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  1. #211
    How puzzling! Protopost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Ooooo, new antagonists, these enforcers seem......like jerkasses, well, probably just this guy, and probably something I'm not aware of happened. I love Fin's advice and just how he gave it, and I love how Darren revealed the truth behind Reggie's motivations. Explains alot.....keep up the good work, and remember to seek out them grammars issues.

  2. #212
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Actually I fixed a lot of grammar issues xD there are still some that I missed but I'll try to get them all next time.

    Fin's deeper than he makes himself look like, the guy has a lot of life experience when it comes to things.

    As for the Enforcers they will be really important for character development, actually you can already notice some things coming into play here, Allison joining the newspaper club, Reggie falling from his high horse, Brendan setting a group much more capable than ours, there's still a lot to see.

    As for Reggie, well all I can say is that you should expect him to fall lower and lower.

  3. #213
    Because I like Tophats Tophat Dragoneye's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I liked this chapter very much. Now that I think about it, after Dragon's Roar, Reggie was a bit selfish up until now and this chapter helped pointing it out. I suppose it's because that he was responsible for defeating Charles and his monster and his overall role in the matters.
    The guy who defeated Darren sure takes things to the extreme if Darren is beaten up as well in a battle, really smells like trouble for our heroes. Especially considering the rest of the Enforcers haven't demonstrated their powers.

    One question: what happened to Victini? The last we heard from it, if I recall correctly, was that it was defeated alongside Chigon by Genesect.
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  4. #214
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Reggie pretty much felt overconfident he was happy witha ll the attention he was getting after the fight against Charles. That's why Reggie kept acting like a hero or like he knew what he was doing because he thought that he would be able to gather other's attention that way.

    As for Victini...well I don't know ;) we'll just have to wait and see.

  5. #215
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Oh yes, a lot of development regarding Reggie. I really like this chapter because it explained to us, or rather Darren did, why Reggie was acting the way he was. You know, I never really spotted any great flaws in Reggie's character until this chapter, it's like - suddenly everything makes sense. Perhaps what Reggie was doing was done by him unconsciously or perhaps he convinced himself that his selfishness wasn't the reason? Either way, nice work Darren!

    The Enforcers sounds a lot like The Avengers to me, haha. :P

    I can't help but wonder whether there'll come to confrontation between the new group of Enforcers and our old group which Allison just joined. The original group does have more members, though, but are they strong enough? I don't know.

    Great job! Keep up with the good work!

  6. #216
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Reggie was doing it subconsciously, part of him knew that he liked the attention but all those things were things that he passed over. The reason he has been showing faux confidence is because he wants people to think he's brave and rely and trust him. Especially with Claudia or Miko.

    Well I thought I made it obvious that our group was going to face the Enforcers xD but not just yet though.

  7. #217
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Hm....I never really thought of Reggie as being selfish and having flaws as a character, it just didn't seem natural given his demeanor and behavior most of the time. Having Darren point out Reggie's insecurities and flaws as a character was pretty nice to see, if only because I feel like it opens the door for more possible development and growth within his character. The characterization is pretty good for the most part, I wonder how Keith's Escavalier kicked Darren's Charizard's fiery arse? Audino, that thing must be helluva strong.


    I liked the interactions between most of the characters this chapter, and I certainly wonder how you're gonna raise the tension between this new group, "The Enforcers" and RegGang. The Enforcers sounds like Marvel's "The Avengers" mainly because the movie & cartoon are so popular right here in America XD I have a feeling there are more members of The Enforcers. Defiantly looking forward to the next chapter. The Enforcers seem like the haughty arrogant types.

  8. #218
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I finally caught up with they story. ...Finally... So here are my thoughts about it what I read.

    First off, When I judged your story the first time around, I deemed it to be less deserving of the award, because I saw a general lack of plot (in comparison to the others) and the characters lacking depth and entertainment value. Now, I see that this is changing, with characters like Reggie and Fin developing, and a plot beginning to come forward.

