That's up in the air xD originally I was going to add it up but decided to keep it to people's opinions I might reveal it later on though.
That's up in the air xD originally I was going to add it up but decided to keep it to people's opinions I might reveal it later on though.
I think I know what it is, I noticed he blushes awfully a lot for a guy. xD
Yeah I gave those as hints he's a really great character to write I felt like writing the old Reggie again I might have him return.
So I just finished reading all the chapter.
And they were Quite good.
It was written really well, exceptionally well since you didn’t really have to read the first fic to understand this one.
The main characters are also written well.
I really like Stacy and her story but even after that revelation I still feel like she might be hidden something.
Also I like Reggie a lot, specially how he isn’t the typical hero type, but his demeanour seems have change judging by the reactions people seem to be giving him.
There hasn’t really been much other character build up, but I suspect that it’s because this portion of the story has just started and I’m sure you did character build up in the pervious fic.
It definitely has a Harry Potter feel to it, not so much the characters but more Elemental Academy its self, like Hogwarts its seem to be a top school on a beautiful island but also surround by a lot of mystery and secrets... I also wouldn’t be surprised if there was like a bunch of secret passages and what not.
I’m definitely thinking that I’ll read the First Year Adventures also.
It'll really well written, compelling and the characters and are engaging.
I'd liked to be tagged in this Fic and look forward to read more.
For the most part the mistakes weren’t too bad, a few spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, punctuation problems and a name mix-up or two.
Also in chapter 3 you talked about a Damon... which I’m not really sure is in the right place, I think you meant Reggie though.
and you also called Marie Maria.
There’re a few simple spelling mistakes through out.
Try not to over use a words (like Deadpan, you used that in every chapter at least once beside chpt.4)
Also I think your battle could use just a little bit more description just so your readers can visualize the whole scene unfolding before them.
Besides those minor issues I honestly enjoyed the read and look forward to reading more.
Also may I suggest you have a friend proof-read and edit? I think that would help a lot with the minor mistakes, Which I'd be happy to do that for you.
Actually I already have someone that beta reads the fic but if anything happens you can do it if you want.
I actually give the battles that level of the description so that the readers can imagine the rest themselves I give them a touch of actions but I noticed that when you try to describe a battle too much it tends to get long and the point is eventually lost. Of course I also think it should have description for people to actually know what's happening.
@AetherX ; @Thundagere ; @Rob Anybody ; @Jinoga ; @Instrutilus ; @Lugion ; @BlueNostalgia ; @Gastly's Mama ; @Chris†mas Qüeen; @Cosmos
And so here's the fift chapter, this chapter will introduce a new character that will even out the main group between four guys and four girls (I like evening stuff out xD) plus it'll also give Reggie something meaningful to do instead of just doing random crap that come out of nowhere.
Chapter 5: The Girl that Sat Alone
“I can’t believe this!” Reggie screamed as he and Fin raced through the hallways of the school building, passing through the decorated club rooms that were appearing around every corner. “I knew club activities day would turn out badly, there can never be a normal day around here!” Reggie whined.
“Well, I wouldn’t blame them. I mean, you are a very important character,” Fin nodded his head as he turned around, noticing the large crowd of people that was directly right behind them, each and every one of them holding pamphlets for their club. “Everyone wants the hero of the academy to be in their club, after all,” Fin laughed; though this just incited a groan from Reggie.
“They’re chasing you, too!” Reggie exclaimed; making sure that Chigon was still holding on to his shoulder.
“Nope, they’re just chasing you. I already joined the calligraphy club earlier today,” Fin beamed confidently.
“Calligraphy? But you ha—there are girls, aren’t there?” Reggie groaned, especially when he saw Fin nod in agreement. “Then why are you running!?”
“Cause it’s fun, but I gotta go now, so…bye!” he announced before making a turn running the other way from Reggie, who looked rather indignant.
“Traitor!” Reggie panted, he was barely able to run anymore, and he was pretty sure that they were going to be caught soon. “Damn, I hate being the hero.”
“So what is this again? Everything is so brightly decorated,” Stacy smiled as she looked around at all the club decorations that had been set up in the hallway. “I didn’t think the gym was the site for the karate club either,” she replied.
“Well, according to what the principal told me, today’s the day for the students to pick the extracurricular club they want to participate in, if any, of course,” Freed answered before turning around to wave at a few female students who had greeted him. “Most teachers become funders for one of these clubs; some teachers fund more than one. I myself am in charge of the poetry and drama club so I’ll have a lot on my plate soon,” he explained.
