10th December 2014, 02:32 AM
Pokémon Private Eye
Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
This is a story that I've been yearning to write for a couple months, but school got in the way. Now that school is out, I plan to devote time into writing this. I'm putting a lot of time and thought into this, so hopefully it comes out as well as I want it to. Hopefully everyone enjoys this. Also, I should point out that I do revise this as I go, especially minor details. That's just my writing style.
On the 10th of August, a ten-year-old boy was riding a ferry to the Hoenn region from Castelia City. Said boy was Calvin O'Brien, heir to Unova's biggest technology manufacturing company. Despite being well off, Calvin didn't act the part or dress it, going with a casual look consisting of an open steel blue track jacket over a white short-sleeved shirt, steel blue track pants, and blue and white striped running shoes. His short, golden-brown hair blew freely in the wind, and the sparkling water reflected off his clear blue eyes. He was slightly tanned, an indication that he hadn't spent much time outside. As he stared out to sea, the XTransceiver on his left wrist rang, and he hastened to answer it. The screen showed a pleasant-looking woman who appeared to be in her early twenties with black hair and chestnut brown eyes.
"Master Calvin, how goes the ferry ride?" The woman asked, displaying a rich British accent. At this, several other people nearby looked in Calvin's direction, causing him to blush slightly.
"I thought we agreed you wouldn't call me 'Master' in public!" Calvin hissed. "I'm supposed to be keeping a low profile until we make landfall in Slateport."
"My apologies, Calvin. Anyway, how goes the ride?" The woman asked again.
"It's not bad. Weather's nice, nobody bothers me." Calvin answered. "Cuisine could be better, though. I miss your cooking, Dorothy."
"I'm not surprised." Dorothy giggled. "It's all you've had for the last five years."
"True. Anyway, we're supposed to be landing in about a half hour. I can almost see the harbor from the deck." Calvin said, looking out at the horizon.
"Good. I'm on my way there now to meet you." Dorothy replied. "Your father sent your backpack full of supplies in advance for me to hold onto. Oh, and before I forget, did you remember to take Hoenn's climate into account when you picked your clothes?"
"Yes, Mom." Calvin said, rolling his eyes with a playful scowl. "I remembered it's tropical year-round in Hoenn, so I'm wearing light colors."
"Good to hear." Dorothy said, looking away for a second as a distant voice was heard offscreen. "I have one more matter to which I must attend before I leave to rendezvous with you. Enjoy the rest of your trip. When you arrive, go to the Pokémon Center and wait for me there." She gave a formal bow and the connection cut before Calvin could respond.
"Huh. Wonder what that was about." Calvin muttered. "Where was she, anyway?" In the now-five years Calvin had known Dorothy, he had never seen her spare an ounce of detail when she spoke to him. The fact that she had ended the call so abruptly caught his attention, and someone appeared to be telling her something, though he couldn't make out what was said. Perhaps she was planning on surprising him with something? It made sense, considering the fact that he hadn't gotten any birthday presents from her yesterday, nor from his father. Add his attendant's secrecy so far with whatever she was doing, and it seemed like a birthday surprise. Oh well. Maybe he was overthinking it. In the end, he decided to emulate the Kermit the Froakie meme and sip his tea and mind his own business. One problem: the tea on the ship tasted like Octillery ink, and he hadn't thought to ask for any of Dorothy's Earl Grey to bring with him. He'd ask when he saw her.
"Excuse me?" Calvin turned to see a kid who looked to be in his early teens addressing him. Based on his Trainer gear and overall swagger, he knew the guy was some sort of Trainer. "I'm sorry, but did the woman you were talking to call you 'Master'?"
"I'm sorry, but didn't anyone ever tell you not to eavesdrop on other people's conversations?" Calvin countered, eyeing the boy belligerently. Aw, hell, people heard that? Dammit Dorothy!
"Great, another one of these snobby rich kids starting a journey. We don't have nearly enough of those." The boy grumbled to no one in particular.
Calvin turned away for a moment, sucking his teeth in annoyance. "Okay, let's get a couple things straight." He started slowly, taking a deep breath as he turned to the man and narrowed his eyes. If there was one surefire way to piss him off, it was to pass a judgment about his rich upbringing. "First off, I am Calvin O'Brien, son of Arthur O'Brien and heir to O'Brien enterprises. Just thought you might like to know the snobby rich kid at whom you're currently staring down you're nose. Second, not every kid who grows up rich is spoiled. While true for the majority of us, it is and always will be a stereotype. Third, not that it's any of your business-"
"Don't you lecture-"
"I'M STILL TALKING!" Calvin was quick to shut him up, and was quite literally seething at this point, if his red-tinged face and tightly clenched teeth were any indication. Seeing the horror on the boy's face, he settled down and continued. "Sweet merciful Mew, first you try to judge me, then you interrupt me while I'm talking? You don't have any home training, do you? Not that it matters. As I was saying, I have worked for everything I have, as everyone in this world should. Lastly, and I can't stress this enough... Who the hell do you think you are passing judgments about other people? If, of course, I'm talking to Arceus in a human guise, tell me now and I'll gladly withdraw that last part." He leaned forward, waiting expectantly for a definitive answer, and after three seconds of stunned silence, he stood up straight and crossed his arms. "No? Not Arceus? Thought so. Now, as I was saying, the only person allowed to pass judgment on anyone is Arceus. If you're not Him, don't assume to be. I'll not bear any sort of irreverence in my company. Now, this conversation is over. Good day, sir."
After he finished, he turned around and hunched over the railing again. What he saw surprised him. Either the ship had picked up speed, or he spent more time on that tirade than he thought, because the ship was just about to pull into Slateport's harbor. "Wow, I have no concept of speed, distance, or time." He muttered to himself as the ship pulled into the indoor harbor. "I wonder why the harbor is indoors..."
Once the ferry was safely docked and the passengers were cleared to disembark, Calvin was quick to do so, since he had no luggage other than what was on his person. Dorothy had everything else. He just had to wait for her.
As he walked, someone walked past him, bumping his shoulder unnecessarily hard, almost making him trip. As he regained his center of gravity, he looked up, and recognized the boy who had addressed him earlier. He was wearing sunglasses now, and had a red hat over his eyes that matched his jacket.
"Alright, that's it, you passive-aggressive pissant! Come here!" Calvin growled, catching up to him. Once he did, he got in front of him and glared.
"What? Don't tell me you're gonna lecture me again." The boy huffed, looking down at him. The boy had a few inches on Calvin, and was noticeably more well built. Despite this, Calvin didn't seem threatened at all.
"We both know you have a problem with me. It was evident from you first addressed me, and especially evident the way you bumped me as you walked past. You were acting all high and mighty towards me at first, now you bump me as you pass? Why'd you turn all passive-aggressive about it?"
The boy looked a bit confused and bothered. "What are you even on about?"
"Don't you play dumb with me." Calvin was getting even more annoyed. "You were strutting around with a pair of Iron Balls in your trousers before, now you don't even wanna look at me, but you still have a problem with me. We both know it, so pull those same Iron Balls outta your purse and face me like a man!" By now, a crowd was starting to gather, everyone was watching with keen interest. Both boys noticed, and although Calvin wasn't bothered much, the other boy was looking uncomfortable.
"There's too many people here." The boy muttered, trying to push past him. Calvin wasn't buying it. He blocked the boy's path again, much to his annoyance.
"At least let me register you in my XTransceiver." Calvin was taking a calmer approach now, much to everyone's confusion. Everyone thought a big fight was gonna break out, but here he was trying to get his contact information?
"What the hell for?" The boy demanded, not doing a very good job of concealing his confusion and discomfort.
"When I've officially started my journey and have made some headway, I'm gonna let you know, and we're gonna meet up and settle this like proper Pokémon Trainers." Calvin said, tapping a button on his XTransceiver. "Now, what do you say?"
The boy seemed to consider this a moment, then sighed heavily and shook his head. "If you're gonna be travelling here, we'll run into each other eventually. Then I'll think about it." Then, before anyone knew what happened, he tore through the crowd, and disappeared into the city.
Calvin looked a bit lost, as did everyone else, but he shook it off. The way he saw it, even if it wasn't definite, he had a rivalry to look forward to. The more he dwelled on it, the more energized and motivated he got. Was this was being a Pokémon Trainer felt like? If so, this was going to be a great adventure.
Then he remembered that he needed to go somewhere and wait for Dorothy to arrive. He couldn't do anything without her, unfortunately. All he could do was wait. So he decided to try and get his bearings and find the Pokémon Center like Dorothy instructed.
Last edited by Detective Calvin; 10th December 2014 at 01:46 PM.
10th December 2014, 09:37 AM
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Haigh!! A very impressive and highly arresting start to a fanfiction I can't wait to read more of!
This is purely a slice of life, a description of a sliver in time and you still managed to pack it with a punch. Your prose is very succinct and flows with great pace, which coheres beautifully with the type of character that Calvin represents. Your description and your dialogue is very natural and very impressive.
It is a story I will definitely be keeping an eye on, because it snared my attention, and yet, I find one aspect just a little jarring: Calvin's age. Not many ten-year olds can delivery such a tirade to someone who is older than them. The high frequency lexical choices seem at odds with his age, even though I can understand he comes from a prestigious background, it's hard to put the words in a kid's mouth.
Still, bulaí fear,
The Once and Future Champ'The Once and Future Champ' tells the tale of a young Trainer, who wants to make a name for himself, leaving home to start his journey in a world which is torn by prejudices.
10th December 2014, 06:27 PM
Pokémon Private Eye
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Calvin was in awe at the beauty of Slateport City. He had never been outside of Castelia City, so everything was new to him. The air, while exponentially saltier than Castelia's many harbors, was far cleaner than the urban setting to which he was accustomed. The sky was a lighter shade of blue than his jacket, beautifully so, and not a cloud dotted the sky. It was also quite hot, in a tropical sense, without being unbearably hot. Calvin knew instantly that he liked Hoenn, and wondered if all of Hoenn was this nice.
