TEEN: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody - Page 10

Page 10 of 27 FirstFirst ... 8910111220 ... LastLast
Results 136 to 150 of 391
Like Tree15Likes

Thread: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

  1. #136
    I need beer money dammit! Rob Anybody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Skyridge Bar
    Posts
    323

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    That Pic: Awwww! The Jack and Marie angle: Awww! (Damn! Now I sound girly!)
    Last edited by Rob Anybody; 18th February 2012 at 01:37 AM.
    I don't calculate stat values, and I don't care about natures. I catch my Pokemon the way they are. I just play the game normally. If you agree copy & paste this in your sig.

    ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY HYPNOTOAD!


    Garrus Vakarian Facts


    My Fic: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc Help a struggling writer! Read and review! Constructive criticism is much appreciated!

  2. #137
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,643
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Well I'm glad someone commented on the pic xD instrutilus worked hard on it too.

  3. #138
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Does it matter?
    Posts
    465
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Hey Stellar Haze, this is the review I promised. Here are the scores I set in for the judging along with the summary I wrote in the judging process. Each element of the story was explained to give a reason why that score was given.

    Plot: 7/10

    There was no real plot, as in an overall grand scheme of things for the story. The plot so far was simply episodic, consisting of a number of stand-alone chapters introducing characters and their relationships and some mini arcs. While the episodic chapters were entertaining enough, they simply did not compare to the other, more eventful plots.

    Characterization: 7/10

    The characters were okay. They were diverse, but all of them lacking any real depth or originality. Most them leaned towards the stereotypical and taking stereotypical roles in the group. The Main character, the pervert, the leading girl, the rival, the sexy teacher…etc. The character interaction was pretty good, but did not make up for the lackluster characterization in general.

    Setting: 8/10

    The setting you created was better than the other elements of your story. You did a good job making that little miniature world of the academy and having the locations spread out; the dorms, the island itself, other locations like the stadium. An overall good enough setting.

    Technical: 7/10

    You have improved. Your grammar and spelling mistakes are decreasing; your writing style is easing up and becoming smoother and easier to read. Basically you’re becoming more and more like a seasoned writer. However, your dialogue is still quite clunky; the characters occasionally speak in a way that doesn’t make sense which ruins the overall flow of the story and typos still appear. And though the writing has eased up, others have already nailed it.

    Overall Score: 79/100

    Summary: This is a big improvement from the original story and Stellar Haze has displayed quite a growth from his last writings. There is no real plot so far, mainly consisting of episodic chapters and mini arcs, but they remain entertaining enough to make up for the lack of plot. The characters are a bit stereotype. His grammar and writing style have seen improvements, though. However the story, just like the original, seems more like a Shonen Anime than anything, making it hard to envision it as a novel.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Reggie Damon:

    Depth: 7/10

    Reggie has gone through an entire story, which gives a sort of depth that not many other characters can rival. However, throughout the story, Reggie hasn’t displayed enough of that depth for it to be noticeable. Furthermore, he doesn’t display the attitude nor acts in a way to make you feel that this character is different. He simply falls into the typical shonen main character genre.

    Contribution to the plot: 8/10

    Reggie Damon’s presence has decreased since the last time. In Dragon Roar, the whole plot revolved around Reggie, the characters existed to support Reggie, but this time around, there are whole chapters were Reggie doesn’t appear at all. Nevertheless, when Reggie does show up, it’s plainly obvious and really he contributes when he’s around.

    Entertainment Value: 7/10

    He’s entertaining enough. That’s how I would sum it up. Despite being lackluster overall, Reggie still manages to be fun when he appears in the story and doesn’t bore you. A character always needs to generate interest, and Reggie manages to make just enough.

    Originality: 7/10

    He’s isn’t that original, but has elements of originality. As a character, he’s very much bland and falls into the generic main character genre but still retains some originality that appears every once in a while, when reacting to a situation or event.