    I have to say, I'm glad to see some plot unfolding here, it's obvious with the growing amount of characters, that this will be much larger and deeper than the first book. Just be careful with your pacing, and keeping the plot from losing focus. Sometimes, when one has a big plot with lots of events taking place in between plot twists and significant events, it loses focus, makes the reader confused and lost, and just lose the overall entertainment value. Just letting you know.

    Finally, just a thought that occurred to me while reading. I noticed that Chigon is become more and more like a Digimon, with the whole evolving and digivolving and then with the fusion thing. I don't think it's bad, but seemed sorta funny/weird. Why don't you give Reggie a digivice?:P
    Last edited by Thabet; 25th May 2012 at 10:54 AM.

  9. #219
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Quote Originally Posted by Thabet View Post
    I finally caught up with they story. ...Finally... So here are my thoughts about it what I read.

    First off, When I judged your story the first time around, I deemed it to be less deserving of the award, because I saw a general lack of plot (in comparison to the others) and the characters lacking depth and entertainment value. Now, I see that this is changing, with characters like Reggie and Fin developing, and a plot beginning to come forward.

    I have to say, I'm glad to see some plot unfolding here, it's obvious with the growing amount of characters, that this will be much larger and deeper than the first book. Just be careful with your pacing, and keeping the plot from losing focus. Sometimes, when one has a big plot with lots of events taking place in between plot twists and significant events, it loses focus, makes the reader confused and lost, and just lose the overall entertainment value. Just letting you know.

    Finally, just a thought that occurred to me while reading. I noticed that Chigon is become more and more like a Digimon, with the whole evolving and digivolving and then with the fusion thing. I don't think it's bad, but seemed sorta funny/weird. Why don't you give Reggie a digivice?:P
    I honestly don't know why the characters didn't have as much depth, I think that it might've been the fact that during the previous awards I was still in the episodic arc, as thus I was worried about making each chapter have its own story and focused more on the plot of the chapter rather than the characters and flow. I'm glad that your opinion has changed though.

    I understand, I've been working around the plot a lot, I'm still indecisive since there's a lot of roads that have been paved into my mind and I still haven't decided which one I should take.

    I admit there are similarities xD and I did consider that possibility when I first thought of the concept, but I can't give Reggie a digivice xD tha'll be too much xD

  10. #220
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    @AetherX ; @Instrutilus ; @Chaosj2 ; @Cosmos ; @BlueNostalgia ; @Lugion ; @Thundagere ; @Jinoga ; @Rob Anybody ; @IVI ;;@Tsutarja ; @Octy ; @Gotpika @I'll try this out ; @Tophat Dragoneye; @Lady Lucifer; @Gotpika;


    Here's chapter 18, the continuation of chapter 17 and the official introduction of the Enforcers, hope you enjoy it.

    Chapter 18: Meet the Enforcers

    Reggie and Fin made their way through the crowd with great hurry. After seeing what had happened to Darren the two were quick to get down and out of the castle; however, doubts were still looming over their heads. Who could’ve been strong enough to take down Darren? A trainer that was even feared by third years.

    “Darren!?” Reggie exclaimed and gasped as he saw Darren’s body being carried by a teenager with platinum colored hair. He noticed that his uniform seemed slightly different to the normal but he decided to ignore that. “What happened to him?”

    “I was just following my job.” the student replied with an unemotionally cold stare. Reggie stepped back, he felt something strange, as if his soul was being ripped out of his body with every second that passed while he stared at his eyes. The feeling was familiar for some reason, and he was deadly sure of having felt the same thing before.

    “I never thought I’d actually see your face, I was beginning to believe that you weren’t even going to say hi,” Fin smirked and looked at the teenager. “It’s been a good couple years hasn’t it? Keith Gray.”

    “Gray?” Reggie gasped and turned towards Keith once more. Now he was able to recognize where he had that cold feeling before, it was the same thing he had felt when faced against Thomas Gray back in Castelia City. “He’s related to that detective?”