“Wow, there are so many clubs,” Stacy gasped. “I don’t really know if I’ll be able to fund any of them, I mean I’m still trying to find my way around the academy,” she giggled.
“Well, you don’t have to yet if you don’t want to but it could help.” Stacy turned around to look at Mrs. Rose who had just finished talking to a few girls from the gardening club. “It gets really difficult to endorse all of them,” she sighed stressfully before patting Stacy’s shoulder. “Since it’s your first year and you’re the youngest teacher I think you should just sit on the sidelines this year.”
“Yeah, but it’ll feel as if I’m not contributing and I really need to start carrying my own weight around here,” Stacy replied confidently. Ever since the year started she had only taught her normal classes and her proper paperwork but aside from that she hadn’t even participated in any of the school events; something that bothered her a lot due to her not wanting to seem like she wasn’t willing to contribute.
“Besides this way I can make myself a little bit more….”
“AH!” she shifted her head, only to witness a racing Reggie who was trying to outrun a mod of people following right behind him.
“Known…what the hell was that?” Stacy raised an eyebrow in confusion as she pointed at the retreating figures.
“That was Reggie running away…” Rose trailed off.
“Damn it, we need a place to hide buddy,” Reggie said towards Chigon as he saw a small turn that came right before the wall. “That’s the last turn…it’s our only shot,” Reggie muttered as he grabbed ahold of the wall and turned around; running over what seemed to be a stack of newspapesr which caused him to hit the ground. “Damn it,” Reggie groaned before shooting straight into the room and slamming the door behind him. “I didn’t want to enter this one specifically but if I didn’t they might’ve caught up.”
“Chi,” Chigon nodded its head, noticing that Reggie had put his ear to the door to make sure they hadn’t followed. “Chi,” suddenly Chigon jumped off from Reggie’s shoulder and onto the floor.
“What is it?” Reggie turned around, only to gasp in embarrassment and hit the door once more. There was a girl sitting alone in the corner of the room, surrounded by rather ostentatious machines one would normally find in a printing press. Around her were endless piles of newspapers
“Sorry,” Reggie chuckled nervously. The girl had short brown hair which matched her amber eyes, seen through her square glasses. She was wearing a brown coat over her Blastoise Aqua uniform. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t think there’d be anyone here, I was just—”
“No i…it’s okay, you just grabbed me by surprise,” the girl replied nervously. Through this Reggie was able to get a better look at what she was holding. She had a small book in between her hands which she had slammed shut when Reggie stormed in. “I’m just not used to people coming into this room is all,” she nodded her head as she got up.”
“I was just running away from the mob of clubs. I’ll get out of your hair once it dies down,” Reggie reassured, taking the chance to scan the room once more. “So, I’m guessing by the newspapers outside and that this is the Newspaper Club room.”
“Uh…yeah, it is. Sorry if it looks trashed, I was focused on reading that.” She quickly arose and started frantically trying to rearrange the mess in the room, only to stop with a bemused expression upon feeling something wet upon her feet. Closer examination revealed it to be Chigon licking her.
“Oh, that’s just…”
“Chigon, I know,” the girl smiled shyly before kneeling down and petting the small dragon, causing him to purr loudly. “I remember because the club was always trying to get more information about this little guy last year. We thought it might help raise some attention since everyone was curious about him.”
“Raise more attention?” Reggie raised an eyebrow, deciding to sit down now that he was going to be staying for a while. “Oh, sorry, do you mind?”
“No, make yourself comfortable,” she replied, gesturing him to sit down. “I’m Claudia Messer, it’s really nice to meet you,” she said while tugging on her glasses.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Re…”
“Reggie Damon, I know,” she interrupted, her face had actually lightened up a little more now so much that it seemed to reflect an air of admiration. “You see, I had to read all the articles last year and act as editor and…well, I was really fond of the articles about you and Chigon they were always so full of action. It was like reading a novel,” she beamed, shifting from watching Reggie and the floor from time to time.
“I didn’t think I had fans, honestly,” Reggie ruffled the back of his head while chuckling. He was surprised at the fact that Claudia was so interested in the articles about his exploits. Most people only wanted him because of the air of importance it might give them but she seemed to actually enjoy the fact that she was around him. “I mean, most people just kind of…well they either want me for something or ignore me altogether.”
“Wait a second…odd. I knew about the school newspaper but I don’t really remember any articles about me. I figured most people knew about what happened out of what they saw or rumors,” Reggie said curiously.
