ding! You got it right! what Incendio meant back when he and Darren battled was that if Darren wanted to become stronger he had to accept people's help and be willing to work together with others rather than just fight on his own. You get a cookie.

  10. #355
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Soulmaster; @Instrutilus; @Tophat Dragoneye; @The Jingster; @System Error; @AetherX; @Gotpika;

    And I'm actually kind of happy that I've been able to post two chapters in one moth xD yay! I'm really happy with this chapter, hopefully I caught everything that might've caused problems.

    This chapter is actually a chapter that I have been thinking about, changing, and so on so forth, it's basically a chapter that I've been waiting a long time to finally write and put up similarly to the confession chapter.

    And this chapter officially marks the end of the Enforcers Arc so I'm happy for that too, though we'll be seeing the Enforcers more soon enough.

    Chapter 35: Two Different Worlds

    “Well this sucks, if only I could run faster!” Fin yelled as he ran through the halls of the stadium, panting with sweat running down his face. He had immediately taken off into sprinting as soon as his battle was done, mostly because of one specific reason…Reggie.

    After his battle had finished Valerie texted Fin about Reggie’s decision to change the challenge rules for his and Kevin’s battles, a decision that shocked everyone including him.

    He was genuinely worried though, he knew that Reggie had been training under Darren but that didn’t mean he could stand up to someone that had had professional trainers in multiple fields.

    Fin put those thoughts on the back of his head as he ran into the stadium and came into view with the roaring crowd. They hadn’t exactly gotten any quieter from when the challenge started, but the tension had quickly increased. He looked towards the large screen that presented itself in front of the crowd, showing what was going on in Reggie’s field.

    What he saw next shocked him beyond belief though. Kevin and Reggie were standing parallel to each other, both of them panting as they kept up their fighting stances; however, unlike what he had originally expected Reggie actually seemed to be less fatigued while Kevin not only seemed more tired but also had multiple bruises around his body and a few on his face.

    “Is he actually winning?” Fin questioned, his tone sounding more surprised than he probably should’ve been. “Good thing I didn’t bet or I would’ve lost a lot of money.”

    “Nice to see you’re here,” Fin lowered his gaze down towards the seats that were right below him, only to come into view with Jack and Marie; who was waving at him.

    “You suck you know that?” grunted Jack.

    Fin immediately frowned at this. “Oh like you can talk, Mr. Strategist,” Fin fired back, something that made the Pikachu Thunder student turn away and grimace in return.

    “Now now, don’t argue, this isn’t what we should worry about right now,” Marie laughed nervously before she turned to look at the screen once more. “The fight has been going on for a few minutes now so I’m kind of surprised that they can last,” she spoke with a more concerned tone.

    She was clearly worried about Reggie, while the two hadn’t had a chance to talk to each other much since the year before she still saw him as an important friend, there was also the fact that she knew Reggie wasn’t one for fighting and that’s an image that was just hard for her to replace. “Honestly I don’t know, he’s been doing good but there’s just something weird.”

    “So you noticed too,” Jack spoke out, his tone becoming more serious.

    “Notice what? Huh? Is there something I’m not seeing?” Fin moved his head around; almost as if he was trying to search for something that he couldn’t see on the screen.

    “Kevin is supposedly more experienced than Reggie is right? So then why would his stamina lower so much?” Jack argued with a raised eyebrow. “On that note, there’s the fact that while Reggie’s reaction time is amazing it’s still kind of weird that he’s managed to land almost every hit he’s thrown at Kevin.”

    “Really? Why’s he still standing though?”

    “Because Reggie’s hits aren’t strong enough, sure he’s wearing the weights but he has to hold back or else he’ll strain his arms and could hurt Kevin more than he wants to,” Jack explained, his eyes fixated on the screen now. “So if they’re not strong enough to knock him out even after taking that many then why’s he so tired? It’s not like they have been moving that much and he’s completely free while Reggie has those weights. Plus you have to consider the damage that he’s causing to his body by moving around so much with those things.”

    “Now that you mention it…I hadn’t thought about that,” Marie scratched her chin in curiosity. It was true that Reggie himself had said that his punches weren’t that strong and it was also strange that Kevin; who had flaunted about being more skillful had been hit so easily before.

    “That’s because the fight hasn’t started yet Jack,” the group raised their heads in surprise as they turned to look towards Darren and Miko; who were now standing next to Fin. Miko didn’t say anything, not even waving as them as she stared at the screen.

