Thread: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

i re-read the chapters and i do have to say you have a really nice plot going on.

i don't know, though. reggie is REALLY hard to relate to. i just don't feel a connection with him at all. to me he's the typical cliched pokemon main character. what with having a powerful pokemon at his side, and always narrowly escaping death/losing. yes, he has lost in other duels but i don't know... it's just something about him that i don't like.

it doesn't mean that i hate all your characters though. i really like the villains you chose. i think their name is really cool and they have a very mysterious demeanor around them. i'm wondering if they are somehow related to n and ghetsis. maybe the green haired man at the end was either ghetsis/n, or maybe their relative? it's interesting enough.

also, i love the way you do your battles. it's very action-packed and keeps the story rolling. i feel like when you go back to the academy stuff, it gets really boring. this story was just made to be full of action, i guess.

there were also some typo's here and there. be careful when you write and always make sure to proofread before posting your chapter. i noticed that you lack exclamation points in some sentences, and i think i saw a missing question mark or two in the last few chapters.

another thing i noticed was the fact that you used "deadpanned" a lot all throughout the story. it's a great vocabulary choice, i'm not going to lie, but i would prefer to not use distinctive and interesting ones so much because it gets annoying and you just see it over and over again.

anyway, that's my review so far. i'll try to keep up with newer additions to the story and review those chapters as well.

Actually Reggie has lost in ever battle so far xD it makes me laugh really cause I haven't actually let him win. The tag battle at the start he lost it due to a miscalculation, the fight against Schwarz was inconclusive and he had his ass handed to him in the last two chapters. We'll have to see how he fares out against the Black Knights xD

Don't bring N please xD originally I was planning on maybe having him appear but it would ruin the flow of things so I'm thinking about what to do on that side for now I'll just say that the fight against the Black Knights will have two more chapters.

Yeah but it's called Pokemon Academy, so I can't really leave the academy behind.

Yeah I do use deadpanned a lot don't I. I guess it's just because...well I can't find any other word that describes it so well characters like Reggie and Darren use that kind of uninterested expression a lot when referring to others, mostly Fin or in Darren's case...everybody...the guy's really emo now that I think about it.

have you tried using a thesaurus? maybe another word that means the same thing will sound good for their characters. either that, or use a word after said that would match with their bored or uninterested expression.

ex: "blah blah blah" he said, uninterested.

or something that matches uninterested.

I'll try that.

Nice chapter. Genesect and Victini getting involved in nice, since Victini is a really creative Legendary and Genesect is a Pokemon that was changed and messed with by Team Plasma due to selfish human needs, and it's backstory is compelling. I can't wait to see what's next.

Yeah, Reggie does seem a tad generic. But, you've done a good job of making him feel like a nice interesting character.

The thing I like the most about your writing would probably have to be your immense attention to detail. From character description to the setting. I get a clear vision in my mind of what the Academy looks like and how your characters are acting, which is precisely what every writer should try to dedicate some time to.

I never really read much of Pokemon Academy Year One. Only when I was voting for awards would I read the latest installment and I have to say, it was a mistake. You've turned an idea which could easily fail and become something quite boring and Mary Sue-ish to a really interesting world. You have a diverse batch of characters and a story that is unique.

If anything to improve, I'd say it would be the dialogue. Sometimes it feels a little forced and unrealistic, but other times it's quite good. Consistency would be nice.

Keep writing. Seriously. Write.

Wow, I really don't know what to say. I mean I'm glad that you like the detail, I can understand that it might get boring at times but I actually take a lot of consideration into trying to describe it completely.

Well I don't know if it would've been a boring set up xD I guess it just depends on what you're willing to give to it. My story is by no means unique but I do try to put my two cents in to try and make it mine.

Yeah I certainly need to work on the dialogue, I can't seem to get it completely right for some reason.