    “Second cousin,” Keith answered simply and shrugged. “As for you.” He turned towards Fin. “I don’t have anything to say to a useless spineless person like you.”

    “Forget about me for now. What did you do to Darren?” Fin questioned.

    “I was just following my job.” Keith nodded his head, making Reggie’s confused expression appear once more; just what did he mean when he said that he was doing his job? Keith scanned the two of them once more and kept speaking. “Darren has broken a lot of rules, skipping school, destroying school property, beating on students these are all infractions that just cannot be avoided.”

    “So in response you beat him to a pulp…that’s so fair.” Fin pointed out sarcastically, his head shaking with disappointment and disgust. “And why do you care about what he does? It’s not like you’re the law or anything, or have you become that obsessed with being like your cousin?” he smirked playfully; an expression that actually changed Keith’s demeanor to an even more menacing one.

    Keith seemed to have ignored Fin’s last comment and instead addressed the first two questions that he had given him. “Sadly for you, I am the law.” He raised his head proudly and looked down at his underclassmen with seriousness and toughness. “As of today I Keith Gray have been assigned as the new leader of the Enforcers, a group of people assigned by the principal to enforce and make sure that the rules of Elemental Academy are followed to the book.”

    “Yes, because the name Enforcers isn’t clear enough as it is,” Fin snarked.

    “As for Darren. When I was talking to him about his breaking of the rules he released his Pokémon, I just released my own to defend myself,” he said before wheeling his head halfway around so that he was staring at Darren’s unconscious face. “The fact that he’s hurt is the result of him being too close to the battle and getting caught up in the cross fire.”

    “Well he looks like he was hit head on.” Fin’s tone of voice sounded bitterer now, and his face matched his tone of voice as well. Reggie remembered this tone before, it was back when Lance had attended the academy and it was a tone that Fin always used when around people or in situations that he was bothered by. This immediately caused Reggie to wonder, what kind of past did this two have?

    “Is it my fault that my Escavalier is that strong?” the Escavalier raised its head once its name had been called and started to stare at Keith with a confused expression on its face.

    Reggie didn’t understand any of it though. His eyes went to the unconscious Darren and then fell down on Keith once more, had the principal really approved of such a group; and if so then what was the reason for it. “If you still have your doubts about us then I suggest you come to the Enforcers clubroom tomorrow, the announcement is going to be made tomorrow so you should know where it is by then.” Keith showed an uninterested expression as he walked inside of the castle with Darren.

    Reggie just stared at his back and motioned towards the floor. “So what are we gonna do about it?” was all he heard Fin ask before he began walking away.

    “I don’t know,” Reggie sighed.

    ***


    Sadly, Reggie had no choice about meeting or not meeting the Enforcers, because thanks to the recent an unexpected announcement it had now become the newspaper club’s duty to report on the newly formed group that made sure to follow the “law” of the school. “Why do I have to come?” Reggie frowned walking alongside Miko and Valerie; he still didn’t feel completely comfortable with being around the two, especially after what Darren had told him the day before.

    “Because these guys just suddenly come into the picture and to make things more mysterious they attacked Darren,” Valerie stated with a clear tone of anger and seriousness. “I really want to get to know who they are and we get a good story at the end of things.”

    “Yeah but…I think we might be diving in too deep if we go with those types of motives in mind.” Reggie looked down at the floor nervously, his memory going back to Keith the day before.

    “Don’t worry about it Reggie,” he turned to look at Miko; only for him to feel her hand over his shoulder and causing him to blush at the sudden touch. “I know you must be nervous, their leader was able to take down Darren singlehandedly but it’s not like we’re purposely going for a fight we’re just doing our job,” Miko encouraged and gave him a warm smile. “We’ll just focus on doing our jobs and everything will sort itself out.”

    “Yeah…you’re right.” Reggie nodded his head reassuringly. It had been such a long time since he had had Miko comfort him that it came off as a rather…warm feeling, to know that she cared so much about how he was dealing with his nervousness and problems.

