2nd January 2012, 11:27 PM #1
Part 1: Falling in
"She prefers the company of poison apples he prefers the company of nothing at all."
-Without a Face
Prologue: Story Time http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/f227/poison-apples-124893/#post3712915
Last edited by mewstone; 4th February 2012 at 07:18 PM.
2nd January 2012, 11:29 PM #2
Re: Poison Apples
Prologue: Story Time
“Tell us the story Auntie! Please,” the little girl had the biggest doe-eyes she could manage.
“I’ve told it to you a thousand times, you should be sick of it already,” a girl said stubbornly. She sat in an old arm chair surrounded by seven little kids. She and “Uncle”, as they called him, were in charge of the little tykes.
“Uh-uh,” an older boy protested, “You told it to them once, and you stopped halfway through saying you were bored of telling it.”
“Uncle’s right,” the little girl said in a sing-song voice. She was smiling, Auntie always listened to Uncle.
“Fine I’ll tell it, you ungrateful brats,” she said, “Thanks for encouraging them Uncle.”
“Yay!” several voices shouted out. All the little kids sat cross-legged on the ground right next to the chair.
“Yeah, yeah, just shut up and listen,” she cleared her throat and began, “Once upon a time, about one hundred thousand years ago a war between human kind and pokemon threatened to destroy the world. Until a dude named Saritops and a mew tried to stop the fighting and junk.”
“You shouldn’t use “junk” and “dude” in your story it isn’t very descriptive,” Uncle piped up.
“You were the one who was so insistent on me telling the story. I’ll tell it the way I want,” she said, “No more interruptions. As I was saying, when Saritops and the mew tried to convince them to stop, neither side would budge. Both of them were deserted and treated as outcasts, the mew was even badly wounded, and dying. Saritops was sad, he was unable to save his friend and the world was falling apart. The mew used the last bit of his power to create a stone that only Saritops could wield. With it Saritops could use all the powers that the mew could. He used this power to stop the fighting and restore peace to the world. After years and years of restoring the world to a place where pokemon and humans worked together, Saritops was reunited with the mew in the afterlife. As he was dying, he predicted someone else would come who could use the power of the stone. Her name was Elise.
She lived with her parents who were both very powerful and respected pokemon trainers. She grew up in a big house and spent most of her time playing with her dad’s favorite type of pokemon, fire. Her life could’ve stayed that way forever; she wouldn’t have ever needed that stone. But as you all know, happily ever after doesn’t exist. Elise’s mom had a secret; she had broken all ties to her family and changed her last name pretending they never existed. Her family however had come back to haunt her. Elise’s mom always told her to never go with strangers, especially if they said they were her uncle.
One morning Elise went out to play and strayed a little too far from her house. A black limousine pulled up in front of her and a tall man wearing a suit stepped out of it and walked up to her. He told her he was her uncle who wanted her to come with him to visit. She backed away from him slowly ready to run to her mother. His soothing voice called her back. He pulled out a pokeball from his pocket and handed it to her; he would let her keep it, if she came with him. She opened it, a cute charmander appeared. It was a fire type; she could be a trainer just like her father. She climbed into the back of the limousine and watched as her house grew smaller and smaller.
She didn’t see that house or her parents until years and years later. Her uncle was none other than Giovanni, the leader of Team Rocket himself. He was obsessed with the legendary pokemon mew; he even tried to recreate it once. He heard the legend of the mew stone, and studied it extensively. He believed his own niece was the new holder of the stone and trained her at a very young age to be a rocket. She wasn’t that bad either, she became one of the top agents. She used to ask if she could go home but she would get in trouble so she stopped asking. She tried to run away once but she was punished severely.
In fear she obeyed everything he said. I wish she was a bit more persistent with the running away business. Maybe things wouldn’t have gone so horribly wrong. Her special unit was sent to a town with instructions to burn it down. Her uncle never told her why. The smoke was suffocating, the flames torn through the town; it was a terrifying sight for a ten-year-old. She heard the screams of people unable to escape, and she heard the cries of a little child. She searched the ashes until she found a little girl about six who had somehow escaped the fire. Her parents and siblings, if she had them, were dead. There were no other survivors. She brought the kid back to headquarters and she was turned into a Rocket. Elise always regretted that decision, the kid was probably better off sitting alone in the remains of her town.