Also what did you mean by that last sentence? xD

EDIT:

@AetherX ; @Instrutilus ; @Chaosj2 ; @Cosmos ; @BlueNostalgia ; @Lugion ; @Thundagere ; @starbrow; @Rob Anybody ; @IVI ; @Karpi;@Tsutarja ; @Octy ; @Gotpika; @Lady Lucifer


Chapter 13: Victoria Inalcanzable Parte 2

Tears ran down Reggie’s face at the sight of the destroyed Liberty Garden and his defeated friends, who were now lying on the ground in front of him. “Everyone…what?” Reggie turned towards the large machine-like Pokémon known as Genesect, as well as the man who was now standing in front of the Black Knights.

“Your friends got in the way of our noble goal, and as such, I had to use my powers on them to…teach them a lesson, I suppose,” the man nodded his head softly before turning to the defeated Victini. “Now that I’ve obtained the Pokémon of victory, Victini, everything is in place.”

“What do you want!? Why would…why would you cause all this destruction!” Reggie roared, slamming his foot forward before he glared at the Black Knights. He then knelt down so as to grab Skyla, who was now lying on the floor next to him.

“This stubborn Gym Leader has been known for being one of Liberty Garden’s common visitors. You might say I took a gamble, but I just couldn’t pass up the chance of obtaining Victini, no matter how small it was.”

“As for what I strive to accomplish, I think that should be pretty obvious.” The man raised his arm into the air before dropping it back down and pointing towards the shining city of Castelia. “The destruction of Castelia City— a city that just reflects on how much humanity has stolen and tampered on the Pokémon’s land.”

“So you’re willing to kill innocent people just to accomplish your goals! You’re just being hypocritical!” Reggie yelled in rage.

“Well, sadly you can’t accomplish anything without being hypocritical, now can you? That’s where Team Plasma failed in comparison; they weren’t willing to really step up,” the man held both of his arms outward. “If it means protecting and saving the Pokémon’s habitat, then I’m willing to end as many human lives as possible.”

“Heartless…” Reggie gritted his teeth.

“Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t hurt all of your friends,” the man shook his head before turning toward a large boulder that stood at the edge of the island. “Whoever is hiding behind the boulder, I suggest you get out if you know what’s good for you.”


Reggie turned to the boulder. Allison walked out slowly; a seemingly frightened look on her face as she tried to get over to Reggie without stumbling. “Allison…” Reggie muttered.

“We will now take our leave. After all, the night is young and we should start on our plans as soon as possible,” the man turned to look at the rest of the agents. “I recommend you and your friends get away from Castelia as quickly as possible, tonight will be a rowdy night.”

And with that they vanished, leaving Reggie and Allison on their own before they ran towards the others to check on their well being. “What should we do now?” Allison wondered with a concerned expression on her face.

“We should go get Stacy and Miko and carry them back to the boat. We have to take care of their wounds, after all,” Reggie instructed before he grabbed Fin’s body and put him in a fireman’s carry.

“All right,” Allison nodded her head in agreement.

***


“They really grabbed us by surprise there,” Freed groaned while Allison finished wrapping some bandages around his chest. The group had gotten back to the boat to give Freed, Jack, and Fin first aid; while Fin and Freed had woken up, Jack was still unconscious. “I didn’t think they could actually capture Victini.”

“What surprises me is this Genesect thing. I never heard of it before,” Miko shook her head before looking at Stacy.

“What?” Stacy raised an eyebrow.

“You’re the biology teacher, you should know about Pokémon species, shouldn’t you?” Miko wondered. Stacy sighed at her comment before rubbing the back of her head.

“That’s true, but it doesn’t mean I know everything. I’ve never heard of it either.”

“I heard a little bit about it, though I wasn’t sure about its name.” Freed spoke up, making the rest of the group turn to him as he tried to stand up. “There were some rumors that Team Plasma was working on a new Pokémon, one that they could combine the aspects of science along with the natural power of Pokémon. However, Team Plasma was soon defeated, and work on the Pokémon stopped, though no one was able to find even a trace of it,” Freed explained, his tone sounding serious and worried at the same time.