    Overall: 77/100

    Summary: As a character that went through an entire story, Reggie has gone through a little change, sadly, this didn’t make him any better as a main character. While some of his attitude has changed, he remains largely the same. He lacks any real depth of character and his appearances are become more infrequent. He does manage to remain entertaining enough to keep your interest, but a lack of originality among the other factors mentioned before doesn’t make him stand out.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Fin Wave:

    Depth: 7/10

    Fin doesn’t have that much depth. I read his history, and it says he ran away from the family to become his own trainer and such. But how does that history impact his personality overall? Not that much. Also, his role as the pervert doesn’t really show any depth.

    Contribution to the plot: 7/10

    Not so much. Even though Fin has been in nearly every chapter, you don’t really feel that he is a real driving force. This is beginning to change, but overall, Fin is one of the characters that can go unnoticed in the events of the story.

    Entertainment Value: 7/10

    For me, he was okay. I liked his dialogue every now and again and even though he was a stereotype pervert, it was okay because you portrayed the perverted nature good enough. But I have admit that I got bored by the constant tirade of perverseness sometimes, and his little “mood swings”.

    Originality: 7/10

    Not original. Like most of your characters, they are unoriginal, but have elements of originality. He’s a pervert. But you portrayed his role well and his occasional times when he’s a fun character make up for the unoriginal concept.

    Overall: 73/100

    Summary: A normal character that doesn’t really seem to stand out. He mainly takes the role of the pervert and doesn’t really have that much going for him. He is easily outclassed by other, better supporting characters.
    Last edited by Thabet; 18th February 2012 at 05:56 PM.

  4. #139
    sink. an illegible mess.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    florida, usa
    Posts
    1,163
    Blog Entries
    253
    Follow an illegible mess. On Twitter Add an illegible mess. on Facebook Add an illegible mess. on MySpace
    Follow an illegible mess. on Tumblr Visit an illegible mess.'s Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    well i read up to chapter two this time, and i have to say i'm quite intrigued. interesting twist with the stacy backstory in chapter one. though, in that scene i was a bit confused at one part when stacy was suddenly thrown back against the steel lockers. i was unsure who threw her against it. i thought it was chris but he walked towards her after it happened. did he like, push her with super strength or is she that light? xD. maybe something to clarify what happened there.

    as for the second chapter, i find matthew an interesting character. i can't wait to see what will happen in the third chapter which i will get to reading as soon as i'm done posting this little mini-review, haha.

    all in all, the story does have some harry potter elements to it with all the different "houses" i suppose and the castle setting. really nice idea.

    also, just be aware of your typo's. i counted a lot while i was reading the two chapters xD. it's not bad, but just make sure you go back before you post your story and correct your little typo's or else it gets confusing. (like you said something about sax and put "she" instead of "he" which made me confused as to what gender sax was LOL.)

    quite interesting, quite impressive... i expect a good rest of the story. can't wait for more.

  5. #140
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,643
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    @AetherX ; @Instrutilus ; @Chaosj2 ; @Cosmos ; @BlueNostalgia ; @Lugion ; @Thundagere ; @Jinoga ; @Rob Anybody ; @IVI ; @Karpi ;@Tsutarja ; @Octy ; @Gotpika @I'll try this out


    Here's chapter 11 sorry I actually had this chapter ready a few days ago but kept forgetting to post it. So this chapter introduces a new villain that'll probably be recurring anyways sorry if the chapter seems a little rush but it was turning out to be longer than I expected.

    Chapter 11: Lights, Camera, Action!

    Reggie blinked twice, a thin sliver of light from between the curtains flashing across the room. “What happened?” he groaned lightly before looking to his right. A bright blush went through his face as he saw Claudia sleeping over his right arm, her arms wrapped around his neck and her right leg intertwined with his. Luckily for Reggie, they both seemed to be dressed, though that wasn’t even the half of it.