    After walking down the hallway the group finally reached their destination. They stood in front of a wooden door that stood out like sore thumb compared to all the other room’s white doors. Reggie looked up at the sign that said “Enforcers” in large yellow lightning shape letters; there were various broken bricks around it making it look like it had broken a wall of sorts. The thing that made the three students interested in the painting was the fact that, while it looked simple, it was drawn with really great care and the effects of it complimented each other well.

    “You know I heard that the members of the Enforcers are all third years,” Valerie nodded her head; managing to get Reggie’s and Miko’s attention away from the sign. “And I heard that they were all accepted into this school through scholarships and they were all the heads of their respective club.”

    “So basically they’re an all-star team like in Basketball?” Miko raised an eyebrow and stared back at the sign. “I guess it’s understandable I mean if you’re gonna have a specific group of students set the example you might as well make them the best of the best right?”

    Reggie felt even smaller after hearing what Miko had said, taking the fact that he didn’t have Chigon he might as well call himself a below average student without it. His mind went back to the year before, he had been given a scholarship from Charles under the condition that he had to work to pay it off…a pity scholarship, that’s what it was, it was just an excuse for Charles to keep an eye on him.

    “Anyways, let’s go in.” Valerie walked to the door and opened the knob quickly, making Reggie and Miko gasp at her sudden intrusion. “Excuse me. My name’s Valerie and I’m from the newspaper club, we’ve come here for an interview,” she greeted as she walked inside.

    Reggie, Miko and Valerie proceeded to gasp as they entered the room. It was decorated with great care and perfection. There was a long wooden table that seemed to be shining with the light from the windows due to how polished it was. The table extended all the way from the entrance to the wall at the end of the room and had five seats all around it. There was a small fridge at the left corner or the room along with a TV and a state of the art XBall-390 game console attached to it.

    Valerie looked around the room at all the flower arranges that went alongside the desk, creating a small path for guests; they were well made and lacked any of the basic mistakes that you would usually be able to see in those kinds of ornaments. “Amazing, they’ve only been here a day and they’ve already done all this much.”

    “Mind if you actually pay attention to us.” The sound of Keith’s voice forcibly pulled the three of them away from the ornaments and towards the four people that were seating in each of the seats surrounding the table; aside from the one on the farthest left that seemed to be empty.

    “Don’t be so hard on them Keith, I don’t blame them for marveling at such pieces of art. It was made by moi after all.” Valerie turned to look at a boy of around 17 years of age. He seemed to stand out the most since he was wearing a black colored beret over his matching black hair, he had a mole on the left side of his face and had a pair of clear green colored eyes.

    Reggie scanned the rest of the Enforcers out, and noticed that Miko seemed to be doing the same as well. On the chair farthest to the right was a boy with wild and long red colored hair, he had a pair of burning red eyes and the expression that he used to look at Miko and Reggie was one of rage and disapproval. “That’s Tyson,” Miko whispered to Reggie’s ear. “I heard he’s the strongest trainer of Charizard Flame.”

    He looked at the girl sitting right next to him. She had long blond colored hair that fell down to her waist and a pair of hazel colored eyes, there was a certain air of seriousness in them though Reggie felt that her gaze was warmer compared to that of Keith’s.

    One thing they noticed was that each of the members of the Enforcers was wearing a white colored button shirt along with a respective color for their necks and sleeves. The three male students were wearing black, green and red respectably for their dorm while the girl wore a yellow skirt and long socks.

    “I understand your reasons for coming here,” Keith stated cordially and pointed towards a pair of chairs that were on the corner of the room. “Grab a chair, one of you can occupy the free one. Our fifth member has other matters to settle so she won’t be joining us for now.”

    “No this will be alright,” Valerie pointed out. She didn’t really want to stay too long in the room, even if she knew she couldn’t do anything about she was still angry cause of what they had done to Darren. “It’ll just be a quick interview, we want to know who the Enforcers are why they were formed and all of that.”