“So how are we supposed to beat something like that, then?” Stacy wondered with what seemed to be an insecure expression. Not only did they had to defeat a legendary but they were also being pinned down by Victini’s ability. The fact that they were all injured didn’t help to make matters any better.

“You…you have to save him…” Fin opened his eyes wide before turning towards the sleeping Skyla, who was struggling to speak and was holding her hand close to her gut.

“Wait Skyla, you can’t move around too much.” Fin ran over to Skyla, leaning closer to her so that he could help her sit up. “What do you mean, save him?”

“Victini…” Skyla coughed lightly, putting her hand on Fin’s shoulder to balance. “Victini has been living in Liberty Garden in secret for so many years. He was trying to get away from humanity.”

“Why would he want to do that? I mean I know legendaries usually go around on their own, but why would he want to get away? And if so, then why stay at a place that is visited by tourists so frequently?” Miko inquired, her face turning much more puzzled.

“He stayed in Liberty Garden so that he could explore humans from a safe distant. Victini wanted to get away because of its ability and the greed of humans that wanted to catch him, just to control it.” At this point Skyla began coughing once more. However, as if on cue, a loud explosion ran out in the air which proceeded to be followed by a cloud of smoke. “They started…” she panted.

“There’s no other choice now is there?” Reggie wondered, his hands putting all of the weight his body had onto his knees.

“Chigon chichi gonchi!” Chigon exclaimed, making Reggie raise his head so that he could look at him and Monferno; who was still trying to make itself look tough by not paying attention to its injuries. The two Pokémon seemed determined for a rematch against the knights, especially Monferno, who wasn’t exactly keen on accepting a loss.

“Well, I guess if they want to keep fighting then I might as well agree,” Allison smirked proudly before standing up. Fin and Miko looked at each other for a moment. It could turn out to be a really tough battle if they weren’t prepared, plus they had to deal with two legendary Pokémon. However, they quickly stood up from their seats and smiled at Allison.

“So that leaves you two…” Freed turned to Stacy and Reggie, the two of them looked at each other hesitantly before nodding slightly and standing up.

“Well, I can’t say no now, can I? You all will just rope me again,” Stacy laughed before she looked at the others. “I still think this is a bad idea, but I just can’t let you guys get hurt. I was put in charge after all.”

Reggie didn’t say anything; in fact, he didn’t want to say anything, period. He didn’t want to fight in a battle like this again, especially after what happened the year before. However, as he thought of this, his mind ended up remembering one crucial sentence.

This is just the beginning.

Reggie shuddered as he thought of these words and turned away from the others.

***


“All right everyone I want you to form a single line and move quietly!” a policeman ordered as he tried to get the running crowd to enter a calmer stage. Smoke was rising from the center of the city and flames could be seen rising as well. “I repeat, please form a sin…” He was promptly shoved onto the floor, groaning as he struck the ground.

“This is not good,” Marie bit her nail in frustration. She was looking over the rest of the city from the roof of the hotel, with Claudia, Valerie, and Kevin standing alongside her. “I didn’t think the Black Knights would succeed.” She looked down at the floor. A shadow crossed her eyes as she pondered her friends’ fates. If they had been killed…no, she couldn’t think about that just yet.

“I already arranged for some helicopters, that way we can get away from here without having to go into that crowd of selfish beasts,” Kevin stated with a slight frown on his face as he pocketed the phone. He wasn’t exactly happy with being caught up in the same matter as the others, but there wasn’t much he could do now that things had turned out like this. “We should forget about the others and get going.”


“You’re not seriously telling us to just leave them, are you!” Valerie shot a deadly glare at Kevin her eyes showing just how serious and hurt she was after hearing Kevin’s sentence.

“Hey, they’re either dead or injured, and frankly, even if they’re alive, I don’t think they’ll come here. That’d just be suicide,” Kevin fixed his neck and began walking towards the door that led to the roof. “If I were you I’ll stop holding on to those childish ideas and follow me, unless you want to die, that is.”