    Reggie raised his head slightly before he was finally able to make out the people in the room. Everyone except for Allison was in the room, with each of them sleeping in different areas. Reggie sighed, noticing the various beer cans that were scattered in the room. “Not good,” he shook his head; turning to look at Claudia again. “She does look cute when she’s sleeping like this, though…”

    ***

    Reggie looked down at the watch that was wrapped around his left wrist; it was around eleven in the morning but the streets of Castelia were already filled to the brim with people. “They sure take a long time,” Reggie yawned. “Boy, that was a messed up night.”

    “What happened?” Stacy asked. She was standing next to Reggie since she had been asked by Freed to watch over the group while they were out. “You look really tired…did you get wasted or something?” she giggled jokingly.

    “Yes, actually,” Reggie nodded his head, causing Stacy to start in surprise; mostly because Reggie didn’t seem like the type of guy that would usually do something like that. “The others and I gathered in my room last night and Fin brought some beers, he snuck them by having his Garchomp bring a pack through the roofs, don’t ask me how he got them,” Reggie explained before rubbing his forehead. “Anyhow, I don’t usually drink but Fin wouldn’t stop bugging me… so yeah.”

    “Oh well, look at the bright side. At least you had a fun night,” Stacy patted his back, she knew scolding him or anything wasn’t necessary. Sure, they shouldn’t have but it wasn’t like no one else had done it before. “But be careful, okay? I’m not going to tell any of the teachers, but you guys should really watch what you do or it could all end badly.”

    “Don’t worry, I won’t be doing it again,” Reggie groaned before rubbing his temples. As he did this the rest of the group walked out of the hotel, each of them looking just as confused and tired as Reggie.

    “Yo…” Fin greeted before chuckling nervously.

    “You don’t get to talk!” both Marie and Miko scolded, their faces donning fearsome looks as they turned towards Fin.

    “A little help here Jack…” Fin turned to look at Jack, who was leaning against the wall with his hand over his glasses and a somber look on his face. This actually made Fin retreat a little though, knowing that the lack of emotion wasn’t something he should take advantage of. “Hey, I didn’t know it would get out of control.”

    “Yeah, like you didn’t know…poor Claudia is traumatized,” Valerie scolded, patting a nervous Claudia’s back.

    Reggie couldn’t help but turn to Claudia, he still felt really embarrassed about what had happened, especially since neither of them even knew what had happened to begin with. She looked back at him before turning away towards the now opening doors.

    “Well, it looks like everyone’s here,” came Kevin’s cheerful voice as he made his way to the group. Reggie felt even more disinclined to like him due to the way he approached Miko in particular.. “I trust you all slept well.”

    “…you could say that,” Fin stuttered, only for him to move back when the rest of the group gave him a threatening glance. “I’m gonna shut up now.”

    Kevin just chuckled lightly before smiling. “You guys sure are a fun group.” As he said this a long limousine stopped in front of the entrance, prompting Kevin to turn towards it. “Looks like our ride is here. As you all know, we will be heading to Castelia Studios today, so you’ll be able to learn how most movies are done and what’s currently in store,” Kevin explained, talking as if he was doing an exposition.

    “Are we gonna get to meet any famous actors?” Stacy asked, leading the others towards the limo along with Kevin.

    “Well, that depends on if we’re lucky,” Kevin nodded his head in response. “Just remember to behave and don’t go off on your own.”

    Reggie frowned to himself, not only did he not like Kevin but he didn’t like how he tended to put his cool persona; sure, he didn’t know if he should judge Kevin solely on that but there was just something…else, that incited a slight amount of discomfort.

    “Hey, don’t let him get to you,” Fin whispered with a pat to Reggie’s shoulder. “Just enjoy the ride, okay?”

    “Sure.”

    ***

    The whole group stood agape as they raised their heads as far as they were able to. They were standing in the entrance of a large campus which seemed to stretch for about a kilometer. However, the area wasn’t the thing that had them mesmerized.