    If Marie looked worried then she was scared, she was holding her hands to her chest, her eyes staring at the screen in longing and sadness. “I hope he’s okay though,” she pointed out before looking at Darren. “If you’re right then, do you think he can win?”

    “I don’t know,” Darren shrugged, his tone sounding as if he wasn’t interested on the subject at hand. “Honestly, it’s not something that I can decide yet.”

    “Meh…all this tension sucks,” Fin sighed in frustration as he stared at the screen. “Can’t we ever have a day where our only worries are about who’s gonna buy pizza or something.”

    “And maybe you should shut up,” Darren frowned. Fin didn’t say anything, instead he just moved his lips as if he was repeating and mocking what Darren had said.


    Kevin and Reggie panted in unison, their eyes never shifting from each other as they both waited for their opponent to make the first move. Reggie was pretty proud of himself, he still had plenty of energy to keep going and so far it seemed like he had backed Kevin into a corner.

    He was worried about the others though, even if he was able to win his fight against Kevin it would all be rendered mute as long as the others hadn’t at least won two other matches; however, he was mostly worried about Miko and about how working with Darren would end up.

    He was pulled out of his thoughts by a charging Kevin, who immediately made Reggie jump away. He spun around on his heels before thrusting his palm forward, his palm practically cutting through the air as it slammed against Kevin’s chest. The teenager groaned and stepped back just as Reggie did the same. He was actually shocked at how easy it seemed to have gone, especially since his arms were starting to feel heavier with every strike he made.

    He charged forward at Kevin this time, dead set on finishing the fight as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, Kevin was able to see this and before Reggie’s fist could hit its mark he moved out of the way. Kevin then proceeded to throw his right arm forward and slam it against Reggie’s gut; causing the Charizard Red to gasp at the loss of air and be thrown back.

    He clutched onto his chest as he coughed from the force of the impact. Kevin’s punches up to that point were pretty normal in strength, they hurt but he could take it, but now it was as if he had increased his strength tenfold.

    “Surprised?” He raised his head and came into view with a smirking Kevin, his chest wasn’t heaving anymore and he seemed to be moving slightly better than before. “I bet you thought that you were gonna win didn’t you? It’s too bad that you have no luck.”

    “You were faking it all this time?” Reggie raised an eyebrow as he frowned and tried to stand up once more. “No way, those punches should’ve hurt you.”

    “They do hurt, but thankfully you’re not dumb enough to give up balance for strength so they’re not really that strong when you hold yourself back,” Kevin reckoned as he charged towards Reggie once more.

    The 17 year old gritted his teeth as he assumed his fighting stance once more, just in time to move away from a straight punch delivered by Kevin. It wasn’t until he did this that he noticed Kevin’s left fist slamming against his cheek as he pulled his right arm back. Kevin didn’t stop there though and proceeded to slam his elbow against Reggie’s other cheek; managing to throw him to the floor.

    Nothing else but the searing pain coursed through Reggie’s mind as he stayed on the floor, the burning and painful feeling of Kevin’s strikes taking full force and spreading across his body and was even causing him to spit out some blood. All of this was coupled with something that Reggie had been ignoring up to that point…fatigue.

    The weights on his wrists were starting to feel even heavier and his body was starting to give out on him and his chest kept heaving desperately.

    “You know this is your fault for actually falling for it, you’re fighting an actor after all of course I’m going to deceive you,” Kevin mocked, his body now towering over Reggie. “And now that I turned this match around I can embarrass you in front of the whole school, and that’s not even enough for stealing from me!” he hissed before raising his leg and proceeding to kick at Reggie’s ribs, causing the latter to groan in pain and roll around.

    “I bet you’re pretty happy at being with Miko aren’t you…you get to be with one of the prettiest girls, you’re surrounded by friends and you even have an amazing Pokemon, so fucking perfect huh?”

    Kevin raised his hand up to his chest and closed his eyes, almost as if he was thinking about something. Reggie took advantage of this to finally stand back up from the ground as he started to fidget with the weights so as to take them off.


    Back in the stands the group was anything but happy with the recent outcome, Fin had finally taken a seat but he was practically jumping out of it in disgust. “I can’t believe that asshole!”

    “In his defense, Reggie was the one that switched the rules of the match,” Jack coughed; something that earned him a glare from his friend. “Just saying,” he shrugged.