After that Elise tried to run away as often as she could. She was recaptured almost every single time, until it occurred to her the perfect way to escape. She used her first pokemon, now a charizard, to start a fire in the main building. In the confusion she escaped and was now a free person. Unfortunately, Giovanni escaped as well. The little girl she had rescued before also made it out alive. Giovanni took more interest in that girl turning her into a monster whose words were deadlier then poison. He made her hate Elise with her whole heart, making her believe it was all Elise’s fault that she was alone. We’ll get back to her later. Elise then set out to find the reason she was involved in the mess I like to call her life so far; the mew stone.
In Sinnoh there was a ten-year-old boy, just one year younger than Elise at this point. His grandfather was a respected archeologist who was on a digging team who may have found the mew stone’s resting place. Elise found this place and quickly became friends with that boy named Tommy. He was able to sneak her into the digging sight. She was attracted to a brown rock that was about the size of her palm. It had been thrown aside as a useless rock, when she picked it up it glowed turning a brilliant pink. The color looked the same as a mew’s pelt. They reported their findings to his grandfather who fastened it to a string so she could wear it around her neck. He didn’t tell his colleagues about it fearing they would try to use her and her new powers for evil. He sent Elise off with Tommy, who received his very first pokemon, hoping they would be safe. She experimented with her abilities, soon mastering a few of its powers. She could use pokemon moves by just saying their names and concentrating really hard. She could use only a few moves and they weren’t very powerful, but it was a start. It seemed things were finally working out for her, until she fell in love.”
“How is that a bad thing?” a boy in the back questioned.
“Sam, have you fallen in love before?” Auntie asked.
“No,” he replied.
“Then you have no idea, it is one of the greatest things in the world. But it can be your greatest weakness, as Elise soon found out. His name was Isaac; he was Tommy’s grandfather’s apprentice. He was the only other person who knew of the secret. He wasn’t a very good trainer with only a low leveled totodile to his name. She loved him and he loved her more than any other two people could ever love each other. Tommy knew they liked each other before they did. He could tell what people were thinking by looking into their eyes if he knew them well enough. The three of them were almost like a little family. Elise began teaching Tommy how to master pokemon training. Tommy began to realize he was fascinated by water types, his first pokemon being a starmie. Isaac continued to improve in his studies and would’ve made a fine archeologist.”
“Nothing’s going wrong,” Sam complained.
“I’m getting there!” she snapped, “I won’t get there if you keep interrupting. As I was saying, they thought nothing would ever go wrong. However Elise had forgotten all about one teensy tiny problem. Her uncle was still furious, still looking for her, and now knew she had people close to her he could take advantage of.”
“Auntie I’ll tell this part okay,” Uncle kneeled down on the floor amongst the kids trying to prepare them for the next part of the story, “You see, Giovanni found where they were staying and kidnapped them. Elise thought she would be able to escape easily with her powers. She wasn’t the one who studied for years and years on the stone however. Giovanni had learned that if her arms were tied behind her back she couldn’t use her powers. Defeated, she was sent to a heavily guarded prison until she complied with him. He gave her ten days to join him or he would have her boyfriend and apprentice killed.”
“No,” the little girl who asked for the story whimpered.
“Zel honey,” Uncle stroked her head, “I promise you there will be a happy ending, just wait.”
“Happy ending?” Auntie questioned.
“Eventually Auntie, just tell the story!” he said.
“Fine. Two of her guards were twins named Jack and Angie. Their parents were grunts who also raised their children in Rocket life. They were considered prodigies in pokemon, and some of the best guards in the business. They were the only two on duty one night checking on the prisoner. Elise was fine one moment but the next she was on the ground sobbing. Keeping their distance they questioned her. She said she felt Isaac dying. She knew he was gone, she said she saw him saying goodbye,” she was interrupted by five of the kids sobbing, the rest trying to act unaffected, but clearly upset.
“I’m done telling, just go to sleep now,” they walked to their rooms slowly in silence.
“Auntie,” Uncle looked at her pleading with his eyes.
“Maybe there’ll be a happy ending,” she said, all the kids sped back to their spots ready to hear more, “And I guess that means I’m still telling it?” She asked angrily.
“Sure does,” Uncle smiled.
“Shut up,” she said and began telling the rest of the story.
Last edited by mewstone; 4th February 2012 at 07:16 PM.
3rd January 2012, 02:18 AM #3
Re: Poison Apples
An interesting prologue, with a mix of ancient legend and personal backstory. Your grammar could use a tiny bit of work - mainly super long sentences that could easily be split up - other than that it's fine.