    “Simple is okay,” Keith nodded his head and turned to each of the members. “The Roselia Leaf student is Angelo he’s a third year and is vastly known for his great art skills.”

    “Not just great, magnifique is more like it,” Angelo smirked and leaned against his chair. “But I digress. Mon nom est Angelo. You can keep going now patron.”

    Arrêtez d'agir comme vous peut vraiment parler le français” the blond girl replied with an annoyed expression on her face. This sentence was something that ignited confusion in Reggie though, he didn’t know much about other languages so he wasn’t sure about what they had said. “Excuse him, he thinks that just cause he’s an artist he can act French,” she sighed with annoyance. “My name’s Alexa and I’m from Pikachu Thunder I used to be the head of the swimming team before joining the Enforcers.”

    “And I’m Tyson,” Tyson smirked and pointed to himself. “I used to be the head of the Battling Team. I think you should already know this since we’re in the same dorm but I understand you can be quite slow.” His eyes fell on Reggie, causing the boy to receive Tyson’s full disdain. He didn’t know why the upperclassmen was looking at him like that, it wasn’t the same as Keith who did it with everyone but more like there was actually some hatred behind Tyson’s eyes.

    “Oh yeah I heard that you were all the heads of some of these schools groups. Mind telling us more about that?” Miko asked, signaling for Valerie to take out her camera and for Reggie to search for the notepad in his pocket.

    “Yeah. Tyson was the head of the Battling Club while Angelo was the head of the Art Club,” Keith explained and leaned against his chair. “I didn’t belong to a specific club but I helped the yearbook and planning committee from time to time to plan for events.” He explained.

    “You asked about the Enforcers purpose. As you’ve heard our role in this school is to make sure that the rules are followed and that a specific order is placed.” He clenched his fist forcibly and put it down on the desk. For some reason Reggie felt like he was hearing a politician of sorts whenever Keith talked, though he assumed that was probably part of the reason he was assigned as the leader of the Enforcers.

    “Students skip class, they fight, they don’t wear the right uniform, they damage school property. All of these violations are being done over and over without any sort of change.” He raised his head once more and stared at the three students. “Violence is unacceptable and so are these simple breaks in the rules, they might be small holes but a wall can eventually break down if it is filled with holes. That’s our job, we as the Enforcers have been given the duty of fixing those holes and stop the wall from crumbling.”

    “I see.” Valerie sounded uncomfortable with her response. She didn’t really know what to say regarding the subject, especially since she knew that Keith had already set his eyes on the group for some reason.

    “Um…well, I understand the violence thing but other simpler rules aren’t exactly golden and it isn’t like they could ruin the school,” Miko shook her head in disagreement. Keith moved his head back and put his hands together; only for him to raise his head and look upwards as if he was in a trance.

    “While that is true it is still against the book of conduct.” He answered. “I’m also sure that you’re curious about what happened with Darren Schifer. That was an example of what we’ll do to rule breakers, granted violence is the last option but if they resist and attack, then we have no other choice.”

    Suddenly, Tyson stood up from his seat; causing the rest of the room to jump in surprise while he yawned, though it was obvious that the yawn was just to get attention towards himself.

    “Can we stop this boring talk,” Tyson pointed out, showing a bored expression in his face before he stared at Reggie once more. “I wanna see what the scrawny kid can do.”

    “Tyson I wasn’t done talking,” Keith gritted his teeth, it was clear that he was trying to push his frustration back after Tyson’s sudden outburst.

    “Yeah about that, I don’t care about all these rules crap I just joined cause I don’t have anything better to do with my time at the moment.” Tyson shrugged. Suddenly he swung his arm forward; causing Reggie to jump back as the hand grabbed a hold of his neck and pushed him back. “Now I’ve always wanted to see if this little Ditto can show me that he’s actually a Charizard.”

    “Hey why are you calling him a Ditto? And let go of him!” Miko was outraged and even tried to get him to let go of Reggie but was held back by Valerie. “What is it?”