    “Honestly Reggie should’ve seen this coming so I don’t know why you guys are so mad,” Darren sighed, mostly out of exasperation for the way the group was acting. Regardless of what they said Reggie and Kevin were fighting, and deceive was a big part of fighting at least in his eyes. Of course he couldn’t say this out loud, especially when he stood besides Miko herself; who had actually gone completely quiet as the fight had developed.

    “I’m a freaking idiot aren’t I?” Miko muttered, her head falling and staring at the ground. “It’s because of what I did that Reggie’s suffering right now, it’s because of that that he feels like he has to prove himself…because I can’t deal with my own problems.”

    “Yes, that’s exactly right,” Darren stated bluntly. This answer of course caused the rest of the group to immediately turned to him, with Jack and Marie giving him shocked expressions while Fin glared at him. “What? It’s the truth. She started dating Kevin, then she left him for Reggie then she started feeling insecure and allowed Kevin’s words to actually cause her to question her choices which in turn made Reggie more determined and stupid in dealing with Kevin. Honestly I actually respect the guy more for doing this, you get nothing.” He replied bitterly and turned away from the girl.

    “Of course Reggie’s just as stupid for doing all of this in the first place, but I digress.”

    “Honestly I feel like this whole thing is being blown out of proportion,” the group turned to look towards Stacy, whose voice had actually shocked them all and brought them out of their trance. “I mean this is supposed to be some kind of competition for the school, I think it was really stupid for him to turn it into something so petty as a brawl and for something so silly like proving he’s more suited to be with Miko, honestly I think this actually accomplishes the opposite.”

    “You can be a bit colder if you’d like teach,” Fin deadpanned as his gaze hung on Stacy, it’s true that he bothered Reggie about a lot of things but he didn’t feel right in letting her talk so badly about his best friend.

    “Well it’s the truth, he thinks he’s making himself look like some sort of hero but he’s putting the two of them in danger and could get the whole academy into trouble for allowing this fight,” Stacy retorted with a bitter expression showing on her face. “It’s irresponsible and immature.”

    Miko didn’t respond, instead she turned to look towards the screen as Kevin landed a hit on Reggie’s gut, causing the Charizard Flame student to step back and groan as he clutched it.

    “I guess even you can’t last for too long,” Kevin snickered as he paced towards Reggie once more. “You know, you set this upon yourself, I mean changing the rules of the challenge to a fight, was it because you thought you could beat me that way?” he asked as he sported a large grin on his face. “Putting weights around your wrists that would surely hurt me if not leave me in a hospital, it seems like you’re the bad guy here.”

    “Shut up Kevin,” Reggie groaned as he assumed his fighting stance once more.

    “But why should I? I’m in the right after all, you’re the one that stole Miko from me cause of your jealousy and you’re the one that challenged me to a fight thinking that you could beat me up and show me…show me what? That you’re unsure of your relationship?” Kevin questioned, now leaning closer to a seemingly disturbed Kevin.

    He had been prepared for Kevin’s mind tricks, he was a master in deceit after all, but after all that came before and after losing his advantage he was starting to feel like things weren’t going as he originally expected them to.

    The next thing he heard was a sound so loud that it couldn’t escape his ears, it was also a sound that he recognized rather well. He turned towards the screen and was greeted by the sight of the crowd beginning to boo at him. They seemed to be annoyed and bothered by what had happened and it was obvious that Kevin’s words had swayed them.

    “People are easy to fool,” Kevin replied with a snicker as he pocketed his hands. He was pretty proud of himself, not only had he been able to take advantage back from Reggie but he had also turned the crowd against him.

    And why wouldn’t it go just as he expected it? That’s how the world really was, he knew it from the start, that deceit was the only way for one to triumph. “This is how things are Reggie, people can be deceived easily, especially if it’s something that is easy to believe or if the person that says it is someone that influences them.”

    “You make think that having your little friends and adventures changes things, but people will always leave those that are useless and side with those that are superior, that goes for your little friends as well.”

    “You’re lying!” Reggie protested, his teeth gritting in annoyance as he glared at Kevin. “You’re always trying to play mental games on people but you do nothing but lie to everyone and it’s only something you use to wi…”

    “But is it really all just tricks?” Kevin wondered, his smug grin never leaving him as he stared back at his opponent. It was all just a matter of time before he was able to break through Reggie’s resolve and once he did he would finally able to get back at him for having taken Miko. It wasn’t so much the fact that he took her from her but the fact that it went against what he believed, why would Miko leave someone like him? Someone so influential and loved by others in order to be with Reggie.