    There were two tall glass skyscrapers that seemed to stretch for miles into the sky. At the top of the two buildings were two large letters; with one on each building. The letter read “CS,” which obviously stood for Castelia Studios. Each building was connected by multiple transparent bridges situated in every floor, giving it a mesmerizing feel.

    “Welcome to my world!” Kevin announced with his arms opened wide before he walked towards the entrance. “We should get going so that the tour can begin; we have a lot to see, after all.”

    “Amazing. I can’t believe I’m actually here.” Miko walked towards Kevin; not willing to miss a single scrap of the building as she marbled on her chance of seeing the biggest film stations in the world.

    “Of course,” Kevin replied slyly, patting Miko’s shoulder gently before leaning closer. “I’m with you, after all; you’re even getting a special tour compared to what most people see,” he pointed out with his index finger raised and a wink. He then turned around to look at the others and proceeded to clap his hands together. “Now, it’s time to go, everyone.”

    “I’m gonna have a lot of fun with this,” Stacy grinned to herself.

    Reggie didn’t stop looking at the building though; much like everyone else he had dreamed of going to Castelia Studios one day. However, as he looked up at the roof he was able to spot what seemed to be a black spot moving around. “Huh?”

    “Chi?” Chigon asked curiously, realizing that its trainer seemed to be confused about something.

    “Ah…no, it’s nothing, buddy. We should go,” he nodded his head before he began following the others.

    ***

    “What do you mean you didn’t have a tour guide prepared?!? I specifically asked for one to give us a tour today!” Kevin complained. He was standing at the front desk and was having a heated discussion with the receptionist. The others, on the other hand, were still pretty perplexed at the sight of the room they were now in.

    “Figures.” Valerie muttered bitterly, before turning to take some pictures of the nearby decor.

    “I just hope everything works out alright,” Marie sighed to herself.

    “I’m sure Kevin will be able to fix everything up, guys, so don’t worry.” Miko encouraged. Reggie shifted towards her for a moment, did she really believe in Kevin so much already? Reggie sighed to himself before he turned to the elevator doors.

    One of the doors opened. A woman in a long black dress walked out, accompanied by a man long-sleeved shirt. The woman had long chestnut hair that reached down to her hips, along with a pair of green eyes. The man’s short, curly hair framed dark eyes.

    Reggie exchanged looks with the woman; who seemed to have become curious about Chigon since she was staring at his shoulder. Before he could turn around, though, the woman had already begun to make her way towards them; with her partner following close behind. “Excuse me, what kind of Pokémon is that?” she asked with curiosity clear in her eyes.

    “Hmm…this is it’s….”

    Kevin eyed the woman and the man carefully, noticing that the man’s shirt seemed to have a metallic name tag that read “Salen Scavitch, Writing Department.” A sparkle lit up in Kevin’s eyes before he put his arm around Reggie and smiled. “This little guy here is Chigon, and he’s a never before seen Pokémon species,” he explained with his index finger raised. “You see, my friend Reggie found this Pokémon in the Academy Archipelago and it has been proved to be a one of a kind.”

    “Oh, a one of a kind Pokémon!” the woman beamed; she seemed to be really excited about seeing Chigon.

    “Wait, you’re Kevin Samuels, aren’t you?” Salen asked while pointing at Kevin; who quickly nodded his headin return. “What are you guys doing here?”

    “Well, you see, we come from Elemental Academy and we’re on a field trip. I wanted to show my friends around the building but there seems to be a little trouble about our tour guide.” Kevin quickly shot a look towards the receptionist, who seemed to be really embarrassed about the subject coming up. “So apparently we’ll have to leave.” He pouted, so well that it even made Reggie think that he was serious.

    “Oh no, we can’t have that,” the woman quickly interrupted; falling right into Kevin’s hands. “We can give you a tour; we don’t have anything to do at the moment since we just finished our tasks for today,” she informed.