    “I wouldn’t interfere, if someone is going to stop him it should be the Enforcers themselves, you could get in trouble.” Miko bit her lower lip in frustration as her eyes fell on Reggie, she didn’t know what Tyson was planning or what he could do.

    “A Ditto always transform into the Pokémon in front of it, imitating its attacks and personality,” he explained wisely before he kept going. “However, it is still a fake and once it loses the need for that image it switches back. That’s who you are Reggie Damon,” he glared down at the scared underclassmen. Reggie couldn’t help but quiver at the fear that Tyson was producing in him. He had been bullied before and had definitely had glares casted over him but for some reason; Tyson’s was even more menacing than all of them.

    “I still don’t get it though?” Reggie groaned as he tried to catch his breath from the sudden movement.

    “I’m saying that you’ve got no right to wear that jacket!” Tyson roared with an enraged tone. “The Charizard Flame dorm is a dorm of courage and strength with powerful battlers. You on the other hand are just someone pretending to be a Charizard Flame.” He quickly let go of Reggie and pushed him back, making him stumble to the floor.

    “All right I think that’s enough!” Miko growled. She stepped in between the two and flashed a similar glare to Tyson; who in turn stepped back. “Reggie was assigned to the Charizard Flame dorm and that’s that, who are you to decide what he is or isn’t?”

    “Well unlike most people I actually take pride in this uniform and my dorm,” Tyson pointed at himself proudly and smugly before watching over Miko’s shoulder towards Reggie. “He on the other hand doesn’t give a damn, he’s always scared like some weak spineless kid and his reliance on that ‘Chigon’ or whatever is the only thing that has actually gotten him a name around here,” he spat.

    “So I decided that I wanted to test him once and for all.” He took out a pokeball form his pouch. Reggie already guessed what he meant, but even as he saw his senior point the pokeball at him he still didn’t know what to do about the matter. “How about we have a battle to determine who’s strongest?” he smirked confidently.

    “I think you’ve already realized that battling inside school grounds is against the rules,” Alexa pointed out from behind him. This actually made Tyson wince, since he had apparently forgotten about that specific rule. “So I suggest you don’t open your mouth so much.”

    Tyson pocketed his hands and sighed with frustration. “See now please just leave him alone.” Valerie requested, she had stayed back during the argument because she didn’t want to get in trouble or take things out of proportion; but after knowing that the rest of the Enforcers weren’t willing on letting Tyson have his way she instantly went to cover for Reggie. “We just came here for a friendly interview.”

    “All right then I’ll give you my piece of the interview.” Tyson raised his hand lazily and pointed at the three young trainers with overconfidence. “The reason we were picked is because you guys are a bunch of cubs with their fangs taken out. You protected this school last year but now you’re acting as if none of that happened like you’re scared of admitting it.”

    Reggie’s head dropped to the floor, Tyson did have a point, even if he fought against the Black Knights it was mostly because there wasn’t any other choice and because of Skyla. In the end he was still trying to run away from the events that occurred the year before; no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

    “In fact…” he continued. “The only reason you guys even had a shot last year was because the principal made sure to keep you close while also making sure to keep us far away, after all we would’ve put his plan in a tough spot.” Miko and Valerie shifted their head uncomfortably. Tyson lowered his hand once more and proceeded to look at Keith; as if he was asking for approval on what he had done.

    “Tyson…for once I totally agree with you,” Keith stated, his face showing a cold look of approval. He rubbed the back of his head and tapped the desk quietly. “I’d like this to be out of the interview please.” He requested politely, though Reggie could tell that he was trying to hold back something inside of him. “You guys don’t have to worry about this academy anymore, don’t fight back, don’t worry and don’t even think of doing our job you just sit back and do whatever, if we see you intervening with school affairs outside of our or any of the teacher’s jurisdiction we will take action against you.”