    “Reggie, I’m not just talking cause I want to, ever since I was young I’ve seen it. People always stuck to my father in order to have the support of his company, they all begged to get a chance at being on his good side and they all tried to played games on him to do so,” Kevin’s tone had gotten ever so somber, almost as if he was remembering something that had upset him. “They even used me and the rest of my family, they tried to deceive us in order to win…that’s why I’m not willing to believe you and your friends, because there’s no way in hell that bonds like those exist.”

    He then turned towards the screen, he gesturing towards the crowd with his eyes as he kept looking at Reggie from the corner of them. “The same can be said in this situation, I played with the crowd and in the end they all turned against their supposed hero…because you’ve got nothing to offer.”

    Reggie didn’t respond, still maintaining his stance as he turned away from Kevin. He knew what Kevin was trying to say. He knew because he had been on the other end of the spectrum, being forgotten and mistreated by others because he wasn’t special; even now it bothered him and even now he wondered if the bonds he had made in the academy were actually true.

    Even if he hated it he had to admit that Kevin was right, he was unsure of his relationship, he was unsure of all his relationships even now; but how couldn’t he be, when every time he thought he had climbed out of a ditch he would always be pushed back down.

    However, as this thought circled his head he also heard another familiar sound. “Chi!” Reggie raised his head in surprised, wheeling around so that he would come face to face with the dragon Pokemon, who was now looking at him with determination; almost as if he knew that Reggie was doubting himself yet again.

    Chigon was right, he had promised himself to be more sure and to face his problems straight on instead of doubting himself and running away like he had always done.

    “Why are you just standing there Reggie, beat his ass!” Reggie and Kevin both raised their heads this time and looked at the screen.

    What he found this time was something that made him chuckle, a smile crawling over his face when he saw a protesting Fin throwing his fists in the air and standing on top of his chair flailing his arms; something that had caused the rest of the crowd to turn to him. “Don’t listen to that cheap psychology, you’ve been working damn hard this last month all for this! Besides do you really think we’re that evil!”

    As crazy as it was that last statement was something that made him come to, he shouldn’t doubt his friends, the people that he had fought alongside with and worked together for a long time.

    “He’s right Reggie!” he heard Valerie speak this time, something that shocked him as she was supposed to be neutral as the announcer. “The crowd just doesn’t know the other side of the story so forget about all that, you’ve got something to fight for and while this isn’t the best way to do it it’s still something you’re doing for yourself and I believe in that.”

    He saw as the camera focused on his friends sitting on the stands, who were now being looked down on by the rest of the crowd. They didn’t seem to care though; instead they all looked up to the screen with reassuring smiles on their faces.

    The thing that made his heart skip was when he saw Miko. She was giving him a sincere warm smile as she nodded her head towards him and he in turn smiled back.

    That’s right; he didn’t need the support of anyone but the rest of his friends and Miko, the most important person in his life and the person that had stood by him since everything started back when they were first years.

    “See, my speech worked,” Fin spoke with an air of smugness as he raised his head in pride.

    “Sure it did…” Jack trailed off, now tugging on his jacket to get his attention. “Sit back down already.”

    Reggie turned back to a now seemingly annoyed Kevin. His eyes twitched slightly while he glared at the screen. He could tell that he seemed a lot grumpier than he was before, and it was no doubt due to his plan to break Reggie’s resolve failing on him.

    “Well there you go Kevin,” Reggie grinned, his fists clenching tighter and his left foot sliding forward. “I don’t need the cheap cheers of a crowd, I don’t even need cheers because as long as I know I have their support I’ll be all right!” He exclaimed as he raised his gaze so that he could look even deeper into Kevin’s eyes; something that caused his opponent to step back.

    “That’s just a cheesy line! And I’m not willing to believe that!” Kevin screamed in rage.

    With that he charged forward in what seemed like ages and aimed his for a left hook at Reggie’s gut once more. Reggie was able to see through this attack and stepped aside by sliding to his right, thus avoiding the strike from Kevin. “There’s no way I’m willing to believe that people like them can exist.”

    He raised his right leg and spun around; whipping it at Reggie who was hit head on by the back kick. Reggie staggered but he was in no way down and before Kevin’s leg had completed its spin he charged forward and jabbed his fist square against his face, the sound of his nose breaking as he was thrown back.