Claudia stared at the floor, not really knowing what to say in this situation. She was scared, that was for sure. If even Reggie and the others had been defeated by the Black Knights, what good could there be in facing off against them? Fear crept through her body as she realized that the possibility of dying was no longer an abstract one.

“You can go if you want, Claudia, we wouldn’t mind. You too, Valerie.” Valerie turned to Marie; shooting her a shocked expression. “Neither of you have Pokémon that you can battle with, it’ll just be suicide if you stay here and fought.”

“I’m not useless. I just…” Valerie muttered.

However, before they could say more a loud smash was heard from down below, causing Marie to run over so that she could look at what was going on the floor. She gasped at the sight of a Throh and a Swak who were knocking down cars and throwing people aside as if they were as weightless as feathers. Marie scanned the area for the Pokémon’s trainer, only to find a pair of Black Knight agents giving the commands to the two Pokémon. They were a distinctive pair of twins, both female.

“I’m going to have to go now,” Marie turned back to Valerie before smiling. “Just make sure that everyone is safe, all right?” she turned around before jumping and grabbing hold of the fence. After this, she threw her body forward, jumping gracefully below with her Pokéballs ready.

Her face stood calm as if her body had gone into a state of complete silence and unmoving will. Swiftly, she released her Magnezone, who caught her with plenty of room to spare.

Cassandra and Sandra turned around to look at the landing Marie; smirk scrossing their faces while the two fighting styles regrouped with their trainers. “Seems like we’ve got a girl here. Don’t try to be a hero, sweetie you’ll just get hurt,” Cassandra snickered.

“Someone’s definitely going to get hurt.” Marie jumped down from Magnezone’s back. She then took out a second pokeball from her belt and released her Roserade. “But that isn’t going to be me.”

“Why do people underestimate our combination so much, sis?” Sandra wondered dryly. “First it was those two boys and now this measly girl thinks she can beat us too.”

Marie’s eyes perked up a little at the mention of the two boys. It was great to know that at least the group had given their all in trying to stop the Black Knights.

“Well now that you’ve said that I know that I definitely can’t let you win,” Marie smiled to herself. “Roserade, use Petal Dance!”

Roserade put both of its arms together and proceeded to move them back, causing flower petals to flutter around and fly into the air. The petals began dancing around Marie and her Pokémon before they were fired at the two fighting types.

“Sawk, use Protect!” Sandra commanded. The blue humanoid Pokémon roared as a protective sphere formed around it, blocking the petals that threatened to slam into it.

“Throh, you go and hit them with Superpower!” Cassandra’s Throh started charging towards Marie’s two Pokémon its arms bulging and becoming huge as well as its body which started to gain more muscle. Throh jumped up into the air and threw its right arm forward.

“Magnezone, use Zap Cannon!” Magnezone floated in front of the fighting type allowing the punch to strike its metallic body. It immediately counterattacked with a powerful orb of electricity, which smashed into Throh.

“Now that he’s close…”

“Sawk use Close Combat!” Cassandra didn’t miss a beat of the battle and Sawk immediately ran to help its battling partner. The thinner fighting type jumped on top of Throh’s shoulder before it slammed a barrage of punches and kicks on Magnezone’s body. Roserade charged at the two from behind before it fired a green colored sphere of energy at them.

However, Throh, who was still under the effect of Superpower turned around and smacked its fist against the sphere firing a powerful wave of energy that slammed onto Roserade and caused it to fly back. “It’s over,” Cassandra smirked.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Marie smiled. Suddenly, the petals that were on the floor began to glow in a bright rainbow color. The petals floated onto the air and began to fly at the two fighting types, cutting and slamming against them before they eventually blew up around them. “Magnezone use Magnet Rise!”

Magnezone raised both of its magnets before two yellow beams were fired from them. The beams proceeded to connect with Throh and Sawk, before they were both thrown up in the air. “Now time for the finishing move. Satellite Beam!”