    These were the Enforcers, a group of people that were willing to take everything the school had to offer and shelter it, both the good and bad things. Part of him felt happy that he wouldn’t have to worry about fighting anymore and yet, another part felt bad, he had finally been able to prove to himself that he had some skill and yet with every passing day that illusion became farther and farther.

    It was to fight or not to fight and he wasn’t able to tell the difference between both choices and which one would be better. “Reggie?” Miko grabbed his hand lightly, care appearing in her eyes as she and Reggie stared into each other. What would she say? After everything he had done would she be mad? Mad that everything went back to normal and that he was running away once more.

    He just couldn’t decide, and the more time passed the more things became difficult.

    To Be Continued…

    End of Chapter 18
    Next Time: Declaration of War

  11. #221
    J'ai Envie De Toi AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    As promised.

    Chapter 12: Good battles, if a little rushed (although I'm just a slow-moving person). I know as well as anyone else how difficult it is to write battles that have that many participants. The combination of Genesect and Victini is certainly formidable. Victini is a particularly unique Pokemon, and I like how you're making use of it. Schwarz's remark is starting to set off my sketchiness-radar regarding Freed's past.

    Chapter 13: WHY?!?! WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?! Here I am quietly assured of my hatred of Kevin and all that he represents, and you had to go and give him my favorite Pokemon. The fact that I am angry is proof of the fact that you have successfully emotionally involved me in the story. Well done, sir. Things are looking dark this chapter, but undoubtedly Reggie and co. will save the day. I like the fact that you have a chaotic character that's willing to mess things up for everyone, those are always fun.

    Chapter 14: Annnnd my sketch-dar has a confirmed reading. Memento Mori? Remember your mortality? The Sinister Icy Black Hand of Death Club*? Sounds... ominous. It's good to see Reggie exhibiting some sort of backbone for a bit, even if it almost killed him. The fusion was pretty cool, I look forward to seeing that idea expanded on more in the future. Thomas is sure hamming it up, be interesting to see who he is. I don't think Reggie's going to be standing up for himself anytime soon. Angst ahoy!

    Chapter 15: It's always nice to see a good character get some well deserved poon. The fact that Fin's worried about Reggie even as Skyla is attempting to take his pants off just shows that he's a good friend. How heartwarming. Yay JackxMarie, bonus points for suspicions against Kevin. I'm not a big fan of Thomas' dashing yet derisive personality, but it makes for a good character. Well done on Reggie's angst, I think you may be starting to dispel those comments that Reggie is a shallow character.

    Chapter 16: Not much more to see here, just more of that episodic stuff. I like it: good character development for Claudia. My only question is this, where in the Nine Hells did she get a grappling hook?**

    Chapter 17: Enter the anti-heroes. Or maybe they will develop into full-fledged villains, who knows? Darren and Reggie's angst-off was eye opening. Hopefully it was for Reggie too, but I don't see this new found depression disappearing anytime soon. Again, good job on the emotion. Anyway, I'm already beginning to see the (quite obvious) seeds of corruption in these "Enforcers."

    Chapter 18: You know what Reggie needs? He needs A.D. to show up again just long enough to punch him hard in the face, a la Kamina and Simon.*** Seriously, that kid's beginning to frustrate me. The Enforcers appear to be stereotypes and pricks. That was expected, but hopefully the stereotypical mother hen (Alexa) will keep them somewhat in line.

    Overall:
    PLOT-Finally we see some development here, although I honestly have no idea where you're going at this point. So many loose ends, but which ones actually will end up tied together? My interest is piqued, though, and it can no longer be argued that this fic has no overarching storyline.

    CHARACTERS-This has always been your strong point, and it's finally starting to show through with Reggie. If anyone has doubts as to how much he deserves those awards, you have given them something to think about. The emotion and angst hidden within the dialogue is quite strong, and I'm impressed. I look forward to when he finally makes his turn around and proves that he really is a hero. Your minor characters are also fairly well developed, although you again encounter the difficulty of having TONS of them. I see you have gotten around this by writing entire chapters without a Reggie in sight, to great effect.