    Both of them panted heavily, staring at each other and hoping for the other to fall first; however, they both knew that they wouldn’t be able to stay on their feet for too long.

    And with that they both charged at each other one last time, their fists held back before flinging them back at each other for a jab.

    The two strikes crossed each other as both fighters received their opponent’s fist full on against their faces, the searing pain slowly making its way through their cheeks and bodies.

    Both of them were done, but neither of them were willing to back down and even the crowd itself had been left at the edge of their seat at the sight of the fight.

    Regardless it came to an end. Both Reggie and Kevin stepped back from each other and lowered their arms once more.

    Both of their legs gave out simultaneously, causing them to fall to their knees before the rest of their bodies followed suit.

    Reggie could feel himself hit the ground with a loud thud, followed by another thud that he assumed was from Kevin. He wanted to stand up, he begged his body to stand up but it was all futile. The last thing he heard was the sound of Valerie speaking to the crowd as he began to slowly sink into the darkness.


    The crowd was baffled as the screen went dark; they all looked at each other trying to make sense of what had happened, almost as if they had forgotten about the outrage they had caused earlier. Valerie was equally confused, the fight had ended in a draw but she didn’t know how that would affect the challenge itself.

    “So…who won?” Miko raised an eyebrow in curiosity, though she seemed worried about Reggie’s wellbeing after the outcome of the fight.

    “Well it seems like everyone’s calmed down huh?” the crowd turned towards the bottom of the stands as Brendan walked towards Valerie. Following behind him were Incendio and Freed, with the former sporting a grin on his face as he gazed at the crowd.

    “Thanks for helping us out as the announcer for today Valerie,” Brendan bowed politely in front of a now embarrassed Valerie. It was only now that she realized her breaking her role as the announcer by cheering for Reggie and this in turned caused her to blush in embarrassment. “It’s okay,” Brendan chuckled. “It’s impossible to be completely neutral in these situations, you did good,” he reassured her by patting her shoulder before grabbing the microphone.

    “Well I’m sure you all enjoyed the show thus far,” Brendan turned towards the crowd as he held the microphone close to his mouth. “As you saw just now both Kevin Samuels and Reggie Damon decided to change the rules of their fight, which resulted in a draw between them both.”

    The big screen turned back on and proceeded to show the scoreboard from before. The score now showed the Enforcers with two and a half points while the Media Club had one and a half points. The rest of the Media Club looked at the board as they made their way to the stage, they were all hoping that Claudia had been able to beat Zephyr.

    Fin shifted his eyes to Valerie. “Claudia’s battle! We forgot about it!”

    Valerie realized what he was trying to say and began to fidget around while trying to get the screen to focus back on the Dark Forest. “It seems we got carried away with this fight and forgot to keep track of the fight between Claudia and Zephyr so we will bring you back to that for now,” Brendan laughed, he seemed to be just as embarrassed about it.

    The camera zoomed on the Dark Forest and began to move around in search of both of the participants. Unfortunately, the cameras proved to be fruitless as there was no sign of either Claudia or Zephyr in the forest. “Where did they go?” Miko asked curiously as she stared at the screen.

    “Well they must’ve ended their battle and are on their way back.”

    The group spun around so as to come face to face with the Enforcers, minus Kevin and Zephyr of course, making their way towards the stage. Keith looked at the group for a moment before turning to Darren. “It seems like we’ll have to wait to decide.”

    The group didn’t have the heart to say anything. In truth, they still doubted Claudia’s ability to beat Zephyr; it’s not that they didn’t believe in her but rather the fact that they just hadn’t seen her fight so as to think that she would be able to win.

    “Even you guys doubt it seems,” Angelo grinned with confidence as he crossed his arms.

    “Angelo don’t be an ass,” Alexa argued while turning to glare at him, though all she got from Angelo was a playful smile that caused a small blush to cross her face. “Anyways, we shouldn’t count our eggs before they hatch,” she added.

    “Looks like we’re the only ones left.”

    From the hallway that connected the locker rooms with the stage came Zephyr, with Claudia walking right behind her and pushing Zephyr’s wheelchair along. The two of them immediately attracted the crowd’s attention as they headed towards their respective group.

    “Zephyr, I trust everything went well,” Keith pointed out while crossing his arms.

    “What happened Claudia?” Miko asked, she immediately walking towards the girl who in turned looked at her. She was still a bit shaken by what Zephyr had said; however, she knew it wasn’t the time to think about that.