As he walked along the white marble streets, he easily found the Pokémon Center. It looked far different than Castelia's Pokémon Center, but that was to be expected. The red roof was the only constant between them, but there were no windows on this one. The walls and door were all a metallic silver that hurt Calvin's eyes due to the sun's glare. He saw a similar building with a blue roof not far off, and he had no idea what it could have been. Fighting down his urge to explore the city, he entered the Pokémon Center as per Dorothy's instructions.
Once inside, he was hit with a sense of familiarity, The color scheme was the same as he remembered it, but this Pokémon Center but smaller on the inside as well as the outside. He quickly attributed the cause to the lack of a Poké Mart counter. There was just one counter towards the back, immediately across from the door, behind which he spotted someone who could only be Nurse Joy, but looked quite different. Waving it off as regional differences, he went ahead and approached the counter. As he did, he became aware of the ambient music that played in Castelia's Pokémon Center, but there were a lot of differences.
"Welcome to the Pokémon Center. Do you need your Pokémon healed?" Nurse Joy greeted Calvin with a familiar smile.
"Oh, I don't have any Pokémon yet." Calvin answered, slightly disturbed by the fact that this Nurse Joy sounded the same as Castelia's Nurse Joy. "I just got here from Unova and was told to come here."
"I see." Nurse Joy looked thoughtful for a moment. "Forgive my presumptuousness, but are you Calvin O'Brien?"
Calvin cast a wary look at Nurse Joy, and took a step back. "How do you know who I am?" He asked slowly, feeling a bit creeped out that she knew who he was almost immediately.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was told to expect you when the ferry from Castelia City arrived." Nurse Joy clarified. "The woman who told me to expect you gave me a roundabout description of what you looked like."
"...I see..." Calvin muttered, turning away for a moment before turning back to her. "Oh, where's the Poké Mart? I'm so used to it being in here." He motioned to where it would have been.
"The Poké Mart is a separate building in Hoenn." Nurse Joy explained. "It looks just like the Pokémon Center, but has a blue roof instead of red."
"Oh, so the building right nearby, then. I had no idea what that was." Calvin nodded to himself and looked around once more, finding a chair against the wall. Perfect, he needed to sit down after standing for several hours straight. "Thank you, Nurse Joy. I'm going to sit down now."
"No problem. Let me know if you need anything else." Nurse Joy replied as he went to sit down.
As soon as he sat down, Calvin was amazed by how comfortable the chair was. Combined with the ambient music, he found himself asleep without even realizing it. When he came to, he smelled Earl Grey tea, and woke up thinking he was at home. Dorothy had a habit of waking him up with tea, something he thoroughly enjoyed. When he realized he was in the Pokémon Center, he became fully alert, unsure how he could be smelling Dorothy's tea when she wasn't even-
"9 minutes, 18 seconds." A voice with a rich British accent said from next to him, causing him to turn to the voice. A tall woman wearing a light blue sleeveless knee-length dress with a white leggings and a white undershirt with elbow-length sleeves was sitting in the chair beside him. In her frilly white glove-clad hands was a teacup, half full of tea. A steel blue backpack with a Luxury Ball on top sat at her feet, which were clad in the same black flats Calvin remembered. "That's a new record low for you, Master Calvin. Not surprising, these chairs are comfortable."
"Dorothy... so that's what took you so long." Calvin muttered, eyeing Dorothy's outfit. It was a departure from the usual black gothic lolita dresses she usually wore. Fitting, considering where they were, but it was still new to him. Then again, so was his outfit. Still, she looked better in that outfit. "You were buying new clothes?"
"No, I did that yesterday, when I got here." Dorothy replied, meeting Calvin with a knowing smile that made him look away sheepishly. "I was catching your starter Pokémon. It's in this Luxury Ball. Go ahead, open it."
"Really? Wow!" Calvin exclaimed, picking it up. He pushed the button, and the ball released a reddish-white light which formed into a Pokémon and let off red sparkles as it finished forming. What stood before Calvin was a large quadrupedal Pokémon with luxurious white fur, black claws and face, a sickle-shaped horn on its forehead as well as a black jewel-like adornment, vicious ruby red eyes, and a wickedly sharp black tail. "You got me an Absol!"
"Happy belated birthday, young Master." Dorothy said, clearly enjoying the look on Calvin's face. "Your father told me you had an attachment to your mother's Absol, so I caught one for you."
"Thank you, Dorothy..." Calvin whispered breathlessly, kneeling down to focus on the Absol, who regarded him with curiosity. "Hi there. I'm your new Trainer. My name is Calvin." He reached a hand out to touch it, and the Absol immediately sniffed his hand warily before stepping back hesitantly. Before Calvin could ask what was wrong, it raised its own paw and placed it in Calvin's hand before looking up at him as if awaiting a response of some kind. Calvin smiled and turned to Dorothy, who was taking pictures. "Just out of curiosity, do you know its gender?"
"I'm afraid I do not." Dorothy answered. "However, once you have your Pokédex, you will be able to check. When you're ready, we'll go to Littleroot Town to get it." She sat back down and finished drinking her tea.
"Okay. Could you make some tea for me before we go, please?" Calvin asked, watching Absol walk over to his backpack and sniff it.
"Of course. It will take a few minutes. In the meantime, you can start bonding with Absol." Dorothy replied, getting up and going off somewhere else.
Calvin smiled and sat back in his chair, motioning Absol over. Absol came over and sat at his feet, looking up at him. "You and I are going to go far together, Absol." He declared, rubbing its head as he waited for his tea.
11th December 2014, 03:01 PM
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this story! It is an engrossing story, and very well written at that. You've done a wonderful job thus far at explaining and describing everything, and I look forward to the rest of the story!
My Pokémon Blog
Claims: Akihiko Sanada (Persona 3, Persona 3 FES, Persona 3 Portable, Persona 4 Arena), Sif (Dark Souls), Evoker (Persoma 3, Persona 3 FES, Persona 3 Portable), Greatsheild of Artorias (Dark Souls), Nightingale Bow (Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)
11th December 2014, 11:06 PM
Pokémon Private Eye
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Calvin had been trying with little success for the past eight minutes to make some headway with Absol, but Absol turned out to be more or less aloof about the whole endeavor. Calvin was steadily losing his patience with it.
"Okay, come on Absol, what's wrong?" Calvin asked, smiling patiently at Absol.
"Sol." If Absol had shoulders, it likely would have shrugged, but it settled for disregarding the question and licking its forepaws.
"Okay, I'm trying to understand you, so could you meet me halfway, open your mouth and tell me what's bugging you?" Calvin tried vainly to reason with Absol, and Absol seemed to consider it. After a moment, it raised up on its hind legs, resting its forelegs on his knees, opened its mouth wide as wide as it could, display four small, sharp canines, and uttered a very loud, deadpan, "ABSOL."
"Pff. Smartass." Calvin muttered, though he couldn't help but chuckle. "Of all the Absols Dorothy possibly could've caught, she had to find the snarkiest of them all." Absol looked indifferent, and got down, going back to licking its forepaws. "So you're just not gonna talk to me." Absol gave him a deadpan look. "Oh, right. Can't understand you." Absol sighed and went back to licking its forepaws. "Fine, a simple question. Are you a boy or girl?" Absol simply nodded 'yes'. "Oh, I give up." Just then, Dorothy came back with a teacup in her hands.
"Here you are, Earl Grey tea." Dorothy said, handing the cup to him. "It's hot."
"It's better that way." Calvin replied, blowing once and taking a sip. "Thank you, Dorothy."
"My pleasure, Master Calvin. Once you're finished, we can leave for Littleroot Town." Dorothy replied, sitting down next to him.
"Right. Maybe Absol will feel better once we're actually moving-huh?" He looked down to see Absol up on his lap again, eyeballing the teacup enthusiastically. "Hey, what's got you so chummy all of a sudden?" Absol didn't respond, simply sniffing at the teacup and becoming more enthralled with it as a result.
"Perhaps its wants to know what's in the cup?" Dorothy offered, studying Absol closely. It kept sniffing the cup and looking up at Calvin with the best puppy eyes it could muster, all while its tail went to town and back. "I had no idea they were capable of such excitement."
"Yeah, well, this tea is mine." Calvin replied, taking a long sip. Absol grew disappointed, and Calvin smirked in response. "Yeah, that's right. I can be mean too."
"Perhaps you shouldn't anger it." Dorothy suggested, holding out her hands as her expression grew increasingly nervous in response to Absol's left paw glowing black. "You are holding one of my tea cups."
"Hey, Absol was mean to me, so it's not getting any-" Calvin stopped short when Absol jumped up, knocking the teacup out of Calvin's hands and towards Dorothy with a backpaw swipe. "What the heck was that?"
"The reason why you shouldn't have angered it!" Dorothy griped, having barely caught the teacup, examining it to see if it was damaged. "I believe she used Knock Off."
"Knock Off, huh? Hey, wait, why did you say 'she'?" Calvin asked. "I thought you said you didn't know its gender."
"Only a woman would have done exactly what she did out of sheer spite from you taunting her with the tea and denying her." Dorothy explained, kneeling down and rubbing Absol's head, eliciting what sounded like a purr. "If a woman wants something and can't have it, nobody can. Though she shouldn't have wasted my tea, or put my cup in danger."
"Yeah, because the chance of your teacup being broken is way more significant than the chance of an angry Absol mauling me." Calvin scoffed, causing Absol to growl at him.
"Just for that, you're going to clean up this mess." Dorothy said pleasantly, packing away the teacups.
"Oh, fine." Calvin muttered, leaving to get paper towels. He came back a few seconds later with a large wad of them, and started cleaning up the mess. "So how are gonna get to Littleroot Town?"
"We're going to fly there." Dorothy said matter-of-factly.
"Wait, we're flying?" Calvin parroted, looking up at her quizzically.
"Yes, we're flying." Dorothy repeated. "I don't know how you could possibly be confused."