“What the hell is that?” Sandra asked. Unfortunately, her question was answered almost instantly as a bolt of electricity fell down from the sky and crashed onto Magnezone’s antenna; it didn’t stay there for very long, though and was subsequently fired as a powerful blast of energy from Magnezone’s middle eye. The beam collided with the two Fighting types and knocked them out, once and for all.

“Now that that’s taken care of,” Marie grinned sheepishly at the two retreating agents. “I think you owe me some answers.”

Suddenly a smirk crossed Sandra’s face, it was a smile that reflected her confidence. Once Marie noticed this she turned around only for him to be sent flying back by a powerful sound wave.

Marie felt her body becoming weightless as a searing pain slammed into her body, especially when she hit the rock-hard ground. Marie rolled around and proceeded to cough up blood as she leaned against the floor. “You girls really suck for people that flaunt so much about their combination,” Salen muttered dryly before giving his Exploud room to move in.

Salen grabbed a hold of Marie’s head and yanked her to her feet by her hair, causing her to wince as she tasted the blood that was now running down her mouth. “This is what you get for thinking you could beat us,” both Cassandra and Sandra smiled to themselves before pushing Marie away from Salen’s grip; leaving her defenseless on the floor. The twins began to kick Marie’s body as if it was a lump of meat, not caring where they hit as long as they could vent their anger.

Marie coughed up. The pain was becoming unbearable and she couldn’t do anything but watch as people ran around them to try and get away. She just wanted to be of help and just when she thought she had finally done something to help the others out everything came crashing down. She could feel her body being lifted to the ground before being thrown back down.

“Jack….” She muttered as blood ran down her face, almost lapsing into unconsciousness with each successive kick.

“You know it is not right to beat up a fine lady such as her, right?” Salen and the twins turned around to face the building Marie had dropped down from. Standing in front of the entrance was Kevin, his hands inside of his jeans pockets and his face adorned with a smirk. “I don’t usually get my hands dirty, but Miko wouldn’t forgive me if I let one of her friends get beat up,” he smirked slyly before taking out an Ultra Ball from his pocket. “Break free and destroy them, Don!” Kevin yelled as he released his Dragonite onto the air; which proceeded to let out a powerful roar.

***


“Hey Cliff, why do we have to be the ones to guard you?” Schwarz asked dryly while he and Clarice followed the green-haired man known as Cliff; who in turn was following the route that his Genesect was taking, smiling with every blast that the legendary fired.

“Simple. I need someone to cover my back. Genesect is strong but he still lacks the reaction time and loyalty that subordinates like you two do,” Cliff stated with a slight snicker. He knew that Schwarz was bothered by Genesect’s incredible power, and that gave him a feeling of satisfaction. “Now that we have Genesect, there’ll be no one to oppose our plans.”

“It isn’t just Genesect,” Clarice smiled darkly before she looked down at the now caged Victini; it seemed to still be too weak to move about much. “With this little guy you’ve got everything secured,” she smirked.

“We wouldn’t think so.” The three Black Knights raised their gaze towards the night sky, only to see Reggie, Stacy, Freed and Allison descending while riding their respective flying type.

Freed’s Jellicent was the first one to make a landing before it was closely followed by Stacy and her Togekiss. After them came Allison and her Skarmory, with Reggie and Pidgeot finally touching down.

“You’ve played enough now it’s time for you to give it up,” Freed commented his face showing how serious he had become in the last few minutes. Cliff snickered before he gave a forced laugh.

“I guess I should’ve expected you to come follow us,” he stated. “Schwarz, Clarice, take care of these four. I have some other business to attend to,” Cliff turned around and walked towards Clarice so that he could grab the cage.