    “But weren’t we going to do something else, though…?” Salen interrupted, only for the woman to elbow him in the ribs.

    “Come on, Salen, we shouldn’t be so rude, especially since they’re so curious,” the woman beamed before turning to look at the group once more. “It’s nice to meet you. Everyone, my name is Clarice and this is my coworker Salen.” Salen waved at the group rather bitterly.

    “Wow, thank you so much for doing this.” Kevin bowed politely before proceeding to follow the two.

    “I can see why he’s such a good actor now.” Stacy crossed her arms before nodding her head in approval as she followed right behind them.

    “Man, that Clarice is hot,” Fin sighed in a love struck fashion, causing Reggie to wonder what had happened to his anger over Skyla’s kidnapping.

    “Why did we have to start dragging these kids along? You know that the boss told us to release those Pokémon that are being kept here,” Salen whispered towards Clarice, whispering as to prevent their conversation from being overheard.

    “Are you just going to let the chance of such a rare Pokémon pass by, though?” Clarice grinned maliciously before she pressed the elevator button. “If we manage to take that Pokémon, who knows what kind of secrets it might have? Trust me, I can tell he’s special.” Her expression changed to deep seriousness.

    ***

    Reggie and his friends were taken through a tour of the whole building, inspecting every single floor and room that they were able to. “This is actually turning out to be quite fun,” Valerie smiled before taking a picture of the sky as she looked out of the glass from one of the bridges.

    “See, I told you he’d come through for us.” Miko smiled before flashing a V for victory sign.

    “This is actually perfect for us,” Salen pointed out, looking around the hall with a slight grin on his face. “This is the floor where they keep all of the Pokémon they use for movies, so we can still do the mission we were tasked with.”

    “Hmm…where are the bathrooms?” Reggie asked, walking behind Clarice and causing her to jump in shock at his sudden appearance.

    “Oh, the bathrooms…” Clarie looked around before nodding her head and beginning to walk. “Come on Salen, we’ll take this guy to where the bathrooms are,” she stated with a mischievous grin that quickly proved her ulterior motive.

    “Oh, sure..”

    “Wait, can I go too?” Claudia asked before she caught up with the others. This, of course, elicited a small groan from Clarice. Now that they had Claudia with them as well, it would be harder to do things quietly.

    “It’s no problem at all,” Salen shook his head in return before quickly unclipping a Pokéball from his belt and dropping it into his pocket.

    “Hey Fin, don’t you feel something strange about those guy?” Miko whispered towards Fin; making sure that Salen and Clarice were already far enough so as to not hear them. “They just suddenly volunteered. I mean, it’s obvious that Clarice is curious about Chigon, but…”

    “Yeah, not a lot of good things come out when someone’s curious about Chigon,” Fin nodded his head before sighing. “Let’s just wait and see what happens. Either way, we’ll probably end up clearning things up,” he shrugged.

    ***

    Reggie and Claudia stared at Salen’s and Clarice’s back as they made their way through the multiple hallways of the 22nd floor. In his search for where they were going Reggie was able to notice that there seemed to be a decrease in people the more they moved.

    “Where are you taking us?” Reggie finally asked, causing Salen’s eyes to snap back. Chigon seemed to have become more paranoid at this point as well, since it was now clenching Reggie’s shoulder.

    “Oh, come on, you should trust us. We work here after all,” Clarice pointed out cheerfully.

    “Yeah, but we just passed three bathrooms while we walked,” Claudia suggested nervously. Reggie knew that she was probably scared of what might happen, especially since she had gotten even more nervous after the third time they had passed a bathroom without the two supposed workers batting an eyelid.

    “We did, huh…” Clarice turned around, staring outside the glass so that she could examine rest of the city. Salen suddenly snapped around, hurling the Pokéball he had concealed earlier towards the duo.