    WRITING-Your grammar and punctuation has improved greatly, and the myriad mistakes I used to find no longer exist. When the few mistakes that you have do show up, however they are quite jarring. I am sure your beta-reader works hard, but when they let through things that make certain lines difficult to understand, something is wrong. I may start pointing these out in future chapters (hopefully I won't have to). Your description and dialogue are quite good, although the latter is hit and miss. You manage to include enough quirky humor to keep things lighthearted, but still portray an aura of darkness as things get worse for your characters. The back and forth between characters like Fin and Skyla or Valeria and Claudia amused me greatly.

    * I don't think this is the first time I've referenced Calvin & Hobbes in a review of your fic
    ** The fact that I typed "Nine Hells" without even thinking probably shows me that I've been playing too much DnD and reading too many Forgotten Realms books
    *** Or Simon and Rossiu, I guess. If you want to get that in depth...

    DON'T JUDGE ME BECAUSE I LIKE FOOTNOTES! I JUST SPENT ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF WATCHING ANIMAL CROSSING: THE MOVIE. IT'S TWO-THIRTY IN THE MORNING AND I AM WIRED!

    Unpredictable - Fan Fic
    * * * * *
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  12. #222
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Haha, I hate Tyson. So yes, I think Reggie should kick some ass - I don't care if Chigon has to get ten new evolutions, I want Tyson to suffer miserably.

    Anyway, I found it interesting that The Enforcers were supposed to be the ones to protect the school last year but instead Reggie and his friends were chosen, I can understand why they'd feel some spite towards them. As for the members of the group, well I find all of them unique and easy to remember actually - especially the French guy, seeing how he's an artist - I'd like to see him with a Smeargle, I think it would fit him a lot and I'd really like to see his battle style.

    Other than that, nothing much happened in this chapter.

    Overall, this was a nice, solid chapter which served its introduction to The Enforcers very well. While it was lackluster in terms of action, I expect the next chapter to be much more exciting regarding the title 'Declaration of War'. I hope it is exciting! ^^

    Keep it up, man! :D

  13. #223
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    AetherX; Well that was a long review xD I liked it. I like the foot notes. As for AD returning, well I don't know about that but there'll definetily be someone that'll snap Reggie out. Though it's probably someone that'll surprise you, the hint is that every single character that has appeared could end up being the one snapping him out, you'll just have to see.

    Yes Fin is awesome xD until his blood pressure goes downwards too much at least.

    Tsutarja; Ten? that's too much xD honestly, I'm trying to balance the five I just have now considering Chigon's only evolved twice so far and one of them was a new one.

    They weren't the ones to protect it, more like they were more quallified. You see after I reread the fic I noticed that...the third and second years didn't do anything, everyone in the group was a first year; so I felt like I had left the upperclassmen behind, that's when I thought of the Enforcers and decided to make them the best of the best of the best.

    Each of the Enforcers is an ass in their own way xD Angelo's a pretentious artist, Tyson's an overconfident violent prick, Keith is a serious and condescending douche, Alexa is a strict and no fun type of girl and the fifth member...that's a story for another day xD all I can say is that it's a guy. Also, Angelo's not french, he just pretends to be because he thinks it goes with what an artist does.

    Well, I have to say that there's a lot of meaning to the phrase declaration of war, you might be surprised.


    Also on an unrelated note, the green dorm is officially called Roselia Leaf now...I've changed it names multiple times but this time I'll stick with it.

  14. #224
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Nice job, like I told you before, the Enforcers are a great plot device, and this arc that'll be coming up is going to be good. I liked that the character of Kieth, he may seem all polite and formal, but he's just as bad as any villain. When you come around to doing that arc, trying to be as creative as you can (within reason, of course.) would be my suggestion.

    Anyway, I loved the chapter, so keep at it.

  15. #225
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I'm glad you like it :) I did meant for Keith to be like that though xD

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