However, once he went on to grab the handle he felt Clarice’s hand withdraw; an act that made him glare at her. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry but this is just too fun,” Clarice displayed a smile of ecstasy as she moved back from her boss. “You’ve got Genesect and Victini, it just wouldn’t be a fair game, now would it? So…” She slowly opened the cage. Cliff’s face displayed pure horror as he charged Clarice, hoping to stop her in time.

He was too late though, because as soon as Victini saw its chance it instantly flew out from the cage and slammed against Cliff; throwing him back and making him crash against the floor. “What’s going on here?” Reggie asked as he looked at the events taking place in front of him.

End of Chapter 13
Next Time: Victoria Alcanzable (reachable victory)

Well, it was a short chapter, to be honest. I loved the scene of Marie confronting the twins and the line "Somebody's definitely going to get hurt." I simply love badass chicks, especially dangerous ones. Though you left me confused at the very end. Why would Clarice release Victini again?

Originally Posted by Mr. Smugleaf

Well, it was a short chapter, to be honest. I loved the scene of Marie confronting the twins and the line "Somebody's definitely going to get hurt." I simply love badass chicks, especially dangerous ones. Though you left me confused at the very end. Why would Clarice release Victini again?

Mischief. Clarice is someone that lets her curiosity and interest get in the way of convenience or logic. She thought it'll be interesting to have Victini and Genesect fight against each other and since she knew that Victini would go to Reggie's side if she released it then her wish would come true. That and she basically just wanted to see Genesect for real, once that was done she had no more use for the Black Knights or Cliff. That's the same reason she didn't catch Chigon on the previous chapter, because she was curious about what Reggie and Chigon would do against Cliff.

Sounds like Clarice will become a troublesome villain in the future. The fact she has no trouble betraying the Black Knights makes her unpredictable and also dangerous. Anyway, I enjoyed reading the chapter and can't wait to see what will happen in the next one.

On a side note, I happened to listen to the japanese song on Youtube, Dark Knight ~Fujimi no Ousha~ (DARK KNIGHT ~The Invincible Champion~) by Takayoshi Tanimoto. When I out of curiosity read the lyrics after finding through google, I found out it actually fits the Black Knights (at least in my opinion).

Quite the action-packed chapter. Nice job. Kevin is a prick though, then again, that would be expected. He was never one of the group, y'know? My favorite would have to be when Marie joined the fray, too bad she got beaten.

All around, I haven't noticed any grammar mistakes or problems. Good luck and keep at it.

Nice chapter, at bit short but still.
This just makes me want to see what happens next.

Please get the next one up.

Originally Posted by Starbrow

Quite the action-packed chapter. Nice job. Kevin is a prick though, then again, that would be expected. He was never one of the group, y'know? My favorite would have to be when Marie joined the fray, too bad she got beaten.

All around, I haven't noticed any grammar mistakes or problems. Good luck and keep at it.

Yeah it seemed a lot of people liked that scene xD I do admit that I purposely wanted the part with Marie entering the fight to be the leading aspect of the chapter since Marie's only been seen in the background as a sweet girl most people don't know that she's really feisty in a battle xD

And thanks for the grammar thing I have to admit I couldn't have done it without the help of my beta reader as well though.

As for IVI well the chapter is already finished (actually all the chapters up to chapter 19 are already finished) it's being beta read right now.

This was another amazing chapter with awesome action scenes. At the end though, I was confused for two reasons. One of them was Clarice, which you already explained, but now, where's Finn? Didn't he heal yet? Or am I just not reading it right? I would think he'd be at the lead considering his whole, Rwar, you hurt Skyla!!!! thing

Originally Posted by Chaosj2

This was another amazing chapter with awesome action scenes. At the end though, I was confused for two reasons. One of them was Clarice, which you already explained, but now, where's Finn? Didn't he heal yet? Or am I just not reading it right? I would think he'd be at the lead considering his whole, Rwar, you hurt Skyla!!!! thing

Fin isn't completely healed but taking that out of the way he has already obtained Skyla, and as thus just wants to make sure to keep her safe even if it means taking a seat during the final assault.