    “Move back!” Reggie exclaimed, pushing Claudia back with his arm before a Hitmontop erupted from the Pokeball and began to spin towards the two, dashing the pair to the floor.

    Reggie grabbed Chigon, deciding that they should try to warn someone. However, as soon as he had started running he noticed that Claudia wasn’t following. Once he turned around, he saw a scene from a horror film in front of him. Claudia had been grabbed by Salen who held a knife to her throat. Claudia’s expression was very near terrified. “Let her go!” Reggie screamed.

    “Sorry, but we can’t do that,” Clarice hissed with a deathly glare. She put her hand under Claudia’s chin before softly running it down her throat. “This little girl is our hostage, after all. Of course, we can hand her over if you give us something in return,” Clarice grinned mischievously; shifting towards Reggie.

    “You’re Black Knights, aren’t you?” Reggie gritted his teeth, trying hard not to do anything that might cause the Salen to push the knife into Claudia’s throat.

    “Oh, so you know about us?” Clarice pointed out curiously before she kept going. “That saves us a lot of trouble. You see, we originally came here to release the Pokémon from this building, but then I saw that little dragon with you and I just couldn’t help it,” she spoke with a more sultry tone before letting go of Claudia’s neck and pointing at Reggie. “So please, if you’re so kind as to hand the little guy over there, we can just go and forget this ever happened.”

    “Chi…” Chigon growled, only for Reggie to hold his left hand towards it so as to calm it down.

    “Go Chigon,” Reggie muttered, he was now staring at the floor in a defeated fashion. Chigon was awestruck; why was its training telling it to go with these strangers that could kill them at any given second? “I said go! I didn’t bring any Crystals anyway so we can’t fight them!” Chigon pouted, it didn’t really want to leave its trainer’s shoulders but it didn’t have any other choice.

    Chigon jumped off from Reggie’s right shoulder and started making its way towards Clarice. “Such a naïve child,” Salen chuckled to himself before raising his arm and preparing to thrust it down.

    “You think I didn’t see that,” Reggie growled, causing Salen to stop and stare at the sixteen year old’s fearsome eyes as he charged at them. “Give her back!” he screamed at the top of his lungs throwing a pokeball from his belt and releasing his Fraxure who slammed against the Hitmontop, and in turn pushed Salen onto the floor, giving Claudia a chance to run.

    “Wait, what!?” Clarice exclaimed, stepping back as she saw Reggie’s Fraxure glare at her.

    “You okay?” Reggie asked, helping Claudia up from the floor and checking to see if she was hurt. Her body didn’t have a scratch but he could tell that she had been really shocked after what had happened.

    “Get up Salen, we’re not done here,” Clarice raised the bottom of her dress slowly giving Reggie a look at her legs; something that in turn made him blush. Unfortunately, the blush didn’t last as he saw her pull a Pokéball out of her stockings and release it on the floor, sending out a large Scolipede.

    Fraxure assumed a fighting stance, however, the last thing that went through Reggie’s mind was fighting. It was true that it was his chance to get some answers from the Black Knights, but they couldn’t risk getting anyone hurt. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure if they could escape in time, or if security would be coming anytime soon.

    “Use Megahorn!” Clarice’s Scolipede raised its head before it began charging at Reggie and Claudia at top speed. Fraxure jumped in front of the two using a Dual Chop to block the horn strike. Before it was fully blocked though Scolipede raised its head and proceeded to throw Fraxure aside.

    “Fraxure get up!” Reggie screamed desperately, only for his chances of countering to become null when the Scolipede crashed against Fraxure with a powerful Steamroller attack, causing it scream in pain while the walls were demolished by the strike.

    “All right Monferno go help th…” Reggie grabbed a hold of Claudia; throwing her aside as to avoid the spinning Hitmontop who had just come short of hitting the two.

    “Okay, what’s going on here!?” the guards screamed as they entered the hall. The Hitmontop was too quick though and before they could do anything more they were taken down by its powerful kick.