"You do realize that I've never flown before, right?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm aware. There's a first time for everything, though." Dorothy replied offhandedly, walking outside. "I'll be outside waiting for you."
"Okay." Calvin tossed back, finishing up and throwing the paper towels away. Absol was sitting next to his back, watching him the whole way with a spiteful glare. "So, if you're a girl like Dorothy said, I think I know what your nickname is gonna be." Absol nodded, then cocked her head, as if asking what it was going to be. "How does 'Pandora' sound?" She seemed to consider it, and nodded after a moment, still staring viciously at him. "It's settled, then. Your new name is Pandora." Her facial expression didn't change. "Still mad at me about the tea, huh?" She nodded. "Fine. We're flying, so I have to put you back in your ball." He picked up the Luxury ball from the table and recalled her, attaching it to his belt afterward. "Maybe she'll feel better after some time in there. These Luxury Balls are supposed to be really comfortable for them." He said to himself, picking up his backpack and heading outside. Dorothy was standing there waiting, and next to her was a very large Salamence. Having never seen one before, he was quite shocked and understandably intimidated by it.
"Are you ready to go?" Dorothy asked.
"On second thought... I'll be right back." Calvin stammered nervously, heading back inside in nothing short of a hurry. He came back a few minutes later, looking a lot better. "Okay, we can go now."
"Okay, good. Go ahead and get on Salamence's back." Dorothy instructed. "Don't worry, he won't attack you."
"It's not him I'm worried about." Calvin muttered under his breath, climbing on the large dragon's back. Once he was settled, Dorothy climbed on behind him.
"Now Salamence, he's never flown before, so don't go too fast." Dorothy commanded. Salamence snorted some smoke in response. "Okay, let's go." Salamence let out a deafening roar, causing Calvin to cringe and tighten his grip around Salamence's neck while ruffling's Dorothy's hair, and lifted off slowly before gradually picking up speed and flying eastward. They flew over a large inlet of water, then a massive forest before landing in a small town nestled in said forest a minute later.
"Oh my, the scenery from above is so beautiful, wouldn't you say, Master Calvin?" Dorothy gushed excitedly, hopping off of Salamence and looking around. The town was surrounded by forest on all sides, with a small path open to the north leading to Route 101. There were several houses along the main path, and a large building in the southwest part of town. A thud behind her caught her attention, saw that Calvin had fallen off of Salamence. "Oh my, are you alright?"
"I can feel my heartbeat in my ears." Calvin mumbled, sitting up and trying to regain his bearings. "Why are we in a forest?"
"This is Littleroot Town." Dorothy replied, recalling Salamence and helping Calvin up. "We're here to see Professor Birch and get you started."
"Right. Note: flying is bad for me." Calvin muttered, fixing his hair, prompting Dorothy to do the same.
"Noted. Now let's go. His lab is that way." Dorothy said walking towards the lab.
"Don't leave me behind!" Calvin exclaimed, running to catch up to her. When they got there, Dorothy knocked on the door, and were greeted after a few seconds by Professor Birch.
"Oh! You must be Dorothy and Calvin!" The Professor greeted them, looking at both of them.
"Eh? How do you know us?" Calvin asked, taking a step back nervously.
"I called in advance to let him know we were coming." Dorothy explained matter-of-factly.
"Of course." Calvin sighed. Dammit Dorothy!
"She also told me you wouldn't be needing a starter Pokémon, so all you need is a Pokédex." The Professor said, leading them inside. Calvin was in awe at all the machines and equipment in the lab, especially a computer displaying detailed information on several Pokémon Calvin didn't recognize. "Excuse the mess, We're always quite busy here."
"We? Oh." Only then had Calvin realized there were other people there as well, working with the equipment. He deduced that they were his assistants. Refocusing, he noticed a small red device on a desk that looked like a tiny computer, and three Poké Balls on another table. "Is that the Pokédex?" He asked, pointing to the red device.
"That's right, the Pokédex is a high-tech Pokémon encyclopedia that gives detailed information on the Pokémon you'll meet on your travels." The Professor explained, handing it to him. "If it's a Pokémon you've caught, you can get even more information on it."
"Wow, cool!" Calvin exclaimed, unclipping his Luxury Ball and letting Pandora out. She looked around curiously before sitting down and looking at the strange thing Calvin was holding. He pointed it at her, and it beeped after a second before speaking in an automated male voice.
"Absol: the Disaster Pokémon. Absol has the ability to foretell the coming of natural disasters. It lives in a harsh, rugged mountain environment. This Pokémon very rarely ventures down from the mountains. Gender: Female. Ability: Super Luck. Moves Known: Quick Attack, Knock Off, Double Team, Bite."
"Fascinating." Calvin murmured, tucking the Pokédex in his pocket. Pandora continued to stare confusedly.
"Called it." Dorothy giggled.
"What do you want, a medal?" Calvin grumbled.
"Nope, just for you to realize that when I'm right, I'm right." Dorothy replied.
"Anyway, thank you, Professor." Calvin said, shifting his attention from his annoying attendant.
"You're welcome, Calvin. I hope you have a great adventure." The Professor replied, waving as they departed.
"Okay, what next?" Calvin asked once they were outside. "I suppose we could go looking for Pokémon."
"We'll head north to Route 101, which leads to Oldale Town." Dorothy said, pointing north.
"Alright, to Route 101!" Calvin cheered. "Let's go, Pandora!" Pandora rolled her eyes and walked between Calvin and Dorothy as they walked north out of town to Route 101.
13th December 2014, 09:21 PM
Pokémon Private Eye
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Calvin and Dorothy had been walking for only a few minutes along Route 101, and were surprised to see a Pokémon approach them. It looked like a raccoon, but with spiky fur. It walked in a an odd zigzag pattern, which was quite confusing and distracting, especially to Pandora, who seemed to be struggling to make sense of what she was looking at, judging by her facial expression and posture.
"Do you know what that thing is, Dorothy?" Calvin asked, studying it as it walked up to them. It stopped in front of Calvin, sniffed at him, than walked over to Dorothy and did the same thing, and finally Pandora, who didn't take kindly to being sniffed, and shoved her left paw into its nose to push it away. Strangely, the weird Pokémon seemed to be interested in Pandora the most, and continued to invade her personal space and sniff her.
"If memory serves, it is a Zigzagoon." Dorothy answered, kneeling down to get a closer look at it. "Why don't you check your Pokédex?"
"Oh, duh." Calvin scoffed, pulling his Pokédex out of his pocket and pointing it at the creature Dorothy thought to be a Zigzagoon. After a second, it beeped and began speaking.
"Zigzagoon, the Tiny Raccoon Pokémon. Zigzagoon restlessly wanders everywhere at all times, doing so because it is very curious. It becomes interested in anything that it happens to see."
"Sound like it has a short attention span." Calvin commented, putting the Pokédex away.
"Pandora might beg to differ." Dorothy stated, watching Zigzagoon continue to sniff at Pandora, much to her annoyance. Finally, she lashed out with a left paw swipe, knocking Zigzagoon to the ground. It shook off the hit, and resumed what it was doing without a moment's hesitation. Pandora would have none of it, smacking it away again. This time, Zigzagoon grew irritated, and assumed a stance, an action which Pandora seemed all too eager to emulate.
"Alright, let's battle it, Pandora!" Calvin cheered. Pandora ignored him, planting her feet and tensing up, causing a white aura to wash over her. While Zigzagoon was distracted her the aura around her, she sprang forward, moving faster than human eyes could follow, and plowed through Zigzagoon, throwing it backwards a fair distance.
"Whoa, that attack was fast!" Calvin exclaimed as Pandora moved back to her starting position and waited for Zigzagoon to get back up.
"Quick Attack is fast, is it?" Dorothy asked in a bland monotone. "Hmm. Imagine that." As she spoke, Zigzagoon got up and rushed at Pandora, not moving nearly as fast as Pandora had, though still fast in its own right. When it entered striking distance, it lunged forward, attempting to ram Pandora, but instead passed through her as several more of her seemed to materialize of thin air, surrounding it.
"Hey, how did Pandora duplicate herself?" Calvin asked, clearly as confused as Zigzagoon. "Is that what Double Team is?" He was even more confused when Zigzagoon lunged at the one standing behind it, landing a solid hit on Pandora, who was even more confused. "How was it able to figure out which one was real? I had no clue!"
"It's hard to know for sure, but I believe that Zigzagoon identified Pandora through smell." Dorothy said thoughtfully, watching the battle closely. "It did spend quite a bit of time sniffing at her, so it makes sense that it would be able to identify the real one through smell." As she said this, the fakes vanished, and Pandora picked herself up, shaking off the blow. It didn't seem to affect her that much, though her fur was quite ruffled, and she was very annoyed, as evidenced by her lunging with a glowing black paw and smacking Zigzagoon's face into the dirt.
"That must have been Knock Off." Calvin commented as Pandora jumped back towards him to put some distance between herself and Zigzagoon. "Okay Pandora, let's put this battle to bed. Quick Attack!" At his order, Pandora turned towards him to give him a quizzical look. "What, what's wrong?" Pandora rolled her eyes, sitting down and watching Zigzagoon charge at her. "It's coming! Hurry up and use Quick Attack!" In response, Pandora coolly jumped to the side to dodge Zigzagoon's Tackle, and sank her fangs into its tail as it passed. Zigzagoon howled out in pain, and Pandora whipped her head around and let go, throwing it into the nearest tree. Noticing it was clearly outmatched, Zigzagoon struggled to its feet and ran off, disappearing into the foliage.
"Congratulations, Master Calvin. You won your first battle." Dorothy commented in a notably bland and mocking tone as Pandora walked back to him and sat down, lciking her paws.
"Yeah, right. I didn't win anything. Pandora didn't listen to a word I said!" Calvin complained, scowling at Pandora, who looked up at him, smiling innocently as if to say, 'who, me?' "You heard me. We're supposed to work together as a team! That means when I give a command, you're supposed to listen!" Pandora scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"It's just a hunch, but I believe the reason she did not obey you is because she is holding a grudge against you." Dorothy chimed in, looking down at Pandora curiously.