“That’s actually because of two things,” Claudia said, lifting two fingers. “The first thing is that…well the popularity of the newspaper has gone down quiet a lot lately. In fact, just as you said, rumors spread faster,” she explained with a slight hint of bitterness in her tone of voice. “The second reason is that the previous principal Charles Goodwin didn’t allow us to publish anything about you or Chigon.”
“Yeah, that one doesn’t surprise me,” Reggie rolled his eyes. Charles had probably stopped those papers so that people outside the academy wouldn’t know about Chigon if any of the newspapers were to be taken out. That would’ve caused a lot of curiosity from scientists and it might’ve caused Charles to lose his chance to strike. “So is that why you said that you were trying to raise attention?”
“Yeah, but…well, everyone already knew about our news before we published them and the ones that were important were just disregarded as well.” She stared at the floor with disappointment and her defeated voice caused Reggie to looked at the stacks of paper once more. It was impossible for them to have all those papers if the year had barely started. “Those papers aren’t news from this year, they’re all from last year. The school has a policy that any undistributed papers have to be disposed of by the end of the year, but…well, I didn’t want to burn them…”
“Because you felt pride in them, didn’t you?” Claudia raised her head in astonishment, staring at Reggie’s smile as he raised one of the papers. “By looking at you I can tell that you like reading a lot, you might even say it’s your way of contributing. It’s something you love so you didn’t want to get rid of the papers that you yourself had worked with and approved.”
“Exactly, if I were to get rid of them it would be the same as erasing my presence! Add that to the fact that I…well, I’m not really known around this school the teachers only know me because they pass lists to me every day.” She sounded exasperated in Reggie’s opinion; as if she was tired or bored but wasn’t willing to admit it. “Sadly, all the members that came before graduated last year and the ones that were with me either didn’t come back or abandoned the group altogether. I wanted to gather more people on my own but I…I’m really shy and I’m not good at attracting people.”
“That explains why the place is ghostly.” Reggie was a little bit saddened, he could tell that Claudia was kind and quiet; in fact just seeing her reminded him of himself as well as Matthew but for some reason…she seemed worse. She looked like someone who wasn’t looking for a change but for someone that would bring that change to her.
“I can understand how you feel,” Reggie smiled warmly as he looked at the picture of the article he was reading. In the headline was a picture of Reggie wearing a red longcoat and standing alongside with Darren, Jack, Fin and Reggie; though Chigon wasn’t in the picture. “Last year everybody was all over us, it’s no wonder you guys couldn’t even get an interview. Plus, people were paying attention to all the professional newspapers that were reviewing the tournament and talking about the “new legends of the future.”
“I…” she chuckled slightly before looking away once more. “I actually wrote part of that article. You see, I made a bet that if you managed to pass to the finals then they should let me write the article.”
Reggie raised his eyebrow in curiosity before looking down at the article once again. The article was comprised of small summaries and opinions about each of the four finalists of the tournament, each one written by someone different. As he passed through Fin’s, Jack’s and Darren’s article which were about a quarter of the page each he came down upon his article.
“Reggie Damon is a student from the Charizard Red Dorm. He’s a first year like the rest of the finalists but unlike the others, he wasn’t always an elite trainer. Reggie had been branded as one of the weakest trainers in his dorm and the school earlier on the year, but thanks to his hard work and dedication he was able to reach the level of the other three participants in now time. This might sound a little clichéd, but if there’s anyone that can give an example about what it is to climb back from the ashes it’s him. Even though he’d not one of the expected winners, he’ll definitely go far.”
From what he read he could tell that she was a lot more confident on her opinion when she wrote than while talking to other people. “It’s a good article.”
“Thanks,” Claudia passed her hand behind her ear before getting up from her seat. “I…I think that the crowd left already,” she stuttered insecurely as Reggie stood up from his seat. “I hope I hadn’t bored you too much, I’m not used to getting company since the year started.”
“No it was okay. It was quieter than outside, at least,” Reggie laughed innocently. He knelt down to grab a hold of Chigon once more before turning around and heading over to the door.
However, before he could even grab a hold of the knob he felt a tug from his sleeve. “What is it?” Reggie asked, turning back around so that he could come face to face with Claudia.
She was grabbing a firm hold of his left sleeve and she was staring at the floor with a deep blush on her face that was barely visible through her curtain of brown hair. “I just want to…well.” She let go of his hand as quickly as she had grabbed ahold of it and turned to the table, immediately grabbing a sheet of paper that had been placed there and showing to Reggie.
The sheet had the words “Sign-Up Form” on the top along with multiple parts that had to be filled in. He didn’t need her to tell him what she wanted. Instead, he gave the sheet back to her and smiled before patting her shoulder. “I don’t need it.”
“But…but why?” she gasped as a look of sadness mixed with shock became visible through her glasses. “I mean, I just…”
“Don’t worry,” Reggie waved as he opened the door. “Just wait for me, okay Claudia? I’ll come back tomorrow with something much better.”
The next day Claudia was making sure that the room was completely cleaned for when Reggie came back, if he was really going to join then it would’ve been better if they had somewhere to work in. Her anticipation was quelled when she heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” she said as she opened the door.
“Wow, this place looks…awesome.” Claudia blinked twice as she saw a pair of girls walk inside the room along with Reggie and the one she recognized as Darren; though Darren seemed a bit bitter at coming in.
One of the girls, the one with the blue uniform like hers, was marveling on the machines and newspapers; not even noticing Claudia. “I’ve always wanted to be in one of this rooms, even if it is small,” Valerie beamed as she turned to look at Claudia. “Oh. I’m Valerie, Reggie invited me to come since she told me you were looking for members.”
“Same for me. I’m Miko by the way,” Miko waved at Claudia; grinning cheerfully before she scanned the room. “Reggie told us that he wanted to help you make the newspaper better and since I don’t really have anything to do in my afternoons I figured it couldn’t hurt.
“You…you did it?” Clauda stuttered before finally shifting her sight at Reggie.
“I told you I’ll come back with something much better,” Reggie put an arm around both Valerie and Miko, though he did it rather nervously since he wasn’t sure if they were okay with it or not. “Valerie here is a photography fanatic as well as being obsessed with anything regarding news. She can be our photographer. As for Miko, well, she’s really great talking to people and she’s likable so she can be a reporter.”
“What about him?” Claudia pointed at Darren; who still seemed to be annoyed at the fact of being there.
“Why am I here, anyways?” Darren muttered bitterly.
“You don’t have anything to do either and it couldn’t kill you to socialize more, you know,” Valerie tugged on his rib, causing him to wince a little. “Plus you’re one of the strongest trainers here so you can have your own section about battles and...battly stuff,” she nodded her head proudly.
“Battly stuff…” Darren deadpanned.
Disregarding Darren’s opinion Reggie decided to focus on Claudia once more. He grabbed the sheets that were on the desk and handed one to each one of them. “Together with you, the reader that checks the articles, we have the new Newspaper Club!” Reggie announced before handling his sheet to Claudia.
She grabbed the sheet, not willing to let it go as she tried to hold back her tears of happiness. “Thanks, you guys. I mean that,” she sniffed; passing her finger along her right eye so that she could brush off the tears.
End of Chapter 5
Next Time: The Transferred Superstar and Reggie’s Jealousy
This chapter was good.
A Nice build up.
I like Claudia, she seems a little withdrawn but still likeable, I'm just wondering if shes gonna be a battler too.
There were also muchless mistakes, just a few minor ones like a mixed up letter here and there.
Nope Claudia is not a battler, it's precisely because of her shy and introverted nature that she never started a journey of began battling.
I really, really like Claudia. She brings something fresh into the gang so I'm really looking forward to seeing of her more.
Does the next chapter introduce a new recurring character or just a one-time character? :O
That's why - created her I was missing a shy girl in the group so I decided to finish the set up.
And yes he will be a recurring character
Okay quick recap
That little mini-series, was alright. Not my cup of tea and that's why I didn't post after all the chapters but rather when it finished. Same mistakes here and there and actually for me, rather bland but again, that's just me.
I actually really liked this chapter. Maybe one of my favourite's so far. It was written quite well and you showed good characterization. It honestly gave me a little smile, good work. Keep it up.
Wow thanks. Actually I'm quite glad that you all liked this chapter because I was really worried since I wanted to make it heart warming without entering into a lot of drama or angst.
While I do like Claudia, I had sort of hoped that you would introduce a girl that can have pokemon battles. Since Valerie doesn't and Marie also does not appear to battle (though Marie does have Magnezone, a powerful pokemon...) that just leaves Miko. Hopefully the girls as a whole have a slightly increased role as compared to last time, though!
This fic is pretty good! I don't like school though so I wish they could be outside of school.