    Fraxure struggled to get up, its body had been completely bruised by the falling wall and it seemed to be bleeding in various parts of its body. “How about we finish this thing quickly?” Clarice smiled before raising her left hand. “Scolipede, get rid of that annoying dragon Pokémon.”

    “Hitmontop attack those two trainers. I don’t care if you have to kill them; just get ahold of that rare Pokémon,” Salen commanded.

    Both Scolipede and Hitmontop did as ordered, attacking Reggie and Claudia as well as Fraxure. Fraxure gritted its teeth and let out a powerful roar and with that a stream of green flames. This, fortunately, took Scolipede by surprise and caused it to jump back to avoid the flames; giving Fraxure enough time to slash at its chest with its claws.

    Before Hitmontop’s kick landed against either of the frightened young ones Chigon jumped up and bit onto the Pokémon’s leg, causing it to take the hit full force. This wasn’t enough to throw him off, though, and Chigon was able to fire a Flamethrower at close range, sending waves of burning fire rippling across the Hitmontop’s body.

    “They’re still able to fight,” Claudia gasped in disbelief, though she was really glad that the two dragon Pokémon were still willing to protect the two.

    “All right guys try your best,” Reggie encouraged. Fraxure let out a powerful roar before crashing against Scolipede, pushing the bug back with its fangs and great strength.

    Scolipede and Hitmontop weren’t willing to let them win, though, and before Fraxure was able to fully charge in, Scolipede had already moved aside and delivered a powerful Venoshock, injecting its personal poison into the dragon powerful and causing it to withdraw. It didn’t give it any time to breath, crashing against Fraxure with another Steamroller; announcing an end to their long scuffle.

    “Fraxure!” Reggie screamed in disbelief; he wasn’t willing to let go of Claudia, though.

    A feeling of defeat and dread began to spread to his body as he saw Chigon’s defeated body fly pass the two and land on the floor next to Fraxure. It had been brutally beaten by the fighting type in such a short time as well, and it didn’t look like it would be getting up any time soon.

    “Claudia, I want you to run.”

    “But you can’t! I mean, you can’t stay here,” Claudia turned to Reggie, a look of disapproval in her eyes as she shook her head. “You have more Pokémon too.”

    “If I even try to go for the Pokéballs, they’ll attack,” Reggie muttered quietly; even in his voice it was obvious that he was starting to give up.

    “Hey, you two scumbags better get away from my students!” both Clarice and Salen looked towards the entrance of the hall, only for a large white blur to fly by and slam into Hitmontop sending it crashing through the glass, only to be saved by Salen’s quick return. Reggie and Claudia both raised their heads in surprise.

    Stacy and the others were standing at the entrance of the hall along with another group of guards who had already taken out their Pokéballs and weapons. “And that was a command,” she grinned, keeping her arms cross while her Togekiss made sure to guard both Reggie and Claudia. “Are you two okay?”

    “Yeah. Thanks, Ms. Lewis,” Claudia nodded her head.

    “Call me Stacy,” Stacy winked, seeing Clarice return her Scolipede. “What are you doing? Turning yourselves in?”

    “On contrary,” Clarice grinned to herself before throwing another Pokéball out, releasing her Mandibuzz. The Pokémon let out a loud squeak, allowing for Salen and Clarice to get on its back. She then looked at Reggie giving him the same sultry look as before. “I can tell you want to know more about the Black Knights from the way you fought before, so if you really want to know then I suggest you come to Liberty Park before sundown.”

    Reggie looked at her with inquiring eyes, but before he could ask anything else a large wind broke through the hole of the window, giving the two Black Knight agents enough time to fly off.

    To be Continued

    End of Chapter 11
    Next Time: Victoria Inalcansable (Unreachable Victory)
    Last edited by Flaze; 6th March 2012 at 04:55 PM.

  6. #141
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Does it matter?
    Posts
    465
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Nice chapter, the battle was pretty good. But you have alot of typos there and you need to check them.