    “I don’t know myself,” Claudia shook her head. “I was about to fight Zephyr and then she told me we had to head back and led me back here.” She stared at Zephyr; who had stayed quiet after they entered the stage.

    Both of the group as well as the audience stared, waiting for Zephyr to speak. “Um…Zephyr, was yours and Claudia’s battle decided?” Brendan asked.

    “Yes, yes it was,” was all Zephyr said as she proceeded to grab the mic from Brendan and face the crowd. “My opponent Claudia Sect fought bravely against me, and for that I have decided to forfeit my match!” she announced proudly, and thus bringing the crowd to a quiet followed by them exchanging bewildered expressions.

    “Um…but why?” Valerie stuttered, she was still shocked by the fact that Zephyr would actually give Claudia the victory.

    “Yeah Zephyr why!?” Tyson exclaimed, though he was quieted by Keith holding his arms in front of him. “You know we already have an advantage!”

    “I don’t care about that you insolent red head.”

    Tyson stepped back, his head falling to the floor as he muttered. “You’re a redhead too.”

    “Anyways, was it not in the rules of the challenge that the fight would be decided when one of the two participants forfeited?” Zephyr inquired with a raised eyebrow that matched her emotionless expression.

    “Yeah, that was the rule,” Valerie nodded her head in agreement.

    Claudia didn’t reply, instead she just stared at Zephyr in surprise. She wasn’t expecting her to forfeit, especially since the two still had great differences between each other. “But…I do want to know why.”

    Zephyr just stared back and smiled before rolling towards her and holding her hand out to the young female. “I knew that our differences in skill and strength were obvious and that’s why I decided that fighting based on that would be useless, I don’t like to win a battle where I have a clear chance of winning, it ruins the competition aspect.”

    “That’s why I hid in the forest, I wasn’t just making use of the environment, that was my own change of rules, by hiding I was challenging you to a sort of hide and seek game,” she explained while raising her index finger. “When you finally found me and managed to reach me you completed the game and as thus bested me…so I commend you for that, you proved that even someone with little experience could still win, you took on everything I threw at you and overcame it.”

    Claudia smiled back at Zephyr as pride and happiness made its way through her body. She felt her glasses fog up a bit as she grabbed her hand. She was happy, happy that she was finally able to help the rest of the group, happy that she had shown that she too had what it take to win.

    Brendan grinned at this display as he looked at Keith. “And are you guys okay with this?”

    “We are okay with it,” Keith nodded his head solemnly. “It was Zephyr’s battle so it’s up to her to decide what she wants.”

    Keith whirled in other to face the crowd and proceeded to bow politely. “As for what happened between Kevin and Reggie, I hope none of you look at Reggie or the rest of his group badly, Kevin did have a point but he agreed to the fight in the end instead of stopping it and insisting to go against him,” he explained as he pocketed his hands. “We had originally accepted Kevin because we wanted him to work as a mediator between us and the rest of the student body due to his talents, but he acted irresponsibly, he accepted this fight then proceeded to pull tricks and then even though he could’ve stopped it he decided to mock Reggie even more.”

    “So as the fight today it’s safe to say that neither of them were right, and that’s why I ask of you to ignore this situation because this was supposed to be an event for the whole academy to enjoy and we don’t want there to be trouble between students.”

    The crowed began to mutter amongst themselves, some of them seemed to be agreeing with Keith while others began to look down in regret, though not everyone seemed to agree but at least they all understood what he was trying to say.

    “With that in mind I’d like to bring these games to an end with this final announcement,” Brendan raised his left arm and pointed towards the scoreboard. “It’s been decided that with two and a half points each the battle between the Enforcers and the Media Club ends in a draw!”

    “Yes!” The Media Club cheered, their fists thrown into the air as they ran towards Claudia and proceeded to hug her; something that in turn made the girl smile as she tried to stop her glasses from falling.

    The Enforcers still seemed a bit sore about the result but they nevertheless clapped along with the crowd as they walked to their opponents.

    “Finally done,” Brendan nodded his head happily, though his grin still hadn’t passed. “Freed, call the principals from Knight, Rogue and Pendulum Academy…tell them I’ve picked.”

    To be Continued…

    End of chapter 35
    Next Time: Afterthoughts
    Last edited by Flaze; 20th June 2013 at 08:14 PM.

  11. #356

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    First of all, just let me say, holy bleep. Having read everything starting with Dragon's Roar, the first part of this review is pretty much a summary of what's been said before: blah blah grammar issues, blah blah much improved, blah blah still some mistakes. Reggie's been one of the best original characters I've seen in any fanfic, and the entire cast, while quite large, showcases everything quite well. I've also enjoyed the nameless mentions to A.D. every time Reggie's about to get his bell rung with that one simple word: "DODGE!!!" The way that last chapter went down set up perfectly for that foreshadowed event mentioned in DR's first epilogue. Can't wait to see what that turns out to be, especially with Reggie potentially meeting up with his brother again. And with whatever Memento Moir's plans are, bleep's about to get real.

    By the way, I'd like to be added to the tag list.

  12. #357
    Because I like Tophats Tophat Dragoneye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    It certainly has been a while since we last saw Chigon, even when this was just a small moment. I kinda miss seeing the little fella in action...

    It was quite a surprise to see Kevin to be that cynical when it comes to friendship. I understand him being vengeful against Reggie because of his previous relationship with Miko, but loathing the very notion of having friends is a big characterization for a person like him and serves as a stark contrast to Reggie. I'm personally keen to see how you're going to further develop him as a character.

    As for the fight between him and Reggie, I was having difficulty to predict the outcome of the fight between them since it went back and forth between them, with Reggie at first having the advantage thanks to his training, only to be revealed that Kevin was playing along, so to speak, to Reggie finally pulling his act together and managed to get a draw. The fact that I had difficulty figuring out how it would end was great since it kept me hooked to the fight.

    Reggie's development during this fight was good and interesting, since we've known for a while that he had trouble with doubting his friendships plus his relationship with his girlfriend. It was great to see him finally stand up and see his doubts go away.

    The result of Claudia's and Zephyr's battle was the big surprise of this chapter. I had expected some sort of battle after Claudia found her opponent in the forest, but for Zephyr to turn the battle into a challenge instead of a normal battle to give Claudia a fair chance is quite considerate of her when you think about how the rest of the Enforcers are like. Speaking of that, were did the Swablu go, by the way? Is it with Claudia at the moment?

    At any rate, I enjoyed reading this chapter, as it was well described and gave me a clear vision of what is going on. Though it had some errors here and there, it was nevertheless understandable.

    Many thanks to Blue Dragon for the signature

    ONE-shot: Forced into Retirement

  13. #358
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I'm glad you noticed the differences that Reggie and Kevin showed in this chapter actually, cause that was actually part of the point. Kevin's really cynical about the idea of friendship thanks to his mantra of deceiving before being deceived, as thus his will and ideals clash with those of Reggie's. The funny thing is that the both of them have actually grown on different ends of the spectrum with Kevin being popular and garnering a lot of attention while Reggie was always on his own but it's also because of all his attention that Kevin ended up meeting people that weren't so nice while Reggie had the luck of managing to gather a group of honest friends.

    This is also the reason why the chapter was called Two Worlds, because it shows how two people were raised and developed in two different worlds, this chapter also worked to showcase how different (and frankly strange) Reggie's group is when compared to the majority of the academy.

    I actually wanted the fight to be longer but I didn't want to make it seem too out there that a pair of teenagers could take so much damage, but I'm glad that you were at the edge of your seat.

    Well Zephyr is different compared to the other Enforcers, she likes to keep things as fair as possible.

  14. #359
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    This was an interesting chapter, I enjoyed Reggie's development and Zephyr, despite being an antagonist going the route she did was quite noble of her. It shows the characters in a different light, this chapter. I legit enjoyed the overall tone and aura of it all, the challenges and fight and Kevin's view on friendship was something unexpected. Having something against simply having friends is a pretty big deal. I'm wondering if the Enforcers will appear and play a big role in the future.

  15. #360

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    sorry for making you wait for this review but all in all, it was a very good chapter(dare I say the best one thus far?!)

    My biggest issue with the chapter would be that there are some spots where you switch tense (suddenly using past tense when you were using present or vice versa) which stopped the action for an instant, though they were few and far between. The action was easily imaginable and had some vivid description, not to mention that every character in the main cast which was shown added their own unique flare to the situation (Fin's impulsiveness, Miko barely using words to cheer Reggie up, Darren's straightforwardness) and most of all, I now look forwards for Reggie scenes than Darren ones :D

    Also claudia's anticlimatic win which revealed that it had ended last chapter XD

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