"How am I supposed to know what she's mad at me for?" Calvin asked, looking between the two females in exasperation. "She's not telling me what's wrong, or even trying for that matter."
"She's not supposed to tell you, you're supposed to know what you did wrong." Dorothy said with a smirk. "But you're smart, you'll figure it out."
"You're mocking me." Calvin sighed, walking ahead.
"Why would I want to mock you?" Dorothy asked, not sparing any sarcasm as she followed him, Pandora tagging along behind her. "Just think, when was it that she was first mad at you, and what had you done to warrant it?"
"It was right after I told her she couldn't have any of my tea because she was being mean to me." Calvin replied, turning to look at Pandora. "You can't possibly still be on about that."
"You underestimate a female's ability to hold grudges." Dorothy giggled. "In any case, what do you think you should do?"
"Eh, I suppose I could give her some next time." Calvin said after a moment of thought. "How does that sound, Pandora?" Pandora turned up her nose at him, clearly rejecting the idea. "Well, it was worth a shot. Hey, is that the next town?" Straight ahead, Calvin could see a town similar in size to Littleroot Town, but looked a lot different in that this town wasn't surrounded by a forest, and it had a Pokémon Center, as well as a Poké Mart.
"Indeed, that is Oldale Town." Dorothy answered. "I do not believe there is anything we need here, so if you wish, we can head west through Oldale to get to Route 102."
"Fine by me. Maybe we'll find some more interesting Pokémon there." Calvin muttered, entering town and making his way westward. Someone else seemed to have other ideas, however, as a strange looking person wearing a white apron with a blue Poké Ball symbol on it walked up to him. He was holding a box full of spray bottles that Calvin identified as Potions.
"Hello! You look like a new Trainer! Are you familiar with the Poké Mart?" The strange man asked him.
"If you mean the building with the blue roof, yeah." Calvin replied, obviously uninterested in holding a conversation with the person, yet he went on.
"As part of our promotional campaign, we're giving out free Potions to new Trainers who pass through." The man explained, grabbing a Potion out of the box and handing it to Calvin.
"Oh, well thank you." Calvin said with blatant surprise, putting the Potion in his backpack.
"My pleasure! Have a great day!" The man replied, turning to go back to the Poké Mart, leaving Calvin in stunned silence.
"Pandora, do you have any idea what that was all about?" Calvin asked after a moment. Pandora just sighed quietly and kept walking, prompting Calvin to follow her. "Hey, where did Dorothy disappear to, anyway?"
"I never went anywhere." Dorothy replied from behind him, scaring the crap out of him. "I was right behind you the whole time. You were simply too distracted to notice."
"Don't scare me like that!" Calvin exclaimed, trying to get his heart to slow down. "Anyway, let's head to Route 102." He kept walking west through town, with Pandora walking ahead of him and Dorothy walking behind him.
14th December 2014, 04:16 PM
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Impressions: simple so far, no indications or discernible hints of deeper plot developments.
Calvin O'Brien: the central character is presented as a spoiled, born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-his-mouth brat. The narration says he "doesn't act the part" but by his dialog, that clearly isn't the case: he completely acts the part of an entitled (possibly somewhat insecure) snob. That's Calvin's central flaw, his hubris, for which I'm anticipating a major crisis or incident in the plot that will begin to break it down and spur on development, since that seems to be the only driving factor of the story so far.
Pandora the Absol: She fits. Calvin's first Pokémon reflects/clashes with Calvin's haughty pride, and will likely provide ample opportunity for hilarity, as well as plenty of room for development.
Dorothy: I'm not sure what to make of her yet. She seems to be an O'Brien estate maidservant of some sort? So far she's been holding Calvin's hand for pretty much the entire story. She catches Calvin's Pokémon for him, hauls a tea set around with her, flies Calvin to littleroot (covering him with much more powerful Pokémon in her Slamence), and seems to have prearranged his entire journey for him.
Question: Did Calvin choose to go on this journey, or was he pressed into doing so? Occasionally in other stories about wealthy young proud protagonists, one/both of the parents/guardians get weary of the child's pride, and will send them away to learn humility/responsibility from a mentor or doing some task or quest, such as a training journey in the Pokémon setting. If that's what you had in mind, that's great! If not, well, you haven't really elaborated on much background, so there's still room to allude to it if you want to take it there. That brings me to my next point.
Critique: The story is somewhat lacking of hook. What reason do we have to keep reading besides to see Calvin knocked down a peg/reconcile with Pandora the Absol? Like I mentioned earlier, literally the only driving force this story has is the possibility of seeing some Development in Calvin. Even then, we're still lacking a major catalyst to spur this development on. The aloofness of Pandora the Absol and her clashing with Calvin isn't a particularly strong draw on its own. If there's something else going on, a plot device affecting the story that Calvin confronts, it could really help get things moving.
Technical side: you seem to have a very compact writing style, moving through things very quickly, without much detail. There are times when it can be to a story's benefit, but especially this early on, getting a feel for the aesthetics could really help set the tone/feel/mood. One instance that stands out in particular is Birch. I would have loves to see more interaction between Birch and Calvin, perhaps even some foreshadowing for Calvin's development.
Well, I've said my piece. Hope you keep writing and keep enjoying, and hope my input has been helpful.
Catch you later!
15th December 2014, 02:49 AM
Pokémon Private Eye
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Calvin and Dorothy decided to stopped in a small clearing on Route 102 to take a break. Calvin had gone wandering, reflecting on his first day as a Trainer so far. In an ironic twist, the very day for which he'd waited years was turning out to be one big middle finger to him. He'd gotten his favorite Pokémon to start, but she hated him over a cup of tea. How was he supposed to catch more Pokémon and be successful as a Trainer of his first Pokémon wasn't even helping him? He was so caught up in his thoughts, he hadn't even noticed a small white Pokémon with a green head and red horn run out of a nearby bush and hide behind him until it brushed his pants leg. He looked down at it, then pulled out his Pokédex and scanned it.
"Ralts, the Feeling Pokémon. Ralts senses the emotions of people using the horns on its head. This Pokémon rarely appears before people, but when it does, it draws closer if it senses that the person has a positive disposition."
Calvin took a moment to note the irony that a Ralts was approaching him, and even using him as a shield despite his disposition being anything but positive. He then noted that it was clutching his pants leg and quivering; perhaps it was too scared to sense his feelings? Or maybe it thought he could protect it from whatever was scaring it. He ultimately decided it didn't matter, and was about to pick it up when the bush rustled again.
"Alright, Ralts, I know you're around here somewhere!" A gruff male voice shouted, seeming the emanate from the rustling bush. Immediately afterwards, a tall, muscular man with jet black hair and a scar over his left eye emerged, glaring at Calvin. "Hey, kid! I found that Ralts fair and square! Hand it over!"
Calvin gulped loudly, looking studying the man closely. He had all black clothing with a strange symbols on the shoulder of his jacket that consisted of an orange circle with a black 'C' superimposed over it. Something about it rubbed Calvin the wrong way. Normally, he'd never get between a Trainer and a Pokémon they were pursuing, but this Ralts could sense people's feelings, and it was even more scared now that this guy was standing in front of them, since now it felt like he had a massager attached to his ankle. He looked down at it and saw it staring up at him, its bright red eyes big and moist with fear. If the vibes it was getting from this guy were that bad, he didn't want to know what kind of fate awaited this Ralts if he gave it to him.
"Hey kid, did you hear me? Get outta my way or I'll plow through ya!" The man shouted, intensifying his glare. Calvin shrank back, but matched the glare with one of determination. That threat had sealed the deal; if he was willing to resort to threats to get his way, he wasn't getting anything.
"Sorry, but fate has better plans for this Ralts." Calvin replied, picking Ralts up and cradling it in an attempt to comfort it. "This poor thing is scared to death of you, and considering it can sense emotions, it must have a damn good reason."
"Your bravado is admirable, kid." The man chuckled, pulling out a Poké Ball. "But it looks like fate's dealt you a bad hand; let me show you why!" He threw the Poké Ball, and a black, mummy-looking Pokémon with gray hands attached at the torso, two grey tendrils extnding from its back, another coiled one one on its head, and one red eye appeared. Calvin instantly pulled out his Pokédex and scanned it, not knowing what it was.
"Dusclops, the Beckon Pokémon. Dusclops's body is completely hollow; there is nothing at all inside. It is said that its body is like a black hole. This Pokémon will absorb anything into its body, but nothing will ever come back out."
"Sounds like the slots at Game Corners." Calvin quipped, putting the Pokédex away and mentally smacking himself for even doing that in this situation. "Anyway, I meant what I said! Pandora, back me up!" He reached for her Luxury Ball, but it wasn't on his belt. Then he remembered that he left Pandora with Dorothy at their camp because she didn't want to go with him. "Oh, crapbaskets." He then did what anyone else with no way to back up his mouth would do; he turned tail and started running back to camp. With any luck, he could get there in time to alert Dorothy of the situation. He was about to escape through a bush when a pain erupted in his back and he was thrown to the ground. He turned around and the man and his Dusclops were slowly closing in.
"Bet you're wishing you'd handed it over now, huh?" The man chuckled. "Dusclops, finish him as you please, then retrieve the Ralts." The Dusclops shuffled towards him, and its right hand started glowing black. Calvin panicked and started to try to get up when he heard the bush behind him rustle. He saw a flash of white with some black flying over his head, then saw the Dusclops get smacked hard enough to make it slide backwards and cancel its attack. The white blur reappeared next to him, and Calvin saw that it was Pandora, who was currently staring down the still reeling Dusclops.
"Pandora? Thank Mew you came!" Calvin exclaimed, getting up and looking at the Ralts to see if it was okay. It looked a bit shaken up, but otherwise fine. He turned his attention back to the man and his Dusclops, seething with rage. "Now an ounce of decency in you, is there? Having your Pokémon attack me like that is way inhumane! Pandora, go! Knock Off!" To Calvin's surprise, Pandora attacked without hesitation, leaping with a glowing paw to swipe at Dusclops again. It struck Dusclops dead in the face, knocking it back again, but Dusclops didn't seem all that bothered. "Hey, what gives? I thought dark-type moves were super effective against ghost-types!"
"Type effectiveness doesn't matter much when a Pokémon as weak as your Absol is attacking a Pokémon and defensively built as my Dusclops." The man explained, grinning evilly. "Put down that Absol with Thunderpunch!" On command, Dusclops' right hand glowed yellow and crackled with electricity before it launched a fist-shaped projectile made out of electricity at Pandora.
"Oh, crap! Pandora, Double Team!" Calvin shouted in a panic, though Pandora seemed to be a step ahead of him, already executing the move as if on instinct. Before Calvin could blink, there were ten Pandoras spread out in a circle surrounding Dusclops, with the one standing in Pandora's original position vanishing as the projectile passed harmlessly through it. "Oh, good! Now, try Knock Off again, and this time really drive it!" All nine remaining Pandoras lunged at Dusclops, paws glowing to attack. All of them passed through harmlessly except the one behind it, which knocked Dusclops on its face as she landed next to it. Calvin was about to call another attack, but then he saw the man... grin? This couldn't be good. Then he remembered the Pokédex entry, and the tendrils Pandora was standing between, and went pale. "Pandora! Get out of there! It's gonna grab you and suck you into its body!"
"Too late, kid! Do it!" The man called out almost gleefully as Pandora was suddenly ensnared by Dusclops' two tendrils and slowly dragged towards Dusclops, who was slowly getting up and turning toward her. Pandora instinctively bit down on one of the tendrils wrapped around her right forepaw, but Dusclops didn't seem affected by it other than an eerie moan. She tried again on the one wrapped around her left forepaw, with the same result.
"Stop it! Let her go!" Calvin shouted, struggling to come up with something. Short of trying to get Ralts to fight, he had nothing. Just then, the bush rustled again, and he heard a familiar voice that filled him with relief and joy.
"Shadow Ball!" Less than a second after he heard the familiar British female voice pierce the air, a black ball of energy laced in black electricity flew past his head so close the wind shear left friction burn on his right cheek, and struck Dusclops in the back, exploding on contact. Dusclops didn't seem to react other than immediately looking up. The tendrils that were pulling Pandora into its body went slack and fell to its sides, thus unceremoniously dropping Pandora, and Dusclops' entire body seemed to fold in on itself like an inflatable tube construct with no more air. Pandora didn't hesitate to run back to Calvin, who knelt down to hug her, breathing heavily with ill-contained emotion.
"Pandora, are you okay? I thought you were a goner!" Calvin breathed, holding Pandora close to him, who pulled back and motioned to the Ralts in his arms, who had been getting painfully squished between the two. "Oops." He set it down, patting its head before turning to see Dorothy standing behind him, eyeing the man and his defeated Dusclops.
"Are you alright, Master?" Dorothy asked in an uncharacteristically edgy tone, never taking her eyes off the man as he recalled his Dusclops.
"Yeah, thanks to you, Dorothy. Thank you." Calvin sighed, noticing a small lavender cat-like Pokémon with a forked tail a red jewel on its forehead standing at Dorothy's side. "How'd you know I was in trouble?"
"Pandora got really antsy all of a sudden and took off running in the same direction you went. Considering her species' natural intuition, I put two and two together." Dorothy explained, stepping forward to address the man. "I don't know you are or why you are here, but consider this your only chance to leave peacefully. If you persist, I will personally introduce you to my good friend Agony, and believe you me, your relationship will be intimate." To punctuate her point, the Pokémon at her side stepped forward and hissed threateningly.
"The operation was a failure, so I'll withdraw for now." The man groaned, glaring hard at Dorothy. "But mark my words, you will pay dearly for your interference. This won't be the last you'll see of Team Chaos." With that, he reached into his pocket and threw down a pellet, blanketing the area in blinding light. By the time anyone could see again, there was no trace of him.
"Team Chaos... Sounds like trouble." Dorothy murmured, crossing her arms in deep thought. "To think I brough Master Calvin to Hoenn for the sole reason that there had been no criminal activity here for a few years. There goes that notion. We'll have to be on guard from now on." Her feline-like Pokémon purred at her, seemingly concerned with her ramblings. "I'm fine, Espeon. I'm just thinking is all."
"So that's an Espeon." Calvin noted, pulling out his Pokédex and scanning it.
"Espeon, the Sun Pokémon. Espeon is extremely loyal to any Trainer it considers to be worthy. It is said that this Pokémon developed its precognitive powers to protect its Trainer from harm."
"Master Calvin, let us return to camp. When we get back, I want to know how you got caught up with that guy." Dorothy said, recalling her Espeon and starting back to camp.
"Alright, right behind you." Calvin replied, turning to Ralts, who was breathing heavily, apparently just coming down from its fear. "Ralts, do you want to come back with us?" He asked. "We can feed you if you're hungry." Ralts seemed happy at the invitation, and nodded emphatically. Calvin picked it up and followed Dorothy, with Pandora right behind him. When they got back to camp, Calvin set Ralts down and sat down, looking at the ground.
"Now, about your run-in with that guy." Dorothy demanded, sitting across their campfire from him. "Don't leave out a single detail."
"Okay. I was just walking and thinking, when this Ralts came out of some bushes and hid behind me." Calvin said, motioning to Ralts, who was now talking to Pandora. "A few seconds later, that guy came out of the bushes. He was hunting it for some reason, and demanded I give it to him. I felt how scared it was of him, so I told him no. He sent out a Dusclops, so I went to send out Pandora, but then I remembered that I left her with you. After that, I tried to run, but I got hit from behind and knocked over by something. Then the guy sent Dusclops to finish me and take Ralts, which was when Pandora showed up. She battled Dusclops, and actually listened to me, but then Dusclops caught her and tried to suck her into its body, which was when you showed up." He took a deep breath, realizing he said all of that in a single breath.
"I see..." Dorothy muttered, crossing her arms and closing her eyes. After a moment, she looked at him again. "From now on, if we are separated for any reason, take your Pokémon with you. We can't risk running into trouble without our Pokémon again. In fact, if you think you're in trouble, just run. Don't bother trying to be a hero and fight unless there's no other option. Lastly, and i cannot stress this enough, do not go running your mouth to anyone. I doubt I have to remind you how your mouth got you in trouble with the neighbor kids at home?"
"I understand." Calvin muttered, shuddering at the memory. He had always been one to let his mouth dig holes he couldn't climb out of. Many bruises were earned because he couldn't resist firing off verbal shots at the first opportunity. "But this Ralts is safe, as are we all. Although I really wish my Chronic Hero Syndrome would just go into indefinite hibernation."
"Well, it is one of the main reasons I wanted you to become a Trainer." Dorothy commented. "Being a Trainer, going through trials and tribulations alongside your Pokémon builds and refines character. You learn who you are, who you're meant to be, and you're shaped into who you're supposed to be."
"That reminds me, Pandora, can you come here for a moment?" Calvin beckoned his partner over, who had Ralts sitting on her back. "I wanted to apologize to you for almost getting you killed back there, and everything leading up to it." Pandora looked up at him, eyes wide in shock, and Dorothy did a double take. "It wasn't how I wanted to start my career as a Trainer, and I'm disappointed in myself being a jerk to you, but I'm even more disappointed in myself because it took almost losing you to own up to it." He looked at the ground, and he balled up his fists. "It's already happened once, I can't let it happen again." Pandora was floored by what he just said, and once she got over the shock, she approached him and nuzzled his hand. "So are we good?" She smiled and nodded, prompting Calvin to hug her, and Ralts to jump on her head so it wouldn't get squished again.
"Congratulations, you figured it out." Dorothy chimed in, smiling at the two. "Just as I knew you would."
"I guess I did." Calvin nodded, smiling at Pandora before having his attention captured by Ralts jumping down onto his shoulder and attempting to hug his face. "Oh, you want to get in on the happiness too, huh?"
"I believing Ralts is attempting to convey gratitude to you for saving it from a far worse fate." Dorothy offered. "Even if you were completely reckless in doing so."
"Aww, you're welcome." Calvin cooed, picking Ralts up and hugging it proper. "Say, while we're on the subject, do you want to come with me?" Ralts seemed to consider, then nodded. Calvin set it down, walked over to his backpack, pulled out a Luxury Ball, walked back to Ralts and held it out. "Just touch the button on the center." Ralts did as it was told, and the Ball opened, converting Ralts into red light and sucking it in, closing afterward. The Ball wobbled for a moment, then went still, and a click was heard, with a flash of sparkles accompanying it. Calvin smiled and held up the Ball, smiling proudly at his first official capture. "My first catch! Now the adventure truly begins!" He declared, pressing the button, causing Ralts to appear again in a flash of red light and sparkles. "Welcome to the team, Ralts." As he said this, his Pokédex beeped in his pocket, and he pulled it out. "Oh, cool, it has an update on Ralts."
"Subject: Ralts. Type: Psychic/Fairy. Gender: Female. Ability: Trace. Moves known: Growl, Confuse Ray, Confusion."
"That's odd." Dorothy piped up. "I didn't know Ralts' evolutionary line could learn Confuse Ray."
"Maybe she's special." Calvin replied, looking up at the sky. "Wow, did it get dark fast." The sky was growing dark above them, increasingly so as he looked back the way they came. When he looked in the direction they were headed, he saw increasingly more light, though not by much.
"We'll stay here for the night." Dorothy replied. "We covered more ground than I thought in one day. Tomorrow, we'll head to Petalburg City."
"Petalburg City? Didn't you say there was a Pokémon Gym there?" Calvin asked, going back to his backpack and pulling out his folded sleeping bag so he could unfold it.
"Yes, there is a Pokémon Gym there." Dorothy answered, taking out her own sleeping bag and unfolding it. "Does this mean you've decided to take the Gym Challenge?"
"Yeah, I don't think I'd do well in Contests." Calvin mused, looking at Ralts and Pandora. "Besides, we both know I'm not the type for finesse."
"I won't argue with that." Dorothy giggled. "But I want you to at least try once. You may learn a thing or two from it."
"If you insist..." Calvin sighed. "I need time to grow into this."
"You have plenty of time, and it all starts tomorrow." Dorothy assured him. "For now, you should rest. It's been a long day."
"You don't have to tell me twice." Calvin sighed, recalling Pandora and Ralts and getting in his sleeping bag. "Good night, Dorothy."
"Good night, Master Calvin." Dorothy replied almost absently, in deep thought. This Team Chaos was giving her fits. Just the name suggested they were dangerous, though she could only guess at their motives. If they grew too prolific, it could have a serious impact on Calvin's journey, and she didn't want anything to happen to him. There wasn't much she could do to stop them, however, unless she was put in a position where she wouldn't have to go out of her way to do so. After all, her priority was protecting Calvin. She decided to put aside her worries about Team Chaos and talk to the authorities about it when they got to Petalburg City. Sparing one last look at Calvin, she put out the campfire and laid down herself.
15th December 2014, 04:43 PM
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
*furrowing twitching eyebrows*
Villain team name.
That is either a really weird coincidence, or you're being cheeky with me. If it is the latter, I'm actually not offended by that at all. In fact (if there even is a connection,
which I have reason to suspect there is), that's made me really curiously intrigued what you have planned for Team Chaos.
In all seriousness though, good on you for getting a chapter out. Even with your brevity, I will say this much: the turnaround for your chapters way outstrips mine. It can sometimes take weeks for me to get even a little chapter out, sometimes longer.
It's like you took a checklist of all the points I made in my last review, went down the boxes, and placed them in your following chapter.
- Calvin given a little taste of comeuppance: check (Team Chaos grunt)
- Calvin/Pandora the Absol reconciliation: check (their first real battle)
- Wider plot introduction and hook: check (Team Chaos)
- Motivation for Calvin's journey: check (Dorothy explains character-building)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I even think I saw a lot more aesthetic descriptors used in this latest chapter than I've seen up until then. It's still a very compact style, but it's showing.
Still wondering about Dorothy though. It's a little more clear that she's not just a maidservant, but also a bodyguard of sorts, if protection being her primary function is any indicator.
Critique: the sudden perspective shift from Calvin to Dorothy at the end, where the reader is given access to her thoughts, was a little jarring, and not sure if entirely necessary. This is supposed to be Calvin's story, yes? I understand that revealing some of her thought processes and motivations can help the reader understand, but it does take away some of the mystery, some of the aspect of this being Calvin's story. There is an appeal to information withheld from the readers when there are obvious hints of something deeper, allows the readers to be drawn in, to speculate, and motivates readers to move on to see if their speculations were accurate.
Edit!: Right, so the villain team name has nothing to do with me and is a total coincidence. Still, I can hardly be blamed for being wierded out by it. I'm sorry for any confusion I may have caused, though really I probably caused more confusion in myself than anything.
Last edited by chaos_Leader; 15th December 2014 at 05:39 PM.
19th December 2014, 12:30 AM
Pokémon Private Eye
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
The next morning, Calvin and Dorothy got an early start and were soon on the road after a light meal. While they walked westward, Pandora was keeping pace alongside Calvin, with Ralts on her back. They appeared to be having an animated conversation about something.
"I find it a bit ironic that they would get along." Dorothy commented, watching the two converse.
"Ironic? Why do you say that, Dorothy?" Calvin asked, looking over at the two Pokémon.
"Normally, psychic-types like Ralts would be preyed on by dark-types like Pandora." Dorothy explained, furrowing her brow in thought. "Logically, the same would go for ghost- and bug-types."
"Well, I'm not complaining." Calvin shrugged, continuing to watch the conversation. Pandora appeared to ask a question, and while Ralts appeared to be thinking, Pandora continued with a loud exclamation, at which they both started laughing. Calvin was amused by this; he hadn't known that Pandora was the kind to tell jokes. Ever since Pandora and Ralts got acquainted, Pandora seemed to be a lot less aloof. It confused him thoroughly, but if they weren't at war with one another, he wasn't going to question it. The he got an idea concerning Ralts.
"Say, Ralts, do you want a nickname, too?" He asked her. Ralts stopped laughing and looked up at him, her red eyes wide in surprise. "Since Pandora has one, I thought maybe you'd want one." Ralts thought about this for a moment, and nodded, though she didn't look like she quite understood it. "How do you like the name Ruby?" Ralts seemed to think about it, tilting her head side to side in an amusing metronomic manner. After a minute of this, she smiled and nodded emphatically. "It's settled, then. Your new name is Ruby." In response, the newly-christened Ruby seemed to warm up slightly.
"An interesting naming choice." Dorothy commented. "What inspired you to name her Ruby?"
"Her eyes." Calvin answered, putting Ruby back on Pandora's back. "They're red, and the shade kind of reminds me of rubies."
"I've never seen that kind of creativity from you before." Dorothy said, eyes wide in surprise. "I'm both surprised and impressed."
Calvin looked insulted at first, but then huffed and turned away. Just take the damn compliment, Calvin... He thought, shaking his head. He looked up noticed that they were walking past a pond, and that Pandora and Ruby had stopped. Ruby had jumped down and was walking towards the pond, where she stopped and called out loudly. Shortly after, an inconspicuous lily pad started moving toward the water's edge, and came out of the water, surprising everyone but Ruby. The lily pad was part of a small Pokémon that was dark blue and had a yellow beak. Calvin didn't hesitate to pull out his Pokédex.
"Lotad, the Water Weed Pokémon. Lotad lives in ponds with clean water. It is known to ferry small POKéMON across ponds by carrying them on the broad leaf on its head."
"So, looks like Ruby knows that Lotad." Calvin noted, watching Ruby and the Lotad have an animated conversation. Pandora was quick to enter the situation, her mere presence scaring the Lotad. Ruby began frantically trying to calm the other two down, and the other two eventually calmed down.
"It would appear that Ruby is friends with the Lotad, and perhaps wanted to have one last moment with it before she left with us." Dorothy commented, approaching the Pokémon with Calvin. When Ruby saw them approach, she led Lotad to Calvin and made introductory gestures. Lotad appeared skeptical of Calvin, but finally greeted him after coaxing from Ruby.
"Hi there, Lotad. You must be friends with- Aah, crap!" Calvin was hilariously and painfully cut off by a spray of bubbles to the face from Lotad that made him fall over backward. Lotad started shouting, and Ruby jumped in action. She bit down on a corner of the leaf on its head, picked it up, spun halfway around and tossed it at the pond, where it landed upside down and comically skipped all the way across the pond until it reached the other side, where it was stuck trying to right itself. Pandora huffed and laid down under a nearby tree, while Ruby seemed devastated. Calvin sat up, rubbing his stinging face. "The bloody heck was that all about?" He grumbled irately, looking around.
"It is difficult to say, but I believe the Lotad is behaving in a vengeful manner towards you because you captured its friend." Dorothy chimed in, watching the Lotad struggle across the pond. "Apparently, Pandora did not approve of its method of conveying this emotion."
"It must be really top-heavy with that giant leaf on its head." Calvin noted, getting up and walking around the pond. When he approached the Lotad, he was met with another barrage of bubbles, but he anticipated it and swatted the bubbles away before kneeling down to talk to Lotad. "Look, I know why you're mad at me. I captured your friend. I know what it's like to lose friends. But things like this happen to everyone. You need to understand that she chose to come with me after I saved her from an evil man." Lotad looked shocked, but still looked upset. Seeing this, Calvin went on. "But that doesn't mean you'll never see her again. In fact, if you come with me, you'll see her all the time." Lotad looked outraged at the proposal, but before it could attack him again, Calvin picked it up and set it upright. "There, now you're not upside down. You're welcome." He stood up and walked back to everyone else, leaving Lotad to think about what he had said.
"Well, you certainly do have a way with Pokémon." Dorothy giggled when Calvin returned. "You've managed to get two Pokémon angry with you in a span of 40 hours."
"You're funny, Dorothy." Calvin deadpanned, sparing her a tiring look before tending to Ruby, who still looked sad. "Hey, what's got you all down?" He asked her, picking her up. He couldn't understand what she was saying, but her gestures toward Pandora, then Lotad, him gave him an idea of it. "You're upset because you wanted Lotad to get along with us, right?" Ruby nodded, apparently surprised. "Well, Lotad's gonna be making up its mind about whether or not it wants to accept the fact that you decided to come with me." No sooner than he said it, Lotad waddled up to him, looking very conflicted. "Oh, you're back. Have you made up your mind?" Lotad looked like it was about to respond, but an inquisitive sound from Dorothy caught Calvin's attention in time for him to turn and see a redheaded girl in a blue denim jacket outfit with a red shirt and white sneakers running towards them from the west, specifically eyeing Lotad.
"Yes! I finally found one! Come to Mama, Lotad! I've waited too long to find one of you!" The girl exclaimed, sounding rather crazed as she pulled out a Poké Ball and enlarged it. "Get over here so I can catch you, you-"
"Hey, I'm really happy for you and I'll let you finish, but I was having a conversation with this Lotad, so please take a number." Calvin cut the girl off, smiling sarcastically at her before turning back to Lotad. "Now, what were you saying, Lotad?"
"You jerk! How dare you interrupt me?!" The girl screeched, stomping over and shoving him out of the way. "I'm catchin' this Lotad, and if you got a problem with that, speak up!" She heard an angry shout, and saw Ruby standing at her feet, scowling up at her. "Yeah, what's your deal, half-pint?" She would get her answer in the form of Ruby gaining a blue aura, and the Poké Ball in her hand suddenly being shot out of her hand by an invisible force and into a tree, shattering on contact.
"Yeah, see, my Ralts is close friends with that Lotad, and they're very protective of each other." Calvin chuckled, straightening his jacket and observing the shattered Poké Ball. "Don't worry, though, according to my Pokédex, Lotad make up 15% of this area's population."
"Uh-uh, I don't give two shakes of a Raticate's furry ass about any of that! I swore to myself that I was gonna catch a Lotad today, and dammit, I'm catching one!" The girl declared, pulling out another Poké Ball. "I've always wanted a Lotad, and my first time through here, I couldn't find one. I wasn't prepared to catch one at the time anyway, but now I've got the perfect Pokémon to battle and catch it! I'm finally gonna add a Lotad to my team and round out my lineup, and there's not a damn thing that's gonna stop me!" She looked down at Lotad, but what she saw instead was a Luxury Ball that had just stopped shaking, signalled by a burst of sparkles and a loud ping. She stared at it for a few seconds, completely befuddled. "W-where's the Lotad?" She stammered.
"Oh, were you finished with your speech?" Calvin asked, picking up the Luxury Ball and holding it up to the light. "You're gonna catch a Lotad today, not a damn thing that's gonna stop you, keep going."
The girl paled at the Luxury Ball in Calvin's hands and started shaking. "I-Is the Lotad in... t-there?" She shakily pointed at the Luxury Ball.
"Yeah, see while you were verbally claiming the Lotad, it continued to be fair game until you finally got around to actually acting on your claim." Calvin said casually, shrinking the Ball and clipping it to his belt. "During your speech, Lotad decided it wanted to come with me, so I obliged and caught it." The girl went from shocked to frustrated instantly. "I don't know what motivated it to that end, but personally, I'd say it was your loud mouth. I wouldn't blame it, either. Just listen to the way you talk. I thought my cousin was abrasive, sheesh." As he finished, the girl went from frustrated to downright homicidal. Calvin noticed, and smiled. "Oh, you had more to add to your speech?"
"I WILL POUND YOU INTO PASTE!" The girl screamed, charging at Calvin. Before she could knock that smug smirk off his face, however, Dorothy had grabbed her wrist, and was holding her back. "LEMME GO! THAT LOTAD WAS MINE! I'M GONNA KILL 'IM!" She continued to struggle, but Dorothy's grip wasn't faltering.
"While I do not condone what he did, it is not your place to punish him." Dorothy said calmly, hitting Calvin with a gaze that would make any lesser man instantly start apologizing. "However, what he said is absolutely correct in this scenario. 'Calling dibs' on a Pokémon doesn't work. The Pokémon isn't yours until you catch it in your Poké Ball. Until then, it is fair game for anyone to capture. The proper way to handle the situation would have been to capture the Lotad, then give your speech afterward. Is this coming clearly to you?"
The girl finally stopped struggling, and let out one final scream of frustration that made everyone else cringe and cover their ears. "Fine." She huffed, glaring murderously at Calvin. "But I'm not done with you!" She snatched a Poké Ball off of her belt and held it out. "I challenge you to a battle! Winner keeps the Lotad. Sound fair?"
"Sorry, but it's out of my hands." Calvin shrugged. "It was Lotad's decision to come with me. I'm not going to undermine that. If you want to battle that badly, I'll battle you, but not if Lotad's at stake, because it ultimately wasn't my decision."
"He speaks truthfully, you know." Dorothy said soothingly. "A Pokémon's choice is as valid as a human's choice."
"Son of a bitch, fine. I'll go find another Lotad." The girl sighed, stomping angrily. "But I'm still gonna battle you and beat you for what you did!"
"If you don't mind, could you beat me first, and then gloat?" Calvin asked sarcastically, motioning for Ruby and Pandora to come over. "Outside of Lotad, I have two Pokémon. Name your terms accordingly."
"A simple one-on-one knockout match will do just fine." The girl replied, enlarging the Poké Ball in her hand.
"One-on-one it is, then." Calvin nodded. "By the way, what's your name?"
"It's Alyssa Stevens. Don't you dare forget it!" Alyssa responded. "What's yours?"
"Calvin O'Brien." Calvin replied. "So, you ready to get this underway?"
"Eager for me to hand your ass to you?" Alyssa cracked.
"What can I say, you're rubbing off on me." Calvin shot back.
"If the pre-battle one-liners are finished, we can begin." Dorothy said, standing equidistant between them and off to the side. "This one-on-one knockout match will begin on my signal. There is no time limit. Choose your Pokémon."
"Alright, let's score a win! Torchic, I choose you!" Alyssa shouted, throwing her Poké Ball. It burst open, revealing a small orange chick-like Pokémon with yellow wings, beak and flame-shaped crest on its head. Calvin immediately checked his Pokédex.
"Torchic, the Chick Pokémon. A fire burns inside, so it feels very warm to hug. It launches fireballs of 1,800 degrees F."
"Mm, sounds like this one's gonna be a real scorcher." Calvin muttered, putting his Pokédex away. "Ruby, I'll let you take this one." Ruby nodded timidly and hesitantly shuffled out in front of him. Pandora called out to her, and she nodded.
"This battle is between Torchic and Ralts. Begin!" Dorothy called out, raising both arms above her head.
"Let's go, Torchic! Ember!" Alyssa shouted. Torchic gave a shrill cry before launching a volley of small red fireballs at Ruby, who shrieked and frantically ran side to side try to dodge them, ultimately taking a few hits. "Hah! What a coward! This is practically a gimme!"
"Come on, Ruby, let's fight back!" Calvin shouted encouragingly. "Let's fire back with Confusion!" Ruby hesitantly nodded and stared at Torchic, gaining a blue aura like before, though not nearly as strong. After a second, a distortion wave appeared to fire at Torchic, hitting squarely, but it didn't even blink. "What was that?" Calvin asked, looking in his Pokédex again.
"Confusion is a telekinetic attack with middling power. In lesser Pokémon, this move manifests as an invisible force projectile."
"Great, this won't even be fun." Alyssa sighed. "A win's a win, though. Torchic, use Peck!" Torchic started running at Ruby with a glowing beak ready to strike.
"Ruby, try again! Do it like you did with her Poké Ball!" Calvin ordered. Ruby's aura returned, and after a moment, Torchic looked like it ran into a wall. It stopped short, stumbled back, and shook its head. "That's better, now do it harder!" Seconds later, a second force projectile hit Torchic, and it stumbled back a few steps.
"That's enough! Torchic, Ember!" Alyssa growled. Torchic shook off the attacks and launched another volley of fireballs at Ruby, nearly all of them hitting squarely and knocking her down. "Yeah! Now finish it with Peck!" Torchic started running again, albeit faster than before, as evidenced by an afterimage chasing it.
"Ruby, get up and dodge!" Calvin shouted. Ruby got up, and started running away from Torchic, she herself experiencing the same same increase as Torchic. "What's going on?" He checked his Pokédex to see if it had an answer.
"Ralts' ability Trace allows it to copy a foe's ability. Ralts' current ability is Speed Boost."
"So, your Torchic has Speed Boost?" Calvin asked. "But I thought their ability was Blaze!"
"Well, my Torchic is special." Alyssa said with a smirk. "Get it, Torchic!" Torchic continued to chase Ruby, gradually closing in.
"It's no good! Ruby, turn towards it and use Confuse Ray!" Calvin ordered. Ruby turned and, sliding to a stop, and fired a beam of colorful light from her eyes that engulfed Torchic. When it was over, Torchic was stumbling about, stars in its eyes.
"Hey, I thought Ralts couldn't learn Confuse Ray!" Alyssa shouted as Torchic ran to a tree and repeatedly rammed into it.
"Well, my Ralts is special." Calvin said with a smirk. "Ruby, Confusion! Dial it up all the way!" Ruby's aura returned, and she stared hard at Torchic. "You can do it, Ruby! Blast it with everything you've got!" With a loud shout, Ruby fired off another force projectile, which hit Torchic as it was ramming the tree again and slammed it into the tree with such magnificent force that the bark was cracked and splintered. Torchic collapsed face down against the tree trunk, and didn't move.
"Noooo, my Torchic!" Alyssa cried, running to retrieve her Torchic.
"The battle is over! Torchic is unable to continue, so the victory goes to Ralts!" Dorothy announced, raising her right hand towards Calvin.
"Alright, Ruby, you did it! You won your first battle!" Calvin cheered, hugging Ruby, who cheered in delight.
"You only won that battle because of that stupid Confuse Ray! If not for that, I would've owned your smug ass!" Alyssa growled, recalling her Torchic and stomping over to Calvin.
"Hey, a win's a win." Calvin shrugged, smirking. "Stop making excuses and accept the fact that I beat you."
"I'll remember this! You better remember, too!" Alyssa hissed. "In fact, I'll make it so you can't forget!" She pulled out a PokéNav and pointed it at the XTransceiver on Calvin's left wrist.
"What are you doing?" Calvin asked, watching her confusedly.
"I'm registering you in my PokéNav via infrared connection." Alyssa replied. A minute later, both devices beeped. "Done! Now, you better keep training, because the next time we meet, you're going down!" With that, she turned on her heels and ran westward, back the way she came.
"That was weird." Calvin muttered, recalling Ruby and Pandora. "Man, it hasn't even been two hours and I've already caught my third Pokémon, and won my first real battle."
"And you have your first rival." Dorothy added. "Which reminds me, I have something to tell you." She walked over to him, smiling sweetly.
"What is it, Dorothy?" Calvin asked, soon getting his answer in the form of Dorothy's left hand upside his head. "Oww! What was that for?!"
"Your attitude towards Alyssa was rude and inexcusable." Dorothy replied, starting to walk westward. "Regardless of whether you are right, such an attitude is uncalled for. Now, come along. We should make it to Petalburg City within the hour at a solid pace."
Calvin grumbled unkind words under his breath and followed Dorothy. He knew she had a point, but he felt like it shouldn't matter. If he was right, he was right, and that was it. However, if she wanted to get through to him, he knew better than to defy her. Maybe he would get better at dealing with people as time passed. Only time would tell.
26th December 2014, 07:22 PM
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
Apologies for not replying sooner.
Not much going on here, to be honest.
We see Calvin gain a new member of the team in his lotad, and have a quick trainer battle with a hot-headed young lady (who uses torchic no less).
The chapter was more of a showcase of Calvin and his personality than anything else really, how he so casually and nonchalantly dismisses other people. I would have liked there to have been more, but this is short, and can only hold so much.
5th February 2015, 01:09 PM
Pokémon Private Eye
Re: Pokémon: Heir's Journey: Hoenn
"Poochyena is unable to continue! Lotad wins!" Dorothy held up her right hand towards Calvin, indicating his side the victor of the battle. This was the third battle Calvin had since his battle with Alyssa, and he used Lotad all three times. Lotad had proven that he was a powerhouse, and Calvin took delight in this. Lotad's arsenal of Bubble Beam, Bullet Seed, Astonish and Growl allowed Calvin to devise many strategies, and their shared love of battling brought them closer together.
"Awesome job, Lotad! Now we're 4-0!" Calvin cheered, picking up Lotad and holding him aloft like a prized trophy. He chose not to count the encounter with the Team Chaos grunt, since it wasn't an actual battle to him.
"That Lotad is too strong! You shouldn't go all out on people like that, it demoralizes them!" The unfortunate boy cried, recalling his Poochyena.
"Victory is absolute. Besides, if I held back, what would either of us gain from it?" Calvin asked. "Stop making excuses for your failures, and use them to grow stronger."
"Whatever, I'm outta here!" The boy huffed, running eastward.
"Poor guy," Calvin sighed, shaking his head. "How does he expect to get any better if he can't accept his own weaknesses?"
"How, indeed," Dorothy said with a knowing smirk.
"Alright, let's keep going. I really wanna get my first Badge!" Calvin shouted, recalling Lotad and running westward.
"Stop when you get there and wait for me!" Dorothy called after him, keep an even pace behind him. Calvin waved behind him to show his acknowledgement, and kept running.
Once Calvin arrived at Petalburg, he stopped per Dorothy's instructions and waited. He could see two ponds, a Poké Mart, a Pokémon Center and a large building with a Gym sign. He also saw lots of people huddled in the middle of town, as if gathered around something. There was a voice amongst the crowd, but Calvin was too far away to make out what was being said. He'd have to wait until Dorothy caught up so they could go see what was happening. After a minute, he heard slow footsteps behind him and turned to see Dorothy stop behind him.
"I must say, Master Calvin, you have a lot of energy today," Dorothy commented, looking into town. "I see there's a crowd gathered. Shall we go see what's happening?"
"Yeah, then we'll head to the Gym," Calvin replied, starting to walk into town with Dorothy right behind him. As they approached the crowd, they could hear the voice more clearly.
"...And we of Team Cosmos will lead the charge against the evil Team Chaos with your support! Thank you for listening, and have a great day," the voice stopped, and the crowd began to disperse. Calvin saw the people who had been in the center of the crowd: a group of no less than ten people in white trenchcoats with a white 'C' superimposed over a circle of blue emblazoned on the shoulders and lapels. The speaker had been a woman who looked to be in her late twenties with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She seemed to notice Calvin and Dorothy, and started towards them. "Ah, you look like travelers. Tell me, have you encountered any of a group of people with black jackets and an insignia consisting of an orange circle with a black 'C'?" she asked them, studying them closely.
"You must mean Team Chaos! Yeah, we've seen one of them," Calvin answered, tensing up as fury built up at the thought. "You're not affiliated with them, are you?"
"No, traveler, I am not," the woman replied, shaking her head with a smile, "I am Terra, a Commander of Team Cosmos, sworn enemy of Team Chaos."
"That explains the different uniforms," Dorothy noted. "Your uniforms are literal polar opposites of one another."
"Indeed, as we are polar opposites in every way," Terra nodded. "Anyway, I must urge you to avoid conflict with Team Chaos if you can. They are very dangerous. They are not above taking extreme measures to meet their extremist aims."
"What are they trying to accomplish?" Dorothy asked.
"They wish to increase the conflict within the world," Terra began, "They see conflict as a catalyst for development of civilization. In times of war, there are advances in technology, and the technology used in wartime is reapplied to everyday life in times of peace. They believe that humans are beings of war, and in these times of peace, we grow soft and weak. According to them, the same goes for Pokémon, who have grown weak in building relationships with humans. They also believe that the cycle of peace and war is occurring too slowly, and wish to see it happen more quickly. They plan to use both humans and Pokémon to accomplish these ends, and will stop at nothing to see that happen."
"I see..." Dorothy commented, writing in her pocket journal.
"So, by definition of polar opposites, you believe that peace is what brings out the best in us, and want to use peaceful methods to keep the peace," Calvin concluded, "Is that right?"
"You are half right," Terra answered, "We wish to maintain peace to see the development of civilization and the relationship between humans and Pokémon reach their full potential. However, we have to qualms with fighting to maintain peace. That goes especially for Team Chaos, who are the ones trying to disrupt the peace."
"Well, any enemy of Team Chaos is a friend of mine!" Calvin declared, pumping a fist in the air. "You've got my support!"
"I concur with his statement," Dorothy added, "We share a common adversary, so we shall assist you in any way we can."
"We of Team Cosmos are grateful to you for your support," Terra said with a smile, "If you encounter Team Chaos in the future, I ask that you report their activity to us. Otherwise, you may use your own discretion in dealing with them, as you seem to be capable Trainers."
"Ah, you have a good eye if you can tell I'm capable." Calvin said, puffing out his chest proudly. This elicited a facepalm and a sigh from Dorothy.
"We'll do as you suggested," Dorothy sighed, shaking her head at Calvin's display.
"I thank you in advance for your cooperation," Terra said, pausing when another member came up and whispered in her ear. "We must cut this short, as we have other business to which we must attend, as, I assume, do you. Until next we meet, farewell." With that, Terra summoned a white Pokémon with green hair that appeared to be wearing a ballroom gown, as did the rest, and they all teleported away.
"What were those Pokémon?" Calvin asked, taking out his Pokédex and searching fora Pokémon that matched the description. He quickly found what he was looking for and selected it.
"Gardevoir, the Embrace Pokémon. Gardevoir has the psychokinetic power to distort the dimensions and create a small black hole. This Pokémon will try to protect its Trainer even at the risk of its own life. Gardevoir is the final evolved form of Ralts."
"So this is what Ruby will become, then... interesting," Calvin mused, putting the Pokédex away.
"Didn't you want to go to the Gym?" Dorothy asked knowingly, reminding him of his objective.
"That's right, I almost forgot!" Calvin exclaimed, running off towards the Gym. When he got there, he was met by a man standing by the door.
"You're here to challenge the Gym Leader, Norman, right?" The man asked, to which Calvin nodded impatiently. "How many Badges do you have?"
"What kind of question is that?" Calvin demanded, "I don't have any yet! This is the first Gym, right?"
"Actually, it's not. This is the fifth gym," The man replied, "It's a common mistake that people make. The first gym is in the next town, Rustboro City."
"Thank you," Calvin sighed, walking away, and almost running into Dorothy. "Dorothy! You knew about this, didn't you?" Calvin demanded.
"Guilty as charged," Dorothy managed to say through her giggles.
"Why didn't you tell me?!" Calvin raged.
"...You didn't ask," Dorothy managed to say before bursting into laughter.
"You're a real jerk, you know that?" Calvin muttered before storming off towards the Pokémon Center. He needed to get his Pokémon rested up before they continued on.mon Center, and walked up to the desk, behind which stood Nurse Joy. "I need my Pokémon healed, please."
"Sure, right away," Nurse Joy replied cheerfully, taking his Poké Balls to the back.
Calvin sat down and tried to calm down. He'd gotten so amped about his first Gym battle, only to have to wait because Dorothy didn't warn him that this wasn't the first Gym. At least it was the next town, so we wouldn't have to go much longer. Unfortunately, waiting wasn't Calvin's forte. Soon, Dorothy came in after him and walked past him, leaving him to his thoughts. It would be another few minutes before she came back, the smell of Earl Grey tea heralding her return. She handed him a cup before sitting down next to him with her own.
"I made the same mistake you did when I traveled here, you know," Dorothy said, breaking the silence between them. "No one told me, either, until I got there. I was so disappointed."
Calvin turned towards her, took a sip of his tea, then turned back to her. "You thought it would be funny to see if I would react the same way when I found out?" he asked with an edge to his tone.
"No, I was testing you to see if you would ask about it," Dorothy replied, taking a sip of her tea, "and you failed the test. Kanto works similarly, in that the first Gym you'll encounter happens to be the eighth, and in Sinnoh, the third Gym happens to be the fifth."
"Why do they do that?" Calvin asked. "It's really confusing."
"It all depends on the strength of the Gym Leaders, I suppose," Dorothy answered, taking another sip, "though I'm not really sure myself. In any case, once you have four Badges, we'll come back and you can challenge this Gym."
"He said that the first Gym is in Rustboro City," Calvin said, taking another sip, "is that right?"
"Yes, we have to go through Route 4 and Petalburg Woods to get there, though," Dorothy replied, "Can you handle that?"
"Of course," Calvin replied, taking another sip, "I wanna catch more Pokémon anyway."
"Good, so when you're ready, we'll set off for Rustboro," Dorothy said, taking another sip.
"My Pokémon have to be healed first, and I wanna stay the night here," Calvin said, finishing his tea.
"I'll get our rooms, then," Dorothy said, finishing her tea and going up to the desk. After a few minutes, she came back with two keys, handing Calvin one. "There's your key."
"Thank you, Dorothy," Calvin said, relaxing in the chair and going through his thoughts. Before he knew it, the comfortable chair had put him to sleep.