  7. #142
    BAM Cosmos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Universe
    Posts
    424
    Blog Entries
    66

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    What stood out the most for me in this chapter was the drinking. (This isn't just my alcoholic side speaking)
    For me it made the characters more real. More like real teenagers.
    Because honestly I don't care what world your in a teenager is not going to sit there and focus there whole entirety on Pokémon and absolutely nothing else.
    I really like that you put that in there.

    The battle scene was really nice. Much better battle description then before.
    I like the whole Cluadia, Reggie thing you have going on.
    The possible romance again adds to the realism of the characters.

    Like Jinoga said there were a little more spelling and grammatical errors then usual
    but it's not too bad. Just be careful.

    I'm also liking the Black Knights organization.
    They seem to be an interesting adversary.

    All in all a good nicely written chapter.
    Looking forward to the next.
    Black FC: 1420 9561 6865
    Pearl FC:1506 8850 5973

  8. #143
    I love you BMGf friends Milo†icgirl McQüeen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Remember Mel B from Spice Girl
    Posts
    9,224
    Blog Entries
    336

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I got to agree with Cosmos a hundred percent. They are more relatable when you think...yeah we do that stuff.

    Now all you got to do is make thm stuff carrots up there.....nother time xD

  9. #144
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,643
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Well I'm glad you all liked the first scene xD I was originally going to do an special chapter that showed how the group got drunk and what they did in the first place but I didn't have time plus I don't think I would've been able to describe the dancing xD

    Anyways I'm glad the battle was liked too I felt like it was kind of rushed back when I was writing it.

  10. #145
    I need beer money dammit! Rob Anybody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Skyridge Bar
    Posts
    323

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmos View Post
    What stood out the most for me in this chapter was the drinking. (This isn't just my alcoholic side speaking)
    I'm Aussie and I agree with that! It shows that they are teenagers and will on occasion so something completely stupid (We all did). As for Fin, what will he do next? Tell Drayden His father is a better Trainer? (Would be worth watching!)
    I don't calculate stat values, and I don't care about natures. I catch my Pokemon the way they are. I just play the game normally. If you agree copy & paste this in your sig.

    ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY HYPNOTOAD!


    Garrus Vakarian Facts


    My Fic: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc Help a struggling writer! Read and review! Constructive criticism is much appreciated!

  11. #146
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,643
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I never thought of that xD maybe I'll save it for later in the story.

    Wow I didn't expect people to even notice the drinking scene especially since it was only stated rather than being shown though I guess that kinda makes it better since you don't even know what happened xD

  12. #147
    I need beer money dammit! Rob Anybody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Skyridge Bar
    Posts
    323

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I think some of us (Reggie) would rather not know what happened...
    I don't calculate stat values, and I don't care about natures. I catch my Pokemon the way they are. I just play the game normally. If you agree copy & paste this in your sig.

    ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY HYPNOTOAD!


    Garrus Vakarian Facts


    My Fic: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc Help a struggling writer! Read and review! Constructive criticism is much appreciated!

  13. #148
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Heh, I liked the drinking scene too. :D

    I'm really curious about the Black Knights. xD

    Are there White Knights by any chance? xD

  14. #149
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,643
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    I'm gonna have them drink more often then xD

  15. #150
    How puzzling! Protopost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    356
    Blog Entries
    9

    Default Re: Pokemon Academy Year II: Second Year Rhapsody

    Interesting chapter, starting by having them wake up after being drunk was interesting, but as for what happened, I agree with Rob Anybody (and not because of the hypnotoad). Some of us would rather keep it a mystery(mostly Reggie).

    The battle was interesting, and I don't know why but I like to see psycological turmoil(the whole about to give up part I really liked for some reason) then there's still all the little other hints that show that Reggie might be burning up inside. Keep up the good work.

Page 10 of 27 FirstFirst ... 8910111220 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •